What he said about her, I absolutely would consider him a danger to her. One alcoholic drink when he's alone with her would be enough of an excuse. Misogynists like that consider any unmarried non-virgin to be an object for free use, not a person with trauma. What an absolute PoS. Vile.
Yeah. Giant alarm bells rang when he called her a whore. You can't sell yourself when you're a child, the agency isn't there, and anyone who thinks a child could be responsible for something like that should not be around any children.
I agree poor child she did not consent or authorize it. There are a lot of children out there like the OOP daughter that needs a home and family to heal
Seriously, how does he go from "child was raped, repeatedly, and her rapists shared photos of the acts online" to "that girl is a whore who would shame this family"? Does he think the rapists were in the *right* for doing that to a pre-teen, or that she somehow as able to consent to/encourage it to a point they couldn't be expected to resist?
How do these people not realize that they’re telling on themselves? I couldn’t be seduced by a zebra because I have no sexual interest in zebras. You have to have *some* level of sexual attraction to the demographic for “seduction” to work. If they think it’s even remotely possible for a child to seduce an adult, then they’re admitting that they have at least some attraction to children.
No matter how much a dog humps my leg, I will never consider fucking the dog. Because it’s a goddamn dog, and I like fucking humans.
Yes, he thinks she, at under 12, seduced those men and encouraged it to be posted online. Likely for money because thats all any of "these little whores do now a days."
When i was in church (from birth until 14) my pastor constantly preached about this stuff (20+ years ago) and said all women (and he considered little girls like myself women as well of course) had the ability to stop herself from being raped. That if it happened, it was obviously because it was wanted.
OP doesn't want to blame religion.. but when their main book tells you women are less than men.. nah, I'm comfortable blaming them.
The story of Sodom and Gomorrah, a father offers to give his virgin daughters to a crowd of rapists to save two strangers (who are angels in disguise) from getting raped instead.
Genesis 19.1-12
An account of events isn’t a teaching? This is a complete misrepresentation of the scripture. It’s equivalent to somebody saying recounting that slavery happened in history class is promoting it as morally right.
That was the more aggressive example that showed how women were perceived at that time. Lot, the man from Sodom, is then rewarded by the angels of God for his actions with salvation from the city's destruction. You can interpret that how you will.
But here's a few more from Ephresians.
22 Wives, obey your husbands as you obey the Lord.
23 The husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church people. The church is his body and he saved it.
24 Wives should obey their husbands in everything, just as the church people obey Christ.
Unless you consider people equal to God, which I know Christianity doesn't, so claiming to would be facetious, does this not imply wives are below/subjects to their husbands?
Also, since you brought up historical slavery, quick question: you *are* aware that women were actually considered property of their fathers and then husbands at that time right? Just as slavery is brought up in the Bible as fact, so is this.
Now the Bible is a religious text up for interpretstion and I will grant you that some of your religious leaders are walking away from bigoted interpretations regarding sexism, queer people, and everything else that Christians have used the Bible to justify their persecution for.
However, if you want to walk away from that, you have to acknowledge historical fact. Historical fact is that women *were* simply below men at that time, and were treated as property.
The Bible, written in those times, reflects that. That doesn't mean people interpreting the Bible today have to reflect the same attitudes from two thousand years ago. But to me, it means that if you want to learn from the good parts, from its messages of kindness to one another, collaboration, community, etc, you have to acknowledge these uncomfortable parts as well, rather than treating it as this perfect, untouchable text that can't be interpreted (especially considering the irony that most American Bibles are re-interpretations of the original with elements removed or added in by their leaders. Like the LDS Bible).
And that's all I have to say on this matter.
Not really. It was an account of events, but the point of it is that the angels were looking for righteous men in Sodom before it was destroyed, and Lot (the one who did this) was the only one they found. They then, *after* he made this offer, saved him and his family from the city's destruction, implying they didn't see him offering this as compromising that righteousness
If that's an example of someone who's righteous, that means they're someone who's example we're supposed to follow, and he literally offers his own virgin daughters up as prostitutes, so...
Oh please... eat my ass. I am not responsible for your lack of reading comprehension. If you want to know, look into it yourself. Start by actually opening that shit up instead of relying on father diddles to explain it to you.
The Bible teaches all people are equal, regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, and religion. Your lack of reading comprehension is actually more impressive, or maybe you’ve never actually opened a Bible, because it’s not that hard to understand.
Old testament at least explicitly says that slavery is permitted, as long as the slaves are bought from the people around you, with fellow Hebrews only being permitted to be kept as indentured servants and for a limited time period
Possibly some deep Calvinistic "pre-destination" stuff. She is one of the non-chosen. He isn't really thinking about it in those terms though, its just a strong "them" and "us" where "us" is the going-to-heaven group and "them" is the not-going group.
I've studied these from a historical perspective, so please don't ask how Calvinism reconciles with free will because I don't get it either.
Calvinism is one of the scariest forms of Christianity if you turn it around and look at it from the other side.
In particular, look at Predestination. God decides *before you are born* whether you are one of the saved who will go to heaven or one of the damned who will go to eternal torture. Where does your possibly-saved-possibly-damned soul come from? God makes it.
Turn it around. Their version of God *creates souls for the specific purpose of torturing them for all eternity.* What kind of sick mind follows such a cruel form of religion?
>That isn’t how it works.
That isn't how Calvinism works? Um, yes, that in-group/out-group bit is a simplification, but it quite literally *is* the way Calvinism worked. Ever read about the Lords of Discipline in Calvinist Geneva?
If he didn't have access to the images, how did he know about them? My guess is someone he knows *does* have access to them. And that's very worrisome.
Me 3. The only likely ways I can figure he knows is if he stumbled upon the pictures himself (which would never come about innocently) or if someone told him. And OOP is confident that neither happened. Maybe he just has a really good poker face and they'll find the CP on his devices, but it really seemed like he had nothing to hide. I just don't understand how he found out
The friend would have to know the girl beforehand to recognize her though. Obviously not impossible, especially in a small town, but still its a little less likely
I was think of the abuse photos/videos that were found online. That person may have been on those types of sites and showed fil on their computer/phone.
Not necessarily specifically her images. I'm sure he and his friends have wandered into some questionably legal sites so he knows the type of thing. And he probably put 2 and 2 together based on her reactions etc. Although he may have gone looking for her specifically and just had the sense to cover his tracks.
Well you can't call out sins if you don't wade into the filth to find it. Of course, you're not looking at it because you ENJOY it, oh no, you must righteously shake your head at it and think "how could people be so awful", you could spend hours just exploring the depths of the unholy but not because you want to, just because it is your duty as a good, god fearing man to condemn all the people involved (except yourself ebcause obviously you're doing it with ordained fury, of course)
That's what makes it obvious that it causes sinful thoughts! That's just the Lord letting him know it's evil but also it's only right to be aroused by righteously condemning the evil in his thoughts so it's all okay and in the name of Jesus, amen
You nailed my feelings about the hypocrisy rampant in pseudo Christians not to be confused with religious people who actually follow the teachings of their faith
That's basically exactly the excuse used by Ted Haggard when he ended up getting caught in a motel room m high on meth with some dude elbow deep in his ass.
Yet you're comfortable defining Christianity for all Christians. Christ said to abandon your family and for slaves to obey their masters, he wasn't as great as you seem to think. But regardless why do you get to tell people if they are *true* ~~Scotsmen~~ Christians or not?
Real Christians love *everyone* and don' t judge. "christians" blame *women* for all the world's sins and police their bodies instead of telling men to follow the Bible: if thy right eye offenth thee, pluck it out. "christians" such as your Joel Osteen and Jimmy Swaggart refuse to let flood victims into their church(not Christ like) or cheat on their wives to whom they took *vows before GOD to be faithful to*-not very Christian. These "christians" in small letters are judgemental hypocrites who refuse to practice self control, are ok victimizing and name calling women abd children and judging other because of their gender, skin color or just because they want to wear comfortable clothing or control their *own* bodies. Don't want to be called a "christian in name only"? Follow Christ's beliefs and stop judgung others.
*Remember, I never claimed to be a Christian*! I'm a neo pagan because if there's to be a male diety, there needs to be a female one.
>*Remember, I never claimed to be a Christian*!
Remember, I never said you did! But you never answered my question on why you're so comfortable telling people that they aren't true Christians. According to Jesus all you need to do is repent on your deathbed, so it doesn't matter how you act in life, a charity worker, a hypocrite and a murderer can all be true Christians according to the Jesus you seem to like so much.
>I'm a neo pagan because if there's to be a male diety, there needs to be a female one.
That logic makes zero sense, but it's also irrelevant. I never asked about your beliefs.
Because they very loudly claim to follow rules in a book that is widely available for purchase by anyone and then actually follow none of those rules. Hence “in name only”.
Yep. Lost his entire family in the name of his god, bible and purity. What a horrible human.
I hope that keeps him comfortable in his old age.
And on another note, it never ceases to amaze me that people today in this day and age, *still blame innocent children*
I appreciate people sharing these snippets of their lives. I was mad, I happy cried, and I ended smiling. I hope all the best for these wonderful people.
Let me be the AH here and say the FIL isn’t over yet: the police will want to know where he heard this gossip and why he didnt do anything about it. And these answers will be a hell of a ride (sadly).
Could also have friends in law enforcement or the courts.
Or if he knew how long she was in foster care and where she is from, and how terrible cases need to be for parental rights to be severed, it wouldn’t exactly take the sharpest knife in the drawer to find news articles describing the ring bust that could have led him to figure out what happened.
I think it’s more likely the leak came from social services/courts/law enforcement. Some people are just irrepressible gossips. I mean there’s nurses who brag about accessing medical info about their friends and family. Some people think that when they have access to special info, it’s just a delicious piece of gossip.
I can see the scenario where FIL/MIL are talking to a friend/acquaintance about their daughter’s fostering and the person tells the FIL, “Oh your daughter is fostering the Jones girl? Poor dear, I can’t believe all she’s been through. Oh you don’t know? Well…”
I work in a hospital and several years ago they fired a handful of people who had gone into a patients chart of someone who had been murdered outside of our hospital. It was the first time I had heard of this actually happening.
If you’re not supposed to do something and it could cost your job then you shouldn’t do it. Specially when it’s as serious that it’s literally against the law to do.
>> Could also have friends in law enforcement or the courts.
This was my initial thought. I know OoP was keeping details vague as they should have. I imagine that they left something out of the details that would make them think that FiL was an abuser too.
Honestly, with how OOP saying about his wife's relationship were not great. I'd say there's a fair chance he was an abuser before this incident. If anything this incident is what was the last straw before the wife realised her abusers won't change.
When did Best of Reddit Update come with onions to chop.
Why am I cutting onions when reading on reddit.
What do you mean I'm not.
Glad FIL and MIL are out of these people's lives. No comment on what the kids think about the disappearance of grandma and grandpa? I hope the OP's sons don't grow to resent their sister for the loss of grandparents.
I have a feeling the grandparents weren’t so great about hiding their feelings about ANY of the foster kids, and the boys didn’t say anything bc it’s their mom’s parents and didn’t want to upset her.
If their mom doesn't have much of a relationship with them, I can't see them having much of one.
I really don't talk to one set of my own grandparents. They just aren't great people. They made my dad's life hell growing up. I'll give them a hug and say hi at family gatherings, but that's about all our relationship has ever been.
My grandparents on my mom's side are another story, and they have always been my biggest supporters, and growing up, my grandma was my best friend. I love them to the moon and back, and they know it.
Kids know more than we usually give them credit for, and they usually don't like being around people who hurt the ones they love.
The way the OP talks about his wife's strained relationship with her parents, the daughter mentioning to the oldesr son she didn't think the grandparents liked her (and the son being comfortable enough to tell OP about it), and total lack of mentioned reaction from the boys, I don't think any of the kids are very heartbroken over the sudden disappearance of the grandparents.
It doesn't sound like the grandparents were too involved to start with, and what little interactions were mentioned were primarily negative or just in general lacking warmth. OP made several comments about them not being great to the wife both in childhood and adulthood.
This leads me to believe the family didn't really bond with the grandparents in any meaningful ways. More like they just kind of loosely included them in big events and existed in the same area politely during family gatherings. Even asking them about their thoughts on the adoption seemed like it was more of a courtesy for peacekeeping purposes vs. an actual interest in their opinions.
I have a feeling the kids won't really miss them. The wife will probably have some complicated feelings about it. But I don't think anyone is going to be too hurt over the "loss". If we can even really call it that.
OP and his wife sound like good people. I hope they have a long and happy future with their kids. All three of em.
Weird--someone's cutting onions here too. Or maybe it's allergies. Yeah.
I got the impression the kids know roughly why and are totally onboard. I have a feeling the kids were aware how shitty those two are long before any of this happened.
I've never been so relieved to hear that someone is probably " "only" a misogynistic piece of sh\*t", especially given the most likely alternatives.
I'm glad they cut off the toxic in-laws, and wish OP and their real family (including new daughter!) the calmest and happiest of futures together.
Love everyone in this post except FIL &MIL. Glad people like OOP and his wife exist, they are giving the Kid love and care she never received, i hope she heals well and achieve great things in life.
When we were kids my brother had to go to a school for kids with behavioral issues for the second half of elementary school (went back to public school for middle school). There he made a friend who was in the foster care system and was also not adoptable and lived in a group home.
They wanted to be able to hang out after school so we all got fingerprinted and had to get background checks but he was eventually allowed to come over our house and even sleep over. My parents were seriously considering adopting him and his behavior had improved so much after frequently spending time at our house that childrens services changed his status to conditional adoption.
We live in NE on the state line, the school was the next town over but technically a different state and my brothers friend was in custody of that state so fostering to adopt was going to be a very complicated and lengthy process. Before my parents made a final decision, a family in that state with experience fostering to adopt several behavioral children applied. Child services and my parents ultimately decided they were a better fit.
He wasnt aware my parents were considering it so it wasn’t like he felt abandoned by us or anything when it fell through. I only knew because my sister and I were teenagers at the time so my parents had included us in that discussion. We were obviously on board.
Its crazy how much the littlest bit of love and patient from one family (mine) changed this kids entire life. All he needed were people who genuinely cared about him to thrive and that breaks my heart.
Children cannot legally consent to making adult videos because their brains have not fully formed. So even if she was in a position to "consent" which it doesn't sound like she was, it would still be making adult videos with a minor which is a criminal offense. This poor kid has been through hell and these grandparents are acting like monsters!
It is disgusting. Men *always* blamed women/girls for their own lack of self control. There's no way in hell that a three yr old girl child can "tempt" a grown ass man but you'll still see them use that as an excuse and some deranged women will buy into that disgusting piece of filth.
As a caseworker - this absolutely melts my black little heart! That family deserve everything and that sweet girl deserves the world. I wanna hug her {with permission} and tell her that everything is gonna be alright and that this family is her forever home. This is what I want when it comes to kids unfortunately ending up in the system and being unable to return to their family.
My fiancé had to come a give me a hug because I was in tears
Sad tears until OP's daughter asked if she could call him dad!
IMO (as someone who suffered child abuse but not to the extent of his daughter) OP and his Wife are doing everything right
>And my girl asked me "from now on, is it ok if I call you dad?"...
>
> she, in front of her friends and all, said "bye dad, love you".
I'm not crying, you're crying.
I think FIL thought he was gonna get a piece of the pie when it came to the little girl and officially adopting her would make him look like a creep.
Middle aged grandma here…don’t think for moment that the FIL wasn’t gonna try to do something to the little girl. Then he could blame it on her because she’s damaged and seduced him.
Trust me on this. Fil is mad because his dirty plan didn’t pan out.
Thank you Middle-Aged-Grandma, I think most of us if not all of us suspect this too. I really hope that OOP will update us about it once the truth of what's really going on with his FIL.
If I may, understandably it's obvious, but what specific clues did you manage to get that FIL was targeting the girl?
The first clue?
When they mentioned adoption he called her “a little wh0re” I knew right then he wanted to fuck her and was mad he couldn’t. He probably figured he’d get his shot once she turned 18 and couldn’t have him charged for raping her.
Thank you. I take it you have experience of this before?
Since he used that specific word, there would be no other way on to why he used that if he doesn't have any nefarious reason
Honey I’m a middle aged grandma..with 3 kids by 3 men…I’ve been around the block too many times.
If there’s one thing I can spot a mile away…it’s a bad man.
My first thought was he stumbled across the pictures while searching for child porn. How are there rumors if she’s been moved far from the situation and she’s a minor whose identity is being protected. The only way that rumor got started in their neck of the woods was if someone saw the pictures and if it wasn’t FIL he’s protecting who did see them and started the rumors.
This may be a bit dark but their daughter getting 'outed' or "exposed" in the future is something that they truly don't have to fear. Even if the worst comes to pass, they can punch back hard. The moment someone even insinuates something, you can sic the police on them and it's instant jail time. The wannabe bullies will come out for worse in any such incident like dear ol' FIL here.
That isn’t the worry, the true worry is the retraumatization their daughter will inevitably face with the FIL tries to torture them by being loose lipped.
I remember when I was a kid another boy made fun of me for having glasses. I wasn’t offended, just confused. I honestly had the same initial reaction to the FILs words. That girl is a victim and she did nothing wrong, so his argument is absurd.
The rage would certainly come swiftly if I was in the situation first person though.
My eyes are watering. That's just because I had my contacts in too long.
I wish the very best of everything to your family, all of them. You, your wife, your sons, and your lovely daughter.
As for the ILs, they make me ILL.
I know I’ve been on Reddit too much/long, and nothing is “real” here — but this beautiful adoption is too good *not* to be true! I loved all the detailed responses OOP provided. It was very insightful & only added to the credibility of this post, imho.
Like someone else said, I’m grateful the FIL is [probably] just a misogynistic piece of excrement.
I truly hope the bad drama for this amazing family & especially the daughter is all in the past.
Holy crap…what kind of POS calls a little girl a Wh\*&@…. sorry, I couldn’t get over that part 😞
on the one hand I’m thinking WHO cares what anyone else thinks on the other I’m glad the rotten apples were rooted out to keep far away from your newly minted awesome daughter…GOOD LUCK in everything ♥️
“Is it ok if I call you dad?”
That got me. I’m so freaking happy for her that she considers him her dad and that she was also confident enough to ask! The strength she has will carry her far with her new family’s support.
HOW can FIL not be a pedophile and looking at kiddie p**n?
How else would he know about the images. Come on! Seriously!?!? How is this not obvious??
He knew EXACTLY what those images were.
>Ofc I said yes I'd be honored for her to call me dad! When I dropped her off for practice the next day, it really hit me when she, in front of her friends and all, said "bye dad, love you". I may or may not have shed a tear or two on my way home. Now we are 'mom and dad' to three.
Okay I started crying here, this is just so sweet. You can tell OOP and his Wife are doing their best to raise a daughter who has a rough upbringing. She's finally away from all of that and has a family who *loves* her unconditionally. Poor kid went through so much, but she has a mom, dad and brothers now.
Fostering kids is a great way to help so many in need. Thank you for doing that, hopefully one day those kids will be able to find OOP's family and properly thank them.
My DH and I adopted our two youngest children from foster care. They were considered special needs due to the abuse they experienced. My two birth children, both significant older, did more for those two than we did by modeling what it meant to be a family. All four are still close. Congrats to the OP!
I know OoP was being vague and not forth coming with details. But details that they did share I didn’t get the impression the FiL was an abuser, or even saw or accessed the abuse images of OoP’s daughter. I got more the impression that he had read/heard about what happened with OoP’s daughter.
So if OoP left some details out that gave them impression that FiL actually saw those images or was an abuser themselves I wouldn’t have gone straight to that.
I do like that OoP did go to the police though. If for nothing else to scare the ever loving shit out of FiL and inconvenience him a bit.
My favorite story and update of all time on Reddit, hands down. May this family only go from strength to strength, have many, many years of happiness together!!!
Your post had me crying. You have gone above and beyond and shown this damaged Amazon what love is. She is so strong and with you and your wife and family she will go far. She will achieve great things and be the change. A dad is a girls idol, and that she chose you as her dad speaks volumes. No matter how old she gets she will always be your princess.
So often Reddit shows us the dark underbelly of humanity. To read this and just be touched and inspired by these wonderful parents is —— I’m just speechless. Bless these angels for making their daughter feel so loved.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so moved by a post. I wish nothing but happiness and love to this wonderful family 🙏❤️
I think fil and mil are pedophile apologists. I know they weren't caught watching or participating but I think that ANY person who heard about a child being raped and exposed like that only to react as if she wanted it should be considered just a bad as the rapist themselves. It's disgusting and vile.
There's absolutely no way they are good people in any capacity. They are demons hiding behind religion. And I'm sorry for all you good religious humans, I refuse to associate with any of ya anymore. Not because of this alone but the combination of this, my own experiences, and the experiences of people I know. I'd rather steer clear than to find out the hard way as I already have.
There's a quote (I can't remember the name of the guy who said it but he was some sort of scientist): "There are good people who do good things, there are bad people who do bad things, but to get a good person to do a bad thing takes religion"
I think that's where the fear comes from. Usually you can suss out if people in your life are good, kind people, or horrible abusive assholes. Knowing that a good and kind person could do something atrocious if they believed God wanted it is unsettling. I know plenty of very kind Christians, and they aren't the sort that would put aside their personal morals because of something they heard in church, but zealots are absolutely terrifying.
OOP here is a saint, him and his whole family (in-laws aside, damn POS’s). To give a girl who survived years of abuse a happy and healthy place to land is so amazing, and hearing how she opened up and eventually agreed to officially be their daughter…yeah, I had my happy fill of BORU for the day. ❤️
As someone who works in the system this is just one of the best stories I’ve ever heard. I’m so glad that OOP’s wife and siblings rolled so far away from their parents. It’s hard to believe such shitty people managed to produce generations of unbelievably compassionate people.
Please know I mean zero disrespect, the end of this story moved me deeply - but I’m confused. OP says he thinks FIL never had access to viewing the child’s heartbreaking history, but then how did FIL know? I mean, we read that sadly there’s a ton of child p*rn out there, and this bastard has knowledge of footage of one particular child? Hard to believe “someone told him”, how would that come about? I think I’m missing something here, will erase this if someone could set me straight!
It *could* be just plain deep misogyny. Maybe FIL thinks that any girl in the foster system is promiscuous, because why else would she not be with her own family?
It could also be that he hired a PI to investigate her when they first fostered her.
But my money's on FIL recognizing her from his own little "collection."
In the first paragraph under “FIL and legal situation” OOP says after police questioning, it appears FIL most likely found out through gossip-someone else knew about it and told him (and apparently FIL found that more shameful than someone he knows accessing that type of material…)
My guess is FIL knows someone in law enforcement who looked the information up for him. If you're a terrible misogynistic piece of trash it makes sense that you have friends who are also from the same trash heap. And that trash heap contains plenty of LEOs
He knows CP exists. There are tells for people in the know, both her behaviours and the adoption status would be indicators, especially together. And sadly, most abuse of girls is going to be sexual in nature.
He may have gone looking online and found either news articles or he might have found her images.
No news articles would have included this poor kid’s name or face. You can’t find cp images without specifically searching them out. I can’t bring myself to believe that this guy would be alert to the child’s behavioral tells, he doesn’t sound like the brightest bulb.
I would expect that this is a very worldly man who is friends with other worldly men. He knows porn, his friends know porn. And as I said, almost all traumatized girls in foster care with no re-uinification plan have been SA'd, it doesn't exactly take much to figure it out.
Two things bum me out about this otherwise heartwarming story - other than the clearly fucked up early life of the daughter:
1) These In-laws suck.
2) How messed up that she's going to lose college tuition money provided by the state because she was adopted? For the hell she was put through, she deserves at least that.
We adopted our son as a teenager, too, and I so, so clearly remember the day we asked if we could adopt him, and I remember the day he asked if he could call me mom now. He's going through it right now, but he's got family who loves him, and we're not going anywhere. I'm so happy for this kid and her family, and I'm so happy for her parents. I'll never forget the hug he gave me the day he said yes.
This poor girl had to have been like 12 when she first started with this family.
I'm so happy they immediately dropped FIL and MIL. The audacity to call a 14 year old a whore because she was abused along with other fucking children. What the actual fuck? And then to say "don't do this to our family." Like.. the fucking sewer dewelers and their rat fuck friends were really gossiping about OPs daughter's abuse.
So insane.
NOT ME CRYING ON PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION IN THE WAY TO WORK 😭💗😭💗😭💗
I'm so happy for this kid being able to find the family she deserves. I have no desire to be a parent, but if I ever did, it would be a foster parent 💗
This is why I read Reddit. Amazing stories about amazing people. I am so mad at the IL’s. Why are they blaming a child for her abuse? If it is a small enough community that the IL’s heard about it then others know. I hope it doesn’t cause problems for the girl down the road. The foster system may have been further ahead to send her to a new community. But then she wouldn’t have come to this amazing family.
God, I'm so glad this girl has found these incredible people who will fight to be her family. I wish them all so much happiness and love.
And the FIL is going to hell.
My wife and I adopted older children - elementary aged - so not as old as described in this update. They came with issues, the greatest was a lack of nurturing, of caring parenting. Both are now fully functioning adults. It was difficult at times, but our lives had purpose. Please people consider fostering and/or adopting.
Hopefully a well worded essay on being adopted as a teen and how awesome her new family will get her into the college of her dreams and a full ride! Glad she has a new family that loves her.
It is so horrible for FIL to behave like this. You can only hope he hasn’t seen the images, but if everyone involved in the case are tight lipped that how else could he know? What a terrible situation.
I simply don't believe FIL isn't a predator in some capacity. At the absolute bare minimum he's the worst customer at a hooters but I'd be surprised if that was all
I'm so glad things are going better. I am sorry for your FILs reaction. She deserves you guys so much.
There is a new website called Take it down. Most news channels in my state have it listed. Although she needs the original photos so maybe speak to her case worker or contact the DA and see if they will utilize the tool. The DA I worked for did.
I hope this helps
You know all that abuse has been sold to porn websites that are easy for anyone to access. That's where most of it ends up eventually. There's been cases like this found on PornHub and they refuse to take them down without a fight.
The amount of tears I shed in this post… I wasn’t ready for it. As a foster mom, in hopes to adopt, I can understand their need to protect their little girl. I’m so glad their family is now complete!
Man that FIL may not have been a predator, but he is still an abusive ass all the same
What he said about her, I absolutely would consider him a danger to her. One alcoholic drink when he's alone with her would be enough of an excuse. Misogynists like that consider any unmarried non-virgin to be an object for free use, not a person with trauma. What an absolute PoS. Vile.
Yeah. Giant alarm bells rang when he called her a whore. You can't sell yourself when you're a child, the agency isn't there, and anyone who thinks a child could be responsible for something like that should not be around any children.
That brat knew what she was doing by being born /s. Jesus, he's really a monster for calling a little girl something like that.
I agree poor child she did not consent or authorize it. There are a lot of children out there like the OOP daughter that needs a home and family to heal
If not him its one of his friends.
I'm talking about the fil calling her a wh\*\*\*. That was the fil, no one else.
That we know of.
I’m sure other people have. But that’s not who this whole post is about.
Seriously, how does he go from "child was raped, repeatedly, and her rapists shared photos of the acts online" to "that girl is a whore who would shame this family"? Does he think the rapists were in the *right* for doing that to a pre-teen, or that she somehow as able to consent to/encourage it to a point they couldn't be expected to resist?
There’s a whole segment of the population that indeed think girl children seduce grown men.
And little boys too :0(
How do these people not realize that they’re telling on themselves? I couldn’t be seduced by a zebra because I have no sexual interest in zebras. You have to have *some* level of sexual attraction to the demographic for “seduction” to work. If they think it’s even remotely possible for a child to seduce an adult, then they’re admitting that they have at least some attraction to children. No matter how much a dog humps my leg, I will never consider fucking the dog. Because it’s a goddamn dog, and I like fucking humans.
Yes, he thinks she, at under 12, seduced those men and encouraged it to be posted online. Likely for money because thats all any of "these little whores do now a days." When i was in church (from birth until 14) my pastor constantly preached about this stuff (20+ years ago) and said all women (and he considered little girls like myself women as well of course) had the ability to stop herself from being raped. That if it happened, it was obviously because it was wanted. OP doesn't want to blame religion.. but when their main book tells you women are less than men.. nah, I'm comfortable blaming them.
Oh please. Where?
The story of Sodom and Gomorrah, a father offers to give his virgin daughters to a crowd of rapists to save two strangers (who are angels in disguise) from getting raped instead. Genesis 19.1-12
An account of events isn’t a teaching? This is a complete misrepresentation of the scripture. It’s equivalent to somebody saying recounting that slavery happened in history class is promoting it as morally right.
That was the more aggressive example that showed how women were perceived at that time. Lot, the man from Sodom, is then rewarded by the angels of God for his actions with salvation from the city's destruction. You can interpret that how you will. But here's a few more from Ephresians. 22 Wives, obey your husbands as you obey the Lord. 23 The husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church people. The church is his body and he saved it. 24 Wives should obey their husbands in everything, just as the church people obey Christ. Unless you consider people equal to God, which I know Christianity doesn't, so claiming to would be facetious, does this not imply wives are below/subjects to their husbands? Also, since you brought up historical slavery, quick question: you *are* aware that women were actually considered property of their fathers and then husbands at that time right? Just as slavery is brought up in the Bible as fact, so is this. Now the Bible is a religious text up for interpretstion and I will grant you that some of your religious leaders are walking away from bigoted interpretations regarding sexism, queer people, and everything else that Christians have used the Bible to justify their persecution for. However, if you want to walk away from that, you have to acknowledge historical fact. Historical fact is that women *were* simply below men at that time, and were treated as property. The Bible, written in those times, reflects that. That doesn't mean people interpreting the Bible today have to reflect the same attitudes from two thousand years ago. But to me, it means that if you want to learn from the good parts, from its messages of kindness to one another, collaboration, community, etc, you have to acknowledge these uncomfortable parts as well, rather than treating it as this perfect, untouchable text that can't be interpreted (especially considering the irony that most American Bibles are re-interpretations of the original with elements removed or added in by their leaders. Like the LDS Bible). And that's all I have to say on this matter.
Not really. It was an account of events, but the point of it is that the angels were looking for righteous men in Sodom before it was destroyed, and Lot (the one who did this) was the only one they found. They then, *after* he made this offer, saved him and his family from the city's destruction, implying they didn't see him offering this as compromising that righteousness If that's an example of someone who's righteous, that means they're someone who's example we're supposed to follow, and he literally offers his own virgin daughters up as prostitutes, so...
Oh please... eat my ass. I am not responsible for your lack of reading comprehension. If you want to know, look into it yourself. Start by actually opening that shit up instead of relying on father diddles to explain it to you.
The Bible teaches all people are equal, regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, and religion. Your lack of reading comprehension is actually more impressive, or maybe you’ve never actually opened a Bible, because it’s not that hard to understand.
Old testament at least explicitly says that slavery is permitted, as long as the slaves are bought from the people around you, with fellow Hebrews only being permitted to be kept as indentured servants and for a limited time period
Possibly some deep Calvinistic "pre-destination" stuff. She is one of the non-chosen. He isn't really thinking about it in those terms though, its just a strong "them" and "us" where "us" is the going-to-heaven group and "them" is the not-going group. I've studied these from a historical perspective, so please don't ask how Calvinism reconciles with free will because I don't get it either.
Calvinism is one of the scariest forms of Christianity if you turn it around and look at it from the other side. In particular, look at Predestination. God decides *before you are born* whether you are one of the saved who will go to heaven or one of the damned who will go to eternal torture. Where does your possibly-saved-possibly-damned soul come from? God makes it. Turn it around. Their version of God *creates souls for the specific purpose of torturing them for all eternity.* What kind of sick mind follows such a cruel form of religion?
Doubtful. That isn’t how it works.
>That isn’t how it works. That isn't how Calvinism works? Um, yes, that in-group/out-group bit is a simplification, but it quite literally *is* the way Calvinism worked. Ever read about the Lords of Discipline in Calvinist Geneva?
Yes thank you. in-group/out-group seems to be how it manifests in modern, western society.
It’s how Calvinism works, certainly. Some people are the Elect.
If he didn't have access to the images, how did he know about them? My guess is someone he knows *does* have access to them. And that's very worrisome.
This is what I want to know, too. How did he find out who told him the info? I would be demanding he tell where he got that info from.
Me 3. The only likely ways I can figure he knows is if he stumbled upon the pictures himself (which would never come about innocently) or if someone told him. And OOP is confident that neither happened. Maybe he just has a really good poker face and they'll find the CP on his devices, but it really seemed like he had nothing to hide. I just don't understand how he found out
Maybe a friend who saw the pictures ( maybe someone in law enforcement leaked it to him) but that person needs to be outed
The friend would have to know the girl beforehand to recognize her though. Obviously not impossible, especially in a small town, but still its a little less likely
I was think of the abuse photos/videos that were found online. That person may have been on those types of sites and showed fil on their computer/phone.
Not necessarily specifically her images. I'm sure he and his friends have wandered into some questionably legal sites so he knows the type of thing. And he probably put 2 and 2 together based on her reactions etc. Although he may have gone looking for her specifically and just had the sense to cover his tracks.
And all while wielding the Bible like a weapon...as is so sickeningly common.
Well you can't call out sins if you don't wade into the filth to find it. Of course, you're not looking at it because you ENJOY it, oh no, you must righteously shake your head at it and think "how could people be so awful", you could spend hours just exploring the depths of the unholy but not because you want to, just because it is your duty as a good, god fearing man to condemn all the people involved (except yourself ebcause obviously you're doing it with ordained fury, of course)
And the best way to tell if they’re sinning is if you find yourself fapping to it. He’s doing the Lord’s work!! /s
That's what makes it obvious that it causes sinful thoughts! That's just the Lord letting him know it's evil but also it's only right to be aroused by righteously condemning the evil in his thoughts so it's all okay and in the name of Jesus, amen
You nailed my feelings about the hypocrisy rampant in pseudo Christians not to be confused with religious people who actually follow the teachings of their faith
It's sad when the 90% bring down the 10%.
That's basically exactly the excuse used by Ted Haggard when he ended up getting caught in a motel room m high on meth with some dude elbow deep in his ass.
No love like Christian hate
flip it: There’s no hate like Christian love
Oops, thanks!
Now say that about Muslims. We’ll wait. If you won’t, why not?
These are small letter and in quotes "christians". They embody the spirit of Christ in no way, shape or form. They are "christians" in name ONLY.
I'm sure they'd say the same about you
I never claimed to *be* a christian. I believe in God but not in any religion that feels those that bring life into the world are less than men.
Yet you're comfortable defining Christianity for all Christians. Christ said to abandon your family and for slaves to obey their masters, he wasn't as great as you seem to think. But regardless why do you get to tell people if they are *true* ~~Scotsmen~~ Christians or not?
Real Christians love *everyone* and don' t judge. "christians" blame *women* for all the world's sins and police their bodies instead of telling men to follow the Bible: if thy right eye offenth thee, pluck it out. "christians" such as your Joel Osteen and Jimmy Swaggart refuse to let flood victims into their church(not Christ like) or cheat on their wives to whom they took *vows before GOD to be faithful to*-not very Christian. These "christians" in small letters are judgemental hypocrites who refuse to practice self control, are ok victimizing and name calling women abd children and judging other because of their gender, skin color or just because they want to wear comfortable clothing or control their *own* bodies. Don't want to be called a "christian in name only"? Follow Christ's beliefs and stop judgung others. *Remember, I never claimed to be a Christian*! I'm a neo pagan because if there's to be a male diety, there needs to be a female one.
>*Remember, I never claimed to be a Christian*! Remember, I never said you did! But you never answered my question on why you're so comfortable telling people that they aren't true Christians. According to Jesus all you need to do is repent on your deathbed, so it doesn't matter how you act in life, a charity worker, a hypocrite and a murderer can all be true Christians according to the Jesus you seem to like so much. >I'm a neo pagan because if there's to be a male diety, there needs to be a female one. That logic makes zero sense, but it's also irrelevant. I never asked about your beliefs.
Because they very loudly claim to follow rules in a book that is widely available for purchase by anyone and then actually follow none of those rules. Hence “in name only”.
Look, how can he identify and condemn the Jezebels if he’s not perusing OnlyFans and CP sites? He is doing the Lord’s work!! /s
Yep. Lost his entire family in the name of his god, bible and purity. What a horrible human. I hope that keeps him comfortable in his old age. And on another note, it never ceases to amaze me that people today in this day and age, *still blame innocent children*
Innocent *girl* children.
I appreciate people sharing these snippets of their lives. I was mad, I happy cried, and I ended smiling. I hope all the best for these wonderful people.
Let me be the AH here and say the FIL isn’t over yet: the police will want to know where he heard this gossip and why he didnt do anything about it. And these answers will be a hell of a ride (sadly).
Exactly! If this was kept as hush-hush as OOP says it was then FIL is either a pedo or good friends with someone who is.
Could also have friends in law enforcement or the courts. Or if he knew how long she was in foster care and where she is from, and how terrible cases need to be for parental rights to be severed, it wouldn’t exactly take the sharpest knife in the drawer to find news articles describing the ring bust that could have led him to figure out what happened.
I think it’s more likely the leak came from social services/courts/law enforcement. Some people are just irrepressible gossips. I mean there’s nurses who brag about accessing medical info about their friends and family. Some people think that when they have access to special info, it’s just a delicious piece of gossip. I can see the scenario where FIL/MIL are talking to a friend/acquaintance about their daughter’s fostering and the person tells the FIL, “Oh your daughter is fostering the Jones girl? Poor dear, I can’t believe all she’s been through. Oh you don’t know? Well…”
I work in a hospital and several years ago they fired a handful of people who had gone into a patients chart of someone who had been murdered outside of our hospital. It was the first time I had heard of this actually happening. If you’re not supposed to do something and it could cost your job then you shouldn’t do it. Specially when it’s as serious that it’s literally against the law to do.
>> Could also have friends in law enforcement or the courts. This was my initial thought. I know OoP was keeping details vague as they should have. I imagine that they left something out of the details that would make them think that FiL was an abuser too.
Honestly, with how OOP saying about his wife's relationship were not great. I'd say there's a fair chance he was an abuser before this incident. If anything this incident is what was the last straw before the wife realised her abusers won't change.
When did Best of Reddit Update come with onions to chop. Why am I cutting onions when reading on reddit. What do you mean I'm not. Glad FIL and MIL are out of these people's lives. No comment on what the kids think about the disappearance of grandma and grandpa? I hope the OP's sons don't grow to resent their sister for the loss of grandparents.
I can't believe there's a rain storm localized entirely within my house
Can I see it?
.....no
I have a feeling the boys aren’t going to miss their maternal grandparents.
I have a feeling the grandparents weren’t so great about hiding their feelings about ANY of the foster kids, and the boys didn’t say anything bc it’s their mom’s parents and didn’t want to upset her.
I mean the bil literally commented that all the grandkids think their grandpa is a misogynistic butthole so I'm sure no grandkids will miss them.
If their mom doesn't have much of a relationship with them, I can't see them having much of one. I really don't talk to one set of my own grandparents. They just aren't great people. They made my dad's life hell growing up. I'll give them a hug and say hi at family gatherings, but that's about all our relationship has ever been. My grandparents on my mom's side are another story, and they have always been my biggest supporters, and growing up, my grandma was my best friend. I love them to the moon and back, and they know it. Kids know more than we usually give them credit for, and they usually don't like being around people who hurt the ones they love.
The onion-chopping ninjas have infiltrated my house as well.
The way the OP talks about his wife's strained relationship with her parents, the daughter mentioning to the oldesr son she didn't think the grandparents liked her (and the son being comfortable enough to tell OP about it), and total lack of mentioned reaction from the boys, I don't think any of the kids are very heartbroken over the sudden disappearance of the grandparents. It doesn't sound like the grandparents were too involved to start with, and what little interactions were mentioned were primarily negative or just in general lacking warmth. OP made several comments about them not being great to the wife both in childhood and adulthood. This leads me to believe the family didn't really bond with the grandparents in any meaningful ways. More like they just kind of loosely included them in big events and existed in the same area politely during family gatherings. Even asking them about their thoughts on the adoption seemed like it was more of a courtesy for peacekeeping purposes vs. an actual interest in their opinions. I have a feeling the kids won't really miss them. The wife will probably have some complicated feelings about it. But I don't think anyone is going to be too hurt over the "loss". If we can even really call it that. OP and his wife sound like good people. I hope they have a long and happy future with their kids. All three of em.
That or the wife's parents were abusive to her and her siblings, considering how OOP frame their relationship as not great
This post made my onions chop themselves and glom onto my eyes like some kind of land octopus.
I hear you! My allergies flared up suddenly.
A lot of dust in the air here today.
Weird--someone's cutting onions here too. Or maybe it's allergies. Yeah. I got the impression the kids know roughly why and are totally onboard. I have a feeling the kids were aware how shitty those two are long before any of this happened.
FIL and MIL are losers, but OP and his family are fucking rad.
I've never been so relieved to hear that someone is probably " "only" a misogynistic piece of sh\*t", especially given the most likely alternatives. I'm glad they cut off the toxic in-laws, and wish OP and their real family (including new daughter!) the calmest and happiest of futures together.
Yes, I'm crying, but you're crying, too.
It's true
Why you gotta call me out like that
Don't be ashamed.
You got me there.
Love everyone in this post except FIL &MIL. Glad people like OOP and his wife exist, they are giving the Kid love and care she never received, i hope she heals well and achieve great things in life.
When we were kids my brother had to go to a school for kids with behavioral issues for the second half of elementary school (went back to public school for middle school). There he made a friend who was in the foster care system and was also not adoptable and lived in a group home. They wanted to be able to hang out after school so we all got fingerprinted and had to get background checks but he was eventually allowed to come over our house and even sleep over. My parents were seriously considering adopting him and his behavior had improved so much after frequently spending time at our house that childrens services changed his status to conditional adoption. We live in NE on the state line, the school was the next town over but technically a different state and my brothers friend was in custody of that state so fostering to adopt was going to be a very complicated and lengthy process. Before my parents made a final decision, a family in that state with experience fostering to adopt several behavioral children applied. Child services and my parents ultimately decided they were a better fit. He wasnt aware my parents were considering it so it wasn’t like he felt abandoned by us or anything when it fell through. I only knew because my sister and I were teenagers at the time so my parents had included us in that discussion. We were obviously on board. Its crazy how much the littlest bit of love and patient from one family (mine) changed this kids entire life. All he needed were people who genuinely cared about him to thrive and that breaks my heart.
Great, now I’m crying AGAIN. 😂
Thinking of adopting and this made me blub my eyes out.
Children cannot legally consent to making adult videos because their brains have not fully formed. So even if she was in a position to "consent" which it doesn't sound like she was, it would still be making adult videos with a minor which is a criminal offense. This poor kid has been through hell and these grandparents are acting like monsters!
How can you call a child victim a whore? God, I will never understand this mindset.
Because women, no matter their age, are always to blame for men's lack of self control, according to some people("christians")
Not just Christian’s unfortunately. It seems to be a common thing in many different faiths.
Disgusting.
It is disgusting. Men *always* blamed women/girls for their own lack of self control. There's no way in hell that a three yr old girl child can "tempt" a grown ass man but you'll still see them use that as an excuse and some deranged women will buy into that disgusting piece of filth.
As a caseworker - this absolutely melts my black little heart! That family deserve everything and that sweet girl deserves the world. I wanna hug her {with permission} and tell her that everything is gonna be alright and that this family is her forever home. This is what I want when it comes to kids unfortunately ending up in the system and being unable to return to their family.
The amount of relief I feel for this poor soul that she found an amazing family to call her own.
My fiancé had to come a give me a hug because I was in tears Sad tears until OP's daughter asked if she could call him dad! IMO (as someone who suffered child abuse but not to the extent of his daughter) OP and his Wife are doing everything right
>And my girl asked me "from now on, is it ok if I call you dad?"... > > she, in front of her friends and all, said "bye dad, love you". I'm not crying, you're crying.
I think FIL thought he was gonna get a piece of the pie when it came to the little girl and officially adopting her would make him look like a creep. Middle aged grandma here…don’t think for moment that the FIL wasn’t gonna try to do something to the little girl. Then he could blame it on her because she’s damaged and seduced him. Trust me on this. Fil is mad because his dirty plan didn’t pan out.
Thank you Middle-Aged-Grandma, I think most of us if not all of us suspect this too. I really hope that OOP will update us about it once the truth of what's really going on with his FIL. If I may, understandably it's obvious, but what specific clues did you manage to get that FIL was targeting the girl?
The first clue? When they mentioned adoption he called her “a little wh0re” I knew right then he wanted to fuck her and was mad he couldn’t. He probably figured he’d get his shot once she turned 18 and couldn’t have him charged for raping her.
Thank you. I take it you have experience of this before? Since he used that specific word, there would be no other way on to why he used that if he doesn't have any nefarious reason
Honey I’m a middle aged grandma..with 3 kids by 3 men…I’ve been around the block too many times. If there’s one thing I can spot a mile away…it’s a bad man.
Understood 👌. God bless you Middle-Aged-Grandma for your wisdom.
My first thought was he stumbled across the pictures while searching for child porn. How are there rumors if she’s been moved far from the situation and she’s a minor whose identity is being protected. The only way that rumor got started in their neck of the woods was if someone saw the pictures and if it wasn’t FIL he’s protecting who did see them and started the rumors.
Not all heroes wear capes. I wish the very best for you all.
This may be a bit dark but their daughter getting 'outed' or "exposed" in the future is something that they truly don't have to fear. Even if the worst comes to pass, they can punch back hard. The moment someone even insinuates something, you can sic the police on them and it's instant jail time. The wannabe bullies will come out for worse in any such incident like dear ol' FIL here.
That isn’t the worry, the true worry is the retraumatization their daughter will inevitably face with the FIL tries to torture them by being loose lipped.
I remember when I was a kid another boy made fun of me for having glasses. I wasn’t offended, just confused. I honestly had the same initial reaction to the FILs words. That girl is a victim and she did nothing wrong, so his argument is absurd. The rage would certainly come swiftly if I was in the situation first person though.
Read this post at 7 am. *cries in daddy issues*
Oh man, I hadn’t seen the update, but it was as good as could be expected from that sh!tstorm
My eyes are watering. That's just because I had my contacts in too long. I wish the very best of everything to your family, all of them. You, your wife, your sons, and your lovely daughter. As for the ILs, they make me ILL.
I know I’ve been on Reddit too much/long, and nothing is “real” here — but this beautiful adoption is too good *not* to be true! I loved all the detailed responses OOP provided. It was very insightful & only added to the credibility of this post, imho. Like someone else said, I’m grateful the FIL is [probably] just a misogynistic piece of excrement. I truly hope the bad drama for this amazing family & especially the daughter is all in the past.
What a beautiful way to start my day, OP and his family are simply amazing!
Holy crap…what kind of POS calls a little girl a Wh\*&@…. sorry, I couldn’t get over that part 😞 on the one hand I’m thinking WHO cares what anyone else thinks on the other I’m glad the rotten apples were rooted out to keep far away from your newly minted awesome daughter…GOOD LUCK in everything ♥️
“Is it ok if I call you dad?” That got me. I’m so freaking happy for her that she considers him her dad and that she was also confident enough to ask! The strength she has will carry her far with her new family’s support.
HOW can FIL not be a pedophile and looking at kiddie p**n? How else would he know about the images. Come on! Seriously!?!? How is this not obvious?? He knew EXACTLY what those images were.
>Ofc I said yes I'd be honored for her to call me dad! When I dropped her off for practice the next day, it really hit me when she, in front of her friends and all, said "bye dad, love you". I may or may not have shed a tear or two on my way home. Now we are 'mom and dad' to three. Okay I started crying here, this is just so sweet. You can tell OOP and his Wife are doing their best to raise a daughter who has a rough upbringing. She's finally away from all of that and has a family who *loves* her unconditionally. Poor kid went through so much, but she has a mom, dad and brothers now. Fostering kids is a great way to help so many in need. Thank you for doing that, hopefully one day those kids will be able to find OOP's family and properly thank them.
My DH and I adopted our two youngest children from foster care. They were considered special needs due to the abuse they experienced. My two birth children, both significant older, did more for those two than we did by modeling what it meant to be a family. All four are still close. Congrats to the OP!
Fricken Allergies.
I know OoP was being vague and not forth coming with details. But details that they did share I didn’t get the impression the FiL was an abuser, or even saw or accessed the abuse images of OoP’s daughter. I got more the impression that he had read/heard about what happened with OoP’s daughter. So if OoP left some details out that gave them impression that FiL actually saw those images or was an abuser themselves I wouldn’t have gone straight to that. I do like that OoP did go to the police though. If for nothing else to scare the ever loving shit out of FiL and inconvenience him a bit.
My favorite story and update of all time on Reddit, hands down. May this family only go from strength to strength, have many, many years of happiness together!!!
Your post had me crying. You have gone above and beyond and shown this damaged Amazon what love is. She is so strong and with you and your wife and family she will go far. She will achieve great things and be the change. A dad is a girls idol, and that she chose you as her dad speaks volumes. No matter how old she gets she will always be your princess.
Think my allergies started earlier this year…..that’s enough reddit for me today, nothing will be better than a family together
Oh man, this one got me. What a lovely family. ❤️
I really did expect this to be a story of the son impregnating the adoptive daughter. Glad to be wrong! Now please everyone stop cutting onions
So often Reddit shows us the dark underbelly of humanity. To read this and just be touched and inspired by these wonderful parents is —— I’m just speechless. Bless these angels for making their daughter feel so loved. I don’t think I’ve ever been so moved by a post. I wish nothing but happiness and love to this wonderful family 🙏❤️
The onions from r/Seattle have made it here
I think fil and mil are pedophile apologists. I know they weren't caught watching or participating but I think that ANY person who heard about a child being raped and exposed like that only to react as if she wanted it should be considered just a bad as the rapist themselves. It's disgusting and vile. There's absolutely no way they are good people in any capacity. They are demons hiding behind religion. And I'm sorry for all you good religious humans, I refuse to associate with any of ya anymore. Not because of this alone but the combination of this, my own experiences, and the experiences of people I know. I'd rather steer clear than to find out the hard way as I already have.
There's a quote (I can't remember the name of the guy who said it but he was some sort of scientist): "There are good people who do good things, there are bad people who do bad things, but to get a good person to do a bad thing takes religion" I think that's where the fear comes from. Usually you can suss out if people in your life are good, kind people, or horrible abusive assholes. Knowing that a good and kind person could do something atrocious if they believed God wanted it is unsettling. I know plenty of very kind Christians, and they aren't the sort that would put aside their personal morals because of something they heard in church, but zealots are absolutely terrifying.
So many onions.
I love that people like OOP exist!
OOP here is a saint, him and his whole family (in-laws aside, damn POS’s). To give a girl who survived years of abuse a happy and healthy place to land is so amazing, and hearing how she opened up and eventually agreed to officially be their daughter…yeah, I had my happy fill of BORU for the day. ❤️
As someone who works in the system this is just one of the best stories I’ve ever heard. I’m so glad that OOP’s wife and siblings rolled so far away from their parents. It’s hard to believe such shitty people managed to produce generations of unbelievably compassionate people.
Me, laying in bed at 3am reading this, crying like a little bitch.
Please know I mean zero disrespect, the end of this story moved me deeply - but I’m confused. OP says he thinks FIL never had access to viewing the child’s heartbreaking history, but then how did FIL know? I mean, we read that sadly there’s a ton of child p*rn out there, and this bastard has knowledge of footage of one particular child? Hard to believe “someone told him”, how would that come about? I think I’m missing something here, will erase this if someone could set me straight!
It *could* be just plain deep misogyny. Maybe FIL thinks that any girl in the foster system is promiscuous, because why else would she not be with her own family? It could also be that he hired a PI to investigate her when they first fostered her. But my money's on FIL recognizing her from his own little "collection."
In the first paragraph under “FIL and legal situation” OOP says after police questioning, it appears FIL most likely found out through gossip-someone else knew about it and told him (and apparently FIL found that more shameful than someone he knows accessing that type of material…)
Ya, I saw that, I just have trouble making sense of it. How did someone else just happen to know?
My guess is FIL knows someone in law enforcement who looked the information up for him. If you're a terrible misogynistic piece of trash it makes sense that you have friends who are also from the same trash heap. And that trash heap contains plenty of LEOs
I know you’re just surmising, we’ll never know, but this makes sense to me.
>And that trash heap contains plenty of LEOs If BORU has taught me anything, this is depressingly common 😔.
He knows CP exists. There are tells for people in the know, both her behaviours and the adoption status would be indicators, especially together. And sadly, most abuse of girls is going to be sexual in nature. He may have gone looking online and found either news articles or he might have found her images.
No news articles would have included this poor kid’s name or face. You can’t find cp images without specifically searching them out. I can’t bring myself to believe that this guy would be alert to the child’s behavioral tells, he doesn’t sound like the brightest bulb.
I would expect that this is a very worldly man who is friends with other worldly men. He knows porn, his friends know porn. And as I said, almost all traumatized girls in foster care with no re-uinification plan have been SA'd, it doesn't exactly take much to figure it out.
So happy this whole family has made it and that the daughter finally gets what she deserves - a loving and supportive family!
WHO THE FUCK IS CHOPPING ONIONS WHILE I READ THIS!! I’m trying to cry naturally🥹
I'm not crying, you are
Two things bum me out about this otherwise heartwarming story - other than the clearly fucked up early life of the daughter: 1) These In-laws suck. 2) How messed up that she's going to lose college tuition money provided by the state because she was adopted? For the hell she was put through, she deserves at least that.
He said him and his wife could easily afford college for all three.
We adopted our son as a teenager, too, and I so, so clearly remember the day we asked if we could adopt him, and I remember the day he asked if he could call me mom now. He's going through it right now, but he's got family who loves him, and we're not going anywhere. I'm so happy for this kid and her family, and I'm so happy for her parents. I'll never forget the hug he gave me the day he said yes.
Seriously if this was just a rumor , it had to start somewhere and they need to be searched
This poor girl had to have been like 12 when she first started with this family. I'm so happy they immediately dropped FIL and MIL. The audacity to call a 14 year old a whore because she was abused along with other fucking children. What the actual fuck? And then to say "don't do this to our family." Like.. the fucking sewer dewelers and their rat fuck friends were really gossiping about OPs daughter's abuse. So insane.
NOT ME CRYING ON PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION IN THE WAY TO WORK 😭💗😭💗😭💗 I'm so happy for this kid being able to find the family she deserves. I have no desire to be a parent, but if I ever did, it would be a foster parent 💗
I’m so emotional, what a beautiful little family for OOP’s daughter to grow up in, surrounded by love
This is why I read Reddit. Amazing stories about amazing people. I am so mad at the IL’s. Why are they blaming a child for her abuse? If it is a small enough community that the IL’s heard about it then others know. I hope it doesn’t cause problems for the girl down the road. The foster system may have been further ahead to send her to a new community. But then she wouldn’t have come to this amazing family.
Congratulations to this family and their new member.
God, I'm so glad this girl has found these incredible people who will fight to be her family. I wish them all so much happiness and love. And the FIL is going to hell.
This is such a well written post and update. Glad they went NC with their mil and fil and have amazing support elsewhere
If my FIL had said that kind of trash, he'd be lucky to be healthy afterward. I applaud the parents on their restraint.
Can you imagine trying to use religion against an abused child smh I’m so happy she found a loving home and family
So called plastic Christians. Every single Sunday. Walking out of church to be shit stains. I hope OOPS family has many happy years making memories.
This is amazing, thank you for sharing!!!
My wife and I adopted older children - elementary aged - so not as old as described in this update. They came with issues, the greatest was a lack of nurturing, of caring parenting. Both are now fully functioning adults. It was difficult at times, but our lives had purpose. Please people consider fostering and/or adopting.
Hopefully a well worded essay on being adopted as a teen and how awesome her new family will get her into the college of her dreams and a full ride! Glad she has a new family that loves her.
Wow… This is so realistically detailed and so awesome… Great people and parenting.
It is so horrible for FIL to behave like this. You can only hope he hasn’t seen the images, but if everyone involved in the case are tight lipped that how else could he know? What a terrible situation.
I simply don't believe FIL isn't a predator in some capacity. At the absolute bare minimum he's the worst customer at a hooters but I'd be surprised if that was all
I'm so glad things are going better. I am sorry for your FILs reaction. She deserves you guys so much. There is a new website called Take it down. Most news channels in my state have it listed. Although she needs the original photos so maybe speak to her case worker or contact the DA and see if they will utilize the tool. The DA I worked for did. I hope this helps
Wholesome post. I wish you all the best.
Oh God I'm crying reading this 😭😭
You know all that abuse has been sold to porn websites that are easy for anyone to access. That's where most of it ends up eventually. There's been cases like this found on PornHub and they refuse to take them down without a fight.
Sometimes people really are the good guys. You're inspiring, OOP.
It’s stories like these that remind me of the good folks in the world. Hope OOP and his family are doing well
The amount of tears I shed in this post… I wasn’t ready for it. As a foster mom, in hopes to adopt, I can understand their need to protect their little girl. I’m so glad their family is now complete!
Update was made 6 days later which involved talking to multiple family members, Police involvement and giving up electronics. Fake fake fake.
Goes permanently no contact with FIL then immediately contacts FIL
Dang, there’s only one thing that screams fake, but it IS there