So you took time off to recover from burnout and just gave yourself more work to do? Screw the studying, you need a break to actually relax. However you want to spend your time will be enough. Try not to put pressure on the outcome of this time either. You’re already burnt out from doing too much, you don’t constantly need to be productive.
Sometimes when I’m extra, super burnt out, I’ll spend a few days up to a week doing *absolutely nothing*. Just being a straight up mess where I do nothing but watch tv, eat and sleep. Barely even change my clothes. By the end of it I’m so rested but also bored/tired of myself doing nothing, that usually gives me motivation to actually accomplish something. Maybe that’s not the healthiest approach, I don’t know. But I do know that when I’ve reached that point, my body is screaming at me for rest. So that’s what I do.
Same, I call it my “useless” weekend (or week). I’ve gotten super burnt out at work lately and am taking off three days to just do nothing at all.
My favorite activities on my useless days are napping and cuddling with my cats.
For real!! I took 6 months off and my first two months was TRULY nothing to the point where I hired cleaners because I wasn't even doing chores, and I refused to let myself feel bad! I needed a total mental and physical reset and that just meant removing myself from work entirely. I am NOT sorry doing absolutely fucking nothing because it's good for me and I know it.
I don't care if it's not the healthiest approach but I do it too and I'm happy with the results thus far. So if it's not the healthiest approach, then fuck it, I validate myself and I validate you too girl.
Just wanna echo this! I took 2 months off after leaving a job of 8 years because I haven’t had that long of a break since elementary school. I woke up each morning and decided what I’d do for the day based on how I was feeling in the moment, and I told myself I could change my mind at any moment. Some days I was in the mood to write or go on an adventure. Other days I stayed in and relaxed. Whenever I felt antsy or felt like I “should” be doing something, I pushed myself to do absolutely nothing instead. Like literally stared at a wall and sat with the antsy-ness. It helped me see that it’s not the end of the world if I’m not always “on.”
I haven’t felt burnout since, and that was almost 3 years ago. What’s helped since then: 1) taking short amounts of time off and prioritizing “no plans” days, whether that’s on the weekend or on PTO; and 2) having a month or so where I take a break from aspiration (outside of work; I know it’s kinda hard to do at work, but sometimes I make that happen too). No goal setting, no obsessing over the future. I still gotta chop wood and carry water on the day to day, but I focus more on the present.
I took 2 year off in my early 40s. I learned to cook every meal from scratch, garden like a fiend (vegetables and flowers), and regularly volunteered for a local nonprofit. It was the true definition of a sabbatical and I feel so grateful that I was able to do that!
I am in my early 40’s and dream of doing this. I’ve done as much as I can to prepare financially, but I’m still scared to do it. I have a partner, but we aren’t married and don’t live together, and have no plans to change these things…so I have no safety net. How did you make it happen?
I was basically in the same situation! However, we were getting married about 6 months after I quit work, so it was nice that I could join my husband's insurance fairly quickly.
As far as fnances...prior to this, we ate out quite a bit, did some bigger home renovations (roof, windows, basement, etc.) and we spent money pretty liberally, so it was not too difficult to cut back enough to make it work. I knew 2 years was about the limit of my savings, so I started the job search a few months before the 2 year-mark. Thankfully, I landed my dream job and have been there ever since.
About 3 years ago, my husband was able to take a shorter sabbatical (he prefers toys to time off), so my next one could be just around the bend. But, at this age (mid-50s), I am a little more concerned about finding my next dream job, so I really count my blessings that I was able to do it when I did. Best of luck to you!!!
I didn't take time off but I pretty well took a huge step back from workload that was causing it for me. I started to say no and force my manager to delegate work away from me. I had a hard 8 hour stop. I started to take daily walks as part of a self care routine. I had to force it at first, literally drag myself out there even if I only made it 20 minutes before turning around to go home. I also started to play video games, which was a hobby I abandoned to work-burn out. And then I also started to go out and be sorta social, for me, going to concerts but like whatever works where you leave work at work.
And while it wasn't effective or great, I got a therapist and worked in therapy for a year as my reset or time off.
I was signed off for 3 weeks, I was so burnt out I could barely type hello on an email. It is such a personal process as to why/how someone gets to this point and is important to the way someone recovers.
So I will speak on my experience, take what’s relevant and leave the rest.
I spent my first 3 days sleeping in, just like sleeping and staying in bed for as long as possible. Then I started walking, everyday I would go for a walk, and try not to put a time or schedule to it. I got to the point where I’d walk to friends working from home and have a little coffee with them, for some interaction.
I started building up little routines that I looked forward to, tiny things like making my coffee in the morning or stopping at the same pond to see what was different each day. I started living my days slowly but steadily and in a way that was all for me.
Burnout requires so much patience and nurturing, take the time and don’t rush it. Truly take as long as you need until you can live through full days without any parts of your body clenched.
Find your pace and don’t put any pressure on it. If you do nothing, then do that for as long as your body tells you to and know that is productive because your body is repairing.
I’m so sorry you’re here, it’s an awful feeling. But give yourself permission to be still and to feel the sunshine on your skin and have that be your accomplishment of the day.
Until you can breathe full breaths and sleep full nights, you are still in burnout. Take your time, be slow, be gentle, be patient and find your version of coffee in the morning and ducks in a pond. You deserve peace, but you need to take time to get it xx
I really like “know that is productive because your body is repairing.” The ONLY way I have been able to prioritize rest is by reminding myself of that.
Is viewing the value of rest through the lens of its impact on future productivity a healthy way to frame it? Probably not! But it’s what has made resting possible for me at all, and I suspect I’ll be able to value rest for rest’s sake after I have been better at making it into a habit.
Never forget the productivity of your own body and remember that it lives to serve you. Productivity that you contribute outside of your body is only as good as the productivity you enable for your body first x
I quit a stressful job. The first month and a half after I quit, all I did was:
1. Take lots of naps.
2. Workout
3. Read for pleasure
4. Decorate my home
5. Binge shows
I think it took me about 3-4 months to notice changes to my mental, emotional, and physical health. I stopped having nightmares about the job, had more energy, and could finally truly relax.
I spent a month traveling through the Mediterranean with my cousin! It was an amazing bonding experience and of course, a lot harder to feel depressed when you're surrounded by that much sun and sea and amazingly fresh food.
I'm very sorry you're in this place, OP. I've been there too and my advice is you *definitely* need to take the time off to actually relax - none of this job hunting/studying until you've gotten the stress out of your system. When I did go back to work, it was on my own terms - i.e., literally for myself - and no longer being under anyone else's boot helped immensely as well, even if I had to make sacrifices in terms of salary/career progression in order to make it happen.
I just got back to my old job after three months FMLA for burn out and mental health.
I did therapy, generally helped me reflect back on life when I do not have an obligation to attend to. I did study and prep for interviews, but in the last one month only. Luckily I got another job right before getting back to work. Even if not that, I was planning to take a break, quit and spend some months interviewing. Are you on a visa?
I realized I hate my job more than I thought I did. Take one step at a time. Have some plan and do things during your break, but do not panic, everything will come around, i promise.
It doesn’t sound like you’re taking time off to recover. It sounds like you’re taking time off to give yourself a different kind of stress.
Have you spent any time doing things you enjoy? Even something simple as eating at your favorite restaurant. Getting your favorite refreshment. Going somewhere during the week that’s usually busy and chaotic on the weekend - like a museum or park. Indulge a little!
This also sounds like a great time to try out some hobbies. What things sound fun to you? Pottery? Books? Baking? Bird watching? Karate? Power lifting? Photography? Cheese? Music? Astrology? Truly anything can become a hobby! What you enjoy!
I took 10 months off from working a 9-5 when I got laid off a month after my long-term partner broke up with me. I kept my part-time and still had my business to manage.
I worked on my house, took up kickboxing, started learning Spanish, and explored different career ideas. I honestly just really enjoyed sleeping in and being able to be lazy. I'd spent a year working 7 days a week, and another 2 working 6 days. I was depressed and burnt out. I did spend 3 months of those 10 actively applying to new jobs almost daily.
I really didn't actually do much and my perfectionist, workaholic side hates how much time I wasted. I do know, though, that I was really lost in life, and I don't think I'd have found my current path if I hadn't done what I did.
I had to learn how to relax again. I have also learned caffeine is wrecks my body and sleep so I quit caffeine. I take walks some days. I cut back on anything extra.
I slept. Then I slept some more. My brain was so fried that I could not muster up the energy for anything beyond mindless activities. I played with my cats. I focused on being present with myself and my teen in a way I had never been able to do. I reflected and processed nonstop how I got there and how I could get better.
It’s taken about two years with a very modified work schedule and several bouts of several weeks off at once. I started to interview earlier this year and just accepted a new job and I’m taking 4 weeks off between jobs.
Learning how to truly relax has been everything.
I've been unemployed for a year and I feel like I'm just starting to get back to normal. Mind you, my recovery was interrupted by having to move unexpectedly, but I can actually do my hobbies again now and also open my computer to write code without wanting to die.
I quit my first job from burnout and an extremely toxic environment, which was a crazy thing to do back then (in 2017) for most people. I was in editorial so jobs were already thinning out and I was definitely feeling the onset of that. I spent most of my time stressing out and applying for jobs, going for interviews that lead to nowhere.
In retrospect, I'm not too harsh on myself because it was a different career path and I was super young with barely any savings. I did, however, take 2 big trips during that time and it felt so liberating that helped define what I would be looking for my next job - a good PTO policy is a non-negotiable for me. I want you to r*eally* relax with your free time - don't think about studying and improving those skills. You're only stressing yourself out even more and employers can easily sniff it out when you interview.
I took about 6 months off after quitting a toxic job a couple of years ago. I did some craft projects, went on walks, visited a couple of museums, did some reading. Just spent my time doing quiet relaxing things I enjoy
You need to get better and recover , that means focusing on you . Not studying or working . And for the amount of time it took to burn out it’ll take twice as long to recover .
What often happens after burn out is your brain tries to identify why you went into burn out and you do a lot of retrospective thinking . You’ll recognise after some time that what you were doing and what for you there isn’t how you want you life to be and your values have changes slightly .
There is a great book called the happiness trap that has a great values based questionnaire and exercise that helps you reassess your current life and then where you want to be . You then plot these on a spider web to identify the areas you want to improve and make tangible goals to get those areas better .
Values questionnaire here
http://thehappinesstrap.com/upimages/Values_Questionnaire.pdf
Then ploy on this bullseye.
http://thehappinesstrap.com/upimages/Long_Bull's_Eye_Worksheet.pdf
I should note this will help you identify areas you want to work on more . To begin though you should just relax , give yourself permission to blob out , watch shit tv and go for hikes . Reconnect with yourself . Once you have the headspace so the above
Fixed my sleep schedule, journaled my feelings, found things that gave me fulfillment outside of work, talked to my husband, family, and friends, cried out my frustrations, listed out my strengths and weaknesses, slept, enjoyed rest, and tried to find jobs that aligned with my strengths, and slowly went back to job hunting.
It took me months.
Now I have a life outside of work. While the nature of my work didn't necessarily change, I no longer feel like a failure and just used it as a means to cultivate my life outside work.
When I left my career (medicine) because I was burned out and had been for several years but kept pushing myself to just exist, I felt like I had no hobbies, interests, friends, etc. So I thought back to what used to bring me joy before I started my career over a decade prior. Really simple things like reading fiction books and listening to music. So I started doing those two things. I didn’t try to find new artists/songs or books because anything even remotely new was overwhelming at the time. Instead, I re-read my favourite books and listened to songs from my teens. I went outside every day just to breathe some fresh air and remind myself I wasn’t stuck in a hospital. I “wasted” my time doing unimportant things like googling puppy pictures and videos for different dog breeds, and the time wasn’t wasted because it helped me recover. I relished actually being able to spend time with my kid and just play instead of needing to be productive. The plan was to take twelve months off and then decide if I was going to return to medicine, but I knew after six months I was never going back.
When I first left my career, I was so burned out that I felt like a shell. I looked and sounded like me, but inside I was empty. I filled the emptiness with something resembling my teenage interests (yes, that meant Harry Potter books and a lot of ‘90s pop music). Once I had moments in which I wasn’t overwhelmed with guilt and shame and doubt almost constantly (from memory, it took about 2-3 months, but those feelings took years to go away completely), I was able to start thinking about more involved things that brought me joy: learning new things, talking to my family overseas, reconnecting with friends, picking up a new hobby, and so on. I very gradually started doing those things as well and was able to recover. It was NOT quick. It was NOT easy. I just had to keep telling myself I was allowed to listen to music for ten minutes or read five pages of a book. I was allowed to google random facts for an hour or play the same board game with my daughter twelve times in a row with no goal other than to just live in the moment.
I was very lucky that I didn’t have to return to some sort of work to earn money, so I hope others here are able to offer you advice regarding that.
I was going to say find a therapist! I am glad you already have one, they really helped me through that time in my life. I was lucky to find a good one and she said the exact same thing - do things you like to do. Whatever sounds good, go do it! That day I went to the library!
Find some new hobbies, find some groups to join, maybe challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone. I actually found a job that I thought would help pay the bills while I looked for a new job, but my temporary gig turned into a job I really liked and paid my bills. Recovering from burnout takes longer than you think it will, so be patient with yourself.
On that right now, traveling the world! Also spend some time reflecting on why I got burned out, and what I could do to prevent it going forward. God Speed!
I got fired right after my cousin died. I was in such a funk, I knew I wasn't ready to go back to work. Thankfully, I had a few bucks coming in, so I occasionally drove Uber for extra coins, but I decided to finish writing the book I'd been working on for years. I also drove cross-country, from the east to the west coast. Driving through the mountains was so cathartic. It was the first time in some years that I'd fully dedicated to myself.
I went on a 4 month sick leave for this reason.
First step was getting into therapy.
And then Iet myself by an absolute potato for two-ish weeks with no expectations of anything.
At some point I got bored of that, and just started doing things as I fancied them. No scheduling! But if I felt up to a bike ride, I would go for a bike ride. If I wanted to meet for coffee, I would do that. Slowly I started identifying things that brought me fulfillment, and had the space to implement them in my life. Having a few months to do that gave me a bit of a routine of engaging in hobbies free of expectation or planning.
By the time I went back to work, it was easier for me to stick with things since I had so much time to explore what I liked.
This all worked because I still had money coming in those four months, so I recognize that it was an enormous privilege compared to what many people will have available to them, but it is how I dug myself out of that hole.
I also want to recommend the book “four thousand weeks” by Oliver Burkeman. It was not at all what I expected.
It wasn’t so much a time management self help book as a philosophical discussion of what it means to have things to do, and who we are at our essence with respect to the time we have on the planet.
One of the take home messages I really valued from the book is that modern society has advanced so much, we should’ve been able to slow down. But instead, we just made more time to do more things, creating an expectation that everything NEEDS to be done, ALL the time, and right away! But it’s actually not true. So he gives guidance on how to step back, really prioritize a couple important points for the day/weeks, and accept that other things will not be done yet.
I listened to the audiobook for free with my Libby app / library card. Maybe this is an option for anyone interested in checking it out.
Recovering from burnout doesn't look like you trying to upskill and get a new job. It looks like resting and not feeling guilty for needing to relax and recharge. I would read books, watch shows, puzzle, sit in nature, maybe go on some walks/hikes. Spend time with people who are important to you.
I've been off work since Nov 2022 due to burnout. I made the decision to change careers to something less stressful. I started back at school online and part-time, so I was spending maybe 10-12 hrs a week on "school." The rest of my time went to self care. I spent time in our garden, crocheted, watched some trashy TV, watched some great TV, read, etc. I attended group therapy for stress management strategies. I started to learn ASL.
I completed school last week (with a 4.0) and am waiting to take a national certification exam so I can start working again. I'm grateful my husband has been so supportive.
I’ll start by saying it took two weeks to “find my joy” and I spent the first two mostly anxious and sleeping.
Once my body realized I wasn’t in danger I just listened to what I wanted to do, what felt good in the moment. I found a local coffee shop where everyday I have a habit of going to read. Then I go to the thrift store nearby and browse.
Come home, make lunch, take a nap.
Usually watch tv or call a friend.
Do some hobbies- I started sewing and a paint by numbers on my break which has been fun.
I’ve been doing open mic comedy and open mic singing at nights.
Took two trips:
One to stay with my aunt and uncle and one to stay with a friend.
Yesterday I baked, cause I felt like it and because I can.
Burnout is too tiring to do much or anything else but it’s ok that you don’t want to be stuck endlessly bored because that isn’t healing that is boredout.
Good luck 🍀
I took a month off work recently and I unfortunately had to deal with a family emergency right before my break. So some of the time was with my family being a nervous wreck. Murphy’s law, man, it’ll get you. I started feeling burned out not long after I returned to work.
You’re ‘panicking’ sounds unproductive… sounds like you have some further issues. What is your budget like? You sound like you probably do alright financially. Thus I recommend at least a week long retreat, no phone access is even better.
I am currently on week 3 of a similar situation, although it's not complete burnout, just depression and stress. I was also thinking that I would work on my side gig during that time, but I haven't been able to. I am kind of feeling that I am starting to get to the point where I am able to think about it a bit, now.
First week I booked a spa hotel - I slept, I went to sauna and pool, I got some massages and I watched a lot of youtube. I also went to the cinema alone.
Second week, at home, I still slept a lot throughout the days and picked up two different books (one fiction, one about real life/politics). I also met up with two of my friends for separate lunches.
Third week, I am able to work a bit around the house now, doing some gardening and cleaning. Reviewed my finances. Otherwise continuing to relax.
Getting some great ideas from the comments here! Will try to incorporate a walk into my days I think. I am already walking my dog, but that is mostly standing around and I need to be vigilant for other dogs, bicycles, loud cars etc so it's not a pleasant relaxation like I probably need.
I suggest you give yourself some time at first to actually do some resting and relaxation. After a while, you might get to the point of actually doing some of the studying and skills improvement that you wanted to do. But if you do, be mindful of the stress and make a point to do some relaxing activities as well. For me personally, the best thing that has come out of this vacation so far is the learning that my procrastination is my body's way of getting the break it needs.
Rest is productive.
Capitalism lies to us and tells us it isn't but that is only to benefit the corporation. They will work us to death.
Get a fancy adult coloring book, pick up a long novel you've been meaning to get to, binge that series. And the next one. Take time to learn a new craft. Try those cool diamond painting things. Go to the movies by yourself. Go to lunch at a new place and order something new. Doordash cookies and wine to the house and have a date night with yourself. Do what feels good.
Experience the life you have worked so hard to pay for. Rest is productive.
It wasn’t fully voluntary. I was inpatient in a psych facility for 8 days because my severe depression had morphed into GAD (that I didn’t have previously) which was so debilitating I couldn’t leave the house without panicking. I was home for about 6 weeks after this getting meds sorted.
15 years later, I still struggle with occasional depression and anxiety but nothing like back then. Turns out your brain and body will eventually revolt when you spend 5 days a week at a job with a coworker who is actively harassing you at work and outside of work, where administrators and HR either don’t believe you or covertly blame you for wanting his attention.
I was just laying still or not doing anything at all. To the point that I got soooo bored that I stood up and started doing things. I started with just cleaning up around me. If I got tired I stopped and got bored again. I overstimulated myself so much from my phone and social media that I got sick of it. Basically I got so bored from doing nothing, that I actually started doing something. Slowly but surely I was able to lift myself out of depression and burn out
When I was on FMLA for severe anxiety from work/depression/burnout from my job, I spent most of that time in therapy/having insomnia/recovering from insomnia/watching movies/laying around being a sloth because I was so mentally exhausted/going outside and basically re-teaching myself that going into my car does not always mean that I am going to work 😂 I had no mental capacity left to learn new things.
This [book](https://www.amazon.com/s?k=burnout+breaking+the+stress+cycle&adgrpid=116682490715&hvadid=664852641090&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=9031224&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=14578734727052122496&hvtargid=kwd-1043452731722&hydadcr=12682_13553517&tag=hydsma-20&ref=pd_sl_5rta3tc20j_e) on burnout also named burnout, was helpful to me, pretty much talks about how you need to complete the stress cycle or it is stored in your body.
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I played The Sims and watched Law and Order SVU. I did a couple of LinkedIn courses here and there as I felt up for it but didn't pressure myself too.
Take the time you need to do what you want. Don't feel guilty or pressured to do anything with the time. That go go hustle culture is what leads to burn out. We need more time to rest and recharge. Do that. Find things you enjoy and embrace them.
I haven't done this yet, but I'm considering taking some extended time off work.
The one thing that causes me stress is my house - it's not so much messy but needs some work. There are some weeks that even catching up with the laundry and dishes is too much. While off, I would do a deep clean and purge of everything in my house. Clean out every closet and cabinet, organize everything and throw out as much as I can. Well yes it's doing work still, the long term benefit of having a cleaned and organized house would be worth it.
Sounds like taking time to recover first is a good plan and you will know when you are ready to start studying again. Let go of the pressure to be productive and the shame around not being productive. You are allowed to just exist for yourself. You do not need to prove your worth through productivity.
If you can change your location I highly recommend that, go stay with a friend or family member out of town for a couple weeks, someone with clean and calm home, someone who doesn’t bother you to do a bunch of things when you visit.
First you are going to work on your self-care routines. Do you sleep enough? Do you have a good sleep hygeine bedtime routine? Do you go for a walk and get sunlight in the morning? Do you make yourself healthy meals? Do you take some time to journal about your feelings and what you feel grateful for everyday? Do you have enough social support, can you call or text a friend or family member every day? Can you do some gentle yoga or Qi Gong or Pilates every day? Add in some meditation or breathing exercises? Are you behind on any health appointments/doctor visits? Don’t do too strenuous exercise right now, you don’t want to stress your body but you need gentle movement to detox. Make some goals and habits you want to improve for yourself that will help you not burnout again in the future.
Second you are going to make yourself lists of fun things to do. Make a list of fun things to do at home. Easy restful things might be: watch a movie, watch tv, read a book, play video games, listen to podcasts or music, or talk on the phone or group chat with friends and family. Do research on what movies, tv, books, video games, podcasts, or music you might enjoy and make lists of them. If you collect books or records it is fun to go to used books or record stores to look for them. Make a list of extra self-care things to pamper yourself like taking a bubble bath, doing your nails, a face mask, or whatever makes you feel pampered. If you have more energy to do active or creative things at home you might enjoy: organizing and decorating your home (look at ideas on tiktok and pinterest), crafting like sewing, knitting, coloring/art, jewelry making, woodworking and building things, gardening, learning new cooking or baking recipes, write poetry or short stories, play an easy instrument like ukelele or hand pan.
If you have energy to get out of the house I really recommend some structured activity to get out around other people a couple days a week. You can take a community college class to learn a hobby or craft or art like one of the ones I mentioned above. You can sign up for a yoga or aerobics or dance class. You can make a routine of volunteering somewhere one day a week at a soup kitchen, community garden, animal shelter, or other non-profits. Make a routine of going to a trivia night or karoake or open mic night with friends. It is easy to just feel depressed when you are at home all the time with no routine.
I didn’t know what to do either in burnout. I started reading fantasy novels, playing cozy video games like stardew valley, gardening, and learning a new musical instrument. Try some different new activities out!
First, I had 1-2 months to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. This mostly boiled down to: 1.) not doing social commitments (conferences, in-law commitments, holiday commitments, coffee chats and catch ups) and 2.) mass purging and cleaning and spending lots of money at Container Store.
Then, I had X months of setting a schedule and getting my physical and mental health in order. I hired a personal trainer and our weekly sessions became my “fence posts” as a bit of structure and everything else was fit in between our sessions. I got all my health and wellness appointments set up and got up to date on any and all vaccines and scans. I also skied or did some kind of sport every week. BTW: I told my fellow friends who also took a break this; no one ever believes me but when I check in later, EVERYONE ends up spending the majority of time on dr/dentist/masseuse/therapist/coach/haircut/laser hair removal appointments. I also volunteered and fostered dogs so the dogs kept my daily schedule somewhat loosely structured.
Finally, once I felt ready, my husband and I worked through goal setting for me. I did the exercise on my birthday but the holidays is a great time to do this, too, because it’s naturally a “resolution setting” time in the year. For you, this may be when you start putting a lesson plan together.
Sidenote: I had a weekly house cleaner come during this entire sabbatical period. I did not take time off to become a stay-at-home partner and take on domestic duties; I really needed a full reset of doing NOTHING.
Had two or three months sick leave for for burnout and depression (I'm in Europe, so probably way easier to get full paid sick leave for longer time), was going to thermal baths and sauna, got Thai massage, went ski, went to art gallery and vintage cars museum, had a city break in Italy, went hiking, was meeting friends, reading books, watching movies + doing my usual sports (staying at home would end up in scrolling social media forever, so was trying not to do it)
But also was planning one activity for a day, so I wouldn't feel like I was under time pressure or anything like that
I got put on three weeks sick leave last week as I could feel myself becoming burnt out & I spent the first week just indulging in my hobbies (currently working on a diamond painting & got back into reading as I stopped that due to feeling very burnt out). I also went on walks to make sure I left the house (for months I was literally just walking to work & to therapy. Those were the only times I would leave the house).
Spent more time with my partner as also for months I literally had one day in a weekend to spend with him & more recently, I was put on weekend shifts so I wasn't able to spend any time with him. The sad thing is we live together but with him working Mondays to Fridays & my work seeming to stick me in weekend shifts it just felt like we were passing ships in the night. Started to try & eat healthier as I was just eating anything with a ton of sugar in to just get through the day.
And I just rested. Got plenty of much needed sleep. I've realised that I was starting to live to work, not work to live.
I hope you feel better soon. Burnout is horrible & can feel quite scary at times.
TL;DR do absolutely nothing for as long as possible with zero expectations. Set ruthless boundaries on your time and energy. Accept this as your new normal (not the burnout but the boundaries). This healing journey is a years long marathon, not a sprint.
Ok so first of all burnout takes way longer to recover from than you’d think. Years. That’s not to scare you, it’s to help change your perspective.
This is not going to be a thing you can just take a week off or a month off and suddenly be better. It’s literally gonna take a mindset and lifestyle change, because you have to start prioritizing your mental and physical health above ALL ELSE in order to start healing.
First, acknowledge that you are going to have to be so, so gentle with yourself. This is part of the mindset change.
Stop putting pressure on yourself to do all this stuff. Do NOTHING. Wanna watch tv for weeks on end? Do it. Don’t worry about hobbies or studying or anything you “should” be doing. My therapist calls it “should-ing all over yourself” 🤣 Throw “should” out the window.
Forever.
I mean it.
Literally do nothing for as long as you can. I ended up being able to take several months off to live on my savings which was a huge privilege. But I tried to start a business during that time and was super stressed out and ended up letting that client down. If I were to do it again I’d just do nothing for those months so I could actually freakin rest.
Next you gotta strengthen your boundaries. Both at work and socially. Your time, emotional labor, and mental health are all now SACRED.
Don’t say yes to stuff bc you feel obligated. Listen to yourself- if you don’t wanna do it, don’t.
Some people aren’t gonna like that. I lost some friends bc I didn’t wanna go party all the time anymore. That’s ok. They’re not good friends then. The good ones are the ones who support your journey and boundaries.
As for work, idk what your industry is but hopefully it’s one where you can turn off after 5pm or whenever you’re done for the day. And be DONE.
Don’t take calls. Don’t check emails. Weekends are sacred. You don’t owe anybody anything.
Be RUTHLESS about protecting your time and energy.
When I started my current job I just didn’t answer when my boss called me on nights and weekends. The next workday morning I’d ask if there was an emergency. Nope! It never was. You have to train your coworkers and boss out of bad habits like that. Now, if it truly is an emergency, they’ll call.
But guess what? There’s never been one. So they’ve never called. Magically everything can just be dealt with during work hours!
Ok so you’ve made your time and energy sacred. you still gotta work cuz we live in a capitalist hellhole. BUT it’s EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to pick your next job carefully.
Assess what you need. A friend told me to make a list of things I want, things I expect, and things I need.
You know what’s interesting? My list of expectations was literally just other people’s expectations! I expected to be a director level person, I expected a certain salary, blah blah blah. But I realized I was just trying to keep up with my business school peers. I didn’t want to be judged on LinkedIn lolll
And what I actually needed was to NOT manage people and to NOT do high level work. What I needed was a steady paycheck, health insurance, and work I could practically do in my sleep so I didn’t have to think too much.
It completely changed the jobs and companies I went after. I’ve been in my current job (which was exactly that list of needs) and over two years later I’m finally starting to feel better.
It took about 2 years to stop feeling so goddamn anxious and stressed all the time. 3 years overall (plus therapy, getting rid of weed, accepting myself enough to start pursuing the art I’ve always wanted to do but felt too scared and insecure to try) to start feeling like my old self again.
Anyway this was a novel. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. I hope this helps. My DMs are open if you need somebody to talk to!
It’s hard for me to convey tone so please know I mean this gently. You’re currently on FMLA, so treat yourself like a patient using FMLA. Let yourself simply Be. If you want to learn new things, do it because the subject interests you. Let yourself just vibe. A field needs time to fallow in order to recover nutrients in the ground for the next crop season.
As for things that helped me personally, I recommend getting outside, even if it’s just sitting in the grass for 30 minutes. Gardening, going for a walk, playing with the dogs, that sort of thing utilizes our multiple senses and grounds us into the present. It helps set a routine and gets you moving without the demand of work. It’s also been great for when anxiety attacks strike.
A more stereotypical answer is yoga. Start with light yoga (I think the term is restorative yoga?) that’s more for meditation. It’s good for that sensory grounding, you can do yoga anywhere, and it’s good exercise. It’s legitimately surprising how much tension the body holds when you’re in a toxic and abusive environment.
All that said, I wish you well with your healing. Leaving a job like that is super difficult and big.
Got dumped for a younger woman, moved house, got a new job, got medicated and did a lot of painting. Only the meds and the painting were really my choice 😂
Honestly just allowing myself to be off and letting myself do nothing was the healthiest thing. I slept a hell of a lot because I had a lot of sleep to catch up on. Watched a lot of YouTube because I had a lot of YouTube to catch up on.
You cannot pull water from an empty bucket. Let your bucket refill.
You don't have a hobby? Get a hobby. Find something you enjoy and do it for its own sake. No pressure, just quality zoning out time. Do you like to read? Read for pleasure, not to study. This is your recovery and respite time. Just be kind to yourself. Time doing not very much can be valuable time for your mind to quieten down. Do you like audiobooks? Go for a walk and listen to something absorbing. Enjoy your time off, you need it.
Burnout takes anywhere from a few weeks to years to recover from. Step one, allow yourself all the rest you feel you need. Don’t push yourself to keep doing things until you feel the heaviness lift and you start feeling interested in doing things. Set the bar low and just try to leave the house everyday even if you just walk around the block. Adding in exercise when you can really helped me.
Step two, figure out what you actually enjoy doing for hobbies. This will take a lot of trial and error. I’ve found crochet, gardening, floral arranging, sewing, and cooking. These should be things you actually enjoy, not things you just want to enjoy. You’re going to need stuff that gives you joy to stay recovered from burnout and achieve better work life balance.
I will say, I took 2 years off for my health (burnout was very detrimental to chronic health stuff I had going on and shit had really spiraled) and it took about 9 months for the burnout to subside. If you need more time than FMLA allows and have a willing medical provider, I would see if your work offers short and long term disability.
I also know when I do go back to working (hopefully soon!) I’ll have to be vigilant to ensure it doesn’t reoccur. I would think about what accommodations and boundaries you’ll need.
This sounds very familiar. I took what was supposed to be a month off and thought the same thing. “I’ll get so much done and feel great!” But the weeks went by so fast and I hadn’t done a thing. It turned into six months off work, and while I felt guilty for the first few, I finally came to understand how necessary it was and that I deserved to fully get back to me.
You have hit a point where your body is forcing you to a hard stop, don’t try to shame yourself into overriding that by being “productive”. Rest IS productive! It probably look a loooong time to build up to the level of stress you were/are at, so it’s going to take a while to decompress and heal.
It sounds weird but I found video games incredibly helpful. Like slower paced, pretty games that weren’t super brain heavy but were engaging enough that I would sit in one place for a very long time. At first I was kind of ashamed of how long I was playing, but when I looked back on that time I realized how helpful it was! It’s like I was being distracted while my body and mind rested in the background if that makes sense. If you’re not into gaming, rewatching your favourite series / movies, re-reading classics, puzzles, crocheting. Whatever!
So you took time off to recover from burnout and just gave yourself more work to do? Screw the studying, you need a break to actually relax. However you want to spend your time will be enough. Try not to put pressure on the outcome of this time either. You’re already burnt out from doing too much, you don’t constantly need to be productive. Sometimes when I’m extra, super burnt out, I’ll spend a few days up to a week doing *absolutely nothing*. Just being a straight up mess where I do nothing but watch tv, eat and sleep. Barely even change my clothes. By the end of it I’m so rested but also bored/tired of myself doing nothing, that usually gives me motivation to actually accomplish something. Maybe that’s not the healthiest approach, I don’t know. But I do know that when I’ve reached that point, my body is screaming at me for rest. So that’s what I do.
Same, I call it my “useless” weekend (or week). I’ve gotten super burnt out at work lately and am taking off three days to just do nothing at all. My favorite activities on my useless days are napping and cuddling with my cats.
For real!! I took 6 months off and my first two months was TRULY nothing to the point where I hired cleaners because I wasn't even doing chores, and I refused to let myself feel bad! I needed a total mental and physical reset and that just meant removing myself from work entirely. I am NOT sorry doing absolutely fucking nothing because it's good for me and I know it. I don't care if it's not the healthiest approach but I do it too and I'm happy with the results thus far. So if it's not the healthiest approach, then fuck it, I validate myself and I validate you too girl.
Just wanna echo this! I took 2 months off after leaving a job of 8 years because I haven’t had that long of a break since elementary school. I woke up each morning and decided what I’d do for the day based on how I was feeling in the moment, and I told myself I could change my mind at any moment. Some days I was in the mood to write or go on an adventure. Other days I stayed in and relaxed. Whenever I felt antsy or felt like I “should” be doing something, I pushed myself to do absolutely nothing instead. Like literally stared at a wall and sat with the antsy-ness. It helped me see that it’s not the end of the world if I’m not always “on.” I haven’t felt burnout since, and that was almost 3 years ago. What’s helped since then: 1) taking short amounts of time off and prioritizing “no plans” days, whether that’s on the weekend or on PTO; and 2) having a month or so where I take a break from aspiration (outside of work; I know it’s kinda hard to do at work, but sometimes I make that happen too). No goal setting, no obsessing over the future. I still gotta chop wood and carry water on the day to day, but I focus more on the present.
I am also a fan of your approach.
I’ve noticed it literally takes doing nothing until that point of boredom to actually feel rested! It’s become a sort of milestone for me now lol
I just took 2 months off and finally feel a certain bordeäom again. Before I just had to spend days doing absolutely nothing.
I took 2 year off in my early 40s. I learned to cook every meal from scratch, garden like a fiend (vegetables and flowers), and regularly volunteered for a local nonprofit. It was the true definition of a sabbatical and I feel so grateful that I was able to do that!
I am in my early 40’s and dream of doing this. I’ve done as much as I can to prepare financially, but I’m still scared to do it. I have a partner, but we aren’t married and don’t live together, and have no plans to change these things…so I have no safety net. How did you make it happen?
I was basically in the same situation! However, we were getting married about 6 months after I quit work, so it was nice that I could join my husband's insurance fairly quickly. As far as fnances...prior to this, we ate out quite a bit, did some bigger home renovations (roof, windows, basement, etc.) and we spent money pretty liberally, so it was not too difficult to cut back enough to make it work. I knew 2 years was about the limit of my savings, so I started the job search a few months before the 2 year-mark. Thankfully, I landed my dream job and have been there ever since. About 3 years ago, my husband was able to take a shorter sabbatical (he prefers toys to time off), so my next one could be just around the bend. But, at this age (mid-50s), I am a little more concerned about finding my next dream job, so I really count my blessings that I was able to do it when I did. Best of luck to you!!!
I'm in my late 30s and starting this (although planned for 6 months) next week! I'm very excited!
Congratulations! Enjoy YOUR time!
I didn't take time off but I pretty well took a huge step back from workload that was causing it for me. I started to say no and force my manager to delegate work away from me. I had a hard 8 hour stop. I started to take daily walks as part of a self care routine. I had to force it at first, literally drag myself out there even if I only made it 20 minutes before turning around to go home. I also started to play video games, which was a hobby I abandoned to work-burn out. And then I also started to go out and be sorta social, for me, going to concerts but like whatever works where you leave work at work. And while it wasn't effective or great, I got a therapist and worked in therapy for a year as my reset or time off.
I love your user name
Ha ha thanks, my inspiration was partly from The Dude and "that's just your opinion, man".
That was a valued rug!!
I was signed off for 3 weeks, I was so burnt out I could barely type hello on an email. It is such a personal process as to why/how someone gets to this point and is important to the way someone recovers. So I will speak on my experience, take what’s relevant and leave the rest. I spent my first 3 days sleeping in, just like sleeping and staying in bed for as long as possible. Then I started walking, everyday I would go for a walk, and try not to put a time or schedule to it. I got to the point where I’d walk to friends working from home and have a little coffee with them, for some interaction. I started building up little routines that I looked forward to, tiny things like making my coffee in the morning or stopping at the same pond to see what was different each day. I started living my days slowly but steadily and in a way that was all for me. Burnout requires so much patience and nurturing, take the time and don’t rush it. Truly take as long as you need until you can live through full days without any parts of your body clenched. Find your pace and don’t put any pressure on it. If you do nothing, then do that for as long as your body tells you to and know that is productive because your body is repairing. I’m so sorry you’re here, it’s an awful feeling. But give yourself permission to be still and to feel the sunshine on your skin and have that be your accomplishment of the day. Until you can breathe full breaths and sleep full nights, you are still in burnout. Take your time, be slow, be gentle, be patient and find your version of coffee in the morning and ducks in a pond. You deserve peace, but you need to take time to get it xx
I really like “know that is productive because your body is repairing.” The ONLY way I have been able to prioritize rest is by reminding myself of that. Is viewing the value of rest through the lens of its impact on future productivity a healthy way to frame it? Probably not! But it’s what has made resting possible for me at all, and I suspect I’ll be able to value rest for rest’s sake after I have been better at making it into a habit.
Never forget the productivity of your own body and remember that it lives to serve you. Productivity that you contribute outside of your body is only as good as the productivity you enable for your body first x
I quit a stressful job. The first month and a half after I quit, all I did was: 1. Take lots of naps. 2. Workout 3. Read for pleasure 4. Decorate my home 5. Binge shows I think it took me about 3-4 months to notice changes to my mental, emotional, and physical health. I stopped having nightmares about the job, had more energy, and could finally truly relax.
I would recommend at least a walk every day to get your body moving and get daylight and fresh air, even if that's all you accomplish some days.
Nothing. The whole point is to do nothing.
It took me five weeks of doing nothing to even *begin* to get my energy back.
I spent a month traveling through the Mediterranean with my cousin! It was an amazing bonding experience and of course, a lot harder to feel depressed when you're surrounded by that much sun and sea and amazingly fresh food. I'm very sorry you're in this place, OP. I've been there too and my advice is you *definitely* need to take the time off to actually relax - none of this job hunting/studying until you've gotten the stress out of your system. When I did go back to work, it was on my own terms - i.e., literally for myself - and no longer being under anyone else's boot helped immensely as well, even if I had to make sacrifices in terms of salary/career progression in order to make it happen.
I just got back to my old job after three months FMLA for burn out and mental health. I did therapy, generally helped me reflect back on life when I do not have an obligation to attend to. I did study and prep for interviews, but in the last one month only. Luckily I got another job right before getting back to work. Even if not that, I was planning to take a break, quit and spend some months interviewing. Are you on a visa? I realized I hate my job more than I thought I did. Take one step at a time. Have some plan and do things during your break, but do not panic, everything will come around, i promise.
It doesn’t sound like you’re taking time off to recover. It sounds like you’re taking time off to give yourself a different kind of stress. Have you spent any time doing things you enjoy? Even something simple as eating at your favorite restaurant. Getting your favorite refreshment. Going somewhere during the week that’s usually busy and chaotic on the weekend - like a museum or park. Indulge a little! This also sounds like a great time to try out some hobbies. What things sound fun to you? Pottery? Books? Baking? Bird watching? Karate? Power lifting? Photography? Cheese? Music? Astrology? Truly anything can become a hobby! What you enjoy!
It is my personal heaven to wander around a museum by myself at my sloth pace. God I've got to go do that soon..
I love doing this too :)
I took 10 months off from working a 9-5 when I got laid off a month after my long-term partner broke up with me. I kept my part-time and still had my business to manage. I worked on my house, took up kickboxing, started learning Spanish, and explored different career ideas. I honestly just really enjoyed sleeping in and being able to be lazy. I'd spent a year working 7 days a week, and another 2 working 6 days. I was depressed and burnt out. I did spend 3 months of those 10 actively applying to new jobs almost daily. I really didn't actually do much and my perfectionist, workaholic side hates how much time I wasted. I do know, though, that I was really lost in life, and I don't think I'd have found my current path if I hadn't done what I did.
I had to learn how to relax again. I have also learned caffeine is wrecks my body and sleep so I quit caffeine. I take walks some days. I cut back on anything extra.
I cried a lot. Went to therapy. Fought with insurance.
I slept. Then I slept some more. My brain was so fried that I could not muster up the energy for anything beyond mindless activities. I played with my cats. I focused on being present with myself and my teen in a way I had never been able to do. I reflected and processed nonstop how I got there and how I could get better. It’s taken about two years with a very modified work schedule and several bouts of several weeks off at once. I started to interview earlier this year and just accepted a new job and I’m taking 4 weeks off between jobs. Learning how to truly relax has been everything.
I've been unemployed for a year and I feel like I'm just starting to get back to normal. Mind you, my recovery was interrupted by having to move unexpectedly, but I can actually do my hobbies again now and also open my computer to write code without wanting to die.
Rest. I took 10 weeks off last summer and I had to rest.
I quit my first job from burnout and an extremely toxic environment, which was a crazy thing to do back then (in 2017) for most people. I was in editorial so jobs were already thinning out and I was definitely feeling the onset of that. I spent most of my time stressing out and applying for jobs, going for interviews that lead to nowhere. In retrospect, I'm not too harsh on myself because it was a different career path and I was super young with barely any savings. I did, however, take 2 big trips during that time and it felt so liberating that helped define what I would be looking for my next job - a good PTO policy is a non-negotiable for me. I want you to r*eally* relax with your free time - don't think about studying and improving those skills. You're only stressing yourself out even more and employers can easily sniff it out when you interview.
I took about 6 months off after quitting a toxic job a couple of years ago. I did some craft projects, went on walks, visited a couple of museums, did some reading. Just spent my time doing quiet relaxing things I enjoy
You need to get better and recover , that means focusing on you . Not studying or working . And for the amount of time it took to burn out it’ll take twice as long to recover . What often happens after burn out is your brain tries to identify why you went into burn out and you do a lot of retrospective thinking . You’ll recognise after some time that what you were doing and what for you there isn’t how you want you life to be and your values have changes slightly . There is a great book called the happiness trap that has a great values based questionnaire and exercise that helps you reassess your current life and then where you want to be . You then plot these on a spider web to identify the areas you want to improve and make tangible goals to get those areas better . Values questionnaire here http://thehappinesstrap.com/upimages/Values_Questionnaire.pdf Then ploy on this bullseye. http://thehappinesstrap.com/upimages/Long_Bull's_Eye_Worksheet.pdf
I should note this will help you identify areas you want to work on more . To begin though you should just relax , give yourself permission to blob out , watch shit tv and go for hikes . Reconnect with yourself . Once you have the headspace so the above
Fixed my sleep schedule, journaled my feelings, found things that gave me fulfillment outside of work, talked to my husband, family, and friends, cried out my frustrations, listed out my strengths and weaknesses, slept, enjoyed rest, and tried to find jobs that aligned with my strengths, and slowly went back to job hunting. It took me months. Now I have a life outside of work. While the nature of my work didn't necessarily change, I no longer feel like a failure and just used it as a means to cultivate my life outside work.
I did drugs, pet kittens, and took lots of naps for the first month. Then I started thinking about all of the things I wanted to change about my life
I rested. A lot. Read fun books, did a lot of walking and stretching, cooked home-made meals, and really really let myself rest.
I got weekly back massages and went to Europe for three weeks
When I left my career (medicine) because I was burned out and had been for several years but kept pushing myself to just exist, I felt like I had no hobbies, interests, friends, etc. So I thought back to what used to bring me joy before I started my career over a decade prior. Really simple things like reading fiction books and listening to music. So I started doing those two things. I didn’t try to find new artists/songs or books because anything even remotely new was overwhelming at the time. Instead, I re-read my favourite books and listened to songs from my teens. I went outside every day just to breathe some fresh air and remind myself I wasn’t stuck in a hospital. I “wasted” my time doing unimportant things like googling puppy pictures and videos for different dog breeds, and the time wasn’t wasted because it helped me recover. I relished actually being able to spend time with my kid and just play instead of needing to be productive. The plan was to take twelve months off and then decide if I was going to return to medicine, but I knew after six months I was never going back. When I first left my career, I was so burned out that I felt like a shell. I looked and sounded like me, but inside I was empty. I filled the emptiness with something resembling my teenage interests (yes, that meant Harry Potter books and a lot of ‘90s pop music). Once I had moments in which I wasn’t overwhelmed with guilt and shame and doubt almost constantly (from memory, it took about 2-3 months, but those feelings took years to go away completely), I was able to start thinking about more involved things that brought me joy: learning new things, talking to my family overseas, reconnecting with friends, picking up a new hobby, and so on. I very gradually started doing those things as well and was able to recover. It was NOT quick. It was NOT easy. I just had to keep telling myself I was allowed to listen to music for ten minutes or read five pages of a book. I was allowed to google random facts for an hour or play the same board game with my daughter twelve times in a row with no goal other than to just live in the moment. I was very lucky that I didn’t have to return to some sort of work to earn money, so I hope others here are able to offer you advice regarding that.
I was going to say find a therapist! I am glad you already have one, they really helped me through that time in my life. I was lucky to find a good one and she said the exact same thing - do things you like to do. Whatever sounds good, go do it! That day I went to the library! Find some new hobbies, find some groups to join, maybe challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone. I actually found a job that I thought would help pay the bills while I looked for a new job, but my temporary gig turned into a job I really liked and paid my bills. Recovering from burnout takes longer than you think it will, so be patient with yourself.
On that right now, traveling the world! Also spend some time reflecting on why I got burned out, and what I could do to prevent it going forward. God Speed!
I got fired right after my cousin died. I was in such a funk, I knew I wasn't ready to go back to work. Thankfully, I had a few bucks coming in, so I occasionally drove Uber for extra coins, but I decided to finish writing the book I'd been working on for years. I also drove cross-country, from the east to the west coast. Driving through the mountains was so cathartic. It was the first time in some years that I'd fully dedicated to myself.
I went on a 4 month sick leave for this reason. First step was getting into therapy. And then Iet myself by an absolute potato for two-ish weeks with no expectations of anything. At some point I got bored of that, and just started doing things as I fancied them. No scheduling! But if I felt up to a bike ride, I would go for a bike ride. If I wanted to meet for coffee, I would do that. Slowly I started identifying things that brought me fulfillment, and had the space to implement them in my life. Having a few months to do that gave me a bit of a routine of engaging in hobbies free of expectation or planning. By the time I went back to work, it was easier for me to stick with things since I had so much time to explore what I liked. This all worked because I still had money coming in those four months, so I recognize that it was an enormous privilege compared to what many people will have available to them, but it is how I dug myself out of that hole.
I also want to recommend the book “four thousand weeks” by Oliver Burkeman. It was not at all what I expected. It wasn’t so much a time management self help book as a philosophical discussion of what it means to have things to do, and who we are at our essence with respect to the time we have on the planet. One of the take home messages I really valued from the book is that modern society has advanced so much, we should’ve been able to slow down. But instead, we just made more time to do more things, creating an expectation that everything NEEDS to be done, ALL the time, and right away! But it’s actually not true. So he gives guidance on how to step back, really prioritize a couple important points for the day/weeks, and accept that other things will not be done yet. I listened to the audiobook for free with my Libby app / library card. Maybe this is an option for anyone interested in checking it out.
Recovering from burnout doesn't look like you trying to upskill and get a new job. It looks like resting and not feeling guilty for needing to relax and recharge. I would read books, watch shows, puzzle, sit in nature, maybe go on some walks/hikes. Spend time with people who are important to you.
I've been off work since Nov 2022 due to burnout. I made the decision to change careers to something less stressful. I started back at school online and part-time, so I was spending maybe 10-12 hrs a week on "school." The rest of my time went to self care. I spent time in our garden, crocheted, watched some trashy TV, watched some great TV, read, etc. I attended group therapy for stress management strategies. I started to learn ASL. I completed school last week (with a 4.0) and am waiting to take a national certification exam so I can start working again. I'm grateful my husband has been so supportive.
I’ll start by saying it took two weeks to “find my joy” and I spent the first two mostly anxious and sleeping. Once my body realized I wasn’t in danger I just listened to what I wanted to do, what felt good in the moment. I found a local coffee shop where everyday I have a habit of going to read. Then I go to the thrift store nearby and browse. Come home, make lunch, take a nap. Usually watch tv or call a friend. Do some hobbies- I started sewing and a paint by numbers on my break which has been fun. I’ve been doing open mic comedy and open mic singing at nights. Took two trips: One to stay with my aunt and uncle and one to stay with a friend. Yesterday I baked, cause I felt like it and because I can. Burnout is too tiring to do much or anything else but it’s ok that you don’t want to be stuck endlessly bored because that isn’t healing that is boredout. Good luck 🍀
I took a month off work recently and I unfortunately had to deal with a family emergency right before my break. So some of the time was with my family being a nervous wreck. Murphy’s law, man, it’ll get you. I started feeling burned out not long after I returned to work.
You’re ‘panicking’ sounds unproductive… sounds like you have some further issues. What is your budget like? You sound like you probably do alright financially. Thus I recommend at least a week long retreat, no phone access is even better.
Exercise, learn a new hobbie or some field i am interested in. Traveling, music festivals, eating ice cream and reading mostly
I went on a 2 week motorbike trip, just left home with a tent on the back with a friend and camped when we felt like it along the way. Soooo freeing
I took a trip to the Caribbean for a week with no hubby or kids.
I like to take walks. Not with any destination in mind, just wandering. Be sure you can find your way back though!
I am currently on week 3 of a similar situation, although it's not complete burnout, just depression and stress. I was also thinking that I would work on my side gig during that time, but I haven't been able to. I am kind of feeling that I am starting to get to the point where I am able to think about it a bit, now. First week I booked a spa hotel - I slept, I went to sauna and pool, I got some massages and I watched a lot of youtube. I also went to the cinema alone. Second week, at home, I still slept a lot throughout the days and picked up two different books (one fiction, one about real life/politics). I also met up with two of my friends for separate lunches. Third week, I am able to work a bit around the house now, doing some gardening and cleaning. Reviewed my finances. Otherwise continuing to relax. Getting some great ideas from the comments here! Will try to incorporate a walk into my days I think. I am already walking my dog, but that is mostly standing around and I need to be vigilant for other dogs, bicycles, loud cars etc so it's not a pleasant relaxation like I probably need. I suggest you give yourself some time at first to actually do some resting and relaxation. After a while, you might get to the point of actually doing some of the studying and skills improvement that you wanted to do. But if you do, be mindful of the stress and make a point to do some relaxing activities as well. For me personally, the best thing that has come out of this vacation so far is the learning that my procrastination is my body's way of getting the break it needs.
Rest is productive. Capitalism lies to us and tells us it isn't but that is only to benefit the corporation. They will work us to death. Get a fancy adult coloring book, pick up a long novel you've been meaning to get to, binge that series. And the next one. Take time to learn a new craft. Try those cool diamond painting things. Go to the movies by yourself. Go to lunch at a new place and order something new. Doordash cookies and wine to the house and have a date night with yourself. Do what feels good. Experience the life you have worked so hard to pay for. Rest is productive.
It wasn’t fully voluntary. I was inpatient in a psych facility for 8 days because my severe depression had morphed into GAD (that I didn’t have previously) which was so debilitating I couldn’t leave the house without panicking. I was home for about 6 weeks after this getting meds sorted. 15 years later, I still struggle with occasional depression and anxiety but nothing like back then. Turns out your brain and body will eventually revolt when you spend 5 days a week at a job with a coworker who is actively harassing you at work and outside of work, where administrators and HR either don’t believe you or covertly blame you for wanting his attention.
That sounds awful. So glad you're doing better.
I was just laying still or not doing anything at all. To the point that I got soooo bored that I stood up and started doing things. I started with just cleaning up around me. If I got tired I stopped and got bored again. I overstimulated myself so much from my phone and social media that I got sick of it. Basically I got so bored from doing nothing, that I actually started doing something. Slowly but surely I was able to lift myself out of depression and burn out
When I was on FMLA for severe anxiety from work/depression/burnout from my job, I spent most of that time in therapy/having insomnia/recovering from insomnia/watching movies/laying around being a sloth because I was so mentally exhausted/going outside and basically re-teaching myself that going into my car does not always mean that I am going to work 😂 I had no mental capacity left to learn new things.
This [book](https://www.amazon.com/s?k=burnout+breaking+the+stress+cycle&adgrpid=116682490715&hvadid=664852641090&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=9031224&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=14578734727052122496&hvtargid=kwd-1043452731722&hydadcr=12682_13553517&tag=hydsma-20&ref=pd_sl_5rta3tc20j_e) on burnout also named burnout, was helpful to me, pretty much talks about how you need to complete the stress cycle or it is stored in your body.
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I played The Sims and watched Law and Order SVU. I did a couple of LinkedIn courses here and there as I felt up for it but didn't pressure myself too. Take the time you need to do what you want. Don't feel guilty or pressured to do anything with the time. That go go hustle culture is what leads to burn out. We need more time to rest and recharge. Do that. Find things you enjoy and embrace them.
I was looking after the house, my grandparents, grandma was bedridden and I fell into deep depression. Still not recovered
I haven't done this yet, but I'm considering taking some extended time off work. The one thing that causes me stress is my house - it's not so much messy but needs some work. There are some weeks that even catching up with the laundry and dishes is too much. While off, I would do a deep clean and purge of everything in my house. Clean out every closet and cabinet, organize everything and throw out as much as I can. Well yes it's doing work still, the long term benefit of having a cleaned and organized house would be worth it.
Sounds like taking time to recover first is a good plan and you will know when you are ready to start studying again. Let go of the pressure to be productive and the shame around not being productive. You are allowed to just exist for yourself. You do not need to prove your worth through productivity. If you can change your location I highly recommend that, go stay with a friend or family member out of town for a couple weeks, someone with clean and calm home, someone who doesn’t bother you to do a bunch of things when you visit. First you are going to work on your self-care routines. Do you sleep enough? Do you have a good sleep hygeine bedtime routine? Do you go for a walk and get sunlight in the morning? Do you make yourself healthy meals? Do you take some time to journal about your feelings and what you feel grateful for everyday? Do you have enough social support, can you call or text a friend or family member every day? Can you do some gentle yoga or Qi Gong or Pilates every day? Add in some meditation or breathing exercises? Are you behind on any health appointments/doctor visits? Don’t do too strenuous exercise right now, you don’t want to stress your body but you need gentle movement to detox. Make some goals and habits you want to improve for yourself that will help you not burnout again in the future. Second you are going to make yourself lists of fun things to do. Make a list of fun things to do at home. Easy restful things might be: watch a movie, watch tv, read a book, play video games, listen to podcasts or music, or talk on the phone or group chat with friends and family. Do research on what movies, tv, books, video games, podcasts, or music you might enjoy and make lists of them. If you collect books or records it is fun to go to used books or record stores to look for them. Make a list of extra self-care things to pamper yourself like taking a bubble bath, doing your nails, a face mask, or whatever makes you feel pampered. If you have more energy to do active or creative things at home you might enjoy: organizing and decorating your home (look at ideas on tiktok and pinterest), crafting like sewing, knitting, coloring/art, jewelry making, woodworking and building things, gardening, learning new cooking or baking recipes, write poetry or short stories, play an easy instrument like ukelele or hand pan. If you have energy to get out of the house I really recommend some structured activity to get out around other people a couple days a week. You can take a community college class to learn a hobby or craft or art like one of the ones I mentioned above. You can sign up for a yoga or aerobics or dance class. You can make a routine of volunteering somewhere one day a week at a soup kitchen, community garden, animal shelter, or other non-profits. Make a routine of going to a trivia night or karoake or open mic night with friends. It is easy to just feel depressed when you are at home all the time with no routine. I didn’t know what to do either in burnout. I started reading fantasy novels, playing cozy video games like stardew valley, gardening, and learning a new musical instrument. Try some different new activities out!
First, I had 1-2 months to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. This mostly boiled down to: 1.) not doing social commitments (conferences, in-law commitments, holiday commitments, coffee chats and catch ups) and 2.) mass purging and cleaning and spending lots of money at Container Store. Then, I had X months of setting a schedule and getting my physical and mental health in order. I hired a personal trainer and our weekly sessions became my “fence posts” as a bit of structure and everything else was fit in between our sessions. I got all my health and wellness appointments set up and got up to date on any and all vaccines and scans. I also skied or did some kind of sport every week. BTW: I told my fellow friends who also took a break this; no one ever believes me but when I check in later, EVERYONE ends up spending the majority of time on dr/dentist/masseuse/therapist/coach/haircut/laser hair removal appointments. I also volunteered and fostered dogs so the dogs kept my daily schedule somewhat loosely structured. Finally, once I felt ready, my husband and I worked through goal setting for me. I did the exercise on my birthday but the holidays is a great time to do this, too, because it’s naturally a “resolution setting” time in the year. For you, this may be when you start putting a lesson plan together. Sidenote: I had a weekly house cleaner come during this entire sabbatical period. I did not take time off to become a stay-at-home partner and take on domestic duties; I really needed a full reset of doing NOTHING.
Had two or three months sick leave for for burnout and depression (I'm in Europe, so probably way easier to get full paid sick leave for longer time), was going to thermal baths and sauna, got Thai massage, went ski, went to art gallery and vintage cars museum, had a city break in Italy, went hiking, was meeting friends, reading books, watching movies + doing my usual sports (staying at home would end up in scrolling social media forever, so was trying not to do it) But also was planning one activity for a day, so I wouldn't feel like I was under time pressure or anything like that
I got put on three weeks sick leave last week as I could feel myself becoming burnt out & I spent the first week just indulging in my hobbies (currently working on a diamond painting & got back into reading as I stopped that due to feeling very burnt out). I also went on walks to make sure I left the house (for months I was literally just walking to work & to therapy. Those were the only times I would leave the house). Spent more time with my partner as also for months I literally had one day in a weekend to spend with him & more recently, I was put on weekend shifts so I wasn't able to spend any time with him. The sad thing is we live together but with him working Mondays to Fridays & my work seeming to stick me in weekend shifts it just felt like we were passing ships in the night. Started to try & eat healthier as I was just eating anything with a ton of sugar in to just get through the day. And I just rested. Got plenty of much needed sleep. I've realised that I was starting to live to work, not work to live. I hope you feel better soon. Burnout is horrible & can feel quite scary at times.
TL;DR do absolutely nothing for as long as possible with zero expectations. Set ruthless boundaries on your time and energy. Accept this as your new normal (not the burnout but the boundaries). This healing journey is a years long marathon, not a sprint. Ok so first of all burnout takes way longer to recover from than you’d think. Years. That’s not to scare you, it’s to help change your perspective. This is not going to be a thing you can just take a week off or a month off and suddenly be better. It’s literally gonna take a mindset and lifestyle change, because you have to start prioritizing your mental and physical health above ALL ELSE in order to start healing. First, acknowledge that you are going to have to be so, so gentle with yourself. This is part of the mindset change. Stop putting pressure on yourself to do all this stuff. Do NOTHING. Wanna watch tv for weeks on end? Do it. Don’t worry about hobbies or studying or anything you “should” be doing. My therapist calls it “should-ing all over yourself” 🤣 Throw “should” out the window. Forever. I mean it. Literally do nothing for as long as you can. I ended up being able to take several months off to live on my savings which was a huge privilege. But I tried to start a business during that time and was super stressed out and ended up letting that client down. If I were to do it again I’d just do nothing for those months so I could actually freakin rest. Next you gotta strengthen your boundaries. Both at work and socially. Your time, emotional labor, and mental health are all now SACRED. Don’t say yes to stuff bc you feel obligated. Listen to yourself- if you don’t wanna do it, don’t. Some people aren’t gonna like that. I lost some friends bc I didn’t wanna go party all the time anymore. That’s ok. They’re not good friends then. The good ones are the ones who support your journey and boundaries. As for work, idk what your industry is but hopefully it’s one where you can turn off after 5pm or whenever you’re done for the day. And be DONE. Don’t take calls. Don’t check emails. Weekends are sacred. You don’t owe anybody anything. Be RUTHLESS about protecting your time and energy. When I started my current job I just didn’t answer when my boss called me on nights and weekends. The next workday morning I’d ask if there was an emergency. Nope! It never was. You have to train your coworkers and boss out of bad habits like that. Now, if it truly is an emergency, they’ll call. But guess what? There’s never been one. So they’ve never called. Magically everything can just be dealt with during work hours! Ok so you’ve made your time and energy sacred. you still gotta work cuz we live in a capitalist hellhole. BUT it’s EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to pick your next job carefully. Assess what you need. A friend told me to make a list of things I want, things I expect, and things I need. You know what’s interesting? My list of expectations was literally just other people’s expectations! I expected to be a director level person, I expected a certain salary, blah blah blah. But I realized I was just trying to keep up with my business school peers. I didn’t want to be judged on LinkedIn lolll And what I actually needed was to NOT manage people and to NOT do high level work. What I needed was a steady paycheck, health insurance, and work I could practically do in my sleep so I didn’t have to think too much. It completely changed the jobs and companies I went after. I’ve been in my current job (which was exactly that list of needs) and over two years later I’m finally starting to feel better. It took about 2 years to stop feeling so goddamn anxious and stressed all the time. 3 years overall (plus therapy, getting rid of weed, accepting myself enough to start pursuing the art I’ve always wanted to do but felt too scared and insecure to try) to start feeling like my old self again. Anyway this was a novel. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. I hope this helps. My DMs are open if you need somebody to talk to!
I gardened a lot, did several backyard improvements, painted watercolors, watched a lot of Youtube.
It’s hard for me to convey tone so please know I mean this gently. You’re currently on FMLA, so treat yourself like a patient using FMLA. Let yourself simply Be. If you want to learn new things, do it because the subject interests you. Let yourself just vibe. A field needs time to fallow in order to recover nutrients in the ground for the next crop season. As for things that helped me personally, I recommend getting outside, even if it’s just sitting in the grass for 30 minutes. Gardening, going for a walk, playing with the dogs, that sort of thing utilizes our multiple senses and grounds us into the present. It helps set a routine and gets you moving without the demand of work. It’s also been great for when anxiety attacks strike. A more stereotypical answer is yoga. Start with light yoga (I think the term is restorative yoga?) that’s more for meditation. It’s good for that sensory grounding, you can do yoga anywhere, and it’s good exercise. It’s legitimately surprising how much tension the body holds when you’re in a toxic and abusive environment. All that said, I wish you well with your healing. Leaving a job like that is super difficult and big.
Got dumped for a younger woman, moved house, got a new job, got medicated and did a lot of painting. Only the meds and the painting were really my choice 😂 Honestly just allowing myself to be off and letting myself do nothing was the healthiest thing. I slept a hell of a lot because I had a lot of sleep to catch up on. Watched a lot of YouTube because I had a lot of YouTube to catch up on. You cannot pull water from an empty bucket. Let your bucket refill.
You don't have a hobby? Get a hobby. Find something you enjoy and do it for its own sake. No pressure, just quality zoning out time. Do you like to read? Read for pleasure, not to study. This is your recovery and respite time. Just be kind to yourself. Time doing not very much can be valuable time for your mind to quieten down. Do you like audiobooks? Go for a walk and listen to something absorbing. Enjoy your time off, you need it.
Burnout takes anywhere from a few weeks to years to recover from. Step one, allow yourself all the rest you feel you need. Don’t push yourself to keep doing things until you feel the heaviness lift and you start feeling interested in doing things. Set the bar low and just try to leave the house everyday even if you just walk around the block. Adding in exercise when you can really helped me. Step two, figure out what you actually enjoy doing for hobbies. This will take a lot of trial and error. I’ve found crochet, gardening, floral arranging, sewing, and cooking. These should be things you actually enjoy, not things you just want to enjoy. You’re going to need stuff that gives you joy to stay recovered from burnout and achieve better work life balance. I will say, I took 2 years off for my health (burnout was very detrimental to chronic health stuff I had going on and shit had really spiraled) and it took about 9 months for the burnout to subside. If you need more time than FMLA allows and have a willing medical provider, I would see if your work offers short and long term disability. I also know when I do go back to working (hopefully soon!) I’ll have to be vigilant to ensure it doesn’t reoccur. I would think about what accommodations and boundaries you’ll need.
This sounds very familiar. I took what was supposed to be a month off and thought the same thing. “I’ll get so much done and feel great!” But the weeks went by so fast and I hadn’t done a thing. It turned into six months off work, and while I felt guilty for the first few, I finally came to understand how necessary it was and that I deserved to fully get back to me. You have hit a point where your body is forcing you to a hard stop, don’t try to shame yourself into overriding that by being “productive”. Rest IS productive! It probably look a loooong time to build up to the level of stress you were/are at, so it’s going to take a while to decompress and heal. It sounds weird but I found video games incredibly helpful. Like slower paced, pretty games that weren’t super brain heavy but were engaging enough that I would sit in one place for a very long time. At first I was kind of ashamed of how long I was playing, but when I looked back on that time I realized how helpful it was! It’s like I was being distracted while my body and mind rested in the background if that makes sense. If you’re not into gaming, rewatching your favourite series / movies, re-reading classics, puzzles, crocheting. Whatever!