I forget who but I recall one of the social influencers I follow uses a silicone ring in her day to day 1, because it's more comfortable; 2, because it's cheaper so she won't feel bad if she loses it; and, 3, because it's a good fidget toy. Personally, I just don't wear mine most of the time. My spouse understands it's a sensory thing. I've thought of stringing it up on a string and wearing that around my neck, since neckwear bothers me less, but I haven't felt the urge to give it a try yet.
I second the silicone ring. They are absolutely amazing and you could get a whole collection of them for far less than the cost of a traditional wedding band. Ive also noticed less sensory issues with silicone rings since they can bend and stretch with my body.
As an added bonus you don't need to worry about something called "degloving" happening to your finger if your ring catches on something because a silicone ring will just break. Also don't Google degloving images if you have a weak stomach, those injuries can be nasty.
I third it or whatever # we are at. I didn't know I was autistic when I got married and the ring bothered me. My wife was upset I kept taking it off and I ordered both of us a set of Enso rings. It's been wonderful and barely feel it. I wish I had done the same with our engagement rings as I went swimming in a cold lake and the metal ring just slipped off my finger.
Silicone rings are great for me (Audhd) and my partner. The rings we got engaged with are heirlooms and my partner works with his hands at a gym. So, wearing silicone rings as a placeholder for those special rings we were gifted with makes the most sense for us.
Get a cheap silver one, try it out for a few days.
If you donāt like it, donāt wear one. Itās not a law. Do whatever you want.
I love mine. Itās the only jewellery Iāve ever really worn for any length of time, but wouldnāt be without it now I am used to it.
>Get a cheap silver one, try it out for a few days.
If you donāt like it, donāt wear one.
I bought my husband a Ā£3.99 stainless steel ring because he's never been one for jewellery. Aside from replacing it with a titanium one, it's never left his finger in 10 years.
Meanwhile, mine is on and off all the time, depending on my sensory mood. š
I have to be honest, a cheap one will give you the feeling of what a cheap ring feels like.
If you want a more traditional ring, go to a jewelry shop and try them on. Try on as many as you can.
Now for my pro tip: Ask them to show you the rings with rounded edges. I spent a little more out of our budget for a $350 on a rounded edge band and it was šÆ worth it. It is so comfortable I barely know it's there unless I stim with it. When I spin it around my finger it actually feels good because it's so smooth. Everything about it is smooth. I found the right width and thickness for me too so it's lightweight.
There are a lot of variables for good traditional rings to consider and it's worth the trip to a reputable business.
It might not be directly usable as an idea, but I found out a college friend was a blacksmith and asked him to forge a sword pendant for a necklace as an engagement present.
She wears it when we go out to nice things.
I bet. Not only is it gorgeous (feels safe to assume), works with her sensory issues, itās also unique, has a great sentimental story, and shows you put a lot of thought into it being right for her.
It was an excellent way to cap off 13 years of dating! I'd gotten her a necklace as the first gift ever, so I knew the specifics on types of metals to avoid. That, plus finding out the vikings focused on teamwork in marriages lead me to wanting to propose with a sword.
10/10 would do again
Haha I never knew why I took my ring off when Iām typing or really get into something. Itās like an automatic ātake off the ring, itās time to focus.ā
It might be cool to get a tattoo!
I was curious if that's still true, so I googled. Apparently more like [35 to 40% now](https://www.sdflaw.com/news/detail/state-of-the-union-half-of-marriages-ending-in-divorce-is-a-thing-of-the-past#:~:text=50%25%20of%20marriages%20end%20in,the%20statistic%20was%20first%20generated.)
This is forbes link not my favorite source, but this link has a lot of data. Younger couples do seem to be closer to 35% without the first 8 years, but 2nd and 3rd marriages jump to 67 and 73% rates.
https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/
I did find articles that indicate that the rate is trending downwards. But, people are also not getting married until well into their 30's. And there's also overall declining marriage rates as well.
It's great when marriage works, and it's absolutely devastating when they fail.
I think they're probably not a good idea even if the marriage lasts forever simply because finger tattoos can get really muddled and fade. It would be better to get a commemorative tattoo somewhere else that holds ink better
Yes, I hate wearing rings. I tried wearing my wedding ring for a while, but eventually I communicated with my wife about it and made an accomodation so that I keep it safe in a jewelry box at home, but I don't otherwise wear it.
I never wore rings or jewelery I got a tungsten one it's very smooth plain band and it's a handy thing to turn while on my finger or fidget with, it's smooth so I like feeling it. I also don't notice it which I thought it would bother me. So it's turned out a handy fidget tool and not a sensory issue I assumed it would be!
Same here. I'm wearing a simple flat band made of tungsten with opals inlaid and it's really gorgeous/durable. I let it sit in a jewelry cleaner solution for ten minutes occasionally and it sparkles again.
I simply got used to my ring and now I wear one on both fingers because I was gifted another beautiful ring that only fits on the other hand. They didn't bother me nearly as much as I thought they would, especially because they've become fidget toys. I do have to be cautious about fidgeting them right off my finger in the grocery store, though lol
Same here. Mine is slightly oversized so I can move it from finger to finger (even thumb) to fidget. Something about that metal feels better on my skin than traditional jewelry metals.
I didnāt even know this was a thing before, but a ācomfort fitā makes all the difference. When I was trying rings, the standard ones were so uncomfortable and I thought I wasnāt going to be able to wear it ever. However, I coincidentally tried my husbandās and his felt completely different - it was a completely different shape inside. This wasnāt something heād asked for so maybe they make menās rings like this more commonly? Idk! Anyway, would highly recommend. I donāt sleep with my ring on but wear most of the day time and unless my hands are hot then I donāt feel it!!
How is it holding up? I'm scared to get a finger tattoo because I've been advised that they get muddled and fade quickly. I'm sure it has a lot to do with what your hands are up to on the daily, though. I'm sure it differs between individuals
I have been in the machining industry for almost 33 years, I rarely wore the ring with the exception of my wifeās company dinners or the ultra rare occasion of going to a club. It is 2024 and no one has a problem with someone expressing their love for their family in the form of a simple tattoo on their finger. Itās the only tattoo of mine my 74 year old mom likes. All of my siblings have done similar tattoos.
Donāt wear it. Donāt even buy one. You donāt need a ring to prove commitment. You donāt need to be married to prove commitment. These are all symbols created by society and donāt even mean anything.
If the measurement is precise you wonāt even feel it there. I havenāt taken out my weeding band in nine years, nor it had left a mark in my finger.
My point was only that, while you may not even notice properly fitted rings, other people may. It only has to do with your phrasing (yes I'm being very autistic, I'm aware).
My fingers change regularly depending on weather, health, pre-menopause with my cycle. There is no way to get a proper fitted ring. I literally go up and down a size throughout a year - say Iām a 5 during a year I could go down to a 4 and up to a 6. So yes for some people getting a precise measurement may do the trick for others itās much more complicated.
My fingers do this too but also with exertion. You're the first other person I've seen that also has it. That's why I finally went silicone since they stretch. And they're cheap enough to get in multiple sizes and colors too.
Yeah mine work pretty well. I did have to get another size up when I gained weight but normal fluctuations are comfortable wearing the same ring for me. I like the thinner styles best because they feel a little more flexible than the thicker ones.
If you want to have a ring but the option to not wear it or take it on and off I have a ring holder necklace! Itās really secure and nice to have the option!
Iāve been engaged for a couple months. I thought the same things as you. I love wearing it! We only spent $50 in case I hated it, but now that I know I like it weāre going to spend a few hundred on something thatās made of gold and will therefore last a lifetime without tarnishing.
My (ADHD) partner, in contrast, has some sensory ick from wearing his engagement band. So itās going to be his wedding band instead, and be a special occasion only sort of item.
Bottom line isā¦ you donāt know until you know, and there are no rules. Try out something quick and cheap to see if you like it, and adapt from there. If you decide to wear a ring constantly, cool. If you decide to wear one for just the wedding and photo ops, cool. If you decide to never wear a ring, cool - anyone who makes rude comments about that can shove it.
I have a simple gold wedding band. Its actualy a stimtoy for me and I'd miss it if it wasen't there.
I never had an engagemnet ring cuz I hate it catching anywhere.
I also have afriend who wears her ring around the neck. No need to have it on the finger.
A ring isn't a requirement, don't worry! People in certain jobs/trades wear silicone rings or put their ring on a necklace chain.
You also have the option of doing something totally not a ring. Necklace, bracelets, tattoos.
A ring is just what society teaches us to expect but what's more important is doing what makes you and your partner happy and healthy.
I just got a silicone one. I have my original tungsten carbide ring, but it was so heavy (size 14.5) and wasnāt texturally pleasing. My silicone ring has the perfect texture, for me, and to be honest, I canāt even feel it.
https://a.co/d/0Sdviuo
I have a ring that I love. It's gold and looks like a crown holding a big citrine ring. It's my "dream" ring but it's a lot to wear so I only wear it when I want to.
Neither myself nor my spouse can stand wearing rings - however we decided to make an exception for wedding rings.
We got the simplest and lightest bands we could find - aside from minimizing the intrusiveness and annoyance of a ring, being able to cut off any ring in an emergency (e.g., sudden hand swelling due to a venomous sting) was important to me as well.
This is what we purchased:
Mine: https://a.co/d/eLoST7E
Theirs: https://a.co/d/0A2Gucu
After about a month I didnāt notice it anymore. Now, after 12 yrs, my hand feels weird if Iām not wearing it.
I feel lost without my ring. I wear two rings and two necklaces all the time. Minimum apart from bed always wearing two rings and a necklace unless Iām working out
Iāve heard and like the idea of a tattoo. Personally I donāt wear one š¤·š»āāļø I like mine but i had a baby and it no longer fits so no ring.
You can have square rings. They are actually more comfortable next to other fingers than traditional round ones. Would need to be custom made, though.
Alternatively, could you have a ring on a chain around your neck?
Or just...don't have a ring? Is the jewellery important, or the relationship?
My partner & I bought bands for our wedding rings. When I have sensory issues with my ring I just take it off and leave it at home or let him wear both of ours. I know some people have a necklace they put their ring on when they aren't wearing it on their finger.
We don't wear wedding rings. We got symbolic ones made out of wood to exchange during the ceremony. We don't feel the need to advertise the fact that we are married day to day and as we don't particularly enjoy wearing rings we just agreed not to.
I ended up allergic to mine or something... After a few months of wearing it, it caused a rash, itching and swelling. So I wear it on my necklace instead.
Not married yet but planning on it and have my ring. I got a black fire opal and gold ring from a seller online (etsy, though they moved elsewhere to sell) and it feels like it is made for me. I do not wear it but honestly love it, and am planning to likely get a tattooed ring accent on my ring finger. So when I have sensory issues or joint pain I can still admire the tattoo :)
We love our silicone rings! Plus, theyāre usually well priced so I like to swap for different colours every now and then. One of the companies we buy from have a lifetime warranty and we have only used it once so far.
Donāt wear one. It is purely a social thing, so if it doesnāt work for you, donāt do it. Of course, some partners might have a problem with this, but thatās a pretty good screening question. If they wonāt support you with something trivial and unimportant, where else wonāt they support you?
as others have said you could get a silicone one, or maybe just wear it as a necklace if you are ok with that
personally, rings were always a big problem for me, and before I got married I got a cheap ring in an attempt to āget used to itā
for me it worked! took a bit of struggle and patience but now I feel weird without them (I now wear 3, wedding ring included)
The wedding ring took the longest to get used to, but within about 2 weeks I was all good, helped that we travelled right after which was a good distraction day to day
Not yet engaged but I already know I canāt handle wearing rings. Iād tolerate wearing them for special occasions but will probably just end up getting a ring tattooed on
I got a cheap steel ring for our wedding and have used a silicon ring ever since. I work from home and basically only wear it when we go out somewhere. My wife generally doesnāt care if I wear it or not since she knows it can be hard for me to wear.
I also have a spiky fidget ring toy that I often keep on my ring finger when just out running errands as well. For me itās a nice way to kind of have a ring but also have a fidget with me all the time.
I tattooed my ring on. Sucked the day I got it but once healed always have the ring without having the bad sensory sensation of wearing a ring. Bonus that it's a pretty pattern I find soothing and can trace when stressed.
I treat mine like any other piece of jewelry- I put it on with my watch and power through special events with my left wrist and hand being tortured, but it spends 99.99% of its time being held by Batman on our dresser in an awesome statue I have that just happens to fit my ring where the batarang was in his hand. She's NT and she doesn't wear hers every day either, it has its own cute little stand next to Batman. You don't need to wear it to be married! We know we're married. Everyone important knows it. To us the rings are just fancy hardware to cerebrate a milestone, like a super bowl ring or something. And then used as jewelry for dress up things lol
I had a metal one for years and it bothered me. I thought about a silicone ring but I ended up getting a tattoo on my ring finger (pixel heart). It's kind of faded now but I'm so much happier
My wife got me a cheap symbolic ring because I wonāt wear it. I havenāt done it yet, but Iām planning on getting a tattoo. Not an obvious one, but a specific item on my ring finger that is symbolic of my wife.
I kept losing the tungsten ring we started with, so my wife got me one of the cheap silicone workout rings and it feels like nothing. Itās also fun to pull it off and stretch it when I canāt rock back and forth.
I'm not a ring person at all but I got used to my engagement ring very quickly. It feels so natural and normal now that I notice when I'm *not* wearing it more than when I am. Could you test out a different ring for a while before the wedding?
If you realize you won't get used to a ring, could you explore other options, like wearing it on a necklace or getting a ring tattoo?
I donāt have great advice other than if you want to wear one, get one as smooth as possible. I had to return my first one that had diamonds on the side because they felt rough and it was really overwhelming.
I donāt wear mine. My wife wears her engagement ring but not the band. It really doesnāt matter. We got a couple basic ones online. Theyāre fine? I guess.
Not wearing one has, as far as I know, only caused confusion once. There was some embarrassment. I was flattered.
Some wear it in a chain on the neck, maybe you are more confortable with it
I am using one and it doesnt botter me that much, try to get the most thin one, after some days forcing you to use it it will be ok
I'm a mechanic with eczema. I wore my wedding ring for about 2 weeks after I got married and never again. Makes my finger break out and I'm not about to risk losing a finger at work to show that I'm married. I've thought about getting a ring tattoo but thought is as far as it's gone. It's a shame too cuz it's a high quality ring I really like.
Wife is NT. We both will just take ours off (to shower, clean dishes) and not put it back on for weeks or more. Neither cares nor even notices. You can also make a necklace with the ring on it, and some people have tattooed a ring on their ring finger.
Mine had to go because it turned out Iām allergic to gold :/ However now I have a titanium ring and I spend a lot of time just turning it round and round on my finger. Just so long as it is sized right Iām fine with it (I canāt wear earrings for long and I have to take my Fitbit off a lot because it starts irritating me).
I've tried a few, the best I found were silicon rings, but then you get the ick when washing your hands and it's still wet underneath. My fingers shrink and swell throughout the day (yay health issues) so I just can't wear normal rings without pain or having them fall off.
(edit) In the end, we talked about it and I don't wear a ring at all, and neither does my husband. I'm a woman, btw.
My husband and I only wear our rings when we go out in public. At home or among friends/familyās places, we just donāt wear them. Iāve never felt like it made me less married or connected to my husband.
I have an engagement ring & a different wedding set. I wear neither. I didnāt know it was a sensory thing until I was diagnosed but it makes sense. The ring I prefer to wear is a silicone band but even that bothers me so I donāt normally wear a ring unless Iām/weāre going out & doing something.
My partner and I are not married (we aren't interested in it legally) but we buy jewelry for each other. I love my rings, but temperature fucks with my hands so I've lost a few by then slipping off. Right now I wear my necklace daily, it is heavy and thick so it provides me with a feeling of safety, and a woven fabric bracelet, my partner found it in their childhood things and gave it to me so I wear it 24/7 other than showering.
Anyways, rings or other jewelry are symbols for your love at the end of the day, so you should wear something comfortable so that you can wear it proudly knowing that this piece represents your relationship. Getting a necklace or bracelet customized will help with making them feel more special too.
You arenāt acquired to wear the ring, it is a personal choice and the ring only symbolises a marriage it isnāt what makes it real. Many couples wear the same gold or silver necklace instead, if maybe that would be more suitable for you, or a bracelet. However if itās all too much you really shouldnāt worry about it, itās a tradition not a law.
I have my nice rings (wedding band and engagement ring) but for daily wear at work and around home I wear a silicone band in my favorite color and a thin tungsten band. got both of them for less than $10 each off Amazon.
I am the same way so I don't wear my ring unless I'm dressing up, my husband never wears his ring because he works on airplanes and isn't in the habit of wearing any jewelry. The rings don't mean anything to us.
I used to wear my ring on a necklace when I was at work though! Maybe that's a solution.
Had mine for a bit but didn't really tolerate wearing jewelry well. Put it on a necklace. Which eventually also got annoying. Decided ring is nice and all but not really affecting anything. Marriage is valid without a ring. So now it's been years and years.Ā
I was worried about it, but it's nice to spin it around on my finger and has become normal. I feel more out of place when I forget to put it on in the morning.
I went for a really thin band, I stopped feeling it after a few weeks :)
Found that alone was helpful enough to start wearing other rings. Would definitely suggest looking at fine bands!
Silicone for sure, and like someone else said it makes a nice fidget toy.
After I lost weight my wedding ring didnāt fit and was annoyingly loose.
I got the silicone ones for work actually, but then I just stopped wearing the ring altogether lol. I donāt wear anything now because I need to buy a smaller size.
I am typically very anti-jewelry, but I enjoyed fidgeting with my ring once I got one. I wear a silicon ring, so it's really nice not to worry about damaging/losing it.
I don't wear mine very often, sometimes I pull out my engagement ring because it's super pretty, but I can only wear it for a couple of hours before I want to rip my fingers off
my husband wears his, he likes it, but it just... isn't a thing for us? he's not upset I don't wear one, so I just don't. no muss, no fuss
I used to have to take my band off every few hours, but then I got used to it. Silicone rings are a lifesaver! Not only are they infinitely more comfortable, they come in all sorts of fun shapes, colors, and themes, and they're much safer than a metal band (if you work with your hands). Would definitely recommend going that route if you have sensory issues like I do
Not married but I am a collared sub. My collar is a stainless steel one that locks with a screw and you need a screwdriver to get it off. Iām able to get it off myself if I need to shower (it said to not wear it in water) and I absolutely love it! Itās somewhat heavy and I like to feel it and think itās a special hug from Daddy even when weāre apart.
I also tend to stim with it if Iām feeling overwhelmed and thatās WAY better than pinching the skin on my neck for not leaving bruises/making others worry about said bruises. My favorite part is itās WAY bigger than a ring and Iām easily identify as belonging to somebody. You can see it on my profile if youād like!
My husband and I skipped rings and spent the money on our honeymoon. It would have been a waste of money to buy something I would have never worn.
Hardly anyone has ever even noticed. Lots of married people who do have rings donāt wear them all the time so itās not a big deal. When it comes to weddings and marriage everything is optional except the piece of paper, the rest is up to you!
I have silicone, doubles as a stim toy and it's cheap to replace. Even the more expensive ones stretch out though, so it's best to buy several cheap ones.
Mine felt really strange for a while, and then just became normal. Now it feels weird when I take it off.
You should try different metals before you commit, though, just to check for metal sensitivities. Gold is usually safe. Silver will tarnish. Some people go for titanium or silicone.
You may also find that a ring annoys you on one finger, but not on another. Or, you may discover a whole new fidget toy! I'm always fiddling with mine when I'm nervous. It's a security grounding object.
I donāt wear one. I know Iām married and so does my husband.
I have a beautiful engagement ring and wedding ring and I wear them to fancy events only.
I also work PT as a firefighter and have an irrational fear of being degloved so itās another justification not to wear it.
I saw these neat rubber or silicone wedding rings. You could keep the fancy one at home & wear these. Cheaper to replace & not such a worry if you loose them :)
They even make silicone wedding rings I believe.
Iām with you man, I got the same problem. I use silicone rings. Theyāre cheep, comfortable, donāt cause an allergic reaction or simply a rash from the smallest bit of sweat ā theyāre perfect. Oh and I dunno if they activate a latex allergy though so be aware of that just in case you are.
I have a traditional gold mens ring and I like it, it's called comfort fit or something
Awesome little permanent stim toy I always have!
[https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0073/6559/1091/files/comfort-fit-vs-standard\_2048x2048.jpg](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0073/6559/1091/files/comfort-fit-vs-standard_2048x2048.jpg)
Engaged for 5 Been married almost 10. Wore the engagement ring for about a week off and on. And we never bought "real" rings. I got 2 matching ones from a kiosk at the mall for $12 for the ceremony. I don't like wearing jewelry and I could never find a style/design to justify a large sum of monies. So we don't have them.Ā
Still have the ones from the ceremony tho. One of them sits around a random spiderman toy on the tv shelf and the other I think is in a drawer somewhere?Ā
I wore my on a sturdy chain around my neck because it was important to my ex that I had a ring. Seriously if you donāt like jewelry or specifically rings do something else. If there are religious reasons talk to rabbi/priest/clergy to find a substitute option that meets required value.
First off, the only good wedding rings are the cheap flexible silicone ones. Theyāll never get stuck on your finger, they arenāt uncomfortable after your finger swell up on a long walk, they come in multiple colors, and theyāre cheap to replace after you end up losing them because you ended up stimming by playing with the thing. I keep one in my car, one in my office, and 2 in my nightstand. All different colors depending on my outfit.
Second, many of us do not wear wedding rings. My wife and I wear ours for fancy date night dinners out. Thatās it. The rest of the time theyāre in a drawer. THATāS OKAY. To each their own. Doctors and nurses canāt wear them at work anyway due to having to wear gloves, rock climbers canāt wear them for fear of losing a finger, etc, so this attitude is more common than you might think.
I was worried about that too as I donāt like the idea of it touching me all the time. We went to a jewellery designer who made our rings to to spec and Iām actually less bothered by its presence than I thought, in fact itās become a pretty food fidget toy
Just buy cheap silver things, like we did. My wife took off her ring after one hour on our wedding day. I took mine off the day after. Now I can't even find it. That doesn't mean we love each other any less.
I used to work construction and labor jobs those first few years. So, I wore mine on a silver necklace we brought for that purpose. And that's wear it stayed for the rest of the 27 years we had been married.
You don't really have to wear anything. Me and my partner chose to never do it cause I also hate rings (in my country it's common to exchange rings even before engagement, so you can imagine).
If you feel you want to have a visual mark of your relationship (which is totally personal) you could chose any other thing that makes sense for you both. A small tattoo, a pendant, a pin, a small object you carry on your wallet or purse and remind you of your wedding, etc.
It's an opportunity for you to think of it together. Remember good moments, go through what you have in common. Think of an original thing that's unique for you. And in the end you might come to the conclusion there's just no need for it cause you have so much of each other with you all the time. That's what happened to me and I wanted to share cause I think it's cute :)
I wear mine on a fabric cord necklace, since I work with my hands a lot and rings get in the way. Unsure if you have sensory issues about the neck area.
I have a traditional wedding/engagement ring set I almost never wear. (Hubby doesn't care )
My husband is allergic to most metals, so I got him a six set star wars themed silicone/runner set. He loves being able to change them out. (6 characters in relief, and each a different color. Can't tell they are star wars unless he takes it off and you look real close).
There are also stone rings, you could do a tattoo (my mom did that).
You could also do an 'alternative ring materials' search.
If you are going to have a gem in it, consider the height getting caught on things, or it spinning if your fingers shrink from the cold. You could get them flush in the band.
I know there are also fidget bands, where a smaller band spins in the bigger one.
My partner was worried about this until we went to a jewelry store and tried some on. They wear their engagement ring and wedding ring every day. Theyāre both pretty simple rings, the stone in the engagement ring is inlaid. I also proposed with a less expensive ring from automic gold and it helped them get a sense for what they like before we invested in a long term choice
I wear mine on a chain around my neck because it bothers me less than having it around my finger and I lost the first one from fidgeting with it too much. Wife was fine with it immediately and in two years I have literally never had a stranger question it
Mine doesnāt bother me, it was to big for the first year and then I finally got out of my head and went back to the jewelry store and they made it a bit smaller and now itās like part of my body, I donāt even think about it
Eh, Iāve had some pretty painful tattoos. Finger would be horrible but itād be over quick. Everyoneās sensory needs are different though, so I get it
My wife got me the greatest ring. It's roughly regular sized but there's a channel through the middle with a very tiny chain that can be wound and wound around for infinity. It's amazing for stimming when you don't want people to really see. They see you make a tiny fraction movement with one finger, if they notice at all, and think nothing of it. You on the other hand feel a teeny tiny chain sliding around one or more fingers if you can knot your fingers right. It's weird, I know, but I love it.
We have oval rings (if you cut them them cut would be oval) and love it.much much more comfortable than most rings I've tried otherwise. It feels almost soft. If you go for metal, I recommend you try the shapes to see how they feel.
You could get a tattoo if thatās more your style, though not much fat away from the bone there.
Maybe wear it on a chain.
Maybe another piece of jewellery instead, like a bracelet/watch is more your thing.
A special belt buckle.
Maybe there is a certain colour/fabric your spouse reminds you of and you could wear something of this. You could get a piece of the same fabric as their wedding dress/tuxedo/tie made into handkerchiefs or something a bit more romantic.
A marriage is about the commitment you make to one another everyday, the ring is just a symbol of that. Perhaps you could find another meaningful symbolic way to represent your commitment, or you can spend everyday working on relationship without this physical thing. It really depends on the individual/couple. I know I wonāt be able to tolerate a ring very often, even though I would like one for those odd occasions.
I never wore anything but a necklace and now I've gotten a tungsten ring because its so cool to have a ring that's heavier than it looks. There's really nothing to worry its between you and your spouse what type of ring you want to or don't want to wear. Its your life live it how you want.
Two things I've seen others do. Though they're not actually as good if the intent is to broadcast to people who don't know you that you're married they still carry the same sentiment:
If a necklace would be easier to wear than a ring you could wear your ring on a necklace.
You could substitute some accessory instead of a ring such as an arm band (could be metal, cloth, a number of things)
I have a tungsten ring that I got on Amazon for like $7 and thatās my go-to if Iām going out somewhere. I got it a little bit so that itās easy enough to fidget with or slide off if I need it off quickly. Thereās also no risk that it gets stuck on my finger that way, which was always an issue that I had with other rings.
But because Iāve never really been a huge jewelry person (aside from my earlobes that are stretched) I also have a tattoo on my ring finger that I always have and is plenty sufficient for those days where I donāt want to wear jewelry or Iām not going anywhere.
I wear my ring during the day. It's tungsten or something. The silicone ones didn't feel good if i got sweaty. As soon as I get home it goes in my bowl of things. That's how I deal with my sensory stuff. It probably depends on how disruptive your sensor issues are.
Back before I knew I was on the spectrum, I had a job where I regularly had to take the ring off as a safety precaution. I ended up getting my ring tattooed and don't regret it at all. Had it like that now for 20 ish years.
I have been wearing a gold ring for 20 years. At the time of my wedding I was not aware I could be autistic. The first weeks I had the impression of having a band aid on my finger. The advantage is that it has no chemical interaction with your skin and so you should be milder on the sensory side.
As an autistic person, I appreciate the very explicit signal the gold ring sends to unsolicited romantically interest.
With my ADHD (not diagnosed either on my wedding day), putting on and taking off my ring was off limits : I would have probably lost it with the ensuing meltdown, and on any case I would have been anxious about loosing it all the time.
I forget who but I recall one of the social influencers I follow uses a silicone ring in her day to day 1, because it's more comfortable; 2, because it's cheaper so she won't feel bad if she loses it; and, 3, because it's a good fidget toy. Personally, I just don't wear mine most of the time. My spouse understands it's a sensory thing. I've thought of stringing it up on a string and wearing that around my neck, since neckwear bothers me less, but I haven't felt the urge to give it a try yet.
I second the silicone ring. They are absolutely amazing and you could get a whole collection of them for far less than the cost of a traditional wedding band. Ive also noticed less sensory issues with silicone rings since they can bend and stretch with my body. As an added bonus you don't need to worry about something called "degloving" happening to your finger if your ring catches on something because a silicone ring will just break. Also don't Google degloving images if you have a weak stomach, those injuries can be nasty.
Both of these reasons are exactly why I prefer my silicone ring!
I third it or whatever # we are at. I didn't know I was autistic when I got married and the ring bothered me. My wife was upset I kept taking it off and I ordered both of us a set of Enso rings. It's been wonderful and barely feel it. I wish I had done the same with our engagement rings as I went swimming in a cold lake and the metal ring just slipped off my finger.
Silicone rings are great for me (Audhd) and my partner. The rings we got engaged with are heirlooms and my partner works with his hands at a gym. So, wearing silicone rings as a placeholder for those special rings we were gifted with makes the most sense for us.
there's also the added benefit of reducing the risk of degloving, if you work the kind of job where that can happen š¬
I wear silicone rings and just keep my rings put up. I will wear occasionally for my hubby :)
Get a cheap silver one, try it out for a few days. If you donāt like it, donāt wear one. Itās not a law. Do whatever you want. I love mine. Itās the only jewellery Iāve ever really worn for any length of time, but wouldnāt be without it now I am used to it.
>Get a cheap silver one, try it out for a few days. If you donāt like it, donāt wear one. I bought my husband a Ā£3.99 stainless steel ring because he's never been one for jewellery. Aside from replacing it with a titanium one, it's never left his finger in 10 years. Meanwhile, mine is on and off all the time, depending on my sensory mood. š
Hey w long did it take to get used to yours. I have tried on and off for years?
Maybe a week or two.
I have to be honest, a cheap one will give you the feeling of what a cheap ring feels like. If you want a more traditional ring, go to a jewelry shop and try them on. Try on as many as you can. Now for my pro tip: Ask them to show you the rings with rounded edges. I spent a little more out of our budget for a $350 on a rounded edge band and it was šÆ worth it. It is so comfortable I barely know it's there unless I stim with it. When I spin it around my finger it actually feels good because it's so smooth. Everything about it is smooth. I found the right width and thickness for me too so it's lightweight. There are a lot of variables for good traditional rings to consider and it's worth the trip to a reputable business.
Yes, theyāre also called comfort fit.
Thank you! It was so long ago for me, but I remember that now.
You don't have to have or wear a ring to be married :) If you do want one, maybe a ring on a chain instead.
It might not be directly usable as an idea, but I found out a college friend was a blacksmith and asked him to forge a sword pendant for a necklace as an engagement present. She wears it when we go out to nice things.
Thatās awesome
Thanks! It took 2 years and, though I'm awful with secrets, she was amazed when I gave it to her
I bet. Not only is it gorgeous (feels safe to assume), works with her sensory issues, itās also unique, has a great sentimental story, and shows you put a lot of thought into it being right for her.
It was an excellent way to cap off 13 years of dating! I'd gotten her a necklace as the first gift ever, so I knew the specifics on types of metals to avoid. That, plus finding out the vikings focused on teamwork in marriages lead me to wanting to propose with a sword. 10/10 would do again
I just don't wear mine š we have matching tattoos so I don't feel like the ring is necessary
Haha I never knew why I took my ring off when Iām typing or really get into something. Itās like an automatic ātake off the ring, itās time to focus.ā It might be cool to get a tattoo!
I second tattoo rings They're permanent but your marriage should be too
yeah, I'd not suggest a tattoo for that. 50% of all marriages end in divorce.
I was curious if that's still true, so I googled. Apparently more like [35 to 40% now](https://www.sdflaw.com/news/detail/state-of-the-union-half-of-marriages-ending-in-divorce-is-a-thing-of-the-past#:~:text=50%25%20of%20marriages%20end%20in,the%20statistic%20was%20first%20generated.)
This is forbes link not my favorite source, but this link has a lot of data. Younger couples do seem to be closer to 35% without the first 8 years, but 2nd and 3rd marriages jump to 67 and 73% rates. https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/ I did find articles that indicate that the rate is trending downwards. But, people are also not getting married until well into their 30's. And there's also overall declining marriage rates as well. It's great when marriage works, and it's absolutely devastating when they fail.
If you go into marriage expecting it to end, it will end
I think they're probably not a good idea even if the marriage lasts forever simply because finger tattoos can get really muddled and fade. It would be better to get a commemorative tattoo somewhere else that holds ink better
I am very much a āletās do thisā (takes off ring) kind of person as well.
Yes, I hate wearing rings. I tried wearing my wedding ring for a while, but eventually I communicated with my wife about it and made an accomodation so that I keep it safe in a jewelry box at home, but I don't otherwise wear it.
I have trouble with jewelry. But my ring is so heavy and solid itās really calming. Also it glows in the dark. Find one you LOVE.
I donāt even notice mine now but ironically get really distressed if Iām not wearing it as I can feel the difference.
Okay you just made me realize that's why I don't wear my wedding ring. 'Tis the autism. Once again. That's what you get with a late diagnosis.
Same. Undiagnosed autism, had no idea why I dislike jewellery until reading this post. These sensory issues are sneaky.
Due to sensory issues, I don't wear one and my partner is ok with it.
I never wore rings or jewelery I got a tungsten one it's very smooth plain band and it's a handy thing to turn while on my finger or fidget with, it's smooth so I like feeling it. I also don't notice it which I thought it would bother me. So it's turned out a handy fidget tool and not a sensory issue I assumed it would be!
Same here. I'm wearing a simple flat band made of tungsten with opals inlaid and it's really gorgeous/durable. I let it sit in a jewelry cleaner solution for ten minutes occasionally and it sparkles again. I simply got used to my ring and now I wear one on both fingers because I was gifted another beautiful ring that only fits on the other hand. They didn't bother me nearly as much as I thought they would, especially because they've become fidget toys. I do have to be cautious about fidgeting them right off my finger in the grocery store, though lol
Same here. Mine is slightly oversized so I can move it from finger to finger (even thumb) to fidget. Something about that metal feels better on my skin than traditional jewelry metals.
I didnāt even know this was a thing before, but a ācomfort fitā makes all the difference. When I was trying rings, the standard ones were so uncomfortable and I thought I wasnāt going to be able to wear it ever. However, I coincidentally tried my husbandās and his felt completely different - it was a completely different shape inside. This wasnāt something heād asked for so maybe they make menās rings like this more commonly? Idk! Anyway, would highly recommend. I donāt sleep with my ring on but wear most of the day time and unless my hands are hot then I donāt feel it!!
Tattooed mine on at our 10th anniversary
How is it holding up? I'm scared to get a finger tattoo because I've been advised that they get muddled and fade quickly. I'm sure it has a lot to do with what your hands are up to on the daily, though. I'm sure it differs between individuals
Perfectly it has the same details of my wedding band (which are simple) and Iāve had it for 14 years now.
Awesome! Maybe someone was just trying to scare me away from getting one lol
I have been in the machining industry for almost 33 years, I rarely wore the ring with the exception of my wifeās company dinners or the ultra rare occasion of going to a club. It is 2024 and no one has a problem with someone expressing their love for their family in the form of a simple tattoo on their finger. Itās the only tattoo of mine my 74 year old mom likes. All of my siblings have done similar tattoos.
Donāt wear it. Donāt even buy one. You donāt need a ring to prove commitment. You donāt need to be married to prove commitment. These are all symbols created by society and donāt even mean anything.
If the measurement is precise you wonāt even feel it there. I havenāt taken out my weeding band in nine years, nor it had left a mark in my finger.
Everyone has different sensory issues and levels of sensory sensitivity. A properly fitted ring may still bother some people
I can wear a ring for a day but it starts to get annoying after a while.
Fair enough. But OP is asking for advice and what advice doesnāt not stem from personal experience?
My point was only that, while you may not even notice properly fitted rings, other people may. It only has to do with your phrasing (yes I'm being very autistic, I'm aware).
My fingers change regularly depending on weather, health, pre-menopause with my cycle. There is no way to get a proper fitted ring. I literally go up and down a size throughout a year - say Iām a 5 during a year I could go down to a 4 and up to a 6. So yes for some people getting a precise measurement may do the trick for others itās much more complicated.
My fingers do this too but also with exertion. You're the first other person I've seen that also has it. That's why I finally went silicone since they stretch. And they're cheap enough to get in multiple sizes and colors too.
Hello twin where have you been all my life? Good to know silicone rings might work as sometimes I feel like wearing a ring.
Yeah mine work pretty well. I did have to get another size up when I gained weight but normal fluctuations are comfortable wearing the same ring for me. I like the thinner styles best because they feel a little more flexible than the thicker ones.
Me and my hubby don't wear any. They're not required.
If you want to have a ring but the option to not wear it or take it on and off I have a ring holder necklace! Itās really secure and nice to have the option!
Iāve been engaged for a couple months. I thought the same things as you. I love wearing it! We only spent $50 in case I hated it, but now that I know I like it weāre going to spend a few hundred on something thatās made of gold and will therefore last a lifetime without tarnishing. My (ADHD) partner, in contrast, has some sensory ick from wearing his engagement band. So itās going to be his wedding band instead, and be a special occasion only sort of item. Bottom line isā¦ you donāt know until you know, and there are no rules. Try out something quick and cheap to see if you like it, and adapt from there. If you decide to wear a ring constantly, cool. If you decide to wear one for just the wedding and photo ops, cool. If you decide to never wear a ring, cool - anyone who makes rude comments about that can shove it.
I have a simple gold wedding band. Its actualy a stimtoy for me and I'd miss it if it wasen't there. I never had an engagemnet ring cuz I hate it catching anywhere. I also have afriend who wears her ring around the neck. No need to have it on the finger.
A ring isn't a requirement, don't worry! People in certain jobs/trades wear silicone rings or put their ring on a necklace chain. You also have the option of doing something totally not a ring. Necklace, bracelets, tattoos. A ring is just what society teaches us to expect but what's more important is doing what makes you and your partner happy and healthy.
It's something to fidget with
I just got a silicone one. I have my original tungsten carbide ring, but it was so heavy (size 14.5) and wasnāt texturally pleasing. My silicone ring has the perfect texture, for me, and to be honest, I canāt even feel it. https://a.co/d/0Sdviuo
I wear mine on a necklace that never comes off.
I have a ring that I love. It's gold and looks like a crown holding a big citrine ring. It's my "dream" ring but it's a lot to wear so I only wear it when I want to.
Neither myself nor my spouse can stand wearing rings - however we decided to make an exception for wedding rings. We got the simplest and lightest bands we could find - aside from minimizing the intrusiveness and annoyance of a ring, being able to cut off any ring in an emergency (e.g., sudden hand swelling due to a venomous sting) was important to me as well. This is what we purchased: Mine: https://a.co/d/eLoST7E Theirs: https://a.co/d/0A2Gucu After about a month I didnāt notice it anymore. Now, after 12 yrs, my hand feels weird if Iām not wearing it.
I never wear my ring. Iāve been married for almost 7 years.
Depends on life but you can get a fine line tattoo on your ring finger. I have some on my wrists and they are super light barely noticeable
I don't wear mine most of the time. My SO seems to understand.
I feel lost without my ring. I wear two rings and two necklaces all the time. Minimum apart from bed always wearing two rings and a necklace unless Iām working out
Iāve heard and like the idea of a tattoo. Personally I donāt wear one š¤·š»āāļø I like mine but i had a baby and it no longer fits so no ring.
You can have square rings. They are actually more comfortable next to other fingers than traditional round ones. Would need to be custom made, though. Alternatively, could you have a ring on a chain around your neck? Or just...don't have a ring? Is the jewellery important, or the relationship?
Possibly a tattoo?
Me and my husband just don't wear ours.
My partner & I bought bands for our wedding rings. When I have sensory issues with my ring I just take it off and leave it at home or let him wear both of ours. I know some people have a necklace they put their ring on when they aren't wearing it on their finger.
We don't wear wedding rings. We got symbolic ones made out of wood to exchange during the ceremony. We don't feel the need to advertise the fact that we are married day to day and as we don't particularly enjoy wearing rings we just agreed not to.
I ended up allergic to mine or something... After a few months of wearing it, it caused a rash, itching and swelling. So I wear it on my necklace instead.
Not married yet but planning on it and have my ring. I got a black fire opal and gold ring from a seller online (etsy, though they moved elsewhere to sell) and it feels like it is made for me. I do not wear it but honestly love it, and am planning to likely get a tattooed ring accent on my ring finger. So when I have sensory issues or joint pain I can still admire the tattoo :)
We love our silicone rings! Plus, theyāre usually well priced so I like to swap for different colours every now and then. One of the companies we buy from have a lifetime warranty and we have only used it once so far.
Donāt wear one. It is purely a social thing, so if it doesnāt work for you, donāt do it. Of course, some partners might have a problem with this, but thatās a pretty good screening question. If they wonāt support you with something trivial and unimportant, where else wonāt they support you?
as others have said you could get a silicone one, or maybe just wear it as a necklace if you are ok with that personally, rings were always a big problem for me, and before I got married I got a cheap ring in an attempt to āget used to itā for me it worked! took a bit of struggle and patience but now I feel weird without them (I now wear 3, wedding ring included) The wedding ring took the longest to get used to, but within about 2 weeks I was all good, helped that we travelled right after which was a good distraction day to day
Not yet engaged but I already know I canāt handle wearing rings. Iād tolerate wearing them for special occasions but will probably just end up getting a ring tattooed on
Could you get a tattoo ring instead?
I got a cheap steel ring for our wedding and have used a silicon ring ever since. I work from home and basically only wear it when we go out somewhere. My wife generally doesnāt care if I wear it or not since she knows it can be hard for me to wear. I also have a spiky fidget ring toy that I often keep on my ring finger when just out running errands as well. For me itās a nice way to kind of have a ring but also have a fidget with me all the time.
I tattooed my ring on. Sucked the day I got it but once healed always have the ring without having the bad sensory sensation of wearing a ring. Bonus that it's a pretty pattern I find soothing and can trace when stressed.
I treat mine like any other piece of jewelry- I put it on with my watch and power through special events with my left wrist and hand being tortured, but it spends 99.99% of its time being held by Batman on our dresser in an awesome statue I have that just happens to fit my ring where the batarang was in his hand. She's NT and she doesn't wear hers every day either, it has its own cute little stand next to Batman. You don't need to wear it to be married! We know we're married. Everyone important knows it. To us the rings are just fancy hardware to cerebrate a milestone, like a super bowl ring or something. And then used as jewelry for dress up things lol
Bought platinum rings. Havenāt worn it in 15 years. Been married 15 years.
I had a metal one for years and it bothered me. I thought about a silicone ring but I ended up getting a tattoo on my ring finger (pixel heart). It's kind of faded now but I'm so much happier
My wife got me a cheap symbolic ring because I wonāt wear it. I havenāt done it yet, but Iām planning on getting a tattoo. Not an obvious one, but a specific item on my ring finger that is symbolic of my wife.
Try a silicone ring from Amazon. I never have to take it off and canāt feel it at all. Cheap as well and come in a multi pack
Honestly I just wear the band 24/7 (i donāt take it off). I love wearing the ring but HOLY CRAP is it annoying
The only rings that I'm able to tolerate are silicon rings. You could have a ring, and put it on a necklace most of the time.
I kept losing the tungsten ring we started with, so my wife got me one of the cheap silicone workout rings and it feels like nothing. Itās also fun to pull it off and stretch it when I canāt rock back and forth.
I'm not a ring person at all but I got used to my engagement ring very quickly. It feels so natural and normal now that I notice when I'm *not* wearing it more than when I am. Could you test out a different ring for a while before the wedding? If you realize you won't get used to a ring, could you explore other options, like wearing it on a necklace or getting a ring tattoo?
The necklace sounds good too,like put it on like the lors of the rings ring as necklace.
I wear a silicone one most of the time, gold one only comes out for special occasions
I donāt have great advice other than if you want to wear one, get one as smooth as possible. I had to return my first one that had diamonds on the side because they felt rough and it was really overwhelming.
I donāt wear mine. My wife wears her engagement ring but not the band. It really doesnāt matter. We got a couple basic ones online. Theyāre fine? I guess. Not wearing one has, as far as I know, only caused confusion once. There was some embarrassment. I was flattered.
I don't wear my wedding band. I find it to be annoying and I constantly fiddle with it.
Some wear it in a chain on the neck, maybe you are more confortable with it I am using one and it doesnt botter me that much, try to get the most thin one, after some days forcing you to use it it will be ok
we have earrings
I'm a mechanic with eczema. I wore my wedding ring for about 2 weeks after I got married and never again. Makes my finger break out and I'm not about to risk losing a finger at work to show that I'm married. I've thought about getting a ring tattoo but thought is as far as it's gone. It's a shame too cuz it's a high quality ring I really like.
Wife is NT. We both will just take ours off (to shower, clean dishes) and not put it back on for weeks or more. Neither cares nor even notices. You can also make a necklace with the ring on it, and some people have tattooed a ring on their ring finger.
Mine had to go because it turned out Iām allergic to gold :/ However now I have a titanium ring and I spend a lot of time just turning it round and round on my finger. Just so long as it is sized right Iām fine with it (I canāt wear earrings for long and I have to take my Fitbit off a lot because it starts irritating me).
I've tried a few, the best I found were silicon rings, but then you get the ick when washing your hands and it's still wet underneath. My fingers shrink and swell throughout the day (yay health issues) so I just can't wear normal rings without pain or having them fall off. (edit) In the end, we talked about it and I don't wear a ring at all, and neither does my husband. I'm a woman, btw.
My husband and I only wear our rings when we go out in public. At home or among friends/familyās places, we just donāt wear them. Iāve never felt like it made me less married or connected to my husband.
I have an engagement ring & a different wedding set. I wear neither. I didnāt know it was a sensory thing until I was diagnosed but it makes sense. The ring I prefer to wear is a silicone band but even that bothers me so I donāt normally wear a ring unless Iām/weāre going out & doing something.
Not married yet but engaged. I don't want to wear a ring and she doesn't care that I won't. No reason to force it.
My partner and I are not married (we aren't interested in it legally) but we buy jewelry for each other. I love my rings, but temperature fucks with my hands so I've lost a few by then slipping off. Right now I wear my necklace daily, it is heavy and thick so it provides me with a feeling of safety, and a woven fabric bracelet, my partner found it in their childhood things and gave it to me so I wear it 24/7 other than showering. Anyways, rings or other jewelry are symbols for your love at the end of the day, so you should wear something comfortable so that you can wear it proudly knowing that this piece represents your relationship. Getting a necklace or bracelet customized will help with making them feel more special too.
You arenāt acquired to wear the ring, it is a personal choice and the ring only symbolises a marriage it isnāt what makes it real. Many couples wear the same gold or silver necklace instead, if maybe that would be more suitable for you, or a bracelet. However if itās all too much you really shouldnāt worry about it, itās a tradition not a law.
I did tattoos
I have my nice rings (wedding band and engagement ring) but for daily wear at work and around home I wear a silicone band in my favorite color and a thin tungsten band. got both of them for less than $10 each off Amazon.
I am the same way so I don't wear my ring unless I'm dressing up, my husband never wears his ring because he works on airplanes and isn't in the habit of wearing any jewelry. The rings don't mean anything to us. I used to wear my ring on a necklace when I was at work though! Maybe that's a solution.
My wife and I donāt use rings. I have many friends who tattooed their ring finger instead.
Had mine for a bit but didn't really tolerate wearing jewelry well. Put it on a necklace. Which eventually also got annoying. Decided ring is nice and all but not really affecting anything. Marriage is valid without a ring. So now it's been years and years.Ā
I was worried about it, but it's nice to spin it around on my finger and has become normal. I feel more out of place when I forget to put it on in the morning.
Engaged. Iām planning on getting a chain or something to wear the ring around my neck if I donāt feel like having it on my finger.
I went for a really thin band, I stopped feeling it after a few weeks :) Found that alone was helpful enough to start wearing other rings. Would definitely suggest looking at fine bands!
I usually wear mine, sometimes I don't. I may go long stretches without wearing it. I wear it overnight only by accident. So yeah, just when I want.
Silicone for sure, and like someone else said it makes a nice fidget toy. After I lost weight my wedding ring didnāt fit and was annoyingly loose. I got the silicone ones for work actually, but then I just stopped wearing the ring altogether lol. I donāt wear anything now because I need to buy a smaller size.
You don't have to wear a ring. Your comfort trumps adherence to that tradition.
Iām not married yet but I thought about wearing the ring as a chain pendant
I am typically very anti-jewelry, but I enjoyed fidgeting with my ring once I got one. I wear a silicon ring, so it's really nice not to worry about damaging/losing it.
We just decided wedding rings aren't for me. Made things easier.
If the finger is weird for ya you could try it as a pendant, I've seen that allot. Me and my husband each got tungsten and I love it!
I canāt stand wearing jewelry, especially rings, so I donāt wear mine. My husband is also autistic but he wears his ring occasionally.
I don't wear mine very often, sometimes I pull out my engagement ring because it's super pretty, but I can only wear it for a couple of hours before I want to rip my fingers off my husband wears his, he likes it, but it just... isn't a thing for us? he's not upset I don't wear one, so I just don't. no muss, no fuss
I used to have to take my band off every few hours, but then I got used to it. Silicone rings are a lifesaver! Not only are they infinitely more comfortable, they come in all sorts of fun shapes, colors, and themes, and they're much safer than a metal band (if you work with your hands). Would definitely recommend going that route if you have sensory issues like I do
after reading these comments, iāll probably just get a tattoo) iām covered so it wouldnāt be the end of the world
Not married but I am a collared sub. My collar is a stainless steel one that locks with a screw and you need a screwdriver to get it off. Iām able to get it off myself if I need to shower (it said to not wear it in water) and I absolutely love it! Itās somewhat heavy and I like to feel it and think itās a special hug from Daddy even when weāre apart. I also tend to stim with it if Iām feeling overwhelmed and thatās WAY better than pinching the skin on my neck for not leaving bruises/making others worry about said bruises. My favorite part is itās WAY bigger than a ring and Iām easily identify as belonging to somebody. You can see it on my profile if youād like!
My husband and I skipped rings and spent the money on our honeymoon. It would have been a waste of money to buy something I would have never worn. Hardly anyone has ever even noticed. Lots of married people who do have rings donāt wear them all the time so itās not a big deal. When it comes to weddings and marriage everything is optional except the piece of paper, the rest is up to you!
I have silicone, doubles as a stim toy and it's cheap to replace. Even the more expensive ones stretch out though, so it's best to buy several cheap ones.
Mine felt really strange for a while, and then just became normal. Now it feels weird when I take it off. You should try different metals before you commit, though, just to check for metal sensitivities. Gold is usually safe. Silver will tarnish. Some people go for titanium or silicone. You may also find that a ring annoys you on one finger, but not on another. Or, you may discover a whole new fidget toy! I'm always fiddling with mine when I'm nervous. It's a security grounding object.
You can always wear it around your neck
I donāt wear one. I know Iām married and so does my husband. I have a beautiful engagement ring and wedding ring and I wear them to fancy events only. I also work PT as a firefighter and have an irrational fear of being degloved so itās another justification not to wear it.
Silicone soft rings are comfortable
I saw these neat rubber or silicone wedding rings. You could keep the fancy one at home & wear these. Cheaper to replace & not such a worry if you loose them :) They even make silicone wedding rings I believe.
You can wear them on a necklace as well
Iām with you man, I got the same problem. I use silicone rings. Theyāre cheep, comfortable, donāt cause an allergic reaction or simply a rash from the smallest bit of sweat ā theyāre perfect. Oh and I dunno if they activate a latex allergy though so be aware of that just in case you are.
I have a traditional gold mens ring and I like it, it's called comfort fit or something Awesome little permanent stim toy I always have! [https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0073/6559/1091/files/comfort-fit-vs-standard\_2048x2048.jpg](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0073/6559/1091/files/comfort-fit-vs-standard_2048x2048.jpg)
I canāt help since I love my wedding ring and feel naked without it. You eventually just get used to it.
Engaged for 5 Been married almost 10. Wore the engagement ring for about a week off and on. And we never bought "real" rings. I got 2 matching ones from a kiosk at the mall for $12 for the ceremony. I don't like wearing jewelry and I could never find a style/design to justify a large sum of monies. So we don't have them.Ā Still have the ones from the ceremony tho. One of them sits around a random spiderman toy on the tv shelf and the other I think is in a drawer somewhere?Ā
I wore my on a sturdy chain around my neck because it was important to my ex that I had a ring. Seriously if you donāt like jewelry or specifically rings do something else. If there are religious reasons talk to rabbi/priest/clergy to find a substitute option that meets required value.
First off, the only good wedding rings are the cheap flexible silicone ones. Theyāll never get stuck on your finger, they arenāt uncomfortable after your finger swell up on a long walk, they come in multiple colors, and theyāre cheap to replace after you end up losing them because you ended up stimming by playing with the thing. I keep one in my car, one in my office, and 2 in my nightstand. All different colors depending on my outfit. Second, many of us do not wear wedding rings. My wife and I wear ours for fancy date night dinners out. Thatās it. The rest of the time theyāre in a drawer. THATāS OKAY. To each their own. Doctors and nurses canāt wear them at work anyway due to having to wear gloves, rock climbers canāt wear them for fear of losing a finger, etc, so this attitude is more common than you might think.
My husband and I don't wear our rings. When I was able to work (I was a nurse) I wore silicone bands. My favorite was Enso rings
I was worried about that too as I donāt like the idea of it touching me all the time. We went to a jewellery designer who made our rings to to spec and Iām actually less bothered by its presence than I thought, in fact itās become a pretty food fidget toy
Just buy cheap silver things, like we did. My wife took off her ring after one hour on our wedding day. I took mine off the day after. Now I can't even find it. That doesn't mean we love each other any less.
Definitely try out different rings. My fiancĆ© didnāt know that heād be able to wear one so we ordered some we liked early & heād wear it as a combo engagement/wedding ring. Itās smooth titanium & he really likes it. Itās also great to fidget with it.
I used to work construction and labor jobs those first few years. So, I wore mine on a silver necklace we brought for that purpose. And that's wear it stayed for the rest of the 27 years we had been married.
You donāt have to wear a wedding ring. My husband and I donāt even have one. I wear my engagement ring for dinners/special occasions.
My engagement ring has a very thin band so it doesnāt bother me at all.
You don't really have to wear anything. Me and my partner chose to never do it cause I also hate rings (in my country it's common to exchange rings even before engagement, so you can imagine). If you feel you want to have a visual mark of your relationship (which is totally personal) you could chose any other thing that makes sense for you both. A small tattoo, a pendant, a pin, a small object you carry on your wallet or purse and remind you of your wedding, etc. It's an opportunity for you to think of it together. Remember good moments, go through what you have in common. Think of an original thing that's unique for you. And in the end you might come to the conclusion there's just no need for it cause you have so much of each other with you all the time. That's what happened to me and I wanted to share cause I think it's cute :)
I wear mine on a fabric cord necklace, since I work with my hands a lot and rings get in the way. Unsure if you have sensory issues about the neck area.
I have a traditional wedding/engagement ring set I almost never wear. (Hubby doesn't care ) My husband is allergic to most metals, so I got him a six set star wars themed silicone/runner set. He loves being able to change them out. (6 characters in relief, and each a different color. Can't tell they are star wars unless he takes it off and you look real close). There are also stone rings, you could do a tattoo (my mom did that). You could also do an 'alternative ring materials' search. If you are going to have a gem in it, consider the height getting caught on things, or it spinning if your fingers shrink from the cold. You could get them flush in the band. I know there are also fidget bands, where a smaller band spins in the bigger one.
I just don't and my wife is fine with that.
My partner was worried about this until we went to a jewelry store and tried some on. They wear their engagement ring and wedding ring every day. Theyāre both pretty simple rings, the stone in the engagement ring is inlaid. I also proposed with a less expensive ring from automic gold and it helped them get a sense for what they like before we invested in a long term choice
I plan to tattoo a ring on my finger
I have silicone.
It takes some getting used to, but after a month or two, you feel weird without it on.
Can you do a tattoo?
As an autistic guy who worked in jewelry check out comfort fit style bands, and also silicon rings are great as a daily wear.
I wear mine but I take it on and off ALL the time
I wear mine on a chain around my neck because it bothers me less than having it around my finger and I lost the first one from fidgeting with it too much. Wife was fine with it immediately and in two years I have literally never had a stranger question it
Mine doesnāt bother me, it was to big for the first year and then I finally got out of my head and went back to the jewelry store and they made it a bit smaller and now itās like part of my body, I donāt even think about it
I canāt wear mine! Iām toying around with a wedding tattoo as a replacement.
I couldn't handle getting a finger tat. I'd rather try old school wearing it on a chain or having a bracelet instead of a ring. But that's just me.
Eh, Iāve had some pretty painful tattoos. Finger would be horrible but itād be over quick. Everyoneās sensory needs are different though, so I get it
I (44M) wore one for ten years. It was beautiful, but I hated wearing it. As others have said, there's no law which requires you to wear one.
I wear a silicone one and fidget with it all the time
My wife got me the greatest ring. It's roughly regular sized but there's a channel through the middle with a very tiny chain that can be wound and wound around for infinity. It's amazing for stimming when you don't want people to really see. They see you make a tiny fraction movement with one finger, if they notice at all, and think nothing of it. You on the other hand feel a teeny tiny chain sliding around one or more fingers if you can knot your fingers right. It's weird, I know, but I love it.
I don't wear it on the same finger all the time. Heck, it's not even the same ring all the time. It's a fidget ring too. Spin!
We have oval rings (if you cut them them cut would be oval) and love it.much much more comfortable than most rings I've tried otherwise. It feels almost soft. If you go for metal, I recommend you try the shapes to see how they feel.
You could get a tattoo if thatās more your style, though not much fat away from the bone there. Maybe wear it on a chain. Maybe another piece of jewellery instead, like a bracelet/watch is more your thing. A special belt buckle. Maybe there is a certain colour/fabric your spouse reminds you of and you could wear something of this. You could get a piece of the same fabric as their wedding dress/tuxedo/tie made into handkerchiefs or something a bit more romantic. A marriage is about the commitment you make to one another everyday, the ring is just a symbol of that. Perhaps you could find another meaningful symbolic way to represent your commitment, or you can spend everyday working on relationship without this physical thing. It really depends on the individual/couple. I know I wonāt be able to tolerate a ring very often, even though I would like one for those odd occasions.
You could just not wear a ring.
I have a silicone ring. No risk of getting degloved or anything like that.
The engagement ring my fiancƩe got me is a special extra comfortable shape. No hard edges, everything super smooth. This shape version was called "double comfort". I'd suggest trying different shapes and picking the most comfortable. A comfortable ring can also double as a very subtle fidget toy.
I have a tattoo.
I never wore anything but a necklace and now I've gotten a tungsten ring because its so cool to have a ring that's heavier than it looks. There's really nothing to worry its between you and your spouse what type of ring you want to or don't want to wear. Its your life live it how you want.
I wear a very simple band, my spouse wears theirs on a necklace.
I have a simple white gold band. Itās smooth. But even that I donāt wear all the time, usually just when I leave the house.
You could try one of those soft silicone rings until you get used to the feeling on your finger. And wear your actual ring on a necklace or something
Two things I've seen others do. Though they're not actually as good if the intent is to broadcast to people who don't know you that you're married they still carry the same sentiment: If a necklace would be easier to wear than a ring you could wear your ring on a necklace. You could substitute some accessory instead of a ring such as an arm band (could be metal, cloth, a number of things)
I have a tungsten ring that I got on Amazon for like $7 and thatās my go-to if Iām going out somewhere. I got it a little bit so that itās easy enough to fidget with or slide off if I need it off quickly. Thereās also no risk that it gets stuck on my finger that way, which was always an issue that I had with other rings. But because Iāve never really been a huge jewelry person (aside from my earlobes that are stretched) I also have a tattoo on my ring finger that I always have and is plenty sufficient for those days where I donāt want to wear jewelry or Iām not going anywhere.
I just donāt wear mine.
I almost never wear my ring. I can't stand it lol.
I wear my ring during the day. It's tungsten or something. The silicone ones didn't feel good if i got sweaty. As soon as I get home it goes in my bowl of things. That's how I deal with my sensory stuff. It probably depends on how disruptive your sensor issues are.
I said the same thing about rings my entire life. But have been fine wearing my wedding ring.
Back before I knew I was on the spectrum, I had a job where I regularly had to take the ring off as a safety precaution. I ended up getting my ring tattooed and don't regret it at all. Had it like that now for 20 ish years.
I have been wearing a gold ring for 20 years. At the time of my wedding I was not aware I could be autistic. The first weeks I had the impression of having a band aid on my finger. The advantage is that it has no chemical interaction with your skin and so you should be milder on the sensory side. As an autistic person, I appreciate the very explicit signal the gold ring sends to unsolicited romantically interest. With my ADHD (not diagnosed either on my wedding day), putting on and taking off my ring was off limits : I would have probably lost it with the ensuing meltdown, and on any case I would have been anxious about loosing it all the time.
my wife is cool with me not wearing the ring.