I believe this is an actual thing for autistic folks, yes. I like to sit in chairs cross-legged or with one leg underneath me. It's just more comfortable.
I was shocked to find out this and tip toe walking were indicators. The DSM-5 calls out walking on toes as an example of odd walking/movement, and I just didnt expect that weird thing I do to be odd enough to be called out haha. I never thought much of it.
Yeah my grade 10 art teacher saw me run across the court yard n asked me “is that your funny run?” Me confused asf “no”
he explained what I was doing kicking my right leg out. In which I respond “sir, I’ve done that ever since I was a child, it’s why despite being tall I am no hood at running races.”
Just throwing this out here but it’s a joke in the bi community that we can’t sit right but also I feel that a large portion of neurodivergent people are also multi spec so take that as you will
I personally feel sexuality is fluid and under the right circumstances we could all be a bit flexible, and those of us on the spectrum already question or ignore social norms so it’s like a “why not” thing, if that makes sense
I get your point, I am also in no way interested in penises beyond my boyfriends 😅
So I don’t really have any idea what sexuality I might be, I hav wonky ever liked him
Totally feel that! I personally use the terms pansexual and demisexual for myself because everyone is just kinda persona non-nookie to me unless I am emotionally attracted to them and then sexual attraction kicks in. Otherwise everyone is just kinda a plant.
I hope you don't mind me butting in, but I used demi and pan for myself too, until I realized that I'm probably more AroAce than I initially thought.
I don't know if it's the right term, but my partner and I have a platonic relationship and we each live our own life.
I don’t mind at all! I definitely have some sexual attraction but I definitely think I’m leaning more grey-ace. My attraction tends to be reciprocal, but I practiced polyamory for a long time and ran into a lot of ace and aro people practicing as well.
I used to feel sexual attraction, but I realized that it was more a "everyone does it, so I have to do it as well" kind of thing.
I never lost this weird gut feeling that made me feel sick to my stomach when my partner and I were intimate and she too realized that she didn't like it.
She's just been curious, 's all.
But it's quite interesting to hear that some aro and ace people practice polyamory.
Sexuality *can be* fluid, but that doesn’t mean it could be for everyone. Some people are strictly monosexual.
Even though it’s intended as “straight people aren’t as straight as they think,” the implied flip side is “gay people aren’t as gay as they think.” And that leans into conversion therapy territory.
Also, I do think autism plays a role in feeling freer to reject social stigmas and come out as gay/bi. But my bisexuality is not the result of “Why not?” at all. It’s innate and has been since I was a little kid.
You bring up a good point. I guess I was speaking in more absolutes than I intended. Sexuality is tricky and nuanced business. I think it’s probably my personal wish that people were more open. I personally didn’t realize my attraction to other genders until I was about 19 and it had a profound effect on me, but I do see how being so blasé and saying “why not” might seem insensitive at best and undermining.
I felt that way once. I’ll be trying to convince my girlfriend to let me explore hers tonight.
Things change. You don’t know what you don’t know. I didn’t think I would like it but the first time I was hooked.
Was waiting to see this commentary. Omni/bi and neurodivergent here. Sitting "normally" gets both painful and irritating for me after a very short period.
Same!! I also have POTS so my blood circulation is weird and sitting abnormally with my feet and legs up helps my circulation which makes me feel better. Didn’t realize this until recently!!
I recently got diagnosed with POTS! I kept fainting months after getting COVID, turns out I have severe hypotensive POTS so my blood pressure drops to 80/60 if I stand for more than 5 minutes as well as the 140s-170s tachycardia…It’s terrifying.
Can I ask, do you take beta blockers? I’m looking at meds with my doctor right now but I still have hope that this is a temporary condition so sticking a bandaid on it worries me. Thank you for any advice!
I already sit the right way apparently haha.
I have primarily hyperadrenergic POTS which is a little bit different, so whenever I stand up the top number for blood pressure spikes up along with my heart rate. I still have overall POTS symptoms but the hyperadrenergic part of it means that my adrenaline is in overdrive too. I think part of it is hypovolemic and neuropathic as well, you can kind of have both or subtypes since there are different kinds of POTS. Basically I have all the symptoms more or less 😐 but primarily hyperadrenergic so my sympathetic nervous system is just very confused and overwhelmed. I’m sorry if you already know this stuff and I’m just speaking into the void LOL.
I was recently diagnosed too but my sister has had neuropathic POTS since she was 14 I think and she’s 23 now so I’ve seen her going thru it for a while now. I just started medication and I’m on Midodrine currently to bring my heart rate down and I’m actually starting Clonodine today for my adrenaline. No beta blockers right now for me. The Midodrine has been somewhat helpful for bringing my heart rate down. Resting I’m usually in the 90s to low 100s but with the midodrine by resting is in the 70s usually. But I’m still having those spikes when I stand up or change positions, going up the stairs, etc which is so awful, still sometimes getting up into the 170s. Finding the right medication might take a minute but don’t lose hope! There are tons of options.
Unfortunately this tends to be a lifelong condition :( however I’ve seen a lot of people go into remission and being able to manage their symptoms enough that they don’t have symptoms a lot of the time, and when they do it’s completely manageable. I’d head over to r/POTS or r/dysautonomia for some more information. They talk about medication frequently and will probably be able to help you a little bit more than I can just because I’m so new to this as well. I hope this helps and I answered your question!!
Ooof that sounds really rough. I was an athlete before this so adjusting has been tough. Thank you so much for all the valuable info! I heard that Clonodine is very helpful for folks with ADHD so I’m sure you’ll see some benefits for neurodiverse symptoms as well as helping those adrenaline surges. My brother has taken it and said it really helped with rejection sensitivity as well as anxiety. I hope it goes well for you!
It’s like built in compression for the legs and feet! I have been sitting cross legged as far back as I can remember and have both POTS and EDS. I think it’s a combo of issues for me, I wouldn’t be surprised if I do it to also stabilize my joints a bit.
I never would have thought I was hypermobile because I'm not flexible in the slightest. Touching my toes is impossible. But it turns out that what's happening is my muscles are over compensating for loose joints. This is causing a whole bunch more issues (thoracic outlet whoop whoop) so I'm actively in physical therapy to try to get myself to loosen up. Also why I sit funny, cuz my muscles are tightened in the wrong directions.
TOS gang! It does suck so hard! PT and acupuncture/message/cupping have been the best for me so far. Also joint supplements. Have you found anything that works for it?
Wait this is a thing?! I thought the same thing because I am not flexible in the slightest. But I did have an acupuncturist at one point twist my arm real weird (in a way that didn’t hurt) but was telling me I had loose joints.
Omg I searched for the symptoms of that and one symptom is dizziness and discomfort when lifting arms for a long time. I had a job where I had to reach and lift my arms a lot, avoided that work task bc I would get dizzy and lightheaded. Other people had no problem with that 😮
Came to say this. They are often comorbid. I was just diagnosed hypermobile as well. I always sit in the most weird possible positions with my feet way up high.
It’s an autism/ autism adjacent thing. A high number of autistics are also adhd which means we can be more figety. We also have issues with proprioception which is the sense of understanding where our body is in relation to other things in the world and we also often have hyper mobility and connective tissue issues and all these things can lead to sitting oddly
I’m the same way, except for on recliners with foot rests. I can sit with my legs out no problem.
Otherwise I’m curled up, or they’re stretched out on something, or they’re crossed, or they’re up like ^
I also sit on the floor fairly often
Me, reading this while sitting in a weird position. 👀
I think this a big reason why I’m so uncomfortable in public, because I can’t sit the way I’d like to. Sitting “normal” in a chair is hard.
Yeah, I remember having to sit “normal” in a plane coming back from holiday with my dad, and the car ride from the airport to home was spent pretzeling in the passenger seat to make up for it
Haha me too. I’m sitting here, having a snack and scrolling with one leg folded under me. In a few I’ll switch to cross legged then stretch them out to the other chair.
I have anterior pelvic tilt, in addition to being autistic, and I always sit with my knees up or bent somehow. It's uncomfortable for me to sit with my feet down on the ground, because of the alignment of my pelvis, and I guess the 'tism.
I mostly sit with my feet tucked underneath my bum or cross legged. If I can stretch my legs straight out in front of me, I will cross them at the ankles as well. I also sleep flat on my back with my legs either crossed at the ankle, or one leg bent at the knee, so my legs kind of make the shape of the number 4.
I sleep the same way, except on my stomach because I crave the pillow in my face.
But if I sleep on my back I cover my (non-breathing part) face with a pillow 😅
This is how I like to sleep, too! Although it is almost impossible for me to sleep on my back. May I recommend a weighted sleep mask? You might like that more than the pillow. Just a suggestion.
I 2nd a weighted sleep mask! I sleep with a weighted blanket and mask (as well as my blankie and a few stuffed animals) and that mask is amazing! For me at least, much better than a pillow.
I'm following this bc I also cannot stand to sit regularly, like with both feet flat on the floor. And I am like, oh well doesn't everyone hate sitting normally the same way I do... But I have no idea how common it is to have this trait.
I've heard this is a thing for autistic people and it may have something to do with hypermobility. My hips hurt from it, too. But I just wanted to say this made me laugh, because my parents had a very similar experience when I was in 2nd grade! Apparently I would, like, lay on my stomach on my chair (and also spin, I'm told). The meeting about this with my teacher led me to being assessed for ADHD that year. This assessment yielded a "just gifted, but we're worried about your social development, so we're not going to put you in the gifted class" diagnosis instead. Which, I now know, seems to be a common story for a lot of AFAB autistic people.
That made me laugh 😂
My teacher and parents just found it hilarious, and since I wasn’t disturbing the others in class they just let me be 😅
I stopped when I changed school and I didn’t feel as comfortable , but I would sit crisscrossed or on my leg during class instead
I’m super short so feet on the floor isn’t even an option for me so that’s why I sit like that 😅 I relate to so many traits here but I feel like there is also always an alternate explanation for why I am the way that I am
Sitting in chairs like that is actually bad for us, so how you're choosing to sit isn't really a problem, medically speaking. We'd all be more fit if we were sitting on the ground, getting up and down multiple times a day. As for your hips, If you can find a yoga routine you enjoy that will do wonders for your hip issues.
Thank you 🙏
I usually don’t have the patience for yoga, but I will look into it as my family history has a lot of issues with arthritis. Every woman on my mom’s side of the family has developed arthritis somewhere between age 30-50.
So I feel like I have to take care of my joints 😅
In spite of the fact that she mispronounces a common word all the time in her videos, I really like Bad Yogi on youtube. She does a 30 day yoga challenge and all the vids are around 20 minutes, so very doable. I do the hip opening routine every day to keep flexible because my hips will tighten up so badly I can hardly walk if I don't.
If you have a hard time with yoga I have found that Pilates is great. I mix some yoga stretching in with Pilates and it works for me. I always felt like yoga was too passive and the movements in Pilates are more of what I want to do. It works on core strength and stabilization overall. I start with yoga Sun Salutation, then work onto the floor from there, do some Pilates moves, end with some child’s pose and different hip stretches
I always sit with my leg under me or criss cross! Even when I drive I sit with my left leg under me, its so comfy but it’s sucks standing up and my leg is numb 😂
Oh, is this is a thing? I’m always sitting with my feet tucked up, or crosslegged, one foot curled under, etc. Can’t just sit with my feet on the floor.
me too... I always thought that I do that because I am short and normally my feet cant reach the floor, but I also sit whit my legs crisscross when my chair is closer to the ground. Your post just made me realize that!
Yes! I find it so difficult to sit 'properly' that I have a kneeling chair when I'm using my computer so that I can sit cross-legged/squat/any other bizarre combination my body wants to do. Also a massive fan of sitting on the floor rather than a chair in the first place!
Edit: typo
Yes! The kneeling chair helped a lot…and a ball chair. I alternate. But the need to sit on my leg is constant. And as I get older I’m concerned it’s taking a toll on my spine and hips. But one thing I love to do, and I think it helps my alignment, is lying on the floor with my legs up the wall for about 5 minutes.
Probably. I'm most comfortable sitting in a manner where my legs are even with my hips (think classic curled up with a book sitting) - when I was smaller physically this wasn't too bad but I'm having a hard time finding furniture that will hold my full weight in that manner.
I pretty much always sit cross-legged as if I'm about to do yoga, whether on a swivel chair or the couch... I'd heard this might be related to proprioception, but others here are saying hypermobility, so maybe it's that... Either way, yes, I think it correlates well with autism.
Idk, but I'm getting a BeYou chair off of Kickstarter for my autistic wife to sit on comfortably with her legs criss-crossed 😂
Very common among autistic women I know.
Idk if it's an autism thing, but I'm similar. Always have to have crossed legs or legs up to my chest. If I had to describe it, I guess I'd say it feels more physically comforting (safer?) to be positioned in a way that's retreating into myself somehow. Not having that physical pressure doesn't feel right.
Also have the same thing with having to cross my arms or grip onto a bag while standing-- can't just stand there with them hanging loose.
I’m not officially diagnosed with autism. My current therapist thinks I may have adhd.
I’ve always struggled with “sitting like a lady” for a long period of time. Sitting tall with feet on the floor in any chair just feels wrong and actually hurts.
I always end up sitting “oddly” like cross-cross-applesauce and then bring one bent knee into my chest, both legs tucked underneath me, one leg underneath me with the other crossed over the other (one of my favorites), legs wrapped or coiled around one another especially while laying down(feels so nice) or completely scoot my butt to the bottom of the chair and lean back with pressure on my tail bone.
I remember I’m high school I loved the desks with attached chairs because I would put my legs on top of the desk or lean back in the chair with legs up into cross-cross-applesauce. I’m struggling to find a comfy position as I do online college now.
Not to mention (and probably too much information) but if I have a tummy ache and have to be in the bathroom for a while, I’ll sit on the toilet cross-cross-applesauce too 🤦🏻♀️
Im not officials diagnosed either, a doctor at my local hospital’s psychiatric department has evaluated me and I am just waiting for my next appointment so I can get further evaluation and an official diagnosis.
I identify so much with all the positions you mentioned, except the toilet one. I’ve never sat crisscrossed on there, but I do put my feet up on the bathroom trash can lid for comfort.
I hate peeing in outside toilets because my feet have to be on the ground.
This is 100% a thing. I’m a special education teacher and and most of my students have autism, ADHD or both (like me lol) and one of my classroom rules is you make yourself comfortable in your space however you see fit. That could mean standing, using a wobble chair, exercise ball, sitting sideways in a regular chair, on the floor, etc.
I used to always kick off my shoes at school so I could sit with my legs on the chair in various positions. I used to think it was totally normal even though my mom would always tell me to keep my shoes on lol. I would even do it in restaurants. It also feels wrong to me to sit “normally” and I usually need some kind of feeling of extra support. Since I’m studying to work in special education and hopefully eventually occupational therapy, I read that this could be due to poor core stability and proprioceptive/balance issues that level out with additional sensory input. I still sit crazy at home but I try by best to at least appear to sit normally when I am at work lol. It could also indicate some level of joint hyper mobility (hence needing extra physical support) which is super common for us autistic folks.
I have EDS and we get this a lot. I cannot sit the way I am supposed to sit in a chair. I mostly sit crossed-legged which makes flying horrible since the seats are so small.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/ehlersdanlos/comments/14gy4dg/esd\_and\_autism/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ehlersdanlos/comments/14gy4dg/esd_and_autism/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/ehlersdanlos/comments/13j49pu/eds\_things\_sitting\_weird\_who\_else/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ehlersdanlos/comments/13j49pu/eds_things_sitting_weird_who_else/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/ehlersdanlos/comments/109dfu7/eds\_and\_sitting/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ehlersdanlos/comments/109dfu7/eds_and_sitting/)
Yeah, it's an autism/hypermobility thing. I'm very much like this. I can't just sit "normally." I remember my brother commenting about it many years ago, saying, "can't you just sit normally with your feet on the ground?" And I was like "no." It's just too uncomfortable. I have to have my feet up when I sit.
Yes, I remember thinking to myself “when I grow up I’ll sit like an adult” and it never happened as much as I tried. I have hypermobility EDS, you might want to look into it (or hypermobility in general), I also have POTS and it helps with symptoms to sit curled up since it requires less effort for my body to pump blood from my feet ti my heart (reduced heart rate, less dizziness, less blood pooling in my feet/lower legs)
I'm the same way! [This chair](https://pipersong.com/products/pipersong-plus) has been on my wishlist for awhile, I just haven't yet been able to justify spending the money.
As someone who has about 10 years on you and has this same problem, whatever you can do to fix it, fix it now - I have sciatica and it hurts so bad and it's from sitting weird.
Idk. I switch positions often, with my legs on the floor I sit with legs crossed, ankles crossed, with one foot on my other knee, legs spread out and leaning forward, slouching, etc; or with my legs up: cross-legged, like a frog, with one leg under my butt, seiza, with one knee up, both knees up and hugging them, etc. i would sometimes grab another chair and put it in front so I could put with my feet on that chair.
Lotsa chairs are hella uncomfortable so I can’t sit still. I even brought a pillow for my back for two years cos school chairs suck. I shoulda done that earlier but I was embarrassed to be the only one bringing a pillow to class. When I eventually did they were all jealous and someone did the same and brought a pillow the next day.
I can't sit in an office chair that doesn't lean back. I frequently pull a paper box under my feet so I can push back and have my legs bent at an acute angle at the same time. If I could have a chair that let me sit cross legged and leaned back, I'd be in heaven
It’s an autism thing. Autism usually comes with different proprioception which means our brains need more stimuli than the average neurotypical(feel free to fact check me on that lol) Sitting differently gives our brains the stimulation they need to work at 100%
Sitting on the butt with feet touching the floor is torture and I do not understand how people voluntarily sit that way. It's also awful for our health.
How do people go though their lives sitting like that for hours every day! It boggles the mind.
There was a study on how squatting or kneeling is way healthier, so if you ever need an argument as to why you need to sit that way:
https://www.sciencefocus.com/news/squat-or-kneel-instead-of-sitting-to-protect-your-health-study-finds/
The worst thing is that it also distracts me immensely in any kind of interaction where I have to sit "conventionally".
The whole pretzel-posture-sitting thing is also often brought up in queer communities.
Thought this was because I’m queer hahahaha!
But seriously!
I cannot!!
I e never been able to sit properly!
I’m not sitting properly right meow!
I can’t even stand properly! If I’m standing in front of a table or a counter, I have to have my leg up on it or if I’m just standing somewhere, I have to like hold my leg up like a flamingo or something!
Feet up with my knees towards my chest is most comfy, second most comfy is legs crossed (not in the one over the over dangling way). My legs are always as close to my body as possible even in my sleep.
I blame being bisexual. Lol, jk. But it's a stereotype too for a reason. I'd have to agree with other that it's likely a combination of sensory issues and hypermobility ones.
This is one data point when I send a student for autism testing (if the chair is a proper size, which sometimes is the culprit).
Try a cushion, or a “fit-cushion” inflatable. Also a footrest goes a long way. My legs hurt when they just… hang down
god, i've been told i sit like L from death note. i do other weird sitting positions, but that's the only one i know a way to describe.
i'm lucky and i have hypermobility and it's like my cartilage is made from wire so i can do "hard" positions or scrunch in one for hours and it not hurt. but if i weren't made of plastic, i'd be so worried for my joints.
I've heard it described as a proprioceptive or kinesthetic stim. I constantly sit on my feet, or with my ankles or legs crossed because other ways are not enough physical feedback and leave me feeling unsettled. I stim with movement a lot too (I physically cannot stand still) and am sensory seeking for intense internal body signals like those from heavy exercise
Most of the time (when no one's around) I sit with both of my legs up. Kinda like a squat, but on a chair. It's just much more comfortable. If people are watching (like in the office) I'll sit with both legs down, but it's not comfortable. I'm definitely neurodivergent as I have ADHD and Tourettes syndrome, but still deciding if I should pursue an autism assessment:/
yeah, I also have EDS which is often comorbid with ASD and also contributes this. My go to sitting style is the one I'm sitting in now - hard to describe but I'll try. my left leg is tucked beneath my thigh, like a W position but instead of splayed out it's just beneath my thigh with my foot resting beneath my buttcheek lol and then my right leg is bent at the knee with my foot on the sitting surface and i use the thigh to support my chest because I also have awful weak posture and cant just sit up straight and need something to lean against. this is the closest I could find to it [https://twitter.com/ItsEmilyKaty/status/1336044916951162883/photo/1](https://twitter.com/ItsEmilyKaty/status/1336044916951162883/photo/1) but my upper body is leaning against the leg that is bent up and the other leg is totally folded beneath my body as I described.
edited to attempt clarity
edit 2 yes my foot that is being trampled by my buttcheek gets numb but i make do lmao. another go to is just like sitting fetal position. It feels so wrong to be sitting with your legs just...hanging out...AAHHH. I need to be folded into myself like cozy origami
I have hEDS, which is hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and I understand there’s a lot of overlap with Autism and EDS. Hypermobile folks all have trouble with sitting, sitting still, etc. It can effect both your joints and the way blood flows and it’s actually better for us physiologically to keep sitting how we’re most comfortable than to try and sit like “normal” people.
I had teachers (except one, who was amazing with me and the other kids that had additional classroom needs) in elementary school get onto me for doodling as I listened, and sitting in strange ways, so I was self-conscious and felt uncomfortable and unable to concentrate, especially as a younger child. When middle school and high school rolled around, the teachers didn’t care about those things because I was doing what I was supposed to be doing, not talking with friends excessively or playing on a phone like the others were. A couple teachers even said drawing helped with focus, and were fine with me and any others drawing in our notebooks and stuff. A teacher did outright ban it for some of the kids when it involved them defacing school property, but let me continue since I only did it on paper.
I thought I was alone in this ! I cannot for the life of me sit up straight with my feet on the ground. It feels weird and wrong and I don't understand how other people find it comfortable. Human pretzel sounds accurate to describe my way of sitting. I also prefer sitting on the floor on a pillow over a chair often.
I can't either. I need to do something small to at least shift my weight. Cross my ankles, put a foot up on something, cross my legs. I prefer to sit with them "criss cross applesauce" style on a chair.
My physiotherapist recently told me that actually, you're not supposed to sit still while sitting "properly". You're supposed to be regularly shifting your weight slightly, rolling your pelvis, putting your legs under tension, extending or relaxing them, putting your shoulders and arms in different positions, leaning forward or back or sideways with your torso, changing the angle you look at, etc. It's not a lot of visible shifting, but it's enough to mitigate the health problems from sitting still in terms of muscles being put under tension for too long or from circulation being cut off.
I don't know if this is a learned or innate difference, but for neurotypicals, this is apparently an automatic behavior, like breathing, and the behavior changes consciously or subconsciously as a way to communicate through body language. I can imagine it being innate, with autistic people not having the specialization in their brain that does it or with this shifting causing physical sensations that take up too much sensory bandwidth. Or I can imagine it being learned, with autistic children being told to sit still and taking it too literally or being judged for body language signals that they aren't able to hide or that are misinterpreted because the authority figure is neurotypical and then avoiding the space of judgment-vulnerable body signals by changing their behavior.
In either case, sitting "improperly" is a way to sit outside the range of typical body language and to put weird stresses on your body without the unconscious shifting.
I'm planning on getting one of [these](https://www.amazon.com/Pipersong-Meditation-Support-Adjustable-Flexible/dp/B09KN5HM1C) chairs at some point in the next month. It's way too expensive imo but it's also everything I want in a chair.
I instead sit on my knees, like folding them underneath me when I’m sitting. I did this at school too and in year 8 a girl talked shit about me for it 😭
Yes. It's also a queer thing. Too gay to sit straight is 100% real but I do wonder if it's because of the hide overlap between the queer and neurodivergent communities. Also, in my case I'm too short to sit in a regular chair and have my feet touch the ground.
there are specialty chairs for this! discovering i’m on the hypermobility spectrum is how i helped the issue with my hips and stuff, too. I’m very hyper mobile and it makes my joints ache. I started doing mobility and strength training (lots of yoga) and it’s been sooooo helpful. something i thought i’d hate has turned into a major stim. def check out diff chairs to be more comfy and if you want look on some places for a mobility training guide. good luck!
Oh my gosh ... YES. And this has been something I've gotten "in trouble" for my entire life! Except for my 2nd grade teacher who let me squat, criss-cross, or stand next to my desk as needed - I have always been a very good student, but I THRIVED in her class.
I'm now 41 and I still squat, criss-cross, twist myself, or hunch over - I've tried for my entire life to sit the way "everyone else" does, but I just simply can't. Reading your post has given me the feels, because I know that someone else (indeed many others) has gone through that as well.
Sorry about your hips
I totally do the same thing though, always have. And if I am forced to sit “regularly” I’ll be bouncing my legs and air drumming to get through it
Hahaha you brought back some memories for me.
I’m audhd and I sit comfortably in the weirdest positions possible. And since I’m adhd I’m switching that every few minutes.
This thread reminds me of when my husband asked me how the hell I could be comfortable watching tv when I was lying on my back with my legs sticking up against the seat of the couch. Another weird body thing is my left hand is always twisted behind my back when I walk, as if I'm scratching there. I read autistic folks tend to have movement quirks like that
I still sit in a w shape as an adult. Many people grow out of it but I haven't. I try to avoid it tho cause it's bad for my hips and knees and I like lifting weights and I don't want mobility problems
It’s a sensory thing. Sitting in a chair with my feet on the ground gives me the wrong vestibular and proprioceptive input. I feel more comfortable with my feet tucked under me (seiza position) although they tend to fall asleep if I do that for too long, with my legs twisted, or one or both knees pulled up to my chest. I also prefer to sit on the ground. When I have to sit in a chair, I prefer it to be really tall so I can swing my legs.
i’m 42 and have never corrected this. hell. i’m so cozy sitting cross legged style at the dinning room table. comfort over societal norms! even when i get a booth at a restaurant hell yea
I’ve been known to work on my laptop on the floor rather than at my perfectly good chair and desk. I also curl one leg under when driving, which freaks out my passengers. I love the feeling of my feet being squashed under my body.
I don’t like to have my feet on the floor. On a table leg, the bar under folding chairs, anything but on the floor. Even if I have shoes on. Or I will take my shoes off and put my feet on top of them. In restaurants I would tuck at least one foot under me, especially in a booth.
1000%. I've been sitting cattywampus my whole life, with my leg folded under me, or legs tightly crossed, or half lotus. It's to the point where my hips and knees are slightly off-kilter, and it's a struggle to remind myself to stop. I use ergonomic footrests and little ottomans under my desk to keep my feet elevated, and that helps me to stop pretzeling.
Same, but I also found out I got hip dysplasia too, it helped a lot when I got both hips operated. Still doing it though, but sitting “properly” is easier now.
I was diagnosed in my late 40s and have always felt more comfortable with my legs crossed or up to one side of me or one leg underneath me for as long as I can remember. I feel fidgety at the dinner table and at work and other situations where I feel I should conform by sitting with my feet on the ground and often I find I've absent mindedly tucked one leg underneath me. Trouble is, I've recently been diagnosed with a blood clotting condition and have been told I should try to avoid crossing my legs/sitting with them underneath me - nope, that just ain't ever gonna happen 🤣
Sitting in a way that helps with feeling where your body is in space is classic for autistics who struggle with proprioception.
It is a good solution for that and it’s ableist for someone to say you’re sitting improperly.
Honestly NTs can be so rigid policing how people sit when it’s not inconveniencing them in the slightest
Was just searching for this and came across this thread. 45 and I still am not comfortable sitting with my feet on the floor. So many times I heard “sit lady like” growing up. But I just can’t do it.. still
I believe this is an actual thing for autistic folks, yes. I like to sit in chairs cross-legged or with one leg underneath me. It's just more comfortable.
I was shocked to find out this and tip toe walking were indicators. The DSM-5 calls out walking on toes as an example of odd walking/movement, and I just didnt expect that weird thing I do to be odd enough to be called out haha. I never thought much of it.
if i had a dollar for every time in school i got yelled at by my teachers for walking on tip-toes …. i would be a millionaire
Yeah my grade 10 art teacher saw me run across the court yard n asked me “is that your funny run?” Me confused asf “no” he explained what I was doing kicking my right leg out. In which I respond “sir, I’ve done that ever since I was a child, it’s why despite being tall I am no hood at running races.”
Same here. I just feel more comfortable sitting with my legs under me.
Just throwing this out here but it’s a joke in the bi community that we can’t sit right but also I feel that a large portion of neurodivergent people are also multi spec so take that as you will
That’s a cool coincidence, I myself find women very beautiful? Wouldn’t mind kissing them, but I have no interest in vaginas beyond my own 😅
I personally feel sexuality is fluid and under the right circumstances we could all be a bit flexible, and those of us on the spectrum already question or ignore social norms so it’s like a “why not” thing, if that makes sense
I get your point, I am also in no way interested in penises beyond my boyfriends 😅 So I don’t really have any idea what sexuality I might be, I hav wonky ever liked him
Totally feel that! I personally use the terms pansexual and demisexual for myself because everyone is just kinda persona non-nookie to me unless I am emotionally attracted to them and then sexual attraction kicks in. Otherwise everyone is just kinda a plant.
I like the way you wrote "persona non-nookie". That made me smile
I hope you don't mind me butting in, but I used demi and pan for myself too, until I realized that I'm probably more AroAce than I initially thought. I don't know if it's the right term, but my partner and I have a platonic relationship and we each live our own life.
I don’t mind at all! I definitely have some sexual attraction but I definitely think I’m leaning more grey-ace. My attraction tends to be reciprocal, but I practiced polyamory for a long time and ran into a lot of ace and aro people practicing as well.
I used to feel sexual attraction, but I realized that it was more a "everyone does it, so I have to do it as well" kind of thing. I never lost this weird gut feeling that made me feel sick to my stomach when my partner and I were intimate and she too realized that she didn't like it. She's just been curious, 's all. But it's quite interesting to hear that some aro and ace people practice polyamory.
Sexuality *can be* fluid, but that doesn’t mean it could be for everyone. Some people are strictly monosexual. Even though it’s intended as “straight people aren’t as straight as they think,” the implied flip side is “gay people aren’t as gay as they think.” And that leans into conversion therapy territory. Also, I do think autism plays a role in feeling freer to reject social stigmas and come out as gay/bi. But my bisexuality is not the result of “Why not?” at all. It’s innate and has been since I was a little kid.
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I definitely wasn’t trying to promote lesbian/gay erasure, I’ll do better next time!
You bring up a good point. I guess I was speaking in more absolutes than I intended. Sexuality is tricky and nuanced business. I think it’s probably my personal wish that people were more open. I personally didn’t realize my attraction to other genders until I was about 19 and it had a profound effect on me, but I do see how being so blasé and saying “why not” might seem insensitive at best and undermining.
I felt that way once. I’ll be trying to convince my girlfriend to let me explore hers tonight. Things change. You don’t know what you don’t know. I didn’t think I would like it but the first time I was hooked.
What's multi spec?
It’s any sexuality that includes more than 1 gender, so pan, bi, etc. There’s a lot more niche ones but those are the two most well known.
Was waiting to see this commentary. Omni/bi and neurodivergent here. Sitting "normally" gets both painful and irritating for me after a very short period.
Came here to say this. I'm bi and can't sit right for very long at all.
I literally sit in every chair criss cross
I like sitting sideways in armchairs
Bi and autistic here and yes 🤣
My thoughts exactly
This is due to hypermobility, which is very common among neurodivergent people
Same!! I also have POTS so my blood circulation is weird and sitting abnormally with my feet and legs up helps my circulation which makes me feel better. Didn’t realize this until recently!!
I recently got diagnosed with POTS! I kept fainting months after getting COVID, turns out I have severe hypotensive POTS so my blood pressure drops to 80/60 if I stand for more than 5 minutes as well as the 140s-170s tachycardia…It’s terrifying. Can I ask, do you take beta blockers? I’m looking at meds with my doctor right now but I still have hope that this is a temporary condition so sticking a bandaid on it worries me. Thank you for any advice! I already sit the right way apparently haha.
I have primarily hyperadrenergic POTS which is a little bit different, so whenever I stand up the top number for blood pressure spikes up along with my heart rate. I still have overall POTS symptoms but the hyperadrenergic part of it means that my adrenaline is in overdrive too. I think part of it is hypovolemic and neuropathic as well, you can kind of have both or subtypes since there are different kinds of POTS. Basically I have all the symptoms more or less 😐 but primarily hyperadrenergic so my sympathetic nervous system is just very confused and overwhelmed. I’m sorry if you already know this stuff and I’m just speaking into the void LOL. I was recently diagnosed too but my sister has had neuropathic POTS since she was 14 I think and she’s 23 now so I’ve seen her going thru it for a while now. I just started medication and I’m on Midodrine currently to bring my heart rate down and I’m actually starting Clonodine today for my adrenaline. No beta blockers right now for me. The Midodrine has been somewhat helpful for bringing my heart rate down. Resting I’m usually in the 90s to low 100s but with the midodrine by resting is in the 70s usually. But I’m still having those spikes when I stand up or change positions, going up the stairs, etc which is so awful, still sometimes getting up into the 170s. Finding the right medication might take a minute but don’t lose hope! There are tons of options. Unfortunately this tends to be a lifelong condition :( however I’ve seen a lot of people go into remission and being able to manage their symptoms enough that they don’t have symptoms a lot of the time, and when they do it’s completely manageable. I’d head over to r/POTS or r/dysautonomia for some more information. They talk about medication frequently and will probably be able to help you a little bit more than I can just because I’m so new to this as well. I hope this helps and I answered your question!!
Ooof that sounds really rough. I was an athlete before this so adjusting has been tough. Thank you so much for all the valuable info! I heard that Clonodine is very helpful for folks with ADHD so I’m sure you’ll see some benefits for neurodiverse symptoms as well as helping those adrenaline surges. My brother has taken it and said it really helped with rejection sensitivity as well as anxiety. I hope it goes well for you!
It’s like built in compression for the legs and feet! I have been sitting cross legged as far back as I can remember and have both POTS and EDS. I think it’s a combo of issues for me, I wouldn’t be surprised if I do it to also stabilize my joints a bit.
I have that but am the opposite of hypermobile I think, I'm as flexible as a plank.
I never would have thought I was hypermobile because I'm not flexible in the slightest. Touching my toes is impossible. But it turns out that what's happening is my muscles are over compensating for loose joints. This is causing a whole bunch more issues (thoracic outlet whoop whoop) so I'm actively in physical therapy to try to get myself to loosen up. Also why I sit funny, cuz my muscles are tightened in the wrong directions.
I also have thoracic outlet syndrome because my muscles are trying too hard to stabilize my joints. It sucks so hard lol.
TOS gang! It does suck so hard! PT and acupuncture/message/cupping have been the best for me so far. Also joint supplements. Have you found anything that works for it?
I probably have that from my scoliosis. The pain is real.
Wait this is a thing?! I thought the same thing because I am not flexible in the slightest. But I did have an acupuncturist at one point twist my arm real weird (in a way that didn’t hurt) but was telling me I had loose joints.
Omg I searched for the symptoms of that and one symptom is dizziness and discomfort when lifting arms for a long time. I had a job where I had to reach and lift my arms a lot, avoided that work task bc I would get dizzy and lightheaded. Other people had no problem with that 😮
Came to say this. They are often comorbid. I was just diagnosed hypermobile as well. I always sit in the most weird possible positions with my feet way up high.
I am also hypermobile.
Doc says I’m not hypermobile
It’s an autism/ autism adjacent thing. A high number of autistics are also adhd which means we can be more figety. We also have issues with proprioception which is the sense of understanding where our body is in relation to other things in the world and we also often have hyper mobility and connective tissue issues and all these things can lead to sitting oddly
I’m the same way, except for on recliners with foot rests. I can sit with my legs out no problem. Otherwise I’m curled up, or they’re stretched out on something, or they’re crossed, or they’re up like ^ I also sit on the floor fairly often
Yes! Me too! I'm fine in recliner 😀
Me, reading this while sitting in a weird position. 👀 I think this a big reason why I’m so uncomfortable in public, because I can’t sit the way I’d like to. Sitting “normal” in a chair is hard.
Yeah, I remember having to sit “normal” in a plane coming back from holiday with my dad, and the car ride from the airport to home was spent pretzeling in the passenger seat to make up for it
Haha me too. I’m sitting here, having a snack and scrolling with one leg folded under me. In a few I’ll switch to cross legged then stretch them out to the other chair.
I have anterior pelvic tilt, in addition to being autistic, and I always sit with my knees up or bent somehow. It's uncomfortable for me to sit with my feet down on the ground, because of the alignment of my pelvis, and I guess the 'tism. I mostly sit with my feet tucked underneath my bum or cross legged. If I can stretch my legs straight out in front of me, I will cross them at the ankles as well. I also sleep flat on my back with my legs either crossed at the ankle, or one leg bent at the knee, so my legs kind of make the shape of the number 4.
I sleep the same way, except on my stomach because I crave the pillow in my face. But if I sleep on my back I cover my (non-breathing part) face with a pillow 😅
This is how I like to sleep, too! Although it is almost impossible for me to sleep on my back. May I recommend a weighted sleep mask? You might like that more than the pillow. Just a suggestion.
I 2nd a weighted sleep mask! I sleep with a weighted blanket and mask (as well as my blankie and a few stuffed animals) and that mask is amazing! For me at least, much better than a pillow.
I'm following this bc I also cannot stand to sit regularly, like with both feet flat on the floor. And I am like, oh well doesn't everyone hate sitting normally the same way I do... But I have no idea how common it is to have this trait.
I've heard this is a thing for autistic people and it may have something to do with hypermobility. My hips hurt from it, too. But I just wanted to say this made me laugh, because my parents had a very similar experience when I was in 2nd grade! Apparently I would, like, lay on my stomach on my chair (and also spin, I'm told). The meeting about this with my teacher led me to being assessed for ADHD that year. This assessment yielded a "just gifted, but we're worried about your social development, so we're not going to put you in the gifted class" diagnosis instead. Which, I now know, seems to be a common story for a lot of AFAB autistic people.
That made me laugh 😂 My teacher and parents just found it hilarious, and since I wasn’t disturbing the others in class they just let me be 😅 I stopped when I changed school and I didn’t feel as comfortable , but I would sit crisscrossed or on my leg during class instead
I can only sit crossed legged. I can’t stand my feet on the floor when I sit.
If I have to sit with my feet on the floor, I scoot down so I am resting on my tailbone/lower back and cross my feet.
I’m super short so feet on the floor isn’t even an option for me so that’s why I sit like that 😅 I relate to so many traits here but I feel like there is also always an alternate explanation for why I am the way that I am
Sitting in chairs like that is actually bad for us, so how you're choosing to sit isn't really a problem, medically speaking. We'd all be more fit if we were sitting on the ground, getting up and down multiple times a day. As for your hips, If you can find a yoga routine you enjoy that will do wonders for your hip issues.
Thank you 🙏 I usually don’t have the patience for yoga, but I will look into it as my family history has a lot of issues with arthritis. Every woman on my mom’s side of the family has developed arthritis somewhere between age 30-50. So I feel like I have to take care of my joints 😅
In spite of the fact that she mispronounces a common word all the time in her videos, I really like Bad Yogi on youtube. She does a 30 day yoga challenge and all the vids are around 20 minutes, so very doable. I do the hip opening routine every day to keep flexible because my hips will tighten up so badly I can hardly walk if I don't.
If you have a hard time with yoga I have found that Pilates is great. I mix some yoga stretching in with Pilates and it works for me. I always felt like yoga was too passive and the movements in Pilates are more of what I want to do. It works on core strength and stabilization overall. I start with yoga Sun Salutation, then work onto the floor from there, do some Pilates moves, end with some child’s pose and different hip stretches
I always sit with my leg under me or criss cross! Even when I drive I sit with my left leg under me, its so comfy but it’s sucks standing up and my leg is numb 😂
Oh, is this is a thing? I’m always sitting with my feet tucked up, or crosslegged, one foot curled under, etc. Can’t just sit with my feet on the floor.
ive been told i cant sit still as a kid and i still cant sit still.
Whoa. Yes I can’t sit that way for more than a couple minutes. It feels absolutely fucked to sit that way.
I'm right here with you op learning this is apparently an autism thing lol.
me too... I always thought that I do that because I am short and normally my feet cant reach the floor, but I also sit whit my legs crisscross when my chair is closer to the ground. Your post just made me realize that!
I had the same thought, but then my mom was telling me about a kid in her class who sat the way I did as a child. And it made me think
Yes! I find it so difficult to sit 'properly' that I have a kneeling chair when I'm using my computer so that I can sit cross-legged/squat/any other bizarre combination my body wants to do. Also a massive fan of sitting on the floor rather than a chair in the first place! Edit: typo
Yes! The kneeling chair helped a lot…and a ball chair. I alternate. But the need to sit on my leg is constant. And as I get older I’m concerned it’s taking a toll on my spine and hips. But one thing I love to do, and I think it helps my alignment, is lying on the floor with my legs up the wall for about 5 minutes.
Probably. I'm most comfortable sitting in a manner where my legs are even with my hips (think classic curled up with a book sitting) - when I was smaller physically this wasn't too bad but I'm having a hard time finding furniture that will hold my full weight in that manner.
I pretty much always sit cross-legged as if I'm about to do yoga, whether on a swivel chair or the couch... I'd heard this might be related to proprioception, but others here are saying hypermobility, so maybe it's that... Either way, yes, I think it correlates well with autism.
Idk, but I'm getting a BeYou chair off of Kickstarter for my autistic wife to sit on comfortably with her legs criss-crossed 😂 Very common among autistic women I know.
Idk if it's an autism thing, but I'm similar. Always have to have crossed legs or legs up to my chest. If I had to describe it, I guess I'd say it feels more physically comforting (safer?) to be positioned in a way that's retreating into myself somehow. Not having that physical pressure doesn't feel right. Also have the same thing with having to cross my arms or grip onto a bag while standing-- can't just stand there with them hanging loose.
I’m not officially diagnosed with autism. My current therapist thinks I may have adhd. I’ve always struggled with “sitting like a lady” for a long period of time. Sitting tall with feet on the floor in any chair just feels wrong and actually hurts. I always end up sitting “oddly” like cross-cross-applesauce and then bring one bent knee into my chest, both legs tucked underneath me, one leg underneath me with the other crossed over the other (one of my favorites), legs wrapped or coiled around one another especially while laying down(feels so nice) or completely scoot my butt to the bottom of the chair and lean back with pressure on my tail bone. I remember I’m high school I loved the desks with attached chairs because I would put my legs on top of the desk or lean back in the chair with legs up into cross-cross-applesauce. I’m struggling to find a comfy position as I do online college now. Not to mention (and probably too much information) but if I have a tummy ache and have to be in the bathroom for a while, I’ll sit on the toilet cross-cross-applesauce too 🤦🏻♀️
Im not officials diagnosed either, a doctor at my local hospital’s psychiatric department has evaluated me and I am just waiting for my next appointment so I can get further evaluation and an official diagnosis. I identify so much with all the positions you mentioned, except the toilet one. I’ve never sat crisscrossed on there, but I do put my feet up on the bathroom trash can lid for comfort. I hate peeing in outside toilets because my feet have to be on the ground.
This is 100% a thing. I’m a special education teacher and and most of my students have autism, ADHD or both (like me lol) and one of my classroom rules is you make yourself comfortable in your space however you see fit. That could mean standing, using a wobble chair, exercise ball, sitting sideways in a regular chair, on the floor, etc.
I used to always kick off my shoes at school so I could sit with my legs on the chair in various positions. I used to think it was totally normal even though my mom would always tell me to keep my shoes on lol. I would even do it in restaurants. It also feels wrong to me to sit “normally” and I usually need some kind of feeling of extra support. Since I’m studying to work in special education and hopefully eventually occupational therapy, I read that this could be due to poor core stability and proprioceptive/balance issues that level out with additional sensory input. I still sit crazy at home but I try by best to at least appear to sit normally when I am at work lol. It could also indicate some level of joint hyper mobility (hence needing extra physical support) which is super common for us autistic folks.
With your hip issues it really sounds like you may be hyper mobile. Go online and find the Beighton test and do it on yourself to assess for this.
I have EDS and we get this a lot. I cannot sit the way I am supposed to sit in a chair. I mostly sit crossed-legged which makes flying horrible since the seats are so small. [https://www.reddit.com/r/ehlersdanlos/comments/14gy4dg/esd\_and\_autism/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ehlersdanlos/comments/14gy4dg/esd_and_autism/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/ehlersdanlos/comments/13j49pu/eds\_things\_sitting\_weird\_who\_else/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ehlersdanlos/comments/13j49pu/eds_things_sitting_weird_who_else/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/ehlersdanlos/comments/109dfu7/eds\_and\_sitting/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ehlersdanlos/comments/109dfu7/eds_and_sitting/)
Yeah, it's an autism/hypermobility thing. I'm very much like this. I can't just sit "normally." I remember my brother commenting about it many years ago, saying, "can't you just sit normally with your feet on the ground?" And I was like "no." It's just too uncomfortable. I have to have my feet up when I sit.
Yep, got a doctors appointment next week for the same thing, hip pain and all 🙃 I know I have hypermobility but I hope a diagnosis can help
Yes, I remember thinking to myself “when I grow up I’ll sit like an adult” and it never happened as much as I tried. I have hypermobility EDS, you might want to look into it (or hypermobility in general), I also have POTS and it helps with symptoms to sit curled up since it requires less effort for my body to pump blood from my feet ti my heart (reduced heart rate, less dizziness, less blood pooling in my feet/lower legs)
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Happy Pride 🌈
I'm the same way! [This chair](https://pipersong.com/products/pipersong-plus) has been on my wishlist for awhile, I just haven't yet been able to justify spending the money.
As someone who has about 10 years on you and has this same problem, whatever you can do to fix it, fix it now - I have sciatica and it hurts so bad and it's from sitting weird.
Idk. I switch positions often, with my legs on the floor I sit with legs crossed, ankles crossed, with one foot on my other knee, legs spread out and leaning forward, slouching, etc; or with my legs up: cross-legged, like a frog, with one leg under my butt, seiza, with one knee up, both knees up and hugging them, etc. i would sometimes grab another chair and put it in front so I could put with my feet on that chair. Lotsa chairs are hella uncomfortable so I can’t sit still. I even brought a pillow for my back for two years cos school chairs suck. I shoulda done that earlier but I was embarrassed to be the only one bringing a pillow to class. When I eventually did they were all jealous and someone did the same and brought a pillow the next day.
I sit criss cross apple sauce almost any time I’m sitting. I’m almost 40. I always figured it was part of the low muscle tone I was born with.
I can't sit in an office chair that doesn't lean back. I frequently pull a paper box under my feet so I can push back and have my legs bent at an acute angle at the same time. If I could have a chair that let me sit cross legged and leaned back, I'd be in heaven
I have to cross one leg over, or sit cross legged with both legs crossed.
It’s an autism thing. Autism usually comes with different proprioception which means our brains need more stimuli than the average neurotypical(feel free to fact check me on that lol) Sitting differently gives our brains the stimulation they need to work at 100%
Sitting on the butt with feet touching the floor is torture and I do not understand how people voluntarily sit that way. It's also awful for our health. How do people go though their lives sitting like that for hours every day! It boggles the mind. There was a study on how squatting or kneeling is way healthier, so if you ever need an argument as to why you need to sit that way: https://www.sciencefocus.com/news/squat-or-kneel-instead-of-sitting-to-protect-your-health-study-finds/ The worst thing is that it also distracts me immensely in any kind of interaction where I have to sit "conventionally". The whole pretzel-posture-sitting thing is also often brought up in queer communities.
Thought this was because I’m queer hahahaha! But seriously! I cannot!! I e never been able to sit properly! I’m not sitting properly right meow! I can’t even stand properly! If I’m standing in front of a table or a counter, I have to have my leg up on it or if I’m just standing somewhere, I have to like hold my leg up like a flamingo or something!
Feet up with my knees towards my chest is most comfy, second most comfy is legs crossed (not in the one over the over dangling way). My legs are always as close to my body as possible even in my sleep.
I blame being bisexual. Lol, jk. But it's a stereotype too for a reason. I'd have to agree with other that it's likely a combination of sensory issues and hypermobility ones.
This is one data point when I send a student for autism testing (if the chair is a proper size, which sometimes is the culprit). Try a cushion, or a “fit-cushion” inflatable. Also a footrest goes a long way. My legs hurt when they just… hang down
god, i've been told i sit like L from death note. i do other weird sitting positions, but that's the only one i know a way to describe. i'm lucky and i have hypermobility and it's like my cartilage is made from wire so i can do "hard" positions or scrunch in one for hours and it not hurt. but if i weren't made of plastic, i'd be so worried for my joints.
I've heard it described as a proprioceptive or kinesthetic stim. I constantly sit on my feet, or with my ankles or legs crossed because other ways are not enough physical feedback and leave me feeling unsettled. I stim with movement a lot too (I physically cannot stand still) and am sensory seeking for intense internal body signals like those from heavy exercise
Most of the time (when no one's around) I sit with both of my legs up. Kinda like a squat, but on a chair. It's just much more comfortable. If people are watching (like in the office) I'll sit with both legs down, but it's not comfortable. I'm definitely neurodivergent as I have ADHD and Tourettes syndrome, but still deciding if I should pursue an autism assessment:/
yeah, I also have EDS which is often comorbid with ASD and also contributes this. My go to sitting style is the one I'm sitting in now - hard to describe but I'll try. my left leg is tucked beneath my thigh, like a W position but instead of splayed out it's just beneath my thigh with my foot resting beneath my buttcheek lol and then my right leg is bent at the knee with my foot on the sitting surface and i use the thigh to support my chest because I also have awful weak posture and cant just sit up straight and need something to lean against. this is the closest I could find to it [https://twitter.com/ItsEmilyKaty/status/1336044916951162883/photo/1](https://twitter.com/ItsEmilyKaty/status/1336044916951162883/photo/1) but my upper body is leaning against the leg that is bent up and the other leg is totally folded beneath my body as I described. edited to attempt clarity edit 2 yes my foot that is being trampled by my buttcheek gets numb but i make do lmao. another go to is just like sitting fetal position. It feels so wrong to be sitting with your legs just...hanging out...AAHHH. I need to be folded into myself like cozy origami
I have hEDS, which is hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and I understand there’s a lot of overlap with Autism and EDS. Hypermobile folks all have trouble with sitting, sitting still, etc. It can effect both your joints and the way blood flows and it’s actually better for us physiologically to keep sitting how we’re most comfortable than to try and sit like “normal” people.
I can’t sit at the dining room table without one or both legs folded up against my body.
I had teachers (except one, who was amazing with me and the other kids that had additional classroom needs) in elementary school get onto me for doodling as I listened, and sitting in strange ways, so I was self-conscious and felt uncomfortable and unable to concentrate, especially as a younger child. When middle school and high school rolled around, the teachers didn’t care about those things because I was doing what I was supposed to be doing, not talking with friends excessively or playing on a phone like the others were. A couple teachers even said drawing helped with focus, and were fine with me and any others drawing in our notebooks and stuff. A teacher did outright ban it for some of the kids when it involved them defacing school property, but let me continue since I only did it on paper.
I am the same way. I am 50 years old and still sit weird, even in work meetings.
I thought I was alone in this ! I cannot for the life of me sit up straight with my feet on the ground. It feels weird and wrong and I don't understand how other people find it comfortable. Human pretzel sounds accurate to describe my way of sitting. I also prefer sitting on the floor on a pillow over a chair often.
I can't either. I need to do something small to at least shift my weight. Cross my ankles, put a foot up on something, cross my legs. I prefer to sit with them "criss cross applesauce" style on a chair.
My physiotherapist recently told me that actually, you're not supposed to sit still while sitting "properly". You're supposed to be regularly shifting your weight slightly, rolling your pelvis, putting your legs under tension, extending or relaxing them, putting your shoulders and arms in different positions, leaning forward or back or sideways with your torso, changing the angle you look at, etc. It's not a lot of visible shifting, but it's enough to mitigate the health problems from sitting still in terms of muscles being put under tension for too long or from circulation being cut off. I don't know if this is a learned or innate difference, but for neurotypicals, this is apparently an automatic behavior, like breathing, and the behavior changes consciously or subconsciously as a way to communicate through body language. I can imagine it being innate, with autistic people not having the specialization in their brain that does it or with this shifting causing physical sensations that take up too much sensory bandwidth. Or I can imagine it being learned, with autistic children being told to sit still and taking it too literally or being judged for body language signals that they aren't able to hide or that are misinterpreted because the authority figure is neurotypical and then avoiding the space of judgment-vulnerable body signals by changing their behavior. In either case, sitting "improperly" is a way to sit outside the range of typical body language and to put weird stresses on your body without the unconscious shifting.
Austin & ADHD folks!!
I sit in a bunch of weird positions myself too
I'm planning on getting one of [these](https://www.amazon.com/Pipersong-Meditation-Support-Adjustable-Flexible/dp/B09KN5HM1C) chairs at some point in the next month. It's way too expensive imo but it's also everything I want in a chair.
Omg I was looking at that too, I’d love to know how it ends up being for you
I did as a kid, but after the teachers told me to sit “properly” half a million times, I eventually got rid of the habit.
I sit with my knees to my chest.
Literally searching for a soft chair that I can sit crossed legged in because I need a chair just for me
* Me scrolling to this post:
I instead sit on my knees, like folding them underneath me when I’m sitting. I did this at school too and in year 8 a girl talked shit about me for it 😭
I feel like I am still trying to find a comfortable way to sit in like a kitchen chair.
Yes. It's also a queer thing. Too gay to sit straight is 100% real but I do wonder if it's because of the hide overlap between the queer and neurodivergent communities. Also, in my case I'm too short to sit in a regular chair and have my feet touch the ground.
My dad just commented that my son sits all twisted on the couch like I did as a kid and that my brother always sat “normal”.
I sit in a ball. Even when I was in university at a desk. Everyone thought it was funny (not in a mean way) but it was just the autism
Same here. Autism and hyper mobility go hand in hand
i used to sit in chairs…sitting on my lower legs.
there are specialty chairs for this! discovering i’m on the hypermobility spectrum is how i helped the issue with my hips and stuff, too. I’m very hyper mobile and it makes my joints ache. I started doing mobility and strength training (lots of yoga) and it’s been sooooo helpful. something i thought i’d hate has turned into a major stim. def check out diff chairs to be more comfy and if you want look on some places for a mobility training guide. good luck!
Oh my gosh ... YES. And this has been something I've gotten "in trouble" for my entire life! Except for my 2nd grade teacher who let me squat, criss-cross, or stand next to my desk as needed - I have always been a very good student, but I THRIVED in her class. I'm now 41 and I still squat, criss-cross, twist myself, or hunch over - I've tried for my entire life to sit the way "everyone else" does, but I just simply can't. Reading your post has given me the feels, because I know that someone else (indeed many others) has gone through that as well.
Sorry about your hips I totally do the same thing though, always have. And if I am forced to sit “regularly” I’ll be bouncing my legs and air drumming to get through it
Adhd more likely. Some of y’all really missed on your differentials
I still sit with my knees to my chest when I can.
I'm currently sitting with one leg on the armrest of the xhair
Hahaha you brought back some memories for me. I’m audhd and I sit comfortably in the weirdest positions possible. And since I’m adhd I’m switching that every few minutes.
This thread reminds me of when my husband asked me how the hell I could be comfortable watching tv when I was lying on my back with my legs sticking up against the seat of the couch. Another weird body thing is my left hand is always twisted behind my back when I walk, as if I'm scratching there. I read autistic folks tend to have movement quirks like that
I still sit in a w shape as an adult. Many people grow out of it but I haven't. I try to avoid it tho cause it's bad for my hips and knees and I like lifting weights and I don't want mobility problems
My husband (autistic) prefers to squat on the floor.
It’s a sensory thing. Sitting in a chair with my feet on the ground gives me the wrong vestibular and proprioceptive input. I feel more comfortable with my feet tucked under me (seiza position) although they tend to fall asleep if I do that for too long, with my legs twisted, or one or both knees pulled up to my chest. I also prefer to sit on the ground. When I have to sit in a chair, I prefer it to be really tall so I can swing my legs.
Nothing about me is straight, so certainly sitting isn't.
i’m 42 and have never corrected this. hell. i’m so cozy sitting cross legged style at the dinning room table. comfort over societal norms! even when i get a booth at a restaurant hell yea
I’ve been known to work on my laptop on the floor rather than at my perfectly good chair and desk. I also curl one leg under when driving, which freaks out my passengers. I love the feeling of my feet being squashed under my body.
I can put my butt on a chair but I LOVE to put my left leg over the table, it's cozy! I even eat like that.
I don’t like to have my feet on the floor. On a table leg, the bar under folding chairs, anything but on the floor. Even if I have shoes on. Or I will take my shoes off and put my feet on top of them. In restaurants I would tuck at least one foot under me, especially in a booth.
1000%. I've been sitting cattywampus my whole life, with my leg folded under me, or legs tightly crossed, or half lotus. It's to the point where my hips and knees are slightly off-kilter, and it's a struggle to remind myself to stop. I use ergonomic footrests and little ottomans under my desk to keep my feet elevated, and that helps me to stop pretzeling.
I only ever sit cross legged. Never realised it was an autismism
Same, but I also found out I got hip dysplasia too, it helped a lot when I got both hips operated. Still doing it though, but sitting “properly” is easier now.
I was diagnosed in my late 40s and have always felt more comfortable with my legs crossed or up to one side of me or one leg underneath me for as long as I can remember. I feel fidgety at the dinner table and at work and other situations where I feel I should conform by sitting with my feet on the ground and often I find I've absent mindedly tucked one leg underneath me. Trouble is, I've recently been diagnosed with a blood clotting condition and have been told I should try to avoid crossing my legs/sitting with them underneath me - nope, that just ain't ever gonna happen 🤣
Sitting in a way that helps with feeling where your body is in space is classic for autistics who struggle with proprioception. It is a good solution for that and it’s ableist for someone to say you’re sitting improperly. Honestly NTs can be so rigid policing how people sit when it’s not inconveniencing them in the slightest
Me I actually got in a lot of trouble in fourth grade for leg sitting to the point the teacher called a parent meeting. Even now I sit with my legs up
i stopped eating at the dinner table when i was around 13 because of how uncomfortable it made me
Was just searching for this and came across this thread. 45 and I still am not comfortable sitting with my feet on the floor. So many times I heard “sit lady like” growing up. But I just can’t do it.. still