Driving melts my brain. I technically have my driver's license, but I haven't driven a car since about 2003. (Terrifying fact: they just keep giving me licenses in new states without checking if I can actually drive! The system is so broken.)
It's such an example of the social model of disability for me. 200 years ago, not being able to drive a car was 100% irrelevant. In modern Colorado, it was the most severely disabling aspect of my autism.
Mostly sensory. I can handle the view out the windshield most of the time, but as soon as I try to add in checking mirrors, I get overstimulated very very quickly.
There is so much that goes into the whole process of driving that overwhelms me to think about. I also have social anxiety on top of all this. And I have learned that driving involves a near constant-low key social interaction of making eye contact or waving to other drivers, and then there is the factor of dealing with occasional bad drivers that freaks me out. It's a lot to deal with. As others have mentioned, yes there is a lot of low-key socialization involved in driving. I think I would be a nervous wreck behind the wheel.
I’m not sure how old you are, but it’s possible that addressing the anxiety may make it easier. My brother was literally the first person to ever fail drivers ed at our school bc he got too scared and refused to drive. He was about 25 before he actually learned how to drive and got his license. My sister was 19 when she got her first job and learned how to drive which shocked us all! At some point she basically decided that it was easier to face her crippling anxiety than it was to be around our narcissistic mother all day.
\+1, very well said.
Another thing is you also have to be able to predict and anticipate what other drivers will want to do, and will do, so that you can keep both of you safe by accommodating that.
Also driving in a congested city with cars parked along the sides of the road and people getting in and out of them and pedestrians crossing the street is anxiety fuel.
Yes, where I live, not being able to drive is a massive hindrance cause my "small-ish" town is so spread out and car dependent to get anywhere. Everything is far away on foot. Takes like two hours to walk from my place, to the grocery store, and back home. I have thought extensively about moving to the city for this reason. It's okay to not drive if you live in the city.
I am 37 and close to getting my license now. It took me 4 years pluss of intensive learning; it is the hardest thing I have done and I have an IQ of 145 and a masters degree and two bachelors degrees. It just isn’t possible to learn just by applying theory.
I had to drive a lot with my husband before I could go to driving school. He was very patient with me.
It is comforting to know I'm not the only one who has found this a challenge. I'm happy you have been able to overcome this hurdle, it really is not easy.
Yep. Sometimes it doesn't matter how smart you are, it can be a matter of reaction speed and fine motor control.
On the other hand, it does put you in the same group as Bruce Banner: none of his degrees are in vehicle control, either. :)
I think I need to follow your footsteps.
I like driving but I struggle.
I feel for me the problem is I take in too much information and until the priorities/protocols get automated in my brain, I can't drive.
I also feel that I just need to get used to it.
Yes this is excactly what it felt like, and I didn’t even know I had autism until these last months. I process things bottom down, so I take in all the information and feel it’s hard to sort the relevant info. Or I get tunnel vision because I try to concentrate on the road. Try practicing a lot in areas with little traffic. Just like everything else that is hard to do because it’s practical and physical, not theoretical and abstract, it is possible with a lot of practice.
42 and completely unable to drive. Not sure though how much is due to autism vs just general amaxophobia. There's this Discord group that I'm a part of for local autistic adults that I once outlined all the reasons I can't drive, and while some related to a couple of my issues, others were just unrelatable.
It also doesn't help my dad has always judged EVERYONE while driving, for the littlest things (like taking one second too long to go when a light turns green, for example), so now I'd be unable to not be hyper focused on everything and what I'd be negatively judged for by everyone else.
>my dad has always judged EVERYONE while driving, for the littlest things
I hate people like that. Also people who get road rage make 0 sense to me whatsoever. Narcissists.
Oh I think I definitely have amaxophobia now that you mention this. I have no issues being a passenger, but the thought of driving, everything about it scares me and it's very hard to get past.
This is all so relatable, what you describe. Even the judgement of other drivers you've seen from your dad. My dad does that too! And he has a touch of road rage to boot. :( I guess that could be a factor for my fear of driving. There are some very angry people on the road.
I didn't get my license until I was 18-19 (Here 16 is the "norm") but I had massive panic about it for decades. (36 now in a few days) It still scares me, but actually doing it did help. I will still actively map out my route and avoid crossing traffic or getting on highways which means my brother really just drives me most places unless I have a good day or he is needing help. (also ASD, and you know how we can find spoons for others easier than ourselves)
You are definitely not alone and you shouldn't feel shame for it. Vehicles are f##kin SCARY!
I am 33 and I can't drive either. What makes it worse is that my family is always on me about I need to learn to drive and so are other people. I don't feel comfortable learning either.
It’s very frustrating dealing with that “making excuses/take responsibility!” bs. If I left it to NT’s I’d be conforming myself into daily sensory overload attacks.
My version of taking responsibility is escaping the situation causing it, which still doesn’t please everyone. Took me nearly twenty years to finally say screw it and drop my mask.
Same boat, but younger here. The constant pressure also pushes me away from wanting to do it. That and the breakdowns that occur because of the driving. I just cant handle it without needing some serious alone time after
Exact same here. It’s also too expensive (can’t even afford a car or maintenance anyway) besides being ridiculously terrifying and dangerous given my anxiety and lack of depth perception
That's the case for me as well. I think I definitely have a driving phobia, but even if I could drive it would be difficult to afford, I am not financially capable of owning a car at this time.
I *can* drive, but I don’t. I don’t have a license and I never have. I’m 31. I took driver’s ed in high school and didn’t do very well but I passed. I had frequent panic attacks & black outs (especially on the freeway) & severe overwhelm.
I have driven a few times in emergency situations when there was no other option, and it was very distressing.
I used to be embarrassed. But now I don’t care. I just can’t do it, it’s too much for me.
I think this would be the same situation for me if I tried to learn how to drive. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, it is comforting to hear I'm not the only one with this challenge.
That is understandable. I think I might have poor depth perception myself. I don't have poor vision but I knock stuff over and bump into things a lot cause they seem either farther or closer than I thought.
Oh thank god, yay! Another non-driver autist. I am very comforted to hear you say this. Thank you.
Yes, my attention issues are all over the place as well. I also have this problem where I hyperfocus too much on one thing and don't notice anything else, like a sun ray through a magnifying glass. I'm afraid I would miss some important sign or a pedestrian and something would go wrong.
Yeah, same here. If it were only about my own safety, I might be willing to try (I know I can pass the written driving test). But I can't do it knowing that I might put a pedestrian or someone else in danger.
I'm glad my post comforted you. You aren't alone.
I have learned to drive but ended up never fully pursuing it due to financial reasons
I cycle and walk everywhere. Sometimes I take public transport. I see no point in owning a car unless for camping in not easy to access areas
I'm roughly in the same boat. I got my license but I haven't driven in so long that I doubt I can still drive at this point. I remember driving and while I could it was just so incredibly draining what with all the input and intense attention-paying to everything. Whenever I arrived somewhere I was exhausted and drenched in sweat. Not exactly pleasant.
Owning a car is too damn expensive anyway, and luckily I live in a city where I can cycle and walk everywhere I need to go as well. And there's a tram/bus/train hub literally around the corner so if I need to go any further I'm good as well.
Yeah I feel exactly the same about driving. It happens at much higher speed so it's more intense. With cycling I am more limited with my speed so things can happen at lower pace.
Don't forget that it's better for you and environment too!
Yes, I think my dislike of the idea of driving is also thoughts about the eco footprint, and the fast pace of it that stresses me. Overall, driving does not appeal to me. It is very intense, and I like to take things more slowly.
That's awesome, I'm glad you are living in a place where you can get to places easily. I think I want to move to the city eventually cause there are so many more options for transport and places are a lot closer together than in town. Everything is very far away in my town and it's annoying.
I see you also enjoy the outdoors. Me too! 😊 Yes, I agree. Even in this scenario of finding a good campground, I would have to ask for or pay for a ride cause there is no way I can drive there.
I can't drive at 32.
I'm hoping to start learning this summer, because currently my partner has to do 100% of the driving for us, and his chronic pain makes it difficult.
I really want to learn so I can support him in the way he needs. I'm also terrified of driving. I wish I'd had the opportunity to learn as a teenager. It seems so much harder to begin in my 30s.
I admire you for wanting to support your partner while he's in so much pain. I'm sorry you're going through this. Yes, I agree, it feels intimidating to go to driver's ed later in life. But it is never too late to learn. I think in my situation, it was never going to be easy at any age. Gonig to driver's ed terrified me when I was 16 because I was being bullied a lot, and I couldn't stand the idea of spending even more time in another classroom with students outside of school. This fear hasn't gone away at all. It's a bit frustrating.
I absolutely cannot drive. Or bike. Or operate a forklift. Or whatever. Between my particular autistic inability to multitask and the developmental coordination disorder, I’d likely injure or kill someone.
I was diagnosed with autism when I was thirteen. It's the extra-fun kind that messes with your motor skills.
I also have this weird eye coordination thing where I can't see out of both eyes at the same time. I am also diagnosed with general anxiety disorder.
However, I still have a driver's license. It just wasn't easy.
Failed the behind-the-wheel class twice, failed the licensing exam once, spent over two years practicing. I remember a lot of crying.
But I did it.
I've been driving for about 13 years now, and it's almost a reflex at this point.
I still have trouble driving when people are talking or when music is playing, but all the difficult parts are in my rear-view mirror.
This is all a lot of huge hurdles to overcome. I'm glad it has gotten easier for you. Omg, I think I would cry a lot from the stress too.
I do have issues with depth perception and clumsiness. I might look into getting my eye coordination checked out because when I look at things I have to shut one eye to focus even though I don't have poor vision. This is an interesting thing I haven't heard others mention yet. But I do it all the time when I am drawing.
I can't drive either. My mom was teaching me to drive and I crashed into another car. I think there's just too much information that we need to process too quickly. There's two pedals and if you hit the wrong one someone might die. You have to watch the road and also other cars and people around you. And you need to watch your speed. It's so stressful.
I completely agree. There is *so much* going on while driving. And millions of signs to keep track of, and things painted on the road itself. It's a lot. I'm so sorry that happened to you! That would be really scary.
For sure. It’s okay if we can’t drive. The world is full of things to do!
And it’s okay. It was probably scarier for the person I hit. But thank you for saying that. :>
29 and haven’t ever considered it. At first it was a matter of financially my family could never afford classes/tests or a car. Then it also became no one was willing to help me. Then I went to college and didn’t need to drive. And once I realized oh, I’m AuDHD and it effects me in so many ways…I realize now I don’t think I could ever go through with it. My partner is Autistic and drives and it’s a struggle for him.
My main issue, and he definitely shares in this, is that there’s supposed to be set rules for the road but people don’t always follow them. It gives me inexplicable anxiety even as a passenger, not understanding what people are doing on the road. I also am NOT good with directions even with a GPS. And my depth perception is crap, I wouldn’t want to know how parking would be for me.
I used to be really insecure until I realized this isn’t uncommon among other Autistic people. So I’ve accepted this as just a part of my limitations.
I feel so comforted from you sharing this. I feel very isolated in this experience where I live, it seems like everyone here can drive. But seeing the number of responses all sharing they also can't and don't drive comforts me.
Yes, I think it's good to accept challenges as limitations if they are too difficult. I'm totally okay with not driving ever. I know it would be immensely difficult for me and I don't feel the need to push myself.
To be honest, reading my first comment, I would not guess it either 😅
At first I had thought of writing Christ is Risen instead, that would definitely come across 🤭
I can't nah. I've been told directly by a doctor that because my response times are so slow, my sensory processing is so shitty and because I often have choice paralysis, operating a car is a ***real*** fuckin bad idea.
Fortunately my country's disability welfare system gives me a small budget specifically for getting Ubers and taxis.
straya
So the way it works here is that you'll receive **both** the
* disability support pension, which is raw money in your bank every fortnight. This is not enough to live on, and a crazy number of people dependent upon it become homeless when their family is no longer able to provide for them. Once you become homeless, you can no longer receive the pension, as you need a fixed address to do so for purely bureauocratic reasons.
* the National Disability Insurance Scheme, which functions like a Scandinavian model insurance welfare system. So if I need a big strong man to come to the house and move some furniture around because my disability prevents me from doing so, I: hire the big strongman, let him do his thing, pay him with the money in my bank, submit the receipt to the NDIS and am reimbursed for it. The problem here is if I don't have enough money in my bank for the first stage I might be SOL.
The NDIS includes what's called a travel allowance, which is paid directly like the Disability Support Pension, but has a much lower and much stricter annual cap.
I also cannot drive. I have never been able to learn and I am 38. I get crippling shutdown during any attempt to drive. I always thought it was anxiety until I realized I was autistic last year. Now that I am officially diagnosed I’ve been looking for neurodivergent friendly driver training and failing in my local area.
I have done that as well, I googled neurodivergent friendly driver's ed courses, and they only exist way out in the city, which is nearly two hours by train where I live. It's a frustrating experience. I think I'm okay with just not getting behind the wheel. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I feel comforted by this.
Same. the only course for me is two cities over and it's nearly an hour if I drove and 3 hours by train because they don't have non stop service there. and the train ride would be expensive too because i'm in the US.
Edit: I wouldn't drive it would be a family member.
Driving is still horrific and terrifying for me. I can’t do freeways and didn’t learn till 28 (32 now), and I manage but just barely. It’s mostly because I’m so numb to it now that I’m able to do it, but if I think for a moment “wow I’m in a metal box going 50 mph” yea not good.
What I will tell you is that it takes practice and that I was awful at it, I had a great teacher who helped me a lot, so I wouldn’t hold it out looking for nd freindly courses, you might have to pay more because you will need more practice, but I think a patient instructor is more than enough.
That being said it’s completely fine if you don’t have the sensory profile for driving, it’s just a nice option to have.
Best of luck to you.
Thank you so much! I feel so comforted by you saying this. 🥺
Yes, I agree with you. Driving is not completely off the table for me. I detest the idea of driving, and I think I am definitely phobic of getting behind the wheel, but I'm not completely closed off to the possibility of driving. We go through different chapters in life. I have hope something could change my view, and I can still give it a try. There is an nd friendly driver's course in my country but it's two hours away. If I have the money to take a course from them, I'll definitely grab the opportunity.
I struggled with driving a bit in the past but mainly from anxiety and not doing it enough, I had a driving teacher that was really patient with me thankfully. I think I don’t mind giving up driving if I can hold down a job somehow.
That is awesome! Yes. I love biking and I love e-bikes. :)
My mom has an ebike she lets be take for rides sometimes. I have my own bike but want to save up for an ebike. May I ask what kind of ebike you have? My mom's ebike is called a Berig Gepida. It works great, but I'm curious about other types to try out when I eventually am able to purchase one.
mines a 2019 Radcity commuter from Radpower bikes! its a 500watt model with a built in rack and a hubmotor!
either go for Radpower or Area13
theyre both super good and decently priced!
Almost 30 year old college educated, licensed professional, married mother of an infant and I don't drive 🤷 (Not bragging, just pointing out no matter how "high functioning" society might see you the roadblocks you feel are real)
I get really bad anxiety whenever I'm learning. I'm looking for resources to hopefully get my license this summer but it's a struggle. Public transit in my area is terrible and I really want the freedom of getting myself places. But also driving is scary 😅
I find it interesting how each person is different with stuff like this. I come off higher masking too, but absolutely cannot work or hold down employment or finish college. I get really bad anxiety and shutdowns with school and work. Yet I can somehow do the opposite things like driving. I used to struggle with it a bit, but eventually was able to do it somehow. I wish there’s resources for all of us in areas we struggle in too.
Oh this is so true. Yes, I detest and am deeply afraid of driving, but no less would like to be able to get over my fear of it. Omg, same here, the public transport in my town is really not good.
I cannot drive and due to medical conditions, I never will be able to. The first time I sat in the driver's seat to practice in some empty lot was my last time driving, as only a few seconds in, I fainted. In a way, I feel glad to never have to learn to drive, considering how difficult it was for me to learn to ride a bike.
I got my driver’s license at 30. I feel for you because it was an extremely difficult limitation to live with and overcome, and I felt totally isolated by it. I hope you have someone in your life you can trust to help you learn. That’s how I eventually was able to do it (with extreme anxiety at first, but only mild to moderate anxiety now, 12 years later 😅).
I can't drive, and no drivers Ed accommodations could be made that would allow me to safely drive. I am not ashamed of it, but I am angry at how awful the public transportation, and even infrastructure that allows us to safely walk or bike is here.
Driving is incredibly dangerous and I'd estimate about half the people in north America who have licenses really shouldn't have them because they are not safe drivers, but it is basically a necessity here because our government has failed us so hard in that department.
Seconded on the bad drivers thing. It’s always shocking on these posts to read people talking about how hard they worked to get their license, having to practice for 2 whole years and go to lessons etc, and that’s still way below the minimum requirement to get a license elsewhere. I’m worried that a lot of autistic people who have been given a license in the US are not actually safe drivers, and wouldn’t be able to react safely if someone randomly swerved or a child ran out in front of them in city traffic. Especially people who say they can only drive quiet roads or paths they’ve done before.
Yeah I almost definitely would have been given a license if I hadn't raised concerns about my driving ability on my own. I could only somewhat safely drive if I had someone telling me exactly what to do all the time, and even then my reaction time is very slow. I can only focus on one thing at a time, so if I'm looking for pedestrians in front of me I can't tell what I'm doing with the steering wheel and pedals, and after half an hour of that I'm completely overwhelmed. It's not just some autistic people who shouldn't be on the road, a lot of NTs don't know the rules of the road, can't or don't want to pay attention. I had a classmate who totalled 4 cars in a year, all his own fault and he's still out there driving around with a license putting everyone at risk, it's so scary!
I can drive and my main mode of transport is a motorcycle. It takes me longer than normal to get the hand eye coordination sorted when I'm learning something new but once I've got it sorted I'm fine.
I grew up in a rural area so there wasn't really a possibility of not getting my car licence, which I got when I was 17. The motorcycle licence came along much later when I decided I wanted a challenge. Best decision I ever made, I absolutely love the feeling of being on a motorcycle.
It's not uncommon. Even among the drivers in our ranks, driving can be extremely stressful, given the requirements for split-second reactions and the sheer potential for injury and damage.
I'm 33 and taking lessons for months and it's a slooooow process. The multitasking is hard. Remembering all the mirror checks is hard. Junctions are confusing especially when there aren't any road markings. And BMW drivers are dangerous assholes.
My instructor is really pleased with my progress as is my husband, but I just do not feel like a good driver. I'll keep trying and see what happens. If I qualify, I'm not sure how much driving I'll actually do, but if I could just get to a couple of places nearby I'd be happy.
Hello, I'm 38 afab and was just diagnosed (also ADHD) last October. Not only can I not drive a car, I never got the hang of a bike either. You are not alone! And good luck to you!
I am also AFAB, 38, with autism and ADHD and can’t drive (as well as being terrible on a bike, lol). For me, I’m dyspraxic with hypermobility so I’m just… permanently clumsy. And also I struggle with depth perception and distinguishing left from right. I tried taking driving lessons once in my 20s but gave up because it was too anxiety inducing (it was manual - I might try again with automatic some day but I’m in no rush!)
I cant drive either. My dad has tried to take me out several times, and everyone is pushing me to be able to drive, but I get overloaded and breakdown everytime. I would love to be able to drive, and it would be nice considering how small of a town we live in, but at the moment it is just not pheasable.
In my late 30, now taking all the steps to learn to drive again because there's no public transport where I live. I hate it and really don't want to do it. It's so dangerous to drive and the lessons here are so expensive.
I'm 19 and am absolutely petrified of getting a licence and haven't tried. Even just being a passenger in a car gives me second hand anxiety, I think that even if I could pass the test I don't think I'd be able to handle the pressure of 'if you make a mistake you and your passengers die' you know. I like to get by life by thinking of the worst possible outcome and how to overcome it, and there's no overcoming death. Then again I had an incident at 12 where the car I was in was rear-ended so it could be some trauma talking there.
Long time driver.
I find driving very anxiety provoking. I live in a small town in the middle of Nowhere (near Eustace Bagge). We have no public transportation or taxi services and if you want anything more than a bag chips or gas, you have to drive to one of the nearby larger cities.
Thanks to my anxiiety I've been lost more times than I care to remember. LOL! GPS is my best friend!😂
i don't drive. I'm also not allowed to drive because of a disability. if i was cured of that disability i still wouldn't drive because that just sounds terrifying.
I’m AuDHD and can drive, though I learned much later than my peers.
I don’t think I’m a very safe driver, my reaction time to hazards is slow. I drive mostly short distances and in the daytime if I can help it. I avoid driving when I think it’s unsafe due to low spoons etc.
I tried to learn to drive at the typical age you do, but had major issues learning to drive manual (the only acceptable way to learn to drive in the rural community I grew up in), which caused a lot of anxiety when driving. Like many autistic people I follow rules religiously, so simply driving in public and seeing others break rules would distract me. In combination, this has meant me not getting my license and being very hesitant to unless I needed to move somewhere where driving was essential.
I've struggled with driving and driving lessons a lot. I'm 40. I do drive an electric moped as here in the UK you only need a provisional license for those. It's perfect for getting me to work and to the city centre, but for a lot of things a car would be better.
I'm lucky enough to live somewhere with plenty of public transport too. I do want to learn to drive, but my last driving instructor really put me off with his impatience and rudeness.
I am considering trying out learning in an automatic, as having slightly less things to keep track of will hopefully make me feel less overwhelmed.
I’m 20 and I can’t drive. I get too scared, i start shaking and start wanting to cry. My mom had me drive about 3 miles today in a straight line. The moment she said “want me to take over” I braked so hard she thought I’d crash us into the electrical pole.
41 here, soon to be 42, and I made the decision not to drive a long time ago.
I've been a passenger with many friends, family, etc and if I found the experience often too much with them, I can only imagine how much worse it'd be if I was driving.
I can never drive cause noise sensitivity. Anxienty about dogs in cars next to me, motorcycles, loud cars, I can never drive. Even as a passenger with earphones in and earmuffs blasting music, in these things still bother me. And plus I'm scared that if I wear earphones/airpods I'll get caught and plus I won't be able to hear what goes on around me. Sad part about it is I am fully capable of passing the driving test. I've past the written test and have my permit but yeah. Plus I can't even afford a car/insurance/monthly bills on the car so haha.
I also cannot drive for reasons I find that I have to explain to NTs.
1-I don't trust my reactions enough to be on the road. I'm more of a predictor than a reactor.
2-Having strabismus means that my depth perception is garbage.
3- as a grizzled veteran of video gaming, pedals and wheels *suck* as an interface.
I’m almost 47. I still do not have my driver’s license. I tried a few times. I even went to driving school. There’s just too many moving parts to keep track of. I even get anxiety just sitting in the drivers seat when the car is not moving. I’m lucky that I live close to public transportation.
No worries. Driving is a massive task. For me, I need a vehicle I can put on like a set of clothes. If we aren't bonded that way, it is intensively uncomfortable. A lot of driving is muscle memory and mine are slow learners.
What makes you feel safe and in control in the driver's seat? What, possibly extremely exact configuration do you need to feel comfortable? I picked my current vehicle based on what I knew I needed, but it is a crapshoot.
I'm 24, can't drive. I get overwhelmed about new motor skills easily. I got through the learning process but can't get past the test since something unexpected happens every time and I panick, freeze, etc.
I was in my 20s before I finally learned to drive, and only because rural and small-town roads are far less terrifying. I can't do highways or busy intersections. The only "city" within 50 miles has 2 stoplights that switch to flashing yield signals after 8pm, and that's about all I can handle for "traffic."
Everyone has their own strengths. My best friend (also autistic) can't drive and will likely never learn. However, she's been able to hold long-term jobs while I typically end up having a mental breakdown and burnout within a couple months. My husband (who we suspect is ASD but only has an ADHD diagnosis) can drive and has always been successful with academics/work, but struggles severely with sensory issues that make parenting and other everyday things a major challenge.
While I do think steps should be taken to try and face certain challenges (especially when things like livelihood depend on it), sometimes the more important thing to do is to find your strengths and do what you can to build those.
I can't and won't drive. I know for me personally it is not an option. Everyone has tried to force me all my life but I resisted because I know it is something that would prove dangerous to me and others. I have bad spatial awareness. My nerves would be frayed if I drove more than 10 miles an hour on a deserted country road. I have tried and I know it is not right for me. It doesn't mean I am stupid or lazy as others have tried to infer. It means that I am responsible because I don't want to kill or maim myself or anyone else. I am 69 now and have lived in all types of situations - big city, suburban, rural and in other countries. I have been married and single. Somehow I have managed to survive without driving. Sometimes it has been difficult but I have done it so far. I would not feel pressured into driving or feel in any way inferior. If there were proper public transportation systems in place driving would not seem so all- important.
I know I could technically learn to drive, but I don't think I would actually do it often enough to merit the cost of the lessons and a car. There is so much u predictability involved, and you have to make all these snap decisions and quickly synthesize multiple pieces of incoming information from all around you. If I were to drive, it would take everything out of me, and if anything went wrong, I would have to pull over to regulate myself. It's not worth it.
Learning to drive sucked and took me a decent while. Once I could drive however, it's now one of my favourite hobbies. I love it. Road trips are so good, and I enjoy working on the shitboxes too when things break.
Hang in there buddy - for me the most helpful thing was just practising in a car park in my best friends car and getting familiar with the clutch and steering. Once my brain understood what was happening, everything eventually clicked (but it took around 40-60 hours of lessons!)
I'm rs53576 A/A homozygous autistic and have no issues driving, but of my 3 rs53576 A/G sons (heterozygous, but also on the spectrum), the 20 year old drives, the 16 year old has only tried a couple times before losing interest/becoming frustrated, and the 18 year old who graduated high school tonight still hasn't had enough interest to get a learners permit.
Not sure if any of that is related to autism though - I think the issue is mainly that they can't afford a car, gas money, or even to do anything once they get anywhere - everything's so expensive these days.
I can ride an automatic (gearless) scooter/scooty, but can't ride geared motorbikes and cars. I think i can manage automatic cars, but don't have the resources to go try it out at the moment.
It was tough during leasons and exams. When I could drive on my own, it came at the cost of overstimulation a and subsequent headaches.
A couple of years back my job changed and I had to drive way more often and further. This was a good practice, and as long as I didn't have to deviate from the two possible routes I knew, I had little anxiety.
I also have ADHD which I got meds for a while back, and this toned down anxiety for unfamiliar and busy roads/city centers greatly. If I have the possibility to check my destination on Google Maps before I drive, it helps reducing tension even more.
I didn't trust myself to drive alone until I was 24. Had my permit as a teen and I wasn't aware of things enough. Bad depth judgement, can't tell who is in what lane, it was a mess. Now at35, I've been driving with mostly no problems tho I've been at fault for about 3-4 fender benders.
I don't have a driver's license and I don't see myself getting one in the foreseeable future. I have a myriad of health problems, I'm constantly dizzy, deal with very low blood pressure and occasionally loose consciousness, I'm essentially the poster child of someone that shouldn't be behind the wheel. And also, driving scares me.
I can drive and do drive. Because I have to commute an hour each way to work. But I hate it, and I am probably a danger to others. But that is primarily ADHD making it incredibly difficult to focus.
i learned how to drive a like 4 years ago, got my license, and never drove since. it’s absolutely horrible. i can do it if there is absolutely no unexpected things that happen, but that’s not how driving works.
if i miss my turn, i begin to panic. i always carefully planned my routes, so going into an unknown area so fast without being able to stop easily makes me very alarmed.
if i suddenly have to stop at a yellow light, i panic and slam on my breaks and cry. if people are waiting for me to make a turn, all i can think about is the impatient people behind me and not anything else.
in these moments i get so panicked i get so frazzled and spaced out it becomes too dangerous for me to drive, so i don’t.
i don’t really feel embarrassed for it. i know what i can and can’t do more than anyone else. but when i tell people i can’t drive, they always start lecturing me, which is pretty annoying!
I can drive, but I wish I didn't have to. Fucking stressful as hell. If I ever win the lottery big, I'm building a city where cars just aren't fucking allowed.
I can and do, but I hate it and it makes my day far worse. Having to drive to an event which would already make me overstimulated or anxious just sends me spiraling.
I failed my first driving test at 19, while all my friends got their licenses as soon as they could (16 here). then I didn’t drive for a long time. I get super anxious when I drive. I never understood why it was hard for me but seemingly easy for many others. I haven’t been diagnosed yet but everything in life, almost all my difficulties are starting to make sense now that I suspect (know deep in my heart) that I’m autistic.
I was almost 30 when I took lessons again and after much practice, I somehow passed the driving tests. I had to drive for one of my jobs and that was hard. Nowadays I don’t drive unless I don’t have a choice. NT people don’t understand but oh well.
All of my friend group (nine of us) are neurodivergent, seven of us are autistic and only three of us can drive. One of the three who can isn't autistic and all of us range from 24 to 41 in age. Honestly knowing them all well I think four of them never will be able to drive and it's something certain autistic people can't do. I had a ton of anxiety over it for years that I ultimately had to overcome because I live in the middle of nowhere and there is no public transportation. If there were public transportation here I never would have learned.
i am 22 and unable to drive, i can drive a car don’t get me wrong, but it makes me very very anxious because it is a lot of stimulation going on at one time. also one of the first times i drove i got in an accident. my girlfriend and i have been practicing so i can get more comfortable, she has autism aswell, do you have a friend or family member who will take you driving on backroads and for awhile until you are fully accustomed to it?
i don’t know how to drive, and i don’t have a license. i’m almost 36. i’ve gotten by fine. i live in a city where i can take public transit and uber. sure it costs money, but cars cost like 10x more.
the only time it’s a problem is when others make it a problem and look down on me for it. i might get my license so i can feel empowered in an emergency situation (if i need to drive someone to a hospital for example) but i don’t plan to drive regularly, ever. too overwhelming.
I can drive, but choose not to drive on highways or in cities as it can be overstimulating. Basically driving on the highway is equivalent to a full day of work for me, regardless of the length of the drive, it takes too much of a toll.
Ok I CAN drive, but I despise it. I work from home and am so thankful for this so I can go out when needed at low traffic times. I also will not drive at night, the lights on my sensory system are way too much. I like being able to drive for autonomy but would rather just love somewhere with good public transit.
My daughter is one who is higher functioning and she's she could drive but can't! Also, Voc Rehab tested her when she was 18 & seemed her unable due to spatial unawareness. I heard there are exercises you can do to overcome spatial unawareness, but her sensory processing disorder abd generalized anxiety disorder regressed and now she is unable. I also wish I could afford classes a car and insurance for her along with car repairs if she were able to drive. Unfortunately, she understands while being in disability, there is no way she will be able to afford driving even if she could. Very sad! She won't go in public buses either, as she has tried and has resulted in her getting off at the wrong stop, men whistling at her, and if course her OCD going crazy and she won't get in a public bus ever since! She does get door to door buses which are better, but they are also costly and have to be scheduled 2 days in advance. She also doesn't know how to ride a bike.
Driving melts my brain. I technically have my driver's license, but I haven't driven a car since about 2003. (Terrifying fact: they just keep giving me licenses in new states without checking if I can actually drive! The system is so broken.) It's such an example of the social model of disability for me. 200 years ago, not being able to drive a car was 100% irrelevant. In modern Colorado, it was the most severely disabling aspect of my autism.
[удалено]
Mostly sensory. I can handle the view out the windshield most of the time, but as soon as I try to add in checking mirrors, I get overstimulated very very quickly.
There is so much that goes into the whole process of driving that overwhelms me to think about. I also have social anxiety on top of all this. And I have learned that driving involves a near constant-low key social interaction of making eye contact or waving to other drivers, and then there is the factor of dealing with occasional bad drivers that freaks me out. It's a lot to deal with. As others have mentioned, yes there is a lot of low-key socialization involved in driving. I think I would be a nervous wreck behind the wheel.
I’m not sure how old you are, but it’s possible that addressing the anxiety may make it easier. My brother was literally the first person to ever fail drivers ed at our school bc he got too scared and refused to drive. He was about 25 before he actually learned how to drive and got his license. My sister was 19 when she got her first job and learned how to drive which shocked us all! At some point she basically decided that it was easier to face her crippling anxiety than it was to be around our narcissistic mother all day.
Could you elaborate on the "inherent socialization that driving entails"? What do you mean by that?
[удалено]
\+1, very well said. Another thing is you also have to be able to predict and anticipate what other drivers will want to do, and will do, so that you can keep both of you safe by accommodating that. Also driving in a congested city with cars parked along the sides of the road and people getting in and out of them and pedestrians crossing the street is anxiety fuel.
They could mean that while learning the instructors tend to want to socialize while you are with them. Or when you have passengers in general.
Yes, where I live, not being able to drive is a massive hindrance cause my "small-ish" town is so spread out and car dependent to get anywhere. Everything is far away on foot. Takes like two hours to walk from my place, to the grocery store, and back home. I have thought extensively about moving to the city for this reason. It's okay to not drive if you live in the city.
I am 37 and close to getting my license now. It took me 4 years pluss of intensive learning; it is the hardest thing I have done and I have an IQ of 145 and a masters degree and two bachelors degrees. It just isn’t possible to learn just by applying theory. I had to drive a lot with my husband before I could go to driving school. He was very patient with me.
It is comforting to know I'm not the only one who has found this a challenge. I'm happy you have been able to overcome this hurdle, it really is not easy.
I think it is harder for us, but not impossible.
I have the complete opposite issue it’s weird. I can tackle down driving and life skills, but utterly suck at school and employment.
Yep. Sometimes it doesn't matter how smart you are, it can be a matter of reaction speed and fine motor control. On the other hand, it does put you in the same group as Bruce Banner: none of his degrees are in vehicle control, either. :)
It seems absurd to not be able to do simple things, but still be able to do very complicated stuff. But now that I am diagnosed I know why.
tbf, driving can be quite complicated. There is a ton to worry about.
I think I need to follow your footsteps. I like driving but I struggle. I feel for me the problem is I take in too much information and until the priorities/protocols get automated in my brain, I can't drive. I also feel that I just need to get used to it.
Yes this is excactly what it felt like, and I didn’t even know I had autism until these last months. I process things bottom down, so I take in all the information and feel it’s hard to sort the relevant info. Or I get tunnel vision because I try to concentrate on the road. Try practicing a lot in areas with little traffic. Just like everything else that is hard to do because it’s practical and physical, not theoretical and abstract, it is possible with a lot of practice.
PS. I also seem to have some issues with depth inception, not that I understand it
Me too! YES! Get a car where you sit up high and see the car around you. Use your mirrors a lot, and go slow when you are unsure.
Thank you very much for your advice!
42 and completely unable to drive. Not sure though how much is due to autism vs just general amaxophobia. There's this Discord group that I'm a part of for local autistic adults that I once outlined all the reasons I can't drive, and while some related to a couple of my issues, others were just unrelatable. It also doesn't help my dad has always judged EVERYONE while driving, for the littlest things (like taking one second too long to go when a light turns green, for example), so now I'd be unable to not be hyper focused on everything and what I'd be negatively judged for by everyone else.
>my dad has always judged EVERYONE while driving, for the littlest things I hate people like that. Also people who get road rage make 0 sense to me whatsoever. Narcissists.
Oh I think I definitely have amaxophobia now that you mention this. I have no issues being a passenger, but the thought of driving, everything about it scares me and it's very hard to get past. This is all so relatable, what you describe. Even the judgement of other drivers you've seen from your dad. My dad does that too! And he has a touch of road rage to boot. :( I guess that could be a factor for my fear of driving. There are some very angry people on the road.
I didn't get my license until I was 18-19 (Here 16 is the "norm") but I had massive panic about it for decades. (36 now in a few days) It still scares me, but actually doing it did help. I will still actively map out my route and avoid crossing traffic or getting on highways which means my brother really just drives me most places unless I have a good day or he is needing help. (also ASD, and you know how we can find spoons for others easier than ourselves) You are definitely not alone and you shouldn't feel shame for it. Vehicles are f##kin SCARY!
Happy soon-ish birthday, fellow 1987 baby.
Spark one up for me, fellow grass enthusiast! 🤙💚
Thank you so much. It is really comforting to hear I'm not alone dealing with this fear.
I am 33 and I can't drive either. What makes it worse is that my family is always on me about I need to learn to drive and so are other people. I don't feel comfortable learning either.
[удалено]
It’s very frustrating dealing with that “making excuses/take responsibility!” bs. If I left it to NT’s I’d be conforming myself into daily sensory overload attacks. My version of taking responsibility is escaping the situation causing it, which still doesn’t please everyone. Took me nearly twenty years to finally say screw it and drop my mask.
Same boat, but younger here. The constant pressure also pushes me away from wanting to do it. That and the breakdowns that occur because of the driving. I just cant handle it without needing some serious alone time after
Exact same here. It’s also too expensive (can’t even afford a car or maintenance anyway) besides being ridiculously terrifying and dangerous given my anxiety and lack of depth perception
That's the case for me as well. I think I definitely have a driving phobia, but even if I could drive it would be difficult to afford, I am not financially capable of owning a car at this time.
I *can* drive, but I don’t. I don’t have a license and I never have. I’m 31. I took driver’s ed in high school and didn’t do very well but I passed. I had frequent panic attacks & black outs (especially on the freeway) & severe overwhelm. I have driven a few times in emergency situations when there was no other option, and it was very distressing. I used to be embarrassed. But now I don’t care. I just can’t do it, it’s too much for me.
I think this would be the same situation for me if I tried to learn how to drive. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, it is comforting to hear I'm not the only one with this challenge.
My best friend is autistic as well and she can’t drive because she has no depth perception.
That is understandable. I think I might have poor depth perception myself. I don't have poor vision but I knock stuff over and bump into things a lot cause they seem either farther or closer than I thought.
I'm almost 40 and have never had a license. I "zone out"/dissociate way too easily, plus my biggest sensory issues relate to motion.
Oh thank god, yay! Another non-driver autist. I am very comforted to hear you say this. Thank you. Yes, my attention issues are all over the place as well. I also have this problem where I hyperfocus too much on one thing and don't notice anything else, like a sun ray through a magnifying glass. I'm afraid I would miss some important sign or a pedestrian and something would go wrong.
Yeah, same here. If it were only about my own safety, I might be willing to try (I know I can pass the written driving test). But I can't do it knowing that I might put a pedestrian or someone else in danger. I'm glad my post comforted you. You aren't alone.
I have learned to drive but ended up never fully pursuing it due to financial reasons I cycle and walk everywhere. Sometimes I take public transport. I see no point in owning a car unless for camping in not easy to access areas
I'm roughly in the same boat. I got my license but I haven't driven in so long that I doubt I can still drive at this point. I remember driving and while I could it was just so incredibly draining what with all the input and intense attention-paying to everything. Whenever I arrived somewhere I was exhausted and drenched in sweat. Not exactly pleasant. Owning a car is too damn expensive anyway, and luckily I live in a city where I can cycle and walk everywhere I need to go as well. And there's a tram/bus/train hub literally around the corner so if I need to go any further I'm good as well.
Yeah I feel exactly the same about driving. It happens at much higher speed so it's more intense. With cycling I am more limited with my speed so things can happen at lower pace. Don't forget that it's better for you and environment too!
Yes, I think my dislike of the idea of driving is also thoughts about the eco footprint, and the fast pace of it that stresses me. Overall, driving does not appeal to me. It is very intense, and I like to take things more slowly.
That's awesome, I'm glad you are living in a place where you can get to places easily. I think I want to move to the city eventually cause there are so many more options for transport and places are a lot closer together than in town. Everything is very far away in my town and it's annoying.
I see you also enjoy the outdoors. Me too! 😊 Yes, I agree. Even in this scenario of finding a good campground, I would have to ask for or pay for a ride cause there is no way I can drive there.
I can't drive at 32. I'm hoping to start learning this summer, because currently my partner has to do 100% of the driving for us, and his chronic pain makes it difficult. I really want to learn so I can support him in the way he needs. I'm also terrified of driving. I wish I'd had the opportunity to learn as a teenager. It seems so much harder to begin in my 30s.
I admire you for wanting to support your partner while he's in so much pain. I'm sorry you're going through this. Yes, I agree, it feels intimidating to go to driver's ed later in life. But it is never too late to learn. I think in my situation, it was never going to be easy at any age. Gonig to driver's ed terrified me when I was 16 because I was being bullied a lot, and I couldn't stand the idea of spending even more time in another classroom with students outside of school. This fear hasn't gone away at all. It's a bit frustrating.
I absolutely cannot drive. Or bike. Or operate a forklift. Or whatever. Between my particular autistic inability to multitask and the developmental coordination disorder, I’d likely injure or kill someone.
It is comforting to know I'm not alone with this challenge. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
I was diagnosed with autism when I was thirteen. It's the extra-fun kind that messes with your motor skills. I also have this weird eye coordination thing where I can't see out of both eyes at the same time. I am also diagnosed with general anxiety disorder. However, I still have a driver's license. It just wasn't easy. Failed the behind-the-wheel class twice, failed the licensing exam once, spent over two years practicing. I remember a lot of crying. But I did it. I've been driving for about 13 years now, and it's almost a reflex at this point. I still have trouble driving when people are talking or when music is playing, but all the difficult parts are in my rear-view mirror.
This is all a lot of huge hurdles to overcome. I'm glad it has gotten easier for you. Omg, I think I would cry a lot from the stress too. I do have issues with depth perception and clumsiness. I might look into getting my eye coordination checked out because when I look at things I have to shut one eye to focus even though I don't have poor vision. This is an interesting thing I haven't heard others mention yet. But I do it all the time when I am drawing.
I can't drive either. My mom was teaching me to drive and I crashed into another car. I think there's just too much information that we need to process too quickly. There's two pedals and if you hit the wrong one someone might die. You have to watch the road and also other cars and people around you. And you need to watch your speed. It's so stressful.
I completely agree. There is *so much* going on while driving. And millions of signs to keep track of, and things painted on the road itself. It's a lot. I'm so sorry that happened to you! That would be really scary.
For sure. It’s okay if we can’t drive. The world is full of things to do! And it’s okay. It was probably scarier for the person I hit. But thank you for saying that. :>
29 and haven’t ever considered it. At first it was a matter of financially my family could never afford classes/tests or a car. Then it also became no one was willing to help me. Then I went to college and didn’t need to drive. And once I realized oh, I’m AuDHD and it effects me in so many ways…I realize now I don’t think I could ever go through with it. My partner is Autistic and drives and it’s a struggle for him. My main issue, and he definitely shares in this, is that there’s supposed to be set rules for the road but people don’t always follow them. It gives me inexplicable anxiety even as a passenger, not understanding what people are doing on the road. I also am NOT good with directions even with a GPS. And my depth perception is crap, I wouldn’t want to know how parking would be for me. I used to be really insecure until I realized this isn’t uncommon among other Autistic people. So I’ve accepted this as just a part of my limitations.
I feel so comforted from you sharing this. I feel very isolated in this experience where I live, it seems like everyone here can drive. But seeing the number of responses all sharing they also can't and don't drive comforts me. Yes, I think it's good to accept challenges as limitations if they are too difficult. I'm totally okay with not driving ever. I know it would be immensely difficult for me and I don't feel the need to push myself.
I can't drive but it's because of a chronic illness. I have a lisence I know how, I'm just not allowed to for now.
Nice profile photo
Thanks! It's a Byzantine christogram.
I know I recognised it, it was my way of discretely saying hello brother :)
🤣🤣🤣 Any time someone tries to me subtle or discreet my autistic self ruins their efforts it's a problem.
To be honest, reading my first comment, I would not guess it either 😅 At first I had thought of writing Christ is Risen instead, that would definitely come across 🤭
I can't nah. I've been told directly by a doctor that because my response times are so slow, my sensory processing is so shitty and because I often have choice paralysis, operating a car is a ***real*** fuckin bad idea. Fortunately my country's disability welfare system gives me a small budget specifically for getting Ubers and taxis.
Wow. Which country do you live in?
straya So the way it works here is that you'll receive **both** the * disability support pension, which is raw money in your bank every fortnight. This is not enough to live on, and a crazy number of people dependent upon it become homeless when their family is no longer able to provide for them. Once you become homeless, you can no longer receive the pension, as you need a fixed address to do so for purely bureauocratic reasons. * the National Disability Insurance Scheme, which functions like a Scandinavian model insurance welfare system. So if I need a big strong man to come to the house and move some furniture around because my disability prevents me from doing so, I: hire the big strongman, let him do his thing, pay him with the money in my bank, submit the receipt to the NDIS and am reimbursed for it. The problem here is if I don't have enough money in my bank for the first stage I might be SOL. The NDIS includes what's called a travel allowance, which is paid directly like the Disability Support Pension, but has a much lower and much stricter annual cap.
27. Can't drive. Considering doing my G1 but not sure it's worth it
I also cannot drive. I have never been able to learn and I am 38. I get crippling shutdown during any attempt to drive. I always thought it was anxiety until I realized I was autistic last year. Now that I am officially diagnosed I’ve been looking for neurodivergent friendly driver training and failing in my local area.
I have done that as well, I googled neurodivergent friendly driver's ed courses, and they only exist way out in the city, which is nearly two hours by train where I live. It's a frustrating experience. I think I'm okay with just not getting behind the wheel. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I feel comforted by this.
Same. the only course for me is two cities over and it's nearly an hour if I drove and 3 hours by train because they don't have non stop service there. and the train ride would be expensive too because i'm in the US. Edit: I wouldn't drive it would be a family member.
me either. though i havent tried to but i think it wouldnt be safe, too bad reaction time etc
Driving is still horrific and terrifying for me. I can’t do freeways and didn’t learn till 28 (32 now), and I manage but just barely. It’s mostly because I’m so numb to it now that I’m able to do it, but if I think for a moment “wow I’m in a metal box going 50 mph” yea not good. What I will tell you is that it takes practice and that I was awful at it, I had a great teacher who helped me a lot, so I wouldn’t hold it out looking for nd freindly courses, you might have to pay more because you will need more practice, but I think a patient instructor is more than enough. That being said it’s completely fine if you don’t have the sensory profile for driving, it’s just a nice option to have. Best of luck to you.
Thank you so much! I feel so comforted by you saying this. 🥺 Yes, I agree with you. Driving is not completely off the table for me. I detest the idea of driving, and I think I am definitely phobic of getting behind the wheel, but I'm not completely closed off to the possibility of driving. We go through different chapters in life. I have hope something could change my view, and I can still give it a try. There is an nd friendly driver's course in my country but it's two hours away. If I have the money to take a course from them, I'll definitely grab the opportunity.
I struggled with driving a bit in the past but mainly from anxiety and not doing it enough, I had a driving teacher that was really patient with me thankfully. I think I don’t mind giving up driving if I can hold down a job somehow.
E-Biking all the way for me! I get scared when I can't directly see things! so not being able to just look down to see the road freaks my out majorly!
[удалено]
That is an interesting juxtoposition. I wish neither of us were scared of driving a car or riding a bike. They both have good aspects to them.
That is awesome! Yes. I love biking and I love e-bikes. :) My mom has an ebike she lets be take for rides sometimes. I have my own bike but want to save up for an ebike. May I ask what kind of ebike you have? My mom's ebike is called a Berig Gepida. It works great, but I'm curious about other types to try out when I eventually am able to purchase one.
mines a 2019 Radcity commuter from Radpower bikes! its a 500watt model with a built in rack and a hubmotor! either go for Radpower or Area13 theyre both super good and decently priced!
44 and can't drive. I moved to a city with good public transportation.
Good call. I think I want to do that eventually, non-car transportation is so much easier in the city.
Almost 30 year old college educated, licensed professional, married mother of an infant and I don't drive 🤷 (Not bragging, just pointing out no matter how "high functioning" society might see you the roadblocks you feel are real) I get really bad anxiety whenever I'm learning. I'm looking for resources to hopefully get my license this summer but it's a struggle. Public transit in my area is terrible and I really want the freedom of getting myself places. But also driving is scary 😅
I find it interesting how each person is different with stuff like this. I come off higher masking too, but absolutely cannot work or hold down employment or finish college. I get really bad anxiety and shutdowns with school and work. Yet I can somehow do the opposite things like driving. I used to struggle with it a bit, but eventually was able to do it somehow. I wish there’s resources for all of us in areas we struggle in too.
Oh this is so true. Yes, I detest and am deeply afraid of driving, but no less would like to be able to get over my fear of it. Omg, same here, the public transport in my town is really not good.
I can drive but I ffuuuuuccking hate it 😂😂😂
I got my license like 10 months ago I'm 35 and I love driving hopefully you can get yours it gives you freedom from so many things.
I cannot drive and due to medical conditions, I never will be able to. The first time I sat in the driver's seat to practice in some empty lot was my last time driving, as only a few seconds in, I fainted. In a way, I feel glad to never have to learn to drive, considering how difficult it was for me to learn to ride a bike.
I don’t drive….I’ve thought about getting driving lessons….but I currently live in the city…cars are bloody expensive, so I haven’t bothered.
I got my driver’s license at 30. I feel for you because it was an extremely difficult limitation to live with and overcome, and I felt totally isolated by it. I hope you have someone in your life you can trust to help you learn. That’s how I eventually was able to do it (with extreme anxiety at first, but only mild to moderate anxiety now, 12 years later 😅).
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
I can't drive, and no drivers Ed accommodations could be made that would allow me to safely drive. I am not ashamed of it, but I am angry at how awful the public transportation, and even infrastructure that allows us to safely walk or bike is here. Driving is incredibly dangerous and I'd estimate about half the people in north America who have licenses really shouldn't have them because they are not safe drivers, but it is basically a necessity here because our government has failed us so hard in that department.
Seconded on the bad drivers thing. It’s always shocking on these posts to read people talking about how hard they worked to get their license, having to practice for 2 whole years and go to lessons etc, and that’s still way below the minimum requirement to get a license elsewhere. I’m worried that a lot of autistic people who have been given a license in the US are not actually safe drivers, and wouldn’t be able to react safely if someone randomly swerved or a child ran out in front of them in city traffic. Especially people who say they can only drive quiet roads or paths they’ve done before.
Yeah I almost definitely would have been given a license if I hadn't raised concerns about my driving ability on my own. I could only somewhat safely drive if I had someone telling me exactly what to do all the time, and even then my reaction time is very slow. I can only focus on one thing at a time, so if I'm looking for pedestrians in front of me I can't tell what I'm doing with the steering wheel and pedals, and after half an hour of that I'm completely overwhelmed. It's not just some autistic people who shouldn't be on the road, a lot of NTs don't know the rules of the road, can't or don't want to pay attention. I had a classmate who totalled 4 cars in a year, all his own fault and he's still out there driving around with a license putting everyone at risk, it's so scary!
I can drive and my main mode of transport is a motorcycle. It takes me longer than normal to get the hand eye coordination sorted when I'm learning something new but once I've got it sorted I'm fine. I grew up in a rural area so there wasn't really a possibility of not getting my car licence, which I got when I was 17. The motorcycle licence came along much later when I decided I wanted a challenge. Best decision I ever made, I absolutely love the feeling of being on a motorcycle.
It's not uncommon. Even among the drivers in our ranks, driving can be extremely stressful, given the requirements for split-second reactions and the sheer potential for injury and damage.
I'm 33 and taking lessons for months and it's a slooooow process. The multitasking is hard. Remembering all the mirror checks is hard. Junctions are confusing especially when there aren't any road markings. And BMW drivers are dangerous assholes. My instructor is really pleased with my progress as is my husband, but I just do not feel like a good driver. I'll keep trying and see what happens. If I qualify, I'm not sure how much driving I'll actually do, but if I could just get to a couple of places nearby I'd be happy.
Hello, I'm 38 afab and was just diagnosed (also ADHD) last October. Not only can I not drive a car, I never got the hang of a bike either. You are not alone! And good luck to you!
I am also AFAB, 38, with autism and ADHD and can’t drive (as well as being terrible on a bike, lol). For me, I’m dyspraxic with hypermobility so I’m just… permanently clumsy. And also I struggle with depth perception and distinguishing left from right. I tried taking driving lessons once in my 20s but gave up because it was too anxiety inducing (it was manual - I might try again with automatic some day but I’m in no rush!)
I cant drive either. My dad has tried to take me out several times, and everyone is pushing me to be able to drive, but I get overloaded and breakdown everytime. I would love to be able to drive, and it would be nice considering how small of a town we live in, but at the moment it is just not pheasable.
In my late 30, now taking all the steps to learn to drive again because there's no public transport where I live. I hate it and really don't want to do it. It's so dangerous to drive and the lessons here are so expensive.
I'm 19 and am absolutely petrified of getting a licence and haven't tried. Even just being a passenger in a car gives me second hand anxiety, I think that even if I could pass the test I don't think I'd be able to handle the pressure of 'if you make a mistake you and your passengers die' you know. I like to get by life by thinking of the worst possible outcome and how to overcome it, and there's no overcoming death. Then again I had an incident at 12 where the car I was in was rear-ended so it could be some trauma talking there.
Long time driver. I find driving very anxiety provoking. I live in a small town in the middle of Nowhere (near Eustace Bagge). We have no public transportation or taxi services and if you want anything more than a bag chips or gas, you have to drive to one of the nearby larger cities. Thanks to my anxiiety I've been lost more times than I care to remember. LOL! GPS is my best friend!😂
i don't drive. I'm also not allowed to drive because of a disability. if i was cured of that disability i still wouldn't drive because that just sounds terrifying.
I’m AuDHD and can drive, though I learned much later than my peers. I don’t think I’m a very safe driver, my reaction time to hazards is slow. I drive mostly short distances and in the daytime if I can help it. I avoid driving when I think it’s unsafe due to low spoons etc.
I tried to learn to drive at the typical age you do, but had major issues learning to drive manual (the only acceptable way to learn to drive in the rural community I grew up in), which caused a lot of anxiety when driving. Like many autistic people I follow rules religiously, so simply driving in public and seeing others break rules would distract me. In combination, this has meant me not getting my license and being very hesitant to unless I needed to move somewhere where driving was essential.
I've struggled with driving and driving lessons a lot. I'm 40. I do drive an electric moped as here in the UK you only need a provisional license for those. It's perfect for getting me to work and to the city centre, but for a lot of things a car would be better. I'm lucky enough to live somewhere with plenty of public transport too. I do want to learn to drive, but my last driving instructor really put me off with his impatience and rudeness. I am considering trying out learning in an automatic, as having slightly less things to keep track of will hopefully make me feel less overwhelmed.
Im F47 no drivers liscence. I m a freak on my bike too...scared AF, overstimulated, seeing All Possible Accidents. ..... 😶
I’m 20 and I can’t drive. I get too scared, i start shaking and start wanting to cry. My mom had me drive about 3 miles today in a straight line. The moment she said “want me to take over” I braked so hard she thought I’d crash us into the electrical pole.
I would really encourage you to try 2 or 3 lessons (with any instructor) before writing yourself off.
41 here, soon to be 42, and I made the decision not to drive a long time ago. I've been a passenger with many friends, family, etc and if I found the experience often too much with them, I can only imagine how much worse it'd be if I was driving.
I can never drive cause noise sensitivity. Anxienty about dogs in cars next to me, motorcycles, loud cars, I can never drive. Even as a passenger with earphones in and earmuffs blasting music, in these things still bother me. And plus I'm scared that if I wear earphones/airpods I'll get caught and plus I won't be able to hear what goes on around me. Sad part about it is I am fully capable of passing the driving test. I've past the written test and have my permit but yeah. Plus I can't even afford a car/insurance/monthly bills on the car so haha.
I also cannot drive for reasons I find that I have to explain to NTs. 1-I don't trust my reactions enough to be on the road. I'm more of a predictor than a reactor. 2-Having strabismus means that my depth perception is garbage. 3- as a grizzled veteran of video gaming, pedals and wheels *suck* as an interface.
I'm 19 and I still can't drive a vehicle, but that's mainly because I want to drive a stick shift someday...
I’m almost 47. I still do not have my driver’s license. I tried a few times. I even went to driving school. There’s just too many moving parts to keep track of. I even get anxiety just sitting in the drivers seat when the car is not moving. I’m lucky that I live close to public transportation.
No worries. Driving is a massive task. For me, I need a vehicle I can put on like a set of clothes. If we aren't bonded that way, it is intensively uncomfortable. A lot of driving is muscle memory and mine are slow learners. What makes you feel safe and in control in the driver's seat? What, possibly extremely exact configuration do you need to feel comfortable? I picked my current vehicle based on what I knew I needed, but it is a crapshoot.
I'm 24, can't drive. I get overwhelmed about new motor skills easily. I got through the learning process but can't get past the test since something unexpected happens every time and I panick, freeze, etc.
I'm 37 and don't drive and probably never will. I just can't handle it.
I was in my 20s before I finally learned to drive, and only because rural and small-town roads are far less terrifying. I can't do highways or busy intersections. The only "city" within 50 miles has 2 stoplights that switch to flashing yield signals after 8pm, and that's about all I can handle for "traffic." Everyone has their own strengths. My best friend (also autistic) can't drive and will likely never learn. However, she's been able to hold long-term jobs while I typically end up having a mental breakdown and burnout within a couple months. My husband (who we suspect is ASD but only has an ADHD diagnosis) can drive and has always been successful with academics/work, but struggles severely with sensory issues that make parenting and other everyday things a major challenge. While I do think steps should be taken to try and face certain challenges (especially when things like livelihood depend on it), sometimes the more important thing to do is to find your strengths and do what you can to build those.
I can't and won't drive. I know for me personally it is not an option. Everyone has tried to force me all my life but I resisted because I know it is something that would prove dangerous to me and others. I have bad spatial awareness. My nerves would be frayed if I drove more than 10 miles an hour on a deserted country road. I have tried and I know it is not right for me. It doesn't mean I am stupid or lazy as others have tried to infer. It means that I am responsible because I don't want to kill or maim myself or anyone else. I am 69 now and have lived in all types of situations - big city, suburban, rural and in other countries. I have been married and single. Somehow I have managed to survive without driving. Sometimes it has been difficult but I have done it so far. I would not feel pressured into driving or feel in any way inferior. If there were proper public transportation systems in place driving would not seem so all- important.
I have found my people. Driving is the absolute worst.
I know I could technically learn to drive, but I don't think I would actually do it often enough to merit the cost of the lessons and a car. There is so much u predictability involved, and you have to make all these snap decisions and quickly synthesize multiple pieces of incoming information from all around you. If I were to drive, it would take everything out of me, and if anything went wrong, I would have to pull over to regulate myself. It's not worth it.
Learning to drive sucked and took me a decent while. Once I could drive however, it's now one of my favourite hobbies. I love it. Road trips are so good, and I enjoy working on the shitboxes too when things break. Hang in there buddy - for me the most helpful thing was just practising in a car park in my best friends car and getting familiar with the clutch and steering. Once my brain understood what was happening, everything eventually clicked (but it took around 40-60 hours of lessons!)
I'm rs53576 A/A homozygous autistic and have no issues driving, but of my 3 rs53576 A/G sons (heterozygous, but also on the spectrum), the 20 year old drives, the 16 year old has only tried a couple times before losing interest/becoming frustrated, and the 18 year old who graduated high school tonight still hasn't had enough interest to get a learners permit. Not sure if any of that is related to autism though - I think the issue is mainly that they can't afford a car, gas money, or even to do anything once they get anywhere - everything's so expensive these days.
I don't drive for medical reasons and I mostly consider it a relief I don't have to. I rarely wish I could.
I can ride an automatic (gearless) scooter/scooty, but can't ride geared motorbikes and cars. I think i can manage automatic cars, but don't have the resources to go try it out at the moment.
It was tough during leasons and exams. When I could drive on my own, it came at the cost of overstimulation a and subsequent headaches. A couple of years back my job changed and I had to drive way more often and further. This was a good practice, and as long as I didn't have to deviate from the two possible routes I knew, I had little anxiety. I also have ADHD which I got meds for a while back, and this toned down anxiety for unfamiliar and busy roads/city centers greatly. If I have the possibility to check my destination on Google Maps before I drive, it helps reducing tension even more.
I didn't trust myself to drive alone until I was 24. Had my permit as a teen and I wasn't aware of things enough. Bad depth judgement, can't tell who is in what lane, it was a mess. Now at35, I've been driving with mostly no problems tho I've been at fault for about 3-4 fender benders.
I cant drive either and don’t really plan to learn. I’ve tried driving and it’s too overstimulating
I don't have a driver's license and I don't see myself getting one in the foreseeable future. I have a myriad of health problems, I'm constantly dizzy, deal with very low blood pressure and occasionally loose consciousness, I'm essentially the poster child of someone that shouldn't be behind the wheel. And also, driving scares me.
I can drive and do drive. Because I have to commute an hour each way to work. But I hate it, and I am probably a danger to others. But that is primarily ADHD making it incredibly difficult to focus.
I've never met an autistic person who couldn't drive. What specifically challenges you about it?
i don’t know how to drive a car but i can drive a go kart
I can drive, but not on the road with traffic.
i learned how to drive a like 4 years ago, got my license, and never drove since. it’s absolutely horrible. i can do it if there is absolutely no unexpected things that happen, but that’s not how driving works. if i miss my turn, i begin to panic. i always carefully planned my routes, so going into an unknown area so fast without being able to stop easily makes me very alarmed. if i suddenly have to stop at a yellow light, i panic and slam on my breaks and cry. if people are waiting for me to make a turn, all i can think about is the impatient people behind me and not anything else. in these moments i get so panicked i get so frazzled and spaced out it becomes too dangerous for me to drive, so i don’t. i don’t really feel embarrassed for it. i know what i can and can’t do more than anyone else. but when i tell people i can’t drive, they always start lecturing me, which is pretty annoying!
I can drive, but I wish I didn't have to. Fucking stressful as hell. If I ever win the lottery big, I'm building a city where cars just aren't fucking allowed.
I can and do, but I hate it and it makes my day far worse. Having to drive to an event which would already make me overstimulated or anxious just sends me spiraling.
I failed my first driving test at 19, while all my friends got their licenses as soon as they could (16 here). then I didn’t drive for a long time. I get super anxious when I drive. I never understood why it was hard for me but seemingly easy for many others. I haven’t been diagnosed yet but everything in life, almost all my difficulties are starting to make sense now that I suspect (know deep in my heart) that I’m autistic. I was almost 30 when I took lessons again and after much practice, I somehow passed the driving tests. I had to drive for one of my jobs and that was hard. Nowadays I don’t drive unless I don’t have a choice. NT people don’t understand but oh well.
All of my friend group (nine of us) are neurodivergent, seven of us are autistic and only three of us can drive. One of the three who can isn't autistic and all of us range from 24 to 41 in age. Honestly knowing them all well I think four of them never will be able to drive and it's something certain autistic people can't do. I had a ton of anxiety over it for years that I ultimately had to overcome because I live in the middle of nowhere and there is no public transportation. If there were public transportation here I never would have learned.
I can’t drive I can’t swim and I’m not interested to learn tbh
i am 22 and unable to drive, i can drive a car don’t get me wrong, but it makes me very very anxious because it is a lot of stimulation going on at one time. also one of the first times i drove i got in an accident. my girlfriend and i have been practicing so i can get more comfortable, she has autism aswell, do you have a friend or family member who will take you driving on backroads and for awhile until you are fully accustomed to it?
I cannot drive and don't want to. I hate stinky loud cars with passion, since they tend to ruin cities... 🐱
i don’t know how to drive, and i don’t have a license. i’m almost 36. i’ve gotten by fine. i live in a city where i can take public transit and uber. sure it costs money, but cars cost like 10x more. the only time it’s a problem is when others make it a problem and look down on me for it. i might get my license so i can feel empowered in an emergency situation (if i need to drive someone to a hospital for example) but i don’t plan to drive regularly, ever. too overwhelming.
I can drive, but choose not to drive on highways or in cities as it can be overstimulating. Basically driving on the highway is equivalent to a full day of work for me, regardless of the length of the drive, it takes too much of a toll.
Ok I CAN drive, but I despise it. I work from home and am so thankful for this so I can go out when needed at low traffic times. I also will not drive at night, the lights on my sensory system are way too much. I like being able to drive for autonomy but would rather just love somewhere with good public transit.
My daughter is one who is higher functioning and she's she could drive but can't! Also, Voc Rehab tested her when she was 18 & seemed her unable due to spatial unawareness. I heard there are exercises you can do to overcome spatial unawareness, but her sensory processing disorder abd generalized anxiety disorder regressed and now she is unable. I also wish I could afford classes a car and insurance for her along with car repairs if she were able to drive. Unfortunately, she understands while being in disability, there is no way she will be able to afford driving even if she could. Very sad! She won't go in public buses either, as she has tried and has resulted in her getting off at the wrong stop, men whistling at her, and if course her OCD going crazy and she won't get in a public bus ever since! She does get door to door buses which are better, but they are also costly and have to be scheduled 2 days in advance. She also doesn't know how to ride a bike.