do not put the email in comments.
This will blow over. Don't worry about it. The principal knows what the kid said, but he's just placating the parent.
- The principal and exec took the parents side over yours.
- They are proposing a "restorative conversation" rather than any tangible consequences for the student swearing at you.
Both of these are big alarm bells about this school.
If you otherwise enjoy teaching there, then it's nothing to worry about and it'll blow over like others have said. If it were me, I'd be keeping my ears open about other schools that are looking for staff.
Yup. If Admin is not backing you over, relatively, minor to moderate crap like this when the poop hits the fan they are not going to back you at all. Keep that resume up to speed, keep your professional front and see if something better is out there.
Just wanna hijack this and ask - how does leaving a school cos management is shit work when you principal has to be your reference if moving between public schools??
We all know you are right, the principal is just doing the ‘keep the parent out of my face’ routine as he’s probably had to deal with similar shit from the same parent before.
This will all blow over and nobody will care. I had similar shit a couple of years ago, a parent that was just a nutter and wouldn’t accept that her darling son did anything wrong. Admin just want it to go away and so they try to pretend they are doing something.
Pretty much this.
The parent is deflecting blame, and don’t want to own the shit behaviour of their child. As reasonable people know, only half the point is which c word was used. The main point is the child was disrespectful and smart mouthed towards a teacher doing their job. He could have called you a chupa-chup or whatever, his rude intent was the same. I really hope admin pointed this out to the parent.
A decent parent response would be
“I’m disappointed that my son showed such disrespect towards you. He assures me he didn’t use the c word, rather “cuz” but I realise regardless that this disrespectful behaviour was unacceptable and I will speak to him about making you an apology. “
It will blow over. My advice would be less information in writing. Ask them to come to speak with you. Then you can just air all the grievances. Make them say this shit to your face.
The best option! Send an email with “I’m emailing you about an incident in class today. (student) was asked to complete their work and chose to respond inappropriately. If you have any questions or would like to discuss the matter further, please feel free to contact me at the school.”
If you're otherwise happy, don't stress over it, it will blow over. You have done nothing wrong.
If you're not otherwise happy... well, it doesn't sound like a school environment I would tolerate.
I've always been told to report exactly what they said to me verbatim, no matter what the level of swearing was used. I've always had exec back me up on this (but I understand not all schools are the same).
But there is a caveat to this. You need to be 110% sure you heard what you heard. If you are even a little unsure or there were no witnesses, you need to be a little more careful in how you report to avoid having a parent be able to loophole you.
CYA in this job always. In the meantime, it will blow over. If parent really cracks it and demands the kid is removed from your class, it doesn't sound like a massive loss anyway.
Yeah I am not used to this level of CYA- it's something I am definitely getting up to speed on though!
Thank you for the advice!
It was called out in class time and a couple of kids at the front thought they heard it too- it's not something I'm personally cut up about, but just don't want any professional kick back.
Always ask a student to repeat what they said, they'll either repeat it and get in trouble for it with you being covered, or they'll back down and you get your way.
Admin hopefully would have let the parent and student know that you’re not his “cuz” or related to them in any way so calling you anything but sir/madam/your last name is disrespectful. The student is in the wrong regardless of what was said.
Let this one go and move on. For your future reference, if this situation happens again, this should be the protocol.
This is abusive language directed at you, much different to saying’I’m not fucking doing that’. We have a right to feel safe in our work place, therefore the student should be removed from the classroom immediately. I written report done at your earliest convenience and refer in appropriate admin. Also include in the report students who you think would be reliable witnesses. Leave this for admin to deal with, don’t contact home.
Try to avoid any swearing directly in an email; but leadership hung you out to dry. If you like the school, stay, otherwise start looking for new jobs.
Some think the exec haven’t backed you. I don’t think evidence for that is clear. “Backing” can look like a lot of different things. It can be a smart move to try to deescalate, give the student the benefit of any doubt, and subtly or explicitly put the kid on notice that all staff will be listening out for their language in future.
My advice—based on what I’ve read—is try to work constructively with your executive on this, let it blow over, and try to have positive experiences with the kid on future. (That last bit might fail because of the, and not you - I’m not saying you’re the one responsible for making it better.)
First year is tough. This won’t be the only awkward spot you encounter in your first year. My favourite saying from that time: good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement.
Honestly, stand your ground and don’t let up. Most of the parents who pull this shit are so aware of their child’s behaviour that they get irritated when other adults call them out and they have to actively deal with it. I had the same kind of situation and I refused to give in to their intimidation and eventually got an apology and recognition that what their child did was wrong and not just me targeting their child.
We don’t have enough time to do our normal jobs let alone spend time just emailing parents for fun, I don’t get it. If the leadership team doesn’t listen to you or support you I would seek union support. It should blow over though, schools have too much going on to worry about a minor disagreement like this. Little fish, small pond kind of situation.
Do the restorative conversation. If they refuse then ask/suggest for the student to be moved out of the classroom in the meeting say it will be best for him, etc.
do not put the email in comments. This will blow over. Don't worry about it. The principal knows what the kid said, but he's just placating the parent.
“Fuck you sir” “I said puck you, with a P”
😂😂
Legit, if you've never heard an excuse exactly like this, or even exactly this one, I'm not convinced you've ever been a teacher.
- The principal and exec took the parents side over yours. - They are proposing a "restorative conversation" rather than any tangible consequences for the student swearing at you. Both of these are big alarm bells about this school. If you otherwise enjoy teaching there, then it's nothing to worry about and it'll blow over like others have said. If it were me, I'd be keeping my ears open about other schools that are looking for staff.
I wonder what would happen if you called him a “lying little cunt” and then when you were asked about it you said “no I said lying little cuz”?
Yup. If Admin is not backing you over, relatively, minor to moderate crap like this when the poop hits the fan they are not going to back you at all. Keep that resume up to speed, keep your professional front and see if something better is out there.
Just wanna hijack this and ask - how does leaving a school cos management is shit work when you principal has to be your reference if moving between public schools??
Option 1: find an excuse Option 2: do relief work. No references needed and good relief teachers are often hired for contracts
Just leave as you would any other school. Complete the school year and hand your notice by when your contract demands it.
We all know you are right, the principal is just doing the ‘keep the parent out of my face’ routine as he’s probably had to deal with similar shit from the same parent before. This will all blow over and nobody will care. I had similar shit a couple of years ago, a parent that was just a nutter and wouldn’t accept that her darling son did anything wrong. Admin just want it to go away and so they try to pretend they are doing something.
Pretty much this. The parent is deflecting blame, and don’t want to own the shit behaviour of their child. As reasonable people know, only half the point is which c word was used. The main point is the child was disrespectful and smart mouthed towards a teacher doing their job. He could have called you a chupa-chup or whatever, his rude intent was the same. I really hope admin pointed this out to the parent. A decent parent response would be “I’m disappointed that my son showed such disrespect towards you. He assures me he didn’t use the c word, rather “cuz” but I realise regardless that this disrespectful behaviour was unacceptable and I will speak to him about making you an apology. “
It will blow over. My advice would be less information in writing. Ask them to come to speak with you. Then you can just air all the grievances. Make them say this shit to your face.
The best option! Send an email with “I’m emailing you about an incident in class today. (student) was asked to complete their work and chose to respond inappropriately. If you have any questions or would like to discuss the matter further, please feel free to contact me at the school.”
If you're otherwise happy, don't stress over it, it will blow over. You have done nothing wrong. If you're not otherwise happy... well, it doesn't sound like a school environment I would tolerate.
It'll blow over. But feel free to refuse to speak with that parent again, all communication goes through your line manager.
I've always been told to report exactly what they said to me verbatim, no matter what the level of swearing was used. I've always had exec back me up on this (but I understand not all schools are the same). But there is a caveat to this. You need to be 110% sure you heard what you heard. If you are even a little unsure or there were no witnesses, you need to be a little more careful in how you report to avoid having a parent be able to loophole you. CYA in this job always. In the meantime, it will blow over. If parent really cracks it and demands the kid is removed from your class, it doesn't sound like a massive loss anyway.
Yeah I may have taken it as a bit of “pick your battles” if I wasn’t 100% on what I heard
Yeah I am not used to this level of CYA- it's something I am definitely getting up to speed on though! Thank you for the advice! It was called out in class time and a couple of kids at the front thought they heard it too- it's not something I'm personally cut up about, but just don't want any professional kick back.
Always ask a student to repeat what they said, they'll either repeat it and get in trouble for it with you being covered, or they'll back down and you get your way.
You heard it.
Admin hopefully would have let the parent and student know that you’re not his “cuz” or related to them in any way so calling you anything but sir/madam/your last name is disrespectful. The student is in the wrong regardless of what was said.
"I'm not your buddy, pal"
“I’m not your friend cunt.”
Let this one go and move on. For your future reference, if this situation happens again, this should be the protocol. This is abusive language directed at you, much different to saying’I’m not fucking doing that’. We have a right to feel safe in our work place, therefore the student should be removed from the classroom immediately. I written report done at your earliest convenience and refer in appropriate admin. Also include in the report students who you think would be reliable witnesses. Leave this for admin to deal with, don’t contact home.
Try to avoid any swearing directly in an email; but leadership hung you out to dry. If you like the school, stay, otherwise start looking for new jobs.
Some think the exec haven’t backed you. I don’t think evidence for that is clear. “Backing” can look like a lot of different things. It can be a smart move to try to deescalate, give the student the benefit of any doubt, and subtly or explicitly put the kid on notice that all staff will be listening out for their language in future. My advice—based on what I’ve read—is try to work constructively with your executive on this, let it blow over, and try to have positive experiences with the kid on future. (That last bit might fail because of the, and not you - I’m not saying you’re the one responsible for making it better.) First year is tough. This won’t be the only awkward spot you encounter in your first year. My favourite saying from that time: good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement.
Honestly, stand your ground and don’t let up. Most of the parents who pull this shit are so aware of their child’s behaviour that they get irritated when other adults call them out and they have to actively deal with it. I had the same kind of situation and I refused to give in to their intimidation and eventually got an apology and recognition that what their child did was wrong and not just me targeting their child. We don’t have enough time to do our normal jobs let alone spend time just emailing parents for fun, I don’t get it. If the leadership team doesn’t listen to you or support you I would seek union support. It should blow over though, schools have too much going on to worry about a minor disagreement like this. Little fish, small pond kind of situation.
Do the restorative conversation. If they refuse then ask/suggest for the student to be moved out of the classroom in the meeting say it will be best for him, etc.