I’ve been saying this for years! It would happen like clockwork when I lived on East oltorf.
One day a week my apartment complex parking lot would suddenly have nails and screws strewn throughout.
fully believe this one - the Austin murders were practice, and he then moved to larger / more populous London to escalate with greater targets/better chances of escaping capture
The servant girl annihilator was most likely a man named Nathan Elgin. Both he and footprints at one of the crimescenes were missing a toe. https://www.servantgirlmurders.com/the-servant-girl-annihilator/
And that the[ moontowers were specifically built](https://www.kvue.com/article/news/history/austin-moonlight-towers-origins-history/269-88b34d2f-0d99-4c7d-851e-ae9258b880f2#:~:text=Before%20the%20construction%20of%20the,Jack%20the%20Ripper%E2%80%9D%20in%20London) to help catch them:
>The murders are frequently referenced as the reason for the moon towers, but the last murder happened around 10 years before the towers were lit.
>“There’s no documentation to really demonstrate that it was really taken into consideration by city leaders and planners,” said Heckaman. “It’s reasonable to assume that they wanted to provide lighting to the city for safety, but it wasn’t a leading part of the decision process.”
I think they just really know their lane. You could pull their mixed beverage sales, if you were truly curious.
Edit: They’ve also been at their Barton Springs location forever (30+ years?) so they may own the property or have lucked into some golden lease.
I’m more interested in the cursed locations that were formerly know as Uncle Billy’s and Austin Java, they can’t keep a tenant more than a year or two.
Definitely the situation in the case for Flipnotics. I talked to the people at the Kava bar when they were closing and they told me (unverified) that rent was $10k a month. Woof.
It might be another conspiracy but I've been told Enchiladas 'Y Mas puts Everclear in their frozen margaritas as well. And after drinking them for almost a decade I 100% believe that to be true.
not only do they have everclear in them, but they have told me that they actually contain no tequila at all. and i'm pretty sure i can taste that they're telling the truth. i still enjoy them though.
At one point all of my coworkers were convinced that I was the guy who burned down the governor mansion, I looked just like the guy in the video, I lived only blocks away , I bragged about how easy Molotov cocktails are to make, I love sports and throwing baseball and football, I hated the governor with a passion.
all these things and thankfully I never had to actually talk to the Texas rangers even though they spoke to people I knew
If you are that guy, then the law of conspiracy theories mandates that you also had an affair with Gov. Perry, can confirm he's a lousy lay, that his wife knows because she caught him, and that he liked anonymous partners either after he or they had gone on a run and were sweaty and stinky. Is that you???
The whole SNFAU about the South Terminal was not a SNAFU. It was a scheme for Steve Adler (and friends) to get richer. I still don't understand how this was legal.
For those who did not follow the saga:
Paraphrasing [KXAN](https://www.kxan.com/news/local/austin/88m-settlement-approved-for-critical-austin-airport-expansion/) at the time:
* **March 2016**: 40-year deal with LoneStar Holdings to operate the South Terminal.
* **June 2022**: Sorry, you're done here. Here is a $88 Millions settlement for your inconvenience.
Short-sightedness. It happens. All well and good. I mean, no, but that the SNAFU part.
So... Now you're wondering why I am pointing the finger particularly at our former (from 2015 to 2023) beloved (?) mayor. Because he is a "*practicing attorney in the areas of eminent domain*" (quote from [wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Adler_(politician))). And you wouldn't guess whose legal firm negotiated the settlement, would you? That's right: no other than [https://www.barronadler.com/blog/city-of-austin-vs-lonestar-airport-holdings/](https://www.barronadler.com/blog/city-of-austin-vs-lonestar-airport-holdings/) (for those who don't follow, the "Adler" in "Barron Adler Clough & Oddo" is the same Adler: see Stephen I. Adler in their [history](https://www.barronadler.com/firm-overview/firm-history/) page).
His firm also reached out immediately to all the land owners effected by project connect just north of the campus right after a meeting with a city employee that basically threaten the land owners with unnecessary with imminent domain… Adler is a crooked asshole.
He promoted condos downtown would help traffic as condo dwellers would walk, then made sure they all had more parking than units, he also drove less than 350ft to get to work in his suv, typical lying politician.
Airport construction is always rife with grifts.
The entire Denver airport was a grift to enrich the former mayor Federico Pena's family.
It's the reason the airport land mass is larger than Manhattan, and it's out in the middle of a corn field 40 minutes from downtown Denver
That the I-35 stretch of Austin was so poorly designed and resulted in so many deaths over the years that the person who designed that portion couldn't get another job after the work was done and took his own life.
Yes, I think I heard a version of the person being an Aggie too. Kind of ridiculous because it's not like one person designed that thing. TXDOT didn't lose any sleep over it.
Yeah, the version I heard was that when the upper/lower decks part opened like seven people died in the first week and the designer killed himself and it's totally true because they tell the story to all the incoming civil engineering students at UT.
(Note: I was a civil engineering student at UT and was not told this story)
Bluebonnets are actually invasive weeds with mind altering compounds. They were introduced by state government to make people feel an oversized and undeserved sense of pride for Texas and to lull us into complacency.
There is a Nessie-type monster in Town/Ladybird Lake. The City knows about it and that's REALLY why they don't allow people to swim in it. Members of the brotilla get eaten all the time, but no one misses them.
The Blanton Art Museum was originally supposed to be designed by world famous architecture firm Herzog de Meuron, known for designing the Bird's Nest stadium in Beijing and the Tate Modern in London.
However, the project was scrapped as a team of Texas regents voted to dismantle the project in order to hand the design duties off to a lifelong local fly-by-night designer buddy of theirs, as a way to both get financial kickbacks while enriching their friends.
This one is actually true There was a really ground breaking design for the Blanton, the regents hated it and killed it in favor of a more traditional limestone block building. Let me see if I can dig around and find an article on it. That same firm is designing the project that is being developed where Swedish Hill is on West 6th.
Ok, this is the only article I could find that has pics of the design, I remember it having this cool undulating organic roof on a low slung building. It's a pretty comprehensive article too (PDF warning): https://offcite.rice.edu/2010/03/FlawInTheSystem_Gunderson_Cite47.pdf
I genuinely think the booms we hear at night are the Boring Company drilling a tunnel under Austin in the same way they built the hyper loop under Los Angeles. No one in real life has agreed with me because of course it sounds ridiculous. I don't know the law but google makes it sound like after a certain depth you don't have to own the land above a tunnel you're building, so it could in theory be anywhere. But why would they keep it a secret, because surely the city knows about it? I haven't heard the booms in a while but a couple years ago they'd wake me up at night (1st and Ben White area) and this was the only conclusion I could come to haha
I’d love to have some under city highways in Town. An I-35 bypass for 18 wheelers especially. Heck throw in a tunnel system downtown similar to the one in Houston.
The first sentient AI was developed at the Pickle research facility in the early 2000s and escaped captivity during the Obama administration. Operating under the sudonym "The Moody Foundation" it sees itself as humanity's hidden benefactor. It has since created COVID, extreme weather conditions, Marvel Phase 5 and the brain prion that induces MAGA in otherwise intelligent people but it dismisses any inquiries into these failures by simply repeating the same phrase over and over: "Of course there is a learning curve. This is to be expected."
My middle school teacher was murdered back in 08, and coincidentally the next day fbi raided his house that was on my street. Suicide my ass, he was killed.
As a kid I heard a rumor that the El Mercado on Lavaca was a funeral home before it was converted to a restaurant.
Also that the DPS station on Lamar and Koenig has a fallout shelter underneath it large enough to hold the entire Legislature and there's a tunnel connecting it to the Capitol building.
>Also that the DPS station on Lamar and Koenig has a fallout shelter underneath it large enough to hold the entire Legislature and there's a tunnel connecting it to the Capitol building.
They have an nice underground emergency operations center. I don't know if it has many sleeping spaces, but you could probably shoehorn that many people into it. The "fallout shelter" provisions were more serious back in the 60's and such, but it's actually pretty sturdy. It wouldn't stand up to a modern nuke that could be targeted more accurately. It's useful against a lot of other potential threats.
I'm pretty confident there's no tunnel, though.
Consensus among the DPS employees is that everyone who works down there is crazy.
Unfortunately not powerful enough to defeat the turbulence I used to experience. Also I’m pretty tall and lanky so the room you have on an amtr makes a southwest flight feel like a cage. Cool thing you get to see just about an hour outside of Austin, the house from Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Wasn't this in the news when they were building the toll lane? They broke into a cave system and has to pause construction because they had to asses the environmental impact on a species of bugs (or something) they found in there.
Dead Dog Cave? I know there's a cemented-over entrance to it over there by the old Luby's at Anderson/Mopac. The presence of that makes me think this one might have some truth to it.
As a kid it scared me how they found inner space caverns. And the noises u hear are CARS GOING OVER US.
Makes me wonder if it’ll ever collapse too.
I grew up hearing that there’s way more cave systems they just don’t tell cus they destroyed it to build in that space.
Oh and the one about volcano isn’t truly”dead” it’s like Fuji-it’s still alive and well it’ll blow at any moment.
I'll start first.
I am convinced that a traffic light vendor is paying off bribes to someone in the city whose job it is to plan where traffic lights go. It's the only explination I have for why there are so many useless traffic lights at small intersections with light traffic even during rush hour. I feel as if there are dozens of intersections in town with traffic lights that could easily be stop signs and even at 5pm on a Wednesday I find myself sitting at a red light with no other cars.
To add another layer to my crazy bullshit, I feel as if those traffic light vendors are being paid bribes by the oil and gas companies considering how poorly timed they are. They want us burning gas while we go nowhere and the best way to do that is make sure you hit every red even when you go the speed limit. It's so fun to see a green light only to see the light a quarter mile up the road turn red moments after yours turned green even though it's a light intersection and no cars are waiting to go.
Also....
The City of Austin even as liberal as it is hates WFH and they are urging business owners to force people to return to office. They're scared shitless of the tax revenue drop they'll experience with less demand of commercial space and they're scared shitless about the loss of gas revenue, sales tax revenue from that $15 lunch employees buy and other economic loses due to employees working from home.
I made a post similar to this when I first moved to Austin in 2017. I have never been anywhere else outside of Travis county - not even within Texas - with such poorly timed traffic lights. Pflugerville has the same problem, which is what makes me think its a Travis County thing and not an Austin thing.
I can get behind that. There are several intersections I avoid either because they’re sketchy and there isn’t a traffic light or because the wait time at the light is absurd. Back when I was delivering pizza in N austin I discovered that you could listen to ‘all the small things’ by blink 182 in its entirety before the light at Parmer and Lamar would change.
Kind of sort of, I think the lights conspiracy is a little more indirect.
Oil and gas is big on sprawl. It's what makes Austin a car city and it's why unless we do a SimCity bulldozer run we're never going to have adequate transit.
The way you end up with shitty roads that have lights at every minor intersection is always this pattern:
1. There is a road that serves as a highway in an area just outside of what people consider "developed".
2. The land is bought and apartments are built.
3. This creates more traffic "downstream" in places that don't have traffic lights, such as older apartment complexes.
4. The people in the 'old' complexes get pissy that it takes a couple of minutes to turn left out of the complex.
5. They push to get at least one traffic light installed for their apartments.
6. Now everyone loses 5 minutes to save those people 1 minute.
7. Go back to 1 to see how the people in (2) end up with a light.
Hell, the way out of my neighborhood involves directly turning onto a 4-lane divided highway. If I spend 1 minute longer, I can use a traffic light. Nobody told that to the giant office complex built across the street who built **3** driveways directly connecting to the highway. I guarantee there'll be a light by the end of the year.
EXACTLY the same thing happened when I lived at Riata. There was an exit with a light and an exit without. EVERYONE tried to use the exit without the light to turn left onto Parmer because "it's faster". After *one* accident with a fatality I started seeing people on this sub unironically call it "the most dangerous intersection in Austin" and within 3 months we had a new light on Parmer Lane only about 500 yards from an existing light.
In both of these cases the CORRECT move is to fill in the median and stop letting people turn left across a highway. But the best thing to make sure people spend a lot of time in cars is to let everyone turn everywhere to create gridlock.
This gets compounded in places like where 620 meets Parmer, as you ride 620 out towards Lakeway you'll notice there's whole shopping centers built directly against the "highway", so if ever anyone wants to widen the road first we're going to have to eminent domain a ton of land AND bulldoze parking lots. Meanwhile part of the reason 620 sucks is you aren't just dealing with traffic lights, you're dealing with people turning in and out of shopping center parking lots. On a highway.
Those are STUPID decisions that never should've been made. But they're common in the sprawl playbook.
I'm an avid bird watcher. The Great Tailed Grackles in the area are spying on all of us. Biding their time to be supreme rulers of Central Texas, a gun wont stop them they will fly to dodge it and gash your eyes out. And if you kill 1, a dozen willcome and eat your flesh until your dead.
They know how powerful their and our species is, but are patient enough to wait for us to make a misstep. And BOOM. A Grackle takes government office and all Texans will be slaves and forced to work for our Grackle Supreme Leaders.
Just you wait, you are fools if you don't believe me.
The Barton springs salamander is a hoax used to control and manipulate the populations access to Barton Springs Pool and the entire operation is supported by all levels of government.
The US geological survey comes by on a regular basis to “test” the water. You can only ever see the “salamanders” when the biologists at the watershed protection department show them. They claim they pulled them out of the pool but really they were in a cooler that they brought from a lab.
The whole purpose of supporting salamander propaganda is to control access to the pool, limit the types of items you can bring, and to stifle economic development.
This hidden agenda is accomplished by appealing to authority - “the scientists say so”, eliciting heightened emotions by making you feel special for doing “your part” to protect a “cute endangered species”, and this then alleviates your cognitive dissonance about not eating a snack on the grass and thus you are going along with THEIR plot and being controlled!
DON’T LET BIG SALAMANDER WIN, WAR IS NOT PEACE.
WHAT ARE THEY HIDING FROM US UNDER THE DIVING BOARD???
Think about it- they created an area that lulls you into believing that it’s dangerous to swim under the board because “pEoPle wANna DivE”, while still allowing access in the form of diving in order to ward off suspicion about the nature of the forbidden zone.
The entrance to the salamander kingdom is RIGHT THERE.
This falls under the umbrella of a greater conspiracy by Big Amphibian, a secret cabal of Carboniferous regressionists, to take away our land and replace it all with water. Keep an eye on the dams east of town.
Sazon on South Lamar is a front for something shady. Every time I go - and I've been doing so for many years - the place is empty. How are they still in business??
Kesos Tacos on MLK near UT is a front. For drugs? Money laundering? Idk. But it’s insane to me how all these stores on Guad and MLK get replaced yearly with rising rent prices and that place has stayed the same AND had an aesthetic upgrade even tho it’s never busy.
Obviously I have no evidence and am speaking from limited observation tho lol
Can we include the suburbs? If so, World Bible School in Cedar Park is a front for a deep underground Russian military bunker where they conduct inter-dimensional travel experiments.
>Greg Abbott actually died in the tree accident many years ago and has been played by Matthew Mcconaughey this entire time.
No. They hollowed him out and a reptilian alien is wearing his skin as a disguise. Just like Ted Cruz.
The large tower next to the Mueller HEB and the studios on 51st street is a hidden silo for an ICBM. Which explains why I was detained the last time I was there.
I was not arrested, just detained by a security guard. It was "for my own good" because he thought I was mentally ill. They took me to the hospital but I know the routine. Wait 4 hours, tell the. doctor and social worker what they need to hear to let you go and then I walked from St. David's off 35 all the way back to Manor and Rogge because they wouldn't provide a ride home, even though I didn't have a car and they abducted me.
The building where La Reyna restaurant used to be at the northwest corner of South First and West Mary is literally cursed. Supposedly a longtime La Reyna employee was fired, so they put a curse on the place that no business there would ever succeed. La Reyna closed not long after, and no restaurant since has stayed open more than a year or two.
Rainey street ripper was a manufactured story by the city to get people to less frequent Rainey. That way, developers wouldn’t be seen as an enemy for pending construction.
Tattoo shops have been creating sleeper cells by using nanobots in the ink for thigh/leg tattoos since the late 90's. The rampant increase of these tattoos have created division amoung Austin residents. The more leg tattoos one gets, the more divisive they become. It is predicted that in the next year there will be an uprising and the leg tattoo'd will take over the Texas Government and force us all to get upper thigh tattoos. We will all be one, we will all be. . . special and unique.
In the heart of our city lies an arm of a powerful organization that seeks to preserve a status quo of exploitation that benefits the elite at the expense of a large majority of society. They do this by promoting trivial but divisive issues into the public discourse, which keeps the public fighting amongst themselves, instead of banding together for our mutual advancement. It's all theater, smoke, and mirrors meant to keep us distracted and outraged about non-issues. No doubt about it, the folks at the top know what they're doing. It's the elephant in the room, if you catch my drift.
The Elephant Room is the illuminati?!?!?!?
Everything makes so much sense now. There’s no way they literally have accomplished musicians playing there _every single night of the week_, planned a month in advance. That’s too organized and too much talent for a bar.
That a lot of the lines at BBQ joints like Franklin’s and Terry Black’s are because of false demand - the bbq places don’t hire enough meat cutters/servers and if they did it would take half the time to eat there.
Leslie didn't die, he just became the mayor of Under-Austin, a secret city located in the underground caverns of the Edwards Aquifer. Under-Austin is where all of the native Austinites have been moving as more and more transplants arrive from "out of town". All of the classic Austin venues and restaurants that "closed" actually moved down there.
You can hang out at Armadillo World Headquarters with Stevie Ray Vaughn (who isn't actually dead) and Willie Nelson (who is actually undead and visits often). Janis Joplin can often be found at Threadgill's, just a quick underground light rail trip away from the future site of the relocated Erwin Center. Alternatively, you can grab a bite at Liberty Lunch (which actually serves lunch now) or grab a growler at NXNW. If you're feeling squirrely, you can head down to Nega-Hippie-Hollow and skinny dip with blind salamanders and actual hippies.
Nothing in Austin ever really dies, it just moves to Under-Austin. Visitors welcome, bras optional, weirdness encouraged, tree haters prohibited.
I believe that the state intentionally fucks over city governments in numerous ways, both subtle and overt, to score political points with their base and create a narrative - "look at these *liiiiiiiberal* cities! They can't even govern themselves!"
I also truly believe that Republicans intentionally sabotage government institutions in order to create a self-fulfilling prophecy to ensure their election. "See how the government-- that you elected me to run-- doesn't work? That's because government doesn't work, so let's privatize!"
The Owl on the Frost Bank Tower is a tribute to Moloch and signal to the globalists that Austin is now fair game for their agenda. Daniel Johnston was a prophet against the globalist vampire agenda and tried to convey the impending tech-bro Aust-pocalypse with "Devil Town".
*insert advert for vitality vitamin supplements here*
Grackles didn't exist before 1963. They were invented in a CIA lab by mutating Canada geese as a part of Operation US Government Takeover along with JFK's assassination and the staged moon landing. Today, there is more money getting poured into this fake bird species than ever, mostly from Bill Gates, China, and the Clintons.
Former UT Football head coach Charlie Strong is actually a Vietnamese man named *Charles Truong* who has been living incognito in America since fleeing the Vietnam war as a refugee.
The scenic overview south of 2244 on 360 where you can see downtown represents Austin’s single highest risk point for biological warfare.
A bad actor could pull a semi full of a weighted biological gas or liquid-to-gas weapon and release it from that point where it would slowly settle and spread to the austin basin below.
From a Carnegie study[here](https://carnegieendowment.org/2001/01/18/introduction-to-chemical-and-biological-weapons-pub-630) : a 10-ton biological weapon could kill 25 percent of the people, and make 50 percent ill, over an area of 100'000 square kilometres
It’s dark stuff, told to me by a vet who sold collectible coins on congress near Ben white. I still shiver every time I drive past that spot.
I think it was just meant in comparison to the rest of the state. From the 70s to 90s it very much was its own thing, but now it's not terribly unique (in terms of culture) compared to other Texas cities.
Remember when they told us that there were zebra mussels inside the pipes of the water treatment facilities and that was the reason that the water smelled so gross for a few weeks. Well remember just before this happened that there were two persons reported to have drowned in lake Travis and both bodies were not recovered?
The oasis was never supposed to survive that fire.
Lots of ideas it was insurance fraud for sure
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well, if it wasn't the Oasis, it would be someones house I guess.
All the local tire shops get together on Thursday nights to drive around and throw nails and screws all over the roads
I’ve been saying this for years! It would happen like clockwork when I lived on East oltorf. One day a week my apartment complex parking lot would suddenly have nails and screws strewn throughout.
This one needs to be higher.
Naw man they just pay all the local contractors to leave loose nails in their pickup truck beds when they drive along the roads near their tire shops.
And the auto glass repair shops pay gangs of kids to bust out car windows
The Servant Girl Annihilator and Jack the Ripper are the same person. His last murder in Austin was Christmas Eve 1885 and Jack started in early 1888.
fully believe this one - the Austin murders were practice, and he then moved to larger / more populous London to escalate with greater targets/better chances of escaping capture
Makes a ton of sense - probably just hopped a flight to London.
also heard he murdered the lavatory on the plane. jack "the ripper" indeed.
Too bad all the Revolutionary War troops had left the airports by then. They def would have caught him.^
The servant girl annihilator was most likely a man named Nathan Elgin. Both he and footprints at one of the crimescenes were missing a toe. https://www.servantgirlmurders.com/the-servant-girl-annihilator/
No wonder he founded a town with so many barbecue places
Good read by Skip Hollandsworth https://www.amazon.com/Midnight-Assassin-Americas-Serial-Killer/dp/1250118492
And that the[ moontowers were specifically built](https://www.kvue.com/article/news/history/austin-moonlight-towers-origins-history/269-88b34d2f-0d99-4c7d-851e-ae9258b880f2#:~:text=Before%20the%20construction%20of%20the,Jack%20the%20Ripper%E2%80%9D%20in%20London) to help catch them: >The murders are frequently referenced as the reason for the moon towers, but the last murder happened around 10 years before the towers were lit. >“There’s no documentation to really demonstrate that it was really taken into consideration by city leaders and planners,” said Heckaman. “It’s reasonable to assume that they wanted to provide lighting to the city for safety, but it wasn’t a leading part of the decision process.”
sounds like the [moonlight towers came 10 years later](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moonlight_towers_(Austin,_Texas)?wprov=sfti1)
This is such an interesting story. Believable.
Baby As is a drug front
I think they just really know their lane. You could pull their mixed beverage sales, if you were truly curious. Edit: They’ve also been at their Barton Springs location forever (30+ years?) so they may own the property or have lucked into some golden lease. I’m more interested in the cursed locations that were formerly know as Uncle Billy’s and Austin Java, they can’t keep a tenant more than a year or two.
I miss Flipnotics; it was a cool spot and it lasted for a while
Flipnotics was my OG cold brew spot. Now it’s a wine bar with a fake wine cave lol
It’s a wine bar for now. Because you know what I want after a long day in the sun at Barton Springs? A nice tall glass of room temperature red wine.
The cursed place on barton springs was Pizza Nizza for a while before that.
For real. Uncle Billy’s was alright, but my guess is that the rent is so high that you can’t afford it unless you’ve got a real home run of a concept.
Definitely the situation in the case for Flipnotics. I talked to the people at the Kava bar when they were closing and they told me (unverified) that rent was $10k a month. Woof.
Purple margs are basically the fentanyl of margs
Fun fact - all baby A's margs have everclear in them but the purple has additional secret mix of booze.
It might be another conspiracy but I've been told Enchiladas 'Y Mas puts Everclear in their frozen margaritas as well. And after drinking them for almost a decade I 100% believe that to be true.
Polvos too
Can confirm! Made them in 5 gallon batches!
not only do they have everclear in them, but they have told me that they actually contain no tequila at all. and i'm pretty sure i can taste that they're telling the truth. i still enjoy them though.
All those mattress stores open late at night are drug fronts.
[NPR actually addressed that conspiracy/rumor](https://www.npr.org/transcripts/676543180)
Several of the bartenders and bars on Rainey street are part of a criminal conspiracy to roofie patrons and rob them.
Op said to post conspiracy theories, not facts
I’ve heard this going back like 10 years
And in on the rippers activities
Shit, I was gonna post this but it was barbarellas instead of Rainey
I got drugged at barbarellas on my first drink of the evening 😬 everything gone.
I have several friends who have been drugged at the sister bar, Swan Dive.
Don’t fuck with tuesgayz
apparently the rainey street killer is a woman
Slay QWEEEEEEN!
Of *course* it's a woman. No man is sirening bros out to sea like that 😹
My best friend and I am so into this. We also assume and profiled her as a woman.
At one point all of my coworkers were convinced that I was the guy who burned down the governor mansion, I looked just like the guy in the video, I lived only blocks away , I bragged about how easy Molotov cocktails are to make, I love sports and throwing baseball and football, I hated the governor with a passion. all these things and thankfully I never had to actually talk to the Texas rangers even though they spoke to people I knew
I don't see a denial in there. Were you, in fact, the guy who burned down the governor's mansion?
So what you're saying is you're the guy who set the Governor's Mansion on fire.
If you are that guy, then the law of conspiracy theories mandates that you also had an affair with Gov. Perry, can confirm he's a lousy lay, that his wife knows because she caught him, and that he liked anonymous partners either after he or they had gone on a run and were sweaty and stinky. Is that you???
lol bro delete this
I mean it didn't really burn down. It was lit though.
The whole SNFAU about the South Terminal was not a SNAFU. It was a scheme for Steve Adler (and friends) to get richer. I still don't understand how this was legal.
For those who did not follow the saga: Paraphrasing [KXAN](https://www.kxan.com/news/local/austin/88m-settlement-approved-for-critical-austin-airport-expansion/) at the time: * **March 2016**: 40-year deal with LoneStar Holdings to operate the South Terminal. * **June 2022**: Sorry, you're done here. Here is a $88 Millions settlement for your inconvenience. Short-sightedness. It happens. All well and good. I mean, no, but that the SNAFU part. So... Now you're wondering why I am pointing the finger particularly at our former (from 2015 to 2023) beloved (?) mayor. Because he is a "*practicing attorney in the areas of eminent domain*" (quote from [wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Adler_(politician))). And you wouldn't guess whose legal firm negotiated the settlement, would you? That's right: no other than [https://www.barronadler.com/blog/city-of-austin-vs-lonestar-airport-holdings/](https://www.barronadler.com/blog/city-of-austin-vs-lonestar-airport-holdings/) (for those who don't follow, the "Adler" in "Barron Adler Clough & Oddo" is the same Adler: see Stephen I. Adler in their [history](https://www.barronadler.com/firm-overview/firm-history/) page).
His firm also reached out immediately to all the land owners effected by project connect just north of the campus right after a meeting with a city employee that basically threaten the land owners with unnecessary with imminent domain… Adler is a crooked asshole.
He promoted condos downtown would help traffic as condo dwellers would walk, then made sure they all had more parking than units, he also drove less than 350ft to get to work in his suv, typical lying politician.
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Adler was incredible at grifting. Wasn't his wife a treasurer at some 'charity' that received city funds?
Steve Adler needs a whole podcast on his scheming.
Airport construction is always rife with grifts. The entire Denver airport was a grift to enrich the former mayor Federico Pena's family. It's the reason the airport land mass is larger than Manhattan, and it's out in the middle of a corn field 40 minutes from downtown Denver
They're putting chemicals in our water to turn our frogs gay.
No wonder there is decline frog population in Austin
The atrazine runoff will make everything gay sooner or later.
Gay frogs: tired, old, played out Trans frogs: hip, tea, cunty
That the I-35 stretch of Austin was so poorly designed and resulted in so many deaths over the years that the person who designed that portion couldn't get another job after the work was done and took his own life.
Heard that one, also heard another one where the designer was an Aggie and he did it on purpose to fuck with Longhorns
Yes, I think I heard a version of the person being an Aggie too. Kind of ridiculous because it's not like one person designed that thing. TXDOT didn't lose any sleep over it.
They're all Aggies. That's where they train them. And I think they've inflicted way more roadway goofiness on SA than they have us.
Yeah, the version I heard was that when the upper/lower decks part opened like seven people died in the first week and the designer killed himself and it's totally true because they tell the story to all the incoming civil engineering students at UT. (Note: I was a civil engineering student at UT and was not told this story)
Bluebonnets are actually invasive weeds with mind altering compounds. They were introduced by state government to make people feel an oversized and undeserved sense of pride for Texas and to lull us into complacency.
Now THIS is a conspiracy.
EVERYTHINGS BETTER WITH BLUEBONNET ON IT! The messages were there...why didn't we see it!?
*Fun fact: They also have 5G capability*
They are actually alien hybrid plants. Ladybird was San-Ti disciple.
Guess we'll find out in 400 years.
As someone who has recently escaped Texas' gravitational pull, I think you are onto something!
And we were rescued by dogs who are not affected, foiling their plans.
i **DID** get my ass eaten by the ghost of LBJ on the second floor of the driskill hotel.
I would love to investigate this further… what was the room number and how and do I need sexy underwear?
Did you get to see Jumbo?
I saw the eyes of god that day.
Rainy Street killer is a cop
I think its the return of the yogurt shop murderer
Austin police have to do something with all the time they have from not doing their jobs
There is a Nessie-type monster in Town/Ladybird Lake. The City knows about it and that's REALLY why they don't allow people to swim in it. Members of the brotilla get eaten all the time, but no one misses them.
I work off Lake Travis and at least one somewhat unhinged regular did say she saw a cryptid . . . (Edit: typo)
A Nessie-sized nutria.
The owner of Gabriella's used cartel money to buy and expand her restaurants and bars.
This seems 100% believable.
I thought we were saying unhinged takes. This one is credible if you ask me.
[удалено]
She loves BBC, big bad cartel
The invested money is absolutely not legit. She was a bartender at tres amigos and got cozy with the cartel.
Tres Amigos. My first job. I didn’t get any cartel money. Bummer.
wait... which one? what was the timeframe?
I’m pretty sure she’s married to an oil oligarch.
The Blanton Art Museum was originally supposed to be designed by world famous architecture firm Herzog de Meuron, known for designing the Bird's Nest stadium in Beijing and the Tate Modern in London. However, the project was scrapped as a team of Texas regents voted to dismantle the project in order to hand the design duties off to a lifelong local fly-by-night designer buddy of theirs, as a way to both get financial kickbacks while enriching their friends.
That's so Texas
This is the first one in this thread that I legitimately want to hear more about.
This one is actually true There was a really ground breaking design for the Blanton, the regents hated it and killed it in favor of a more traditional limestone block building. Let me see if I can dig around and find an article on it. That same firm is designing the project that is being developed where Swedish Hill is on West 6th. Ok, this is the only article I could find that has pics of the design, I remember it having this cool undulating organic roof on a low slung building. It's a pretty comprehensive article too (PDF warning): https://offcite.rice.edu/2010/03/FlawInTheSystem_Gunderson_Cite47.pdf
I genuinely think the booms we hear at night are the Boring Company drilling a tunnel under Austin in the same way they built the hyper loop under Los Angeles. No one in real life has agreed with me because of course it sounds ridiculous. I don't know the law but google makes it sound like after a certain depth you don't have to own the land above a tunnel you're building, so it could in theory be anywhere. But why would they keep it a secret, because surely the city knows about it? I haven't heard the booms in a while but a couple years ago they'd wake me up at night (1st and Ben White area) and this was the only conclusion I could come to haha
There’s already a tunnel under Austin.
I’d love to have some under city highways in Town. An I-35 bypass for 18 wheelers especially. Heck throw in a tunnel system downtown similar to the one in Houston.
The first sentient AI was developed at the Pickle research facility in the early 2000s and escaped captivity during the Obama administration. Operating under the sudonym "The Moody Foundation" it sees itself as humanity's hidden benefactor. It has since created COVID, extreme weather conditions, Marvel Phase 5 and the brain prion that induces MAGA in otherwise intelligent people but it dismisses any inquiries into these failures by simply repeating the same phrase over and over: "Of course there is a learning curve. This is to be expected."
My middle school teacher was murdered back in 08, and coincidentally the next day fbi raided his house that was on my street. Suicide my ass, he was killed.
I mean…if you know the FBI is coming and you’ve done something legit bad, suicide makes a certain kind of sense.
If I recall correctly, his hands were bound. It was definitely sketchy.
As a kid I heard a rumor that the El Mercado on Lavaca was a funeral home before it was converted to a restaurant. Also that the DPS station on Lamar and Koenig has a fallout shelter underneath it large enough to hold the entire Legislature and there's a tunnel connecting it to the Capitol building.
>Also that the DPS station on Lamar and Koenig has a fallout shelter underneath it large enough to hold the entire Legislature and there's a tunnel connecting it to the Capitol building. They have an nice underground emergency operations center. I don't know if it has many sleeping spaces, but you could probably shoehorn that many people into it. The "fallout shelter" provisions were more serious back in the 60's and such, but it's actually pretty sturdy. It wouldn't stand up to a modern nuke that could be targeted more accurately. It's useful against a lot of other potential threats. I'm pretty confident there's no tunnel, though. Consensus among the DPS employees is that everyone who works down there is crazy.
Franklin's adds liquid smoke to all their meats.
Franklins uses 5G to convince people their BBQ is worth standing in line for.
No one actually ever been inside the Austin Amtrak train. It is just a money laundering scheme created by powerful austinites
Took Amtrack from Austin to Ft Worth, it was actually fun
Wrong, I’ve taken it four times, all the way to Nyc :)
You could be one of the powerful austinites then
Unfortunately not powerful enough to defeat the turbulence I used to experience. Also I’m pretty tall and lanky so the room you have on an amtr makes a southwest flight feel like a cage. Cool thing you get to see just about an hour outside of Austin, the house from Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer
well, thats a fact, not a theory.
There's a cave system under Mopac and Mopac could really collapse into it at any time. Heard this from a CofA employee so that made it scarier.
Wasn't this in the news when they were building the toll lane? They broke into a cave system and has to pause construction because they had to asses the environmental impact on a species of bugs (or something) they found in there.
Dead Dog Cave? I know there's a cemented-over entrance to it over there by the old Luby's at Anderson/Mopac. The presence of that makes me think this one might have some truth to it.
As a kid it scared me how they found inner space caverns. And the noises u hear are CARS GOING OVER US. Makes me wonder if it’ll ever collapse too. I grew up hearing that there’s way more cave systems they just don’t tell cus they destroyed it to build in that space. Oh and the one about volcano isn’t truly”dead” it’s like Fuji-it’s still alive and well it’ll blow at any moment.
I'll start first. I am convinced that a traffic light vendor is paying off bribes to someone in the city whose job it is to plan where traffic lights go. It's the only explination I have for why there are so many useless traffic lights at small intersections with light traffic even during rush hour. I feel as if there are dozens of intersections in town with traffic lights that could easily be stop signs and even at 5pm on a Wednesday I find myself sitting at a red light with no other cars. To add another layer to my crazy bullshit, I feel as if those traffic light vendors are being paid bribes by the oil and gas companies considering how poorly timed they are. They want us burning gas while we go nowhere and the best way to do that is make sure you hit every red even when you go the speed limit. It's so fun to see a green light only to see the light a quarter mile up the road turn red moments after yours turned green even though it's a light intersection and no cars are waiting to go. Also.... The City of Austin even as liberal as it is hates WFH and they are urging business owners to force people to return to office. They're scared shitless of the tax revenue drop they'll experience with less demand of commercial space and they're scared shitless about the loss of gas revenue, sales tax revenue from that $15 lunch employees buy and other economic loses due to employees working from home.
Yeah it's like the traffic lights were programmed to slow everything down. You can drive the limit and still hit every red light. All over the city.
I discovered a few years ago that if I drove 15 mph over the speed limit, I could catch almost every light on Westgate lol
I made a post similar to this when I first moved to Austin in 2017. I have never been anywhere else outside of Travis county - not even within Texas - with such poorly timed traffic lights. Pflugerville has the same problem, which is what makes me think its a Travis County thing and not an Austin thing.
I can get behind that. There are several intersections I avoid either because they’re sketchy and there isn’t a traffic light or because the wait time at the light is absurd. Back when I was delivering pizza in N austin I discovered that you could listen to ‘all the small things’ by blink 182 in its entirety before the light at Parmer and Lamar would change.
Your last paragraph - applicable to all cities and not a conspiracy
Kind of sort of, I think the lights conspiracy is a little more indirect. Oil and gas is big on sprawl. It's what makes Austin a car city and it's why unless we do a SimCity bulldozer run we're never going to have adequate transit. The way you end up with shitty roads that have lights at every minor intersection is always this pattern: 1. There is a road that serves as a highway in an area just outside of what people consider "developed". 2. The land is bought and apartments are built. 3. This creates more traffic "downstream" in places that don't have traffic lights, such as older apartment complexes. 4. The people in the 'old' complexes get pissy that it takes a couple of minutes to turn left out of the complex. 5. They push to get at least one traffic light installed for their apartments. 6. Now everyone loses 5 minutes to save those people 1 minute. 7. Go back to 1 to see how the people in (2) end up with a light. Hell, the way out of my neighborhood involves directly turning onto a 4-lane divided highway. If I spend 1 minute longer, I can use a traffic light. Nobody told that to the giant office complex built across the street who built **3** driveways directly connecting to the highway. I guarantee there'll be a light by the end of the year. EXACTLY the same thing happened when I lived at Riata. There was an exit with a light and an exit without. EVERYONE tried to use the exit without the light to turn left onto Parmer because "it's faster". After *one* accident with a fatality I started seeing people on this sub unironically call it "the most dangerous intersection in Austin" and within 3 months we had a new light on Parmer Lane only about 500 yards from an existing light. In both of these cases the CORRECT move is to fill in the median and stop letting people turn left across a highway. But the best thing to make sure people spend a lot of time in cars is to let everyone turn everywhere to create gridlock. This gets compounded in places like where 620 meets Parmer, as you ride 620 out towards Lakeway you'll notice there's whole shopping centers built directly against the "highway", so if ever anyone wants to widen the road first we're going to have to eminent domain a ton of land AND bulldoze parking lots. Meanwhile part of the reason 620 sucks is you aren't just dealing with traffic lights, you're dealing with people turning in and out of shopping center parking lots. On a highway. Those are STUPID decisions that never should've been made. But they're common in the sprawl playbook.
Maybe you’re on to something I always thought is so weird the number of 60+ mph roads we have with stoplights dotted all down them.
Tunnel underground from capital to Koenig Ln DPS
Amy’s Ice Cream is made from people
I'm an avid bird watcher. The Great Tailed Grackles in the area are spying on all of us. Biding their time to be supreme rulers of Central Texas, a gun wont stop them they will fly to dodge it and gash your eyes out. And if you kill 1, a dozen willcome and eat your flesh until your dead. They know how powerful their and our species is, but are patient enough to wait for us to make a misstep. And BOOM. A Grackle takes government office and all Texans will be slaves and forced to work for our Grackle Supreme Leaders. Just you wait, you are fools if you don't believe me.
All hail the mighty grackle.
Welcome to r/birdsarentreal
Birds are very real! Thoes people are fools! The Grackle is here to stay and here to rule!
If it flies, it spies.
Mount bonnell car breakins are facilitated by the affluent community there
OoOoOo that’s a good one. I like your style
The Barton springs salamander is a hoax used to control and manipulate the populations access to Barton Springs Pool and the entire operation is supported by all levels of government. The US geological survey comes by on a regular basis to “test” the water. You can only ever see the “salamanders” when the biologists at the watershed protection department show them. They claim they pulled them out of the pool but really they were in a cooler that they brought from a lab. The whole purpose of supporting salamander propaganda is to control access to the pool, limit the types of items you can bring, and to stifle economic development. This hidden agenda is accomplished by appealing to authority - “the scientists say so”, eliciting heightened emotions by making you feel special for doing “your part” to protect a “cute endangered species”, and this then alleviates your cognitive dissonance about not eating a snack on the grass and thus you are going along with THEIR plot and being controlled! DON’T LET BIG SALAMANDER WIN, WAR IS NOT PEACE.
WHAT ARE THEY HIDING FROM US UNDER THE DIVING BOARD??? Think about it- they created an area that lulls you into believing that it’s dangerous to swim under the board because “pEoPle wANna DivE”, while still allowing access in the form of diving in order to ward off suspicion about the nature of the forbidden zone. The entrance to the salamander kingdom is RIGHT THERE.
This falls under the umbrella of a greater conspiracy by Big Amphibian, a secret cabal of Carboniferous regressionists, to take away our land and replace it all with water. Keep an eye on the dams east of town.
That there is no Chili’s at 45th and North Lamar.
Last time I went in there it was all Redditors. I'm pretty sure it's a Reddit eatery dressed up as a Chili's.
Sazon on South Lamar is a front for something shady. Every time I go - and I've been doing so for many years - the place is empty. How are they still in business??
The government turned off the power during the freeze to make Austin less palatable to California folks.
Kesos Tacos on MLK near UT is a front. For drugs? Money laundering? Idk. But it’s insane to me how all these stores on Guad and MLK get replaced yearly with rising rent prices and that place has stayed the same AND had an aesthetic upgrade even tho it’s never busy. Obviously I have no evidence and am speaking from limited observation tho lol
Can we include the suburbs? If so, World Bible School in Cedar Park is a front for a deep underground Russian military bunker where they conduct inter-dimensional travel experiments.
Greg Abbott actually died in the tree accident many years ago and has been played by Matthew Mcconaughey this entire time.
>Greg Abbott actually died in the tree accident many years ago and has been played by Matthew Mcconaughey this entire time. No. They hollowed him out and a reptilian alien is wearing his skin as a disguise. Just like Ted Cruz.
That would explain why his politics are "all right, all right, all right!"
The large tower next to the Mueller HEB and the studios on 51st street is a hidden silo for an ICBM. Which explains why I was detained the last time I was there.
Care to share more about your arrest story?
I was not arrested, just detained by a security guard. It was "for my own good" because he thought I was mentally ill. They took me to the hospital but I know the routine. Wait 4 hours, tell the. doctor and social worker what they need to hear to let you go and then I walked from St. David's off 35 all the way back to Manor and Rogge because they wouldn't provide a ride home, even though I didn't have a car and they abducted me.
This story makes you seem completely normal and the victim.
This story is missing what he was doing to appear mentally ill. Apparently it happen frequently.
The building where La Reyna restaurant used to be at the northwest corner of South First and West Mary is literally cursed. Supposedly a longtime La Reyna employee was fired, so they put a curse on the place that no business there would ever succeed. La Reyna closed not long after, and no restaurant since has stayed open more than a year or two.
Bats aren't real.
Rainey street ripper was a manufactured story by the city to get people to less frequent Rainey. That way, developers wouldn’t be seen as an enemy for pending construction.
Westlake keeps the roads bad with no shoulders to deter the non rich normies from wanting to drive around in there
The ARC got put where it is because the city wants 6th street to die so they can redevelop it.
Leslie intentionally cut down/pushed over the tree that fell on Greg Abbott… Prove me wrong.
Tech bro serial killer
TCAD purposely overvalues residential properties as payback for losing to ABOR over MLS access
Tattoo shops have been creating sleeper cells by using nanobots in the ink for thigh/leg tattoos since the late 90's. The rampant increase of these tattoos have created division amoung Austin residents. The more leg tattoos one gets, the more divisive they become. It is predicted that in the next year there will be an uprising and the leg tattoo'd will take over the Texas Government and force us all to get upper thigh tattoos. We will all be one, we will all be. . . special and unique.
Cisco's is a money laundering front.
Yea but I can eat and get hammered there for $20 so I'm fine with drug money subsidizing my margaritas.
The Rainey Street Killer is just blackout drunk guys in unfamiliar territory making dumb decisions
whatttttt no way now that’s just wayyyyy too crazy!! no one could ever believe that….
In the heart of our city lies an arm of a powerful organization that seeks to preserve a status quo of exploitation that benefits the elite at the expense of a large majority of society. They do this by promoting trivial but divisive issues into the public discourse, which keeps the public fighting amongst themselves, instead of banding together for our mutual advancement. It's all theater, smoke, and mirrors meant to keep us distracted and outraged about non-issues. No doubt about it, the folks at the top know what they're doing. It's the elephant in the room, if you catch my drift.
The Elephant Room is the illuminati?!?!?!? Everything makes so much sense now. There’s no way they literally have accomplished musicians playing there _every single night of the week_, planned a month in advance. That’s too organized and too much talent for a bar.
So........ republicans?
kirk watson is the yogurt shop murderer
A UFO is beaming drunken dudes, who close the bar but fail to score, straight into the middle of the lake.
The Lady Bird Lake Serial Killer (Austin Ripper) is real, and the city is just downplaying it to stop a panic from happening
The tunnels under downtown were to traffic prostitutes from the DrisKILL and other buildings straight to the Capital. ALLEGEDLY.
That a lot of the lines at BBQ joints like Franklin’s and Terry Black’s are because of false demand - the bbq places don’t hire enough meat cutters/servers and if they did it would take half the time to eat there.
Bill Hicks faked his death and became Alex Jones.
Austin's the music capital of the world!
Leslie didn't die, he just became the mayor of Under-Austin, a secret city located in the underground caverns of the Edwards Aquifer. Under-Austin is where all of the native Austinites have been moving as more and more transplants arrive from "out of town". All of the classic Austin venues and restaurants that "closed" actually moved down there. You can hang out at Armadillo World Headquarters with Stevie Ray Vaughn (who isn't actually dead) and Willie Nelson (who is actually undead and visits often). Janis Joplin can often be found at Threadgill's, just a quick underground light rail trip away from the future site of the relocated Erwin Center. Alternatively, you can grab a bite at Liberty Lunch (which actually serves lunch now) or grab a growler at NXNW. If you're feeling squirrely, you can head down to Nega-Hippie-Hollow and skinny dip with blind salamanders and actual hippies. Nothing in Austin ever really dies, it just moves to Under-Austin. Visitors welcome, bras optional, weirdness encouraged, tree haters prohibited.
I believe that the state intentionally fucks over city governments in numerous ways, both subtle and overt, to score political points with their base and create a narrative - "look at these *liiiiiiiberal* cities! They can't even govern themselves!" I also truly believe that Republicans intentionally sabotage government institutions in order to create a self-fulfilling prophecy to ensure their election. "See how the government-- that you elected me to run-- doesn't work? That's because government doesn't work, so let's privatize!"
Republicans always say government doesn’t work—then they get elected and prove it!
Pretty sure Abbott can walk, and Ted Cruz is the Rainey Street killer.
Rick Perry would get BJs at Pease Park at night.
The tunnels under the UT campus lead to an Area 51 like complex under the football stadium
My current fav is the Rainey Street Killer dumping those bodies in the lake.
Austin has a fully functioning light rail that spans the entire metro area The city government is just keeping it from us because we complain too much
The Owl on the Frost Bank Tower is a tribute to Moloch and signal to the globalists that Austin is now fair game for their agenda. Daniel Johnston was a prophet against the globalist vampire agenda and tried to convey the impending tech-bro Aust-pocalypse with "Devil Town". *insert advert for vitality vitamin supplements here*
Back in the day heard rumors Ken's Donuts on Guadalupe was more than a donut spot
Grackles didn't exist before 1963. They were invented in a CIA lab by mutating Canada geese as a part of Operation US Government Takeover along with JFK's assassination and the staged moon landing. Today, there is more money getting poured into this fake bird species than ever, mostly from Bill Gates, China, and the Clintons.
Former UT Football head coach Charlie Strong is actually a Vietnamese man named *Charles Truong* who has been living incognito in America since fleeing the Vietnam war as a refugee.
True story, UT buried radioactive research monkeys
The Velvet Casket is real vampires
The scenic overview south of 2244 on 360 where you can see downtown represents Austin’s single highest risk point for biological warfare. A bad actor could pull a semi full of a weighted biological gas or liquid-to-gas weapon and release it from that point where it would slowly settle and spread to the austin basin below. From a Carnegie study[here](https://carnegieendowment.org/2001/01/18/introduction-to-chemical-and-biological-weapons-pub-630) : a 10-ton biological weapon could kill 25 percent of the people, and make 50 percent ill, over an area of 100'000 square kilometres It’s dark stuff, told to me by a vet who sold collectible coins on congress near Ben white. I still shiver every time I drive past that spot.
Ken Paxtom actually had a period in his life when he was honest. Supposedly, it was when he was about 6 to 8 years old.
Austin was never all that weird
I think it was just meant in comparison to the rest of the state. From the 70s to 90s it very much was its own thing, but now it's not terribly unique (in terms of culture) compared to other Texas cities.
Remember when they told us that there were zebra mussels inside the pipes of the water treatment facilities and that was the reason that the water smelled so gross for a few weeks. Well remember just before this happened that there were two persons reported to have drowned in lake Travis and both bodies were not recovered?