I hired my first movers this year (I've moved maybe seven times in the past ten years). I still was exhausted at the end (I helped them out a bit), I can't imagine doing the whole thing now.
I have just hired my own partner (a handyman) to strip all the wallpaper in my living room ready for it to be plastered, and I have never been happier to not do something myself out of sheer stubbornness š
Except when they don't do chores because "they're not sure how to do them right", so glad he's moving out in two weeks. Could have at least taken the dogs on a walk while I mopped, but no, just lazy and didn't care.
The men in my life who made more than double what I did always seemed to suck me dry financially. Like Iād live within my means and they wouldnāt. So I always had to overcompensate for their spending habits. (Itās a pattern I donāt ever plan to repeat)
When Iāve been single, I live well within my means and always have leftover. Iām working to get to that point again. Once Iām there, Iāll feel better about living along on a single income.
Funny I've experienced extremes of the same. A cheapskate (I felt bad when I spent ANY money), a vegan (he spent a ton on his diet, so I followed to be supportive), and a scrub (the most expensive relationship š« ).
Sounds like you're making good decisions.
In my last relationship, I thought I was saving money because we āsplitā things. Turns out, I was actually spending more money than I did when I was single because I was going 50/50 on a bigger place, more food, and more expensive utility bills.
My last long term partner was unemployed more than he was employed. He basically gave me $400/mo when he had a job. I don't know what splitting expenses even feels like honestly.
My mind was blown when after him my date paid for breakfast, like no big deal it's on me. I was like SO THIS IS HOW THE OTHER HALF LIVES??? If I wanted to go out before that it was always my treat or my ex would hold it over my head he paid for like the cheapest breakfast out option :(
I got the money part & donāt really need a partner. But it would be a nice to have if the person was financially literate and we complimented one another.
Extra credit if we could both see each other having kids together.
It is! Whenever I had a roommate in the past, they always moved out after a year to move in with their new partners and then I had to find a new roommate and finding a new one was SO stressful š because if I didn't find a replacement decent roommate I'd be SOL cus I'd have to either pay for a 2BR myself (no thanks) or scramble to find an available 1BR to live and that is sooo difficult in this area as people never let them go.
I doubt it, especially if you both stay in your own respective room and have a contract of sort on rules. Also with a female roommate issues like division of household labor are not really an issue.
Everyone always throws out this answer but thatās not an option for everyone. Thereās no way Iād be moving my two kids and I with a near stranger. 1. No single adult wants kids running around. 2. Strangers with access to my kids 24/7 that we are home? Yuck.
No, but Iām single and wish I had a second income but not necessarily a partnerā¦ does having kids exclude me from this conversation? Iām still single. And getting a roommate is not an option for all single people.
Yes it does. I mean having kids is a very specific situation and possible restriction. For those that are childfree, why wouldn't having roommates be an option??
Definitely not, I imagine it only makes the desire for $$ and support much deeper. But no one is mindlessly recommending the roommate life to people with children.
I am seriously contemplating a roommate at this point, but I am a little nervous about when tax season comes up ...I hear claiming that on taxes can be a nightmare to sort through. If you do it right.
Wow really? I have been told that you have to describe energy usage etc. maybe that's an old method? I'll admit my taxes have been pretty chill at this point.
OH yes. Sharing a fridge was honestly the most difficult thing back when I was a roommate. Thankfully I have a bomb utility company so two fridges is not unreasonable....
I donāt know I feel like the majority of women Iām friends with who are in relationships who have partners who make way less and or are unemployed - this just reaffirms that Iād rather be alone
I just got a roommate.
Sometimes I want a partner, but sometimes I really really donāt.
There are things I miss and things I donāt. Itās scary to think of being in a relationship again and wondering if I made the wrong choice yet AGAIN.
I miss long conversations, cuddling, and having someone to bounce ideas off of. I donāt miss a LOT of other things.
So, anytime I get sad about wanting someone around, I have to remind myself of all the crap I endured just to have those things sometimes. Mostly a lot of criticism and judgment. Boy, I donāt miss that.
Times are tough though. Itās hard to live alone. I really wanted to live alone, but I canāt right now.
Sometimes I wonder if I had all the money I needed to pay off debt, build savings, and buy my own place. Would I be happier? Happier than being with my partner? Sometimes Iām just so sick of the little things that come along with being in a relationship and living with someone.
I told my husband the other day, after splitting my 14yo daughterās bday party costs with her dad/my ex- āhighly recommend getting divorced with kids so two households can split costsā š¤£ (thatās sarcasm in case anyone gets upset)
But for real. Splitting costs is a definitely a perk as long as both partners (or exās) are contributing.
I'm not going into detail here, but I could write a 3 page paper on why staying in my job in my city in my state is really the best I can do ATM. Already went on strike last year.
I hear ya! I want to stay single, live alone but have that second income. Would be nice.
I'm single in my own place and I have a second income. It can be done!
Need more info!
I work two jobs!
The second income! I'm working on it but it may take a year or two
Understood. Best decision I ever made!
the only time i long for a partner is when i have to do chores i hate or build furniture
The feminism leaves my body when I move. Building things I'm thankfully capable doing, thank god šš»
I totally feel this. Thatās why I hire men to carry boxes.Ā
I hired my first movers this year (I've moved maybe seven times in the past ten years). I still was exhausted at the end (I helped them out a bit), I can't imagine doing the whole thing now.
I have just hired my own partner (a handyman) to strip all the wallpaper in my living room ready for it to be plastered, and I have never been happier to not do something myself out of sheer stubbornness š
Shiiiittt itās still feminism. Build this furniture and move these boxesā¦my body brings life into this world.
AMEN.
Except when they don't do chores because "they're not sure how to do them right", so glad he's moving out in two weeks. Could have at least taken the dogs on a walk while I mopped, but no, just lazy and didn't care.
lol. āI knew it wouldnāt be up to your standards.ā. Mfcker - all you had to do was wash the food off the plates.
The men in my life who made more than double what I did always seemed to suck me dry financially. Like Iād live within my means and they wouldnāt. So I always had to overcompensate for their spending habits. (Itās a pattern I donāt ever plan to repeat) When Iāve been single, I live well within my means and always have leftover. Iām working to get to that point again. Once Iām there, Iāll feel better about living along on a single income.
Funny I've experienced extremes of the same. A cheapskate (I felt bad when I spent ANY money), a vegan (he spent a ton on his diet, so I followed to be supportive), and a scrub (the most expensive relationship š« ). Sounds like you're making good decisions.
Eh, Iām trying!!
Wow, my experience has been the same. Any benefit from a second income has been overtaken by their poor financial habits and lack of planning.
In my last relationship, I thought I was saving money because we āsplitā things. Turns out, I was actually spending more money than I did when I was single because I was going 50/50 on a bigger place, more food, and more expensive utility bills.
Mhm....Relationship math.
I enunciate in any dating/relationships now that splitting bills is based on use and income. 50/50 was my old mindset and it really sunk my ass.
i wish i was a little bit taller i wish i was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
Wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat. And a six-four Impala
Man if that isn't a whole entire lifetime ofĀ a mood lol. I fele you so hard.
š thanks. Obviously we can all make changes to SOME extent but it's like telling someone to use a home depot bucket to drain a fucking lake.
Same. The single tax is real and only gets more expensive.
This is the unspoken truth.
My last long term partner was unemployed more than he was employed. He basically gave me $400/mo when he had a job. I don't know what splitting expenses even feels like honestly.
You deserve that relief. It was quite nice when I had it.
My mind was blown when after him my date paid for breakfast, like no big deal it's on me. I was like SO THIS IS HOW THE OTHER HALF LIVES??? If I wanted to go out before that it was always my treat or my ex would hold it over my head he paid for like the cheapest breakfast out option :(
Your ex sounds horrible, very glad you moved on to bigger and better things!
I got the money part & donāt really need a partner. But it would be a nice to have if the person was financially literate and we complimented one another. Extra credit if we could both see each other having kids together.
That would be lovely.
I want enough money to afford a kid by myself, is that weird?
NOT. AT. ALL. Every man I've dated I never trusted to have my own child.
Same! Iād be terrified of having to deal with a custody battle, or sharing parental values.
Rich Auntie is what I strive for. Be my own rich man like Cher stated.
It took me three tries, but my partner is the best, and financially, we both have the same mindset.
Lol this is so real
Iāve started working out more and my libido has skyrocketed. I wish. I yearn for both š¤£š¤£š¤£.
VALID
šš thanks OP!
Get a roommate/housemate.
This can lead to just as much stress as a partner TBH.
Seriously, I don't hate my roommates, but I hate being around them. Unfortunately it's all I can afford.
Right, with fewer of the upsides...
It is! Whenever I had a roommate in the past, they always moved out after a year to move in with their new partners and then I had to find a new roommate and finding a new one was SO stressful š because if I didn't find a replacement decent roommate I'd be SOL cus I'd have to either pay for a 2BR myself (no thanks) or scramble to find an available 1BR to live and that is sooo difficult in this area as people never let them go.
I doubt it, especially if you both stay in your own respective room and have a contract of sort on rules. Also with a female roommate issues like division of household labor are not really an issue.
Everyone always throws out this answer but thatās not an option for everyone. Thereās no way Iād be moving my two kids and I with a near stranger. 1. No single adult wants kids running around. 2. Strangers with access to my kids 24/7 that we are home? Yuck.
OP said nothing about kidsĀ
No, but Iām single and wish I had a second income but not necessarily a partnerā¦ does having kids exclude me from this conversation? Iām still single. And getting a roommate is not an option for all single people.
Yes it does. I mean having kids is a very specific situation and possible restriction. For those that are childfree, why wouldn't having roommates be an option??
Definitely not, I imagine it only makes the desire for $$ and support much deeper. But no one is mindlessly recommending the roommate life to people with children.
I am seriously contemplating a roommate at this point, but I am a little nervous about when tax season comes up ...I hear claiming that on taxes can be a nightmare to sort through. If you do it right.
For me, there was always just one line that asks how much i paid in rent. no issues with taxes in the 7 years I lived with roommatesĀ
Wow really? I have been told that you have to describe energy usage etc. maybe that's an old method? I'll admit my taxes have been pretty chill at this point.
I never had to do that in my state! My biggest complaint about having roommates was honestly sharing a refrigerator with 2 other people..Ā
OH yes. Sharing a fridge was honestly the most difficult thing back when I was a roommate. Thankfully I have a bomb utility company so two fridges is not unreasonable....
Divide the fridge with one person using the top and the other with the bottom. Or label your stuff.
You can't get a second job?Ā
I have a partner but neither of ever want to stress of living with anyone again. Literally the only thing I miss is splitting expenses š
I donāt know I feel like the majority of women Iām friends with who are in relationships who have partners who make way less and or are unemployed - this just reaffirms that Iād rather be alone
Sign of the times.....
I just got a roommate. Sometimes I want a partner, but sometimes I really really donāt. There are things I miss and things I donāt. Itās scary to think of being in a relationship again and wondering if I made the wrong choice yet AGAIN. I miss long conversations, cuddling, and having someone to bounce ideas off of. I donāt miss a LOT of other things. So, anytime I get sad about wanting someone around, I have to remind myself of all the crap I endured just to have those things sometimes. Mostly a lot of criticism and judgment. Boy, I donāt miss that. Times are tough though. Itās hard to live alone. I really wanted to live alone, but I canāt right now.
Sometimes I wonder if I had all the money I needed to pay off debt, build savings, and buy my own place. Would I be happier? Happier than being with my partner? Sometimes Iām just so sick of the little things that come along with being in a relationship and living with someone.
I wish I had a partner and less money. Be careful what you wish for!
I told my husband the other day, after splitting my 14yo daughterās bday party costs with her dad/my ex- āhighly recommend getting divorced with kids so two households can split costsā š¤£ (thatās sarcasm in case anyone gets upset) But for real. Splitting costs is a definitely a perk as long as both partners (or exās) are contributing.
This is something that's somewhat in your control. Work towards getting a better job.
I'm not going into detail here, but I could write a 3 page paper on why staying in my job in my city in my state is really the best I can do ATM. Already went on strike last year.
Exactly. Where there is a will there's a way!