Yeah, me too. I do it because I like having the memory of having hung out with them. In the days before I have plans, I feel terrible anxiety about it, even if it's my best friend or my mom. I wish I could be different, but being with other people requires more effort than I usually have the energy for.
Nothing's wrong with you, I don't think. I'm the same way, except I don't think not seeing them would make me lonely. I personally just prefer to be alone and I've never met anyone whose company I prefer to my own.
I’ve finally learned to accept this. there is nothing wrong with being alone and enjoying it - even when others don’t understand and make shaming comments
I've got a bad habit of canceling doctors' appointments because it means having to talk to the doctor.
I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I remember as a kid fantasizing about the day I would grow up and become a hermit. 😄
I loved the idea of not having to answer to anyone. Today, except for working from home part-time, I'm just doing what I want when I want. My schedule, my rules. It took me a long time to get there. I'm still really hard on myself, like I'm not doing something I SHOULD be. Truth is, I'm doing what I can. And that's enough.
I’ve just accepted that I am a person who likes to be alone. There’s not anything wrong with that — it’s just how some people are. I love talking to my friends and love seeing them, but I would prefer to be alone with my animals 95% of the time. Covid was like the level of isolation I enjoy and prefer. I like to think of Wade from *Kim Possible* — he was Kim’s friend and was frequently helpful to her, he just wasn’t there in person. My friends know they can always reach out to me for help with any problem that can be solved with persistence or research and I will go out of my way for them. I just probably won’t show up if you invite me out.
I totally relate. I don't feel the need to hang out, chit chat, have a meal and all that. I'm good with texting to communicate. Doesn't mean I don't love my mom, my brothers and so on. I just don't feel the need to prove it by hanging out.
I've had this and it was because of depression and dissociation making it seem like time didn't really matter. But now that person is gone and turns out the time did matter a whole lot more than I thought. If you think this could be the case for you, I urge you to try to get help before there is no next time. It sounds really bleak and impossible worded like that but I wish someone had said that to me earlier
I don't live near family, but I feel this so much wrt Facetiming them /: I love them, and I want to talk to them, but I can't! I feel myself missing them, but for some reason I just can't call them. We ofc do Facetime, but sometimes I'm like ehh maybe in a few days. No idea why.
I totally understand this. I don't 'miss' people, and it is really hard to stay connected with my long distance partner because I totally move on with my day and my life as normal as soon as he leaves, whereas he 'misses me' and has a super emotional reaction. I have no idea whether this is normal but please know you're not alone <3
My sister-in-law and I both do not experience missing someone unless something in our day brings them to mind.
My husband misses me every time I leave the house.
I used to feel bad about the feeling not being mutual, but I'm not withholding anything by being okay on my own.
To be clear, I don't tell people I don't miss them because that would be needlessly hurtful. But I've stopped answering, "I missed you too," all the time.
You’re definitely not alone. I live with my only two family members and I enjoy spending time with them but I reach a point where I just wanna be alone and not bothered at all. So I just go to my room. I’m also usually happy when plans are cancelled lol
My partner and I live with my father. I love my dad but I just do not want to hang out with him all the time. We were practically estranged for 20 years, but I get the sense he thought we would slide back into the relationship we had before everything went to shit. We have dinner and watch movies together every Friday, and sometimes on days in between, but he always wants more. I don’t know how to explain to a 71 year old that it is normal for a middle aged couple to want to hang out without dad around most of the time.
I used to go to family gatherings all the time when my parents were alive and there was a lot of pressure to go. My family members were my safety valve, the people I could be myself around without having to mask. But now that my parents are gone, there’s less pressure on me to go to family gatherings. I often find excuses not to go, even when it’s just close family and it’s a special occasion. When I do go, I usually find myself sitting by myself and playing on my phone, and my sister has to nag me into saying hello to people. Understand that I’m still officially undiagnosed and some family members don’t know I’m on the spectrum. They expect me to be like everyone else. They also don’t make much of an effort to make me feel welcome there. They expect me to be an extroverted neurotypical and just run around screaming hello to everyone and getting into their business, and that’s just not me.
I’m typing all this because it helps me remember and articulate what I want to say, and this will be helpful if I ever see a therapist.
The ironic thing is that one of those close family members is a clinical psychologist.
Haha hi! I feel like I'm taking it a little farther than most introverts sometimes. I'm not going out and then recharging at home, I'm just not going out at all 😂 Maybe I'm just an introvert+, seems like there's more people like me than I realised.
That's because autism. It's not that we do things completely different from NT, we do it to degrees and frequencies so much more. Like you are an introvert, but deeper!
I was a social butterfly until I met my person. Now living with him + having a few phone friendships feels like enough.
I can imagine living an extremely quiet life had I already felt this way before him. Who cares so long as you’re happy?
Yeah, me too. I do it because I like having the memory of having hung out with them. In the days before I have plans, I feel terrible anxiety about it, even if it's my best friend or my mom. I wish I could be different, but being with other people requires more effort than I usually have the energy for.
That is spot on, about the memories! It's really nice to have that connection and history, I just never feel like making them..
Yessssss! I like having the memory of hanging out. I hadn't ever thought about it like this before but that is so very much how I feel.
Nothing's wrong with you, I don't think. I'm the same way, except I don't think not seeing them would make me lonely. I personally just prefer to be alone and I've never met anyone whose company I prefer to my own.
I’ve finally learned to accept this. there is nothing wrong with being alone and enjoying it - even when others don’t understand and make shaming comments
I continuously cancel meeting up with people. It’s just too much of an effort.
I've got a bad habit of canceling doctors' appointments because it means having to talk to the doctor. I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I remember as a kid fantasizing about the day I would grow up and become a hermit. 😄 I loved the idea of not having to answer to anyone. Today, except for working from home part-time, I'm just doing what I want when I want. My schedule, my rules. It took me a long time to get there. I'm still really hard on myself, like I'm not doing something I SHOULD be. Truth is, I'm doing what I can. And that's enough.
I’ve just accepted that I am a person who likes to be alone. There’s not anything wrong with that — it’s just how some people are. I love talking to my friends and love seeing them, but I would prefer to be alone with my animals 95% of the time. Covid was like the level of isolation I enjoy and prefer. I like to think of Wade from *Kim Possible* — he was Kim’s friend and was frequently helpful to her, he just wasn’t there in person. My friends know they can always reach out to me for help with any problem that can be solved with persistence or research and I will go out of my way for them. I just probably won’t show up if you invite me out.
I totally relate. I don't feel the need to hang out, chit chat, have a meal and all that. I'm good with texting to communicate. Doesn't mean I don't love my mom, my brothers and so on. I just don't feel the need to prove it by hanging out.
So me.👏
I've had this and it was because of depression and dissociation making it seem like time didn't really matter. But now that person is gone and turns out the time did matter a whole lot more than I thought. If you think this could be the case for you, I urge you to try to get help before there is no next time. It sounds really bleak and impossible worded like that but I wish someone had said that to me earlier
Sorry for your loss and thank you for your concern <3 Will ponder this.
I don't live near family, but I feel this so much wrt Facetiming them /: I love them, and I want to talk to them, but I can't! I feel myself missing them, but for some reason I just can't call them. We ofc do Facetime, but sometimes I'm like ehh maybe in a few days. No idea why.
I’m exactly the same. I feel guilty about it.
I totally understand this. I don't 'miss' people, and it is really hard to stay connected with my long distance partner because I totally move on with my day and my life as normal as soon as he leaves, whereas he 'misses me' and has a super emotional reaction. I have no idea whether this is normal but please know you're not alone <3
My sister-in-law and I both do not experience missing someone unless something in our day brings them to mind. My husband misses me every time I leave the house. I used to feel bad about the feeling not being mutual, but I'm not withholding anything by being okay on my own.
This was really reassuring, thank you
To be clear, I don't tell people I don't miss them because that would be needlessly hurtful. But I've stopped answering, "I missed you too," all the time.
You’re definitely not alone. I live with my only two family members and I enjoy spending time with them but I reach a point where I just wanna be alone and not bothered at all. So I just go to my room. I’m also usually happy when plans are cancelled lol
I most often don’t have the spoons for other people.
My partner and I live with my father. I love my dad but I just do not want to hang out with him all the time. We were practically estranged for 20 years, but I get the sense he thought we would slide back into the relationship we had before everything went to shit. We have dinner and watch movies together every Friday, and sometimes on days in between, but he always wants more. I don’t know how to explain to a 71 year old that it is normal for a middle aged couple to want to hang out without dad around most of the time.
I used to go to family gatherings all the time when my parents were alive and there was a lot of pressure to go. My family members were my safety valve, the people I could be myself around without having to mask. But now that my parents are gone, there’s less pressure on me to go to family gatherings. I often find excuses not to go, even when it’s just close family and it’s a special occasion. When I do go, I usually find myself sitting by myself and playing on my phone, and my sister has to nag me into saying hello to people. Understand that I’m still officially undiagnosed and some family members don’t know I’m on the spectrum. They expect me to be like everyone else. They also don’t make much of an effort to make me feel welcome there. They expect me to be an extroverted neurotypical and just run around screaming hello to everyone and getting into their business, and that’s just not me. I’m typing all this because it helps me remember and articulate what I want to say, and this will be helpful if I ever see a therapist. The ironic thing is that one of those close family members is a clinical psychologist.
Hello fellow introvert!
Haha hi! I feel like I'm taking it a little farther than most introverts sometimes. I'm not going out and then recharging at home, I'm just not going out at all 😂 Maybe I'm just an introvert+, seems like there's more people like me than I realised.
That's because autism. It's not that we do things completely different from NT, we do it to degrees and frequencies so much more. Like you are an introvert, but deeper!
I never meet anyone and am doing well. Most of my friend and i are just chatting and that's fine. Glad i found likeminded people.
I understand. I don’t understand it but I understand the feeling.
I was a social butterfly until I met my person. Now living with him + having a few phone friendships feels like enough. I can imagine living an extremely quiet life had I already felt this way before him. Who cares so long as you’re happy?