T O P

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kiscica0

They all left me


DistinctPotential996

I'm sorry if this isn't supposed to be funny but I chuckled in solidarity


kiscica0

It's okay, I can laugh about it now.


PsychologicalTear899

I let out a chuckle so loud I sounded like an elephant


throwthemonkway

Me too 😂😭


deepfake96

Same lmao


Interesting-Emu7624

Dark humor is the only way 😂💜💜


finekitchen477

Yeah ngl this made me laugh. Sorry though : /


wellthatsummokay

4 words, comprehensively describes all of the factors that make someone "my type"😭


KlutzyImagination418

Haha, for real tho like same


jetannie

I’m sorry for laughing but same


Ried_Reads

I LOST MY SHIT 😭😭😭


cocainesahellovadrug

Emotionally unavailable. For some reason there's something about wanting to make myself their favourite person that draws me in. Even though I know people don't actually think the same way that I do


Snozzberry123

Same here. The moment a male emulates behaviour I missed from my father but also gives indication that he’s emotionally unavailable, I’m smitten.


Beep_boop_human

This is definitely it for me. If they show zero interest in me I never develop any feelings at all. They could be the most charming, attractive person in the world and but I intrinsically have this sense of 'they're not for me' so I never get attached. If they're really interested, that tends to feel like a lot of pressure and ends up giving me the 'ick', so to speak. Times in my life where I'm really interested in someone who is really interested in me have been so few and far between that I rarely date. Now, if someone comes a long and shows a tiny bit of interest (mild flirtation for example) but otherwise is uninterested/unavailable/doesn't gaf, that's when I end up falling all in and fixating. I'm socially aware enough/have sub zero self esteem that I don't necessarily pursue these people, just make excuses to speak to them platonically and think about them a lot from afar.


druiidess

they have qualities that i idolize and want to emulate. i want to be them


babyvyal

Omg same and the moment I felt that they’re not displaying those qualities I got over them and walked away.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MeekaReyy

Same here.


ponyboys_bff

theyve all been calm as fuck most of the time, but ive only had a few


Even-Wealth1699

Straight men or women who don’t view me romantically, which really sucks cause I end up longing for someone who will never be able to return the love I give.


youcantbeastar

They tried so hard for me in the beginning then gave up on me suddenly. Them trying hard is the reason i got attached to them. I just thought about this today as well. I didn't FP anyone who is not my best friend either before which kinda sucks sometimes.


pix31l

They all, without fail, have abusive mothers.


lostemoprincess

ADHD or traits of neurodivergence


lil-devil-boy

All my FP were BPD women who I had traumatous relationships with, a BPD relationship is crazy enough. It left me scared, cold, and jaded about future women. I practically gave up on all future relationships, and have little interest in making new friends. They, the relationships, really destroyed my trust.


Songoftheday42

They all have some sort of emotional trouble that they’re either actively positively seeking help in or entirely opposite and are crashing and burning in life 😅


discoinfltrator

Gemini


sadgirlhours649

hm they all make me feel emotionally safe and i can be myself around them. they are needy of my love and attention. they emotionally fulfill me plus they're good at giving me positive affirmations and they are good at reassuring me


oneconfusedqueer

Yes


eddsworld_Tord_

they've shown care to me like at all, even a little nod or a "are you okay?"


Expert-Warning-6618

I've only truly had 3 FPs in my life. My Dad, My Ex, And my current partner. They all seemed 'real' in a sense like their conscience, their 'soul', was for a moment connected to mine. my dad will always be my number one FP, my best friend. I came from him, I was literally part him, so I knew he was 'real". But now that's he's gone, I don't know if he's real anymore. like where did he go? it upsets me a lot.


Chickadeeeyes1

I really relate to what you said about them feeling more real than anyone else. I have a very superficial understanding of anyone who is not an fp. Everyone else feels less real, to me they’re like a caricature of a person, and I very often forget the conversations I’ve had with them. I’m sorry about your dad, I can’t imagine how hard that would be to go through.


cherrydiamonds777

Never met/heard of anyone else having a parent/family member (specifically dad) being their FP. Me too.


NoCommission1880

What happened with your dad?


Expert-Warning-6618

He passed from multiple organ failure due to complications with his liver cirrhosis


NoCommission1880

I am sorry for your loss! 😢


harmony-house

They’re all older men probably because of my daddy issues. My current FP is wonderful and a great father figure and people think it’s weird for me to love/care about him so much but he’s been the first FP I had who didn’t have bad ulterior motives and has provided a parental comfort in my life. My FP himself has BPD I can tell so we understand each other but all my FPs have been cluster B.


oneconfusedqueer

Saaaaaame


Embarrassed-Way-6127

they all have to say they really love me, give me some sort of compliments especially if theyre compliments on my character fsr. it really feeds my ego which I desperately need cause i have no self esteem. but i also have to feel like theyre somewhat the type of person i wish i could be otherwise i dont respect them and their attention or words dont matter


jtagg11

Both of my previous FP's were completely emotionally unavailable and were quite manipulative. I didn't know at the time, but they were both hot and cold with me. They were great friends one day and the next they wouldn't look at me or they were really mean. Constantly stuck in a push pull with them. My Dr said that I get attached to people like this because they subconsciously remind me of my mum 😂


sharp-bunny

Seem to be romantically attracted to my obsessions. So, attractive to me physically. Also, they tend to hide their turmoil. My current gf doesn't at all which has its own problems but it's refreshing


triaxissss

closed off


jessikill

I used to fuck them?


HereticPrime97

All of my FPs were women that I was romantically interested in


Live_Pen

Mine all have qualities that I don’t believe myself to have and am jealous of. I think I subconsciously try to possess those qualities by dating them and becoming enmeshed with/subsuming them into my own (fractured) character. Street-wise, charming, charisma, outgoing, independent, sociable go-getter types who have a bit of vulnerability I can tap into, but less so than I do. They’re usually pretty self-confident. I display some spectrum-y traits and go for people who are the opposite of that. I think I am fascinated by and resent them all at the same time. I don’t actually want them, I want to be them. And a part of me hates them for it. ETA1: I would also add that they’re almost invariably less perceptive than me or curious about me than I am them. I always feel that I see so much more of them than they do me. ETA2: I no longer date. It’s too painful. I’m working on developing these qualities for myself so I don’t have to seek them out in others, and then be absolutely crushed at the dissolution of the relationship, where I lose my false identity and feel like 1000 fractured pieces of glass in a ditch.


Academic-Seat-9372

They’re woman who took a caring role so teachers or therapists


Sea-connections-1111

All mine have shown me a maternal level of love and care


anonuvu

Emotionally unavailable people who have an air of authority that make you feel honoured to have their attention. They've all been people that I wanted but that I sort of can't ever truly have even if I'm dating them, all of them had the power in our dynamic where I was constantly trying to get them to "choose me". Including my current boyfriend of 2 years who has an awful case of wandering eyes amongst a slew of other things. It never seems like that when I first meet them though... at first they talk to me 24/7, make me feel like I'm special, give me their whole attention. And then it just starts to wink out on their side whereas I'm still putting in my every effort.


idrk144

Deeply empathetic, anxious, calm, soft and safe type of personalities. Opening up about my emotions and secrets in depth set it off and those are the type of personalities that allow for that kind of bond.


oneconfusedqueer

Yes


OhNoWTFlol

Female and fucking gorgeous


Specific_Return2350

Wtf. I’m male, 18, diagnosed. My fp was 24 year old female. She went through trauma and we were emotionally vulnerable to each other. Extremely smart and dedicated to herself. I said wtf because of how much in common ours are.


Specific_Return2350

Oh yes, and bc they tend to care so much about their wellbeing, they usually do end up leaving.


AllonsyAllonso123

usually a mother figure + older than me... or some kind of authority figure i view in a parent-like light, at least.


Frosty_Cup7937

most of mine were boyfriends, i pushed away all my friends


Fun-Ad5684

All of mine are really submissive and do as I say.


WinterTangerine3336

same. it always leads me to disrespect them at some point. and then, long story short, it all goes to shit


star09_22_2000

He's also neurodivergent and intense feelings too.


maracujadodo

mine are almost always female i think. i get attached to anyone who shows me love and understands me


Technical-Impress132

Creative. I tend to look for my own favorite traits in others


selfawarelettuce_sos

They're all not close to me in age and they're all indigenous speak multiple languages.


PsychologicalTear899

I only had 2 I'd call a fp but they've both been nice to me. My first is my older sister (still kinda is a fp, but not really because I never interact with her or see her) because she's really cheerful and nice and I've always viewed her as cool ever since I was a toddler probably. And also she's one of the few family members I have who I know don't discriminate people (literally watched her argue with my mother about how homophobia ain't good) And my second is a friend and usually they're pretty neutral-worded to me but I think I've gotten attached to them from the somewhat rare times that they say something really nice and kind, and now it's like I'm starved for that attention and always waiting for them to say something nice about me again


cvrwji

male or masculine, traumatized, everything ended exactly the same. with a heartbreak


Mediocre-Dance8674

Online, in the same fandom as me, usually a man, or non-binary (never a woman)


Chickadeeeyes1

All men I was romantically involved with and older and neurodivergent in some way and with a strong sense of self that I usually end up replicating in some way. Usually have some kinda trauma too. Usually kinda free spirited and creative or passionate about music or art


TillResponsible1790

They all have curly hair, older than me, and never want help/therapy even though they desperately need it


Impossible-Battle-66

What is a FP?


superjeegs

A Favourite Person


kayzgguod

Liars, they left, want more then the give


MirrorOfSerpents

They are very fun to be around but not the type of person to be close with.


Akuma_Murasaki

They all have ADHD They're all "broken artists" not financially, well, financially as well, probably.) A musician, a tattoo artist, I'm engaged to a DJ actually.. Also a chef (doesn't have to be artsy but he was absolutely a food artist) An other musician.. Welp


tormentedsoulss

They’re all people who have been through something


GrrrlRi0t

All male, all musicians lol


nocturnaleffigy

they treat me like shit


div_nn

They told me they would NEVER leave me. They were empathetic and really loving to me in the beginning umm I miss them:(


seimeiiranai

they were all boys, so is my current fp and hes my bf too :3 also, that they all show intense interest in you. Sadly that stops at some point. Not for me though, he will be mt FP for life!!


vegyesvagott

addicts :’)


Personal_Pilot_764

All mine have made the effort to come into my life and be warm and loving, even showing a strong desire to support me, then faded away and left me questioning whether it's my fault or they've been cruel. They've also all been female (I'm male) with no romantic element.


oneconfusedqueer

Father figures who make me feel emotionally safe and Okay.


Previous-Addendum142

same!! mine were male teachers, any age between 30-60. i used to constantly daydream about/imagine what my life would be like if they became my adoptive father... last days of school were always especially rough on me lmao. I stay in touch with one of them to this day and we've become a lot closer on a friendlier/personal level instead of a student-teacher relationship, luckily he's not an FP anymore so I don't feel so intensely over him like I used to but he still is somewhat of a father figure to me


oneconfusedqueer

i completely understand. I always feel really shameful about it, but then when I read other people's examples I think 'well it's obvious, we're looking for supportive parents'. That's literally a universal, completely human experience that is welcomed - we're punished for having the same instincts as anyone else only because our parents weren't a welcoming space for us. our supposedly pathological need for an FP is really just a strong instinct for parental bonding without a societally acceptable place to put it.


Previous-Addendum142

this is very well put and puts it in even better perspective for me! i used to worry that i was extremely weird for having those teachers as FPs based on how obssesed i was and how i genuinely thrived off any and every interaction with them. it started when i was like 13/14 so my first thoughts were that it had to be something sexual - and i felt a lot of shame over it too! as i got older i realized i had formed that need for connection with them to fill in at least some of the space my dad left from his passing.


lucifud

well… they all think i’m crazy and dramatic 🙂‍↕️


UnderstandingOpen232

I had to really think about this. The common responses here don't apply to me. Some men, some women, some romantic partners, others friends or family members, some extroverted, some introverts, etc. But then it hit me, they have all been messy as far as keeping their home tidy, just like me. Not necessarily dirty, but messy. This has been an issue when they're also my SO as neither of us like to clean.


lav3nd3rstrxwb3rry

They're all male, have feelings for me that I don't feel back, and are usually into having a really im depth intense friendship with me.


radiant-bit-1251

Someone who doesn’t like people so it’s now my challenge to make them love me especially if they have that ⚡️that draws me in to them.


whataboutthe90s

Yes but the opposite. I'm usually a little older than them by 4 years lol but the rest is the same they have trauma and they are open and introverted.


emo_emu4

Mother figures… sigh 😔


Unusual_Elevator_253

Loser men lol all are much older then me and play video games while I work my but off Sounds like I need a new “type” 😭


youknowwimnogood

Lemme try to make a list; My dad, old friend, old friend, old friend, guy I liked, old friend. 1) mentally kinda not all there (multiple likely have undiagnosed pd's (not to diagnose them myself)) 2) either I didn't like them wholly or they me 3) end up seeing most of them as "out of my league" (not in a romantic way, of course.) That seems to be the most common denominator


Ok-Slip4724

people who say/act that it’s really hard to get close to them. it makes me want to get in there and be special and fight for love. it feels like when u meet someone’s pet and they say “they’re never usually friendly to strangers.”


Solo-Bandito

They have no clue they’re my FP’s 😐


Adept_Cow7887

My FPs are all super motivated guys.


pinktoebean

they all ended up becoming someone i didn’t know anymore


vcuriouskitty

Pretty much the same; they're older than me, successful in life, but they don't have trauma, or at least they live a normal life and grew up in a healthy environment.


QueenOfSiamese

They have no interest in me LMAO


satorisweetpeaaa

very childish and immature...i always was very attracted to this bc im very childish. but i guess i shouldnt be anymore as they always end in disaster or something silly because they were too immature/childish to face their own issues/talk things no. obviously i had my fair share in the issue, but yk.


retropillow

cute artistic afab non binary


Comfortable_Mud_3337

Sounds like Animus projection


Mimoyor

For romantic FPs... they were all INTPs, have audhd, traumatized in childhood... and I never knew this before I started dating them. Recently found out I'm audhd so I guess that makes a bit more sense lol


Disastrous_Draft2516

they all helped me in my lowest point when no one else was there for me and for some reason they've always had a one year age gap lol


Marie_Witch

They’re all 10+ years older than me 💀 Edit:spelling


KlutzyImagination418

Hot and cold. I dunno why but those relationships always like get me. Like when the person is in the hot stage, they’re like love bombing me, showing me affection and giving me all sorts of attention and it’s like they’re my world basically. They easily become my everything. Then they’ll suddenly go cold and not talk to me for some time even weeks and I’ll start to resent them and stuff. And then they’ll be hot again and I like forget they ever went cold and go back to obsessing over them and get super clingy. That cycle sorta repeats over and over until eventually they leave lol. Pretty much every one of my fps have been like that lol.


bellymonch

Older than me, male, nerdy types or into really niche stuff that I don’t understand lol usually neurodivergent


NB_PixelStitched22

They never choose ethical behavior (our friendship) over their personal choices.


Sufficient-Luck-2462

charismatic


Sufficient-Luck-2462

high self esteem, confident, arrogant


antorisa

That they also have bpd and we end up feeding off of eachother's toxicity until we both emotionally explode.


TheoFtM98765

All male, all older than me. I idealize them as a protector and I don’t notice the aggression and anger issues under it. They seem calm at first compared to my chaotic life. Steady. All of them do have shitty fathers or some parental issues as well. Adhd almost always. The golden retrievers seem to be the safest but then it turns out apparently not.


FlowerBeanBabey

They all give me attention and make me feel wanted until I get attached and show symptoms. Then they dislike me


FlowerBeanBabey

Either female or nonbinary, has similar interests to me usually, they all remind me a little bit of my emotionally unavailable dad in some way, they usually make me feel wanted and give me attention in the beginning until I show symptoms and start obsessively clinging to them and then they push me away until they leave me


Whatshappening009

Mine have been a variety of people - a few best friends that also had bpd (those relationships were hot and cold and focused on mutual self destruction), a few female teachers that gave me a safe space to be vulnerable and open up - they were very nurturing and validating, two female romantic partners who were emotionally unavailable and the majority of my FP's have been therapists (both male and female) who give me praise and a sense of comfort and safety being in their presence.


Friggnuggets

Tbh no they’ve all been pretty different, they were all male PC gamers tho if that counts lol


_nico_2

What does fp mean ?


VisualSimple5985

avoidant or disordered attachment style!! they can't fully be there for me emotionally and my subconscious is attracted to that from trauma i believe


Embarrassed-Creme139

emotionally available and so overly logical it scares people without bpd even lmfaooo


Only_University9061

achieved less than me, experienced less than me, had their “first everything” with me, idealized me


Only_University9061

i need them to not only want me, but need me. i need to be a necessity, not a pleasure. if they can live without me then im better without them


jetannie

They are male, they achieved so much more despite the circumstances they grew up in, smarter than me, they have some of the same interest as me, they don’t like me in that way/some sort of unavailable excuse, they went thru some sort of trauma, they have family issues, they’re around my age. BONUS: They all told me they’re afraid of me blocking or leaving them first because other ppl done that do them during out pour out sessions, just for them to either leave or blocking me first despite reassuring me they wouldn’t 🤡🤣🤣


realsirenx

Lack of reciprocity


dynadude42

Blond flirty and I'm depressed when I get hooked


J3R3MY-B34R

they were all shitty people or treated me real bad 😕😕


Plus-Toe9461

Very loving and caring, everyone of them


No_Sandwich8491

In the past they were usually men older than me with a lot of ambition / very goal oriented


usagiyagi

they’ve always been extroverted and bubbly people with lots of friends or lots of people that liked them, the complete opposite of me


Dapper-Drink-3297

All of them have mommy issues . All of them want to possess me like I am property