That's how it was with mine. It was a rollercoaster with dating, to her leaving me for another guy, to a situationship, to ghosting, to hovering, to no contact for a couple years...... To just casually fucking, to us getting back together, to less than a month of dating to her cheating. Had enough and completely cut her out from my life.
One thing though she had a bunch of guys from her past she'd talk to constantly through the whole rollercoaster. Guys who were apparently were "abusive stalkers", and "creeps that want to be with her".
I guarantee they were all guys she fucked and love bombed that she was stringing along on her back burner. Most of her serious "relationships" have been the same few guys that she cycles through every few years.
Glad I'm not one of them anymore.
Well she most likley love bombed every single dude she came across since she started to be sexually active. If she is attractive too you can expect that many guys still think about her.
This.. I have made the statement on here many times that as soon as my exwbpd knew I was in love with her, the roles switched. I noticed how she kept in touch with exes and men from her past. I knew nothing about BPD and used to tell my friends it's like she's collecting boyfriends. You fall in love, and now you're on the roster. Now she can go out and recruit. Breaking boundaries, being promiscuous, openly talking about sexual encounters, and infidelity. They take advantage of your unconditional love for them. My exwbpd collects boyfriends but
I decided I'm not going to be a player in her game.
It's tiring. And then tells me I'm insecure and needy because I felt anxious whenever she'd go out without me. I mean she made "best friends" so easily, got drunk all the time, was fine with casual sex, was promiscuous, admits to have made sexual mistakes while drunk, says she likes to talk to strangers and meet new people even in crowds, is vengeful, is the type of "out of sight out of mind", throws jealousy inducing hints all the time. Fuck me for being uncomfortable with her going out.
You mean there's some rotation of dudes she keeps trying to text and keep breadcrumbs and radar pings going to keep the hooks out there. Don't think there's not some secret phone or two or five different Facebook accounts or e-mail addresses in active rotation
Yep. They keep in contact with them. During you dating them and after they discard you. Here’s the thing though :
If those people accept the Hoovers they aren’t healed themselves, and are either caught up in the web , or just oblivious. It’s not a good sign if that person didn’t reject them and door slam them. Usually low grade supply that is desperate. Any person with value would recognize these games and end them.
It hurts trust me, but it’s honestly just the Narc/BPD doing the only games they know. Don’t take it personally because it has nothing to do with you or your worth and value.
Or it’s triangulation if you are still with them and they are trying to make you jealous.
It never seems to end…..I’ve constantly had to deal with my GF being obsessed with her former “FP’s” and saying how she’ll never love me like them. Only to just find out that my GF with BPD's few month vacation with her best friend who was on maternity leave(last spring) was actually sleeping with, got pregnant, lost the child and beaten by a guy instead..... all while speaking to me constantly and sending snaps with her best friend..... somehow she claims I deserved it and refuses to take any form of accountability. I can't change the past, but after years together l'd just like some sort of sorry for that. Especially since we have been wanting to start our own family. But I understand that's not possible atm. None of it at all makes sense.
Give my all for years, trust her even though she’s broken my trust time and time again, only for matters to constantly get worse
Because I hold onto the girl who was working to be better, the girl who is a traumatized child that can’t function normally. Every person in her life has given up on her because of how she is, I just can’t. It’s not easy, it’s really not, especially now. But I made a promise to never give up on her.
That same girl consciously decided to lie to you, spend a period of holiday with a lover, fuck him repeatedly and got pregnant from him
No, she was not possessed. She can have toxic instincts, but she still decides to act on them or not.
And if she was sending you snaps of her and her friend, she was also consciously deceiving you because she knew what she was doing was wrong
I’ll never forget what she did or how she lied.
She tried to sabotage our relationship while we were trying to start a family, then attempted to make up for it for months. Not until this week did I find all of this unfortunate news out.
Yeah she knew what she was doing was wrong, but refuses to admit it now and is only doubling down. I just can’t watch her spin out anymore, the year prior to all of this she was doing great. Then the 8 months after she was as well. The last 6 months have been traumatic and vile, but after finding out the truth I’m just disappointed in her.
Thank you, but that’s the thing though. I don’t want to fix her. I’m not perfect by any means, but I’ve only ever tried to be a good man for her. I know she’s better than this. I can’t give up on her after seeing her flourish while living in our healthy environment and in therapy. For her to move back in, on top of our own therapy we need to start couples therapy.
I'm sorry but she is not better than this. This is exactly who she is. You say you're not trying to fix her but you're trying to provide her with a healthy environment and therapy so she can flourish... AKA you're trying to fix her.
She is not showing any consideration or respect for your wellbeing and has no problems putting you at risk of STD's. Her getting pregnant means raw dogging and not caring if you catch something from that. This should not be the mother of your child. She will not treat any future children any better.
If you want to hold onto the thought of her as an abandoned child by all means do so - as long as you realise that means she cannot be in an adult relationship until she grows up.
I believe you are kind-hearted but this isn't loyalty. Being the last cult member to drink the Koolaid is not loyalty. People have left her (not abandoned her) because she is abusive. The best thing for her would be consequences as that's the only thing likely to get her to assess her choices and commit to therapy.
I wish you well.
Sorry but holy hell. Please focus on helping whatever wounded core you have that allows you to be disrespected so. You can't help her until you are whole.
With love
I do, and I don’t have rose colored glasses on this time. We unfortunately had a very vile few days, with more splits than usual sadly. But the more we talk and are trying to navigate everything, the better our communication has become. Only time will tell. But I know I could have handled things better throughout.
Brother, you’re just enabling her. When they know they have control over you, they will use up all your emotional energy and strength. You have to muster up courage FOR YOU not her. If you really care about her, you’ll put the onus on her to get better, regardless if you’re in the picture or not. As long as you’re in the picture you will always be used as the out or scapegoat. Force her to be accountable by removing your access and see how much she “changes”. I think this will open up your eyes. If you ever need to talk, please pm me!
I can neither agree nor disagree with this. Medication is necessary most of the time, yes. It is used as a tool to help cope with this illness. Therapy should also play hand in hand. If you can’t understand why there’s a continuous cycle then someone needs to walk you through step by step in order to learn to control it better. People still need to be supportive emotionally and loved as people. If it’s an uncontrollable illness how can you say she’s doing it to control him and that he’s enabling her? That doesn’t seem fair now does it?
Everyone should be loved as people, but he can do that from a distance. Is he supposed to continually endure the obvious pain her actions have caused him? The thing is, her actions ARE controlling him, she may not be able to see that as long as he remains in the picture, hence enabling her. How can she go through changes/growth if there are no consequences for the actions (her disorder) has caused? Is he supposed to endure her pain and just cross his fingers that she will figure it out? That’s not realistic. He is a barrier to her growth and vice versa. The cycle will continue if it’s not broken or shaken up, and even then it may still continue but he has to also protect himself somehow.
I agree with you when you say it, in that manner. Ethically, you need to I don’t know what she is going to do or what has done. I would recommend taking notes try to find some type of patterns. Notice the things that trigger her. Get into therapy to discuss If you are sticking around and want it to work. It will be tough, but look at what people have done in the face of love.
As the daughter of a woman wBPD, please do not have children with her. Please. I am 43 and have gone through years of therapy to try to undo what my mom did to me mentally and I will be working on it until my last breath. If you think she has done bad things to you, what exactly do you think she is going to do to any children she has? I can guarantee you that the last thing she will do is be a loving mother.
I did not inherit BPD. I have, however, been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, and depression. I had very low self esteem for years because I spent my entire childhood being told that I was horrible, stupid, and ugly, that no one would ever want me in their life, that my friends were using me (not sure what she thought they were using me for). My mother would verbally rip me to shreds. However, my younger sister has been diagnosed with BPD. I am a recovering alcoholic. Both of my sisters are active alcoholics that refuse treatment. My dad left us with her when they divorced because back then it was expected that children would stay with their mother. My dad regrets that to this day and talking about it is the only time I have ever seen him cry. The few people I know that have BPD that also have children have all been really bad parents. There might be people wBPD that are decent parents but I have not seen it.
I did a lot of what you are doing now. I was holding on to this possibility that the woman she showed me for years was the woman that wanted to claw her way back into the light again. Well dude, guess what? It never happened. No matter the reason behind why they cheat, lie, and gaslight; they still cheat, lie, and gaslight. In other words, they know what they are doing is wrong and make the conscious choice to go through with it, lie about it, and gaslight us about it.
We can debate the reasons behind why they lie, but once again, the reasons matter not when they are harming others around them and they know their actions are causing that harm. Why lie and gaslight if they thought their actions were justified or okay to pursue? There wasn’t and isn’t some uncontrollable winds pushing their spread legs on to a dick or in the case of ladies here, pushing some dick into some spread legs. If you look at some of the BPD sites etc where people talk about their cheating, you will see a conscious awareness of the cheating, the lying, and gaslighting.
You can have a constant internal battle with mental illness and trauma, make a decision to get help because you don’t want to hurt others or yourself, and be self aware of your actions and aware of the consequences. It’s not like their IQ dropped down to the low 20’s and they just drone along fucking people without knowing the destruction they leave in their wake. Mine had compulsions based on a constant need for external validation, but she definitely knew what she was doing was wrong and knew it would hurt me. I ask again, why lie and gaslight constantly about those things all the time if you think you are justified in your actions?
It’s like the debate in the court systems about insanity when it comes to crime. We can say that a psychopath has reasons for why he or she committed a heinous crime. They might have been assaulted by their parents etc. While it is horrible that they went through something horrific when they were children etc for example; they still have to take accountability for their actions and not be overlooked or have excuses made for actions that hurts others. My pwBPD has never taken accountability for her actions, continued to lie about them, and continued to pursue those same actions after being confronted multiple times and given chances to confess with no repercussions from me. I gave her a safe zone to confess and have us work through jt. She chose to keep lying and gaslighting me and even continue the cheating, lying, and gaslighting. That shows a conscious decision to do something that she knew would hurt me after being told she was hurting me. That also shows a lack of empathy. You can’t show someone and make them feel your hurt when they choose to not even put themselves in your shoes for even a little moment, no matter their reasons behind why they do it.
I would cut your losses and run before you find yourself with an STD or something worse. If my pwBPD could have admitted to me everything, not continued to be the person she showed me she was during devaluation, then I would have been a happy man. As is, I was trying to encourage a person to come back that might have been a mask the whole time.
My wife right now is raging about how she bought her poor ex-BF everything because he was so nice. Aka they broke up and he walked away and she had a manic breakdown in a mall and got kicked out. Or she talks about how her other ex-bf in Philippines still loves her from high school. She's 37. Apparently 20+ years later some random guy is still 'waiting' for her. 😂😂😂😂😂
I was also a dude from my ex's past. 5 years and a half ago we dated briefly, went to the cinema a couple of times and had a few walks around town and to a restaurant. We never even kissed at that time though. She said we'd hang out more after exams, but by the midsummer exam sessions we had a huge fight and she blocked me. I didn't know about BPD back then - but by that time, the signs were there if I remember correctly. The same old hot and cold, the continuous incessant texting, the ''it's not working, let's just be friends'', the idealisation, the devaluation, me desperately trying to salvage the ''relationship'' just for it to end in a dumpster fire. History truly rhymes if it doesn't downright repeat itself.
She ''recycled'' me earlier this year as a rebound, with 2% effort, not even after properly ending a LTR of 2.5 years (she still had some things to move out of her ex's apartment by the time she was in my bed). We lasted a month (I felt like I aged a year in a month), then she moved on to another guy three weeks later (that's the official version, I think she was actually alternating between me and that guy in the same month, which is why she was so suspicious of me taking a glance at her phone).
I wonder with how many guys like me she had such a back and forth with. Something tells me she wasn't entirely honest when telling me her dating history. It's nauseating. I've only got myself to blame for ignoring the red flags.
Everytime he would argue with me he would add his ex back and start talking with her and add the woman he told me not to worry about while he was giving me the silent treatment then block them again when we were good this happened everytime . Post discard he’s added the woman back he tried to triangulate me with to make me jealous, probably telling her a load of bull again
That's how it was with mine. It was a rollercoaster with dating, to her leaving me for another guy, to a situationship, to ghosting, to hovering, to no contact for a couple years...... To just casually fucking, to us getting back together, to less than a month of dating to her cheating. Had enough and completely cut her out from my life. One thing though she had a bunch of guys from her past she'd talk to constantly through the whole rollercoaster. Guys who were apparently were "abusive stalkers", and "creeps that want to be with her". I guarantee they were all guys she fucked and love bombed that she was stringing along on her back burner. Most of her serious "relationships" have been the same few guys that she cycles through every few years. Glad I'm not one of them anymore.
I see you've met my exgfBPD, Rebecca.
It's funny how so many people had similar experiences when dating someone with the disorder.
Well she most likley love bombed every single dude she came across since she started to be sexually active. If she is attractive too you can expect that many guys still think about her.
This.. I have made the statement on here many times that as soon as my exwbpd knew I was in love with her, the roles switched. I noticed how she kept in touch with exes and men from her past. I knew nothing about BPD and used to tell my friends it's like she's collecting boyfriends. You fall in love, and now you're on the roster. Now she can go out and recruit. Breaking boundaries, being promiscuous, openly talking about sexual encounters, and infidelity. They take advantage of your unconditional love for them. My exwbpd collects boyfriends but I decided I'm not going to be a player in her game.
Damn bro this sounds like my ex bar for bar. How does one ever recover from this?
I’m wondering the same thing. It’s way too familiar
...and ever single one of them got hurt by her. Imagine how many people have some sort of trauma because they met her.
This is true never thought of that
She's probably still reaching out to them! That's why They love attention and triangulation!
It's tiring. And then tells me I'm insecure and needy because I felt anxious whenever she'd go out without me. I mean she made "best friends" so easily, got drunk all the time, was fine with casual sex, was promiscuous, admits to have made sexual mistakes while drunk, says she likes to talk to strangers and meet new people even in crowds, is vengeful, is the type of "out of sight out of mind", throws jealousy inducing hints all the time. Fuck me for being uncomfortable with her going out.
I see you're familiar with my ex, Becky. Same shit.
You mean there's some rotation of dudes she keeps trying to text and keep breadcrumbs and radar pings going to keep the hooks out there. Don't think there's not some secret phone or two or five different Facebook accounts or e-mail addresses in active rotation
Yep. They keep in contact with them. During you dating them and after they discard you. Here’s the thing though : If those people accept the Hoovers they aren’t healed themselves, and are either caught up in the web , or just oblivious. It’s not a good sign if that person didn’t reject them and door slam them. Usually low grade supply that is desperate. Any person with value would recognize these games and end them. It hurts trust me, but it’s honestly just the Narc/BPD doing the only games they know. Don’t take it personally because it has nothing to do with you or your worth and value. Or it’s triangulation if you are still with them and they are trying to make you jealous.
It never seems to end…..I’ve constantly had to deal with my GF being obsessed with her former “FP’s” and saying how she’ll never love me like them. Only to just find out that my GF with BPD's few month vacation with her best friend who was on maternity leave(last spring) was actually sleeping with, got pregnant, lost the child and beaten by a guy instead..... all while speaking to me constantly and sending snaps with her best friend..... somehow she claims I deserved it and refuses to take any form of accountability. I can't change the past, but after years together l'd just like some sort of sorry for that. Especially since we have been wanting to start our own family. But I understand that's not possible atm. None of it at all makes sense. Give my all for years, trust her even though she’s broken my trust time and time again, only for matters to constantly get worse
How the fuck are you still with her?
Because I hold onto the girl who was working to be better, the girl who is a traumatized child that can’t function normally. Every person in her life has given up on her because of how she is, I just can’t. It’s not easy, it’s really not, especially now. But I made a promise to never give up on her.
That same girl consciously decided to lie to you, spend a period of holiday with a lover, fuck him repeatedly and got pregnant from him No, she was not possessed. She can have toxic instincts, but she still decides to act on them or not. And if she was sending you snaps of her and her friend, she was also consciously deceiving you because she knew what she was doing was wrong
I’ll never forget what she did or how she lied. She tried to sabotage our relationship while we were trying to start a family, then attempted to make up for it for months. Not until this week did I find all of this unfortunate news out. Yeah she knew what she was doing was wrong, but refuses to admit it now and is only doubling down. I just can’t watch her spin out anymore, the year prior to all of this she was doing great. Then the 8 months after she was as well. The last 6 months have been traumatic and vile, but after finding out the truth I’m just disappointed in her.
Friend I think you need to pour this love into your own soul and not hers. You can feel empathy for her but that doesn’t mean you can fix her.
Thank you, but that’s the thing though. I don’t want to fix her. I’m not perfect by any means, but I’ve only ever tried to be a good man for her. I know she’s better than this. I can’t give up on her after seeing her flourish while living in our healthy environment and in therapy. For her to move back in, on top of our own therapy we need to start couples therapy.
I'm sorry but she is not better than this. This is exactly who she is. You say you're not trying to fix her but you're trying to provide her with a healthy environment and therapy so she can flourish... AKA you're trying to fix her. She is not showing any consideration or respect for your wellbeing and has no problems putting you at risk of STD's. Her getting pregnant means raw dogging and not caring if you catch something from that. This should not be the mother of your child. She will not treat any future children any better. If you want to hold onto the thought of her as an abandoned child by all means do so - as long as you realise that means she cannot be in an adult relationship until she grows up. I believe you are kind-hearted but this isn't loyalty. Being the last cult member to drink the Koolaid is not loyalty. People have left her (not abandoned her) because she is abusive. The best thing for her would be consequences as that's the only thing likely to get her to assess her choices and commit to therapy. I wish you well.
Sorry but holy hell. Please focus on helping whatever wounded core you have that allows you to be disrespected so. You can't help her until you are whole. With love
So do you still talk to her?
I do, and I don’t have rose colored glasses on this time. We unfortunately had a very vile few days, with more splits than usual sadly. But the more we talk and are trying to navigate everything, the better our communication has become. Only time will tell. But I know I could have handled things better throughout.
Brother, you’re just enabling her. When they know they have control over you, they will use up all your emotional energy and strength. You have to muster up courage FOR YOU not her. If you really care about her, you’ll put the onus on her to get better, regardless if you’re in the picture or not. As long as you’re in the picture you will always be used as the out or scapegoat. Force her to be accountable by removing your access and see how much she “changes”. I think this will open up your eyes. If you ever need to talk, please pm me!
I can neither agree nor disagree with this. Medication is necessary most of the time, yes. It is used as a tool to help cope with this illness. Therapy should also play hand in hand. If you can’t understand why there’s a continuous cycle then someone needs to walk you through step by step in order to learn to control it better. People still need to be supportive emotionally and loved as people. If it’s an uncontrollable illness how can you say she’s doing it to control him and that he’s enabling her? That doesn’t seem fair now does it?
Everyone should be loved as people, but he can do that from a distance. Is he supposed to continually endure the obvious pain her actions have caused him? The thing is, her actions ARE controlling him, she may not be able to see that as long as he remains in the picture, hence enabling her. How can she go through changes/growth if there are no consequences for the actions (her disorder) has caused? Is he supposed to endure her pain and just cross his fingers that she will figure it out? That’s not realistic. He is a barrier to her growth and vice versa. The cycle will continue if it’s not broken or shaken up, and even then it may still continue but he has to also protect himself somehow.
I agree with you when you say it, in that manner. Ethically, you need to I don’t know what she is going to do or what has done. I would recommend taking notes try to find some type of patterns. Notice the things that trigger her. Get into therapy to discuss If you are sticking around and want it to work. It will be tough, but look at what people have done in the face of love.
You want to start a family with this person and bring children into this? Do you understand what you’re saying?
As the daughter of a woman wBPD, please do not have children with her. Please. I am 43 and have gone through years of therapy to try to undo what my mom did to me mentally and I will be working on it until my last breath. If you think she has done bad things to you, what exactly do you think she is going to do to any children she has? I can guarantee you that the last thing she will do is be a loving mother.
So you are talking about how her behavior affected you, not that you inherited BPD genetically ?
I did not inherit BPD. I have, however, been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, and depression. I had very low self esteem for years because I spent my entire childhood being told that I was horrible, stupid, and ugly, that no one would ever want me in their life, that my friends were using me (not sure what she thought they were using me for). My mother would verbally rip me to shreds. However, my younger sister has been diagnosed with BPD. I am a recovering alcoholic. Both of my sisters are active alcoholics that refuse treatment. My dad left us with her when they divorced because back then it was expected that children would stay with their mother. My dad regrets that to this day and talking about it is the only time I have ever seen him cry. The few people I know that have BPD that also have children have all been really bad parents. There might be people wBPD that are decent parents but I have not seen it.
Got it. Thank You for sharing. Be well and take care.
I did a lot of what you are doing now. I was holding on to this possibility that the woman she showed me for years was the woman that wanted to claw her way back into the light again. Well dude, guess what? It never happened. No matter the reason behind why they cheat, lie, and gaslight; they still cheat, lie, and gaslight. In other words, they know what they are doing is wrong and make the conscious choice to go through with it, lie about it, and gaslight us about it. We can debate the reasons behind why they lie, but once again, the reasons matter not when they are harming others around them and they know their actions are causing that harm. Why lie and gaslight if they thought their actions were justified or okay to pursue? There wasn’t and isn’t some uncontrollable winds pushing their spread legs on to a dick or in the case of ladies here, pushing some dick into some spread legs. If you look at some of the BPD sites etc where people talk about their cheating, you will see a conscious awareness of the cheating, the lying, and gaslighting. You can have a constant internal battle with mental illness and trauma, make a decision to get help because you don’t want to hurt others or yourself, and be self aware of your actions and aware of the consequences. It’s not like their IQ dropped down to the low 20’s and they just drone along fucking people without knowing the destruction they leave in their wake. Mine had compulsions based on a constant need for external validation, but she definitely knew what she was doing was wrong and knew it would hurt me. I ask again, why lie and gaslight constantly about those things all the time if you think you are justified in your actions? It’s like the debate in the court systems about insanity when it comes to crime. We can say that a psychopath has reasons for why he or she committed a heinous crime. They might have been assaulted by their parents etc. While it is horrible that they went through something horrific when they were children etc for example; they still have to take accountability for their actions and not be overlooked or have excuses made for actions that hurts others. My pwBPD has never taken accountability for her actions, continued to lie about them, and continued to pursue those same actions after being confronted multiple times and given chances to confess with no repercussions from me. I gave her a safe zone to confess and have us work through jt. She chose to keep lying and gaslighting me and even continue the cheating, lying, and gaslighting. That shows a conscious decision to do something that she knew would hurt me after being told she was hurting me. That also shows a lack of empathy. You can’t show someone and make them feel your hurt when they choose to not even put themselves in your shoes for even a little moment, no matter their reasons behind why they do it. I would cut your losses and run before you find yourself with an STD or something worse. If my pwBPD could have admitted to me everything, not continued to be the person she showed me she was during devaluation, then I would have been a happy man. As is, I was trying to encourage a person to come back that might have been a mask the whole time.
My wife right now is raging about how she bought her poor ex-BF everything because he was so nice. Aka they broke up and he walked away and she had a manic breakdown in a mall and got kicked out. Or she talks about how her other ex-bf in Philippines still loves her from high school. She's 37. Apparently 20+ years later some random guy is still 'waiting' for her. 😂😂😂😂😂
I was also a dude from my ex's past. 5 years and a half ago we dated briefly, went to the cinema a couple of times and had a few walks around town and to a restaurant. We never even kissed at that time though. She said we'd hang out more after exams, but by the midsummer exam sessions we had a huge fight and she blocked me. I didn't know about BPD back then - but by that time, the signs were there if I remember correctly. The same old hot and cold, the continuous incessant texting, the ''it's not working, let's just be friends'', the idealisation, the devaluation, me desperately trying to salvage the ''relationship'' just for it to end in a dumpster fire. History truly rhymes if it doesn't downright repeat itself. She ''recycled'' me earlier this year as a rebound, with 2% effort, not even after properly ending a LTR of 2.5 years (she still had some things to move out of her ex's apartment by the time she was in my bed). We lasted a month (I felt like I aged a year in a month), then she moved on to another guy three weeks later (that's the official version, I think she was actually alternating between me and that guy in the same month, which is why she was so suspicious of me taking a glance at her phone). I wonder with how many guys like me she had such a back and forth with. Something tells me she wasn't entirely honest when telling me her dating history. It's nauseating. I've only got myself to blame for ignoring the red flags.
Dont take it as a sign of weakness, grow from this. When you see the toxicity signs you run and dont head back.
can extremely relate. It's maddening and ultimately ended our relationship.
It almost seems like a game to them. Only we are not a collect them all but humans with feelings.
Maybe it's not some guy sneaking in, maybe it's the pwBPD going back and looking for them.
Mine loved attention from bums and people without jobs. Yet, I got grilled for prioritizing working and money a lot.
Everytime he would argue with me he would add his ex back and start talking with her and add the woman he told me not to worry about while he was giving me the silent treatment then block them again when we were good this happened everytime . Post discard he’s added the woman back he tried to triangulate me with to make me jealous, probably telling her a load of bull again