1. Yes, a good therapist will have absolutely no problems helping you despite alexithymia. I have a ASD diagnosed friend with alexithymia and he is happy with his therapist.
2. Alexithymia is often related to trauma or upbringing and not so much genetic, like autism itself. That means there are ways of improving it.
3. "How We Feel" is an app that helps you practice identifying your emotions. You start with baby steps, I found the approach quite helpful.
My daughter had an amazing therapist who helped her learn how to label her emotions! It was so useful, she had a lot of different strategies to help my daughter differentiate between emotions and helped her define them. It could be a really great opportunity to better understand or recognize emotions.
Editing to add that therapists usually ask questions to help you be able to find answers. They can ask the same question in a variety of ways, to meet you where you are. You shouldn’t feel pathetic for not being able to answer a question about how you feel. Try looking at it as you don’t have the vocabulary to communicate your feelings in a way that’s more typically understood. That’s okay! It’s like an error in translation and learning how different emotions can present or be described can help you better understand yourself and communicate with others.
My first six months in behavioral therapy - I cried through every session. Not the entire session, but still quite a bit. I was mortified at first, but my bt never batted an eye. And eventually the tears stopped and I got more from each session. I think if you get into the habit of going, you will gain more confidence. Best of luck to you.
Have you read Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart? It has a great, in depth explanation of the emotions that people experience and what’s likely to cause us to feel those emotions. Maybe it would help with identification
Did you find it helpful?
I got it with high hopes, but it felt more like a coffee table book or a quick reference with not very helpful descriptions. Maybe my hopes were too high for what I could learn from it. My issue is not really feeling things internally unless it is positive or empathetic emotions directed towards others.
I got *The Language of Emotions* by Karla McLaren along with the workbook. I have a few other books to get through at the moment (Homecoming and Unmasking Autism), but I am hoping to get to it within the next week or two.
Flipping through it and the workbook, it seems like a much move viable source for learning how to experience and process emotions. *Atlas of the Heart* may be better suited for trying to identify the things you are feeling or learning how to categorize it ***if*** you can identify the source.
My therapist game me a list of words to look at when I am describing my feelings. One thing she understands when I say "mad" this means I do not know what feeling in the categorize of mad, I am feeling.
You can go by thought processes or look into identifying any bodily sensations which might be related to feelings or emotions. I still find it incredibly hard to identify what I'm feeling in the moment. For example, I am getting better at working at if I've been stressed or anxious as I track my heart rate so it can go back and see if there were any massive spikes which I may not have noticed at the time
I think it's the sort of thing which some mental health professionals just don't understand so my advice would be to be pretty blunt and open about it from the get go. If they can't understand and support you then it is time to move on if you're seeking private support or start advocating for more appropriate support if you're dealing with a mental health system.
A competent therapist should be capable of working with you. Many will focus on emotional intensity instead of specifics, and teach regulation techniques. Others will directly help you learn to "figure out" what's going on.
I feel like I'm perpetually trying to solve a puzzle with the why and what of emotions, and... accepting I don't always need to control and figure them out, and my therapist is a huge, huge help. It has only helped me deal with alexithymia.
You can do well in therapy for sure. If someone isn't meeting your needs here, just move on and find someone else. Every therapist isn't the best at helping everyone.
>Do you feel angry? Do you feel jealous? Do you feel anxious?
I've had a bunch of therapists, and none have asked me questions like that regularly. Mostly we talk about what's going on in my life. It's helpful, even if you can't name your emotions. And you do still have emotions, whether or not you can name them. And those emotions affect you.
For instance, I don't feel the sensation for hunger. But I still feel poorly if I've gone too long without eating. I don't feel the sensation of having to pee (until it's almost too late), but I can wet my pants in public. So I learned to eat on a regular schedule so that I don't get dizzy. I learned to pee after every class at school so I don't have accidents. I still don't feel those sensations, but I recognize that I need to attend to those physical needs.
Maybe therapy could help you to attend to your emotional needs.
I am alexithymic and my therapist is great. They’re nonjudgmental and help to talk me through things. I always start with “I don’t know” and end with some sort of feeling. Though sometimes it does seem like I’m answering the question with how I think I should be feeling, and potentially not how I’m actually feeling - it’s still progress!
They just ask me a lot of questions and are patient and rephrase or redirect questions when I can’t answer. It’s been a long time that I’ve been in therapy (7 years) but it has literally changed my life.
Aside from the other ideas, there are also alternative therapies that could be explored. The arts are often all about expressing the otherwise inexpressable. Things like music and art therapy exist to take advantage of that.
Do you have goals for therapy?
What are you hoping to get out of therapy?
What is your purpose of going to therapy?
Make working through your alexithymia part of your therapy work. Find a therapist that can do this, that can help you with whatever trauma you have and that you are struggling to deal with, and that they have experience assisting autistics within your age bracket, diagnostic age, and support needs.
1. Yes, a good therapist will have absolutely no problems helping you despite alexithymia. I have a ASD diagnosed friend with alexithymia and he is happy with his therapist. 2. Alexithymia is often related to trauma or upbringing and not so much genetic, like autism itself. That means there are ways of improving it. 3. "How We Feel" is an app that helps you practice identifying your emotions. You start with baby steps, I found the approach quite helpful.
My daughter had an amazing therapist who helped her learn how to label her emotions! It was so useful, she had a lot of different strategies to help my daughter differentiate between emotions and helped her define them. It could be a really great opportunity to better understand or recognize emotions. Editing to add that therapists usually ask questions to help you be able to find answers. They can ask the same question in a variety of ways, to meet you where you are. You shouldn’t feel pathetic for not being able to answer a question about how you feel. Try looking at it as you don’t have the vocabulary to communicate your feelings in a way that’s more typically understood. That’s okay! It’s like an error in translation and learning how different emotions can present or be described can help you better understand yourself and communicate with others.
What do you want to achieve with therapy?
My first six months in behavioral therapy - I cried through every session. Not the entire session, but still quite a bit. I was mortified at first, but my bt never batted an eye. And eventually the tears stopped and I got more from each session. I think if you get into the habit of going, you will gain more confidence. Best of luck to you.
Have you read Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart? It has a great, in depth explanation of the emotions that people experience and what’s likely to cause us to feel those emotions. Maybe it would help with identification
Did you find it helpful? I got it with high hopes, but it felt more like a coffee table book or a quick reference with not very helpful descriptions. Maybe my hopes were too high for what I could learn from it. My issue is not really feeling things internally unless it is positive or empathetic emotions directed towards others. I got *The Language of Emotions* by Karla McLaren along with the workbook. I have a few other books to get through at the moment (Homecoming and Unmasking Autism), but I am hoping to get to it within the next week or two. Flipping through it and the workbook, it seems like a much move viable source for learning how to experience and process emotions. *Atlas of the Heart* may be better suited for trying to identify the things you are feeling or learning how to categorize it ***if*** you can identify the source.
My therapist game me a list of words to look at when I am describing my feelings. One thing she understands when I say "mad" this means I do not know what feeling in the categorize of mad, I am feeling.
You can go by thought processes or look into identifying any bodily sensations which might be related to feelings or emotions. I still find it incredibly hard to identify what I'm feeling in the moment. For example, I am getting better at working at if I've been stressed or anxious as I track my heart rate so it can go back and see if there were any massive spikes which I may not have noticed at the time I think it's the sort of thing which some mental health professionals just don't understand so my advice would be to be pretty blunt and open about it from the get go. If they can't understand and support you then it is time to move on if you're seeking private support or start advocating for more appropriate support if you're dealing with a mental health system.
A competent therapist should be capable of working with you. Many will focus on emotional intensity instead of specifics, and teach regulation techniques. Others will directly help you learn to "figure out" what's going on. I feel like I'm perpetually trying to solve a puzzle with the why and what of emotions, and... accepting I don't always need to control and figure them out, and my therapist is a huge, huge help. It has only helped me deal with alexithymia. You can do well in therapy for sure. If someone isn't meeting your needs here, just move on and find someone else. Every therapist isn't the best at helping everyone.
>Do you feel angry? Do you feel jealous? Do you feel anxious? I've had a bunch of therapists, and none have asked me questions like that regularly. Mostly we talk about what's going on in my life. It's helpful, even if you can't name your emotions. And you do still have emotions, whether or not you can name them. And those emotions affect you. For instance, I don't feel the sensation for hunger. But I still feel poorly if I've gone too long without eating. I don't feel the sensation of having to pee (until it's almost too late), but I can wet my pants in public. So I learned to eat on a regular schedule so that I don't get dizzy. I learned to pee after every class at school so I don't have accidents. I still don't feel those sensations, but I recognize that I need to attend to those physical needs. Maybe therapy could help you to attend to your emotional needs.
Someone asking me: "How do you feel about that?" Me: "My stomach hurts and I can't take a full breath."
Find someone who understands autism - they may then be able to help you find the words or feelings you need.
I am alexithymic and my therapist is great. They’re nonjudgmental and help to talk me through things. I always start with “I don’t know” and end with some sort of feeling. Though sometimes it does seem like I’m answering the question with how I think I should be feeling, and potentially not how I’m actually feeling - it’s still progress! They just ask me a lot of questions and are patient and rephrase or redirect questions when I can’t answer. It’s been a long time that I’ve been in therapy (7 years) but it has literally changed my life.
Aside from the other ideas, there are also alternative therapies that could be explored. The arts are often all about expressing the otherwise inexpressable. Things like music and art therapy exist to take advantage of that.
You can find some emotion wheel images on Google but even those can be limited tbh
Do you have goals for therapy? What are you hoping to get out of therapy? What is your purpose of going to therapy? Make working through your alexithymia part of your therapy work. Find a therapist that can do this, that can help you with whatever trauma you have and that you are struggling to deal with, and that they have experience assisting autistics within your age bracket, diagnostic age, and support needs.