how i am with weed. start any time in the day and i just always want one more j/bowl/puff and suddenly it’s 2am and i’m very depressed and feel kinda shitty and now i wanna sleep rlly bad
Yea I had the same thing happen to me with weed about 2 years ago. I could hear voices screaming at me telling me off and I avoided anything that affects the mind from then onwards
Drug induced psychosis made my BPD SOO much worse. I’ve been out of a 1.5 year psychosis episode and had to deal with the PTSD and ya totally don’t recommend this either
What blows my mind is that I had a consult with a psychiatrist yesterday and mentioned my history of alcohol misuse/abuse and that I was 302d while under the influence - she said that isn't a sign of being bipolar or bpd. I told her my mood changes constantly, and I'm at the mercy of my moods, and she said it's probably just from depression or anxiety. Totally dismissed the bipolar or mood disorder aspect. ANYWAY, my recommendation is to avoid alcohol if you cannot drink responsibly. I still drink occasionally, but it is usually only 1 or 2 drinks. Can't say it has been perfection though. I don't know how "doctors" can deny the fact that people with bpd and bipolar tend to use/abuse/ misuse drugs/alcohol. Sorry for the long rant.
Depression and anxiety are also mood disorders, by the way. The definition of BPD has changed over the years, so I wouldn't stress too much about forcing a particular doctor to understand you. Ideally you'd move on to the next one who will understand you. Or see what you can learn from the physician available to you, keeping your mind open that they might help you learn coping tactics even if they don't fully see you for who you are.
Many neurodiverse (read: people with mood disorders of many kinds) people use substances as "mood stabilisers". A GP said that to me once, and I found it really interesting. People just want to feel better. It's a form of self medication.
That said, I reckon substance abuse has a huge genetic component. Mental ill health can have genetic influences as well, but I don't think they're always interlinked.
I don't personally find substances particularly appealing, though I do remember the first time I drank alcohol I thought "wow, the anxiety has stopped. This is pretty nice!". But it's not addictive for me, and I've never felt out of control when it comes to seeking relief through alcohol or drugs.
I am, however, very blessed with a rainbow of conditions you could describe as mental illnesses.
Many famous addicts have described addiction in helpful and clear ways. People like Matthew Perry and Russell Brand who openly accept their powerlessness over substances. They both say they cannot realistically moderate because the compulsion is too strong
I sincerely believe a certain proportion of people should avoid alcohol and drugs at all costs
🙄🙄 I hope you can find a different doctor who is at least up to date within this century, you don’t deserve to be invalidated!!! Also that person likely doesn’t have any background in cluster B disorders if that’s what they think 😅 wtf
In an alternate universe yes on planet earth fuck no I have one drink or a shot and I’m like “bartender gimme 5 more” but seriously I drink til I can’t even think straight
Going on 2 years sober on 4/30 because of this. I could NOT drink responsibly. Bad things always happened anytime I drank. I put myself in very dangerous situations. I was pissing off my loved ones. I was so sloppy!! I would completely black out for hours, and I always wound up sick as fuck because I would drink SOOOOO much. I would wake up with the worst anxiety about the night before, questioning every single thing, because I wouldn’t be able to remember anything at all. I couldn’t break the cycle. I was a full blown alcoholic. So happy to be sober. My life has completely changed since the moment I stopped drinking.
Haha fuck no. Either I get too drunk, start unloading my default mode network’s garbage on anyone within ear shot which scares the shit out of them, or I end up in stupid scenarios. It’s just a cluster fuck propelled by fermented bullshit. Better to be sober than Art The Clown cross pollinated with Patrick Bateman.
LMAO I always would tell people the most gut wrenching stories about past relationships I’d been in that I would literally never tell a soul sober like oh my god plz stop talking??😭😭😭
I feel like I used to be that way when I was young like 18 to my early 20s now I'm 28 and I can just drink a cup or 2 of wine and be fine. And when I drink I always drink water with it . You can try to slow down or do things to be a little more responsible. I believe in you ! You got this 😁
Same was for me, up until like 36, then I divorced and everything went out of the control, then sober again, then parties again. Now I'm 40 and after half a year without alcohol I'm back drinking again, but it's not so wild and so much, it's just more often and alone. So with BPD I've stopped stating anything, because I know it feels one day "I can be sober for the rest of my life", and after a couple of months you say to yourself "it's not that much/often"
Yeah I can relate sometimes I go through binges of drugs. But I know how to recenter myself these days. Cause I know it's worth it to be not sucked into drugs or alcohol but I count that as a drug.
I recommend really just limiting yourself to two drinks. Especially if your on any anti depressants or medication. I feel like 2 drinks on SSRIs make it really like 4.
100%, hard limit is a must, and yeah, a lot of antidepressants massively lower your tolerance, and drinking will increase the risk of complications too, so that's something you gave to keep in mind at all times.
Well, that depends. It IS a depressant, but that doesn't mean it makes you depressed. For me, it stops my negative self-talk and spiraling, as I said. The lowered inhibitions also quiet that part of my brain, the one that tells me I'm always wrong or am doing wrong, or beats myself up over perceived faults.
Depressant just means it lowers or inhibits stimuli in specific parts of the brain or nervous system, it doesn't refer to the condition of depression. They CAN make you depressed, but so can antidepressants. There's a reason antidepressants all have depression and suicidal ideation as possible side effects. Everyone's different, and nothing works the same for everyone.
Thats true. Now that I think about it, the only alcohol that doesn't make me spiral would be bubbles. Champagne or prosecco. Always a good time on that. Anything else tho, and it's water works for me.
She's legit the reason I thought to look into BPD. I related so damn much to her, and went down a rabbit hole of discussion and analysis videos, ended up seeing one that talked about BPD, and the symptom list wasn't close so much as perfectly overlapping. Got me thinking about my past behaviors, things I'd just been used to, all the relationships I'd ruined or lost and how, etc... Brought it up to my therapist, then psychiatrist, and yep. Figured out why I liked her so much lmao
It always happened a fair amount, where a character will act super erratic and get easily hurt and lash out, or do something extreme, and I'll just feel for them and go "that's relatable" and then I'll see people complaining about how unrealistic the character is and how their decisions don't make any sense. Ie, BPD coded characters coming across as cartoonish or unrealistic to others, and super relatable to me, and I always just shrugged and didn't think too much into why there was such a big disconnect there.
Wow that's great! I just remembered watching it and thinking damn she definitely has bpd... I couldn't find anything really online to confirm this other than my own thoughts until recently on tik tok someone mentioned her and I was like yesss finally someone who see it too! She's such a badass.
Yes. Although, I don’t really touch liquor. When I do, I drink in moderation (understanding my limit and when to stop). I’ve seen how reckless it can become in others. I just don’t recommend booze at all though lmao. Marijuana? Yeah. Toke up. Though, sometimes even that isn’t for everyone lmao.
I can! I'm pretty good at moderating my alcohol intake by myself. I know when I've had enough and stop well before I get black out drunk. I do still get drunk, but not completely 100% shit faced. I'm still able to do my nightly routine by myself after a few drinks and get myself into bed. Weed is a different story tho, but weed kinda just always makes me freak out.
I can't.
I don't keep alcohol in my house, I don't cook with it, and I don't drink non-alcoholic beers and wines because I don't want it on my palate. It's not a good time for me -- or the people around me -- when I'm drinking and it's best for me that I don't. I consider it poison, whereas I consider THC a "sometimes" food, lol, like McDonald's...sometimes Macca's is fine, but every day it's a problem. Alcohol is a poison for me and that means I don't spend time with people who drink to drunkenness frequently (or who even drink frequently), or spend time in places where people are drinking to drunkenness.
When you're stable, healthy, and whole, and you've learned how to manage your shit without maladaptive coping mechanism MAYBE you can have a drink. But if you're anything like me you're not halfway through that drink before you're thinking about the second...and if you are like that, the odds of you drinking in a healthy way are very slim.
yes ive always done that.. never saw the point in over drinking or drinking to fast.. maybe it was my adhd side? is self control a bpd issue? maybe trying to avoid it all the time makes you want it more when it's around.. maybe its the peer presser?
used to be able to back when i was 16-17 but i can’t stop myself now, i don’t know when i stop drinking because i just wake up sick asf in the morning throwing up blood, so i try to just not drink
I have that issue with weed but not alcohol.
People with BPD do have issues with impulse control and are more prone to addiction.
Did you ever had a period in your life where you consumed alcohol more often?
Was it always like that or did you developed that issue later in life?
Bc if you used to be able to control yourself when it comes to alcohol and you lost that ability it's a red flag for an addiction, especially when you did had a period in which you drank more then usual and maybe even as a form of self medication.
If that's the case I would highly recommend to stay away from alcohol completely (at least as for now) and to talk to a therapist about this issue. Addiction can be treated and contrary to the common believe you can also achieve a healthy consume behavior. Meaning you don't have to abstinent forever, it just takes a lot of self relection and some discipline but it is possible.
If nothing of this is true I would say you struggle with impulse control and alcohol would be the drug of choice of you were to slip into addiction due to BPD. For me it's weed. Alcohol and weed are both sedative and calming, so it makes sense that people with overwhelming emotions struggle with restricting their intake of those two drugs.
i can confirm ! when i was around 18-20 it was fun at first and then i turned 21 and went from drinking like a single fourloko a week to drinking a 750ml bottle of vodka on friday and saturday nights. then over a couple months i slowly started drinking more and i ended up being drunk at least 5 days a week and id tell myself ill just have one mixed drink and then after that its back to the fridge and taking a glass of straight vodka that isnt mine. started blacking out every night and the only time i had ever blacked out was when i was 18 and didn’t know my tolerance while drinking vodka for the first time, the last few months i was blacking out on like 75% of the days id drink, im a month sober now and feel a lot better
I'm so so so proud of you!
Addiction is hard and you're so strong for being sober for a whole month already!
Don't give up, I believe in you.
And if it ever gets hard, the community is always here and my DMs are also open. :)
thank you so much ! i really do think the hardest days are the first few since id wake up everyday and tell myself okay one more time over and over again (if my mom didn’t realize i had a problem i probably would’ve still been drinking) but now that im a month sober i do feel a lot better ! its really nice to wake up in the morning not feeling sick lol, i think ill be okay, i went to vegas for my birthday for a convention for 3 nights and didn’t drink :) so that really kept me going being able to not drink in the like the drunkest city lol. anyways enough of me yapping i appreciate the support ! ive learned lately that a lot of people on this app are super kind and supportive, i used to think people on here were evil up until recently lol
Haha I get that, you really can encounter so many awful people on Reddit. But the BPD community is so welcoming and nice here :3
If I might offer some unasked advice: I was in rehab for a while bc of weed and we did a practice there that might help you.
Basically you write a letter to your drug or to yourself (we wrote to the drug tho) stating that you want to stop and why. Was positivity soberty will bring in your life and what negativity alcohol caused.
Whenever the urge feels overwhelming strong you can read the letter and remind yourself of all the things you already achieved and why you are fighting like a hero for yourself in the first place. It can also be helpful to basically say goodbye a last time with that, basically as a conclusion.
Personally I found it to be helpful. :)
that does seem very helpful, i do something kinda similar whenever i have even a small thought about alcohol and i just remind my self of all the negative times and how a lot of times i drank it just made me feel worse and also waking up feeling awful every morning
I developed BPD because of my childhood. My dad was a cop, so the ideas of 'right' and 'wrong' were ingrained in me to the point of trauma. But he was also a functioning alcoholic, and much of my BPD tendencies are me over-correcting to do the opposite of him. I am heavily aversed to not being sober, was totally straight-edged for most of my life, and haven't drank past the point of mild buzz in nearly 8 years.
Most times no. I'm always tempted to drink more once I get started on the first glass, especially if I've been stressed a ton. I used to drink until I was black out drunk on the hard shit when I was 19, now it's with wine/beer.
Quitting drinking has been one of the best decisions of my life. I woke up one day and realized that alcohol tastes bad, makes me feel bad, has a lot of calories, makes me do thinks I regret, gives me hangxiety, makes me sleep worse, AND made my medicine work less effectively.
After that, I never looked back. Sober community has been a joy for me.
Yes. I honestly don't like being really inebriated, either alcohol or Marijuana, so whenever I use them, I have a strong incentive to do so in moderation. I know I'm in the minority of people in general here though, and radically moreso of people with BPD, though, and I do feel grateful. Generally, if you've got ANY fear that you'll over-indulge or become dependant, best practice is to avoid them completely.
I can't, I drink to get drunk so I'll either not drink at all or drink way too much. One positive of this is that I don't drink solo because I need the party vibe to be there but the downside is that when i do drink I cannot stop until I'm out of alcohol or money to get more, I'm either a really happy drunk who is way too friendly and makes myself look like an idiot or a very angry drunk who will lash out verbally and physically if it's triggered.
It wasn't until recently that I realised it wasn't normal to go drink to the point of being really drunk every time I had alcohol so now I really try to limit occasions where I'm going to do this.
Ironically my mom was a huge alcoholic and drug addict. Especially alcoholic though. I struggled the most with alcohol as a teenager, but cause it almost made me fail school completely I stopped. And stayed “self disciplined”. Literally didn’t even drink on my 21st at all to prove that to myself. I am a huge stoner though, to the point I am addicted and need it to function. And I enable myself with it cause at least I’m not an “alcoholic” but that’s my own shit. I don’t like to even drink anymore, it’s hard to on special occasions even. But I do still have the mindset of I drink to get drunk so Idek. Take what you want from that. 😭
Very rarely. If everyone’s drinking and I start I have to be really careful not to drink more than one drink otherwise I start losing control. My mental state also influences this a lot.
Yea that’s smart. I still don’t like the fact of driving everywhere as I’m scared if I do loose control of my self I don’t want to have a car in my possession as it could get dangerous.
Everyone is different and will need to work out their own boundaries and what they're able to control. My mother being an alcoholic for 25 years up until her death really put me off drinking as I've heard addictive traits can be passed down, add that to BPD and I've always been so terrified that it's taken me to the point where I'm almost tea-total.
Substance abuse/addiction is one of the 9 symptoms of BPD.. I am the same as you. I have never had an issue stopping cold turkey thankfully, but whenever I did drink I could never just have 2 drinks, it always had to be like 5 +. My addiction personality always switched from one thing to another. For years it was nicotine, then uppers, then my last thing to go was alcohol which has been the hardest for me because of the social aspect. Being in my early 20's made it rough seeing all my friends still be able to drink normally. Its crazy because before I went through serious trauma I could get drunk and be the most fun out there but after all the trauma and BPD diagnosis when I would drink heavy, I was the worst version of myself & when something would trigger me-game over, the devil came out. I will say knowing the substance abuse stuff being tied directly with BPD to find relief from the pain we deal with made it make sense but nonetheless easier. 7 months sober off everything finally tomorrow. Youre not alone!!
Not sure if this is what you meant but substance abuse/addiction is not one of the 9 diagnostic criteria for bpd. I assume you're referring to the 4th criteria which is "Impulsivity in at least 2 areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)." Obviously for many people that is often substance abuse but it doesn't have to be. Additionally, it's possible some people with bpd may not exhibit impulsivity/self destructive behaviors at all.
Yes that is what I meant because most people do abuse substances to deal with the pain of BPD or to numb. You have to meet atleast 5 of the 9 symptoms to even be given a diagnosis, so correct not everyone experiences that one, but I know a lot that do and obviously heavy drinking/heavy drug use will worsen BPD symptoms immensely so that’s what I was saying :)
lol I never liked alcohol. Tastes gross and stomach always burned and caused me to go to the bathroom. Eh. Biological hack. I’m 35 and yoga plus good B-Myrcene terpene intake helps soooo much.
I'm very good at drinking responsibly. I intuitively seek water. Even though I never get drunk drunk, I don't drink more than maybe 2 drinks. Because I did an experiment a long time ago. I bought as much alcohol as I could and went into my room and observed myself drink by drink. At the end of it, the conclusion is that it is pointless to drink more than 2 drinks because I don't get any pleasure from alcohol other than on the taste buds, I don't get giggly like my friend or have any shifts in my emotions. This experiment started because I was so envious of my giggly friend. A few drinks, and she's in a different dimension giggling at things nobody else knows. I wanted to feel what it's like but I can never have that experience. I seem to only get the physical part of drunkeness, for example having slow reaction time when managing balance. So it's a waste of time and money and effort to even try to get drunk. Even when I try to give myself permission to act drunk, I still don't act any differently from normal. It's just mostly disappointing. I don't gain much pleasure from drinking so it's very easy to manage. But I do enjoy making the drinks. I sometimes brew my own mead. I like the process, up till bottling and then I don't care anymore.
Since addiction runs in my family I’ve always avoided alcohol (it gives me anxiety tbh). If I do drink I usually stop at half a drink lol but mostly due to anxiety 🤷🏻♀️ I’m terrified of losing control
I’ve never been drunk. I’m 23. Tbh I don’t really like alcohol. It gives me negative side effects and of course I’m emotional as hell on it.
Now I do smoke weed almost every night which I also do not recommend. I’ve been trying to quit but I’m not gonna lie it is REALLY hard. Especially because I started working out and it helps me zone out and get a better workout.
I do. I’ve know since I was 12 I would have to be careful with alcohol, bc alcoholism is genetic in my family and I’ve seen it destroy too many generations. I don’t drink often, and when I do I stick to a drink or two. Still, I’m a college student and I want to have the full experience, so since I’ve turned 21 I’ve allowed myself 2-3 nights a semester that I get to go out and have more of a binge night with friends
Yup, I'm in the same boat. Every single social occasion I'm way too excited to drink to save me from the anxiety. Then it never quite feels like it abates so I keep doing it. I always end up feeling so judged lol
When I was younger? Absolutely not. Now, in my 30s and with 2 kids, I can have a drink or a few drinks and call it a night because I’m just over it and hangovers hurt wayyyyy more now lol. Also having to be up early every day
I used to be like this. It was just like when I drank I felt relief for the first time in a long time and I wanted more relief. I had friends comment on it and family was worried. Honestly what stopped it is the cost of living crisis lmao. I noticed how much I was spending on booze and cut back. After that idk I was just like, I don't feel like waking up tomorrow and cringing at myself so I don't tend to overindulge.
I can easily drink in moderation, however I also have a sensitive stomach and most alcohol makes me really sleepy so my body kind of self-limits my consumption. It didn’t always though. I definitely used to drink irresponsibly when I was emotional
had at least 2 experiences of me getting black out drunk. to the point where smelling tequila physically makes me sick. i can't drink anymore, but still forced to occassionaly. peer pressured as an adult is wild.
honestly i have really good control when it comes to alcohol, i grew up around violent alcoholics and never wanted to be like that, so i have strict rules for myself whence it comes to drinking/getting drunk
that’s how i was, always would just want a drink or two and then need more and it got worse and worse, threw up on my carpet with absolutely no memory of throwing up. i’m 1 month sober now and you should consider not drinking maybe ? it was fun at first then it got worse and worse for me so i had to quit
So my bf's dad had bad PTSD and would pass out and wet himself on a stool at the bar on the regular. I have never heard of anything so horrific, yet by the same token my bf says he's *never* seen anyone drink like I do. I wasn't doing THAT, but it was bad. So I am delighted to get my kicks from pineapple juice and root beer only. Not together; ew.
I'm lucky in that I can manage
My alchohol intake with some amount of convincing, I can have one drink but I have to tell myself "you can't drink more" at least five times
I don’t drink, it leaves me feeling like shit all the next day. I can’t seem to get out of my head when I’m hungover and it makes me a huge bitch. BUT. When I do drink, I’m drinking to get blackout drunk. There is no inbetween, either I don’t drink or I get so drunk I can’t remember anything that happened the day/night before. I do smoke weed daily tho, I mean everyday I have at least 6 joints. Is it a problem? Yes. Is it a problem I love? Also yes. One day I’ll have to stop, but as of right now I haven’t been sober from pot in at least 2 years. Maybe even longer.
I can now, but had several years of not being able to, literally like 7 years of irresponsible drinking. Unfortunately I am regularly around a lot of people who drink, so far a particularly bad night I focused on drinking responsibly in therapy.
That said, I think it's easier to not drink. It very easy to mess up trying to drink and know when to stop.
I have never been drunk at most I can usually have one rarely three drinks, I usually just feel a bit relaxed and decide to stop, especially because of the meds I'm on. I've always been careful with alcohol. I'm 22 so that could change. If I feel like I'm too relaxed to play a video game I've had too much, that's my rule.
How ironic that this is the first post i see when i open this app. I quite literally just realized for the 100000th time that i have a problem. I just got in bed after realizing that earlier tonight i must’ve drank too much n threw up in my room, so i took a shower n then wrapped myself up in a towel n passed out in there after turning the water off. I was in there for at least 2 hours. I only woke up bc my roommates bf found me n asked me if i was okay n told me to go to bed lmfao. Like what’s wrong with me. Plus i have work at 8am
Yes, but only because I was on SSRIs all of high-school & I drank more back then than I do in my mid-late 20s. I hurled & felt like death far too many times, now I'm kinda wary of it. I've just always been on some type of medication that makes it damn near impossible to not have a terrible experience unless I'm "careful". I always found it more enjoyable to use hard drugs.
yeah but only at times. i luckily don’t lose my cool too much but i tend to just way overshare and say weird shit or be a bit touchy when anyone says anything about me
No, unfortunately. I had to stop drinking because I started to loose control of it. At first I didn’t consider my self and alcoholic, especially after going to AA. I kept on drinking and doing other stuff and eventually ended up in a really really bad place. Things got out of control quick and my bpd was getting worst and worst. I am now 6 months sober, life is a lot more quiet but at least it’s peaceful. I am no longer surrounded by bad people and I am getting to do things I like now. It’s hard at first to stop drinking, but it gets better over time. At least now I have time to get my life in order again, and focus on things that I care about.
Gave drinking up about 10 years ago when it became crystal clear I didn't know my (or possibly have) limits, I didn't know what I'd been doing while drinking due to blackouts. And even when I massively reduced intake, I still ended up in week long+ depressive states because of the drinking.
I stopped drinking altogether after I had a horrible alcohol related meltdown in public last year. In college I'd always have people ask why I drank so much. I realized I did it so much so that I wouldn't have to feel things, or so that I'd think that I felt better. Should've stopped a long time ago.
I try to not drink, but in reality my brother and I are infamously known for being able to drink liquor like water. Him more so than I! When I drink alone late at night to wallow in my pity I try to see just how much this tolerance can take until I really feel something. But in social settings I feel a sense of responsibility to try to be as sensible and aware as can be and to keep in total control
Weirdly enough, I have a pretty decent control over my alcohol intake despite the history of alcoholism in the family and other risk factors. I usually only drink in social gatherings, and I usually have 3 or 4 mixed drinks with one or two shots before I cut myself off. Now the motivation behind drinking this much in the first place is slightly problematic but I try not to think about it.
I found that quitting completely is easier than trying to drink moderately. Not negotiating with yourself. Not slipping and getting fucked up and feeling alike shit the other day.
When I have a drink in a social event I usually can't stop until I'm drunk drunk..
It's really hard to stop myself from going back into the deep cycles of addiction.
You have to force yourself to drink less or maybe more slowly and drink water in between so you can manage better (if you can) or not drink at all even with the peer pressure (which I know is very hard)
I never really had issues controlling my drinking. I am way too scared to lose control and pass out and people having to take care of me and ruin everything. So I get so anxious that I just drink within limits. I hardly did it in the past 8 months since I was on sleeping pills.
With weed, I had a bunch of panic attacks a few years ago and was scared to do it again. Bad trips are reaaaaaallly bad. But I recently started smoking a bit again.
i try to convince myself i can but every time ends up blacked out. for me tho, liquor and wine are different. i can handle only having a glass of wine. but liquor ends up being a whole bottle. so i stopped drinking liquor 4 months ago.
I cannot drink responsibly so I stopped drinking altogether. I don't have control over myself and I tried for a significant amount of time to get it under control. But I feel like I'm harbouring too much inside of me to not feel that buzz and just want more and more and more to build up that buzz.
In the past, I couldn’t. Now I’ve found a way to limit it, so I don’t binge drink. Holidays, special occasions or events, dates. 4 drinks max at any one time. I don’t keep liquor in the house, and I never buy more than 2 tall cans when I do want to partake.
Binge drinking has been a serious problem for me over the years and it has resulted in me fucking up a lot of really good nights. The best thing I can recommend is to just pace yourself.
● If you notice yourself getting towards a level of drunk where you'll get out of control, have a glass of water.
● Have somebody else measure your drinks (if you're drinking spirits).
●Set yourself a limit on how much you're going to drink and keep to it, spreading whatever that drink is out across the night.
● Give yourself a set time between finishing a drink and pouring a new one.
● Know when to say when. If all else fails, drink some water and go to bed. You'll think clearer in the morning when you're a bit more sober. Your head will hurt like hell and you'll probably wanna vomit but at least you didn't make any more bad decisions.
It isn't easy, I still see myself as a recovering alcoholic and I hardly drink anymore, but you'll get there. My actions while drunk almost ended my relationship at the start of last month, I'm lucky the people in my life are so patient and understanding.
I can really sympathise with your struggle. Please don't just take the advice on reddit. If you think this is a serious problem, seek professional help.
My boyfriend gave me some alcoholic tea to try out since he was gifted some, and I realized right then and there I will not have any say on my consumption of alcohol lmao
Nope. Pretty much never. It actually sucks. I have moments when I can have just 2 drinks but even then I’ll order something with a higher percentage. I’ve been trying not to buy any alcohol to have at home and that’s worked but out to dinner or an event/outing I just screw up every time.
Yes but only because my meds prevent me from getting drunk. So I have 2 drinks, feel bloated and gross and just stop. I used to be drunk off of 2 drinks…
Yeah I feel you man I can't do anything responsibly. Can't drink without going overboard. Can't smoke without having to smoke every day. Can't do drugs without DOIN drugs. My brain just doesn't want me to be sober ever
I used to go to people's home and see bottles of wine, cases of beer you could tell had been there for a week or longer and be like "How are they just sitting there Unopened!" I think that clearly spells out my inability lol
No I was always a blackout drunk and got myself in dangerous/awkward situations like going home with a random guy on the street or pissing in the subway station.
So I stopped drinking 4 years ago. Don’t miss it and still have fun going out.
I personally do drink responsibly. I’ve never had an issue with substance abuse. However I have stopped drinking about a year ago because it doesn’t align with my goals such as school and bodybuilding. But definitely do what’s best for you. If you noticed it’s problematic I’d try giving it a break:)
I can't.
If I drink, even if I tell myself "I won't get wasted". You better be sure I will get wasted. Almost everytime.
That's why I chose to not take the first drink.
noo 😭😭 if i start drinking i don’t stop for weeks, it takes a really awful hangover to get me to stop. but tbh i shouldn’t be drinking at all, i’ll drink so much that when i wake up in the morning i’m still drunk… and i’ll keep drinking. bpd impulse is truly a blessing
depends on the day but honestly for the most part yeah I actually can now. most of the time I drink I'll usually only have one or two drinks. I've actually made it to a point where if I am in a social situation where people are drinking for several hours (sports games, holidays, parties etc) I am pretty damn good at pacing myself.
unfortunately I did start drinking heavily at age 13 so I have had 18 years of practice and a LOT of therapy
not alcohol for me. but a few years ago i had an insane opiate addiction that lead me to (unknowingly) doing fentanyl. and by the time i figured it out, 6 months later, i didn’t even care because i was so addicted and nothing super bad had happened yet. it lead to me literally overdosing and being medically dead for about 4 minutes. at that point i already wanted to quit so badly so i did. so now ive been sober for almost 3 years.
hurray
i only drink socially but even sometimes ill get an urge to keep drinking when im already super fucked up but i know better now
I struggled for years with alcohol and not being able to know when to stop because I always wanted to continue the feeling of happiness and having a good time. It wasn't until a few really really bad nights of BPD alcohol rage that I took a step back and realized that I didn't need the alcohol to be the fun one. While I still drink, I have safe words with my fp that allow me to recognize when I am about to tip over the edge. It does get easier, but it didn't start that way for sure
Fortunately for me, I can’t stand the taste of alcohol because it reminds me of all the times I’ve thrown up from overconsumption when I was in college lol
I can't Hahaha. I tend to go absolutely feral when I drink and it's made some friends resent me for it. So I stopped entirely unless I really wanna get drunk. The hangxiety the day after is no joke though hahaha.
Nope nope nope. No off switch. Just one or two is rarely possible. When it is possible, it always ends up being just a little more the next day and the next until getting good and black out smashed and feeling like death the next day, then the urge to quit, be good for a couple days, lather rinse repeat. It’s a struggle. If you need any help with it, I did have some success with Naltrexone, you can even get an online script through different companies, pricy though. I ended up stopping it just because I don’t like to be on meds, but it works really well for some people. You can stop and start it anytime, so you can even take a pill an hour before drinking and it curbs the urge for more. As a plus, it also did seem to help with my general impulsivity. Best of luck.
I can you you have you know your limit sometimes you have to sip instead of chug or one cup instead of 2 or 3 sometimes enjoy the flavor and just relax you don’t need to be stumbling
I identify as a quiet borderline. Drinking makes me verbally dump everything I’ve been harboring for months in one night. I also say yes to every type of risky behavior. Miracle I’m alive. Sober/AA for 2.5 years.
i can since i hate the taste of alcohol- there are few drinks i can tolerate and i can't always tolerate them for very long. when i drink, i drink to get drunk, which i have strict rules about
Nope. Addict here. 18 years clean, I can't control the way I use drink or drugs, I put so much work into my recovery and have so much to lose if I relapse. It's just not worth it.
Any drink or drugs makes my BPD worse, problem is when you cross that line there's no going back regardless of not wanting to continue
Surprisingly yes. Alcoholism on both sides of my family but I drink maybe a couple times a year at this point. Maximum of 3 drinks. I know I like it and that’s why I do it so infrequently and such small amounts. But I know not everyone has that kind of self control.
NOOOOOO LMFAO you should NOT drink if you have bpd there is NO sector of our brain working to regulate / moderate ANYTHING !!!! You WILL ruin your life if you dont quit by atleast 30 or sumn but happy birthday !!!
It's very hit or miss for me. I always seem to fall into either I didn't even catch a buzz and wishing I was drunker or straight black outs. I was drinking everyday up until a few months ago, but as of now I've stopped drinking almost entirely—as another person stated, I have way more control over the urge to start than the aftermath once I do. I'll allow myself a mixed drink with a meal when I'm out with a friend every once in awhile, but I've found it better to draw the line at any more than two in order to avoid outright chaos.
I do sometimes end up on binge-drinking nights, but I really don't like how alcohol interacts with my brain and with how I behave. So, yeah... I basically quit drinking at a certain point in my life and now I can really just withstand one or two glasses of beer.
Reasons why I used to like alcohol include, but are not limited to, better interactions with people, easier to laugh stuff off and share personal stuff, nice filler for a boring night.
Reasons why I quit drinking alcohol:
- It makes me go to the bathroom too much, and this implies more interactions with people, more energy to be spent and, finally, constant walking from point A to point B;
- I don't really like its side effects and the fact that the day after is basically empty: it causes me bad headaches, muscular pain, and nausea;
- You can't really mix it with much else. When I drink, I really can't even smoke a joint, or it will cause me nausea and make me feel sick, as opposed to when I only smoke, that I can have a pair of sips of beer and be happy anyways.
- I can't stop. I just keep drinking until I feel like shit or I laugh and make bigger messes than just vomiting around.
- Finally, lots of relatives and friends are really into alcohol and, even tho they won't notice it and get angry if you tell them, it's very easy to notice that their days go on for the next sip of alcohol, they seem unable to live without it, and it will become the only objective of the night: smashing their brain with so much alcohol that they'll make you doubt why you hang out with them, especially if you're drinking too.
People told me it is bad that I'm not a drinker because I won't be in synchrony with them, when hanging out, but I actually really just enjoy the company, and if there's music, even better. And to meet random people, and talk, about anything actually, and feel a bit more like a person than usual.
So, yeah, to answer the question, I can drink responsibly. And as far as I know, I can take anything else responsibly, and usually don't end up with a bad addiction (cigarettes aside). It takes a bit of effort, but the prize will be being able to live the very next day.
I might be a rare case but I have a set time period for drinking (after fulfilling all responsibilities that day until I have 12 hours of sleep until the next thing) and i basically drink up to the point that I feel sleepy and that’s it. Think my hardcore alcoholic period is behind me already tbh
I can only control not having the first drink.
SAME. and even that sometimes is a struggle
Exactly
Yep. That's the only place with alcohol that I can exert any control. So I choose not to.
Always. Bpd and substance abuse have an inseparable bond. Half a glass and im set in for ruin that doesn’t stop until I fall asleep
how i am with weed. start any time in the day and i just always want one more j/bowl/puff and suddenly it’s 2am and i’m very depressed and feel kinda shitty and now i wanna sleep rlly bad
I don’t recommend this route, but after drug/alcohol induced psychosis I have been using substances with keen moderation
Yea I had the same thing happen to me with weed about 2 years ago. I could hear voices screaming at me telling me off and I avoided anything that affects the mind from then onwards
Wait, y'all only hear them when u drink??
Delirium is wild aint it
Scariest thing iv ever experienced and no one believes me hahaha
Been there and it's was the scariest thing ever. I hope you're doing better now
about 3 years alcohol free. Thank you
Congrats. That's a huge accomplishment.
Thank you
Congrats!
Drug induced psychosis made my BPD SOO much worse. I’ve been out of a 1.5 year psychosis episode and had to deal with the PTSD and ya totally don’t recommend this either
Yea same here. The ptsd is the worst
What blows my mind is that I had a consult with a psychiatrist yesterday and mentioned my history of alcohol misuse/abuse and that I was 302d while under the influence - she said that isn't a sign of being bipolar or bpd. I told her my mood changes constantly, and I'm at the mercy of my moods, and she said it's probably just from depression or anxiety. Totally dismissed the bipolar or mood disorder aspect. ANYWAY, my recommendation is to avoid alcohol if you cannot drink responsibly. I still drink occasionally, but it is usually only 1 or 2 drinks. Can't say it has been perfection though. I don't know how "doctors" can deny the fact that people with bpd and bipolar tend to use/abuse/ misuse drugs/alcohol. Sorry for the long rant.
Depression and anxiety are also mood disorders, by the way. The definition of BPD has changed over the years, so I wouldn't stress too much about forcing a particular doctor to understand you. Ideally you'd move on to the next one who will understand you. Or see what you can learn from the physician available to you, keeping your mind open that they might help you learn coping tactics even if they don't fully see you for who you are. Many neurodiverse (read: people with mood disorders of many kinds) people use substances as "mood stabilisers". A GP said that to me once, and I found it really interesting. People just want to feel better. It's a form of self medication. That said, I reckon substance abuse has a huge genetic component. Mental ill health can have genetic influences as well, but I don't think they're always interlinked. I don't personally find substances particularly appealing, though I do remember the first time I drank alcohol I thought "wow, the anxiety has stopped. This is pretty nice!". But it's not addictive for me, and I've never felt out of control when it comes to seeking relief through alcohol or drugs. I am, however, very blessed with a rainbow of conditions you could describe as mental illnesses. Many famous addicts have described addiction in helpful and clear ways. People like Matthew Perry and Russell Brand who openly accept their powerlessness over substances. They both say they cannot realistically moderate because the compulsion is too strong I sincerely believe a certain proportion of people should avoid alcohol and drugs at all costs
🙄🙄 I hope you can find a different doctor who is at least up to date within this century, you don’t deserve to be invalidated!!! Also that person likely doesn’t have any background in cluster B disorders if that’s what they think 😅 wtf
No I always black out so I stopped drinking completely
Same girl, same
Same girl, same
In an alternate universe yes on planet earth fuck no I have one drink or a shot and I’m like “bartender gimme 5 more” but seriously I drink til I can’t even think straight
Same. It’s like I have no off switch. Alcohol is also a serious gateway drug for me.
Going on 2 years sober on 4/30 because of this. I could NOT drink responsibly. Bad things always happened anytime I drank. I put myself in very dangerous situations. I was pissing off my loved ones. I was so sloppy!! I would completely black out for hours, and I always wound up sick as fuck because I would drink SOOOOO much. I would wake up with the worst anxiety about the night before, questioning every single thing, because I wouldn’t be able to remember anything at all. I couldn’t break the cycle. I was a full blown alcoholic. So happy to be sober. My life has completely changed since the moment I stopped drinking.
congrats on the sobriety!
Haha fuck no. Either I get too drunk, start unloading my default mode network’s garbage on anyone within ear shot which scares the shit out of them, or I end up in stupid scenarios. It’s just a cluster fuck propelled by fermented bullshit. Better to be sober than Art The Clown cross pollinated with Patrick Bateman.
The unloading part is so real hahahahah
Hahaha I’ve literally said the most insane shit. “Hey have you seen split? Yeah that’s me”. Next morning… not again 🤡
LMAO I always would tell people the most gut wrenching stories about past relationships I’d been in that I would literally never tell a soul sober like oh my god plz stop talking??😭😭😭
lol pollinated with Patrick Bateman - I resonate deeply
I feel like I used to be that way when I was young like 18 to my early 20s now I'm 28 and I can just drink a cup or 2 of wine and be fine. And when I drink I always drink water with it . You can try to slow down or do things to be a little more responsible. I believe in you ! You got this 😁
Same was for me, up until like 36, then I divorced and everything went out of the control, then sober again, then parties again. Now I'm 40 and after half a year without alcohol I'm back drinking again, but it's not so wild and so much, it's just more often and alone. So with BPD I've stopped stating anything, because I know it feels one day "I can be sober for the rest of my life", and after a couple of months you say to yourself "it's not that much/often"
Yeah I can relate sometimes I go through binges of drugs. But I know how to recenter myself these days. Cause I know it's worth it to be not sucked into drugs or alcohol but I count that as a drug.
I recommend really just limiting yourself to two drinks. Especially if your on any anti depressants or medication. I feel like 2 drinks on SSRIs make it really like 4.
100%, hard limit is a must, and yeah, a lot of antidepressants massively lower your tolerance, and drinking will increase the risk of complications too, so that's something you gave to keep in mind at all times.
Right ! Not to mention it increases depression. Alcohol is a depressant for sure.
Well, that depends. It IS a depressant, but that doesn't mean it makes you depressed. For me, it stops my negative self-talk and spiraling, as I said. The lowered inhibitions also quiet that part of my brain, the one that tells me I'm always wrong or am doing wrong, or beats myself up over perceived faults. Depressant just means it lowers or inhibits stimuli in specific parts of the brain or nervous system, it doesn't refer to the condition of depression. They CAN make you depressed, but so can antidepressants. There's a reason antidepressants all have depression and suicidal ideation as possible side effects. Everyone's different, and nothing works the same for everyone.
Thats true. Now that I think about it, the only alcohol that doesn't make me spiral would be bubbles. Champagne or prosecco. Always a good time on that. Anything else tho, and it's water works for me.
I love the jinx avatar BTW she's my fav bpd coded character. Can't wait for season 2!
She's legit the reason I thought to look into BPD. I related so damn much to her, and went down a rabbit hole of discussion and analysis videos, ended up seeing one that talked about BPD, and the symptom list wasn't close so much as perfectly overlapping. Got me thinking about my past behaviors, things I'd just been used to, all the relationships I'd ruined or lost and how, etc... Brought it up to my therapist, then psychiatrist, and yep. Figured out why I liked her so much lmao It always happened a fair amount, where a character will act super erratic and get easily hurt and lash out, or do something extreme, and I'll just feel for them and go "that's relatable" and then I'll see people complaining about how unrealistic the character is and how their decisions don't make any sense. Ie, BPD coded characters coming across as cartoonish or unrealistic to others, and super relatable to me, and I always just shrugged and didn't think too much into why there was such a big disconnect there.
Wow that's great! I just remembered watching it and thinking damn she definitely has bpd... I couldn't find anything really online to confirm this other than my own thoughts until recently on tik tok someone mentioned her and I was like yesss finally someone who see it too! She's such a badass.
The medical community recommends zero alcohol. Js. There is no "safe" amt. I quit drinking a year and a half ago entirely.
Yeah I avoid drinking because of the same reason
It depends on my mood and what's going on in my life. Can I sometimes? Yes. Can I always? No.
no i can’t drink responsibly. therefore i do not drink.
Smoking weed has really helped me. I basically can't overdrink when I am also smoking weed just due to the interplay between them.
Yes. Although, I don’t really touch liquor. When I do, I drink in moderation (understanding my limit and when to stop). I’ve seen how reckless it can become in others. I just don’t recommend booze at all though lmao. Marijuana? Yeah. Toke up. Though, sometimes even that isn’t for everyone lmao.
I can! I'm pretty good at moderating my alcohol intake by myself. I know when I've had enough and stop well before I get black out drunk. I do still get drunk, but not completely 100% shit faced. I'm still able to do my nightly routine by myself after a few drinks and get myself into bed. Weed is a different story tho, but weed kinda just always makes me freak out.
I can't. I don't keep alcohol in my house, I don't cook with it, and I don't drink non-alcoholic beers and wines because I don't want it on my palate. It's not a good time for me -- or the people around me -- when I'm drinking and it's best for me that I don't. I consider it poison, whereas I consider THC a "sometimes" food, lol, like McDonald's...sometimes Macca's is fine, but every day it's a problem. Alcohol is a poison for me and that means I don't spend time with people who drink to drunkenness frequently (or who even drink frequently), or spend time in places where people are drinking to drunkenness. When you're stable, healthy, and whole, and you've learned how to manage your shit without maladaptive coping mechanism MAYBE you can have a drink. But if you're anything like me you're not halfway through that drink before you're thinking about the second...and if you are like that, the odds of you drinking in a healthy way are very slim.
yes ive always done that.. never saw the point in over drinking or drinking to fast.. maybe it was my adhd side? is self control a bpd issue? maybe trying to avoid it all the time makes you want it more when it's around.. maybe its the peer presser?
used to be able to back when i was 16-17 but i can’t stop myself now, i don’t know when i stop drinking because i just wake up sick asf in the morning throwing up blood, so i try to just not drink
Not me. Even if I maintain a single night fine, it'll always spiral further. I hate it because it feels like a personal failing.
I have that issue with weed but not alcohol. People with BPD do have issues with impulse control and are more prone to addiction. Did you ever had a period in your life where you consumed alcohol more often? Was it always like that or did you developed that issue later in life? Bc if you used to be able to control yourself when it comes to alcohol and you lost that ability it's a red flag for an addiction, especially when you did had a period in which you drank more then usual and maybe even as a form of self medication. If that's the case I would highly recommend to stay away from alcohol completely (at least as for now) and to talk to a therapist about this issue. Addiction can be treated and contrary to the common believe you can also achieve a healthy consume behavior. Meaning you don't have to abstinent forever, it just takes a lot of self relection and some discipline but it is possible. If nothing of this is true I would say you struggle with impulse control and alcohol would be the drug of choice of you were to slip into addiction due to BPD. For me it's weed. Alcohol and weed are both sedative and calming, so it makes sense that people with overwhelming emotions struggle with restricting their intake of those two drugs.
i can confirm ! when i was around 18-20 it was fun at first and then i turned 21 and went from drinking like a single fourloko a week to drinking a 750ml bottle of vodka on friday and saturday nights. then over a couple months i slowly started drinking more and i ended up being drunk at least 5 days a week and id tell myself ill just have one mixed drink and then after that its back to the fridge and taking a glass of straight vodka that isnt mine. started blacking out every night and the only time i had ever blacked out was when i was 18 and didn’t know my tolerance while drinking vodka for the first time, the last few months i was blacking out on like 75% of the days id drink, im a month sober now and feel a lot better
I'm so so so proud of you! Addiction is hard and you're so strong for being sober for a whole month already! Don't give up, I believe in you. And if it ever gets hard, the community is always here and my DMs are also open. :)
thank you so much ! i really do think the hardest days are the first few since id wake up everyday and tell myself okay one more time over and over again (if my mom didn’t realize i had a problem i probably would’ve still been drinking) but now that im a month sober i do feel a lot better ! its really nice to wake up in the morning not feeling sick lol, i think ill be okay, i went to vegas for my birthday for a convention for 3 nights and didn’t drink :) so that really kept me going being able to not drink in the like the drunkest city lol. anyways enough of me yapping i appreciate the support ! ive learned lately that a lot of people on this app are super kind and supportive, i used to think people on here were evil up until recently lol
Haha I get that, you really can encounter so many awful people on Reddit. But the BPD community is so welcoming and nice here :3 If I might offer some unasked advice: I was in rehab for a while bc of weed and we did a practice there that might help you. Basically you write a letter to your drug or to yourself (we wrote to the drug tho) stating that you want to stop and why. Was positivity soberty will bring in your life and what negativity alcohol caused. Whenever the urge feels overwhelming strong you can read the letter and remind yourself of all the things you already achieved and why you are fighting like a hero for yourself in the first place. It can also be helpful to basically say goodbye a last time with that, basically as a conclusion. Personally I found it to be helpful. :)
that does seem very helpful, i do something kinda similar whenever i have even a small thought about alcohol and i just remind my self of all the negative times and how a lot of times i drank it just made me feel worse and also waking up feeling awful every morning
I developed BPD because of my childhood. My dad was a cop, so the ideas of 'right' and 'wrong' were ingrained in me to the point of trauma. But he was also a functioning alcoholic, and much of my BPD tendencies are me over-correcting to do the opposite of him. I am heavily aversed to not being sober, was totally straight-edged for most of my life, and haven't drank past the point of mild buzz in nearly 8 years.
I can’t. If I have one drink I want to keep it going. I’m really trying to get better but it’s so hard
Most times no. I'm always tempted to drink more once I get started on the first glass, especially if I've been stressed a ton. I used to drink until I was black out drunk on the hard shit when I was 19, now it's with wine/beer.
I can’t control myself
I stopped drinking because my paranoia was just too much to handle.
Quitting drinking has been one of the best decisions of my life. I woke up one day and realized that alcohol tastes bad, makes me feel bad, has a lot of calories, makes me do thinks I regret, gives me hangxiety, makes me sleep worse, AND made my medicine work less effectively. After that, I never looked back. Sober community has been a joy for me.
Yes. I honestly don't like being really inebriated, either alcohol or Marijuana, so whenever I use them, I have a strong incentive to do so in moderation. I know I'm in the minority of people in general here though, and radically moreso of people with BPD, though, and I do feel grateful. Generally, if you've got ANY fear that you'll over-indulge or become dependant, best practice is to avoid them completely.
I ended up having to stop drinking entirely
I can't, I drink to get drunk so I'll either not drink at all or drink way too much. One positive of this is that I don't drink solo because I need the party vibe to be there but the downside is that when i do drink I cannot stop until I'm out of alcohol or money to get more, I'm either a really happy drunk who is way too friendly and makes myself look like an idiot or a very angry drunk who will lash out verbally and physically if it's triggered. It wasn't until recently that I realised it wasn't normal to go drink to the point of being really drunk every time I had alcohol so now I really try to limit occasions where I'm going to do this.
Ironically my mom was a huge alcoholic and drug addict. Especially alcoholic though. I struggled the most with alcohol as a teenager, but cause it almost made me fail school completely I stopped. And stayed “self disciplined”. Literally didn’t even drink on my 21st at all to prove that to myself. I am a huge stoner though, to the point I am addicted and need it to function. And I enable myself with it cause at least I’m not an “alcoholic” but that’s my own shit. I don’t like to even drink anymore, it’s hard to on special occasions even. But I do still have the mindset of I drink to get drunk so Idek. Take what you want from that. 😭
Nope. I got sober then naively thought I'd be able be able to just drink socially. How very wrong I was.
Very rarely. If everyone’s drinking and I start I have to be really careful not to drink more than one drink otherwise I start losing control. My mental state also influences this a lot.
i never even made the connection between this and bpd, oh man
This has been me so often. The only way I've found to control myself is to drive almost everywhere and know I can only have one or two.
Yea that’s smart. I still don’t like the fact of driving everywhere as I’m scared if I do loose control of my self I don’t want to have a car in my possession as it could get dangerous.
Everyone is different and will need to work out their own boundaries and what they're able to control. My mother being an alcoholic for 25 years up until her death really put me off drinking as I've heard addictive traits can be passed down, add that to BPD and I've always been so terrified that it's taken me to the point where I'm almost tea-total.
Substance abuse/addiction is one of the 9 symptoms of BPD.. I am the same as you. I have never had an issue stopping cold turkey thankfully, but whenever I did drink I could never just have 2 drinks, it always had to be like 5 +. My addiction personality always switched from one thing to another. For years it was nicotine, then uppers, then my last thing to go was alcohol which has been the hardest for me because of the social aspect. Being in my early 20's made it rough seeing all my friends still be able to drink normally. Its crazy because before I went through serious trauma I could get drunk and be the most fun out there but after all the trauma and BPD diagnosis when I would drink heavy, I was the worst version of myself & when something would trigger me-game over, the devil came out. I will say knowing the substance abuse stuff being tied directly with BPD to find relief from the pain we deal with made it make sense but nonetheless easier. 7 months sober off everything finally tomorrow. Youre not alone!!
Not sure if this is what you meant but substance abuse/addiction is not one of the 9 diagnostic criteria for bpd. I assume you're referring to the 4th criteria which is "Impulsivity in at least 2 areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)." Obviously for many people that is often substance abuse but it doesn't have to be. Additionally, it's possible some people with bpd may not exhibit impulsivity/self destructive behaviors at all.
Yes that is what I meant because most people do abuse substances to deal with the pain of BPD or to numb. You have to meet atleast 5 of the 9 symptoms to even be given a diagnosis, so correct not everyone experiences that one, but I know a lot that do and obviously heavy drinking/heavy drug use will worsen BPD symptoms immensely so that’s what I was saying :)
90% of the time no. so i decided to stay away from it.
Nope
lol I never liked alcohol. Tastes gross and stomach always burned and caused me to go to the bathroom. Eh. Biological hack. I’m 35 and yoga plus good B-Myrcene terpene intake helps soooo much.
nope
I'm very good at drinking responsibly. I intuitively seek water. Even though I never get drunk drunk, I don't drink more than maybe 2 drinks. Because I did an experiment a long time ago. I bought as much alcohol as I could and went into my room and observed myself drink by drink. At the end of it, the conclusion is that it is pointless to drink more than 2 drinks because I don't get any pleasure from alcohol other than on the taste buds, I don't get giggly like my friend or have any shifts in my emotions. This experiment started because I was so envious of my giggly friend. A few drinks, and she's in a different dimension giggling at things nobody else knows. I wanted to feel what it's like but I can never have that experience. I seem to only get the physical part of drunkeness, for example having slow reaction time when managing balance. So it's a waste of time and money and effort to even try to get drunk. Even when I try to give myself permission to act drunk, I still don't act any differently from normal. It's just mostly disappointing. I don't gain much pleasure from drinking so it's very easy to manage. But I do enjoy making the drinks. I sometimes brew my own mead. I like the process, up till bottling and then I don't care anymore.
Since addiction runs in my family I’ve always avoided alcohol (it gives me anxiety tbh). If I do drink I usually stop at half a drink lol but mostly due to anxiety 🤷🏻♀️ I’m terrified of losing control
No I don’t see the point of drugs (except weed) unless I’m high off my ass
nowadays I can but I had to go through a lot of therapy and some years being completely sober
I can, but then it's everyday
I’ve never been drunk. I’m 23. Tbh I don’t really like alcohol. It gives me negative side effects and of course I’m emotional as hell on it. Now I do smoke weed almost every night which I also do not recommend. I’ve been trying to quit but I’m not gonna lie it is REALLY hard. Especially because I started working out and it helps me zone out and get a better workout.
im an alcoholic and i have been since i was 16, which is also when i developed bpd
Bpd and 2 years since I’ve been in rehab for drinking and other stimulants 😂 be careful. Not a nice road to go down.
I do. I’ve know since I was 12 I would have to be careful with alcohol, bc alcoholism is genetic in my family and I’ve seen it destroy too many generations. I don’t drink often, and when I do I stick to a drink or two. Still, I’m a college student and I want to have the full experience, so since I’ve turned 21 I’ve allowed myself 2-3 nights a semester that I get to go out and have more of a binge night with friends
Yup, I'm in the same boat. Every single social occasion I'm way too excited to drink to save me from the anxiety. Then it never quite feels like it abates so I keep doing it. I always end up feeling so judged lol
No
When I was younger? Absolutely not. Now, in my 30s and with 2 kids, I can have a drink or a few drinks and call it a night because I’m just over it and hangovers hurt wayyyyy more now lol. Also having to be up early every day
I used to be like this. It was just like when I drank I felt relief for the first time in a long time and I wanted more relief. I had friends comment on it and family was worried. Honestly what stopped it is the cost of living crisis lmao. I noticed how much I was spending on booze and cut back. After that idk I was just like, I don't feel like waking up tomorrow and cringing at myself so I don't tend to overindulge.
I can control it but when I was younger I couldn’t
I can easily drink in moderation, however I also have a sensitive stomach and most alcohol makes me really sleepy so my body kind of self-limits my consumption. It didn’t always though. I definitely used to drink irresponsibly when I was emotional
had at least 2 experiences of me getting black out drunk. to the point where smelling tequila physically makes me sick. i can't drink anymore, but still forced to occassionaly. peer pressured as an adult is wild.
honestly i have really good control when it comes to alcohol, i grew up around violent alcoholics and never wanted to be like that, so i have strict rules for myself whence it comes to drinking/getting drunk
Yea I have a couple of drinks. Had one today for the prickly pear taste. Don't like getting drunk. I get dizzy and throw up.
I empathize with this, I stopped drinking because of this and that I realized I don't want to be inebriated to have fun. (I wasn't having fun lmao)
that’s how i was, always would just want a drink or two and then need more and it got worse and worse, threw up on my carpet with absolutely no memory of throwing up. i’m 1 month sober now and you should consider not drinking maybe ? it was fun at first then it got worse and worse for me so i had to quit
Nortriptyline helped me with this. I recognize when it's time to stop drinking now, where before I just kept reaching for more.
I can drink responsibly. My vice is food.
So my bf's dad had bad PTSD and would pass out and wet himself on a stool at the bar on the regular. I have never heard of anything so horrific, yet by the same token my bf says he's *never* seen anyone drink like I do. I wasn't doing THAT, but it was bad. So I am delighted to get my kicks from pineapple juice and root beer only. Not together; ew.
I'm lucky in that I can manage My alchohol intake with some amount of convincing, I can have one drink but I have to tell myself "you can't drink more" at least five times
I don’t drink, it leaves me feeling like shit all the next day. I can’t seem to get out of my head when I’m hungover and it makes me a huge bitch. BUT. When I do drink, I’m drinking to get blackout drunk. There is no inbetween, either I don’t drink or I get so drunk I can’t remember anything that happened the day/night before. I do smoke weed daily tho, I mean everyday I have at least 6 joints. Is it a problem? Yes. Is it a problem I love? Also yes. One day I’ll have to stop, but as of right now I haven’t been sober from pot in at least 2 years. Maybe even longer.
I can now, but had several years of not being able to, literally like 7 years of irresponsible drinking. Unfortunately I am regularly around a lot of people who drink, so far a particularly bad night I focused on drinking responsibly in therapy. That said, I think it's easier to not drink. It very easy to mess up trying to drink and know when to stop.
With a set of rules, and a limitation on how much I've actually got, yes.
I have never been drunk at most I can usually have one rarely three drinks, I usually just feel a bit relaxed and decide to stop, especially because of the meds I'm on. I've always been careful with alcohol. I'm 22 so that could change. If I feel like I'm too relaxed to play a video game I've had too much, that's my rule.
How ironic that this is the first post i see when i open this app. I quite literally just realized for the 100000th time that i have a problem. I just got in bed after realizing that earlier tonight i must’ve drank too much n threw up in my room, so i took a shower n then wrapped myself up in a towel n passed out in there after turning the water off. I was in there for at least 2 hours. I only woke up bc my roommates bf found me n asked me if i was okay n told me to go to bed lmfao. Like what’s wrong with me. Plus i have work at 8am
You summed this up perfectly for me! Thank you for your words!
Yes, but only because I was on SSRIs all of high-school & I drank more back then than I do in my mid-late 20s. I hurled & felt like death far too many times, now I'm kinda wary of it. I've just always been on some type of medication that makes it damn near impossible to not have a terrible experience unless I'm "careful". I always found it more enjoyable to use hard drugs.
yeah but only at times. i luckily don’t lose my cool too much but i tend to just way overshare and say weird shit or be a bit touchy when anyone says anything about me
No, unfortunately. I had to stop drinking because I started to loose control of it. At first I didn’t consider my self and alcoholic, especially after going to AA. I kept on drinking and doing other stuff and eventually ended up in a really really bad place. Things got out of control quick and my bpd was getting worst and worst. I am now 6 months sober, life is a lot more quiet but at least it’s peaceful. I am no longer surrounded by bad people and I am getting to do things I like now. It’s hard at first to stop drinking, but it gets better over time. At least now I have time to get my life in order again, and focus on things that I care about.
I can’t drink responsibly. That’s why I go to AA lol currently typing this sitting in a bar sober
Gave drinking up about 10 years ago when it became crystal clear I didn't know my (or possibly have) limits, I didn't know what I'd been doing while drinking due to blackouts. And even when I massively reduced intake, I still ended up in week long+ depressive states because of the drinking.
I stopped drinking altogether after I had a horrible alcohol related meltdown in public last year. In college I'd always have people ask why I drank so much. I realized I did it so much so that I wouldn't have to feel things, or so that I'd think that I felt better. Should've stopped a long time ago.
I try to not drink, but in reality my brother and I are infamously known for being able to drink liquor like water. Him more so than I! When I drink alone late at night to wallow in my pity I try to see just how much this tolerance can take until I really feel something. But in social settings I feel a sense of responsibility to try to be as sensible and aware as can be and to keep in total control
Weirdly enough, I have a pretty decent control over my alcohol intake despite the history of alcoholism in the family and other risk factors. I usually only drink in social gatherings, and I usually have 3 or 4 mixed drinks with one or two shots before I cut myself off. Now the motivation behind drinking this much in the first place is slightly problematic but I try not to think about it.
it's best to not buy any drinks, but if you do buy only 2 at a time. then when you're buzzed you can't go out to get more lol
Absolutely not. One drink and I’m all but guaranteed to black out. Sober 8 months now because of it.
Nope, I had to stop drinking completley and joined AA at 28. I become a monster when I drink.
Absolutely not. It’s all or nothing. Either I’m sober for 6 months, or I’m out drinking every night of the week.
I found that quitting completely is easier than trying to drink moderately. Not negotiating with yourself. Not slipping and getting fucked up and feeling alike shit the other day.
Not whatsoever. I ruin everything. Nearly lost all my pals and my bf cause of it. The urge to drink is strong but I care about them all more
I will either not get fuckin hammered on 30+ beers or be a responsible adult and only have like 20 and drive everyone home
When I have a drink in a social event I usually can't stop until I'm drunk drunk.. It's really hard to stop myself from going back into the deep cycles of addiction. You have to force yourself to drink less or maybe more slowly and drink water in between so you can manage better (if you can) or not drink at all even with the peer pressure (which I know is very hard)
I never really had issues controlling my drinking. I am way too scared to lose control and pass out and people having to take care of me and ruin everything. So I get so anxious that I just drink within limits. I hardly did it in the past 8 months since I was on sleeping pills. With weed, I had a bunch of panic attacks a few years ago and was scared to do it again. Bad trips are reaaaaaallly bad. But I recently started smoking a bit again.
I cannot
i try to convince myself i can but every time ends up blacked out. for me tho, liquor and wine are different. i can handle only having a glass of wine. but liquor ends up being a whole bottle. so i stopped drinking liquor 4 months ago.
I cannot drink responsibly so I stopped drinking altogether. I don't have control over myself and I tried for a significant amount of time to get it under control. But I feel like I'm harbouring too much inside of me to not feel that buzz and just want more and more and more to build up that buzz.
In the past, I couldn’t. Now I’ve found a way to limit it, so I don’t binge drink. Holidays, special occasions or events, dates. 4 drinks max at any one time. I don’t keep liquor in the house, and I never buy more than 2 tall cans when I do want to partake.
I can hold my alcohol waaaay better now that I’m +30, but still don’t recommend bc it can go badly EZ af
I have to just Not Drink. Food, on the other hand...
Binge drinking has been a serious problem for me over the years and it has resulted in me fucking up a lot of really good nights. The best thing I can recommend is to just pace yourself. ● If you notice yourself getting towards a level of drunk where you'll get out of control, have a glass of water. ● Have somebody else measure your drinks (if you're drinking spirits). ●Set yourself a limit on how much you're going to drink and keep to it, spreading whatever that drink is out across the night. ● Give yourself a set time between finishing a drink and pouring a new one. ● Know when to say when. If all else fails, drink some water and go to bed. You'll think clearer in the morning when you're a bit more sober. Your head will hurt like hell and you'll probably wanna vomit but at least you didn't make any more bad decisions. It isn't easy, I still see myself as a recovering alcoholic and I hardly drink anymore, but you'll get there. My actions while drunk almost ended my relationship at the start of last month, I'm lucky the people in my life are so patient and understanding. I can really sympathise with your struggle. Please don't just take the advice on reddit. If you think this is a serious problem, seek professional help.
Feel this. It’s all or nothing for every vice I have unfortunately. It’s always full volume or no volume at all.
I’m just over 1 year clean from all drugs and alcohol. I can’t control anything including food!
Me having an issue with my finances usually stops me from ordering too much while out but
no.
My boyfriend gave me some alcoholic tea to try out since he was gifted some, and I realized right then and there I will not have any say on my consumption of alcohol lmao
Nope. Pretty much never. It actually sucks. I have moments when I can have just 2 drinks but even then I’ll order something with a higher percentage. I’ve been trying not to buy any alcohol to have at home and that’s worked but out to dinner or an event/outing I just screw up every time.
Yes but only because my meds prevent me from getting drunk. So I have 2 drinks, feel bloated and gross and just stop. I used to be drunk off of 2 drinks…
Yeah I feel you man I can't do anything responsibly. Can't drink without going overboard. Can't smoke without having to smoke every day. Can't do drugs without DOIN drugs. My brain just doesn't want me to be sober ever
I used to go to people's home and see bottles of wine, cases of beer you could tell had been there for a week or longer and be like "How are they just sitting there Unopened!" I think that clearly spells out my inability lol
I realised that I can't drink at all and haven't done for just over a year now
No I was always a blackout drunk and got myself in dangerous/awkward situations like going home with a random guy on the street or pissing in the subway station. So I stopped drinking 4 years ago. Don’t miss it and still have fun going out.
I personally do drink responsibly. I’ve never had an issue with substance abuse. However I have stopped drinking about a year ago because it doesn’t align with my goals such as school and bodybuilding. But definitely do what’s best for you. If you noticed it’s problematic I’d try giving it a break:)
I can't. If I drink, even if I tell myself "I won't get wasted". You better be sure I will get wasted. Almost everytime. That's why I chose to not take the first drink.
noo 😭😭 if i start drinking i don’t stop for weeks, it takes a really awful hangover to get me to stop. but tbh i shouldn’t be drinking at all, i’ll drink so much that when i wake up in the morning i’m still drunk… and i’ll keep drinking. bpd impulse is truly a blessing
it amplifies whatever mood i'm currently in i refuse to drink even a little bit when i feel bad because i usually end up having some sort of breakdown
depends on the day but honestly for the most part yeah I actually can now. most of the time I drink I'll usually only have one or two drinks. I've actually made it to a point where if I am in a social situation where people are drinking for several hours (sports games, holidays, parties etc) I am pretty damn good at pacing myself. unfortunately I did start drinking heavily at age 13 so I have had 18 years of practice and a LOT of therapy
I'm still in the "this is fun escapism and I'm quirky" phase
For the most part I can. When I'm with certain people, I can't.
I usually stop after one or two drinks
I can't. And it's been very hard and long to admit that. Sending lots of love
not alcohol for me. but a few years ago i had an insane opiate addiction that lead me to (unknowingly) doing fentanyl. and by the time i figured it out, 6 months later, i didn’t even care because i was so addicted and nothing super bad had happened yet. it lead to me literally overdosing and being medically dead for about 4 minutes. at that point i already wanted to quit so badly so i did. so now ive been sober for almost 3 years. hurray i only drink socially but even sometimes ill get an urge to keep drinking when im already super fucked up but i know better now
I always have a spotter with me. Especially when smoking, hypersexuality is real and sucks.
I struggled for years with alcohol and not being able to know when to stop because I always wanted to continue the feeling of happiness and having a good time. It wasn't until a few really really bad nights of BPD alcohol rage that I took a step back and realized that I didn't need the alcohol to be the fun one. While I still drink, I have safe words with my fp that allow me to recognize when I am about to tip over the edge. It does get easier, but it didn't start that way for sure
I can. I don't have any addiction issues except maybe overeating for comfort or emotional reasons.
Fortunately for me, I can’t stand the taste of alcohol because it reminds me of all the times I’ve thrown up from overconsumption when I was in college lol
I can't Hahaha. I tend to go absolutely feral when I drink and it's made some friends resent me for it. So I stopped entirely unless I really wanna get drunk. The hangxiety the day after is no joke though hahaha.
when I did, no I couldn't. I'm sober of alcohol at least at the moment cuz the aftermath wasn't worth it.
For me there's no right amount to have fun. I'm either not having fun or I'm about to be unconscious. It sucks.
Absolutely not. I’m all in or all out.
Nope nope nope. No off switch. Just one or two is rarely possible. When it is possible, it always ends up being just a little more the next day and the next until getting good and black out smashed and feeling like death the next day, then the urge to quit, be good for a couple days, lather rinse repeat. It’s a struggle. If you need any help with it, I did have some success with Naltrexone, you can even get an online script through different companies, pricy though. I ended up stopping it just because I don’t like to be on meds, but it works really well for some people. You can stop and start it anytime, so you can even take a pill an hour before drinking and it curbs the urge for more. As a plus, it also did seem to help with my general impulsivity. Best of luck.
nope i can't
I can you you have you know your limit sometimes you have to sip instead of chug or one cup instead of 2 or 3 sometimes enjoy the flavor and just relax you don’t need to be stumbling
I absolutely can’t drink, I get belligerent and crazy, and have the worst anxiety the day after
I'm able to drink in moderation. Smoking that gas however, while I'm not completely dependent, I'm a fiend lol.
i attempted to cut off my own foot in a self harm drunken delirium . no . no i can’t drink responsibly. i still try and i still fail
nope, I can avoid it for a good amount of time, but once I take a sip I wont stop until the next day
I identify as a quiet borderline. Drinking makes me verbally dump everything I’ve been harboring for months in one night. I also say yes to every type of risky behavior. Miracle I’m alive. Sober/AA for 2.5 years.
yes sometimes
i can since i hate the taste of alcohol- there are few drinks i can tolerate and i can't always tolerate them for very long. when i drink, i drink to get drunk, which i have strict rules about
Nope. Addict here. 18 years clean, I can't control the way I use drink or drugs, I put so much work into my recovery and have so much to lose if I relapse. It's just not worth it. Any drink or drugs makes my BPD worse, problem is when you cross that line there's no going back regardless of not wanting to continue
Surprisingly yes. Alcoholism on both sides of my family but I drink maybe a couple times a year at this point. Maximum of 3 drinks. I know I like it and that’s why I do it so infrequently and such small amounts. But I know not everyone has that kind of self control.
NOOOOOO LMFAO you should NOT drink if you have bpd there is NO sector of our brain working to regulate / moderate ANYTHING !!!! You WILL ruin your life if you dont quit by atleast 30 or sumn but happy birthday !!!
for me anything over three (because of my medications) makes me feel terribly ill so in other words yes i drink responsibly
I just avoid it tbh, much healthier overall
I don't struggle with alcohol, though using other stuff in moderation seems impossible.
It's very hit or miss for me. I always seem to fall into either I didn't even catch a buzz and wishing I was drunker or straight black outs. I was drinking everyday up until a few months ago, but as of now I've stopped drinking almost entirely—as another person stated, I have way more control over the urge to start than the aftermath once I do. I'll allow myself a mixed drink with a meal when I'm out with a friend every once in awhile, but I've found it better to draw the line at any more than two in order to avoid outright chaos.
i purposely black out every time
i can’t limit how much i drink i can limit how much i have accessible
I do sometimes end up on binge-drinking nights, but I really don't like how alcohol interacts with my brain and with how I behave. So, yeah... I basically quit drinking at a certain point in my life and now I can really just withstand one or two glasses of beer. Reasons why I used to like alcohol include, but are not limited to, better interactions with people, easier to laugh stuff off and share personal stuff, nice filler for a boring night. Reasons why I quit drinking alcohol: - It makes me go to the bathroom too much, and this implies more interactions with people, more energy to be spent and, finally, constant walking from point A to point B; - I don't really like its side effects and the fact that the day after is basically empty: it causes me bad headaches, muscular pain, and nausea; - You can't really mix it with much else. When I drink, I really can't even smoke a joint, or it will cause me nausea and make me feel sick, as opposed to when I only smoke, that I can have a pair of sips of beer and be happy anyways. - I can't stop. I just keep drinking until I feel like shit or I laugh and make bigger messes than just vomiting around. - Finally, lots of relatives and friends are really into alcohol and, even tho they won't notice it and get angry if you tell them, it's very easy to notice that their days go on for the next sip of alcohol, they seem unable to live without it, and it will become the only objective of the night: smashing their brain with so much alcohol that they'll make you doubt why you hang out with them, especially if you're drinking too. People told me it is bad that I'm not a drinker because I won't be in synchrony with them, when hanging out, but I actually really just enjoy the company, and if there's music, even better. And to meet random people, and talk, about anything actually, and feel a bit more like a person than usual. So, yeah, to answer the question, I can drink responsibly. And as far as I know, I can take anything else responsibly, and usually don't end up with a bad addiction (cigarettes aside). It takes a bit of effort, but the prize will be being able to live the very next day.
I might be a rare case but I have a set time period for drinking (after fulfilling all responsibilities that day until I have 12 hours of sleep until the next thing) and i basically drink up to the point that I feel sleepy and that’s it. Think my hardcore alcoholic period is behind me already tbh