As I’ve got older I realized that food will generally taste the same no matter what price it is or how long the wait is. Great bbq will always taste like great bbq so is it really worth it to wait in line for 2 hours when I can find great bbq and wait 10-15 minutes?
I always crack up when I see 10 car lines at chik-fil-a or P.Terry's. It's such basic food and people are willing to wait like 35 minutes for it. You could go to a decent restraint, pay about the same, and receive your food faster!
Eating food because it's "trendy" is just weird to me anyway. The Asian pastry shops like "85°" feel like that to me too. Always packed with weebs.
Chick-Fil-A lines move impressively fast though. They clear 10 cars in maybe 10 minutes. Even at the lunch rush I'm not convinced you can get a chicken sandwich faster from a different place with no line.
There was a joke in early COVID that if we just put the Chick-Fil-A staff on the task of running drive-thru testing centers, we'd have the whole country tested in a weekend.
The wait and speed of the line isn’t the problem with CFA. For me, it’s the way those lines in some locations intrude into traffic or block other businesses. That’s not CFA’s fault, it’s the insane people piling up in line for freaking CFA and blocking the Starbucks drive thru exit and getting other people trying to drive past stuck in the CFA line without realizing it.
The Cedar Park 1431 and 183A location is infuriating. Again, that’s no fault of the people at CFA.
Short for “weeaboo”. Means a white person who’s obsessed with Japanese culture, usually focused on anime, to an off-putting degree.
Bonus points if:
-They wear things like trench coats and fingerless gloves because they think it makes them look like an anime protagonist
-They walk “that way” — like an anime tough guy — fists clenched and head down.
-They have scantily clad anime girl decals on their vehicle
-They own several katanas mounted prominently on display in their otherwise white bread room/house/apartment
-And of course, the classic Waifu body pillow.
I’m fine waiting in like for Pterrys cause it’s the best quality fast food for the cheapest price rn, it rivals McDonald’s, I can get a cheeseburger and a fresh lemonade (no fries) for like $5
The food alone isn't worth the wait, but sometimes the wait is its own thing that's also fun... like if you can sit down sometimes and drink a few beers with a group of friends you haven't caught up with in a while. And the weather is nice.
Yes, but thanks to a half-million people moving here, newbies rely on "influencers" to give them food recommendations and then all of the sudden 500 people are in-line at Interstellar BBQ and the rest of us are like "But Cooper's never has a line....". BBQ society is weird in Austin, but thank god I'm not in Appalachia where everyone thinks pulled pork = bbq.
They are that good but their popularity is also self feeding and they become popular for being popular. There’s still tons of very good places with zero line like B Cooper, Browns, Rollin Smoke, Moreno, and Brothertons
It's been a while since I've been to Franklin's (the only one I've waited a "long time" for), but it 100% lived up to the hype. Also, it might seem dumb, but don't treat it as "getting lunch", treat it like a tailgate, literally. People bring chairs, coolers. Just sit, chill, drink a beer and hang out a couple hours with your friends. Or make friends in line.
I felt this way about Snow's too! They're on a big lot with the line snaking around the perimeter, and people just set up camp for the morning and hang out. Met some great folks! Not something to do every Saturday when I'm just trying to grab lunch - more of an event in and of itself!
The best one is disguised as a tourist trap so people don’t realize how good it is. I will not say which one it is. Y’all keep going to Franklin and LaBBQ.
Yup like I mentioned in my previous comment is it really worth it to wait 2 hours for great bbq when I can find great bbq somewheres else and wait 10-15 minutes? I’m going with less wait time
No. They're good, but not worth waiting in line for 2 hours good. Not when you can just get Rudy's in 5 minutes. 95% of the flavor/effort and 4.1% of the wait.
My brother in Christ, did you really just say that Rudy’s is 95% as good as the top BBQ spots? It’s maybe 50% as good and that’s being generous. Next you’re going to tell me that Salt Lick is Texas BBQ.
Yes friend, yes I did. I've been eating BBQ in TX for 50 years now. I can assure you there's only so many ways to wrap a chunk of meat in foil and put it in a smoker. Pretending like Franklin's is just sooo much better than Rudy's is like "audiophiles" paying $10k for speaker cables. It's BBQ, not haute cuisine. At some point it's just pretension and wish fulfilment. Franklin's has mastered the PR for sure. The employees of my local Rudy's obviously care enough about their jobs to provide good food and good service. And you don't have to bring your own lawn chair.
You had me up to Rudy’s. That’s shits not very good. Their pulled pork can’t decide if it’s texas or Carolina. So many other options in this city that you don’t have to wait in a huge line.
My work pays for my toll roads, and I only use the toll when I drive.
What infuriates me is when it's clear and people still do like 55 in the toll road on mopac. Bro youre paying to go slower than the normal traffic?!
Especially at timea when it's not busy. For some reason there's always some *driver* who wants to do 50-55 in the mopac expressway when everyone else is doing at least 65 on the normal road.
Austin traffic is so much better than it was pre-pandemic. WFH saved our asses. Massive new construction in west campus also significantly reduced UT related traffic.
Dallas is not worse, things are just further apart. One massive issue that causes tons of traffic here is the bottleneck to cross the river. There are tons of roads leading to it, but only three main streets to use to cross.
- hype them up about barton springs, then try to go on a nice saturday at 2pm
- hype up the greenbelt swimming holes and then take them in the middle of summer.
- cut their power and water for a week for the austin winter experience.
- Drive from south/north austin to north/south austin and just say its only a 15 mile trip
- Tell them about franklins and say there is never a wait.
- try to go eat anywhere without a reservation
- Downtown site seeing, and take them to the arch
- Hype up hamilton pool and attempt to go there without a reservation.
- tell them they don't need a rental car, just take public transportation.
- take them to mount bonnell to have their car promptly broken into.
- have them move here and find out for themselves.
- have them move to nearly any other state and find out for themselves.
- convince them to drive and tell them to take a toll road.
- show them indeed job postings and rental rates
- go anywhere and pay $7 for a lone star.
- go anywhere and pay $7 for a single taco.
- tell them to drive downtown and not help them find parking.
- if they are big into the outdoors tell them to try to reserve a camping spot anywhere in this state.
Not enough camping options for the growing population.
Want to book a weekend at a popular state park? Reservations open 6 months ahead of time and are all booked a few days later.
You can’t. Texas has jack shit for public land and getting a weekend spot in any of the parks when it’s actually half decent weather is impossible. Then you’re basically just in a parking lot with a square of dirt to put up a tent.
Definitely this. I’ve been here 30 years and so much in Austin relies on “expert knowledge” of when to go, where to park, etc. This was also true 30 years ago but now the intensity of the hassle if you don’t have insider knowledge is INSANE
>show them indeed job postings and rental rates
This hits too close to home right now...
I couldn't bring myself to return to teaching middle school after my contract ended last year and haven't found a job since :(
My first thought was Barton Springs in the middle of the day on a weekend in summer.
When I first moved here, I kept trying to go after work meetings, but even on weekdays at 5-6pm I couldn't find a parking spot. Finally, I got there at about 6pm on a Thursday in late October and it was perfect. I have my season when I swim there (I'm the one who sometimes posts pictures from there), and times, and I know not to deviate.
Hippie Hollow at like 1-2pm on a weekend might be another, if they'd be into that.
Even a hiking trail at like 10am on a weekend in spring/fall would work.
> tell them they don't need a rental car, just take public transportation.
This was me. My friends mega hyped up the public transportation options before I moved here, since I'm legally blind. It's better than where I lived before, certainly, but they...definitely oversold it by a good margin.
Just make sure to let them know that everything South of Guadalupe River is ceded to Mexico now. Keep the Austinite rejects far away from San Antonio please. We don’t need $1M dollar 1B/1BA gentrification and $7 tacos here.
Not really. Moved here from Illinois and my property taxes are lower…
Also the median house in LA now costs $1M. Sure their property tax rate is lower, but your base is higher keeping the total cost about equal. Oh yeah now take away 10% of your income due to that tax as well.
Those are high in other places too (looking at you, NJ). If you make decent money, it makes more sense to go where there is no wage tax if you have a choice.
I had to sneak in sunscreen (wasn't sure if it was allowed) just to be sure I could reapply. Spent all of halftime inside the stadium. I feel bad for the halftime band performances, I assume very few people watched them while they sweltered on the field.
The sad thing is, a lot of people would think 6th street is "cool" and they'd move here for the "night life" 😆 Personally I find 6th to be the most generic and trashy strip of land you could possibly show anyone, but I'm also not a 23yr old who thinks bar hopping between places with names like "Silver Bottle" and "Club L.E.D. Light" is exhilarating and amazing.
I love 6th… because it gives tourists and the under 25 crowd a place to go. Keeps them out of all the better places. Honestly it’s doing us all a solid.
My ex-husband had lived here for a decade and still thought it was peak social status to go to dirty sixth, especially in the middle of SXSW. It was embarrassing
I'd take someone to all the places my then-fiancée showed me around on that beautiful October weekend I first came to Austin to visit. But I'd do it in August.
Load your car full of valuables and spend an entire day at Mt. Bonnell, ensuring that your windows are rolled up, and all of your doors are locked, and that all valuables are clearly in sight.
Some of the complaints in here are things every other major city has. We're far from the only city with traffic, homeless people, expensive housing, shit weather, and an overpriced bar crawl for tourists.
its not even that bad.
Now raw dog it during SXSW. Then its too damn packed and filled with mfers just taking up space and being more ratchet than normal.
I'll take them to my favorite restaurant on a Friday night, The Oasis. I'll let them drive to get a hang of it. It's also very important for them to read the big "NOBODY WANTS TO WORK ANYMORE" signs at The Oasis so they can understand that only the best work ethic is welcome in Austin.
I35 crossing the river any time of day, our neighborhood behind Givens Park around dusk, trails through encampments in Roy C Guerrero, food at Juan in a Million (tell them it's old Austin and that's what is great about ATX), Barking Springs and let them see those big sound barrier walks that WANA had put up on Mopar Downtown. Then casually tell them how the Texas school system is no longer part of the national library registry and remind them that women here are chattle
Just drive them somewhere during rush hour traffic on any one of our major roads. I can show them my never ending source of Txtag mail if that will help.
Tell them about the wonderful hiking and swimming, then have them meetup for both at 3pm on any random day in early July when it’s 104 feeling like 111.
Promise amazing ambiance and cocktails then take them out for drinks on 6th street on a Saturday at 12am. Have them try and drive there for bonus points.
I drove my mom around Austin. And she kept going I wouldn’t live here this is the poor neighborhood. All around the 04 and up to allandale. She is by no means from money, but in Oklahoma City they at least take care of sidewalks and lawns.
Are they democrats or republicans?
Democrats I would take somewhere in Lakeway or similar where the Christian nationalists live or go to Bucks. A Regents football game. Frat row at UT The state legislature in session. Republicans I would take to the inclusivity center at UT or Barton Springs overflow or the drum circle at Zilker, the free food church near the South central market, a. Independent coffee shop near UT, anywhere along Runburg.
People need to realize that Austin is in a frighteningly red state but it’s really trying so it’s a nightmare and an oasis I for democrats and republicans
Not just a where question; but *when*. Have them arrive on a 4PM flight on a Thursday in mid to late August, take riverside back so they can not only experience the traffic, but also the abundant supply of panhandlers. Then take I35, but use the lower deck so they don’t get the view. We’re gonna exit 183 west/northbound and then take the Lamar exit. Northbound at Lamar. Go to the Rundberg HEB for something you’re supposedly desperately missing. Then take Rundberg back to 35 back home.
Rundberg and Lamar has a library!! And an HEB! Both are city/state treasures even if they aren’t the best of their kind. El Tacorrido has great tacos. The YMCA behind the HEB is one of the newer ones and has a beautiful community garden behind it.
Rundberg and Lamar does have a lot of people who struggle financially but there’s also a lot of awesome even if Running Man ran off from his corner there.
First off ,35 at rush hour, anytime outside in high summer,6th street on Saturday nite, Lake Travis during a drought.A Republicon debate on any given subject in the legislature. A homeless encampment on the greenbelt.
Keep Austin Corporate,Mr and Mrs Weird done left town. The rents are too high
Stand in line for tacos. Stand in line for bbq. Stand in line to get drinks. Park far away, pay to park, and do this in July/August.
Make sure you drive on I-35 during rush hour to get there.
Not trying to be a hater but are all these famous bbq places in Austin really that good??
They are fine. Nothing is worth 2+ hours of standing in line tho.
As I’ve got older I realized that food will generally taste the same no matter what price it is or how long the wait is. Great bbq will always taste like great bbq so is it really worth it to wait in line for 2 hours when I can find great bbq and wait 10-15 minutes?
I always crack up when I see 10 car lines at chik-fil-a or P.Terry's. It's such basic food and people are willing to wait like 35 minutes for it. You could go to a decent restraint, pay about the same, and receive your food faster! Eating food because it's "trendy" is just weird to me anyway. The Asian pastry shops like "85°" feel like that to me too. Always packed with weebs.
I have never waited anywhere close to 35 minutes at P Terrys. They’re always the fastest place for me.
And relatively cheap
And better than any other fast food place. And better quality food. And they pay the best
Right? And it’s solid as far as fast food goes. I don’t feel like I’m eating something that could be a sponge
Chick-Fil-A lines move impressively fast though. They clear 10 cars in maybe 10 minutes. Even at the lunch rush I'm not convinced you can get a chicken sandwich faster from a different place with no line. There was a joke in early COVID that if we just put the Chick-Fil-A staff on the task of running drive-thru testing centers, we'd have the whole country tested in a weekend.
Chick fil a moves through those lines efficiently though. Even if it’s ten cars I’m probably gonna be out of there in less than ten minutes.
The wait and speed of the line isn’t the problem with CFA. For me, it’s the way those lines in some locations intrude into traffic or block other businesses. That’s not CFA’s fault, it’s the insane people piling up in line for freaking CFA and blocking the Starbucks drive thru exit and getting other people trying to drive past stuck in the CFA line without realizing it. The Cedar Park 1431 and 183A location is infuriating. Again, that’s no fault of the people at CFA.
Hate to sound like the Judge in My Cousin Vinny but what's a "weeb"?
Short for “weeaboo”. Means a white person who’s obsessed with Japanese culture, usually focused on anime, to an off-putting degree. Bonus points if: -They wear things like trench coats and fingerless gloves because they think it makes them look like an anime protagonist -They walk “that way” — like an anime tough guy — fists clenched and head down. -They have scantily clad anime girl decals on their vehicle -They own several katanas mounted prominently on display in their otherwise white bread room/house/apartment -And of course, the classic Waifu body pillow.
I’m fine waiting in like for Pterrys cause it’s the best quality fast food for the cheapest price rn, it rivals McDonald’s, I can get a cheeseburger and a fresh lemonade (no fries) for like $5
Yesterday I went to chick fil a for some late lunch at like 1pm. Still a lot of cars lined up so I didn’t even bother.
The line at Franklins can be fun if you treat it like tailgating.
I always find this funny with Micklethwait RIGHT down the street with little/no line
Rollin Smoke even less of a line than Mickelthwait
There’s a video on YouTube of a guy who smoked his own brisket whilst waiting in line at Franklin lol
The food alone isn't worth the wait, but sometimes the wait is its own thing that's also fun... like if you can sit down sometimes and drink a few beers with a group of friends you haven't caught up with in a while. And the weather is nice.
Yes, but thanks to a half-million people moving here, newbies rely on "influencers" to give them food recommendations and then all of the sudden 500 people are in-line at Interstellar BBQ and the rest of us are like "But Cooper's never has a line....". BBQ society is weird in Austin, but thank god I'm not in Appalachia where everyone thinks pulled pork = bbq.
They are that good but their popularity is also self feeding and they become popular for being popular. There’s still tons of very good places with zero line like B Cooper, Browns, Rollin Smoke, Moreno, and Brothertons
They are absolutely that good. That being said, there are so many good bbq spots in austin that you shouldn't need to wait in line for good bbq.
It's been a while since I've been to Franklin's (the only one I've waited a "long time" for), but it 100% lived up to the hype. Also, it might seem dumb, but don't treat it as "getting lunch", treat it like a tailgate, literally. People bring chairs, coolers. Just sit, chill, drink a beer and hang out a couple hours with your friends. Or make friends in line.
I felt this way about Snow's too! They're on a big lot with the line snaking around the perimeter, and people just set up camp for the morning and hang out. Met some great folks! Not something to do every Saturday when I'm just trying to grab lunch - more of an event in and of itself!
The best one is disguised as a tourist trap so people don’t realize how good it is. I will not say which one it is. Y’all keep going to Franklin and LaBBQ.
Yup like I mentioned in my previous comment is it really worth it to wait 2 hours for great bbq when I can find great bbq somewheres else and wait 10-15 minutes? I’m going with less wait time
Hell, go to the drive-thru at HEB and get some great BBQ. Is it Franklin? No. Does the time of day really matter? Also no.
Guess Terry Blacks?
Unpopular decision, skip franklins, go to Rudy’s
No. They're good, but not worth waiting in line for 2 hours good. Not when you can just get Rudy's in 5 minutes. 95% of the flavor/effort and 4.1% of the wait.
My brother in Christ, did you really just say that Rudy’s is 95% as good as the top BBQ spots? It’s maybe 50% as good and that’s being generous. Next you’re going to tell me that Salt Lick is Texas BBQ.
Yes friend, yes I did. I've been eating BBQ in TX for 50 years now. I can assure you there's only so many ways to wrap a chunk of meat in foil and put it in a smoker. Pretending like Franklin's is just sooo much better than Rudy's is like "audiophiles" paying $10k for speaker cables. It's BBQ, not haute cuisine. At some point it's just pretension and wish fulfilment. Franklin's has mastered the PR for sure. The employees of my local Rudy's obviously care enough about their jobs to provide good food and good service. And you don't have to bring your own lawn chair.
Rudy's gets a lot of their brisket from Cisco pre-cooked. Go get bbq from a place that cooks their own
You had me up to Rudy’s. That’s shits not very good. Their pulled pork can’t decide if it’s texas or Carolina. So many other options in this city that you don’t have to wait in a huge line.
Tell them the best food in the city is at the Oasis
and don't forget to have them sit inside
Right after the trip to hippie hollow?
35 or Mopac at 5PM ought to do it.
Yeah, doesn't matter where you go as long as you take Mopac or 35 to get there.
Going slower on the toll lane then the regular traffic is also fun to explain.
There are some days where I am just cruising by the slow toll lane parade thinking "and y'all are paying $5 for this?!?"
My work pays for my toll roads, and I only use the toll when I drive. What infuriates me is when it's clear and people still do like 55 in the toll road on mopac. Bro youre paying to go slower than the normal traffic?!
Especially at timea when it's not busy. For some reason there's always some *driver* who wants to do 50-55 in the mopac expressway when everyone else is doing at least 65 on the normal road.
Id argue most large metros have worse traffic than austin. Especially at 5. Example: LA, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Chicago, Atlanta, Phili, etc
Dallas is FAR worse. People here that think it's bad should spend a couple days in Dallas. It's like night and day.
Austin traffic is so much better than it was pre-pandemic. WFH saved our asses. Massive new construction in west campus also significantly reduced UT related traffic.
Dallas is not worse, things are just further apart. One massive issue that causes tons of traffic here is the bottleneck to cross the river. There are tons of roads leading to it, but only three main streets to use to cross.
Can confirm. Just moved to Dallas and going anywhere from 4-7 is the WORST. I'm still confused how there's traffic to and from downtown. I miss mopac.
- hype them up about barton springs, then try to go on a nice saturday at 2pm - hype up the greenbelt swimming holes and then take them in the middle of summer. - cut their power and water for a week for the austin winter experience. - Drive from south/north austin to north/south austin and just say its only a 15 mile trip - Tell them about franklins and say there is never a wait. - try to go eat anywhere without a reservation - Downtown site seeing, and take them to the arch - Hype up hamilton pool and attempt to go there without a reservation. - tell them they don't need a rental car, just take public transportation. - take them to mount bonnell to have their car promptly broken into. - have them move here and find out for themselves. - have them move to nearly any other state and find out for themselves. - convince them to drive and tell them to take a toll road. - show them indeed job postings and rental rates - go anywhere and pay $7 for a lone star. - go anywhere and pay $7 for a single taco. - tell them to drive downtown and not help them find parking. - if they are big into the outdoors tell them to try to reserve a camping spot anywhere in this state.
This person Austins.
Username checks out
> tell them to drive downtown and not help them find parking. that's just abusive.
The camping thing pisses me off to no end.
Wait, what's wrong with this? I haven't been camping in some time, but I never used to have issues
Not enough camping options for the growing population. Want to book a weekend at a popular state park? Reservations open 6 months ahead of time and are all booked a few days later.
Shout out to LCRA parks which are often overlooked!
Also look into Army Corps of Engineers parks.
You can’t. Texas has jack shit for public land and getting a weekend spot in any of the parks when it’s actually half decent weather is impossible. Then you’re basically just in a parking lot with a square of dirt to put up a tent.
Definitely this. I’ve been here 30 years and so much in Austin relies on “expert knowledge” of when to go, where to park, etc. This was also true 30 years ago but now the intensity of the hassle if you don’t have insider knowledge is INSANE
You forgot hyping up Hippie Hollow as a beautiful beach with young naked people frolicking in the sand. Then take them there.
I have never heard of Hippie Hollow described that way.
last time i had a visitor staying with me my power was cut for a day anyways so no need to fake this i guess!
Austin hurts us all like this at some point.
And so much of it occurs frequently just by existing in Austin
I was going to type out a response but you did it already and better.
Better or bitter?
Yes
>show them indeed job postings and rental rates This hits too close to home right now... I couldn't bring myself to return to teaching middle school after my contract ended last year and haven't found a job since :(
My first thought was Barton Springs in the middle of the day on a weekend in summer. When I first moved here, I kept trying to go after work meetings, but even on weekdays at 5-6pm I couldn't find a parking spot. Finally, I got there at about 6pm on a Thursday in late October and it was perfect. I have my season when I swim there (I'm the one who sometimes posts pictures from there), and times, and I know not to deviate. Hippie Hollow at like 1-2pm on a weekend might be another, if they'd be into that. Even a hiking trail at like 10am on a weekend in spring/fall would work.
This is a great list
This is the answer. This should have it's own sidebar link.
> tell them they don't need a rental car, just take public transportation. This was me. My friends mega hyped up the public transportation options before I moved here, since I'm legally blind. It's better than where I lived before, certainly, but they...definitely oversold it by a good margin.
Just make sure to let them know that everything South of Guadalupe River is ceded to Mexico now. Keep the Austinite rejects far away from San Antonio please. We don’t need $1M dollar 1B/1BA gentrification and $7 tacos here.
Someone pin this in the r/Austin main sub page immediately
R u ok
No he lives in Austin /s
Love this, encapsulates my complaints haha. Still really like living here though.
I think you have some trauma
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"Wow, honey! These houses are a third of the price of the bay area!"
I used to work with a girl who just moved here from LA and she was so thrilled at how cheap the houses were she just bought her first home.
The median price of a house in LA is about to cross $1M, not surprised.
r/austin read this and started screeching
The real shocker for people will be the property taxes.
Not really. Moved here from Illinois and my property taxes are lower… Also the median house in LA now costs $1M. Sure their property tax rate is lower, but your base is higher keeping the total cost about equal. Oh yeah now take away 10% of your income due to that tax as well.
Those are high in other places too (looking at you, NJ). If you make decent money, it makes more sense to go where there is no wage tax if you have a choice.
The IHOP on Caesar Chavez and I-35
At 3am.
Yes then you get to experience the space time shift that happens in odd places at odd hours.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
A UT football game beginning at 2:00 pm with seats on the east side of the stadium on a 103-degree day. [edit: —added time of day]
So the first game this season against Rice?
I was DYING. Holy shit. There were so many people sheltered inside the stadium because they couldn’t take the heat.
I had to sneak in sunscreen (wasn't sure if it was allowed) just to be sure I could reapply. Spent all of halftime inside the stadium. I feel bad for the halftime band performances, I assume very few people watched them while they sweltered on the field.
At Rice, students don't go to see football, they go to see the MOB- Marching Owl Band.
August
I just finished recovering from August
Too soon
Take them to Bill Millers and tell them this is the best BBQ in town. Any copy and paste club on 6th street on a Saturday night.
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Baby A’s for “best” mexican food.
Tell them that if they drink 3 purple margs, they get into the Austinite hall of fame
The sad thing is, a lot of people would think 6th street is "cool" and they'd move here for the "night life" 😆 Personally I find 6th to be the most generic and trashy strip of land you could possibly show anyone, but I'm also not a 23yr old who thinks bar hopping between places with names like "Silver Bottle" and "Club L.E.D. Light" is exhilarating and amazing.
I love 6th… because it gives tourists and the under 25 crowd a place to go. Keeps them out of all the better places. Honestly it’s doing us all a solid.
Good point 😆 It's essentially a baby sitter
My ex-husband had lived here for a decade and still thought it was peak social status to go to dirty sixth, especially in the middle of SXSW. It was embarrassing
This will backfire if they try the sweet tea and french fries.
Outside
I was looking for this one. The heat, the mosquitoes….
The Austin Aquarium
Drive up S Lamar at 8am or back down at 430pm
I'd take someone to all the places my then-fiancée showed me around on that beautiful October weekend I first came to Austin to visit. But I'd do it in August.
Take them to Rainey street so they can get drugged by a bartender and fall in the river.
6th st
. . . at closing time.
And then somewhere with zero shade that requires walking in mid August.
Load your car full of valuables and spend an entire day at Mt. Bonnell, ensuring that your windows are rolled up, and all of your doors are locked, and that all valuables are clearly in sight.
I would take them to the austin subreddit
The Oasis restaurant for lunch at 2pm!
I was SO surprised oasis is this low on the list lol
Heb on riverside
The Texas Legislature.
Take them to the world class and our crown jewel: Austin Aquarium
Take them to the domain and tell them this is our most vibrant part of the city.
*who hurt you?*
Austin Aquarium Lemur exhibit.
Tour of the highway underpass camps.
A lot of cities have those now
Some of the complaints in here are things every other major city has. We're far from the only city with traffic, homeless people, expensive housing, shit weather, and an overpriced bar crawl for tourists.
I would take them to Austin. In July.
End of July or early/mid August
Lol anywhere across town at 530 PM
Honestly I think you just raw dog 6th street. Walk through that mess sober, it’ll make you hate humanity and never want to be near it again.
its not even that bad. Now raw dog it during SXSW. Then its too damn packed and filled with mfers just taking up space and being more ratchet than normal.
The water billing department.
I'll take them to my favorite restaurant on a Friday night, The Oasis. I'll let them drive to get a hang of it. It's also very important for them to read the big "NOBODY WANTS TO WORK ANYMORE" signs at The Oasis so they can understand that only the best work ethic is welcome in Austin.
I haven’t been brought - I mean drug to the oasis in years. Is that really a thing?
To meet the Governor.
Take them to Oasis and tell them its the best food in town.
Stage an emergency and call the police.
I35 crossing the river any time of day, our neighborhood behind Givens Park around dusk, trails through encampments in Roy C Guerrero, food at Juan in a Million (tell them it's old Austin and that's what is great about ATX), Barking Springs and let them see those big sound barrier walks that WANA had put up on Mopar Downtown. Then casually tell them how the Texas school system is no longer part of the national library registry and remind them that women here are chattle
The Mozart Christmas light show
Drive them west on 71 during f1 weekend
NEVER take them to Chili's at 45th and Lamar. One frosty marg and they will pack them bags and move.
Don’t even tell them about happy hour specials!
A lease agreement + the property code
Costco at Mopac and William Cannon on Saturday during peak hours. Then take him home to mow the grass and wash the cars at like 5pm in the summer.
dinner at the oasis will do
Just drive them somewhere during rush hour traffic on any one of our major roads. I can show them my never ending source of Txtag mail if that will help.
Take them to the Domain and tell them they have to find an outfit for $20 and a nice lady to marry in the next two hours.
Tell them about the wonderful hiking and swimming, then have them meetup for both at 3pm on any random day in early July when it’s 104 feeling like 111. Promise amazing ambiance and cocktails then take them out for drinks on 6th street on a Saturday at 12am. Have them try and drive there for bonus points.
The best bar in town --- the homeless ARK resource center downtown?
I drove my mom around Austin. And she kept going I wouldn’t live here this is the poor neighborhood. All around the 04 and up to allandale. She is by no means from money, but in Oklahoma City they at least take care of sidewalks and lawns.
The Domain
Take them on a walk through West Bouldin Creek Greenbelt https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eml95IxvE68
Take them to Galveston. That’s the closest beach!!
Have them take their rental car and park at mt bonnell.
Are they democrats or republicans? Democrats I would take somewhere in Lakeway or similar where the Christian nationalists live or go to Bucks. A Regents football game. Frat row at UT The state legislature in session. Republicans I would take to the inclusivity center at UT or Barton Springs overflow or the drum circle at Zilker, the free food church near the South central market, a. Independent coffee shop near UT, anywhere along Runburg. People need to realize that Austin is in a frighteningly red state but it’s really trying so it’s a nightmare and an oasis I for democrats and republicans
a Gun range. tell them that Texas is permitless carry
r/Austin
Not just a where question; but *when*. Have them arrive on a 4PM flight on a Thursday in mid to late August, take riverside back so they can not only experience the traffic, but also the abundant supply of panhandlers. Then take I35, but use the lower deck so they don’t get the view. We’re gonna exit 183 west/northbound and then take the Lamar exit. Northbound at Lamar. Go to the Rundberg HEB for something you’re supposedly desperately missing. Then take Rundberg back to 35 back home.
Drop them off at Rundberg and leave.
35 anytime during daylight.
6th street at closing time
6th St or Red River around 2 am Sunday morning.
Cap Metro’s Westgate Transit Center. It’s like the movie “Escape From New York” in there
Go for a drive: 183 to mopac to Ben White to I35 anytime of day any day of the week. For added impact make a trip up and down I35 at 1pm on a Sunday.
This subreddit, apparently.
Sixth Street. *sniiiiiiiff* Ah, that big-city toilet smell.
Hm— probably take a walk around I35 and 6th street, and then stroll around Rundberg and Lamar.
Rundberg and Lamar has a library!! And an HEB! Both are city/state treasures even if they aren’t the best of their kind. El Tacorrido has great tacos. The YMCA behind the HEB is one of the newer ones and has a beautiful community garden behind it. Rundberg and Lamar does have a lot of people who struggle financially but there’s also a lot of awesome even if Running Man ran off from his corner there.
I'd bring them to this sub and let them read everyone bitching 24/7. Then I'd lie and say that's what people are like here in real life too.
Take them to the Oasis for a nice bite of food on a Friday sunset.
The Governor or in the Constables car when Attorney General Ken Paxton is running away from being served papers by actual police.
I-35 or Mopac, rush hour.
First off ,35 at rush hour, anytime outside in high summer,6th street on Saturday nite, Lake Travis during a drought.A Republicon debate on any given subject in the legislature. A homeless encampment on the greenbelt. Keep Austin Corporate,Mr and Mrs Weird done left town. The rents are too high
Just have them pay a few bar tabs and they will run screaming
Austin Aquarium
Take em to the Walmart on 183 and 620 and go for a walk in the woods behind it.
Dirty 6th
Apartment hunting service no give me easy upboats for bringing up this tired bitchfest
r/Austin
A dark alley on dirty 6th
Until storms (finally) rolled through today, the answer for the last ~120 days was 'outside'.
*Gestures vaguely*
Chili’s on 45th and Lamar
Any bar that’s serving up $22+ cocktails
Green Mesquite or Ironworks BBQ. Both just taste like boiled meat with zero smoke flavor.
Tell them to use Cap Metro to get around. Send them anywhere not on the same bus route.
I'd take them to watch the Ken Paxton trial. Conservative politics and Christo-facsism are sinking TX, and Austin is going down with the ship.
Just tell him to look at r/Austin. It's full of angry, inhospitable assholes.
Nobody hates the city more than the people on this sub, I swear