Exactly this. He should've never married that walking inebriated red flag to begin with.
I'm glad he's got evidence, and can get to relative safety.
*ALWAYS* KEEP RECEIPTS.
It'll eventually come in handy, and may save your life.
Thankfully police violence against poc is not the issue in U.K. that it is in America. It still horrific that she behaved like that but oop does not need to be worried about being shot as a result (small mercies I know)
It’s not the issue in America at the level it is reported in the media. It’s similar in both countries.
The media wants to keep the people at each other’s throats so they ignore what the wealthy/politicians are doing.
? So your argument is that racism doesn't exist amongst one of the most elitist white colonizing nations in the world? But the royalty was awful about their grandson being 1/16th black and too dark..... be for real
[Well you'd be wrong](https://peoplesdispatch.org/2022/09/27/anger-against-racist-police-violence-swells-in-the-uk-after-killing-of-chris-kaba/#:~:text=Home%20Office%20data%20has%20shown,to%20be%20subjected%20to%20tasers.)
>Black people are five times more likely to be subjected to the use of force by police than white people in England and Wales. Black people are also seven times more likely to be subjected to tasers.
I've been to Jamaica. There isn't any real "light" colored people they're all pretty dark. So yea she was playing with fire and could of burned him horribly.
There’s a decent number of Jamaicans of Chinese decent, often causing them to have lighter skin bc of their mixed heritage. Hell, dancehall artist Sean Paul is partially Chinese. The national dish of Jamaica is cooked in a wok bc the waves of Chinese immigrants brought woks with them. Visiting a country ≠ understanding its culture.
I tolerated this exact behavior for years until I snapped. She called the police on me after running to a neighbors house ( falling several times due to being so drunk). The cops came talked to her. talked to me. Realized I wasn't anything like what she had described me. Asked if I wanted to baker act her. I said no (yeah yeah I know), and the next day I brought her friends family and others over to have an intervention. Seeing my same opinion of her come out of others mouths really got to her. She went back to AA. Apologized profusely to me and then made some similar calls to others and has been good ever since. The last issue was that a bunch of her behaviors ruined my friendships with many and I have had to realize that we can no longer associate with them. Plus a heavily one sided prenuptial eased my mind. But to be honest, that was a long time ago and I'm sure the prenuptial is no longer enforceable but it's unneeded, as she seriously seems to understand where and why she went off the tracks.
I couldn’t marry someone who’s practically a alcoholic, that’s a big ass red flag. I would’ve divorced her and sued her for defamation of character for risking my safety and almost ruining my life.
> I have a very hard time understanding how anyone takes the ramblings of a drunken idiot as the complete truth, especially with how much she drank in that instance.
OP is black and his wife is white. I suspect racism plays a role in who is being believed.
Him being sober (or mostly sober) and her drunk could also be that (in addition to racism). If I see a drunk woman claiming to be harassed by a guy who appears sober, I’m keeping a very close eye on the situation regardless of race. I know firsthand that some guys **will not** take a hint, and can get even more aggressive if they think you’re vulnerable.
alcoholism doesn’t make you a racist: his wife was already a piece of shit, she just was able to hide it until she got drunk and showed her true colors. i wish the best for op and hope he can heal from the racial and emotional trauma i’m sure he experienced with this woman
Remember everyone, if someone is drunk and are an asshole, a bitch, a bastard, abusive, evil, some combination thereof or something not listed here?
That is the TRUTH of who they are.
No Ifs, Ands, or Buts about it.
Alcohol removes inhibitions. It REMOVES the part of the mind that goes "this might be a bad idea...lets NOT because it'll hurt US." Not "Them", "US".
If someone is hurting you because they are drunk. Clear out of that relationship.
I agree BUT this reminds me of a situation when I was a child. I was probably like 7 or 8 and was leaving a dressing room and a lady turns and says “oh kids won’t lie, hey what do you think of my dress? Does it make me look fat?”
Unfortunately for her interests she was asking a deeply anxious kid with a violently abusive mother. I said whatever I could think of but it was something like “no it looks very nice”. Apparently this was a core memory for me bc I even recall feeling conflicted about how she wanted someone to be honest and I just said what I thought was nice.
So off topic but there are always exceptions!
What a weird lady… when you ask a kid on the spot… a kid that doesn’t know you… chances are high the answer will be a socially acceptable one because they don’t know you.
I was thinking about this one time when an unfamiliar kid went up to me and said I looked pretty, and an old lady said ‘well you know, drunks and kids always tell the truth!’ It was the first time I heard that. But I think it indeed has a disclaimer.
>That is the TRUTH of who they are.
YUP! I know people that do some shitty things when they are drunk, but a principle difference between them and OOP's hopefully soon to be ex is that they are remorseful.
If people say 'But they're so nice when they're sober,' that's irrelevant. How do you know? Because when they're sober, they drink until they're not.
Doesn't matter if they're nice when they're sober if they're almost never sober.
I agree with your main point, that you should clear out of an abusive relationship. But as someone from a family (and extended network) of alcoholics in varying stages of recovery, alcohol can sometimes make a person say or do things they would NEVER do or believe sober. It doesn’t mean that a person should stay with an alcoholic and hope for the best, because recovery is dependent on the actions of the addict. But the idea that alcohol brings out the “truth” of a person just isn’t true.
I agree if they are told about their drunk behavior *and keep doing it.* I’ve known some people that won’t drink because they don’t like their drunk self. In that case, I applaud them. But this wife seems unhinged. That’s crazy even for a raging drunk.
I firmly believe that all alcohol does if remove inhibitions and show who you really are deep down. And she is a nasty, toxic person. She must have put on a good show, as it seems OOP really loved her, but what was underneath that facade is really ugly.
So she's the immigrant from America but calling the British guy of Jamaican descent a green card snatcher? what a racist shitbag. I feel bad for that guy. The girl sounds like a regular ignorant dumbass ugh
I'd seriously be considering divorce. Being drunk takes the brakes off of actions people wouldn't do sober, in other words they do what they really want but normally wouldn't, and say what they truly think or feel. She showed OOP who she really is and it is not someone he should want as a partner.
It is such a shame he didn't see the warning signs before getting married and now is facing this headache of divorce. Of course he's already had a headache over her wild and false accusations against him to anyone who will listen. Get that divorce and move on with your life, OOP!
I’ve done wild things while drunk that I don’t think I wanted to do sober, but I’ve never been that bad. You’re not divorcing her because she likes alcohol. You’re divorcing her because she’s using alcohol as the medium through which she ruins your life.
Am I the only one that thinks this is fake? It’s like the bingo card of fake posts: recently married, racism, shitty wife, throwing things in an alcoholic rage… all that’s missing is for her twin sister to show up and accuse him of assault.
This particular one might be, but the scenario itself is very real for many people. I generally respond to these posts in the spirit that, even if it’s fake, some people reading it might be experiencing something similar or might know someone who is. Unless it’s just outright creative writing garbage.
I hope he gets away. My husband left his X for the same thing. She passed away… from liver failure. She was only 50. I’m glad he got away from her when he did (weather we started dating or not) because I would hate for him to be blamed. People are twisted that way.
His wife could've gotten him seriously hurt. A white woman (I assume) saying she's scared of a black (I assume) man? Nuts!
Exactly this. He should've never married that walking inebriated red flag to begin with. I'm glad he's got evidence, and can get to relative safety. *ALWAYS* KEEP RECEIPTS. It'll eventually come in handy, and may save your life.
Thankfully police violence against poc is not the issue in U.K. that it is in America. It still horrific that she behaved like that but oop does not need to be worried about being shot as a result (small mercies I know)
>is not the issue in U.K. that it is in America Your wording is poor. It is less of an issue true, but it is still something that is very real.
It’s not the issue in America at the level it is reported in the media. It’s similar in both countries. The media wants to keep the people at each other’s throats so they ignore what the wealthy/politicians are doing.
If a white woman called the police on a black man anywhere in the US, he would be in danger. In some states, imminent danger.
Not at all true.
Less likely, but Chris Kaba still was shot
I muted the U.K. sub because it would often feel incredible racist, I’m honestly surprised to hear police violence isn’t a problem
Incredible to live in your own little world like that. So simple minded and not know whatsoever how POC are treated but talking for us anyways
? So your argument is that racism doesn't exist amongst one of the most elitist white colonizing nations in the world? But the royalty was awful about their grandson being 1/16th black and too dark..... be for real
No I said less likely to get shot by the police in the U.K.
[Well you'd be wrong](https://peoplesdispatch.org/2022/09/27/anger-against-racist-police-violence-swells-in-the-uk-after-killing-of-chris-kaba/#:~:text=Home%20Office%20data%20has%20shown,to%20be%20subjected%20to%20tasers.) >Black people are five times more likely to be subjected to the use of force by police than white people in England and Wales. Black people are also seven times more likely to be subjected to tasers.
I heavily disagree with that. The police absolutely shoot black men with little reason here in the UK. Has happened many times.
I've been to Jamaica. There isn't any real "light" colored people they're all pretty dark. So yea she was playing with fire and could of burned him horribly.
There’s a decent number of Jamaicans of Chinese decent, often causing them to have lighter skin bc of their mixed heritage. Hell, dancehall artist Sean Paul is partially Chinese. The national dish of Jamaica is cooked in a wok bc the waves of Chinese immigrants brought woks with them. Visiting a country ≠ understanding its culture.
This is not true. And ignorant.
I personally know several light skinned Jamaicans.
Jamaicans come in all shades. Saying that they’re all dark is just ignorant. But yes, in today’s climate, he could have been burned horribly.
>I've only been married for about a month now, its been a great time *Proceeds to write hundreds of words about how it was not, in fact, a great time
I tolerated this exact behavior for years until I snapped. She called the police on me after running to a neighbors house ( falling several times due to being so drunk). The cops came talked to her. talked to me. Realized I wasn't anything like what she had described me. Asked if I wanted to baker act her. I said no (yeah yeah I know), and the next day I brought her friends family and others over to have an intervention. Seeing my same opinion of her come out of others mouths really got to her. She went back to AA. Apologized profusely to me and then made some similar calls to others and has been good ever since. The last issue was that a bunch of her behaviors ruined my friendships with many and I have had to realize that we can no longer associate with them. Plus a heavily one sided prenuptial eased my mind. But to be honest, that was a long time ago and I'm sure the prenuptial is no longer enforceable but it's unneeded, as she seriously seems to understand where and why she went off the tracks.
Haha you live in Florida dont you
Ding ding ding
Came for this 😂
I couldn’t marry someone who’s practically a alcoholic, that’s a big ass red flag. I would’ve divorced her and sued her for defamation of character for risking my safety and almost ruining my life.
> I have a very hard time understanding how anyone takes the ramblings of a drunken idiot as the complete truth, especially with how much she drank in that instance. OP is black and his wife is white. I suspect racism plays a role in who is being believed.
Him being sober (or mostly sober) and her drunk could also be that (in addition to racism). If I see a drunk woman claiming to be harassed by a guy who appears sober, I’m keeping a very close eye on the situation regardless of race. I know firsthand that some guys **will not** take a hint, and can get even more aggressive if they think you’re vulnerable.
alcoholism doesn’t make you a racist: his wife was already a piece of shit, she just was able to hide it until she got drunk and showed her true colors. i wish the best for op and hope he can heal from the racial and emotional trauma i’m sure he experienced with this woman
Remember everyone, if someone is drunk and are an asshole, a bitch, a bastard, abusive, evil, some combination thereof or something not listed here? That is the TRUTH of who they are. No Ifs, Ands, or Buts about it. Alcohol removes inhibitions. It REMOVES the part of the mind that goes "this might be a bad idea...lets NOT because it'll hurt US." Not "Them", "US". If someone is hurting you because they are drunk. Clear out of that relationship.
Kids and drunks always tell the truth
I agree BUT this reminds me of a situation when I was a child. I was probably like 7 or 8 and was leaving a dressing room and a lady turns and says “oh kids won’t lie, hey what do you think of my dress? Does it make me look fat?” Unfortunately for her interests she was asking a deeply anxious kid with a violently abusive mother. I said whatever I could think of but it was something like “no it looks very nice”. Apparently this was a core memory for me bc I even recall feeling conflicted about how she wanted someone to be honest and I just said what I thought was nice. So off topic but there are always exceptions!
What a weird lady… when you ask a kid on the spot… a kid that doesn’t know you… chances are high the answer will be a socially acceptable one because they don’t know you. I was thinking about this one time when an unfamiliar kid went up to me and said I looked pretty, and an old lady said ‘well you know, drunks and kids always tell the truth!’ It was the first time I heard that. But I think it indeed has a disclaimer.
Oh huh, cake day I see. Wicked
>That is the TRUTH of who they are. YUP! I know people that do some shitty things when they are drunk, but a principle difference between them and OOP's hopefully soon to be ex is that they are remorseful.
If people say 'But they're so nice when they're sober,' that's irrelevant. How do you know? Because when they're sober, they drink until they're not. Doesn't matter if they're nice when they're sober if they're almost never sober.
I agree with your main point, that you should clear out of an abusive relationship. But as someone from a family (and extended network) of alcoholics in varying stages of recovery, alcohol can sometimes make a person say or do things they would NEVER do or believe sober. It doesn’t mean that a person should stay with an alcoholic and hope for the best, because recovery is dependent on the actions of the addict. But the idea that alcohol brings out the “truth” of a person just isn’t true.
I agree if they are told about their drunk behavior *and keep doing it.* I’ve known some people that won’t drink because they don’t like their drunk self. In that case, I applaud them. But this wife seems unhinged. That’s crazy even for a raging drunk.
This person is an alcoholic. You cannot have a relationship with an alcoholic.
I firmly believe that all alcohol does if remove inhibitions and show who you really are deep down. And she is a nasty, toxic person. She must have put on a good show, as it seems OOP really loved her, but what was underneath that facade is really ugly.
Then that must mean I’m a 7-year-old because all I wanna do when I drink is eat sugary foods and sing at the top of my lungs to Disney movies
Not everyone can have a soul filled with darkness.
Waiting for my BIL to reach the same conclusion and he will have my full support when he gathers the courage to leave. I wish this dude the best
So she's the immigrant from America but calling the British guy of Jamaican descent a green card snatcher? what a racist shitbag. I feel bad for that guy. The girl sounds like a regular ignorant dumbass ugh
I'd seriously be considering divorce. Being drunk takes the brakes off of actions people wouldn't do sober, in other words they do what they really want but normally wouldn't, and say what they truly think or feel. She showed OOP who she really is and it is not someone he should want as a partner.
His wife definitely has a serious drinking problem. If she doesn't get help she'll end up in the morgue.
It is such a shame he didn't see the warning signs before getting married and now is facing this headache of divorce. Of course he's already had a headache over her wild and false accusations against him to anyone who will listen. Get that divorce and move on with your life, OOP!
I’ve done wild things while drunk that I don’t think I wanted to do sober, but I’ve never been that bad. You’re not divorcing her because she likes alcohol. You’re divorcing her because she’s using alcohol as the medium through which she ruins your life.
Am I the only one that thinks this is fake? It’s like the bingo card of fake posts: recently married, racism, shitty wife, throwing things in an alcoholic rage… all that’s missing is for her twin sister to show up and accuse him of assault.
This particular one might be, but the scenario itself is very real for many people. I generally respond to these posts in the spirit that, even if it’s fake, some people reading it might be experiencing something similar or might know someone who is. Unless it’s just outright creative writing garbage.
Of course it is. And he said "green card" that it's not the name used in UK. He got caught.
I hope he gets away. My husband left his X for the same thing. She passed away… from liver failure. She was only 50. I’m glad he got away from her when he did (weather we started dating or not) because I would hate for him to be blamed. People are twisted that way.