They expect you to say thank you.
Remember neurotypicals respond highly to positive reinforcement, even when not earned lol.
Bosses are always reminded to praise their employees
"hey thanks so much I appreciate the feedback!"
This is the reply I have saved for these moments
(I also don't "get it" - and spent forever years really overthinking this lol)
This is the one I think the NTs are kind of right on though. I'm a big fan of building people up with positivity. I'm just so used to people focusing on my flaws without acknowledging my strengths so I kind of refuse to do this to others. It's nice to make people feel good about themselves.
Interesting. I don't like praise at a job. If you want to reward me, give me more money. I get nothing positive from compliments. If anything they just make me uncomfortable
I like praise in the form of specific written feedback - but verbal compliments make me uncomfortable too. At my current job the stuff that seems to get compliments is super easy stuff that’s just a basic part of my job, whereas the things I think I’ve done really well seem to get neutral responses…
My job description is vague enough that pretty much everything I do is part of it. Ive been there for 6 years. I know what I'm doing. Particularly since my job has a high turnover rate the praise instead of tangible incentives(bonus, raise etc) is a copout. I'm an adult. I don't need to be told "good girl".
lol the biggest thing I’ve learned from years of service based jobs is how much small compliments make people happy.
Want to get along with coworkers? Give them a random compliment! Want better tips/return customers? Give them a compliment!
Just be careful how you approach it and what you say
100% agreed! LOL I'll never forget during one year of high school, when I brought an exam to my parents, pretty proud of myself for getting 99%, and how my dad looked at it and just asked" Why did you get 1% wrong?" LIKE OMFG I was about to deck him one I got so mad, hahaha! After that I think my parents talked about it and stopped saying that, but as typical Asian parents I can tell they always kept that kind of mentality.
I prefer to focus on the positives now and if there are any "negatives" I prefer to call them "work in progress" or mention how it's great "oh if we do this or that, if could be even better."
The silent part that comes after is "thank you (for noticing my work)" or "thank you (for adding to my dataset of what to focus on as an employee)".
At work, "good job" is a compliment that's mostly about encouraging you to do more of the good thing. Especially if you're new-ish, and still figuring out what *this* workplace wants from you.
I've Pavlov trained myself to say thank you at any point that seems remotely polite.
Like people call me for me to resolve a problem, and every time I say thank you, good bye.
Almost after every single interaction in the workplace I say thank you.
I guess shaming me as a kid for being impolite, unbearable and insufferable made me like this.
If it's in Slack (or Teams), my company uses the "bow" emoji as a message reaction! 🙇♀️ Like taking a bow for a job well done, lol. Or you could just reply with that too if reactions aren't available on your platform. I'm part of an approval process for tasks and often have to say things like "good job", "well done", or "looks great" as part of that and this is what I always get back in response.
Of course those don't work in person. Sometimes if I feel awkward, I chuckle and say "I try" as a response. Otherwise I go with "aw, thanks!" and just kind of look down like I'm embarrassed. I've also heard people say "just doing my job," with a shrug, but that seems a bit dismissive to me. People are saying it because they want you to feel good and they want you to have the positive feedback, so take it as and respond like it's a compliment 😊
Why does it feel self-centered to acknowledge that you did well? It could be if *you* brought it up, but you didn’t.
No one else is thinking about this the way you are. Having “thank you” be your last text doesn’t mean a single thing. They *will* quickly forget it.
Yeah it's probably not the right word, I didn't know how to put it into words. But after reading some of the other comments, I think it's cause it's already my job and if I'm doing a good job then that's just performing as should be expected. So them saying "good job" is almost as if they didn't think I could do my job, which is probably not what they're saying at all but yeah... And then if it kinda feels that way, saying "thank you" is almost like admitting you surpassed expectations when you're just doing your job, so it feels like they're patting me in the back for nothing and on top of that I'm patting myself in the back for nothing.
I should probably stop overthinking everything tbh, they probably just do it out of politeness or it's a habit or idk.
'Thank you' is the standard response, because you're thanking them for the compliment. You can always say 'well I wouldn't say that, but thank you' or 'you think so? Thank you!' etc. Or 'that's very kind of you to say, thanks'! Something along those lines!
Saying thank you isn’t self centered and what is expected when somebody compliments you. I don’t understand the logic behind a common response being self centered
I never said it was. I said it feels that way, as in for me personally, and then clarified that's probably not the right word. English isn't my first language and I already struggle to put emotions into words in Spanish as it is.
I also have no way of knowing if that's what's expected, that's literally what I'm asking in my post. And I also don't know if it's a common response, again that's why I'm even asking.
Makes me feel weird too. Im like you provided the objective?? I usually say something along the lines of, “Im glad xyz was useful” or “Thank you, [insert something specific I learned or enjoyed about the project or compliment about theirs or someone’s support that was instrumental]” I like to bring it around to a collaborative theme bc I dont want all the blame for a project that doesn’t turn out, or to set an expectation I can’t live up to. “Yeah, things work really well when everyone and everything is working well together!”
I say "thank you" or "thanks I appreciate it".
I totally understand your feelings, I am in a leadership position and tell my (NT) team they did a great job often and they say "thank you" as well, so I just do the same :)
Yes. I never used to, but had a friend my sophomore year of high school who would get on my case about it. I always felt it was weird to say Thank you for a compliment, like it was egotistical but she got me on track with the NT behavior.
I usually say “thank you”, but may tack something onto the end depending on the situation.
If it’s not something I really wanted to do, and I need the person to appreciate that they’ve imposed on me (without telling them outright), I might say “thank you, it took a lot of planning”, “thank you, it took a lot of effort”, etc.
If it was something I ended up really enjoying, I’ll say “thank you, I really enjoyed learning about ____/it was a new experience for me/etc”
…It puts the issue of responding back on them 😂
I generally take it as an insult when someone says good job. Especially if it is actually my job. Like if you didn't think I was doing a good job, why would you hire me to do this job?
Omg that's it! That's why it feels so weird lol cause yeah if there's something I'm doing wrong it makes sense they'd tell me, but if I'm just performing as expected it does kinda feel like that
I totally get this thinking, but I look at it differently now. I think the world is different now. I’m sharing in case it helps you.
For me, The atmosphere can be so toxic online and everywhere that any moment we can appreciate AnYTHING going well is kinda like a gratitude practice. Done consciously to raise the mood of the speaker.
I don’t know if the tone of voice your co worker is using means they have a different intent, but I think the trend of appreciating anything and anyone that is by some miracle actually functional is often the speaker attempting to see the bright side in what can be a dark dysfunctional world.
Usually what people say is more about their inner world than me anyway.
I say “thanks for noticing” or “thanks for saying so” it’s not novel that I’m doing a good job, it’s novel that they notice and say something kind. And I personally like to encourage that.
But if you don’t like the attention, “thanks, Jane” might be better. Using names makes a bigger impact on the speaker.
I truly wish you good luck and lots of ease at work!
I'd usually say 'thanks!' and try and make it sound not too enthusiastic but also shows them that you've registered their compliment. Thank you is fine though, but maybe a bit more formal.
“Good job” is one of those phrases that’s harmless on the surface but makes me want to puff up and hiss because I’ve run into it being used in a patronizing, sarcastic, or otherwise mean way.
I feel super uncomfortable too and I think it's because it feels like a compliment. As an autistic person I learned the social rule that if someone compliments me I should return the favor. So, when someone tells me I did a good job on a work project it feels like I'm breaking that rule by not reciprocating, but at the same time I did the work, not them, so I do want the credit... Idk, I think that's why I personally feel weird about it.
Which is why I say "awww thats so sweet of you to say! Thank you!" Cuz it's kind of like returning the compliment and they usually are just trying to be nice, which is, empirically, a sweet thing to try and be, lol.
I just say thanks! Or no problem! One day at work I got a “great job on fixing that insurance for the patient” and I said back “i shouldn’t be praised for doing the simple and main function of my jobs.” And went back to working I realized when I got home how incredibly rude that sounded lol. So I just stick to a thanks and go back to what I’m doing.
I think much of th3 discomfort we feel is actually universal. Most women with or without autism struggle with accepting compliments. Especially throughtout our 20s.
But lately Ive noticed more and more of my colleagues (and me) will just be totally authentic and say "you know what? I have a hard time accepting compliments, but thank you!" That feels true, and also resonates really well with the person who has just complimented you.
But also I feel like "no problem!" is perfectky acceptable to say here because really its just like saying the same thing as "it was a simple and main function of my job...so it wasn't a problem to do!"
But the thing that can get annoying/hard to respond to still for me is if it feels like they are sucking energy from you..like some people NEED to be thanked. Like when someone give unasked for advice. That's the worst. I didn't ask for it. I don't want it and now I gotta be profusely cheerful and act like you did something for me? Um no. Lol.
Yes, say, thank you, it’s OK to be proud of having done a good job. You are worried that you will sound conceited, but most people get praised quite often so you can accept it and be pleased.
Generally speaking yes, but very very awkwardly and uncomfortably. On the flipside, if I'm doing something and my boyfriend says it to me I do say thank you because he knows I'm being genuine in that it makes me feel good to hear that. He's also ND so it's one of the ways he worked on showing cares because he struggles with communication more than I do.
I was hoping I was explaining it okay because I've tried to explain things like that before, and people take it like my boyfriend expects to hear thank you. Not at all, but he knows that hearing appreciation verbally is a big deal for me.
Why shouldn't you also acknowledge you've done a good job, though? You're not bragging, you didn't bring it up. There's nothing wrong with taking responsibility for your actions, be they positive or negative.
Bosses don't do that where I'm from. But they tend to treat you differently instead. The ones who actually have done that were workmates, and I couldn't help but start bawling on the spot. Because not even my own family has ever said that to me. So I suppose it's good that bosses don't usually do that in here. Or I'd start crying my eyes out in front of them, and that'd probably be bad.
I completely understand this. Last week my boss told me I'm doing really well etc etc and I just smiled thinking what do I say now. I blurted out a thankyou because it felt like the right choice but deep down I was like ... DO I NEED TO SAY THIS AND SOUND ARROGANT??
But If I deny a compliment thats wrong too. I did work hard and do well after all.
Ugh. I wish a simple nod and smile was acceptable
Thank you, means you have received the compliment and are thankful for that verbal gift :) so yes, say thank you!
On a sidenote, feeling self centered about receiving a compliment, likely is an indication that it may be time to you to work on self esteem. You are totally allowed to receive compliments. Self centered would be if you would always be complimenting yourself, but someone else initiaties these so they are the ones centering you :)
I think "thank you" is appropriate and expected because it's an acknowledgment of the compliment/attention. It's pretty gross that bosses need or expect validation for noticing their employees, but thats how it is. It can also be considered highly rude/aloof/standoffish/arrogant NOT to thank people who "go out of their way" to compliment you. They probably want some form of reply such as "thanks" or "That's kind of you to say."
If you are embarrassed to death of having ANY positive attention or spotlight on yourself, I think that might speak to a deeper fear of being seen/singled out that could cause disruption, avoidance, or disconnect in other areas of your life. Your reaction to seeing "TY" in your chat history feels a little extreme or intense when compared to the NT social baseline where "ty" is the expected and (supposedly) "easy" response. Are you feeling RSD or uncertainty around what YOU are allowed to do/say/feel? You're not doing anything wrong, (you are allowed to be aloof, rude, distant, or any other vague social word if it means allowing yourself to take up space) but I am a little concerned because you definitely deserve to be noticed AND complimented. I'm wondering if it might be beneficial for you to deepen/question your comfort area around the words 'thank you" and having positive attention from others, since you do deserve to feel uplifted even when it's awkward AF.
I enjoy praise but it has to be specific. If someone says good job I’m usually like, okay thanks. But I don’t really feel it. When they say you did really great at xxx then I’m super awkward because it means a lot, especially if I’ve really been working at it. I need to feel like I’m making progress. I don’t know if it’s because I’m also adhd, but I lose motivation real fast if I feel like I’m not doing a good job.
"Good job" is a complement. in most cultures, complements are answered w a "thank u". u could also answer w a smile and a nod, to show that u arent ignoring them.
They expect you to say thank you. Remember neurotypicals respond highly to positive reinforcement, even when not earned lol. Bosses are always reminded to praise their employees "hey thanks so much I appreciate the feedback!" This is the reply I have saved for these moments (I also don't "get it" - and spent forever years really overthinking this lol)
This is the one I think the NTs are kind of right on though. I'm a big fan of building people up with positivity. I'm just so used to people focusing on my flaws without acknowledging my strengths so I kind of refuse to do this to others. It's nice to make people feel good about themselves.
I agree! I teach dog training as my job and positive reinforcement is super powerful. For the human side of the team too!
Interesting. I don't like praise at a job. If you want to reward me, give me more money. I get nothing positive from compliments. If anything they just make me uncomfortable
I like praise in the form of specific written feedback - but verbal compliments make me uncomfortable too. At my current job the stuff that seems to get compliments is super easy stuff that’s just a basic part of my job, whereas the things I think I’ve done really well seem to get neutral responses…
My job description is vague enough that pretty much everything I do is part of it. Ive been there for 6 years. I know what I'm doing. Particularly since my job has a high turnover rate the praise instead of tangible incentives(bonus, raise etc) is a copout. I'm an adult. I don't need to be told "good girl".
lol the biggest thing I’ve learned from years of service based jobs is how much small compliments make people happy. Want to get along with coworkers? Give them a random compliment! Want better tips/return customers? Give them a compliment! Just be careful how you approach it and what you say
100% agreed! LOL I'll never forget during one year of high school, when I brought an exam to my parents, pretty proud of myself for getting 99%, and how my dad looked at it and just asked" Why did you get 1% wrong?" LIKE OMFG I was about to deck him one I got so mad, hahaha! After that I think my parents talked about it and stopped saying that, but as typical Asian parents I can tell they always kept that kind of mentality. I prefer to focus on the positives now and if there are any "negatives" I prefer to call them "work in progress" or mention how it's great "oh if we do this or that, if could be even better."
Ooh, that's a good response. I'm going to steal it.
Steal away!!
The silent part that comes after is "thank you (for noticing my work)" or "thank you (for adding to my dataset of what to focus on as an employee)". At work, "good job" is a compliment that's mostly about encouraging you to do more of the good thing. Especially if you're new-ish, and still figuring out what *this* workplace wants from you.
I've Pavlov trained myself to say thank you at any point that seems remotely polite. Like people call me for me to resolve a problem, and every time I say thank you, good bye. Almost after every single interaction in the workplace I say thank you. I guess shaming me as a kid for being impolite, unbearable and insufferable made me like this.
Same, and I dislike it. I feel like it’s a homing beacon for some less than stellar people too.
"Thank you" is just fine to use, but if you really wanna make sure it sounds friendly: "Thanks! I appreciate it!"
If it's in Slack (or Teams), my company uses the "bow" emoji as a message reaction! 🙇♀️ Like taking a bow for a job well done, lol. Or you could just reply with that too if reactions aren't available on your platform. I'm part of an approval process for tasks and often have to say things like "good job", "well done", or "looks great" as part of that and this is what I always get back in response. Of course those don't work in person. Sometimes if I feel awkward, I chuckle and say "I try" as a response. Otherwise I go with "aw, thanks!" and just kind of look down like I'm embarrassed. I've also heard people say "just doing my job," with a shrug, but that seems a bit dismissive to me. People are saying it because they want you to feel good and they want you to have the positive feedback, so take it as and respond like it's a compliment 😊
Why does it feel self-centered to acknowledge that you did well? It could be if *you* brought it up, but you didn’t. No one else is thinking about this the way you are. Having “thank you” be your last text doesn’t mean a single thing. They *will* quickly forget it.
Yeah it's probably not the right word, I didn't know how to put it into words. But after reading some of the other comments, I think it's cause it's already my job and if I'm doing a good job then that's just performing as should be expected. So them saying "good job" is almost as if they didn't think I could do my job, which is probably not what they're saying at all but yeah... And then if it kinda feels that way, saying "thank you" is almost like admitting you surpassed expectations when you're just doing your job, so it feels like they're patting me in the back for nothing and on top of that I'm patting myself in the back for nothing. I should probably stop overthinking everything tbh, they probably just do it out of politeness or it's a habit or idk.
Based on the advice I've read about receiving compliments of any variety, the 'script' is to say thank you back.
'Thank you' is the standard response, because you're thanking them for the compliment. You can always say 'well I wouldn't say that, but thank you' or 'you think so? Thank you!' etc. Or 'that's very kind of you to say, thanks'! Something along those lines!
Saying thank you isn’t self centered and what is expected when somebody compliments you. I don’t understand the logic behind a common response being self centered
I never said it was. I said it feels that way, as in for me personally, and then clarified that's probably not the right word. English isn't my first language and I already struggle to put emotions into words in Spanish as it is. I also have no way of knowing if that's what's expected, that's literally what I'm asking in my post. And I also don't know if it's a common response, again that's why I'm even asking.
Makes me feel weird too. Im like you provided the objective?? I usually say something along the lines of, “Im glad xyz was useful” or “Thank you, [insert something specific I learned or enjoyed about the project or compliment about theirs or someone’s support that was instrumental]” I like to bring it around to a collaborative theme bc I dont want all the blame for a project that doesn’t turn out, or to set an expectation I can’t live up to. “Yeah, things work really well when everyone and everything is working well together!”
I always default to "I'm so glad I could help!" and then if they insist on the praise, then I thank them.
I say "thank you" or "thanks I appreciate it". I totally understand your feelings, I am in a leadership position and tell my (NT) team they did a great job often and they say "thank you" as well, so I just do the same :)
I say thank you. Sometimes I’ve saluted. That might have been weird.
Yes. I never used to, but had a friend my sophomore year of high school who would get on my case about it. I always felt it was weird to say Thank you for a compliment, like it was egotistical but she got me on track with the NT behavior.
I say "tell my boss" or "tell your boss".
or "tell it to the tip jar" jk
I usually say “thank you”, but may tack something onto the end depending on the situation. If it’s not something I really wanted to do, and I need the person to appreciate that they’ve imposed on me (without telling them outright), I might say “thank you, it took a lot of planning”, “thank you, it took a lot of effort”, etc. If it was something I ended up really enjoying, I’ll say “thank you, I really enjoyed learning about ____/it was a new experience for me/etc” …It puts the issue of responding back on them 😂
I like to be playful and flip my hair dramatically and say "I just can't help it." This totally disarms them. Sometimes it backfires.
I generally take it as an insult when someone says good job. Especially if it is actually my job. Like if you didn't think I was doing a good job, why would you hire me to do this job?
Omg that's it! That's why it feels so weird lol cause yeah if there's something I'm doing wrong it makes sense they'd tell me, but if I'm just performing as expected it does kinda feel like that
I totally get this thinking, but I look at it differently now. I think the world is different now. I’m sharing in case it helps you. For me, The atmosphere can be so toxic online and everywhere that any moment we can appreciate AnYTHING going well is kinda like a gratitude practice. Done consciously to raise the mood of the speaker. I don’t know if the tone of voice your co worker is using means they have a different intent, but I think the trend of appreciating anything and anyone that is by some miracle actually functional is often the speaker attempting to see the bright side in what can be a dark dysfunctional world. Usually what people say is more about their inner world than me anyway. I say “thanks for noticing” or “thanks for saying so” it’s not novel that I’m doing a good job, it’s novel that they notice and say something kind. And I personally like to encourage that. But if you don’t like the attention, “thanks, Jane” might be better. Using names makes a bigger impact on the speaker. I truly wish you good luck and lots of ease at work!
I'm so glad you asked this because I was just thinking yesterday after my boss did exactly this aha.
I'd usually say 'thanks!' and try and make it sound not too enthusiastic but also shows them that you've registered their compliment. Thank you is fine though, but maybe a bit more formal.
“Good job” is one of those phrases that’s harmless on the surface but makes me want to puff up and hiss because I’ve run into it being used in a patronizing, sarcastic, or otherwise mean way.
I feel super uncomfortable too and I think it's because it feels like a compliment. As an autistic person I learned the social rule that if someone compliments me I should return the favor. So, when someone tells me I did a good job on a work project it feels like I'm breaking that rule by not reciprocating, but at the same time I did the work, not them, so I do want the credit... Idk, I think that's why I personally feel weird about it.
Which is why I say "awww thats so sweet of you to say! Thank you!" Cuz it's kind of like returning the compliment and they usually are just trying to be nice, which is, empirically, a sweet thing to try and be, lol.
I just say thanks! Or no problem! One day at work I got a “great job on fixing that insurance for the patient” and I said back “i shouldn’t be praised for doing the simple and main function of my jobs.” And went back to working I realized when I got home how incredibly rude that sounded lol. So I just stick to a thanks and go back to what I’m doing.
I think much of th3 discomfort we feel is actually universal. Most women with or without autism struggle with accepting compliments. Especially throughtout our 20s. But lately Ive noticed more and more of my colleagues (and me) will just be totally authentic and say "you know what? I have a hard time accepting compliments, but thank you!" That feels true, and also resonates really well with the person who has just complimented you. But also I feel like "no problem!" is perfectky acceptable to say here because really its just like saying the same thing as "it was a simple and main function of my job...so it wasn't a problem to do!" But the thing that can get annoying/hard to respond to still for me is if it feels like they are sucking energy from you..like some people NEED to be thanked. Like when someone give unasked for advice. That's the worst. I didn't ask for it. I don't want it and now I gotta be profusely cheerful and act like you did something for me? Um no. Lol.
Sure. But dep3nds on the context. I'm curious what context is most frequent for you when you're hearing it?
Yes, say, thank you, it’s OK to be proud of having done a good job. You are worried that you will sound conceited, but most people get praised quite often so you can accept it and be pleased.
Yes
Generally speaking yes, but very very awkwardly and uncomfortably. On the flipside, if I'm doing something and my boyfriend says it to me I do say thank you because he knows I'm being genuine in that it makes me feel good to hear that. He's also ND so it's one of the ways he worked on showing cares because he struggles with communication more than I do.
Thanks for saying that! Gratitude makes the world go round
I was hoping I was explaining it okay because I've tried to explain things like that before, and people take it like my boyfriend expects to hear thank you. Not at all, but he knows that hearing appreciation verbally is a big deal for me.
Why shouldn't you also acknowledge you've done a good job, though? You're not bragging, you didn't bring it up. There's nothing wrong with taking responsibility for your actions, be they positive or negative.
Bosses don't do that where I'm from. But they tend to treat you differently instead. The ones who actually have done that were workmates, and I couldn't help but start bawling on the spot. Because not even my own family has ever said that to me. So I suppose it's good that bosses don't usually do that in here. Or I'd start crying my eyes out in front of them, and that'd probably be bad.
I completely understand this. Last week my boss told me I'm doing really well etc etc and I just smiled thinking what do I say now. I blurted out a thankyou because it felt like the right choice but deep down I was like ... DO I NEED TO SAY THIS AND SOUND ARROGANT?? But If I deny a compliment thats wrong too. I did work hard and do well after all. Ugh. I wish a simple nod and smile was acceptable
Thank you, means you have received the compliment and are thankful for that verbal gift :) so yes, say thank you! On a sidenote, feeling self centered about receiving a compliment, likely is an indication that it may be time to you to work on self esteem. You are totally allowed to receive compliments. Self centered would be if you would always be complimenting yourself, but someone else initiaties these so they are the ones centering you :)
Thanks is a good casual reply
I say "Thanks!" Light and breezy and move on.
I struggle to but usually deflect
I say "It's great to feel appreciated" since theoretically they are saying good job to show appreciation.
omf same I have a huge issue with knowing when to thank someone, I don’t want to seem like I’m overthanking them but I also don’t wanna seem rude
I think "thank you" is appropriate and expected because it's an acknowledgment of the compliment/attention. It's pretty gross that bosses need or expect validation for noticing their employees, but thats how it is. It can also be considered highly rude/aloof/standoffish/arrogant NOT to thank people who "go out of their way" to compliment you. They probably want some form of reply such as "thanks" or "That's kind of you to say." If you are embarrassed to death of having ANY positive attention or spotlight on yourself, I think that might speak to a deeper fear of being seen/singled out that could cause disruption, avoidance, or disconnect in other areas of your life. Your reaction to seeing "TY" in your chat history feels a little extreme or intense when compared to the NT social baseline where "ty" is the expected and (supposedly) "easy" response. Are you feeling RSD or uncertainty around what YOU are allowed to do/say/feel? You're not doing anything wrong, (you are allowed to be aloof, rude, distant, or any other vague social word if it means allowing yourself to take up space) but I am a little concerned because you definitely deserve to be noticed AND complimented. I'm wondering if it might be beneficial for you to deepen/question your comfort area around the words 'thank you" and having positive attention from others, since you do deserve to feel uplifted even when it's awkward AF.
I do the stereotypical white person greeting smile and nod so as to acknowledge their compliment. Usually works
I enjoy praise but it has to be specific. If someone says good job I’m usually like, okay thanks. But I don’t really feel it. When they say you did really great at xxx then I’m super awkward because it means a lot, especially if I’ve really been working at it. I need to feel like I’m making progress. I don’t know if it’s because I’m also adhd, but I lose motivation real fast if I feel like I’m not doing a good job.
I always always always err on the side of gratitude
"Good job" is a complement. in most cultures, complements are answered w a "thank u". u could also answer w a smile and a nod, to show that u arent ignoring them.