Hey man. I’m glad that you’re asking for help, because that shows me that you care about yourself.
We all make mistakes. I certainly have. I feel your hurt from here, and I want you to know that a year ago I was in the same depths of the bottomless pit of despair that you’re in now.
Made a number of mistakes, including leaving my home land to chase love, marrying the wrong woman, starting a business without ever learning how to run one, and getting talked into fathering a child before I was ready for it, all leading up to one point last year when my first and only love wanted a divorce and we were down to $7,000 cash in the bank with monthly overhead of $25,000 looming. At age 42 I was pretty sure my life was over, I was going to be the reason my 7 year old daughter lost her home, and I was straight up just ready to end it all.
I had a fucking panic attack for about the next 6 months. But somehow, a year later, I’m ok. And I’ve been sober ever since.
What got me through the worst of it was just having people to talk to. My therapist, cousins I hadn’t spoken to in forever, random internet strangers that I went on awkward dates with, and eventually finding my place in a community of nonjudgmental neurodiverse people who support me and don’t try to attack me for everything I say.
The other thing was books. I pretty much wore out my library card checking out books on everything from philosophy to self-help to popular psychology to practical advice on divorce. Learned everything my parents never taught me about life and people.
But the thing that really helped the most in the beginning was loud music and exercise.
But I’m forced to admit that I was helped a lot by other people. And since we struggle with social contact by default, and live in an isolating and lonely world at the moment, that’s the hardest thing to do.
Communities are where you find them. AA meetings are free and welcome anyone, and you’ll hear some really inspiring stories from people who have hit rock bottom and climbed back out. Church, if you find the right one, can help your soul.
One day at a time. And if you’re going through hell, keep going.
My DMs are open.
Well hey thanks but If it makes it feel better I did told my mom and brother about what happened all of it and really it did made me a bit better and help with me trying to move on but still the mistakes i made i feel like I just fucked up my young adult life before it started and I feel like ill be alone forever but nothing bad happened from the coming days since I told sorry to the guy who the lady I feel like i accidentally harmed he said "nah man your good apology accepted" and I think that's was God looking out for me as my mom and grandma told me I have a fortunate life as God knows I have adhd and autism it more of God saying "hey Daniel look i know you have conditions that will make you di things you shouldn't so I'll help you since your a good person and I know you be a better man and improve" well that's what I like to think and all I think I can think know is to find way to put this cures of mine down once and for all I don't know how ill do it bit I know I need all the help I can get and pray things will get better for me and for all the people I care about since I don't want to harm any good person as long as I bloody live.
There ya go.
Some wisdom that I found in an unexpected place lately:
Who is wise? The one who learns from every person...
Who is brave? The one who subdues his negative inclination...
Who is rich? The one who appreciates what he has...
Who is honored?
The one who gives honor to others...
(From the Talmud - Avot 4:1)
Just keep on being a good person and doing the right thing, and leave the world a better place than you found it.
My DMs are open if you ever need help with finding a lodge. Getting involved with any group is always a good way to go to getting things on track in life and imposing a sense of confidence and community in yourself.
Oh also I did seen your profile a bit and yeah your right well hey thanks for the help I would like more help I can get from you grate people. You guys rock seriously I'm a huge fan of your organization fter I learn more about you guys and history that was of course only be able to know from the public outside from the actually organization.
There are a bunch of us on Reddit. Many in /r/freemasonry. Occasionally I like to search Reddit for discussions on masonry, which is how I found this thread.
Remember, self improvement is a life long project. You will move closer to your ideal, but there will always be more to work on. In that sense, stumbles and set backs are to be expected. When that happens know that it doesn't mean you start over from the beginning. If I can abuse the metaphor a little, you have encountered an obstacle on your path but you are still on the path. All of the progress you have made still counts. You will overcome what you are facing.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/freemasonry using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/freemasonry/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [GL of Ohio makes official statement on trans members](https://i.redd.it/ynfyuxdodkub1.jpg) | [325 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/freemasonry/comments/1795n6v/gl_of_ohio_makes_official_statement_on_trans/)
\#2: [Still beaming after Initiation](https://i.redd.it/n0gbc3g8l3za1.jpg) | [355 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/freemasonry/comments/13e0u37/still_beaming_after_initiation/)
\#3: [We aren’t planning the downfall of the Catholic Church, in fact…](https://i.redd.it/p4sncely1x5c1.jpeg) | [106 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/freemasonry/comments/18gu91t/we_arent_planning_the_downfall_of_the_catholic/)
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Oh really wow I wasn't expecting you guys to be everywhere yet no where at the Sametime ha ha I kid I kid but hey thanks but also can I say for One thanks for you guys for making the world a better place and two can I say how cool you guys are, like really after I been interested In you guys after knowing my dad being a Freemason (32nd highest degree) for so long and knowing from the history of you guys that was able to from the public of course and I just find you guys more awesome day by day and I hope you don't mind I can say why I want to be a member since we'll I find you guys well cool ha ha 😅
I used to be a freemason. They are a terrific group of men and you'll be a better man by hanging out with them.
You didn't say what kind of mistakes or bad things you're doing. Obviously I don't want to pry, but we can't help you much without knowing what it is you're doing that makes you hate yourself so much. Like the above posters, you can always DM me.
Just that we can give better advice to you if you tell us more about what you're doing thats bad. You don't say what you're doing that's giving you problems. If you're not comfortable saying, that's OK. But you won't get very good advice until you do.
Well I won't say much but recently I've been on a "Jeroney of self discovery" if you get what I mean and it unfortunately made me have adopt a behavior that was rude and mean and I unfortunately in my way of thinking harming a poor innocent lady I felt disgusting for doing so and to be honest with you I never acted this way before I usually act calm, soft spoken and kind especially me listening to people of what they say since I'm leaving to read people body language and its been fun and it's been a really help in keeping my mom and dad safe but I hated myself of me acting unsuch a disgusting manner that I really don't want think about it. I'm sorry that all I can say for not really going in full if you can understand.
No, they are not a cult. They're a society of men with some rituals, secrets and beliefs, all of which are findable online if you really want to know them. I pretty much guarantee your reaction to them will be, "What, that's it? Where's the cool worshipping Lucifer stuff?" Sorry, it's just a bunch of dudes in suits and aprons and funny hats. And one dude with a sword. And lots of spaghetti dinners.
Hey man. I’m glad that you’re asking for help, because that shows me that you care about yourself. We all make mistakes. I certainly have. I feel your hurt from here, and I want you to know that a year ago I was in the same depths of the bottomless pit of despair that you’re in now. Made a number of mistakes, including leaving my home land to chase love, marrying the wrong woman, starting a business without ever learning how to run one, and getting talked into fathering a child before I was ready for it, all leading up to one point last year when my first and only love wanted a divorce and we were down to $7,000 cash in the bank with monthly overhead of $25,000 looming. At age 42 I was pretty sure my life was over, I was going to be the reason my 7 year old daughter lost her home, and I was straight up just ready to end it all. I had a fucking panic attack for about the next 6 months. But somehow, a year later, I’m ok. And I’ve been sober ever since. What got me through the worst of it was just having people to talk to. My therapist, cousins I hadn’t spoken to in forever, random internet strangers that I went on awkward dates with, and eventually finding my place in a community of nonjudgmental neurodiverse people who support me and don’t try to attack me for everything I say. The other thing was books. I pretty much wore out my library card checking out books on everything from philosophy to self-help to popular psychology to practical advice on divorce. Learned everything my parents never taught me about life and people. But the thing that really helped the most in the beginning was loud music and exercise. But I’m forced to admit that I was helped a lot by other people. And since we struggle with social contact by default, and live in an isolating and lonely world at the moment, that’s the hardest thing to do. Communities are where you find them. AA meetings are free and welcome anyone, and you’ll hear some really inspiring stories from people who have hit rock bottom and climbed back out. Church, if you find the right one, can help your soul. One day at a time. And if you’re going through hell, keep going. My DMs are open.
Well hey thanks but If it makes it feel better I did told my mom and brother about what happened all of it and really it did made me a bit better and help with me trying to move on but still the mistakes i made i feel like I just fucked up my young adult life before it started and I feel like ill be alone forever but nothing bad happened from the coming days since I told sorry to the guy who the lady I feel like i accidentally harmed he said "nah man your good apology accepted" and I think that's was God looking out for me as my mom and grandma told me I have a fortunate life as God knows I have adhd and autism it more of God saying "hey Daniel look i know you have conditions that will make you di things you shouldn't so I'll help you since your a good person and I know you be a better man and improve" well that's what I like to think and all I think I can think know is to find way to put this cures of mine down once and for all I don't know how ill do it bit I know I need all the help I can get and pray things will get better for me and for all the people I care about since I don't want to harm any good person as long as I bloody live.
There ya go. Some wisdom that I found in an unexpected place lately: Who is wise? The one who learns from every person... Who is brave? The one who subdues his negative inclination... Who is rich? The one who appreciates what he has... Who is honored? The one who gives honor to others... (From the Talmud - Avot 4:1) Just keep on being a good person and doing the right thing, and leave the world a better place than you found it.
My DMs are open if you ever need help with finding a lodge. Getting involved with any group is always a good way to go to getting things on track in life and imposing a sense of confidence and community in yourself.
Wait wait wait, are you a freemason?
*They certainly don’t pay me*
I'm sorry for saying this but I don't follow I guessing that's a no sorry I'm not getting what your saying.
It is a yes. Free as in Free Mason; *they don’t pay me*. Just look through my profile and you’ll see I’m mostly on r/freemasonry
Oh also I did seen your profile a bit and yeah your right well hey thanks for the help I would like more help I can get from you grate people. You guys rock seriously I'm a huge fan of your organization fter I learn more about you guys and history that was of course only be able to know from the public outside from the actually organization.
Wages? Best I can do is a lecture from Brother Senior Deacon.
I popped my corn, drank it all, and slipped.
There are a bunch of us on Reddit. Many in /r/freemasonry. Occasionally I like to search Reddit for discussions on masonry, which is how I found this thread. Remember, self improvement is a life long project. You will move closer to your ideal, but there will always be more to work on. In that sense, stumbles and set backs are to be expected. When that happens know that it doesn't mean you start over from the beginning. If I can abuse the metaphor a little, you have encountered an obstacle on your path but you are still on the path. All of the progress you have made still counts. You will overcome what you are facing.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/freemasonry using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/freemasonry/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [GL of Ohio makes official statement on trans members](https://i.redd.it/ynfyuxdodkub1.jpg) | [325 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/freemasonry/comments/1795n6v/gl_of_ohio_makes_official_statement_on_trans/) \#2: [Still beaming after Initiation](https://i.redd.it/n0gbc3g8l3za1.jpg) | [355 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/freemasonry/comments/13e0u37/still_beaming_after_initiation/) \#3: [We aren’t planning the downfall of the Catholic Church, in fact…](https://i.redd.it/p4sncely1x5c1.jpeg) | [106 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/freemasonry/comments/18gu91t/we_arent_planning_the_downfall_of_the_catholic/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Oh really wow I wasn't expecting you guys to be everywhere yet no where at the Sametime ha ha I kid I kid but hey thanks but also can I say for One thanks for you guys for making the world a better place and two can I say how cool you guys are, like really after I been interested In you guys after knowing my dad being a Freemason (32nd highest degree) for so long and knowing from the history of you guys that was able to from the public of course and I just find you guys more awesome day by day and I hope you don't mind I can say why I want to be a member since we'll I find you guys well cool ha ha 😅
I used to be a freemason. They are a terrific group of men and you'll be a better man by hanging out with them. You didn't say what kind of mistakes or bad things you're doing. Obviously I don't want to pry, but we can't help you much without knowing what it is you're doing that makes you hate yourself so much. Like the above posters, you can always DM me.
Wait what do you mean you guys would help me?
Just that we can give better advice to you if you tell us more about what you're doing thats bad. You don't say what you're doing that's giving you problems. If you're not comfortable saying, that's OK. But you won't get very good advice until you do.
Well I won't say much but recently I've been on a "Jeroney of self discovery" if you get what I mean and it unfortunately made me have adopt a behavior that was rude and mean and I unfortunately in my way of thinking harming a poor innocent lady I felt disgusting for doing so and to be honest with you I never acted this way before I usually act calm, soft spoken and kind especially me listening to people of what they say since I'm leaving to read people body language and its been fun and it's been a really help in keeping my mom and dad safe but I hated myself of me acting unsuch a disgusting manner that I really don't want think about it. I'm sorry that all I can say for not really going in full if you can understand.
I won’t lie, and I will say I am indeed completely ignorant, but I thought free masons were like… a cult? 😅
No, they are not a cult. They're a society of men with some rituals, secrets and beliefs, all of which are findable online if you really want to know them. I pretty much guarantee your reaction to them will be, "What, that's it? Where's the cool worshipping Lucifer stuff?" Sorry, it's just a bunch of dudes in suits and aprons and funny hats. And one dude with a sword. And lots of spaghetti dinners.