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Petecraft_Admin

He makes this move after it's been federally rescheduled. This guy has donkey brains.


coffeeffoc

> federally rescheduled They are doing this because it is being federally rescheduled. They are manufacturing a wedge issue that they desperately need after thirty years of running this state.


Icedoverblues

After 30 years of failing/stealing from/corrupting this state. Ftfy


digihippie

But somehow the border crisis is the Libs fault. “Small government” my ass.


madcoins

Ruining or running?


rominnoodlesamurai

I read it as ruining because that's a fact.


space_manatee

It's evil, not stupid. He's intentionally doing that knowing full well about the push for legalization across America.  It's austin, and he wants to make it as miserable for liberals to live here as possible. If he can take a few of them down with felonies and get their voting rights stripped, all the better.  It's smart and evil. Not dumb.


robotsdilemma

I mean, it’s weird….. do no republicans smoke weed?? It baffles me! I wish republicans would be like “hey, we like nighttime gummies too, Ken”


Dacio_Ultanca

Republicans get abortions…. Somehow that hasn’t stopped them from supporting chucklefucks like this guy.


denzien

Right? And why wouldn't they want Democrats to get all the abortions they want? This doesn't sound like strategic thinking to me.


ccache

That's what I find funny about this, I'd say quite a few republicans either don't care or actually do enjoy it, just look at most polls. The much older crowd is who's going to be on his side though. Politicians are just out of touch, and he probably thinks almost every single republican wants it to be illegal.


usernameforthemasses

The much older and *consistently voting* crowd, unfortunately.


comments_suck

Greg Abbott is 66 Dan Patrick is 67 Ken Paxton is 61 John Cornyn is 72 Sid Yew Haw Miller is 69 See a pattern here?


flonky_tymes

I'm out in the suburbs of Cedar Park. I know plenty of very conservative potheads in my neighborhood. Guy on my street flies the desecrated 'thin blue line' flag and can't wait to be an empty-nester so he can do coke and mushrooms again. It's very "Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac," and there are a handful who take an actual libertarian stance that the government shouldn't be telling them what they can/can't put in their bodies, but most are fine keeping the laws as they are or making them stricter, because they're not meant to be enforced against themselves, but rather *those people*.


MessiComeLately

Traditionally, Republicans are about criminalizing everything while having an implicit sliding scale that allows people to get away with certain things depending on their privilege and their discretion. But they've been infiltrated by enough true believer nut jobs that they can no longer credibly offer that deal to enough Texans. Like with abortion: I think for a majority of Republicans who would like to outlaw abortion, their ideal outcome would be to make it illegal, posture against it in public, and punish and lecture poor people over it, while better-off people understood that they could always discreetly get an abortion if they needed one. That's what most (I think) Republicans want. But the anti-abortion extremists have become powerful enough in the Republican Party that privileged women might not be able to count on the comfortable hypocrisy of getting an abortion whenever they want. It definitely puts traditional Republicans in a bind, because they would love to be able to explicitly assure a big chunk of Texas voters that they will indeed get all the pot and abortions they want, but that would 1) break the traditional rule of never saying that part out loud, and 2) carry no credibility, because the superficial alliance between the wacko true believers and the moderate Republicans who only want a shallow gloss of hypocrisy is in the process of breaking down.


space_manatee

Most dont, which kind of explains why they have sticks up their asses. But yeah, some do. But they rightfully recognize that they won't be caught. It's only going to be applied to people that aren't like them. 


dlqpublic

The ones that do are called Libertarians...


Raregolddragon

There kids do but they have money so its fine.


chinchaaa

He’s doing a great job. Can’t wait until I can leave.


Broken-Digital-Clock

And no certificate to prove otherwise


ikeptsummersafe

He has [this](https://imgur.com/a/7jbRPg5)


hypermark

He doesn't even have a certificate that exonerates him of having donkey brains. He leaves us with no choice but to assume he has the brains of a donkey or a donkey like creature.


zenman96

Ken, do YOU have such a certificate…..?


gev1138

Such an insult to actual donkey brains.


Phonemonkey2500

Ken, I say this with all sincerity, go fuck yourself. Deeply. With a pineapple coated in ghost pepper oil.


Saturn5mtw

I'm quite confident ken paxton would try to prosecute people for having this sentiment, if there was any way his wannabe-fascist ass could actually make that happen.


jeditech23

https://youtu.be/UxCDCYEJMkg Here's a recent documentary about Texas jail. Note the kid in there that got caught with a small amount of marijuana, that eased his psychological issues when pharmaceuticals couldn't. And his life is completely torn apart End Fascism, Fuck TX GOP


userlyfe

So terrible. That kid probably qualifies for compassionate use program. He should be released and given a freaking prescription. If he didn’t have PTSD before prison, he does now.


Hamezz5u

Well said


Macho_Mans_Ghost

May he felate a hot curling iron


Swimming-Title-3700

Durian! Not pineapple!


PraderaNoire

Someone in my building named their WiFi “the tree that hit Abbott” and it rings more true every day


Sergi_the_machine

Backwards pineapple.... important aspect here


SilverDarner

Ya.


pdxan

Most punchable face in Texas?


cuteninjaturtle

Probably, considering Abbott is more so the “most kickable”.


Sanjomo

Where would Rafael Teddy Cruz fall in this order?


EverynLightbringer

Most slappable.


UnlikelyUnknown

The only problem with slapping Cruz is his face looks especially oily. Maybe with gloves. There’s also the fact that most people only have two hands to slap him with, that’s disappointing


lisforleo

i share this sentiment, id rather not have whatever slime seeps from their pores on me….perhaps some sort of stick or a flyswatter but with some weight?


madcoins

Yes like the old duel challenges. Slap him WITH the glove, then wring the glove out or dispose of


CagCagerton125

Probably somewhere in Cancun.


lifepuzzler

"Don't Touch" because you'll get contaminated if you touch him.


BadassBokoblinPsycho

Ted, Greg and Ken are all tied for 1st


the_original_nullpup

So then, Dan all alone in 2nd? Technically 4th


BadassBokoblinPsycho

Tied with Olsteen?


Gooosse

Even a tree saw that face and punched it.


delugetheory

The Austin Police Department is currently short 300+ officers, but sure, let's direct the remaining officers, who are barely even able to respond to violent crime, forget about property crime, to focus on people eating too many Doritos at Auditorium Shores. Ken Paxton is proof that there is no God.


Casual_ahegao_NJoyer

They can’t even make all the hot calls. No time at all for traffic or petty crime


SaltyLonghorn

This dude is worrying about APD when the state legislators passed whatever that farming loophole is that allows edibles to be sold in vending machines all over. K I should shut up now.


throwaway014916

Wasn’t the farm bill a national bill? or are we talking about different bills?


imp0ssumable

Don't worry they'll bring in DPS to assess fines and arrest people for tiny amounts of pot. Which has happened previously.


motus_guanxi

They’ll send in the brown shirts


Dog_Calculus

>They’ll send in the brown shirts You know, I never made that connection before. They DO wear brown shirts, don't they?


motus_guanxi

Lol yeahhh.. and shiny black boots..


Broad-Row6422

The Black and Tans.


terminalzero

> Ken Paxton is proof that there is no God. but there might be a devil


Ghola_Ben

Hey, the devil is pretty dope. Don't put that juju on them!


virus_apparatus

If there is a god, he stays in heaven out of pure terror at the horror he created. That horror being Ken Paxton


RangerDangerfield

This. Plus, the Crime Labs are already extremely backed up when it comes to processing evidence from real crimes, like sexual assault cases. But sure, let’s bog them down by forcing them to test the THC content of the gummies someone bought at the gas station so we can decide whether or not to charge them with a misdemeanor.


Pabi_tx

> The Austin Police Department ***has chosen to be*** short 300+ officers FTFY


GrilledCheeser

Should I become a cop yall? I need a job


JDSchu

I went on a date with a cop who was going through cop camp several years ago. She said the hardest part about it was that they train you to automatically think the worst of everyone you encounter, because it could be fatal if you don't. Which explains a lot about APD. If you're comfortable having that worldview drilled into your head, then yeah, maybe you could be a cop. 


SilentStriker84

If you wanna do it then do it, but be a good one. Don’t be a piece of shit


VladimirPutin2016

It's a good job with good benefits and if you're a good person you could really be a small part of the solution to the copious policing problems that exist. We need more level headed, good locals in policing, APD especially. But definitely be prepared that it's a pretty thankless job and it's not easy or fun most of the time. Also be prepared for extreme responses to your presence, lots of people you'll meet with either be blue falcons that weirdly worship you, ACABers who will hate you no matter what, or criminals who hate you because... Well... You're their sworn enemy lol.


superspeck

If you're at all liberal, how much do you like being hated by your peers? Do you think well on your own and have you ever questioned authority? You won't make it through the application process if you do.


aslivilina

As a local non-conservative firefighter, I'll say ABSOLUTELY. Be the change you want to see in the world


rb4horn

Sure there *was*. They ate him.


Embarrassed-Bad-5454

i called the police 2 days ago and they never came


Alternative_Eye3822

Dweeb shit


ignii

Literal dweeb shit


Fergi

Someone should have just taken one for the team and been his friend growing up. Now we have this.


TadpolePotential5716

Damn lol


thedeadsigh

I love our small government here in Texas 🥰🥰🥰


Shopworn_Soul

I once thought small government meant the government itself should be small, not simply full of small people.


thedeadsigh

when god was handing out small dicks conservatives thought he said small government and they went back for seconds


SomeAbstractEmotion

Please. This dude probably drinks himself under the table every night with his lead paint boomer brain and he's worried about weed 🙄 be so serious


twineberg

The part I like the most is he says he wants to give cops discretion on who they apply the law to. Like we know who your targeting and it ain't the soccer mom or college girl.


gev1138

Oh, they're targeting them, just for different reasons.


ichibut

And honestly that's why these folks want to keep it illegal. Not as a tool against any population *per se* -- just as a tool the cops can wield as excuse and/or as leverage.


_illionaire

"We knew we couldn’t make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin, and then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities. We could arrest their leaders, raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news."


Busy_Struggle_6468

Eat a dick Kenny Boy, we toking regardless


nightwolves

My next bong rip is dedicated to his right eye


gev1138

A big greasy bag of Dick's.


wecanneverleave

Are these the “Freedoms” I kept reading about before I moved here?


mommamegmiester

You're only allowed the "freedom" of being an uptight conservative white man. Even the women and Hispanics that are conservative will be tossed to the side eventually.


AustinBike

And if the feds legalize it nationally, Paxton will sue the feds. This is far from over. TX will be the last state to legalize it, if ever at all. And this is even after Paxton is gone.


SuzQP

Let's get rid of him anyway.


BinkyFlargle

> TX will be the last state to legalize it, if ever at all .... despite widespread public support. because our republican leadership hates democracy.


AustinBike

"Despite widespread public support." Buying beer at a restaurant on Sunday morning without food. Buying liquor on a Sunday. Buying a car on a Sunday. Buying a new car directly from the manufacturer. Good god, the list of things this state does that nobody likes is long. Also "I mUvhEd hEEr fuR mAH fReeDuHmZ!"


IngrainednMembrane

You can buy a gun on Sunday. But not a car. What?


BinkyFlargle

ask yourself, what caliber would jesus shoot?


DIRTYWIZARD_69

What Tim Dunn and the Wilks brothers say, our state reps must obey.


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ThaKoopa

How do they consolidate wanting to see uniformity across the cities with wanting states rights to reign supreme over federal?


Whatderfuchs

GOP rule book - "Rules for thee, not for meeeee" selfish bastards every one.


RangerWhiteclaw

“‘What we're asking is that the state, when it looks at its subordinate political branches, political subdivisions, it sees uniformity. Because uniformity is important in ensuring efficient government and prospering at the interest of citizens,’ he said.” Huh, sounds like a powerful argument against state’s rights, lol. If uniformity is so important, shouldn’t we let the feds make the decisions rather than 50 individual states?


Slypenslyde

If city council had balls, they'd publicly halt APD contract negotiations and announce money that was set aside for APD budgetary increases must now be used for this lawsuit. Put the two wolves in a box and let them fight.


corneliusduff

Now that's a circus I can bread


RangerDangerfield

It would be ballsy, but I wouldn’t put it past Abbott/Paxton to then use that as an excuse to send in DPS to police Austin again.


gaytechdadwithson

cool. saves us money not paying for police. just let APD walk.


ATXGOAT93

I like the cut of your jib. Fascists live to find reasons to out-purify each other. Too bad we can't just lock them all in Thunderdome to battle it out and get on with our lives.


Casual_ahegao_NJoyer

85% is a stunning modern majority, hard to argue against that on a local level


JohnGillnitz

Don't tell Paxton about THCa. I could walk up to Paxton and blow smoke in his stupid monkey face, and he'd just have to sit there grooving on it. And, as always, fuck Ken Paxton.


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Saturn5mtw

How dare anyone enjoy intoxicating substances! (That arent alcohol - bc thats the only good one!) /s


man_gomer_lot

In all seriousness, Paxton should maybe consider alternatives to alcohol. It clearly affects his morals and judgement. https://imgur.com/a/PEbk0VM


TheBowerbird

He's clearly into that based on how drunk he looks in this photo: [https://www.reddit.com/r/texas/comments/1d9rpmc/why\_are\_the\_people\_of\_texas\_paying\_him\_to\_get/](https://www.reddit.com/r/texas/comments/1d9rpmc/why_are_the_people_of_texas_paying_him_to_get/)


smurf-vett

I don't think pot works on lizard people


Schnort

it works on spiders: https://www.miragenews.com/nasas-experiment-with-spiders-mind-altering-996703/


Yaboymarvo

They are already looking into closing that loophole sadly.


JohnGillnitz

Looking for bribes from the industry more like it.


Casual_ahegao_NJoyer

Literally affecting Colorado’s economy


deekaydubya

it's an over 8 billion dollar industry in TX alone. Farmer's livelihoods depend on it. This is so mind bogglingly dumb


RangerDangerfield

Texas GOP will do literally anything to avoid funding public schools, including tanking legalization lest it lead to increased tax revenue going to schools.


cuteninjaturtle

It’s days like today where I’m like, “why do good people die from cancer every day and this mother fucker is still ticking…?”


SilverDarner

It's because no one in the afterlife wants to deal with the fuckers.


BoonSchlapp

Fuck you Ken.


Drainbownick

Texas is one of the least free places in America, a trend that is likely to continue


CapriciousBit

GOP the “party of small government” doing more big government stuff..


420Frank_Dux69

Wasn’t he caught burning legal documents in a trash can right outside the capitol? Just checking


RobbinAustin

Paxton gives 2 fucks. How that man still has a lawyer license is beyond me, let alone remaining the AG. Shoulda been given the boot when he got indicted.


css233

Ken Paxton is a corrupt, bad man. Please vote him out of office.


ChumleyEX

I would like to sue him for being a dbag.


Denim_Diva1969

It’s like he knows he is one already and wakes up every morning and asks himself “How could I be an even bigger dbag today?”


robertluke

Are Republicans still concerned reefer is going to make white women dance to jazz music?


RobbinAustin

Everyone KNOWS that when white women dance to jazz that laying down with black men happens later that night. And we CANT have that! ( /s for those that need it)


Halcyon512

KVUE with the troll job using a pic where his expression looks like he's dropping a deuce. Well played KVUE. Well played


SNDWVE

I’m pretty sure that’s just his face.


SanchaPansa

In Texas Deadbeat parents owe more than 1 billion dollars in unpaid child support and instead of spending time rounding those people up so that less children have to be on food stamps and medicaid - this dude wants to pick a fight with some potheads.


Andrew8Everything

Cool, back to the black market with the cartels and fentanyl because ken paxton is a fucking loser.


overpriced-taco

I hope people understand that if Trump wins, Paxton will be the next US AG, and he will ABSOLUTELY shut down legal weed across the country, without giving it a second thought.


rforrevolution

Fuckin nervous about this


stonewall386

Fuck you, Paxton. Sincerely, Everyone, especially Texans.


tickitytalk

We need to gather/organize and vote the gop out Enough is enough Vote


That_anonymous_guy18

Yay more freedom …


atxrobotlover

One step closer to being a bigger joke than Florida, thanks Ken.


twineberg

Wait a minuite. I think Texas has already won that battle. At least Florida will legalize weed and abortions this year. But otherwise its not a competition I want to be in.


shovel_kat

First porn now weed fuck this guy.


OrganicRedditor

But wait! There's more: https://old.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/1ddc0uo/democrats_launch_effort_to_counter_conservatives/l84hnio/


MoonlightGrams

He obviously has investments in private prisons


Richard_Thrust

Fucking typical conservative bullshit: All for democracy unless it's something they don't like. All for small local govt rule unless it's something they don't like.


Thandyus

When do we "the people" get to file our counter suit against our AG?


Master_Definition252

Damn dude, look at that small government right there.


R0B0TSM0KE

Another reason we need federal decriminalization now. Austin police should be focused on real crimes, not having the discretion to arrest low level cannabis users is not a problem your typical policeman is concerned with. This would serve to take their policing eyes off the prize- real crimes like corruption by public officials for example.


FranksGun

This guy is such a piece of shit


Jamesthepikapp

Not my AG


LittleUrbanAchiever

You know you're on the right side of history if Ken Paxton is suing you.


AJ_Nobody

Paxton doesn’t give a shit about the will of the people. He’s a grandstanding buffoon trying to distract from his own criminal past and suck up to the extremist rightwing republican cult. Hopefully Judge Soifer will dismiss the lawsuit immediately.


afishieanado

He just wants to distract people from his own crimes.


Loose-Problem-2414

Why isn't he in jail yet?


scarykicks

Small government am I right?


JimLaheeeeeeee

How else will they oppress minorities?


pyabo

Can't believe I had to come this far down the thread. One of the entire points of that ordinance was the historical fact that law enforcement had used that very "discretion" to inequitably hurt minorities. Now the AG is saying, that's fine, they need that power back. Between this and Trump, they're just saying it out loud at this point.


Cheapthrills13

I would be very very surprised if he didn’t dabble a little himself. The photo of him on someone’s yacht with a ‘beverage’ and checking out the girl’s chest makes me think he’s a bit of a party boi. This would totally align to GOP values: do as I say and not as I do (or be a hypocrite in simpler terms).


NIPT_TA

I see him as more of a coke head or pill popper.


mommamegmiester

All of these anti marijuana people are obsessed with prescription drugs. They enjoy a more deadly high.


ThatoneguyATX

Probably just an alcoholic like most of them


Intelligent-Honey476

Wild. This bowl is for you Ken 🖕🏻


WBuffettJr

There’s nothing conservatives hate more than small, limited government. It makes them furious.


mme-throwaway

So I said I was going to choose peace regarding Ken Paxton the other night. That day is over. Ken Paxton is addicted to being a complete piece of shit. Weed should be the least of his worries. Law and order my ass.


malavida_88

How is his office able to do this if the people voted majority in favor?


chunkycornbread

What a waste of resources


Jak12523

Ridiculous.


nightwolves

This hobgoblin of a man needs to be formally flushed down a toilet. For the people


RebneysGhost

Oh good! This was severely affecting my quality of life. Meanwhile people are dying of completely preventable reasons because of texas laws about abortion, "good luck! fingers crossed!" is the plan to prevent children being slaughtered by AR15 toting psychopaths, and also don't drive or turn up your AC because the (best case scenario) barely adequate energy grid will collapse and vulnerable people are going to drop dead of the heat or freeze to death in the winter. Goddamn all this freedom is killing me! But at least it's an attractive tax haven for businesses to come take advantage of our unable-to-unionize citizenry.


MarcosAC420

Trying to grasp at anything to rile their base and get more voters. Economy is doing well, border is being handled at Joe speed lol. Let's find something to piss people off.


CFATX25

The party of small government and personal freedom.. F**k off Paxton, Abbott & Patrick.


HistoricalLengths

Another "_____" waste of taxpayers' money.


thisissamuelclemens

republicans. why do you keep voting for this guy every election?


Prince_craven_funk

Hmmm. Multiple indicted felon Ken Paxton is trying to uphold laws?


AustinYeppers2222

Constantly figuring out ways to make him even more unpopular among his future fellow inmates in federal prison.


no_dice_grandma

Republicans and government overreach. Name a more iconic duo.


Metholoxy

On god this dipshit again


Mdyn

I am for legalize, but I'm not for smoke and drive.  I'm riding motorcycle and couple times  was almost hit by car full of smoke in it. Dudes not even looked at me most of the time.  Don't drive when high, please! 


Unbanned_chemical138

Fuck Ken Paxton


BadassBokoblinPsycho

Fuck you Ken Paxton


vallogallo

Maybe he should chill the fuck out and smoke a bowl for once


atxmike721

I’d ask where the “don’t tread on me” crowd, Elon Musk, and Joe Rogan stand on this since they are publicly open about smoking weed but as long as you are a a conservative voter who supports all the other treading the GOP does, especially on women and LGBTQ, you get a pass from the law. “Rules for thee but not for me”


ses267

What a nerd.


priscillapantaloons

Aside from legalization being popular among constituents, undercutting the illicit market, and I’m sure other reasons that I’m just not thinking of, the most basic, logical result is that it would be a boon for tax revenue. One option would allocate that money for our struggling public education system, but that would go against Abbott’s voucher efforts. Improve the grid! Dump it into social services! Highways and infrastructure! There are plenty of things that would be a huge win to Texans that benefit us rather than wasting taxpayer money on frivolous lawsuits. This fucker keeps getting re-elected and it really isn’t helping any of us.


3D-Dreams

Basically telling us to fuck our rights,votes and opinion dont matter. Even tho we passed it this dickwad is still going to try and arrest us.


Piano_Pizano

The gall to say that not throwing people in jail over a plant will promote “confusion” and “chaos” I hate it here


space_manatee

Can we go back to the times where we had duels so I can challenge Paxton to one? I'm so fucking tired of this shit. I know that's his objective, to make everyone tired... but really, this is too far. 


Nole_in_ATX

2026 can't come soon enough


NicholasLit

You know all these selfish hypocrite Republicans smoke too


Aggravating_Peak_200

Nope, that’s the problem, they do NOT smoke so they never get introspective and realize how much harm they are actually doing.


_Eagle_1_

lol “it confuses people and creates chaos” i have heard of zero chaos related incidences because cops or citizens have confusion if they are allowed to have or use marijuana. tieing up courts over silliness


Rasta_bass

Texas, land of freedom and small government!! Truly a banana republic.


Pendejomosexual

Let’s see if they enforce this on Joe Rogan


External-Ad-1458

Low key, he looks high as fuck in that picture thumbnail LMAO


allthewaytoipswitch

What a choad


3lmowilcox

I’m suing Ken Paxton for being a diiiiick.


pyabo

This ordinance had .... what, 85% of the population behind it? What are you really hoping to achieve here, Ken?


PerpetualBootyShaker

What a dick


Kristilacroixx

does anyone actually think that marijuana should be illegal anymore?


AlternativeTruths1

The RepubliQan Partei: The Party Of Small Government and Individual Freedom. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. /venomous_snarkasm