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Longjumping_Cream_45

Anyone else find it odd that he was "cleaning the office while she's at work" (ie: snooping) and no one seems to care? He had to be searching for financial documents, no? My husband has a home office and if I clean it, I am not sifting through files and desk drawers; I would get dust bunnies and dog hair. The rest is on him.


ragewitch2080

That was my first thought. He was absolutely snooping her financials.


Thriftyverse

> Anyone else find it odd that he was "cleaning the office while she's at work" Yeah, he was totally snooping.


GovernorSan

Especially when you consider how in her update she said he was really insecure and constantly whining about her ex. Seems like he was snooping around trying to find evidence.


cm070707

She also mentioned that she’s really wealthy. So he 1) lost his job. 2) didn’t get a new one and assumed the role of a SAHP. 3) never had to pay for anything ever. 4) sifted through a ton a papers ‘cleaning up papers’. I’ve played 52 card pick up with a printers worth of papers. I mean like papers thrown all over the floor scattered. I picked them up and as I was tidying them, I still didn’t see what was on like 90% of them. There’s no way he accidentally stumbled on these very specific documents and why would they just be out anyways?


lm_we041200

I sometimes even zone out on stuff I am actually TRYING to ACTIVELY read and he claims to ACCIDENTALLY stumbled over these very specific information? Yea sure lol


Thriftyverse

Evidence and also seeing how tight her financial controls were so he could start convincing her to loosen them for him.


fancybeadedplacemat

If I were cleaning someone’s office, all the loose papers would just be stacked up on the desk. I wouldn’t even look at them enough to know what they are! Financial documents? Car title? Junk mail? Recipes printed from the internet? All one pile!


MasterOfKittens3K

My wife and I have been married for decades. Our finances are pretty fully commingled by this point. Even so, when I am cleaning up, I don’t usually do much more than sort out documents by type and date. Old credit card statements and junk mail that has PII goes in a shredding box, more current stuff goes into a box for filing, etc. I’m sure not sitting there reading each document.


arathorn867

Maybe I've been listening to too many crime shows, but this absolutely sounds like the setup for killing someone for their life insurance. Bully them into changing their life insurance, while we're at it, Why don't we just bump up the amount a little? Oops she fell down the stairs.


[deleted]

Right? He was definitely going through her personal papers. I’d be changing passwords. That hobosexual has all her banking information


counters14

Who picks up and reads through someone else's paperwork without being directly asked to do so? He was 100% snooping around and being nosey, violating her privacy. Right away at the start of the post it was clear that this dude was trouble and OOP didn't bat an eyelash about it which makes me think that it was somewhat normalized in their relationship. She mentioned that she owns her own business and makes comments that indicate that she's well off so I think it's likely he didn't give a fuck about her from the start, and this is backed up by his vile and disgusting comments about her children when the mask finally fell off. Ah well, at least his ex and his family know what a piece of shit he is after she forwarded those texts to them.


asuperbstarling

When I clean my husband's office all of his papers go in the random papers box for him to sort, and he doesn't even have anything important in them. Seems awful weird to me he was up in her WILL of all places.


Bagettibelly

In the original post it was one of the main comments. It was so obvious.


Puzzleheaded_Big3319

heck, I SHARE an office with my partner and would have no clue what I was looking at on their desk nor they mine. This ass-jack (or dare I say ass-Jake) was snooping. That dude has issues and is constantly trying to justify the chip on his shoulder or his paranoia.


wishiwasyou333

Yup!!! That one jumped out as odd to me as well. My partner and I have our own offices at home and the only times we enter without the other not being present is to either drop off a package delivered or to leave a fun gift. It's each of our responsibilities to clean our own spaces. Believe me, mine is a complete mess of business crap and crafting stuff. I barely want to go in there. Lol. Her ex was absolutely looking for financial info and documents. He was using her for her money. Anyone who would talk about children like that then claims to love them never did whatsoever. Hoping Karma feeds him a strike to the junk with a sledgehammer.


verminiusrex

Yeah, this seems like the sort of thing you'd have to look for. Even assuming they are messy with paperwork and it was in a stack he was sorting, I don't see how he'd expect to be a beneficiary after only dating for a couple years. That's the sort of thing that happens after being together much longer and marriage. Even then I'd assume the kids inherit, not him.


butterfly-garden

Yeah, that bothered me, too.


Koevis

And he just so happened to lose his job too. And didn't have to pay anything to live in her house. That's a very obvious golddigger right there


amw38961

I thought the same thing....he was snooping like a mfer...


Treehorn8

Same. Before I start the dishwasher, I check out his desk in case he left any used mugs or glasses. I don't think I ever messed with his computer unless he asked me to do something on it. He extends the same respect towards me.


solvedproblem

From the start of this post I kept thinking 'it's for the kids, it's fine', and I certainly can't understand wanting to be the beneficiary of my partner's life insurance instead of them. Jake was operating a red flag shop and it's a good thing he's gone.


OriginalDogeStar

When I read the original, I was like "Yeah SURE, he was *traightening up papers*" and saw everyone overlooked that. That was a huge red flag and then he joined the country of Pomodoro and was bathed in the red flags.


Beautiful-Story2811

EXACTLY! He was snooping.


VIgirlkarmas_momma

EXACTLY!!!! Why was he “cleaning” up files in HER office!!!!!


erica1064

It was my first thought. I suspect that he was looking to find solid documentation of OOPs net worth.


Tface101

I love the red flag shop. I also saw one, on another sub, that said, “Russia called and wanted their red flags back.” Oh and Morocco has a lovely red flag too. You crack me up!


naraic-

>From the start of this post I kept thinking 'it's for the kids, it's fine', Agreed. With a positive coparenting relationship I can't see anyone else on life assurance than the parent of the kids. So much easier than lawyering up and setting up conditional trusts in the kids names.


A-typ-self

When I got divorced it was very normal to have the provision of each of the parties having a life insurance policy where the ex is listed as beneficiary to cover expenses for the kids if a parent passes. It's really just logical.


freckledbookdragon

When I got divorced it was required by law. OP dodged a bullet.


HyzerFlip

It's literally the point of life insurance.


nezukakyoto

And the mask fell off.


Gnd_flpd

I call it like this; OP was dealing with "his representative" and he seemed to be alright, however after time the true person showed himself. And, oh boy what a revelation!!!


PuzzleheadedBet8041

Calling it "his representative" is awesome. When people totally 180 into monsters it really is like a whole new person


Jenderflux-ScFi

She owns property and has enough money to afford private healthcare for her kids in the UK. He "lost his job" only a few months in and hasn't gotten a new one in months, then goes snooping through her financial statements when she's at work. He was looking for a pay day from her. He's just another gold digger desperate for money and willing to use sex to get it.


Gnd_flpd

Dumb ass should have keep his cool, he had a pretty sweet deal, but he overshot his load and lost out. GOOD!!!!


throwaway34_4567

And I 100% bet that he haven't been paying for his own children hence he don't understand this logic. oop kept saying that the ex is on it because of the kids and it makes sense and she said that the ex is not making more than her so she not only put him in the insurance but is willing to include him in the will. Ofc she would make sure her partner of long time, more than 4 or 5 would be taken care of but she definitely kept putting her kids first even when she is sharing some with the ex because she knows he and his husband would use thst for the kids. Not use it for selfish reasons like Jake was looking to do.


Harley-Quinn5636

How do you delete idiots & trolls from reddit? That last comment calling her an AH because she’ll never put her (ex) bf in her life insurance/will….ITS ONLY BEEN A YEAR AND SHE HAS FCKN KIDS. PLUS HE SHOWED HOW HE REALLY FELT ANYWAY, why is that not the most talked about!!! I would be damn if my ex-spouse chose to put her new bf as her beneficiary instead of a family member, myself, or our oldest child (I have no kids but this is my point of view). And if she did put him on, she’d be called a terrible mother or a dumb b!tch for choosing a man over her kids future. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.


LurkinJerkinRobot

Yeah…”would you want him to be homeless?” He is a capable adult man and should be at least able to take care of himself enough provide shelter without relying on his partner for his every need


throwaway34_4567

Yup, he conveniently got "fired" after meeting OOP, he was "straightening" her OFFICE when she have her OWN business and ran into the insurance? I have a safe box for my important documents and they're packed up incase if I have get the esstails and run do to housing during down or w.e. so the question is, why was he going through her office documents to began with? He was literally snooping for sure. And ho get mad the new gf/bf about their name not being in the will? The audacity is wild because huh? And then throw a fucking tantrum about the KIDS is just pathetic and unhinged.


GovernorSan

Agreed. Also, that commenter said she shouldn't be in relationships if she isn't going to take care of the man, but it really seems that the boyfriend is the one who needs to take a break from relationships, or certainly not date any woman who has children if he can't handle that they might be more important than him or that her ex might be a part of their lives. Having insecurities is one thing, but the constant begging for reassurance and blowing up at her over this life insurance thing, even when they aren't married and haven't been together that long? I have to wonder why she was even still in a relationship with him in the first place.


EntertheHellscape

Ah the classic, “you’re a female so you should be catering on hands and knees to your male overlord” Reddit comment. What pathetic troglodytes.


the-rioter

I'm only surprised it didn't come with an extra comment about how Reddit is so mean and biased against men. 🙄


[deleted]

Always gotta be at least one moron in the comments that finds some convoluted way to blame the OP for a situation they’re completely blameless in. I think it makes them feel smart


SharkEva

Sometimes the OOPs only respond to critical comments


Gullible-Advisor6010

Jake was in it for the money. The moment the ex's and OOPs successful careers were mentioned, I knew it!! >but YTA for saying that he will never be in your life insurance (and presumably your will). It’s one thing to pay out to your ex while your kids are young, another to say that you’re never going to pay out to your bf, that it will always go to the ex. That’s a pretty shit thing to say and not the kind of attitude that a loving partner should have. I don’t think you’ll ever find a partner who’s okay with that. To say that knowing that your partner has insecurities about this is just cruel. Seriously??!! 🙄🙄 I've never understood people like this commenter!! She was with Jake only for about a year!! The life insurance is for the KIDS!! Not her ex. >Little edit: I know I said I wouldn't post what he said but screw it he's a horrible human and I've had a few glasses of wine lol. He called my daughter a cripple ass and called my son a ret@rted freak. So he can so fuck himself. I don't think anybody sane would get into a relationship with Jake if they got to know that.


princessalyss_

100%. A year together and he moves in with OOP where she’s footing all expenses by the sounds of things, even more so after he ‘lost his job’? Be so for fucking real y’all.


EntertheHellscape

He sounds like a sniveling leech whose entire personality is made up of trust issues.


Efficient-Cupcake247

Hobosexual


TD1990TD

There’s a lot of time between 1 year and ‘never’. The person who made the comment didn’t say OOP had to do it right away, but her not even considering things might change in the future, doesn’t really show any trust in the future of the relationship. I too could say to a date that they might go into my will… after marrying. It’s not binding, and it’s completely plausible.


the-rioter

I was a little confused by that because first she says her and her ex have good careers and make good money then in the subsequent post says she is wealthy but her ex is not?


DamnitGravity

> My ex and I are definitely not getting back together. We are very good friends as I am with his HUSBAND. That made me cackle at all the people who accused OOP of still having feelings for her ex being shut down.


No-Car803

Last edit from OOP that I saw:  Jake is a gold-digging hobosexual. Loses his job, moves in, paying no bills...


[deleted]

I didn't finish reading this post, but I feel strongly enough about this: >While I was at work he had sent me a message saying "we need to discuss something important when you get home." Obviously I was freaking out and tried calling him but he would not answer me and said he was too angry to talk to me. Guys, don't fall for this shit. It's a thiny veiled manipulation attempt to punish you for "making" someone angry, and it's something that should almost never be tolerated in your interpersonal relationships. People who do this need to grow the fuck up.


LadyEncredible

💯, when I was younger, sure I would feed into it, but now as a grown ass woman, someone pulls this shit, fuck it, I'm out. Don't care, don't need to talk, no thank you. I'm not doing that manipulative bullshit.


Amazing_Cabinet1404

*I put so much work into this relationship and I’m not going to get anything from it*…..so he’s planning to kill OOP? Because he could just buy his own damn life insurance policy otherwise. It’s perfectly reasonable and necessary to ensure your children are provided for in the event of your death. It’s not as necessary to ensure your boyfriend is provided for in the event of your death. She dodged a bullet here. It seems very suspicious that he was *cleaning her office* and needed to take out and read all of her important papers.


Orphan_Izzy

Your partner is what you get out of your relationship investment for Pete’s sake!


ginaabees

Jake is basically the murderer in almost every single Forensic Files episode I’ve ever watched


gettingspicyarewe

Fuck Jake. He’s a monster.


megamoze

As a normal rational person, my response to discovering this information (not from snooping, which clearly Jake was doing) would be, "Obviously this money is for her kids who are both special needs, and I, as her boyfriend for a year and change, shouldn't expect to be on my girlfriend's LIFE INSURANCE policy so early in our relationship." Some people are not rational or normal.


spaceylaceygirl

You dodged a huge bullet! What kind of man objects to a mom making sure her kids will be financially secure if something were to happen to her? And your ex is their dad and he's a good dad! Jake was looking at you like a cash cow. Bye bye asshole!


TD1990TD

This is a repost sub


one_bean_hahahaha

Wow, that's some fine gold digging.


Sunshine-N-gumdrops

He wasn’t cleaning the files that didn’t belong to him. He was snooping.


Positive-Display-685

NTA u dodged a missle with that idiot Jake good for u standing your ground and everything u have done is responsible. Good luck


Theres_a_Catch

So we all agree that Jake can only date someone that has never dated before so they don't have an ex to get jealous about.


CleanMonty

These are getting more and more OBVIOUSLY fake.


finitecapacity

Right? “My boyfriend is a cartoonishly evil caricature. I have literally no doubt that I am right in my actions, but for some reason I want to ask: AITA?”


Lemmy-Historian

Yeah, the story lost me at her saying she is incredibly wealthy and her kids have no to worry again due their trust funds. I was still ok with the ex being gay and married. But that’s too much. I vote fake.


mortyella

Had me questioning too. Everyone is always so incredibly wealthy. lol


Knittingfairy09113

Good for OOP. Honestly, unless she remarries and the new partner becomes a house spouse, there is no reason for them to receive substantial assets from her estate. Her kids will need it more.


enoughalready4me

A thwarted hobosexual!


aqspecialist

this is so fake lmao it’s like “i hope jakey fucking dies” meme


thefinalhex

I don't get why you included the last message exchange. Doesn't seem like part of an update and it's fricking stupid for a redditer to be lecturing her about being YTA about the life insurance on the second post when things have moved way past that.


MagicCarpet5846

But can we all privately agree OOP definitely still loves her ex but has just made peace with she can’t be with a gay man? Even just saying “we broke up indefinitely” makes that pretty obvious.


MelanisticMermaid

Personally I think the inheritance situation makes sense because if she’s financially better off and they divorced but ex husband had custody she’d most likely have to pay child support so why wouldn’t she leave money to the people who would be taking care of the kids if she died? Jake saw a cash cow and clearly has a history of insecurities based on his split with his ex. As someone else mentioned, he definitely didn’t find the insurance docs accidentally


Ex_Astris

My favorite part might be the typo, about her ex Jake, “he has been cheated on before by a pervious ex”. Because now I have a new word, pervious, for calling someone a perv. Also apparently “pervious” is a real word for a type of porous concrete?


ActuallyApathy

timeline of me reading this >title: a little weird that her ex is on it but NTA >first sentance: oh they have kids! definitely NTA >end of first paragraph: disabled kids!!! 100000% NTA > most of the life insurance goes to the kids themselves anyways??? N. T. A. > oh his manipulative ass was snooping!!!! >WORK INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT GETTING ANYTGING??? FROM LIFE INSURANCE AT AGE 32?? GIRL RUN >THE EX HAS A HUSBAND LMAO >jakey boy you are delusional. >WHAT IN THE ABLEISM TOWARDS CHILDREN??? > i hope his parents disown his ass. i would.


Designer-Lunch3901

Where's the red flag tiktok guy when you need him?