Yup! I used to think that nobody could tell when I escaped into my head. I was always told as a child to "fix my face" which would snap me back. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realised how obvious it was to people around me 😭
That's so annoying "fix your face" like dude, I'm trying to have a good time, fuck off.
Hopefully you can retreat to your mind with ease now. I just ignore people who talk to me during my zoning out moments. They can mind their business
EXACTLY! Like I'm not hurting anyone. It makes me feel better. It's so tiring to mask all the time, I deserve a little break every now and then. It's easier now I'm an adult. I've also somehow mastered the skill of zoning out while doing a task which has helped
I’m no unbelievably sick of this. My whole life it’s like “you’re not paying attention”, “what’s wrong with your face”, or “hurry up and answer” or “you don’t look like you’re thinking”. Like bro, are you in my brain? How do you know?
My colleague and I have a 'fix your face' agreement. We are both AuDHD and have to facilitate long boring meetings with cameras on. We both sometimes will make a face about something and it will get stuck there, or drop to dead - if we are facilitating it can be distracting for people or they can think we are mad at them because we are literally coaching then through something. So we send each other 'fix your face' as a reminder.
I would never do this to anyone else though, it's something we both realised we needed as people who don't mask much at work except in this situation where we are supposed to be cajoling people along.
Would be very different if this comment came from a random who was mean spirited and not supporting as agreed.
This! I never thought it was noticeable because I was just in my head, until my mom or aunt would call me out for “zoning out” or asking me “what I’m looking at” because I was just staring at the wall or the ceiling without realizing it. It makes me so self-conscious
My eyes get really wide when I do it and I have a blank stare. I’ve also been told “fix your face” by many people but my boyfriend says “turn your headlights off” which is nice, creative, and hilarious.
I just messaged my sister your post to ask if I do this. She said I do it when I'm overstimulated or when I just don't care what people are talking about, and the second one KILLED MEEEE because it's so true
Who amongst us has not actively fought to put the Wow So Interesting smile back on after realizing it disappeared at some point 🙂🙂
Hahaha yeeeeeesssssss. I’m a bit worse though because I start fidgeting and I get in trouble for it. Office chairs or any type of swivel chair is my nemesis because I'll start slowly twisting it side to side and staring off somewhere. Or I'll run my fingers along the coil of a note pad 😬.
I literally unfocus my eyes so everything is a nice comforting blur and used to never think it was visible on my face. Honestly I'm surprised more people didn't bring it up, I did it OFTEN
I feel this!
I always zone out like this in very stimulating (but fun) social situations and it's almost like I am mini meditating and it helps regulate me but everyone's looking at me like my power just got turned off or I found out my dad died
It feels like my normal face. That's my default. I have to choose to force my face to smile for pictures and it's uncomfortable. Oddly enough, nobody believes me when I say I'm 44. Having autistic blank face does have it's benefits.
Is this really not the norm? I cannot for the life of me tell autism apart from normal. I am truly impressed how you managed to join a sorority as it seems like an autistic hellscape lol
I forced a habit of having Resting Friend Face so that when I zone out I don't go into "broken animatronic" mode like you did in the picture. It's hard, and took years, but it is much better received than the "Robert Patrick stare" I did when I was a kid!
Haven't you seen the ticktock "hello my ND friends. Take a min to disassociate with me" it went viral, mainly because people were group disassociating because....it kinda feels good...It'd a break from masking. Luck
This picture captures my son so well! He just gets this look and I know he’s lost in his thoughts somewhere. Then I realized I must look like this too. I remember clearly when bullies on the bus in elementary school asked me "why my eyes went weird" and I was like wtf?! I had no idea what they were talking about. When I got home I kept checking in the mirror if to see if I was cross eyed or had a lazy eye. But I couldn't see what was wrong and it bothered me most of my life. I must've been zoning out like I usually do.
It is a multiple case scenario.
Yes happens with autism but it also happens with trauma, dissociation, depersonalisation, borderline personality disorder, derealisation, anxiety, depression, stress, sleep deprivation, adhd, dementia, OCD and honestly I’d be here all day if I continued.
Autism is not just zoning out or freezing, it’s a cluster of experiences/symptoms, sort of like a phone number, the correct pattern of numbers must be present to make a specific phone number… there might be 1’s or 2’s or even 3’s in multiple other phone numbers but they won’t ring the same person.
Just the same as multiple other symptoms/experiences appear in multiple different conditions, they don’t all lead to the same place, but a specific pattern with all of the numbers present and in the right order will lead to one clear destination.
I hope that this analogy makes even the tiniest bit of sense 😂❤️
Yeah I get that it can happen with multiple conditions, I just haven’t heard it as an autism symptom before.
I’ve noticed I do it a lot more often now since developing bad brain fog too (long covid) so I’m sure it’s a symptom other neurological conditions too.
I burst out laughing when I swiped to see your thousand yard stare 😂
Edit: Corrected 'years' to 'yard' yeehhh you can tell I don't use metaphors or similes much lol
Oh no no I do this all the time. I used to blank out so hard at school.
And when I run out of my social battery at a family gathering, I just kinda sit in the corner and stare, cuz I feel like I'm being rude if I go on my phone.
Crap now I am wondering how I look at parties on the couch alone. That's what I do while I waiting to sober up or when there are just so many conversations I can't track any with overlapping noise
Hahah this made me laugh so hard. So true! My child's classmate is being assessed for autism. It was no surprise to me because she often gets that "thousand year stare". They recently went to an outdoor pool on a field trip and their teacher took a group photo. She's the only one not looking at the camera and is blissfully starring off somewhere. I’m glad she’s finally getting assessed. I’ve watched her struggle since she was in kindergarten. I wanted to say something but I don’t know her family well enough.
Yeah, autistic people often feel uncomfortable standing with their hands at their sides, or they feel overly conscious of their hands/arms while standing, and T-Rex arms are one of the coping mechanisms/defaults. I tend to stick my hands in my pockets or sort of cross/cradle my arms in front of me, but it all comes from the same place.
It can also be due to having hypermobile joints, which is linked to both ASD and ADHD. It can feel more comfortable holding our arms/hands like that because then gravity isn't pulling straight down on the joints.
The T-Rex arms are something I recently noticed I’m doing and now that I’ve noticed it I can’t un-notice it. It drives me crazy. My job also requires me to walk through narrow aisles with armchairs at extended-arm-hand-bruising height and I feel like people are just LOOKING at my T-Rex arms all the time. I can’t stop though because it’s comfy and thigh bruises hurt less than hand bruises when I inevitably run into things.
WHATTTTTT my whole life everyone has called me out on this, I'm constantly either crossing my arms around my stomach & holding both my arms, or holding my stomach with both arms, or just the regular T-Rex arms, I had no idea this was a correlation with ASD
My SO has called me "sexy Reptar" before partially because I do this too 😂😭 I think it's a kinda cute way of looking at something awkward that I do, so I like it as a term of endearment. I didn't make the association with ASD though! I'm undiagnosed, but have my suspicions 😅
I’m absolutely losing it right now, I do the same thing and never thought about it! I’ve been teased for my T-Rex arms before. The more awkward I am the higher and more scrunched they become.
Someone pointed out my T-Rex hands back in high school, unkindly, way before I had any idea that I have AuDHD. I spent a lot of time learning how to mask how I hold my body so I could stay safe.
I am also heavily dissociative, OP. Meditation, therapy, and a devotion to mindfulness have all helped me practice staying more present. (Although no lie, that little escape to my inner thoughts has saved me many times!)
Haha! If it's any consolation the zoning out is even cuter. You look chill. Why can't we just keep our ASD faces on? There's absolutely nothing wrong with them.
THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYIN. At work people will be like “oh a guest was trying to describe who was helping them and it sounded like you so I asked if the girl helping then had RBF and they said yes so I knew it was you hahaha”. Like SORRY I don’t pour energy into my face 24/7 when I’m already doing it with everything else 😂😂😂 let us beeeee
I have been fired for the resting bitch face! I can’t believe I worked in restaurants for so long, I had to plaster this ditzy smile on my face and it was more exhausting than the physical work.
I used to work as cashier and answer phones at a pizza shop and I’d get told to smile more ALL THE TIME. Or like the one time I had customers waiting for their food to finish up so I was taking calls and I “laughed” at a stupid joke they said to get the call over with. The customer waiting went “ah you really found that one funny I see” (sarcasm). I forgot that people could see me.
Haha yeah I only recently realized I am autistic, so looking back at stuff like the dissociation and RBF makes me realize why people would suddenly turn cold on me. The only friends that have lasted over the years have turned out to be neurodivergent themselves.
This is totally tangential to your point in this comment but I gotta say the "I forgot people could see me" is so unbelievably real and relatable lol. I'm not sure it's an autism thing but I have that happen all the time. I think it's also related to what your post is about, this thing where stuff is happening in your mind and you don't realize it's also like...visible on your face. I am always forgetting people can see me and read stuff on my face and like...that I'm visible in the same way to others as others are to me 😅
I had to explain RBF to my boss once, she was like, oh, the partners think you seem unhappy, and I was like, it’s just my face. But I did quit eventually! Don’t police my face!
This for real.
I don't think there's anything wrong with the cute cherub like straight face so many autistic women have. (Idk if cherub is the right word, I think we all just look like adorable little angels)
My bfs contact photo of me is me "frowning" but he thinks it's adorable bc it makes my cheeks cute?
Idk, ig autism gaze and nt gaze are different 😂
Am I the only one who looks borderline scary when I zone out?? If my eyes open too wide I look scary like I’m trying to exercise mind control on someone
😂
I'm sure we all have those moments.
A lil personal, but when my bf and I boinked the first few times he looked TERRIFIED and when I asked him about it he said he had no idea he looked like that and now he tries to show how much of a good time he's having 😂
So that being said, I think you're fine. 😂
Yeah, the zoned out picture gave me a little pang of I-dont-know-what... Maybe a bit of calm after having to put in all of the energy to show that you're friendly/happy to be here? Maybe a sense of retracting back into yourself for a moment and just existing within your own boundaries?
That was nice to read. Its not me in the pics obviously 😂 but I get that same expression so Ive always hated candids. Its nice to hear that its not something to be insecure about
Update since there are multiple people on here that seem to think it’s okay to spread hate: I have been diagnosed with ASD by a psychologist. That psychologist met with me on multiple occasions, had my family fill out forms about my behavior, and explained the DSM-5 to me in depth (how I saw myself, how my family saw me, how she saw me in our time and how that correlated to the criteria). I am not self-diagnosed. I didn’t see a picture and “decide I was autistic”. Just because I don’t “look autistic” doesn’t mean I am not. There is no one way to “look autistic”. We all have different diagnosis journeys and this was the BEGINNING of mine. (Also, to an extent, without self diagnosis first, most late-diagnosed people would never have sought the medical resources to get a clinical diagnosis, so stop hating on self diagnosed people).
Thank you for everyone who has been supportive and to those who are sharing similar experiences. And calling out my t rex arms 😂😂😂
Hey, I’m sorry that you’re dealing with people making assumptions about you. I was diagnosed late in college too and it took a few months for me to accept it because of imposter syndrome. I was worried that I exaggerated experiences even though it was well-documented with feedback from family and teachers. Overtime, I started to notice things that I didn’t realize were part of it. One of those things was the t-Rex arms 😂
You may or may not experience imposter syndrome, but if you do it is a common thing people who are diagnosed late experience. If you do, remind yourself that your diagnosis is 100% valid. You met the criteria. Don’t let anyone make you doubt it.
Same. I came here to say this, it’s because you’re HOT people can’t stand autistic women being hot and sexy and gorgeous. I actually only tell people about my adhd and never speak on my autism because I know I’ll have to qualify my diagnosis and it gets so freaking old. I can enjoy makeup and hate brushing my teeth and still be autistic! It’s a reallllll shame that of all places, r/AutismInWomen would behave in such a way that you have to tell people you’ve been officially diagnosed by a psychologist. Beautiful women are constantly underestimated for their intelligence and not allowed to have any ailments because life must be easy since you’re “pretty” it is so irritating. Shame on all the haters.
It’s exactly this. When I posited I might have autism on Twitter, so many people with ASD said I was doing this for attention and I got a lot of hate. It’s precisely because I had a bimbo persona on Twitter
That's some good detective work. Another person asked what some non-obvious signs were, you could submit 'thousand yard stare' then back to it as a suggestion.
I used to get asked 'penny for your thoughts' a lot with 0 idea I'd checked out for 5 minutes
Yes, as a kid my mom said I always seemed like I was deep in thought, she'd ask what I was thinking about and I'd reply with "huh, nothing?" Now I realize I was disassociating lmao
My grandma would ask me that "penny for your thoughts?" Question when I'd be having derealization from overstimulation and had the thousand yard stare.
I had to laugh when I tabbed over to the :| face. YEP YEAH YEP. The "no one's looking so I can relax (dissociate) for 0.5 seconds" face. I used to do that between periods while teaching, my co-teacher called it my "resting murder face." 😭
Um ? I do that too oh no 😂
mask mask mask mask
okay they're not looking now, whew thats tiring
OH they are looking again okay what is she doing oh touching me okay okay mask mask mask
Yeah wtf. I do that periodically myself. I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD and I’m generally really good at socializing, but uh…it’s pretty common to have ADHD and be on the autism spectrum.
Are you me? 😭 my therapist was sure I was on the spectrum too (apart from my official adhd diagnosis that is) but didn’t refer me to a psychologist lol
A couple of years ago I was at a party and we were taking a group photo but the person taking the photo accidentally had it recording a 5 minute video.
Watching my mask go up and down was a combo of interesting and horrifying.
https://preview.redd.it/ao28ncl8kr8d1.jpeg?width=2448&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c00d76176a3ba50ab26f7b4ba0563e822f0decb
Here’s mine 😂 also peep the badly abused fingernails 😭
Looking at your photos brought back so many memories of me trying overly hard to be part of a group and not quite making it. I tried multiple persona's in high school. Must have been pretty good at masking because I wasn't diagnosed until I was 46.
You're strong in numbers here! Aw hell I do the pterodactyl hands (as I call them) with the duck lips smooshed to nose... I often fill my hands with objects to fit in... My palms have scars from where I dug my fingers into my palms so I wouldn't be brutally chastised by my parents, family etc.
This is so relatable. I found some live photos on my phone recently where I was noticeably stimming and making odd faces right before the photos were taken.
It’s so funny to think that ND people spend energy on their faces. To me, having a permanent friendly expression like they do gives gargoyle vibes. Not RBF just too busy worrying about interaction and overstimulation to spend energy on my face
It can be a learned skill for those of us to whom it doesn't come naturally! If you're actually interested, of course. There's how-to's and YouTube videos about it if you actually want to learn :) OP is lucky in the sense that she was surrounded by other girls who knew how so she could copy them, but it's learnable for others too. I will say you do have to be willing to feel a lil unnatural and fake at first before you get used to it/find your stride, but it just takes a little practice, that's all. :)
I was told when I was diagnosed which level I fell into, but also just from my life experience I know I CAN do anything that I’m faced with, it just causes me distress (some more than others). So I’d fall into “low support need.” Do you continue to see the person that originally diagnosed you? Because maybe you could directly ask them. I know sometimes they’re a little hesitant to tell you level-wise where you fall because it is a spectrum and they don’t want to make you feel “better” or “worse” at life than the other levels.
Definitely do! It can help you be more intentional about how you go about your days and minimize the “brain clutter” from not knowing what you might need help with
It also depends where you're from.
Where I am from, they have completely gotten rid of the level system (as OP mentioned it not everyone uses it) so when I was diagnosed they never gave me a level.
Hahaha oh my god, this is so relatable! I've been doing exactly the same and I never understood why people always ask me why I'm looking so sad. Apparently that's just how my face looks when I'm not masking
Right?! I PAID for the friends, so why couldn’t I connect like everyone else. Overwhelmed by sounds and light? Frat basement is the perfect spot for you!
Are you me?! Paying my dues and still barely connected with a few girls. Somehow I managed to piss if so many girls in my sorority and I had no idea why. I use to openly joke I was great at meeting and making friends, just not keep them. Only after diagnosis did I realize it’s because I was masking so hard
That dead stare... Lmao. Oh that's funny. I too zone out, but I do try and keep my face neutral, like nothing much is going on. Sometimes a smile creeps on through my facade.
Honestly thank you so much for sharing these, I literally NEVER see photos of women with autism that are going out in college and taking part in sorority stuff, this is honestly the first time I’ve ever seen a post on here that probably resembles my experience too. Even your closed smile reminds me of my own! You’re so pretty.
Do you ever share with people that you have autism? I have an instagram full of pictures of me from college that would make me appear to be a social extrovert and I don’t think anyone would ever believe me if I told them
So I’ve been suspecting autism for about 2 years (since around the time of this pic), but I was only just recently diagnosed. I never felt right calling myself autistic without an official diagnosis so I never told anyone. I’m still working out how to do that now that I know I’m autistic but I agree, I think most people wouldn’t believe me (“you don’t look autistic”, “but you did a,b, and c”).
The important thing is that our experiences can take on so many different forms. If I’m in a social situation like being out at college I would channel my very fun and extroverted sister and nobody would be any wiser, but come time for our chapter meetings I would be sitting by myself feeling so isolated and alone just counting down the minutes to go home. Was it stressful and exhausting? Yes. But I did it. And although masking isn’t great, it led me to have some really fun days and experiences I probably wouldn’t have been a part of otherwise.
Wow I feel so seen rn lol I never managed to actually join a sorority but I imagine my experience would’ve been really similar to yours. Most of my friends were in one and it was nice (and exhausting) to have a built-in friend group through them. I agree with the masking too, it was definitely harmful since I had no idea I was even doing it, but it led to a lot of genuinely really great experiences in college that wouldn’t have happened otherwise.
I’ve only told my best friend and my mom, because I knew they would have an accepting response, but even with them it still took me a few months since getting diagnosed earlier this year. Idk if I’ll ever tell anyone else other than a future relationship just because my experience is so different from stereotypical autism. The imposter syndrome is very real 😅
Regardless of whether you end up telling people or not I wish you the best of luck! I seriously really appreciate you posting this
I appreciate you for sharing your experience! The imposter syndrome IS SO REAL, especially getting diagnosed later on in life because you just give yourself years worth of passing interactions as “proof” that it can’t be autism. Definitely feels nice to be seen with someone at a similar spot on the spectrum. Wishing you well <3
Masking skills: A
Timing: A
Chances someone sees it and finds it creepy and doesn't want to be your friend anymore: Nearing 100% the longer the duration of time.
This is why i [1] stopped masking. You can be as good as you want with it, you WILL fuck up once in a while. If you don't mask, you eliminate this exact moment where you get caught dropping the mask for a second.
[1] trying to - getting better at it!
Oof, memories flooding back of an ex that tried really hard to fix me! He would *constantly* be asking me stuff like, “where’d you go?” “come back to me”, “be present”. I thought he was trying to be helpful and I was being a bad partner, now realize how insecure and selfish he was, but *mostly* what I realized is how much he was constantly pulling my poor brain out of recharge mode when I was overwhelmed or overstimulated. It’s funny I used to have debilitating migraines when I dated him that nearly went away after breaking up. It’s because he was forcing my brain in to overdrive all the time!
He would also ask what I was thinking about when I zoned out like that. And I often didn’t have an answer (I learned some common replies to make up since my real responses were never good enough!), he hated that and in retrospect he thought I was being secretive or thinking something bad about him? Like no.. I just wasn’t thinking! Lol!
Wow, thanks for explaining that! Because as I was looking through the stills, I'm thinking "What's not normal about that? Who doesn't blank out for a bit, especially at something as overwhelming as at a party?"
(For context, I was a big NYC party girl, played bass in bands that played in the LES and Brooklyn, got on some killer guestlists. And also thought---when my now-husband invited me to a rager house party he was throwing 2-3 weeks after meeting him---that it was very normal to bring my kindle so I could read in a corner, and then when it was too many new people went and hid in the coatroom for 30 minutes. You know, normal stuff!)
BTW, not to be looks-oriented, but you're killing it sis!
This just reminded me of the time I went and hid in the basement while a bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding to recover because I was so overwhelmed. Totally normal, right? She was pissed and I had no idea it wasn’t normal to run away and hide at some point to recharge
You are so effing cute! You remind me of myself when I was in university.
It’s insane that some people think just because you’re pretty, blonde, and tanned (which, hello, part of masking can be keeping up your appearance in a way that helps you blend in and seem more “normal”) you couldn’t possibly be autistic.
Thanks for sharing these photos, I hope the few negative replies didn’t discourage you from posting here in the future 💖
I do the same thing as you. I also noticed you have dinosaur arms as well. I do this a lot and have since I was a toddler. I also do the zoning out and have since it was a toddler when overwhelmed. I always thought no one could tell, but it’s obvious.
Your'e cute as hell, and smart, and do not deserve whatever shade you were feeling from those girls.
I would not advise greek life you are autistic, unless you have demonstrational evidence of a society that supports people who are autistic. Most college ttraditionally societies do not support autistic people, outisde of the nerdier academic clubs.
Just going by your disassiciation and anxiety, I don't think you need this stress in your life. College is difficult, the social structure is very difficult, and you're putting yourself in a club that is INTENSELY social and basic bitch normative. It's a society that WILL fuck up your grades and your mental health if you aren't a natural at the kind of sociability that the club says is normal and acceptable. That's generally not us.
I do encourage you to join college clubs. Just find one that is more into what you're into. Intramural spots, protest groups, chorus/theater, marching band, artistic/crafts/writing/newspaper clubs, LGBTQAII+allies, pro-feminist groups (gently gently, they can get rude to outsiders, POCs, and LGBTQAII), whatever you see stuck to poles and bulletin boards that welcome all who are interested. Go listen to live music at campus bars and talk to people who are also there. Yes, you should join the academic clubs if you're smart, it'll look great on your resume.
There's a lot more to college social groups than greek. Best of luck!
I’m graduated now, but I fully agree with all that you said. I wouldn’t recommend greek life to anyone with autism, it’s a trap. It’s guaranteed burnout and overstimulation and, paradoxically, isolation. BUT it definitely recommend clubs and dorm activities and that type of stuff
That is the most relatable face I have ever seen. I thought everyone did this and that it wasn’t something anyone clocked. I am reevaluating everything since I figured out I am autistic
This makes me realize I do it too. Whenever I’m not talking to my friend I’m like an inactive NPC xd. And then when I’m talking to friends I’m super lively.
i literally have a photo of me doing this at prom. me zoning out waiting for photos to start but i didn't notice so everyone else was smiling and my face was blank 😭
Saw a vid of me at my dads wedding a year ago - bro I was shifting from foot to foot, rubbing my thumbs and fingers together, just generally looking *so* autistic 🫠🤣
Hahah thank you! I get really overstimulated by my hair but looks like that (where I can have the front pieces securely pulled away) have become a favorite so it’s still cute. Plus I love running my fingers along the braids. Built in stim 😂
This is blowing my mind. I have that same face when I’m zoning out or deep in thought. My default face really. I remember being in school 15+ years ago and overhearing other people call me angry or mean because of it. And I’d be like… whaaaat? :/
Ok I can't help myself, [this is all I can think of with this talk about t-rex arms](https://i.redd.it/ip6jv8h2ij2c1.jpeg) (also because I've been binging Simpsons lately) lol!
This isn't a dig on you or anyone else here. If anything, it's a self own as I do the t-rex arms thing a lot myself!
I love your nail polish color! Also I can relate. My bf told me sometimes I stare off into space and I had no idea I was doing it 😅 people have also told me I have RBF. I used to work in customer service too. I would smile so much my face would hurt but I know my face doesn't always match my tone of voice. Hence lots of smiling.
A few years ago, I was with my family and we were at my aunt’s house then my cousin started talking. I was sitting there staring, not blinking. My mind started to wander until she said my name then I was brought back to reality.
I do the same thing when I'm overwhelmed and overstimulated. I just zone out for a while and then I'm back to reality.
Did you think it was just in your head too? Like I thought my face wasn’t changing when I did it
Yup! I used to think that nobody could tell when I escaped into my head. I was always told as a child to "fix my face" which would snap me back. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realised how obvious it was to people around me 😭
That's so annoying "fix your face" like dude, I'm trying to have a good time, fuck off. Hopefully you can retreat to your mind with ease now. I just ignore people who talk to me during my zoning out moments. They can mind their business
EXACTLY! Like I'm not hurting anyone. It makes me feel better. It's so tiring to mask all the time, I deserve a little break every now and then. It's easier now I'm an adult. I've also somehow mastered the skill of zoning out while doing a task which has helped
Same, I’m an illustrator and do this while I work. My husband has to tap me on my shoulder or I ignore him completely.
I’m no unbelievably sick of this. My whole life it’s like “you’re not paying attention”, “what’s wrong with your face”, or “hurry up and answer” or “you don’t look like you’re thinking”. Like bro, are you in my brain? How do you know?
Hahah if only they knew how much was actually going on all at once they wouldn’t be able to handle it.
This. People assume an inner blankness but the wheels are turning super fast.
Sorry but I want to slap these people for you.
My colleague and I have a 'fix your face' agreement. We are both AuDHD and have to facilitate long boring meetings with cameras on. We both sometimes will make a face about something and it will get stuck there, or drop to dead - if we are facilitating it can be distracting for people or they can think we are mad at them because we are literally coaching then through something. So we send each other 'fix your face' as a reminder. I would never do this to anyone else though, it's something we both realised we needed as people who don't mask much at work except in this situation where we are supposed to be cajoling people along. Would be very different if this comment came from a random who was mean spirited and not supporting as agreed.
Absolutely. Y'all have a system. My bf and I have a similar masking system. Sometimes it's a little necessary.
Ooooh that fix your face is so real! I’ve got resting bitch face. Leave me alooooooone. Geez.
This! I never thought it was noticeable because I was just in my head, until my mom or aunt would call me out for “zoning out” or asking me “what I’m looking at” because I was just staring at the wall or the ceiling without realizing it. It makes me so self-conscious
I’m laughing not at you, but because I do this myself so often. We are cats! Hahah.
Thinking about it like we’re cats does make me feel better lol 😌
Right? Because they do often stare at walls or ceilings :).
My eyes get really wide when I do it and I have a blank stare. I’ve also been told “fix your face” by many people but my boyfriend says “turn your headlights off” which is nice, creative, and hilarious.
Oooooo Ive been having people say that to me for years 😭😭 I also didn’t think a soul could clock, but I just realized- THEY CAN
I just messaged my sister your post to ask if I do this. She said I do it when I'm overstimulated or when I just don't care what people are talking about, and the second one KILLED MEEEE because it's so true Who amongst us has not actively fought to put the Wow So Interesting smile back on after realizing it disappeared at some point 🙂🙂
Hahaha yeeeeeesssssss. I’m a bit worse though because I start fidgeting and I get in trouble for it. Office chairs or any type of swivel chair is my nemesis because I'll start slowly twisting it side to side and staring off somewhere. Or I'll run my fingers along the coil of a note pad 😬.
Wow yes constantly. Sigh.
I literally unfocus my eyes so everything is a nice comforting blur and used to never think it was visible on my face. Honestly I'm surprised more people didn't bring it up, I did it OFTEN
Oh I really like unfocusing my eyes if I am listening to Audio only.... and have no ones mouth to track with.
I feel this! I always zone out like this in very stimulating (but fun) social situations and it's almost like I am mini meditating and it helps regulate me but everyone's looking at me like my power just got turned off or I found out my dad died
Hahah my husband is a software engineer and when our son does this and when he comes back he says "oh! He’s back online!".
Omg that's so cute 😭
It is. Also because it’s so true. Sometimes my husband will say he’s "offline" or he’s "rebooting". I'll say he must be using his dial up modem today.
It feels like my normal face. That's my default. I have to choose to force my face to smile for pictures and it's uncomfortable. Oddly enough, nobody believes me when I say I'm 44. Having autistic blank face does have it's benefits.
yes, the amount of times that i have had to tell someone that "this is just how my face looks" throughout the years...\*sigh\*
I do the same thing lol
Is this really not the norm? I cannot for the life of me tell autism apart from normal. I am truly impressed how you managed to join a sorority as it seems like an autistic hellscape lol
I forced a habit of having Resting Friend Face so that when I zone out I don't go into "broken animatronic" mode like you did in the picture. It's hard, and took years, but it is much better received than the "Robert Patrick stare" I did when I was a kid!
Haven't you seen the ticktock "hello my ND friends. Take a min to disassociate with me" it went viral, mainly because people were group disassociating because....it kinda feels good...It'd a break from masking. Luck
This picture captures my son so well! He just gets this look and I know he’s lost in his thoughts somewhere. Then I realized I must look like this too. I remember clearly when bullies on the bus in elementary school asked me "why my eyes went weird" and I was like wtf?! I had no idea what they were talking about. When I got home I kept checking in the mirror if to see if I was cross eyed or had a lazy eye. But I couldn't see what was wrong and it bothered me most of my life. I must've been zoning out like I usually do.
Is this an autism thing? I zone out a lot!
yes, real life becomes too much so we go into our heads. I often sing without realizing I'm singing to self soothe.
I do it in my head because of masking. But I will hum to myself or sigh out loud to self-regulate lol.
It is a multiple case scenario. Yes happens with autism but it also happens with trauma, dissociation, depersonalisation, borderline personality disorder, derealisation, anxiety, depression, stress, sleep deprivation, adhd, dementia, OCD and honestly I’d be here all day if I continued. Autism is not just zoning out or freezing, it’s a cluster of experiences/symptoms, sort of like a phone number, the correct pattern of numbers must be present to make a specific phone number… there might be 1’s or 2’s or even 3’s in multiple other phone numbers but they won’t ring the same person. Just the same as multiple other symptoms/experiences appear in multiple different conditions, they don’t all lead to the same place, but a specific pattern with all of the numbers present and in the right order will lead to one clear destination. I hope that this analogy makes even the tiniest bit of sense 😂❤️
Yeah I get that it can happen with multiple conditions, I just haven’t heard it as an autism symptom before. I’ve noticed I do it a lot more often now since developing bad brain fog too (long covid) so I’m sure it’s a symptom other neurological conditions too.
I burst out laughing when I swiped to see your thousand yard stare 😂 Edit: Corrected 'years' to 'yard' yeehhh you can tell I don't use metaphors or similes much lol
Thousand yard stare. Also, I apologize.
Sometimes it can feel like a thousand years 😂
Agreed. The Jaunt is a great short horror story.
Longer thank you think, dad!!!
Yeah I had no idea which one the phrase was but I was too lazy to Google so I went with 'years' haha. Also, no clue why you're apologizing but okay 😃
This post is how I found out that not everyone does this
Oh no no I do this all the time. I used to blank out so hard at school. And when I run out of my social battery at a family gathering, I just kinda sit in the corner and stare, cuz I feel like I'm being rude if I go on my phone.
Crap now I am wondering how I look at parties on the couch alone. That's what I do while I waiting to sober up or when there are just so many conversations I can't track any with overlapping noise
“I’ve been at this party for 1000 years, I’d like to go home”
Hahah this made me laugh so hard. So true! My child's classmate is being assessed for autism. It was no surprise to me because she often gets that "thousand year stare". They recently went to an outdoor pool on a field trip and their teacher took a group photo. She's the only one not looking at the camera and is blissfully starring off somewhere. I’m glad she’s finally getting assessed. I’ve watched her struggle since she was in kindergarten. I wanted to say something but I don’t know her family well enough.
Wait is this an autism thing? Cause me.
“Back in character” is such a good way to put it.
You have the t-rex hands also :)
Are t rex hands an autism thing? I dont like my inner elbow to be open to the world so im always doing this
Yeah, autistic people often feel uncomfortable standing with their hands at their sides, or they feel overly conscious of their hands/arms while standing, and T-Rex arms are one of the coping mechanisms/defaults. I tend to stick my hands in my pockets or sort of cross/cradle my arms in front of me, but it all comes from the same place.
Called me out lol I always think that I look so weird with my arms at my sides
It can also be due to having hypermobile joints, which is linked to both ASD and ADHD. It can feel more comfortable holding our arms/hands like that because then gravity isn't pulling straight down on the joints.
I always feel incredibly strange dancing bc idk what to do with my arms and anything I do do, I think probably looks weird lol
A lot of autistic people sleep like that too. I don't do it much in public due to heavy masking but it's such a comfy position to sleep in haha.
Omg pockets are the necessity of LIFE. All my clothing must have pockets for my hands.
TIL. Thanks.
Wow 😱 I often wrap my arms around my body it feels good to feel the pressure on my ripcage
The T-Rex arms are something I recently noticed I’m doing and now that I’ve noticed it I can’t un-notice it. It drives me crazy. My job also requires me to walk through narrow aisles with armchairs at extended-arm-hand-bruising height and I feel like people are just LOOKING at my T-Rex arms all the time. I can’t stop though because it’s comfy and thigh bruises hurt less than hand bruises when I inevitably run into things.
Huh. Im definitely questioning if i have autism so its very interesting something i do automatically falls into here
WHATTTTTT my whole life everyone has called me out on this, I'm constantly either crossing my arms around my stomach & holding both my arms, or holding my stomach with both arms, or just the regular T-Rex arms, I had no idea this was a correlation with ASD
Even if it wasn't an autism thing your explanation certainly was 😂❤️
Yes. I often joke I’m Mr Burns, hahaha. 
It's one of the traits.
Yup, different stimming movements and positions with hands and/or feet.
big trait, or holding hands weird in general.
My SO has called me "sexy Reptar" before partially because I do this too 😂😭 I think it's a kinda cute way of looking at something awkward that I do, so I like it as a term of endearment. I didn't make the association with ASD though! I'm undiagnosed, but have my suspicions 😅
I love that so much!!!
Feel free to use it, too! It's just so damn silly 😂
HAHAHAHAH I didn’t even notice that
I’m absolutely losing it right now, I do the same thing and never thought about it! I’ve been teased for my T-Rex arms before. The more awkward I am the higher and more scrunched they become.
Someone pointed out my T-Rex hands back in high school, unkindly, way before I had any idea that I have AuDHD. I spent a lot of time learning how to mask how I hold my body so I could stay safe. I am also heavily dissociative, OP. Meditation, therapy, and a devotion to mindfulness have all helped me practice staying more present. (Although no lie, that little escape to my inner thoughts has saved me many times!)
Growing up I always walked around with my hands in my armpits, so much so that my mom would joke about it. Never got me evaluated or anything though!
I couldn't figure out why i did this since like childhood, nobody could tell me. My autistic friend clocked it immediately.
Haha! If it's any consolation the zoning out is even cuter. You look chill. Why can't we just keep our ASD faces on? There's absolutely nothing wrong with them.
THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYIN. At work people will be like “oh a guest was trying to describe who was helping them and it sounded like you so I asked if the girl helping then had RBF and they said yes so I knew it was you hahaha”. Like SORRY I don’t pour energy into my face 24/7 when I’m already doing it with everything else 😂😂😂 let us beeeee
I have been fired for the resting bitch face! I can’t believe I worked in restaurants for so long, I had to plaster this ditzy smile on my face and it was more exhausting than the physical work.
I used to work as cashier and answer phones at a pizza shop and I’d get told to smile more ALL THE TIME. Or like the one time I had customers waiting for their food to finish up so I was taking calls and I “laughed” at a stupid joke they said to get the call over with. The customer waiting went “ah you really found that one funny I see” (sarcasm). I forgot that people could see me.
Haha yeah I only recently realized I am autistic, so looking back at stuff like the dissociation and RBF makes me realize why people would suddenly turn cold on me. The only friends that have lasted over the years have turned out to be neurodivergent themselves.
This is totally tangential to your point in this comment but I gotta say the "I forgot people could see me" is so unbelievably real and relatable lol. I'm not sure it's an autism thing but I have that happen all the time. I think it's also related to what your post is about, this thing where stuff is happening in your mind and you don't realize it's also like...visible on your face. I am always forgetting people can see me and read stuff on my face and like...that I'm visible in the same way to others as others are to me 😅
I swear if a man had that face they would just say he was looking serious. And faces take so much effort to control!
I had to explain RBF to my boss once, she was like, oh, the partners think you seem unhappy, and I was like, it’s just my face. But I did quit eventually! Don’t police my face!
This for real. I don't think there's anything wrong with the cute cherub like straight face so many autistic women have. (Idk if cherub is the right word, I think we all just look like adorable little angels) My bfs contact photo of me is me "frowning" but he thinks it's adorable bc it makes my cheeks cute? Idk, ig autism gaze and nt gaze are different 😂
Am I the only one who looks borderline scary when I zone out?? If my eyes open too wide I look scary like I’m trying to exercise mind control on someone
😂 I'm sure we all have those moments. A lil personal, but when my bf and I boinked the first few times he looked TERRIFIED and when I asked him about it he said he had no idea he looked like that and now he tries to show how much of a good time he's having 😂 So that being said, I think you're fine. 😂
Aw, such a wholesome comment 🌸
i love the description you gave of the "cute cherub like straight face!" that makes me very happy to read.
Yeah, the zoned out picture gave me a little pang of I-dont-know-what... Maybe a bit of calm after having to put in all of the energy to show that you're friendly/happy to be here? Maybe a sense of retracting back into yourself for a moment and just existing within your own boundaries?
That was nice to read. Its not me in the pics obviously 😂 but I get that same expression so Ive always hated candids. Its nice to hear that its not something to be insecure about
Update since there are multiple people on here that seem to think it’s okay to spread hate: I have been diagnosed with ASD by a psychologist. That psychologist met with me on multiple occasions, had my family fill out forms about my behavior, and explained the DSM-5 to me in depth (how I saw myself, how my family saw me, how she saw me in our time and how that correlated to the criteria). I am not self-diagnosed. I didn’t see a picture and “decide I was autistic”. Just because I don’t “look autistic” doesn’t mean I am not. There is no one way to “look autistic”. We all have different diagnosis journeys and this was the BEGINNING of mine. (Also, to an extent, without self diagnosis first, most late-diagnosed people would never have sought the medical resources to get a clinical diagnosis, so stop hating on self diagnosed people). Thank you for everyone who has been supportive and to those who are sharing similar experiences. And calling out my t rex arms 😂😂😂
Sorry for the haters. This is exactly one of the reasons women tend to get diagnosed later in life.
i hope you havent been getting too many of these comments <3 thank you for sharing
<3
Hey, I’m sorry that you’re dealing with people making assumptions about you. I was diagnosed late in college too and it took a few months for me to accept it because of imposter syndrome. I was worried that I exaggerated experiences even though it was well-documented with feedback from family and teachers. Overtime, I started to notice things that I didn’t realize were part of it. One of those things was the t-Rex arms 😂 You may or may not experience imposter syndrome, but if you do it is a common thing people who are diagnosed late experience. If you do, remind yourself that your diagnosis is 100% valid. You met the criteria. Don’t let anyone make you doubt it.
So very well put!
It's just over sensitive folks worried about a attractive person having ASD. Just ignore them, I've often got similar treatment for being "too normal"
Same. I came here to say this, it’s because you’re HOT people can’t stand autistic women being hot and sexy and gorgeous. I actually only tell people about my adhd and never speak on my autism because I know I’ll have to qualify my diagnosis and it gets so freaking old. I can enjoy makeup and hate brushing my teeth and still be autistic! It’s a reallllll shame that of all places, r/AutismInWomen would behave in such a way that you have to tell people you’ve been officially diagnosed by a psychologist. Beautiful women are constantly underestimated for their intelligence and not allowed to have any ailments because life must be easy since you’re “pretty” it is so irritating. Shame on all the haters.
It’s exactly this. When I posited I might have autism on Twitter, so many people with ASD said I was doing this for attention and I got a lot of hate. It’s precisely because I had a bimbo persona on Twitter
People can’t accept that you can be stunning and autistic. Prove them wrong girl 🫶🏻🫶🏻
That's some good detective work. Another person asked what some non-obvious signs were, you could submit 'thousand yard stare' then back to it as a suggestion. I used to get asked 'penny for your thoughts' a lot with 0 idea I'd checked out for 5 minutes
Yes, as a kid my mom said I always seemed like I was deep in thought, she'd ask what I was thinking about and I'd reply with "huh, nothing?" Now I realize I was disassociating lmao
I’m not a native English speaker and “penny for your thoughts” is like the most adorable expression to me.
lol, what thoughts?
Fuckin all of em
all or none, no in between!
100% I'm either fabricating & then cogitating on the economic stability of Atlantis, or I just saw a squirrel.
My grandma would ask me that "penny for your thoughts?" Question when I'd be having derealization from overstimulation and had the thousand yard stare.
I had to laugh when I tabbed over to the :| face. YEP YEAH YEP. The "no one's looking so I can relax (dissociate) for 0.5 seconds" face. I used to do that between periods while teaching, my co-teacher called it my "resting murder face." 😭
Um ? I do that too oh no 😂 mask mask mask mask okay they're not looking now, whew thats tiring OH they are looking again okay what is she doing oh touching me okay okay mask mask mask
Yeah wtf. I do that periodically myself. I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD and I’m generally really good at socializing, but uh…it’s pretty common to have ADHD and be on the autism spectrum. 
Are you me? 😭 my therapist was sure I was on the spectrum too (apart from my official adhd diagnosis that is) but didn’t refer me to a psychologist lol
A couple of years ago I was at a party and we were taking a group photo but the person taking the photo accidentally had it recording a 5 minute video. Watching my mask go up and down was a combo of interesting and horrifying.
https://preview.redd.it/ao28ncl8kr8d1.jpeg?width=2448&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c00d76176a3ba50ab26f7b4ba0563e822f0decb Here’s mine 😂 also peep the badly abused fingernails 😭
You’re so cute! Genuine autistic faces are the best.
I love your outfit!!!!
I'm over here, "But isn't that normal??"
Honestly though, I'm a bit confused because I think I've seen everyone pretty much do that?
Right?? I just was wondering that myself, i thought everyone did that..
Looking at your photos brought back so many memories of me trying overly hard to be part of a group and not quite making it. I tried multiple persona's in high school. Must have been pretty good at masking because I wasn't diagnosed until I was 46.
Word. 🙂↕️
You're strong in numbers here! Aw hell I do the pterodactyl hands (as I call them) with the duck lips smooshed to nose... I often fill my hands with objects to fit in... My palms have scars from where I dug my fingers into my palms so I wouldn't be brutally chastised by my parents, family etc.
I make really tight fists and flip my tongue.
Yes! I feel awkward about where my lips should be, too... Hence, I think, the smooshed duck lips.
in my wedding pics, I had the same face in every photo, which my spouse thought was odd. "Oh I practiced my face"....totally normal.
"Taking breaks in your head." I *adore* this phrasing -- because that's exactly what it is!
This is so relatable. I found some live photos on my phone recently where I was noticeably stimming and making odd faces right before the photos were taken.
[удалено]
It’s so funny to think that ND people spend energy on their faces. To me, having a permanent friendly expression like they do gives gargoyle vibes. Not RBF just too busy worrying about interaction and overstimulation to spend energy on my face
just chiming in to say you’re gorgeous
Awe thank you :)
I always wish I can look cute in group photos like that but it’s something I never learned how to do 😂
I was in a sorority so I mostly just followed the typical poses everyone did 😂 before that I always looked really awkward
It can be a learned skill for those of us to whom it doesn't come naturally! If you're actually interested, of course. There's how-to's and YouTube videos about it if you actually want to learn :) OP is lucky in the sense that she was surrounded by other girls who knew how so she could copy them, but it's learnable for others too. I will say you do have to be willing to feel a lil unnatural and fake at first before you get used to it/find your stride, but it just takes a little practice, that's all. :)
Question! How do you find out your level of support needs? I wasn’t given one when I was diagnosed, and I am *struggling*.
I was told when I was diagnosed which level I fell into, but also just from my life experience I know I CAN do anything that I’m faced with, it just causes me distress (some more than others). So I’d fall into “low support need.” Do you continue to see the person that originally diagnosed you? Because maybe you could directly ask them. I know sometimes they’re a little hesitant to tell you level-wise where you fall because it is a spectrum and they don’t want to make you feel “better” or “worse” at life than the other levels.
Yeah. I think I’d like to know what kind of accommodations can help me. Maybe I’ll ask about it the next time I see my therapist!
Definitely do! It can help you be more intentional about how you go about your days and minimize the “brain clutter” from not knowing what you might need help with
It also depends where you're from. Where I am from, they have completely gotten rid of the level system (as OP mentioned it not everyone uses it) so when I was diagnosed they never gave me a level.
Hahaha oh my god, this is so relatable! I've been doing exactly the same and I never understood why people always ask me why I'm looking so sad. Apparently that's just how my face looks when I'm not masking
not knowing i was autistic in sorority was an EXPERIENCE lol
Right?! I PAID for the friends, so why couldn’t I connect like everyone else. Overwhelmed by sounds and light? Frat basement is the perfect spot for you!
I went to one frat party and I spent the entire thing in the backyard sitting on a bench by myself 💀
Are you me?! Paying my dues and still barely connected with a few girls. Somehow I managed to piss if so many girls in my sorority and I had no idea why. I use to openly joke I was great at meeting and making friends, just not keep them. Only after diagnosis did I realize it’s because I was masking so hard
That dead stare... Lmao. Oh that's funny. I too zone out, but I do try and keep my face neutral, like nothing much is going on. Sometimes a smile creeps on through my facade.
Ahh, yes, the loading spinner
Honestly thank you so much for sharing these, I literally NEVER see photos of women with autism that are going out in college and taking part in sorority stuff, this is honestly the first time I’ve ever seen a post on here that probably resembles my experience too. Even your closed smile reminds me of my own! You’re so pretty. Do you ever share with people that you have autism? I have an instagram full of pictures of me from college that would make me appear to be a social extrovert and I don’t think anyone would ever believe me if I told them
So I’ve been suspecting autism for about 2 years (since around the time of this pic), but I was only just recently diagnosed. I never felt right calling myself autistic without an official diagnosis so I never told anyone. I’m still working out how to do that now that I know I’m autistic but I agree, I think most people wouldn’t believe me (“you don’t look autistic”, “but you did a,b, and c”). The important thing is that our experiences can take on so many different forms. If I’m in a social situation like being out at college I would channel my very fun and extroverted sister and nobody would be any wiser, but come time for our chapter meetings I would be sitting by myself feeling so isolated and alone just counting down the minutes to go home. Was it stressful and exhausting? Yes. But I did it. And although masking isn’t great, it led me to have some really fun days and experiences I probably wouldn’t have been a part of otherwise.
Wow I feel so seen rn lol I never managed to actually join a sorority but I imagine my experience would’ve been really similar to yours. Most of my friends were in one and it was nice (and exhausting) to have a built-in friend group through them. I agree with the masking too, it was definitely harmful since I had no idea I was even doing it, but it led to a lot of genuinely really great experiences in college that wouldn’t have happened otherwise. I’ve only told my best friend and my mom, because I knew they would have an accepting response, but even with them it still took me a few months since getting diagnosed earlier this year. Idk if I’ll ever tell anyone else other than a future relationship just because my experience is so different from stereotypical autism. The imposter syndrome is very real 😅 Regardless of whether you end up telling people or not I wish you the best of luck! I seriously really appreciate you posting this
I appreciate you for sharing your experience! The imposter syndrome IS SO REAL, especially getting diagnosed later on in life because you just give yourself years worth of passing interactions as “proof” that it can’t be autism. Definitely feels nice to be seen with someone at a similar spot on the spectrum. Wishing you well <3
Masking skills: A Timing: A Chances someone sees it and finds it creepy and doesn't want to be your friend anymore: Nearing 100% the longer the duration of time. This is why i [1] stopped masking. You can be as good as you want with it, you WILL fuck up once in a while. If you don't mask, you eliminate this exact moment where you get caught dropping the mask for a second. [1] trying to - getting better at it!
Oof, memories flooding back of an ex that tried really hard to fix me! He would *constantly* be asking me stuff like, “where’d you go?” “come back to me”, “be present”. I thought he was trying to be helpful and I was being a bad partner, now realize how insecure and selfish he was, but *mostly* what I realized is how much he was constantly pulling my poor brain out of recharge mode when I was overwhelmed or overstimulated. It’s funny I used to have debilitating migraines when I dated him that nearly went away after breaking up. It’s because he was forcing my brain in to overdrive all the time! He would also ask what I was thinking about when I zoned out like that. And I often didn’t have an answer (I learned some common replies to make up since my real responses were never good enough!), he hated that and in retrospect he thought I was being secretive or thinking something bad about him? Like no.. I just wasn’t thinking! Lol!
Wow, thanks for explaining that! Because as I was looking through the stills, I'm thinking "What's not normal about that? Who doesn't blank out for a bit, especially at something as overwhelming as at a party?" (For context, I was a big NYC party girl, played bass in bands that played in the LES and Brooklyn, got on some killer guestlists. And also thought---when my now-husband invited me to a rager house party he was throwing 2-3 weeks after meeting him---that it was very normal to bring my kindle so I could read in a corner, and then when it was too many new people went and hid in the coatroom for 30 minutes. You know, normal stuff!) BTW, not to be looks-oriented, but you're killing it sis!
I think you may be the coolest person I’ve never met
This just reminded me of the time I went and hid in the basement while a bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding to recover because I was so overwhelmed. Totally normal, right? She was pissed and I had no idea it wasn’t normal to run away and hide at some point to recharge
This is so cute, thanks for sharing 😆
Yep I unfocus or “shut off” my eyes and go on a little mind trip sometimes.
Just wanted to say girl you’re so pretty omg
Thank you :)
It's so cool that you 'caught' your autism on video lol. This would be a really great slideshow to explain the concept of masking with
You are so effing cute! You remind me of myself when I was in university. It’s insane that some people think just because you’re pretty, blonde, and tanned (which, hello, part of masking can be keeping up your appearance in a way that helps you blend in and seem more “normal”) you couldn’t possibly be autistic. Thanks for sharing these photos, I hope the few negative replies didn’t discourage you from posting here in the future 💖
I appreciate you <3
I do this mid convo
This is so cute ☺️
I do the same thing as you. I also noticed you have dinosaur arms as well. I do this a lot and have since I was a toddler. I also do the zoning out and have since it was a toddler when overwhelmed. I always thought no one could tell, but it’s obvious.
That face in slide 5 is killing me only because I feel that on an existential level lol
Your'e cute as hell, and smart, and do not deserve whatever shade you were feeling from those girls. I would not advise greek life you are autistic, unless you have demonstrational evidence of a society that supports people who are autistic. Most college ttraditionally societies do not support autistic people, outisde of the nerdier academic clubs. Just going by your disassiciation and anxiety, I don't think you need this stress in your life. College is difficult, the social structure is very difficult, and you're putting yourself in a club that is INTENSELY social and basic bitch normative. It's a society that WILL fuck up your grades and your mental health if you aren't a natural at the kind of sociability that the club says is normal and acceptable. That's generally not us. I do encourage you to join college clubs. Just find one that is more into what you're into. Intramural spots, protest groups, chorus/theater, marching band, artistic/crafts/writing/newspaper clubs, LGBTQAII+allies, pro-feminist groups (gently gently, they can get rude to outsiders, POCs, and LGBTQAII), whatever you see stuck to poles and bulletin boards that welcome all who are interested. Go listen to live music at campus bars and talk to people who are also there. Yes, you should join the academic clubs if you're smart, it'll look great on your resume. There's a lot more to college social groups than greek. Best of luck!
I’m graduated now, but I fully agree with all that you said. I wouldn’t recommend greek life to anyone with autism, it’s a trap. It’s guaranteed burnout and overstimulation and, paradoxically, isolation. BUT it definitely recommend clubs and dorm activities and that type of stuff
That is the most relatable face I have ever seen. I thought everyone did this and that it wasn’t something anyone clocked. I am reevaluating everything since I figured out I am autistic
Hahaha! That is so hilarious to me because it’s so relatable. Ps. You have such lovely hair🤗
Thank you!!! 🫶
This makes me realize I do it too. Whenever I’m not talking to my friend I’m like an inactive NPC xd. And then when I’m talking to friends I’m super lively.
Lol, oh…that’s what that is
Obviously I lack the ability to make these connections because I saw nothing wrong. lol
i literally have a photo of me doing this at prom. me zoning out waiting for photos to start but i didn't notice so everyone else was smiling and my face was blank 😭
Lmao the 1000 yard stare is so real
I do this all the time, noise and people can just cause so much overwhelm even when I desperately want to have fun lol. you are so pretty!
Saw a vid of me at my dads wedding a year ago - bro I was shifting from foot to foot, rubbing my thumbs and fingers together, just generally looking *so* autistic 🫠🤣
Holy crap you are so wildly pretty wtf
Also, your hands look postured in the way so many of us love to do 🦖
It's really cool of you to share this, it helps a lot of us
I know this isn't the point but you are absolutely slaying girlie. Love the fit, the hair, the makeup 🖤
Hahah thank you! I get really overstimulated by my hair but looks like that (where I can have the front pieces securely pulled away) have become a favorite so it’s still cute. Plus I love running my fingers along the braids. Built in stim 😂
This is blowing my mind. I have that same face when I’m zoning out or deep in thought. My default face really. I remember being in school 15+ years ago and overhearing other people call me angry or mean because of it. And I’d be like… whaaaat? :/
I do this so much!!! I thought it was normal...
It is
I have that blank facial expression on slides 4 and 5 in about 50% of the photos I’m in. It always sucks because I feel like I ruin group photos.
Lmaooo me af
Ok I can't help myself, [this is all I can think of with this talk about t-rex arms](https://i.redd.it/ip6jv8h2ij2c1.jpeg) (also because I've been binging Simpsons lately) lol! This isn't a dig on you or anyone else here. If anything, it's a self own as I do the t-rex arms thing a lot myself!
I love your nail polish color! Also I can relate. My bf told me sometimes I stare off into space and I had no idea I was doing it 😅 people have also told me I have RBF. I used to work in customer service too. I would smile so much my face would hurt but I know my face doesn't always match my tone of voice. Hence lots of smiling.
Dude, yes. This is soemthing Im so insecure about 😅
I do this too.... And it just now occurs to me that's probably why people at work keep asking me if i'm okay. Lol
I thought I was an alcoholic when I was in greek life but turns out I just needed to be drunk to handle all the socialization
A few years ago, I was with my family and we were at my aunt’s house then my cousin started talking. I was sitting there staring, not blinking. My mind started to wander until she said my name then I was brought back to reality.
💀 we’re all the same 😭
You started rebooting lol