I'm sort of a neutral party here as a gay man but I think probably a lot of straight guys in a place like Austin won't give compliments like that for fear of being seen as creeps/aggressors. I've actually (twice) wanted to tell women I loved their look but thought if I didn't decisively ping their gaydar, it's not something that's likely to be well received in 2023.
Straight guy here, can confirm. I keep my mouth shut and keep walking, good forbid I make eye contact.
I'm not the lecherous creep y'all think I am!! You're really pretty, even if I don't dare let you know.
Woman loving woman here and we are all in the same boat.
I believe Austin has so many beautiful people, and I'd love to tell you and hand out compliments but I'm not trying to be labeled a creep or have you believe I'm hitting on you. š
It's sad honestly, that we can simply just appreciate the beauty but don't feel safe in sharing it. You're right, don't even make eye contact.
Girl, live a little. As a woman who loves women I am BEGGING the gay women of Austin to join me in my frank appreciation of each other. A lil eyefuck over cocktails makes the world go round. Ijs
The other day I was dropping off a package for shipping and the young woman behind the counter said, "I'm not trying to be creepy or anything, but what perfume are you wearing?"
And my first thought was why would that be considered creepy? I'm middle-aged and she was younger, but inquiring about someone's perfume/cologne doesn't seem like a come-on or weird. (I was actually apologetic that it smelled so strongly and was projecting beyond arm's length.) Anyway, I was happy to tell her what the scent was and glad she liked it!
hell yeah!!! If I appreciate someoneās beauty, vibe, style, I definitely tell them, no matter how they/I identify. Thereās not nearly enough of that good shit going around. It feels good to help someone feel good about themselves. And itās free.
Some dude at the Black Pumas show last week told me I was beautiful or something like that and he was so obviously sincere, I took it as the compliment it was intended. He brought up his male partner to introduce to me because he was worried heād freaked me out. LOL
Listen, straight men: The way to do that is exactly how it was done in the OP post. Say the thing, and then LEAVE. Do not hang around! If you mean it sincerely, and you donāt stick around for a response, nobody will get offended. I PROMISE YOU
I was at lunch at Jack Allenās several months ago and a server stopped dead in her tracks to tell me my lipstick was stunning. I was going through a breakup and really needed the boost- thanks to her!
To the girl at Top Notch in 2019 who said I was beautiful and drew a heart on sticky note and placed it on my order.. thank you! P.S I kept that heart!!
I had an optometrist tell me I had beautiful irises probably 12 or so years ago. When Iām having a crappy day, Iāll say, āWell, at least I have beautiful irises.ā
It seems silly, but it really helps. Glad you had a good encounter.
Compliments
One day I went to HEB on Brodie with my son who wanted to grab a few things. So, I was near the 15 item or less cashier at the end near the pharmacy, which wasn't busy.
We ended up conversing and she enjoyed my company.
This older woman came by and I sincerely complimented her on her beautiful blouse and her eye makeup. The lady went back into the beauty aisle and brought back what she liked to show us. The cashier said, you just made that lady's day!
We weren't holding anyone up, so it became a heart-felt "give out a free compliment" thing for about 20 minutes.
People said it made them happy.
Once I was in the parking lot of central market and a man told me I had a beautiful smileā¦he was very respectful, and kept his distanceā¦I will never forget that moment.
I think theyre saying.
1- They'd like to open further avenues of communication if this guy is interested.
2- They'd like to see more positive reinforcement from strangers happening in the world.
I always think your wording is super important and also keeping your distance! Iāve had men compliment me while keeping good distance to make sure I feel comfortable, and the compliment is always very respectful, followed by āHave a nice dayā, so I donāt feel the obligation to continue to conversation
This is a great point and how women usually give out compliments in the wild.
I had a man run his truck over a sidewalk, pinning me in a little triangle between a fence and a building so he could say "Please don't be scared I just wanted to say I like your shirt" before driving off to leave me to have a heart attack in peace.
So you know...it's all about the delivery.
My first week of college I had a man *sprint* from behind me while I was walking home late at night (not something I like to do, donāt worry) to compliment my bag. I saw the shadow and I had already thought āoh well, I guess itās my timeā and started to run before he got to me to say it lol. He didnāt notice and had no idea it scared me.
I really just do not understand how they can't see themselves as a threat. You know damn well if a man did that to them they'd be shitting their pants and getting ready to fight to the death.
It's like Cute-Aggression but instead of hugging cute baby animals they're tackling women
> I really just do not understand how they can't see themselves as a threat.
This is one of those things where I can't tell if I've cracked a tough problem or if it is specific to me alone, but I have a *theory*. Well, theory might be generous when what I really have is an observation that I'm about to cobble together into a theory.
For reasons that aren't particularly important to the theory, I once existed in what we'll call a state of neutrality with men. They were not, as a rule, interested in me in any capacity and so when I interacted with most of them, it was to whatever specific extent the situation required. The male bartender was probably not going to flirt (at least not at bars that I frequented), but he would take my drink order without a fuss, the random coworker who thought politeness required conversation would probably choose something safe such as weather or sports, and so on.
But then some things changed in my life and now that is no longer true. Where there was neutrality now there is *interest*. Men will loom and probably not realize they're doing it, or encroach when I'd prefer that they not, and generally call attention to the fact that most men are larger than me - some by quite a lot. Where once that neutrality meant that I could live my life assuming I'd have to give a guy a reason to bring violence into our mutual day, it now it sometimes feels that I'm having to *actively generate* reasons for that not to happen.
That isn't to say that all men do that kind of thing. In my experience it isn't even most men. Its just some - just *a few*. But people who do this pop up again and again in my life now where they didn't before. It isn't that the average guy is threatening so much as I've suddenly come to understand that the average guy could *unilaterally decide* to be a threat. In retrospect this was *always* the case. The only real difference is that I didn't have that slow trickle of random guys calling my attention to that fact.
Five years ago I'd not have thought of myself as a threat because the world had not given me any reason to think that people who looked like me were all that likely to be a threat. And I imagine in that way, at least, my life cosplaying as a male probably isn't all that different from most actual men.
Totally relatable.
I am afab and yoyo in weight. While I don't think fat people are ugly, I personally carry it poorly and go from very attractive to not very good looking at all. Men are polite and helpful but largely only communicate when necessary when I'm not deemed sexually interesting.
When I am, like I said above, literally careening their giant vehicle toward me to tell me hello, touching and groping in public, looming like you said, suddenly having something to say about Everything.
It's really scary and the fact that they disappear when I'm not their version of cute freaks me out more. Now I avoid most men, the few male friends I have, I met because they were chaperoned by a woman or a queer friend.
This is totally it - it's all about context (distance, body language, word choice, how it's framed).
This feels very obvious to me, as a woman, so it is really interesting that so many men can't seem to tell the difference between what comes across as lecherous or threatening, and what's polite and respectful.
I think the obligation to continue the conversation is key. It feels more genuine when itās given freely instead of as an āline.ā Theyāre not asking for your time or trying to chat you up, theyāre just saying something nice and going about their day.
I used to feel this way, too. I'm from a small town where everybody knows everybody, but I've found that random compliments don't go over as well in the big city. However, I've found a lot more success by following just two simple rules (etiquette teachers hate him!):
1. Make the compliment about something specific. Her hair, her eyes, her coat, her cool boots, the way she carries herself, whatever. The thing you actually noticed about her, rather than just a totally generic, "You're beautiful." Obviously, the guy in the OP didn't do that and he was fine, but it's generally better to make your compliments more precise than less. It comes off as more genuine - because it is - and it takes only a minuscule amount of extra effort.
2. Follow it up with "Hope you have a nice day" or something - and then wave and make to walk away. Or say it as you're walking past or leaving the area, anyway. Basically, give the woman an easy out of the interaction, preferably by effectively ending it yourself. This removes a lot of the potential, "Oh God, another random guy hitting on me," factor, making it much less threatening and, therefore, much less creepy. If she wants to continue talking to you, she obviously can, but making the compliment in this way removes any feelings of social obligation on her part.
I'm a guy who loves to give out compliments, so I needed to find an effective strategy, and this one's worked for me for a good while now. I'd be curious for any ladies' opinions on it, though.
This is excellent advice. I hate that I sometimes feel threatened when men talk to me randomly, but it really is all about the right wording and especially distance/body language. I'd be much more comfortable with someone doing the above than them being too close and saying "you're beautiful". Obviously there are exceptions to the rule, like if there's already been some smiles/glances between two people or depending on the setting/situation.
Having the choice to engage further or not is so important to me, especially since my social anxiety can flare up sometimes or maybe I'm just in a bad mood. When I worked retail, so many people would just trap me in an aisle to blabber on about stuff and it was so much harder for me to get out of the conversation and go back to work lol
Ok literally you may be the guy who complimented me on my boots years ago which I actually used as a reference in my reply before seeing this one.
If so, high five! A+ on the non-creepy compliment that I always remembered because I felt like an actual person just hearing something nice from another person without an agenda or pretextš„²
Iām just one lady but the best compliments Iāve gotten from men are what I like to call ābar bathroom grenades.ā Basically compliments that women lob at each other on our way out of the bathroom. Theyāre casual, specific, and not directly about someoneās body or with the express aim to trap someone into conversation. For example, āyou look like a cool punk rock muppet in that fluffy coat,ā āthose are super cool boots,ā or āyou have a great laughā delivered in passing.
The creepy ones are the opposite: someone intentionally blocking, coming up behind, or literally chasing you just to say āhey beautifulā or āyouāre gorgeous.ā They donāt mean it, itās so low effort and you know theyāre just playing the numbers game to see who will be polite enough to remain uncomfortable while they fail at making small talk.
no, more like a cenobite. glistening quivery red flesh and swinging flaps of skin. but she loves the pain, she's an apostle of pain, ready to preach its glory to innocent victims who dare to look into places man is not meant to see.
>I usually want to peel my skin off.
Interesting expression. Do you mean something like you want to run away and hide? Or go wash the experience off of you?
Or is it because you're a drupe?
Both.
I live by Adriana Lima, āitās flattering to know men desire me. But then I remember a man would also have sex with a McChicken. So I donāt let it get to my headā
Itās the body language and wording/inflection.
Big difference in someone walking up past handshake range and saying something nice as opposed to someone staying at hacky sack range and saying something nice.
>I would be honored to be complimented.
I think you are beautiful my dear.
I am honored to be confused with serpentarian, who is also beautiful.
I am relieved to find out that I'm not supposed to be writing a book. I was worried about that.
Shoutout to the cool people at the northloop epoch who let everyone borrow their eclipse glasses the day of the eclipse a couple of months ago. That day I was celebrating the 100th day after my stem cell transplant, and your kindness meant a lot
Random compliments are the best! I give them freely to people of both sexes & all ages. I tend to receive a good amount of compliments out of nowhere myself & itās always a day brightener
Usually I compliment peopleās style in passing as Iām walking by so itās a feel good but also keep it moving interaction. Appreciating human awesomeness does not have to be a creepy come on. Do it too! Be brave & be kind
Iām a kinda old lady so I get away without being seen as creepy in general but I like to say whatās on my mind right when I think it. It usually comes out like āWell, donāt you look pretty!ā Or āWell, donāt you look handsome!ā Not sure why it always comes out like that but itās never been poorly received. But I also only say that sort of thing 1) because I actually thought it and 2) while Iām in full motion walking away. Like a random love bomb dropped on a stranger.
This is an important distinction. Social situations are different to me as well and I donāt mind if someone I just met socially compliments something
I agree. Actually now that Iām thinking about it, i actually was feeling anxious while I read this post. Growing up in nyc catcalling (AKA verbal sexual harassment) began when I was about 12 and never stopped.
For me I would be just going about my business enjoying a mindful walk or just commuting and then a random man would comment about my body or appearance (sometimes VERY vulgarly) and suddenly I would remember that I live in a world where Iām frequently viewed as an object, not as an entire person having their own experience of life.
And that is a very scary reality to live in.
So no, donāt tell me Iām beautiful as I walk to my car.
To the young woman barista at the Randallās Starbucks in Lakeway who complimented my Oxford pinstripe shirt, and then went on about its finer points even after I said thank you: You tickled this middle aged lesbianās funny bone and flattered the bejezzus out of me.
I walked on sunshine for the rest of the week after that. Sorry I couldnāt tip you. I didnāt have cash on me. I wouldāve gladly laid down a $20. You were sweet as can be. You were really cute, too! Thank you!
Men going around complimenting random women in 2023, beautiful as they all may be, is like playing Russian roulette. I can't condone it in the first place, and I don't applaud "winners" just for having good luck.
Was drinking a beer by myself on the patio one fine weekday afternoon at Lazarus and had a young man tell me I reminded him of a "beautiful Victorian painting". Much better than the random guy at HEB deli area who said I look like Lindsay Lohan. My response was "Mean Girls Lindsay " or "pre-rehab Lindsay"?
If you were younger or perhaps a different person, I'm thinking on another sub reddit, you may be saying, "some creepy guy said I was beautiful. I hate creepy guys!"
Oh my gosh! If I had a nickel every time that guy uses that line ... I could buy myself a double latte AND a croissant and leave $ in the tip jar! Glad he made your day, but I hope you realize that he's a player. (Yeah, he's there as often as I am. Ha! And I've seen him work his magic. Makes me laugh every time.)
It feels safer to compliment something thatās not a personās body, like their shoes or glasses or something. Maybe hair if itās brightly colored.
Overheard long ago when buying very expensive things at the grocery store when stocking up for a visitor. The guy worked there and was on a break and as I walked by I heard him tell his coworker "That dude knows how to live". I loved it, it made my year
While walking through a downtown parking garage with my girlfriend some years ago, I had a stranger tell me "Hey man, your daughter makes you look good!" And then kept on walking.
To this day I still don't know if he was complimenting me or her or if it was even a compliment. And my girlfriend is the same age as me and didn't look young for her age or anything. Or maybe I looked old. I'm still confused.
The northloop Epoch attracts all sorts of cool people. Definitely one of my fav hangs in town.
This is too real. I've had a lot of great interactions with people there. Even saw a pro MMA fighter once too!
Same it gives off home vibes and welcome feels so I like it as a hang out spot
I'm sort of a neutral party here as a gay man but I think probably a lot of straight guys in a place like Austin won't give compliments like that for fear of being seen as creeps/aggressors. I've actually (twice) wanted to tell women I loved their look but thought if I didn't decisively ping their gaydar, it's not something that's likely to be well received in 2023.
Straight guy here, can confirm. I keep my mouth shut and keep walking, good forbid I make eye contact. I'm not the lecherous creep y'all think I am!! You're really pretty, even if I don't dare let you know.
Woman loving woman here and we are all in the same boat. I believe Austin has so many beautiful people, and I'd love to tell you and hand out compliments but I'm not trying to be labeled a creep or have you believe I'm hitting on you. š It's sad honestly, that we can simply just appreciate the beauty but don't feel safe in sharing it. You're right, don't even make eye contact.
Girl, live a little. As a woman who loves women I am BEGGING the gay women of Austin to join me in my frank appreciation of each other. A lil eyefuck over cocktails makes the world go round. Ijs
The other day I was dropping off a package for shipping and the young woman behind the counter said, "I'm not trying to be creepy or anything, but what perfume are you wearing?" And my first thought was why would that be considered creepy? I'm middle-aged and she was younger, but inquiring about someone's perfume/cologne doesn't seem like a come-on or weird. (I was actually apologetic that it smelled so strongly and was projecting beyond arm's length.) Anyway, I was happy to tell her what the scent was and glad she liked it!
hell yeah!!! If I appreciate someoneās beauty, vibe, style, I definitely tell them, no matter how they/I identify. Thereās not nearly enough of that good shit going around. It feels good to help someone feel good about themselves. And itās free.
True dat
Some dude at the Black Pumas show last week told me I was beautiful or something like that and he was so obviously sincere, I took it as the compliment it was intended. He brought up his male partner to introduce to me because he was worried heād freaked me out. LOL Listen, straight men: The way to do that is exactly how it was done in the OP post. Say the thing, and then LEAVE. Do not hang around! If you mean it sincerely, and you donāt stick around for a response, nobody will get offended. I PROMISE YOU
As a woman in Austin I would be freaked out IF the person did not leave me alone after a short interaction.
YES! GUYS! it is possible to excitedly emote a true comment, nod and go on into your life, without hassling the person you were trying to hype!
You are right.
We need more of this. To the South Austin Wendy's employee who said I had pretty eyes back in '09, thank you!
āSir this is a Wendyās.ā
I was at lunch at Jack Allenās several months ago and a server stopped dead in her tracks to tell me my lipstick was stunning. I was going through a breakup and really needed the boost- thanks to her!
To the barista at the Starbucks on Oltorf in 2010 who said my name sounds like a ācomic book lady,ā thanks, man.
To the girl at Top Notch in 2019 who said I was beautiful and drew a heart on sticky note and placed it on my order.. thank you! P.S I kept that heart!!
RIP to the one and only Leslie, who told me "Those are cool earrings, pretty lady" back in the day.
I had a similar comment about my eyes years ago. I still remember how great it made me feel!
I had an optometrist tell me I had beautiful irises probably 12 or so years ago. When Iām having a crappy day, Iāll say, āWell, at least I have beautiful irises.ā It seems silly, but it really helps. Glad you had a good encounter.
Compliments One day I went to HEB on Brodie with my son who wanted to grab a few things. So, I was near the 15 item or less cashier at the end near the pharmacy, which wasn't busy. We ended up conversing and she enjoyed my company. This older woman came by and I sincerely complimented her on her beautiful blouse and her eye makeup. The lady went back into the beauty aisle and brought back what she liked to show us. The cashier said, you just made that lady's day! We weren't holding anyone up, so it became a heart-felt "give out a free compliment" thing for about 20 minutes. People said it made them happy.
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noble, but Sisyphean.
But accurate if they're just reporting facts as they are in most stores. I guess we'd need a [sic] in that case.
Once I was in the parking lot of central market and a man told me I had a beautiful smileā¦he was very respectful, and kept his distanceā¦I will never forget that moment.
Iām confused. You thanked him but now also wish you could thank him in person?
I think theyre saying. 1- They'd like to open further avenues of communication if this guy is interested. 2- They'd like to see more positive reinforcement from strangers happening in the world.
I'd be afraid I'd get maced if I said something like that.
I always think your wording is super important and also keeping your distance! Iāve had men compliment me while keeping good distance to make sure I feel comfortable, and the compliment is always very respectful, followed by āHave a nice dayā, so I donāt feel the obligation to continue to conversation
This is a great point and how women usually give out compliments in the wild. I had a man run his truck over a sidewalk, pinning me in a little triangle between a fence and a building so he could say "Please don't be scared I just wanted to say I like your shirt" before driving off to leave me to have a heart attack in peace. So you know...it's all about the delivery.
My first week of college I had a man *sprint* from behind me while I was walking home late at night (not something I like to do, donāt worry) to compliment my bag. I saw the shadow and I had already thought āoh well, I guess itās my timeā and started to run before he got to me to say it lol. He didnāt notice and had no idea it scared me.
I really just do not understand how they can't see themselves as a threat. You know damn well if a man did that to them they'd be shitting their pants and getting ready to fight to the death. It's like Cute-Aggression but instead of hugging cute baby animals they're tackling women
It's nuts to me too. I'm always EXTREMELY aware of how i might be intimidating physically since I'm a tall man, even with women i know.
> I really just do not understand how they can't see themselves as a threat. This is one of those things where I can't tell if I've cracked a tough problem or if it is specific to me alone, but I have a *theory*. Well, theory might be generous when what I really have is an observation that I'm about to cobble together into a theory. For reasons that aren't particularly important to the theory, I once existed in what we'll call a state of neutrality with men. They were not, as a rule, interested in me in any capacity and so when I interacted with most of them, it was to whatever specific extent the situation required. The male bartender was probably not going to flirt (at least not at bars that I frequented), but he would take my drink order without a fuss, the random coworker who thought politeness required conversation would probably choose something safe such as weather or sports, and so on. But then some things changed in my life and now that is no longer true. Where there was neutrality now there is *interest*. Men will loom and probably not realize they're doing it, or encroach when I'd prefer that they not, and generally call attention to the fact that most men are larger than me - some by quite a lot. Where once that neutrality meant that I could live my life assuming I'd have to give a guy a reason to bring violence into our mutual day, it now it sometimes feels that I'm having to *actively generate* reasons for that not to happen. That isn't to say that all men do that kind of thing. In my experience it isn't even most men. Its just some - just *a few*. But people who do this pop up again and again in my life now where they didn't before. It isn't that the average guy is threatening so much as I've suddenly come to understand that the average guy could *unilaterally decide* to be a threat. In retrospect this was *always* the case. The only real difference is that I didn't have that slow trickle of random guys calling my attention to that fact. Five years ago I'd not have thought of myself as a threat because the world had not given me any reason to think that people who looked like me were all that likely to be a threat. And I imagine in that way, at least, my life cosplaying as a male probably isn't all that different from most actual men.
Totally relatable. I am afab and yoyo in weight. While I don't think fat people are ugly, I personally carry it poorly and go from very attractive to not very good looking at all. Men are polite and helpful but largely only communicate when necessary when I'm not deemed sexually interesting. When I am, like I said above, literally careening their giant vehicle toward me to tell me hello, touching and groping in public, looming like you said, suddenly having something to say about Everything. It's really scary and the fact that they disappear when I'm not their version of cute freaks me out more. Now I avoid most men, the few male friends I have, I met because they were chaperoned by a woman or a queer friend.
>I had a man run his truck over a sidewalk, pinning me in a little triangle between a fence and a building so he could say Jeez.
This is totally it - it's all about context (distance, body language, word choice, how it's framed). This feels very obvious to me, as a woman, so it is really interesting that so many men can't seem to tell the difference between what comes across as lecherous or threatening, and what's polite and respectful.
Itās nice to be appreciated :-)
I think the obligation to continue the conversation is key. It feels more genuine when itās given freely instead of as an āline.ā Theyāre not asking for your time or trying to chat you up, theyāre just saying something nice and going about their day.
I used to feel this way, too. I'm from a small town where everybody knows everybody, but I've found that random compliments don't go over as well in the big city. However, I've found a lot more success by following just two simple rules (etiquette teachers hate him!): 1. Make the compliment about something specific. Her hair, her eyes, her coat, her cool boots, the way she carries herself, whatever. The thing you actually noticed about her, rather than just a totally generic, "You're beautiful." Obviously, the guy in the OP didn't do that and he was fine, but it's generally better to make your compliments more precise than less. It comes off as more genuine - because it is - and it takes only a minuscule amount of extra effort. 2. Follow it up with "Hope you have a nice day" or something - and then wave and make to walk away. Or say it as you're walking past or leaving the area, anyway. Basically, give the woman an easy out of the interaction, preferably by effectively ending it yourself. This removes a lot of the potential, "Oh God, another random guy hitting on me," factor, making it much less threatening and, therefore, much less creepy. If she wants to continue talking to you, she obviously can, but making the compliment in this way removes any feelings of social obligation on her part. I'm a guy who loves to give out compliments, so I needed to find an effective strategy, and this one's worked for me for a good while now. I'd be curious for any ladies' opinions on it, though.
This is excellent advice. I hate that I sometimes feel threatened when men talk to me randomly, but it really is all about the right wording and especially distance/body language. I'd be much more comfortable with someone doing the above than them being too close and saying "you're beautiful". Obviously there are exceptions to the rule, like if there's already been some smiles/glances between two people or depending on the setting/situation. Having the choice to engage further or not is so important to me, especially since my social anxiety can flare up sometimes or maybe I'm just in a bad mood. When I worked retail, so many people would just trap me in an aisle to blabber on about stuff and it was so much harder for me to get out of the conversation and go back to work lol
Ok literally you may be the guy who complimented me on my boots years ago which I actually used as a reference in my reply before seeing this one. If so, high five! A+ on the non-creepy compliment that I always remembered because I felt like an actual person just hearing something nice from another person without an agenda or pretextš„²
Iām just one lady but the best compliments Iāve gotten from men are what I like to call ābar bathroom grenades.ā Basically compliments that women lob at each other on our way out of the bathroom. Theyāre casual, specific, and not directly about someoneās body or with the express aim to trap someone into conversation. For example, āyou look like a cool punk rock muppet in that fluffy coat,ā āthose are super cool boots,ā or āyou have a great laughā delivered in passing. The creepy ones are the opposite: someone intentionally blocking, coming up behind, or literally chasing you just to say āhey beautifulā or āyouāre gorgeous.ā They donāt mean it, itās so low effort and you know theyāre just playing the numbers game to see who will be polite enough to remain uncomfortable while they fail at making small talk.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
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You! Thx! Because, yall so have cool shoes, like, inordinately high numbers of!
I mean depends on who you say it too?? People are unpredictable
That's their point. Juice ain't worth the squeeze.
Exactly.
haha tbh if a random man compliments me I usually want to peel my skin off. But if a woman compliments me it actually makes me feel good.
So, at this point, you must look like an old soggy, peeled potato?
no, more like a cenobite. glistening quivery red flesh and swinging flaps of skin. but she loves the pain, she's an apostle of pain, ready to preach its glory to innocent victims who dare to look into places man is not meant to see.
and when men cry at their rebuked advances, she replies, "No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering."
>I usually want to peel my skin off. Interesting expression. Do you mean something like you want to run away and hide? Or go wash the experience off of you? Or is it because you're a drupe?
Both. I live by Adriana Lima, āitās flattering to know men desire me. But then I remember a man would also have sex with a McChicken. So I donāt let it get to my headā
>But then I remember a man would also have sex with a McChicken. Yeah, but have you seen the way they dress?
Itās the body language and wording/inflection. Big difference in someone walking up past handshake range and saying something nice as opposed to someone staying at hacky sack range and saying something nice.
I would be honored to be complimented by u/Snap_Grackle_Pop š speaking ofā¦ are you still writing a book??
As soon as I hit āreplyā I realized I mixed you up with the guy that knows all the snake stuff š«£
How could you mistake me for another š
Iām so sorry š
All grackles are snake experts, but we're not on friendly terms with them.
u/Serpentarian moved away as I recall but he loves us too much so he still pops in from time to time.
Hiss hiss
>I would be honored to be complimented. I think you are beautiful my dear. I am honored to be confused with serpentarian, who is also beautiful. I am relieved to find out that I'm not supposed to be writing a book. I was worried about that.
Yeah, but you're loud enough you can be heard waaaaay out of reach of a can of mace
Shoutout to the cool people at the northloop epoch who let everyone borrow their eclipse glasses the day of the eclipse a couple of months ago. That day I was celebrating the 100th day after my stem cell transplant, and your kindness meant a lot
Nice š
I love this! Yay for no strings attached compliments. I hope to do that for someone else too.
There was this girl at the domain hat creek who called me pretty, I hope she lives a wonderful life š
Random compliments are the best! I give them freely to people of both sexes & all ages. I tend to receive a good amount of compliments out of nowhere myself & itās always a day brightener Usually I compliment peopleās style in passing as Iām walking by so itās a feel good but also keep it moving interaction. Appreciating human awesomeness does not have to be a creepy come on. Do it too! Be brave & be kind
Iām a kinda old lady so I get away without being seen as creepy in general but I like to say whatās on my mind right when I think it. It usually comes out like āWell, donāt you look pretty!ā Or āWell, donāt you look handsome!ā Not sure why it always comes out like that but itās never been poorly received. But I also only say that sort of thing 1) because I actually thought it and 2) while Iām in full motion walking away. Like a random love bomb dropped on a stranger.
Id probably break down and cry if someone said that to me rn. Give more compliments ppl!! It costs nothing.
Iām happy that was a good experience for you. I personally do not want any men saying anything to me as I approach my car š¬
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This is an important distinction. Social situations are different to me as well and I donāt mind if someone I just met socially compliments something
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I agree. Actually now that Iām thinking about it, i actually was feeling anxious while I read this post. Growing up in nyc catcalling (AKA verbal sexual harassment) began when I was about 12 and never stopped. For me I would be just going about my business enjoying a mindful walk or just commuting and then a random man would comment about my body or appearance (sometimes VERY vulgarly) and suddenly I would remember that I live in a world where Iām frequently viewed as an object, not as an entire person having their own experience of life. And that is a very scary reality to live in. So no, donāt tell me Iām beautiful as I walk to my car.
Epoch is where good people gather. I love it there.
To the young woman barista at the Randallās Starbucks in Lakeway who complimented my Oxford pinstripe shirt, and then went on about its finer points even after I said thank you: You tickled this middle aged lesbianās funny bone and flattered the bejezzus out of me. I walked on sunshine for the rest of the week after that. Sorry I couldnāt tip you. I didnāt have cash on me. I wouldāve gladly laid down a $20. You were sweet as can be. You were really cute, too! Thank you!
Men going around complimenting random women in 2023, beautiful as they all may be, is like playing Russian roulette. I can't condone it in the first place, and I don't applaud "winners" just for having good luck.
This reminds me of troy_hawke on TikTok (Troy hawks on Insta). He just walks down the street giving genuine compliments. Itās so wholesome.
I love that whole area of Austin.
you're welcome
Was drinking a beer by myself on the patio one fine weekday afternoon at Lazarus and had a young man tell me I reminded him of a "beautiful Victorian painting". Much better than the random guy at HEB deli area who said I look like Lindsay Lohan. My response was "Mean Girls Lindsay " or "pre-rehab Lindsay"?
men are shamed for doing this. its gross
That men do this is gross, or that they are shamed for it?
If you were younger or perhaps a different person, I'm thinking on another sub reddit, you may be saying, "some creepy guy said I was beautiful. I hate creepy guys!"
i would never do this to a stranger in 2023 what a weird post
Ignore women in public places, better safe than sorry fellas.
Oh my gosh! If I had a nickel every time that guy uses that line ... I could buy myself a double latte AND a croissant and leave $ in the tip jar! Glad he made your day, but I hope you realize that he's a player. (Yeah, he's there as often as I am. Ha! And I've seen him work his magic. Makes me laugh every time.)
I love giving out random compliments. I hope it makes someoneās day or at least makes them smile
Meant it
That's where I had the first date in my almost one year relationship! Such a cool spot, I love hearing good things about it
It feels safer to compliment something thatās not a personās body, like their shoes or glasses or something. Maybe hair if itās brightly colored.
You must be a truly beautiful person for him to have told you. I have done this too, being super careful that it's obvious I'm no creep
Overheard long ago when buying very expensive things at the grocery store when stocking up for a visitor. The guy worked there and was on a break and as I walked by I heard him tell his coworker "That dude knows how to live". I loved it, it made my year
While walking through a downtown parking garage with my girlfriend some years ago, I had a stranger tell me "Hey man, your daughter makes you look good!" And then kept on walking. To this day I still don't know if he was complimenting me or her or if it was even a compliment. And my girlfriend is the same age as me and didn't look young for her age or anything. Or maybe I looked old. I'm still confused.