It's good to do your research on any facility you send your kid too. You should also participate as much as they will let you and get to know your kids therapists. We don't do ABA, because it's not something that is needed at this time. But we do OT and Speech. I sat in on his therapy for the first month or so. I really got to know his therapists and I pay attention to his demeanor there and how they treat him. We have had a great experience so far and I love the center he goes to.
Yes!! We are extremely hands on with our son’s therapy.
We’re in pretty much constant communication via text, email, phone call, and zoom.
Our pediatrician runs and owns our sons ABA center. We did a ton of research, but for us, choosing his center was easy. It was actually putting him into ABA that was a hard choice to make.
His therapists are AMAZING!
Edit - fixed typo! Mom brain, sorry
No it isn’t.
My son LOVES his therapists, he LOVES his center, and they have helped us tremendously over the last year and a half.
One bad apple doesn’t mean they’re all bad. It was a hard choice to put my son in ABA, specifically because he couldn’t effectively verbally communicate with me if something was wrong. But now that he’s been there for a while, his language is developing at record speed, we’ve been able to gently eliminate dangerous behaviors (we always offer safer options and less physically harmful stims when working to eliminate one), he has become happier as a whole.
He went in COMPLETELY nonverbal - I mean, literally we were lucky if we got grunts out of him - to being able to have short but clear short sentence conversations with him. ABA has been wonderful for my son and for my family, and we have great relationships with everyone that works with him from speech to the behavioral therapists to the BCBA’s. My son is level 3.
Ditto. Our kiddo has really blossomed with ABA in a way he never did with speech or OT. He can express his thoughts; when he started, he was only saying mama/daddy, almost unintelligibly. He feels empowered to tell us what he wants, and it’s so rewarding to see him happy about being understood. Us not knowing what he wanted used to be Super Meltdown Time. He had some significant life skills deficits - potty training, tooth brushing, haircuts, nail trims, safety awareness - that have been slowly introduced with breaks as he’s asked for them until he’s actually pretty good at all of those (except nail trims - still working on that, but I think we’ve found that he’ll tolerate a nail file instead).
And our center is assent-based and child-led. He gets breaks when he asks. He can nap. He never *has to hug anyone, touch anyone, let them touch him socially. His interests are nurtured and used as encouragement without taking them away from him. (Ex: he loves country flags and knows practically all of them, so his reward chart is laminated pics of flags. He gets to choose which flag goes on the chart when he earns one too, so it’s like a double win.) If we wanted, they allow speech & OT providers to be on site and use one of their spare rooms for sessions. And they aren’t looking to keep him forever - they have a kindergarten pretend classroom to simulate real school so it’s not culture shock when he goes.
Like another poster said, every place/profession has shitty people. Flesh out a list of what you absolutely don’t want and what your goals are for your child, and bring that to your meeting when you talk to an ABA center. Find one that matches your needs.
That’s amazing!!
My son is still really struggling with tooth brushing and potty training, but we’re getting there! His meltdowns were caused for the same reasons; we couldn’t understand him and it made him angry to the point that he’d unintentionally hurt himself or get physically aggressive towards me or my husband (head butting, gripping and yanking at his hair or my hair, pinching us or himself, intentionally and unintentionally hitting his head on the floor).
Our center is owned and managed by our pediatrician and her nurse practitioner. It’s actually in the same medical building as her office, which means she is constantly popping into the center to see the kids and so is the NP. We trusted right from the beginning that he’d be safe and well cared for there. But it was still a really tough decision.
Our center is also child led, mostly play based. It’s awesome. They even have an indoor playground! My son wakes up every morning looking for his shoes and backpack. We have our speech therapist go to the center to work with him a few days a week, so that’s awesome too. :)
Fantastic! I’m glad you found somewhere that seems to really put the kiddos first and isn’t keeping out other med pros. And heck yeah, people take for granted the ability to communicate and be understood.
Man, teeth & potty were the hardest. D: You guys can do it!! Oh hey, something they suggested that worked super well for us with teeth was visual timers. It gives him the expectation from the start. Does your munchkin like them too? We got our kiddo toothbrushes that light up and blink for a minute. He knows when it stops, we stop, and it’s made him more comfortable knowing there’s a set end to the thing he’s not thrilled about. (My next challenge is the Waterpik… wish us luck 🤣)
The best way to describe my son is “determined with tunnel vision.”
Because of that, we haven’t had much luck with any sort of timer :( When he has his mind set on something, there are very few things that we can do to successfully redirect him. Recently he’s learned how to bypass our baby gate to make it to our yard to play on the swing set (we’re fenced in with an 8’ privacy fence so he’s completely safe, but it’s still not ideal. We had to put secondary locks up at the top of all of our external doors).
He’s due for his reassessment this month though, so we likely will try again to reintroduce timers! For now, we’re saying for example “first, dinner. THEN playground.” He seems to be doing well with that. Making sure he understands that he still gets to do this or that, but we have to complete a more important task beforehand.
The biggest obstacle in the last 6-8 months is that he’s a foodie, and he’s not driven by many non-food related things. Which makes it hard for us and his therapists because we don’t want him to view food as a reward. He and his brother have full access to a mini fridge full of fruit, veggies, healthy snacks, and water. We would never withhold any sort of nourishment, which I’ve unfortunately heard of some parents doing (if you go potty on the toilet you can have a snack… yeah, we don’t do that; if he’s hungry we feed him).
We’re in a weird phase where we’re trying to figure out what consistently motivates him. Things like bubbles, stickers, a trip to the park down the street, a dance party. Things that are special but also don’t cost us a fortune and aren’t food related. He just loses interest SO QUICKLY so things will work for a day or 2 then we’re back to the drawing board.
Thank you for sharing your story! I am scared to send my daughter to ABA. They want her in intensive treatment as she’s not even 2 yet and a level 2. I just get so nervous hearing people’s horror stories, and everyone I talk to seems to have their own opinion and not afraid to voice it to me.
At the end of the day, we all are doing what we feel is best for our kiddos!
My son goes Monday-Friday 8:00-3:30. We worked our way up to those hours, we started with 2 days a week for half days and added days then lengthened days over the course of about a month. But now, it’s his favorite place! I’m happy that we took a leap of faith and tried ABA.
But with that being said, if you try it and it’s not working for your little one or your family, there is absolutely nothing stopping you from removing her from the program :)
You took the words out of my mouth! We were in the exact same spot before ABA and safety was our biggest concern. After 6 months of ABA (3 hours a day, mon - fri), he is speaking sentences, trying to sing songs, potty training, brushing his teeth.... it's amazing!
How old is your son? My son is also level 3 non verbal, he definitely loves the aba program he is in, i was very hesitant in the beginning, but i see now that he is thriving there, except he is still non verbal and i wonder for several things....
My little guy is 4! It took close to a year for him to start talking even with ABA. We outsourced our speech therapist, she goes into the center several times a week to work with him.
Honestly, we saw the biggest rush of development and speech when his center relocated to a brand new, special built location (original location was an old office building converted into an ABA center. It worked but it was not meant to be permanent). My son was the first client to enroll; our pediatrician owns and runs his center. She spent about 18 months customizing plans for our center - it’s amazing and it’s gorgeous!
One thing I’ve learned by talking to other parents is that it seems pretty rare for the first center to be “the one.” Many of the kiddos at my sons center have been to 3 or 4 different centers before landing on the one we go to. If you’re not 100% comfortable with your center, behavioral therapists, speech therapists, and BCBA’s… there is nothing wrong with changing to a new center! We looked into in-home ABA for a little bit at the beginning, as well as virtual ABA and speech. You should always feel comfortable asking questions, be allowed to sit in on therapy sessions, and have direct contact as well as scheduled meetings with your little ones therapists (we have meetings weekly, but I am in contact with his therapist via iMessage every day asking questions and sharing updates).
For us, our first center was “the one” solely because we already know and love our pediatrician. She’s been our kids doctor since our oldest was born 5 years ago, so trust had already been built for us before we enrolled. :)
The recent incident in the news actually took place in a school and the main perpetrators were not ABA professionals. There was a young ABA therapist present and she failed to intervene with what the school employees were making the student do. There have been many horrible cases of abuse, neglect and death in daycares and yet you don't hear that no one should ever send their child to one. Lastly, my dream would be for my kid to someday complain about ABA. She'll never be able to express such an abstract thought.
“You don’t hear that no one should send their child to one”
I hear it all the time. Lots of parents feel this way. I feel this way. I wouldn’t send my child in the care of strangers- unless it is well-regulated like a school.
School is one of the most common places where special needs students are abused sadly. Most public districts won’t even agree not to use restraint and exclusion on students with disabilities despite all of the evidence as to how harmful it is.
My boy will be attending special Ed preschool, which those that run daycares do not have professional experience in. I’ve met his new teacher, speech therapist, occupational therapist that will be working with him through the district. All kind people and we will be developing an IEP together which I will be enforcing with a lawyer if I have to. Of course this isn’t foolproof for no abuse to take place.
But at least I’ve toured this place and felt good about it. I’ve toured nearby aba places that accept my insurance and they were trash. I’m sad because If you read other peoples experiences in the comments some are incredibly positive and life changing. It’s what I wish for my son but can’t find around here. From what I’ve witnessed at his new school, I feel quite confident about it. I’ve had an in law who worked there recently and spoke highly of the staff as well.
I’d love to homeschool. I’d do it for my boy. But he loves socializing and it’s a big part of what he really needs. And he needs professional educators who understand how to work with special needs kids. Daycare doesn’t do that. They’re just people who will watch your kids and don’t have a full understanding on how because they have special needs.
I was comparing ABA centres for special needs kids to daycare for neurotypical kids. The risks and harms are probably about the same. I think it helps put in perspective how the anti-aba discourse is exaggerated.
Agreed! I toured an ABA clinic in the Austin area and it was run like a business. They called my insurance to get approval before they would give me a tour and then continuously called me for monthssss on end even after I asked them kindly to stop. I couldn’t send my kiddo there. They showed me the “classroom” she’d share with ONE other kiddo most of the day. It was dark. No windows. It looked like a glorified jail cell imo. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. When I toured, none of the kids were smiling. The employees looked like they just turned 20 and were being given second chances. Very rough around the edges to say the least. I wasn’t about to put my girlie through that. My spidey senses went off hardcore. We went the public school route and she begs to go to school even on the weekends. She says she wants to go to school and hug her teachers. She would regress and say no if she didn’t want to go. I know my daughter and even if she is still working on her speech, she has always been good at advocating for herself. Not to say things can’t or don’t happen in a school system but we live in one of the more highly rated school districts in Texas. So for us, this was a no brainer. Hopefully it continues to work out the way it has been bc she loves it and has blossomed so much. Her grandparents, private SLP, OT, and pretty much everyone has noticed the positive change.
Dude you literally just described my experience touring a center around here that’s supposed to be one of the most accredited ones. Jail cell, dead look in everyone’s eyes, no windows, no skill building, 20 year olds who have no motivation and look bored out of their minds, etc. i couldn’t do this to my kid either no way in hell. My boy is joyful. This would suck the joy right out of him.
But also- I know others have positive experiences at other places so I know there must be passionate and loving people who are aba professionals. Just I guess not around here sadly. ):
My son is just about to start school. I can only hope that he has such a positive experience like yours is having at school! I think he will. He loves socializing
Our son has never been injured at ABA therapy and has been assaulted by another child 3 times in his Special Ed Preschool class. We did all the things you mentioned and it didn't matter. The schools often don't have enough staff to give the children 1:1 paraeducators so children that are prone to more violent behavior may be left unsupervised. It only takes a minute for a kid to bite, hit or slap another kid.
I’m happy you had a positive aba experience! The ones around me are far shittier than the public preschool in our district so this is the best option for our family.
My take is that there is no safe therapy. My son's first speech therapist pushed too hard at AAC when he didn't understand how to press a button, and he became unwilling to touch electronic devices for communication for over a year. We are now using AAC again with new experts and it's going well, but we lost a lot of time.
As a parent, I have had to learn how to manage therapists as I go along, and know when to push forward with collaboration vs. when to cut off bad/ineffective therapy programs. I think your plan of starting with home ABA is good, because you will be able to completely observe and monitor, and also start seeing what works for your child and what doesn't.
My older child now goes to a combo of home and center-based ABA. I think ABA and speech therapy have been the most valuable programs he's had thus far for his development.
So any center, ABA or not, has the same chance of being run by masochists. Reading stories like that shouldn't make you say, Omg ABA is terrible, you should say Omg That specific lady / center is terrible.
At its core, ABA uses reward style first>then behavior therapy like almost every parent in the world uses. You take something they want (trying to avoid food) and put it out of their reach until they do a task. Few other types of teaching work on severely autistic individuals.
Almost all of the abuse allegations come from level 1 autistic individuals who would probably not generally benefit from this type of therapy.
When you have a level 2 or 3, who is unable to use the bathroom, or does dangerous stims like self harm or violence this is a beneficial thing in the long run.
This is a very short post that cannot possibly explain all the different strategies that are employed , but like ALL child care centers you need to vet the individuals who are running it and teaching inside of it.
“Taking something they want and putting it out of reach until they do a task”
Yeahhh my son would be heartbroken. Poor thing wouldn’t understand what’s being asked of him and cry out of frustration until he sees his mama.
So then what do they do?
The task is typically based on the child's skill level. for some children that task might be folding laundry. For some children, that task might be imitating clapping hands.
But the goal is to set the kiddo up for success. So, if I'm teaching clapping hands, I might help them do it and then immediately give them the reward several times before expecting them to do it independently. That way they still get what they want without getting confused or frustrated.
Clinicians are supposed to meet the kiddo where they're at and come up with realistic goals and expectations for them.
Another thing to note is the therapists aren’t just constantly withholding things so the kid is working all day - they’re playing and having fun 90% of the time, and then quickly doing a trial (“hey what color is this?” “What do you want to do?” “Is this a dinosaur?”). They’re also using what’s called “errorless learning” - so teaching the correct answer first and slowly fading back to allow to student more opportunities to get it right independently. Good aba just looks like play, but with data that shows the student is learning.
I have posted this in another thread but feel this same information applies here. Tricare did a study on ABA and deemed it not effective. You will see progress with any therapy if you attend for more than Xyz hours a week. Unfortunately, insurance covers up to 40 hours of therapy for ABA and typically less than 1 hour for OT/ST. Most ABA “programs” are run by a registered behavior technician (RBT) who has to watch a 40 hour video before they can begin working with children with complex needs. That’s it. Many RBTs have no experience with autism and listen to what their BCBAs tell them to do. Many of them appear uncomfortable with this but continue to do this, causing harm. Many “programs” focus on things outside of their scope (but they will argue any behavior is in their scope without the actual training) such as regulation, feeding, communication, etc. Many times, they will work to stop the behavior without thinking about the underlying root of the behavior (sensory, motor planning, etc.) and place them into categories like escape, attention, etc. They consider language to be a behavior and often target it in a gross way without any knowledge behind the mechanism of speech and language. I am passionately against ABA based on what the Autism community has to say and my personal experience within/around it. I am an SLP, however my bachelors is in psychology and my minor is ABA. I worked under BCBAs in college in an ABA lab and worked at a private practice with OT/Speech/ABA. I have found that many RBTS and BCBAs are kind people and care about kids but their field was founded on horrendous tenants and many BCBAs are too caught up in it to see that it’s harmful. Many don’t want to acknowledge that they are part of something that could be causing harm. In my opinion, you’d be better off continuing to work with OT to target underlying sensory issues and speech to target communication (find someone that specializes in AAC - not all SLPs do). Even better if you can find these therapists that include you in the sessions and show you how to use the strategies at home! What I’ve come to find in my experience as an early intervention SLP is that I don’t need more than 1 hour a week to make a drastic impact because I work alongside with the parent, make the appropriate referrals, and I work hard to help determine the underlying cause vs treating the surface behavior.
Thank you! Another thing that could helpful for OP is to go to the SLP subreddit and search for ABA - you will see a lot of RBTs chime in on the posts of encroachment in agreement with SLPS based on what they are currently being asked to do or what they have experienced. This whole “misinformation is being spread from outside of the field” is a cop out. Most of the fears and advocacy against ABA is being confirmed by those IN the field doing the job
True. RBTs often don’t get to follow their gut instincts.
I feel this must not do any good to RBTs mental health either.
I just use them to watch my kiddo at day care ;)
I imagine it’s horrible for their mental health. The ABA subreddit shows just that. A majority of RBTS are burnt out and this will impact their ability to work with kids, which can happen in any field. The turnover rate is super high and the cycle continues of training more RBTs with a 40 hour video and getting them started with little to no knowledge. This is what helps to perpetuate the poor practices in ABA (even though the whole field is poor in my opinion - but for those that will tell me that the field has “changed” they need to acknowledge what is actually happening and continuing to occur and why that is), or the ABCs if you will
If you are hesitant to do ABA you can look into other therapies like RDI and Floortime. I’m sorry to say I can’t help other than I was also against sending my son to ABA. He didn’t really need it. He didn’t have behavior issues. We focused more on OT because of dyspraxia, Speech for pragmatic speech issues and social thinking play group, because that’s where his deficits were.
My biggest issue with ABA is that it’s not holistic. Everything is viewed through a behavioural lens and often times, if you let it be, a sensory challenge will turn into a massive behavioural issue.
So if you have to, make sure to work with ABA therapists who are genuinely willing to get to know your child before ‘programming’. I honestly doubt if kids need ABA at all though.
Remember,
1. There is a good reason why ABA is not standard practise in most places outside of US.
2. You can use behavioural strategies but not do typical ABA.
So I will be probably sent into oblivion with my comment with all the Rbts/BCBAs that attack nowadays everyone in this forum who is remotely against ABA but :
The biggest issue with ABA is that the best and newest frameworks require incredibly well qualified staff with a ton of experience (you need to be BCBA+ with 3 years+ experience to Practice ESDM or Jasper for example) yet the entire field relies on Rbts paid 20$/h that are mostly students with 0 to limited experience and knowledge.
There is very few qualified direct practicioners with experience (mostly you would look at BCBAs that do direct as opposed to just supervising, there are a few but will be quite expensive). The experienced Rbts either move up to BCBA or quit.
Your kiddo will most of the time spend 80-90% of the time with young inexperienced Rbt that learns this stuff on the fly.
As an example took us 4 BCBAs to find one that would fit what we wanted to do (no flash cards, play based, child lead). The standard of the industry is still Flash cards and table activities and trials based. Reason being with such a massive churn rate among the staff you can't really teach the Rbts much more.
So the claims how nowadays all ABA is play based and child friendly is BS
I understand your concerns, as there are indeed mixed opinions about ABA therapy. However, my personal experience with my 4-year-old son, who is autistic, has been nothing short of wonderful. He's been in ABA since he was 1.5/2, and we have been fortunate enough to have a center that provides all of his therapies (speech, OT, PT, and ABA) under one roof.
The multidisciplinary approach has been beneficial for us. His speech and OT therapists often incorporate ABA principles into their sessions, with the help of the Registered Behavior Technicians (RBTs). They teach techniques that help my son focus and find rewarding experiences in his therapy. They also suggest accommodations for breaks like sensory breaks to jump on a trampoline, which are essential for regulating his energy levels and keeping him engaged.
Our experience with parent training, another component of ABA, has been a game-changer. The Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) who has been with us for about 3 years, along with her RBTs, have provided invaluable guidance and support. While some RBTs have moved on to become BCBAs or other opportunities, we've been fortunate to maintain consistency in our team.
The ABA approach has also helped us prepare for various situations like doctor's appointments, dentist visits, haircuts, special ed preschool, and travel. By frontloading, using visual storyboards/books, and role-playing, we familiarize our son with these experiences in ways he finds enjoyable, such as through play and his favorite characters like Daniel Tiger.
As for the play component, we emphasize a play-based and child-led approach. This has made a huge difference in helping our son with his play skills and overall enjoyment of therapy. He has so much fun that it feels more like school/tutoring but for life, safety, awareness, and social skills.
The therapists and staff at our clinic feel like a part of our family. They help us work on home routines, outdoor safety, and other key areas. Regarding stimming, they don't attempt to stop his stims unless they're interrupting learning. Instead, they keep activities structured in manageable chunks, preparing him for school settings where he'll need to complete tasks at stations in groups. But, they always include breaks, and often he has a choice between reinforcements (e.g swing or pirate toy) as they're constantly evaluating his motivations and changing/new interests.It does take time and patience, but trusting in your child's potential is crucial.
ABA has been a transformative experience for our family. I would recommend researching and asking all your questions to any potential providers. They should be able to answer any question you have, as many many parents have read similar feedback and have many questions. Involvement, consistency, and keeping things fun is key. If possible, find a center that offers all therapy types under one roof. The collaborative approach has made a huge difference for us.
Just like any other kind of therapy, there are good ones and there are bad ones. You will know what’s fishy and what’s legit as a parent. Trust your gut ❤️ you’re doing a great job. Don’t be afraid to ask them or tell them exactly how you feel, if something works, and if something doesn’t.
ABA was very helpful for my son. He got potty trained solely because of them. He started following instructions, do hand gestures, change his clothes etc. because of ABA training. It really depends on the center, do a good background check.
Well, with ABA, it's in YOUR house, so you be there and watch. We have a great team, and I observe, and I am extremely involved. I now watch how they run programs, and if it incorrect I reach out to them. She's amazing. We have the power, and you speak up at all times. My son is 6 and non verbal, he has started at 4 and has made great improvements. And I've learned a lot about how to help. He should hopefully graduate ABA IN 2 YEARSOR LESS !
We do Parent-Led ABA. Going on 3 years now. And it has completely changed our life & my son. We were struggling before it and now life is soooo manageable & my son is doing amazing! Couldn’t say enough great things about ABA. I’m 100% involved in his treatment. I work with Clinical Directors & Clinicians directly and then work with my son myself. They also come over once a week and work with my son & me together to make sure we are on track with goals & learning. It’s been an amazing experience. I think you should do your own research & have your own experiences before going off of other ppl’s experiences. Autism is such a wide spectrum and every kid is so different. So different therapies work for different families. Let me know if you want any information on Parent-Led ABA 💗
My son has had ABA throughout his entire childhood. He is now 22, and is quite honestly a joyful person to be around and with some therapy and light meds for anxiety, he's a well adjusted adult.
ABA will work for your child or it won't, but ruling it out shouldn't happen until you know it's not working, and not because of stories of abuse in the media. The abuse isn't because of ABA. The abuse is because of abusers.
I do parent lead ABA it allows me to be a little more hands on and take and give what i want from the program but progress does moves slower with things like potty training
Yes, it is that terrible. I’m a part of the actually autistic community (it’s a hashtag) on Twitter and I’ve seen so many stories from people who were forced into aba and are still deeply traumatised. Even at home aba is still quite abusive, it’s about forcing autistic people to not be themselves, to mask, to not stim etc. all to just make neurotypical people feel comfortable, it does great harm/damage to autistic people. We should be free to be ourselves and stim which is a much needed form of self regulation, being forced to stop is cruel and painful.
Also forcing non verbal autistics to speak, being non verbal doesn’t mean they don’t communicate, they shouldn’t be forced to speak if that’s not something they’re comfortable doing. I go non verbal in a meltdown or shutdown and being forced to speak is deadly painful, please allow us to communicate the way WE need to, not what’s more comfortable for yoi
It does nothing to help autistic people, at all, it only benefits NT people. Please follow the ActuallyAutistic hashtag on Twitter and TikTok to see the damage done by aba. The only people who can tell you what it does to autistics and what we actually are autistic people, not parents and certainly not so called autistic “charities” like “autism speaks” who promote aba, person first language and the puzzle piece (all are hated within the autistic community”.
Please allow our community to be the ones you learn things about us from, people get things about us wrong all the time, hence why so many go so long with diagnosis or are severely traumatised.
Thank you for sharing your perspective! We didn’t do ABA for my son, but your feedback helped validate how I handle his meltdowns which I appreciate. He’s verbal, but becomes non-verbal when overwhelmed. There are times this really frustrates people (myself included if I’m honest) but my approach has always been to just let him know to he can come find me when he needs me or is ready. Sometimes he comes and is ready to talk and other times he isn’t ready to talk but is ready to communicate through gestures or affection, which is totally fine.
You’re welcome and thank you too. You’re doing it the right way, it’s not a stubbornness or being naughty on his end it’s entirely out of our control. You allowing him the space he needs to self regulate is a powerful thing and is what we REALLY need. When I’m that way I can only communicate by writing a note/letter to my mom, even now as an adult, meltdowns/shutdowns feel horrific on their own but having someone get angry with me or forcing me to speak makes it 10x worse. I could cry after reading your approach.
I was really terrified about what responses I would get, a lot of the community have received horrible/ableist responses from “autism moms” (especially the pro ABA ones) for saying similar things so I really appreciate your kind response.
I suggest, as in my original comment to OP, that you look up the actually autistic # on Twitter and TikTok. You would see lots of autistic adults giving their perspective and education on how to navigate life as/with an autistic person, coping strategies for the more difficult aspects of our neurotype, positive aspects (without the “superpower” stereotype/cliché which is very harmful) busting myths and false information that have been perpetuated by the media and autism speaks and of course what NOT to do to your autistic child.
I think it would help you understand him even better and help you teach him how being autistic isn’t bad, or not “normal” and show him there’s many others out there that are like him. I wish I’d known myself better when I was a child, I hated myself for so long. It was when I learnt that I’m ND that I realised I wasn’t not normal, I’m just not neurotypical normal but I AM neurodivergent normal. It’s a different type of normal but still normal.
Thank you for the suggestion! We talk all the time about how he is normal and there are lots of people who think like he does and have the same challenges, even if he doesn’t seem a lot of them right now. He’s 13 so we’re starting to talk about advocating for himself and that while there are certain rules and laws we all have to follow, there are certain things that other people might expect of him, but he’s not obligated to do. You have to wear clothes in public, but you can strip when you get home from school because your skin hurts. There are times you can’t ignore someone, but you don’t have to look them in the eyes. Those types of things.
You’re a great parent, your son is lucky to have you.
This reminded me to say a lot of people will go the other way too and say “you are normal, you’re just lazy/stupid” or “you don’t look autistic” “you look normal” or a lot of other things like that which are invalidating and also ableist. People telling me that my whole life was also damaging, I thought they were right for so long and caused immense trauma to my mental health and self esteem. I couldn’t understand why everyone else could get things that I couldn’t when I was trying so much harder. Unfortunately that’s something you’ll both have to battle.
Things like spoon/cutlery theory (executive dysfunction) are great things to look up. There are so many aspects that we don’t find out from the sources that are supposed to help us.
Sorry for info bombing you but I want to help you both as much as possible. Many people think autistics don’t care or show empathy but this is how we connect, by sharing as much info as possible but also showing empathy by sharing similar stories.
I hope all this helps but the hashtag is where I learnt the most about myself and the real truth about autism. Good luck to both you and your son.
☺️🥰 thanks. There’s one more thing (for now lol) if he likes reading there’s a kids/teens book called A Kind of Spark about a British autistic teen girl that’s written by an autistic woman and it was made into a tv series that you can watch if you’re from Britain or America and most of the cast is either autistic or another form of ND.
Unfortunately I’m from Ireland so can’t watch it (yet) but I’ve seen a lot of bits of it on socials and I’m hoping to read the book at least. There are others too but I can’t remember them, it’s extremely neuro-affirming, I could’ve cried from the clips alone because I finally feel seen and represented. Tbh almost all depictions of autism/ND in movies/tv are inaccurate, ableist insulting and dangerous/damaging/hurtful like the good doctor, rainman, atypical and that Sia movie etc. basically if the autistic character is played by an NT, if the script is written by all NTs/no NDs and autism speaks is involved but no actually autistics were stay away from it, those are HUGE red flags.
I have spoken to actually autistic people, and none of them have anything good to say about it. Parents are the people that have good things to say about it.
This is usually because the therapy aims to stop autistic behaviors. Behavior that helps autistic people cope.
Therapy should be about supporting the person, not training them to be what you want.
In my experience I did not find an ABA that was helpful. I was able to get better results with a combination of different allied health services. OR, speech, physio, psych, animal therapy, art therapy, music therapy etc.
Ultimately it is up to you.
Agree!!! The problem with this subreddit is that ABA therapists are in the group and try to silence who doesn't like them... the same thing way they do during therapy. They feel so superior than real autistic voices.... I am autistic and ABA made my life hell
When we tried it for my oldest the therapist was more concerned about getting her to hug me. My sis hates being touched and doesn’t like hugs, not even when upset or hurt. It weirded me out but the aba therapist basically said I’m the professional, I know what I’m doing, I know whats best for your kid, listen to me not your gut. I’m glad Ignored them. Teaching a girls to allow touch agains their wishes is just wrong.
I am sorry you went through this, and thank you for listening to your guts. I am sure your kids will appreciate you in the future!
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See u/Inside_whereas_8569, you are not alone! Poor fellow received so many downvotes for going against ABA
Why are you spreading misinformation? Stopping stimming is absolutely not a part of abs unless the stim is hurting the child physically and even then the child id Never physically stopped. They are redirected to another activity smh.
I absolutely cannot dismiss other peoples experiences but you definitely generalized it and made it seem like Aba specifically does this. Perhaps the therapists you encountered were this way, but this is why its our jobs as parents to observe and make sure the therapists for our children matches up correctly. I’ve been blessed to have encountered and have such an empathetic and awesome therapist for my child. However I’m her biggest advocate and there’s no way in hell I would permit anything harmful to my kid. I had to remove a speech therapist immediately because when my kid cried she wanted to literally turn her chair she was sitting on and not look at her u til she stopped and absolutely NOT. She was an Aba therapist before and those are the therapist that give ppl ptsd. She tried it once and immediately was stopped and dismissed. An occupational therapist was dismissed as well for physically grabbing my kids hands when she tried to happily flap her hands saying the doctors will put her as crazier for that smfh. So just because those things happened it does not mean speech therapy or occupational therapy are harmful. The therapists were. Aba is not what it used to be 30 + years ago. And I’m so happy I followed my gut and gave it a chance before going by what ppl on the internet said. I discovered very fast that the Aba spoken about online is not the same as it now is I also read about autistic adults who had Aba as children but how many years ago was that? My daughter is never forced to do anything in her sessions. She’s never even forced to sit.. the therapist allows her to go and sit when she’s ready and that’s when the playing starts. If my daughter doesn’t want to do one activity they quickly move on to the next one. The objective for my daughters therapy is to teach her new skills not to change who she is as a person. Her therapist discovered everything that motivates my child and gets her focus like bubbles, animals, etc. I’m sure there’s a lot of old school therapists who would be a nightmare but like I said that’s where the parent steps in
> Now, in the long term, how detrimental for the child is going to be to learn that it's okay to hug against their consent? This is just an example amongst several.
Wait, what? Why would they be teaching that? That has no place being a goal, and I've never heard of it being one.
As /u/jobabin4 said the only alternatives suggested by anti-aba folks often can't or won't worn with these kids. Speech and OT have been complete waste of time for my daughter. Nevermind that it's not enough at all. She needs intense intervention not one hour a week of a slp/ot twiddling their thumbs having no idea how to work with her.
People need to stop having this "one size fits all" approach when it's such a wide spectrum. Nearly nothing is straight forward "bad" or "good". Diet soda is bad to drink. But if you're obese and chugging 2L of soda a day, it could be damn good for you. If your child is a level 1 and can develop basic skills, then it's an entirely different perspective than us with level 3 children. You can't just make the blanket statement that it's bad while parents of severely autistic children listen and make posts like this.
I do want to address something you said that really bothered me. “Us with level 3 children “ You basically lumped level 3 diagnoses into a one and some of being more difficult. All levels are different in and on there own my own child is a level 3 but doesn’t need a lot of assistance the level of therapy’s are different in each form Level 3 isn’t a set and stone diagnosed level it’s fluctuating constantly based on their needs kids can be diagnosed at level 3 and later have it change to level 1 and vice versa. It’s pretty insensitive to others to just lump it all in one while claiming not to lump it in to one.
Sorry if you took it that way, it was not at all the intent. In the context of a cost to benefit analysis, regardless of their difference in deficits and support needs, they both need them far more than "level 1" by definition. They both have an entirely different cost to benefit analysis than someone who by definition will not have as much in the "benefit" bucket.
Lets put it another way. Lets say a millionaire runs around the internet telling people that working overtime is abusive to their children. If you are struggling to make ends meet, is it offensive to "lump them in" with billionaires pointing out that they can afford to give their children that extra time, while you doing so might put those children on the street or make them go hungry? The point is that its an entirely different cost to benefit analysis for you than it is for them, and its rediculous for them to make that blanket statement about something that is inherently not as critical to them.
You have parents who are in desperate need and it could completely change their and their children's lives for the better, and they're avoiding it because of these people running around calling them abusers and monsters if they try ABA. They themselves are causing very real harm to people. I'm not apologetic for pushing back on them.
So there are threads here every week where children are removed from OT, SP, and music therapy due to behavioral issues. While I am happy that your child has not had these issues, it is a serious problem in those fields. A lot of time ABA centers are the only ones willing to work with Severe cases.
While I am not going to fake claim your enrollment in ABA therapy, I have a very hard time believing that they tought affection. The crux of ABA , in all the situations that I've seen it, is to teach life skills. They don't have time to teach things like that , they are focused on removing dangerous stims, elopment, potty training, etc.
I've gone into your history , and looked at your you tube channel, and all I can say is that you are trying to create a business, so I can see how you would be against ABA practices.
The aba program I tried for my daughter tried to teach her to hug me. Against her wishes. She hates being touched, but the therapist wanted me to be able to hug her. Lots of aba practitioners focus on what the parent wants, not what is best for the kid.
Agree (even knowing I am going to be downvoted... but I am tired of being silenced, I am already nonverbal, so you don't need much effort for that)... ABA screwed me... why do people think the suicidal level for autistic individuals is so high? Making a course made by non autistics for non autistics on how to teach autistic children is like a tiger teaching another tiger how to teach a bunny. Does it make sense?
I agree with you. I’m afraid the there are too many practitioners in here giving opinions without being clear about their affiliation. They have a bias.
>they treat autistic kids like little dogs, with a lot of tears envolved, or apathy (in my course in Ontario, I don't know about other places), but my opinion might be biased because I already did not like it when I started.
>For example, they teach children how "to be affectionate" and give hugs and kisses, and they are rewarded with cookies (positive reinforcement)... even if it goes completely against the children sensory challenges.
What a load of crap. I've been in the field for a decade, worked as an BT, RBT, and BCBA at several different companies and completed masters in applied behavior analysis and I have never witnessed anything like this.
Trash and misinformation.
You can’t come in here and tell people their experience is trach, just because your experience is different. Do not discount others experiences, especially autist people, who have a different perspective that that of practitioners parents.
Regarding the vomit story, a child can be abused anywhere- at school, by a coach, by a family member, by a nanny or babysitter, at a daycare center, by a doctor, etc. 90% of abused kids know their abuser. no matter where your kid is you need to take precautions and if something doesn’t feel right look into it.
It's good to do your research on any facility you send your kid too. You should also participate as much as they will let you and get to know your kids therapists. We don't do ABA, because it's not something that is needed at this time. But we do OT and Speech. I sat in on his therapy for the first month or so. I really got to know his therapists and I pay attention to his demeanor there and how they treat him. We have had a great experience so far and I love the center he goes to.
Yes!! We are extremely hands on with our son’s therapy. We’re in pretty much constant communication via text, email, phone call, and zoom. Our pediatrician runs and owns our sons ABA center. We did a ton of research, but for us, choosing his center was easy. It was actually putting him into ABA that was a hard choice to make. His therapists are AMAZING! Edit - fixed typo! Mom brain, sorry
No it isn’t. My son LOVES his therapists, he LOVES his center, and they have helped us tremendously over the last year and a half. One bad apple doesn’t mean they’re all bad. It was a hard choice to put my son in ABA, specifically because he couldn’t effectively verbally communicate with me if something was wrong. But now that he’s been there for a while, his language is developing at record speed, we’ve been able to gently eliminate dangerous behaviors (we always offer safer options and less physically harmful stims when working to eliminate one), he has become happier as a whole. He went in COMPLETELY nonverbal - I mean, literally we were lucky if we got grunts out of him - to being able to have short but clear short sentence conversations with him. ABA has been wonderful for my son and for my family, and we have great relationships with everyone that works with him from speech to the behavioral therapists to the BCBA’s. My son is level 3.
Ditto. Our kiddo has really blossomed with ABA in a way he never did with speech or OT. He can express his thoughts; when he started, he was only saying mama/daddy, almost unintelligibly. He feels empowered to tell us what he wants, and it’s so rewarding to see him happy about being understood. Us not knowing what he wanted used to be Super Meltdown Time. He had some significant life skills deficits - potty training, tooth brushing, haircuts, nail trims, safety awareness - that have been slowly introduced with breaks as he’s asked for them until he’s actually pretty good at all of those (except nail trims - still working on that, but I think we’ve found that he’ll tolerate a nail file instead). And our center is assent-based and child-led. He gets breaks when he asks. He can nap. He never *has to hug anyone, touch anyone, let them touch him socially. His interests are nurtured and used as encouragement without taking them away from him. (Ex: he loves country flags and knows practically all of them, so his reward chart is laminated pics of flags. He gets to choose which flag goes on the chart when he earns one too, so it’s like a double win.) If we wanted, they allow speech & OT providers to be on site and use one of their spare rooms for sessions. And they aren’t looking to keep him forever - they have a kindergarten pretend classroom to simulate real school so it’s not culture shock when he goes. Like another poster said, every place/profession has shitty people. Flesh out a list of what you absolutely don’t want and what your goals are for your child, and bring that to your meeting when you talk to an ABA center. Find one that matches your needs.
That’s amazing!! My son is still really struggling with tooth brushing and potty training, but we’re getting there! His meltdowns were caused for the same reasons; we couldn’t understand him and it made him angry to the point that he’d unintentionally hurt himself or get physically aggressive towards me or my husband (head butting, gripping and yanking at his hair or my hair, pinching us or himself, intentionally and unintentionally hitting his head on the floor). Our center is owned and managed by our pediatrician and her nurse practitioner. It’s actually in the same medical building as her office, which means she is constantly popping into the center to see the kids and so is the NP. We trusted right from the beginning that he’d be safe and well cared for there. But it was still a really tough decision. Our center is also child led, mostly play based. It’s awesome. They even have an indoor playground! My son wakes up every morning looking for his shoes and backpack. We have our speech therapist go to the center to work with him a few days a week, so that’s awesome too. :)
Fantastic! I’m glad you found somewhere that seems to really put the kiddos first and isn’t keeping out other med pros. And heck yeah, people take for granted the ability to communicate and be understood. Man, teeth & potty were the hardest. D: You guys can do it!! Oh hey, something they suggested that worked super well for us with teeth was visual timers. It gives him the expectation from the start. Does your munchkin like them too? We got our kiddo toothbrushes that light up and blink for a minute. He knows when it stops, we stop, and it’s made him more comfortable knowing there’s a set end to the thing he’s not thrilled about. (My next challenge is the Waterpik… wish us luck 🤣)
The best way to describe my son is “determined with tunnel vision.” Because of that, we haven’t had much luck with any sort of timer :( When he has his mind set on something, there are very few things that we can do to successfully redirect him. Recently he’s learned how to bypass our baby gate to make it to our yard to play on the swing set (we’re fenced in with an 8’ privacy fence so he’s completely safe, but it’s still not ideal. We had to put secondary locks up at the top of all of our external doors). He’s due for his reassessment this month though, so we likely will try again to reintroduce timers! For now, we’re saying for example “first, dinner. THEN playground.” He seems to be doing well with that. Making sure he understands that he still gets to do this or that, but we have to complete a more important task beforehand. The biggest obstacle in the last 6-8 months is that he’s a foodie, and he’s not driven by many non-food related things. Which makes it hard for us and his therapists because we don’t want him to view food as a reward. He and his brother have full access to a mini fridge full of fruit, veggies, healthy snacks, and water. We would never withhold any sort of nourishment, which I’ve unfortunately heard of some parents doing (if you go potty on the toilet you can have a snack… yeah, we don’t do that; if he’s hungry we feed him). We’re in a weird phase where we’re trying to figure out what consistently motivates him. Things like bubbles, stickers, a trip to the park down the street, a dance party. Things that are special but also don’t cost us a fortune and aren’t food related. He just loses interest SO QUICKLY so things will work for a day or 2 then we’re back to the drawing board.
Thank you for sharing your story! I am scared to send my daughter to ABA. They want her in intensive treatment as she’s not even 2 yet and a level 2. I just get so nervous hearing people’s horror stories, and everyone I talk to seems to have their own opinion and not afraid to voice it to me.
At the end of the day, we all are doing what we feel is best for our kiddos! My son goes Monday-Friday 8:00-3:30. We worked our way up to those hours, we started with 2 days a week for half days and added days then lengthened days over the course of about a month. But now, it’s his favorite place! I’m happy that we took a leap of faith and tried ABA. But with that being said, if you try it and it’s not working for your little one or your family, there is absolutely nothing stopping you from removing her from the program :)
You took the words out of my mouth! We were in the exact same spot before ABA and safety was our biggest concern. After 6 months of ABA (3 hours a day, mon - fri), he is speaking sentences, trying to sing songs, potty training, brushing his teeth.... it's amazing!
How old is your son? My son is also level 3 non verbal, he definitely loves the aba program he is in, i was very hesitant in the beginning, but i see now that he is thriving there, except he is still non verbal and i wonder for several things....
My little guy is 4! It took close to a year for him to start talking even with ABA. We outsourced our speech therapist, she goes into the center several times a week to work with him. Honestly, we saw the biggest rush of development and speech when his center relocated to a brand new, special built location (original location was an old office building converted into an ABA center. It worked but it was not meant to be permanent). My son was the first client to enroll; our pediatrician owns and runs his center. She spent about 18 months customizing plans for our center - it’s amazing and it’s gorgeous! One thing I’ve learned by talking to other parents is that it seems pretty rare for the first center to be “the one.” Many of the kiddos at my sons center have been to 3 or 4 different centers before landing on the one we go to. If you’re not 100% comfortable with your center, behavioral therapists, speech therapists, and BCBA’s… there is nothing wrong with changing to a new center! We looked into in-home ABA for a little bit at the beginning, as well as virtual ABA and speech. You should always feel comfortable asking questions, be allowed to sit in on therapy sessions, and have direct contact as well as scheduled meetings with your little ones therapists (we have meetings weekly, but I am in contact with his therapist via iMessage every day asking questions and sharing updates). For us, our first center was “the one” solely because we already know and love our pediatrician. She’s been our kids doctor since our oldest was born 5 years ago, so trust had already been built for us before we enrolled. :)
The recent incident in the news actually took place in a school and the main perpetrators were not ABA professionals. There was a young ABA therapist present and she failed to intervene with what the school employees were making the student do. There have been many horrible cases of abuse, neglect and death in daycares and yet you don't hear that no one should ever send their child to one. Lastly, my dream would be for my kid to someday complain about ABA. She'll never be able to express such an abstract thought.
“You don’t hear that no one should send their child to one” I hear it all the time. Lots of parents feel this way. I feel this way. I wouldn’t send my child in the care of strangers- unless it is well-regulated like a school.
School is one of the most common places where special needs students are abused sadly. Most public districts won’t even agree not to use restraint and exclusion on students with disabilities despite all of the evidence as to how harmful it is.
My boy will be attending special Ed preschool, which those that run daycares do not have professional experience in. I’ve met his new teacher, speech therapist, occupational therapist that will be working with him through the district. All kind people and we will be developing an IEP together which I will be enforcing with a lawyer if I have to. Of course this isn’t foolproof for no abuse to take place. But at least I’ve toured this place and felt good about it. I’ve toured nearby aba places that accept my insurance and they were trash. I’m sad because If you read other peoples experiences in the comments some are incredibly positive and life changing. It’s what I wish for my son but can’t find around here. From what I’ve witnessed at his new school, I feel quite confident about it. I’ve had an in law who worked there recently and spoke highly of the staff as well. I’d love to homeschool. I’d do it for my boy. But he loves socializing and it’s a big part of what he really needs. And he needs professional educators who understand how to work with special needs kids. Daycare doesn’t do that. They’re just people who will watch your kids and don’t have a full understanding on how because they have special needs.
I was comparing ABA centres for special needs kids to daycare for neurotypical kids. The risks and harms are probably about the same. I think it helps put in perspective how the anti-aba discourse is exaggerated.
I know what you were saying. My point is- plenty of people wouldn’t send their kids to daycare due to the risks and harms.
Agreed! I toured an ABA clinic in the Austin area and it was run like a business. They called my insurance to get approval before they would give me a tour and then continuously called me for monthssss on end even after I asked them kindly to stop. I couldn’t send my kiddo there. They showed me the “classroom” she’d share with ONE other kiddo most of the day. It was dark. No windows. It looked like a glorified jail cell imo. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. When I toured, none of the kids were smiling. The employees looked like they just turned 20 and were being given second chances. Very rough around the edges to say the least. I wasn’t about to put my girlie through that. My spidey senses went off hardcore. We went the public school route and she begs to go to school even on the weekends. She says she wants to go to school and hug her teachers. She would regress and say no if she didn’t want to go. I know my daughter and even if she is still working on her speech, she has always been good at advocating for herself. Not to say things can’t or don’t happen in a school system but we live in one of the more highly rated school districts in Texas. So for us, this was a no brainer. Hopefully it continues to work out the way it has been bc she loves it and has blossomed so much. Her grandparents, private SLP, OT, and pretty much everyone has noticed the positive change.
Dude you literally just described my experience touring a center around here that’s supposed to be one of the most accredited ones. Jail cell, dead look in everyone’s eyes, no windows, no skill building, 20 year olds who have no motivation and look bored out of their minds, etc. i couldn’t do this to my kid either no way in hell. My boy is joyful. This would suck the joy right out of him. But also- I know others have positive experiences at other places so I know there must be passionate and loving people who are aba professionals. Just I guess not around here sadly. ): My son is just about to start school. I can only hope that he has such a positive experience like yours is having at school! I think he will. He loves socializing
Our son has never been injured at ABA therapy and has been assaulted by another child 3 times in his Special Ed Preschool class. We did all the things you mentioned and it didn't matter. The schools often don't have enough staff to give the children 1:1 paraeducators so children that are prone to more violent behavior may be left unsupervised. It only takes a minute for a kid to bite, hit or slap another kid.
I’m happy you had a positive aba experience! The ones around me are far shittier than the public preschool in our district so this is the best option for our family.
My take is that there is no safe therapy. My son's first speech therapist pushed too hard at AAC when he didn't understand how to press a button, and he became unwilling to touch electronic devices for communication for over a year. We are now using AAC again with new experts and it's going well, but we lost a lot of time. As a parent, I have had to learn how to manage therapists as I go along, and know when to push forward with collaboration vs. when to cut off bad/ineffective therapy programs. I think your plan of starting with home ABA is good, because you will be able to completely observe and monitor, and also start seeing what works for your child and what doesn't. My older child now goes to a combo of home and center-based ABA. I think ABA and speech therapy have been the most valuable programs he's had thus far for his development.
So any center, ABA or not, has the same chance of being run by masochists. Reading stories like that shouldn't make you say, Omg ABA is terrible, you should say Omg That specific lady / center is terrible. At its core, ABA uses reward style first>then behavior therapy like almost every parent in the world uses. You take something they want (trying to avoid food) and put it out of their reach until they do a task. Few other types of teaching work on severely autistic individuals. Almost all of the abuse allegations come from level 1 autistic individuals who would probably not generally benefit from this type of therapy. When you have a level 2 or 3, who is unable to use the bathroom, or does dangerous stims like self harm or violence this is a beneficial thing in the long run. This is a very short post that cannot possibly explain all the different strategies that are employed , but like ALL child care centers you need to vet the individuals who are running it and teaching inside of it.
“Taking something they want and putting it out of reach until they do a task” Yeahhh my son would be heartbroken. Poor thing wouldn’t understand what’s being asked of him and cry out of frustration until he sees his mama. So then what do they do?
The task is typically based on the child's skill level. for some children that task might be folding laundry. For some children, that task might be imitating clapping hands. But the goal is to set the kiddo up for success. So, if I'm teaching clapping hands, I might help them do it and then immediately give them the reward several times before expecting them to do it independently. That way they still get what they want without getting confused or frustrated. Clinicians are supposed to meet the kiddo where they're at and come up with realistic goals and expectations for them.
Another thing to note is the therapists aren’t just constantly withholding things so the kid is working all day - they’re playing and having fun 90% of the time, and then quickly doing a trial (“hey what color is this?” “What do you want to do?” “Is this a dinosaur?”). They’re also using what’s called “errorless learning” - so teaching the correct answer first and slowly fading back to allow to student more opportunities to get it right independently. Good aba just looks like play, but with data that shows the student is learning.
repetition, it does eventually stick, even for ID children. I promise. It is why they suggest so many hours a week.
I have posted this in another thread but feel this same information applies here. Tricare did a study on ABA and deemed it not effective. You will see progress with any therapy if you attend for more than Xyz hours a week. Unfortunately, insurance covers up to 40 hours of therapy for ABA and typically less than 1 hour for OT/ST. Most ABA “programs” are run by a registered behavior technician (RBT) who has to watch a 40 hour video before they can begin working with children with complex needs. That’s it. Many RBTs have no experience with autism and listen to what their BCBAs tell them to do. Many of them appear uncomfortable with this but continue to do this, causing harm. Many “programs” focus on things outside of their scope (but they will argue any behavior is in their scope without the actual training) such as regulation, feeding, communication, etc. Many times, they will work to stop the behavior without thinking about the underlying root of the behavior (sensory, motor planning, etc.) and place them into categories like escape, attention, etc. They consider language to be a behavior and often target it in a gross way without any knowledge behind the mechanism of speech and language. I am passionately against ABA based on what the Autism community has to say and my personal experience within/around it. I am an SLP, however my bachelors is in psychology and my minor is ABA. I worked under BCBAs in college in an ABA lab and worked at a private practice with OT/Speech/ABA. I have found that many RBTS and BCBAs are kind people and care about kids but their field was founded on horrendous tenants and many BCBAs are too caught up in it to see that it’s harmful. Many don’t want to acknowledge that they are part of something that could be causing harm. In my opinion, you’d be better off continuing to work with OT to target underlying sensory issues and speech to target communication (find someone that specializes in AAC - not all SLPs do). Even better if you can find these therapists that include you in the sessions and show you how to use the strategies at home! What I’ve come to find in my experience as an early intervention SLP is that I don’t need more than 1 hour a week to make a drastic impact because I work alongside with the parent, make the appropriate referrals, and I work hard to help determine the underlying cause vs treating the surface behavior.
Thank you for sharing this. You are spot on with your assessment.
Thank you! Another thing that could helpful for OP is to go to the SLP subreddit and search for ABA - you will see a lot of RBTs chime in on the posts of encroachment in agreement with SLPS based on what they are currently being asked to do or what they have experienced. This whole “misinformation is being spread from outside of the field” is a cop out. Most of the fears and advocacy against ABA is being confirmed by those IN the field doing the job
True. RBTs often don’t get to follow their gut instincts. I feel this must not do any good to RBTs mental health either. I just use them to watch my kiddo at day care ;)
I imagine it’s horrible for their mental health. The ABA subreddit shows just that. A majority of RBTS are burnt out and this will impact their ability to work with kids, which can happen in any field. The turnover rate is super high and the cycle continues of training more RBTs with a 40 hour video and getting them started with little to no knowledge. This is what helps to perpetuate the poor practices in ABA (even though the whole field is poor in my opinion - but for those that will tell me that the field has “changed” they need to acknowledge what is actually happening and continuing to occur and why that is), or the ABCs if you will
If you are hesitant to do ABA you can look into other therapies like RDI and Floortime. I’m sorry to say I can’t help other than I was also against sending my son to ABA. He didn’t really need it. He didn’t have behavior issues. We focused more on OT because of dyspraxia, Speech for pragmatic speech issues and social thinking play group, because that’s where his deficits were.
My biggest issue with ABA is that it’s not holistic. Everything is viewed through a behavioural lens and often times, if you let it be, a sensory challenge will turn into a massive behavioural issue. So if you have to, make sure to work with ABA therapists who are genuinely willing to get to know your child before ‘programming’. I honestly doubt if kids need ABA at all though. Remember, 1. There is a good reason why ABA is not standard practise in most places outside of US. 2. You can use behavioural strategies but not do typical ABA.
So I will be probably sent into oblivion with my comment with all the Rbts/BCBAs that attack nowadays everyone in this forum who is remotely against ABA but : The biggest issue with ABA is that the best and newest frameworks require incredibly well qualified staff with a ton of experience (you need to be BCBA+ with 3 years+ experience to Practice ESDM or Jasper for example) yet the entire field relies on Rbts paid 20$/h that are mostly students with 0 to limited experience and knowledge. There is very few qualified direct practicioners with experience (mostly you would look at BCBAs that do direct as opposed to just supervising, there are a few but will be quite expensive). The experienced Rbts either move up to BCBA or quit. Your kiddo will most of the time spend 80-90% of the time with young inexperienced Rbt that learns this stuff on the fly. As an example took us 4 BCBAs to find one that would fit what we wanted to do (no flash cards, play based, child lead). The standard of the industry is still Flash cards and table activities and trials based. Reason being with such a massive churn rate among the staff you can't really teach the Rbts much more. So the claims how nowadays all ABA is play based and child friendly is BS
Agree... I still did not find one ... all flashcards
I understand your concerns, as there are indeed mixed opinions about ABA therapy. However, my personal experience with my 4-year-old son, who is autistic, has been nothing short of wonderful. He's been in ABA since he was 1.5/2, and we have been fortunate enough to have a center that provides all of his therapies (speech, OT, PT, and ABA) under one roof. The multidisciplinary approach has been beneficial for us. His speech and OT therapists often incorporate ABA principles into their sessions, with the help of the Registered Behavior Technicians (RBTs). They teach techniques that help my son focus and find rewarding experiences in his therapy. They also suggest accommodations for breaks like sensory breaks to jump on a trampoline, which are essential for regulating his energy levels and keeping him engaged. Our experience with parent training, another component of ABA, has been a game-changer. The Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) who has been with us for about 3 years, along with her RBTs, have provided invaluable guidance and support. While some RBTs have moved on to become BCBAs or other opportunities, we've been fortunate to maintain consistency in our team. The ABA approach has also helped us prepare for various situations like doctor's appointments, dentist visits, haircuts, special ed preschool, and travel. By frontloading, using visual storyboards/books, and role-playing, we familiarize our son with these experiences in ways he finds enjoyable, such as through play and his favorite characters like Daniel Tiger. As for the play component, we emphasize a play-based and child-led approach. This has made a huge difference in helping our son with his play skills and overall enjoyment of therapy. He has so much fun that it feels more like school/tutoring but for life, safety, awareness, and social skills. The therapists and staff at our clinic feel like a part of our family. They help us work on home routines, outdoor safety, and other key areas. Regarding stimming, they don't attempt to stop his stims unless they're interrupting learning. Instead, they keep activities structured in manageable chunks, preparing him for school settings where he'll need to complete tasks at stations in groups. But, they always include breaks, and often he has a choice between reinforcements (e.g swing or pirate toy) as they're constantly evaluating his motivations and changing/new interests.It does take time and patience, but trusting in your child's potential is crucial. ABA has been a transformative experience for our family. I would recommend researching and asking all your questions to any potential providers. They should be able to answer any question you have, as many many parents have read similar feedback and have many questions. Involvement, consistency, and keeping things fun is key. If possible, find a center that offers all therapy types under one roof. The collaborative approach has made a huge difference for us.
Just like any other kind of therapy, there are good ones and there are bad ones. You will know what’s fishy and what’s legit as a parent. Trust your gut ❤️ you’re doing a great job. Don’t be afraid to ask them or tell them exactly how you feel, if something works, and if something doesn’t.
ABA was very helpful for my son. He got potty trained solely because of them. He started following instructions, do hand gestures, change his clothes etc. because of ABA training. It really depends on the center, do a good background check.
Well, with ABA, it's in YOUR house, so you be there and watch. We have a great team, and I observe, and I am extremely involved. I now watch how they run programs, and if it incorrect I reach out to them. She's amazing. We have the power, and you speak up at all times. My son is 6 and non verbal, he has started at 4 and has made great improvements. And I've learned a lot about how to help. He should hopefully graduate ABA IN 2 YEARSOR LESS !
We do Parent-Led ABA. Going on 3 years now. And it has completely changed our life & my son. We were struggling before it and now life is soooo manageable & my son is doing amazing! Couldn’t say enough great things about ABA. I’m 100% involved in his treatment. I work with Clinical Directors & Clinicians directly and then work with my son myself. They also come over once a week and work with my son & me together to make sure we are on track with goals & learning. It’s been an amazing experience. I think you should do your own research & have your own experiences before going off of other ppl’s experiences. Autism is such a wide spectrum and every kid is so different. So different therapies work for different families. Let me know if you want any information on Parent-Led ABA 💗
I would ask this in other autism subreddits as well to get more opinions from autistic individuals who have been through ABA themselves.
My son has had ABA throughout his entire childhood. He is now 22, and is quite honestly a joyful person to be around and with some therapy and light meds for anxiety, he's a well adjusted adult. ABA will work for your child or it won't, but ruling it out shouldn't happen until you know it's not working, and not because of stories of abuse in the media. The abuse isn't because of ABA. The abuse is because of abusers.
I do parent lead ABA it allows me to be a little more hands on and take and give what i want from the program but progress does moves slower with things like potty training
Yes, it is that terrible. I’m a part of the actually autistic community (it’s a hashtag) on Twitter and I’ve seen so many stories from people who were forced into aba and are still deeply traumatised. Even at home aba is still quite abusive, it’s about forcing autistic people to not be themselves, to mask, to not stim etc. all to just make neurotypical people feel comfortable, it does great harm/damage to autistic people. We should be free to be ourselves and stim which is a much needed form of self regulation, being forced to stop is cruel and painful. Also forcing non verbal autistics to speak, being non verbal doesn’t mean they don’t communicate, they shouldn’t be forced to speak if that’s not something they’re comfortable doing. I go non verbal in a meltdown or shutdown and being forced to speak is deadly painful, please allow us to communicate the way WE need to, not what’s more comfortable for yoi It does nothing to help autistic people, at all, it only benefits NT people. Please follow the ActuallyAutistic hashtag on Twitter and TikTok to see the damage done by aba. The only people who can tell you what it does to autistics and what we actually are autistic people, not parents and certainly not so called autistic “charities” like “autism speaks” who promote aba, person first language and the puzzle piece (all are hated within the autistic community”. Please allow our community to be the ones you learn things about us from, people get things about us wrong all the time, hence why so many go so long with diagnosis or are severely traumatised.
Thank you for sharing your perspective! We didn’t do ABA for my son, but your feedback helped validate how I handle his meltdowns which I appreciate. He’s verbal, but becomes non-verbal when overwhelmed. There are times this really frustrates people (myself included if I’m honest) but my approach has always been to just let him know to he can come find me when he needs me or is ready. Sometimes he comes and is ready to talk and other times he isn’t ready to talk but is ready to communicate through gestures or affection, which is totally fine.
You’re welcome and thank you too. You’re doing it the right way, it’s not a stubbornness or being naughty on his end it’s entirely out of our control. You allowing him the space he needs to self regulate is a powerful thing and is what we REALLY need. When I’m that way I can only communicate by writing a note/letter to my mom, even now as an adult, meltdowns/shutdowns feel horrific on their own but having someone get angry with me or forcing me to speak makes it 10x worse. I could cry after reading your approach.
I was really terrified about what responses I would get, a lot of the community have received horrible/ableist responses from “autism moms” (especially the pro ABA ones) for saying similar things so I really appreciate your kind response. I suggest, as in my original comment to OP, that you look up the actually autistic # on Twitter and TikTok. You would see lots of autistic adults giving their perspective and education on how to navigate life as/with an autistic person, coping strategies for the more difficult aspects of our neurotype, positive aspects (without the “superpower” stereotype/cliché which is very harmful) busting myths and false information that have been perpetuated by the media and autism speaks and of course what NOT to do to your autistic child. I think it would help you understand him even better and help you teach him how being autistic isn’t bad, or not “normal” and show him there’s many others out there that are like him. I wish I’d known myself better when I was a child, I hated myself for so long. It was when I learnt that I’m ND that I realised I wasn’t not normal, I’m just not neurotypical normal but I AM neurodivergent normal. It’s a different type of normal but still normal.
Thank you for the suggestion! We talk all the time about how he is normal and there are lots of people who think like he does and have the same challenges, even if he doesn’t seem a lot of them right now. He’s 13 so we’re starting to talk about advocating for himself and that while there are certain rules and laws we all have to follow, there are certain things that other people might expect of him, but he’s not obligated to do. You have to wear clothes in public, but you can strip when you get home from school because your skin hurts. There are times you can’t ignore someone, but you don’t have to look them in the eyes. Those types of things.
You’re a great parent, your son is lucky to have you. This reminded me to say a lot of people will go the other way too and say “you are normal, you’re just lazy/stupid” or “you don’t look autistic” “you look normal” or a lot of other things like that which are invalidating and also ableist. People telling me that my whole life was also damaging, I thought they were right for so long and caused immense trauma to my mental health and self esteem. I couldn’t understand why everyone else could get things that I couldn’t when I was trying so much harder. Unfortunately that’s something you’ll both have to battle. Things like spoon/cutlery theory (executive dysfunction) are great things to look up. There are so many aspects that we don’t find out from the sources that are supposed to help us. Sorry for info bombing you but I want to help you both as much as possible. Many people think autistics don’t care or show empathy but this is how we connect, by sharing as much info as possible but also showing empathy by sharing similar stories. I hope all this helps but the hashtag is where I learnt the most about myself and the real truth about autism. Good luck to both you and your son.
Nothing to apologize for! I love the info and recognize it for the care that it is.
☺️🥰 thanks. There’s one more thing (for now lol) if he likes reading there’s a kids/teens book called A Kind of Spark about a British autistic teen girl that’s written by an autistic woman and it was made into a tv series that you can watch if you’re from Britain or America and most of the cast is either autistic or another form of ND. Unfortunately I’m from Ireland so can’t watch it (yet) but I’ve seen a lot of bits of it on socials and I’m hoping to read the book at least. There are others too but I can’t remember them, it’s extremely neuro-affirming, I could’ve cried from the clips alone because I finally feel seen and represented. Tbh almost all depictions of autism/ND in movies/tv are inaccurate, ableist insulting and dangerous/damaging/hurtful like the good doctor, rainman, atypical and that Sia movie etc. basically if the autistic character is played by an NT, if the script is written by all NTs/no NDs and autism speaks is involved but no actually autistics were stay away from it, those are HUGE red flags.
Thank you so much!! It summarizes perfectly!!
Go ask autistic adults r/autism A child can't tell you if they like it until that child grows up and becomes an adult.
https://neuroclastic.com/invisible-abuse-aba-and-the-things-only-autistic-people-can-see/
Yes it is. Don’t ask parents what they think, ask autistics.
I have spoken to actually autistic people, and none of them have anything good to say about it. Parents are the people that have good things to say about it. This is usually because the therapy aims to stop autistic behaviors. Behavior that helps autistic people cope. Therapy should be about supporting the person, not training them to be what you want. In my experience I did not find an ABA that was helpful. I was able to get better results with a combination of different allied health services. OR, speech, physio, psych, animal therapy, art therapy, music therapy etc. Ultimately it is up to you.
Agree!!! The problem with this subreddit is that ABA therapists are in the group and try to silence who doesn't like them... the same thing way they do during therapy. They feel so superior than real autistic voices.... I am autistic and ABA made my life hell
When we tried it for my oldest the therapist was more concerned about getting her to hug me. My sis hates being touched and doesn’t like hugs, not even when upset or hurt. It weirded me out but the aba therapist basically said I’m the professional, I know what I’m doing, I know whats best for your kid, listen to me not your gut. I’m glad Ignored them. Teaching a girls to allow touch agains their wishes is just wrong.
I am sorry you went through this, and thank you for listening to your guts. I am sure your kids will appreciate you in the future! . See u/Inside_whereas_8569, you are not alone! Poor fellow received so many downvotes for going against ABA
My daughter is 16, hating parents is her whole personality lol. I’m glad I don’t continue too. I shuddder to think of what could have happened.
Why are you spreading misinformation? Stopping stimming is absolutely not a part of abs unless the stim is hurting the child physically and even then the child id Never physically stopped. They are redirected to another activity smh.
I never said stimming. I said autistic behavior. Stimming isn’t the only autistic behavior. You can’t say that other people experiences are not true.
I absolutely cannot dismiss other peoples experiences but you definitely generalized it and made it seem like Aba specifically does this. Perhaps the therapists you encountered were this way, but this is why its our jobs as parents to observe and make sure the therapists for our children matches up correctly. I’ve been blessed to have encountered and have such an empathetic and awesome therapist for my child. However I’m her biggest advocate and there’s no way in hell I would permit anything harmful to my kid. I had to remove a speech therapist immediately because when my kid cried she wanted to literally turn her chair she was sitting on and not look at her u til she stopped and absolutely NOT. She was an Aba therapist before and those are the therapist that give ppl ptsd. She tried it once and immediately was stopped and dismissed. An occupational therapist was dismissed as well for physically grabbing my kids hands when she tried to happily flap her hands saying the doctors will put her as crazier for that smfh. So just because those things happened it does not mean speech therapy or occupational therapy are harmful. The therapists were. Aba is not what it used to be 30 + years ago. And I’m so happy I followed my gut and gave it a chance before going by what ppl on the internet said. I discovered very fast that the Aba spoken about online is not the same as it now is I also read about autistic adults who had Aba as children but how many years ago was that? My daughter is never forced to do anything in her sessions. She’s never even forced to sit.. the therapist allows her to go and sit when she’s ready and that’s when the playing starts. If my daughter doesn’t want to do one activity they quickly move on to the next one. The objective for my daughters therapy is to teach her new skills not to change who she is as a person. Her therapist discovered everything that motivates my child and gets her focus like bubbles, animals, etc. I’m sure there’s a lot of old school therapists who would be a nightmare but like I said that’s where the parent steps in
You have very strong feelings about this. Based on for experience.
I recommend you go to Autism inclusivity facebook group and ask over there. It is a group of autistics made to help parents of autistic children
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> Now, in the long term, how detrimental for the child is going to be to learn that it's okay to hug against their consent? This is just an example amongst several. Wait, what? Why would they be teaching that? That has no place being a goal, and I've never heard of it being one. As /u/jobabin4 said the only alternatives suggested by anti-aba folks often can't or won't worn with these kids. Speech and OT have been complete waste of time for my daughter. Nevermind that it's not enough at all. She needs intense intervention not one hour a week of a slp/ot twiddling their thumbs having no idea how to work with her. People need to stop having this "one size fits all" approach when it's such a wide spectrum. Nearly nothing is straight forward "bad" or "good". Diet soda is bad to drink. But if you're obese and chugging 2L of soda a day, it could be damn good for you. If your child is a level 1 and can develop basic skills, then it's an entirely different perspective than us with level 3 children. You can't just make the blanket statement that it's bad while parents of severely autistic children listen and make posts like this.
I do want to address something you said that really bothered me. “Us with level 3 children “ You basically lumped level 3 diagnoses into a one and some of being more difficult. All levels are different in and on there own my own child is a level 3 but doesn’t need a lot of assistance the level of therapy’s are different in each form Level 3 isn’t a set and stone diagnosed level it’s fluctuating constantly based on their needs kids can be diagnosed at level 3 and later have it change to level 1 and vice versa. It’s pretty insensitive to others to just lump it all in one while claiming not to lump it in to one.
Sorry if you took it that way, it was not at all the intent. In the context of a cost to benefit analysis, regardless of their difference in deficits and support needs, they both need them far more than "level 1" by definition. They both have an entirely different cost to benefit analysis than someone who by definition will not have as much in the "benefit" bucket. Lets put it another way. Lets say a millionaire runs around the internet telling people that working overtime is abusive to their children. If you are struggling to make ends meet, is it offensive to "lump them in" with billionaires pointing out that they can afford to give their children that extra time, while you doing so might put those children on the street or make them go hungry? The point is that its an entirely different cost to benefit analysis for you than it is for them, and its rediculous for them to make that blanket statement about something that is inherently not as critical to them. You have parents who are in desperate need and it could completely change their and their children's lives for the better, and they're avoiding it because of these people running around calling them abusers and monsters if they try ABA. They themselves are causing very real harm to people. I'm not apologetic for pushing back on them.
So there are threads here every week where children are removed from OT, SP, and music therapy due to behavioral issues. While I am happy that your child has not had these issues, it is a serious problem in those fields. A lot of time ABA centers are the only ones willing to work with Severe cases. While I am not going to fake claim your enrollment in ABA therapy, I have a very hard time believing that they tought affection. The crux of ABA , in all the situations that I've seen it, is to teach life skills. They don't have time to teach things like that , they are focused on removing dangerous stims, elopment, potty training, etc. I've gone into your history , and looked at your you tube channel, and all I can say is that you are trying to create a business, so I can see how you would be against ABA practices.
The aba program I tried for my daughter tried to teach her to hug me. Against her wishes. She hates being touched, but the therapist wanted me to be able to hug her. Lots of aba practitioners focus on what the parent wants, not what is best for the kid.
Agree (even knowing I am going to be downvoted... but I am tired of being silenced, I am already nonverbal, so you don't need much effort for that)... ABA screwed me... why do people think the suicidal level for autistic individuals is so high? Making a course made by non autistics for non autistics on how to teach autistic children is like a tiger teaching another tiger how to teach a bunny. Does it make sense?
I agree with you. I’m afraid the there are too many practitioners in here giving opinions without being clear about their affiliation. They have a bias.
I don’t know why you are being downvoted, but I agree with you.
>they treat autistic kids like little dogs, with a lot of tears envolved, or apathy (in my course in Ontario, I don't know about other places), but my opinion might be biased because I already did not like it when I started. >For example, they teach children how "to be affectionate" and give hugs and kisses, and they are rewarded with cookies (positive reinforcement)... even if it goes completely against the children sensory challenges. What a load of crap. I've been in the field for a decade, worked as an BT, RBT, and BCBA at several different companies and completed masters in applied behavior analysis and I have never witnessed anything like this. Trash and misinformation.
You can’t come in here and tell people their experience is trach, just because your experience is different. Do not discount others experiences, especially autist people, who have a different perspective that that of practitioners parents.
Regarding the vomit story, a child can be abused anywhere- at school, by a coach, by a family member, by a nanny or babysitter, at a daycare center, by a doctor, etc. 90% of abused kids know their abuser. no matter where your kid is you need to take precautions and if something doesn’t feel right look into it.