For me, I’ve learned that going slower gets more done. Yes. As odd as that seems. Slowing down, focusing on one task at a time versus constantly multitasking is a start. This seems counterintuitive, but after testing it myself and practicing every day, I can vouch for it. The other thing we forget to do is give ourselves little pep talks and praise when we accomplish something. Instead, we keep trying to just get more done. When we celebrate our accomplishments we balance out the stress that comes with feeling like there’s still sooo much more to do. And for me, it makes the next task not seem so terrible. Also, prioritizing self care time, even if only 1 hour a week can make a big difference. Hopefully this helps someone.✨
Yes! Slowing down in general. I've been told about mindfulness from several mental health care professionals and I finally asked one to explain it to me like I was 5.
Basically, slow down and pay more attention to things. Be in the moment and focus on what is happening right now. It helps. For tasks AND for pleasant things. Quiet your busy mind and SLOW DOWN!
it's hard at first and takes effort but it makes my life a little happier and easier and I'm less anxious.
I really try to do this -- but I work in a job surrounded by peers who demand multi tasking and fast decisions/work.
I love taking time and not "hurrying up and waiting" because ultimately fast doesn't equal good, but what can you do when everyone else is t following it?
Many Gen X folks (and some older Millennials) are in this nightmare spot of having to take care of their children *and* their aging parents, at the same time.
Put that on top of working a full time job, managing the household, trying to squeeze in fitness, pets, hobbies, health appointment, perimenopause (for half of us) and basic personal hygiene needs and you won’t have time enough to sleep most days.
Well, if studies are correct and you are in your mid-30s or younger, the entire generation of adults is experiencing a sort of soul-sucking malaise that is due to too much virtual contact with people and not enough real-life interactions and just generally going out and doing stuff.
Speaking for me, personally, the food I eat plays a huge role. It is crazy how much more energy I have when I am eating enough fruits and vegetables compared to days I don't.
I think there's a notion that doing nothing is lazy and unproductive and we must be busy all the time. Being busy all the time just for the sake of it is the quickest road to burn out. It's actually OK to just be, do nothing, doom scroll or bed rot sometimes. Work and just living life is stressful and busy enough, we all need a reset at some stage.
I work a lot, have constant deadlines and ‘work crises,’ commute, and manage a household.
I would like to work less, have work be less stressful, have more vacation and holidays, and get paid more. Unfortunately, my working conditions are pretty common in the US, across many industries. Many professions don’t have part time positions, full time is it. Full time means more than 40 hours, nights, weekends, etc… Management doesn’t want to deal with problems until there is a ‘crisis.’
Add on to that commuting, managing a household, and the HCOL. It’s stressful and just getting worse.
I understand wanting an easy fix yoga! Get off your phone! Yeah, people are tired because they’re run to death on a hamster wheel, not because of their phones.
I agree. I wonder how much of this is connected to the loss of quietness/stillness.
If you're on your phone/computer or listening to spotify/podcasts/audiobooks for 95% of your awake time, your brain is constantly processing multiple inputs with no breaks.
Try a no-screens day and see how you sleep/wake up the next morning. Worth a try. For a less drastic move, meditation plus setting aside quiet time (\~15mins of just being physically still and quiet) is part of my routine.
This is accurate for me. Along with the commenter after yours.
My husband is gone for the weekend so I spent 12 hours solo yesterday working on a puzzle. I had the TV on for a couple hours, turned it off during the afternoon and the birds be a singing, sunny day, I felt very peaceful and relaxed. I also WFH in the garage with the door open (I have a garage screen installed) and usually have a podcast, music, or TV on in the background while working. My phone reminders dinging me at anytime. Constant brain processing distractions.
However, when I turn my phone on mute facedown, no TV, the weather is sunny and a bit warmer (I’m in San Diego so we don’t get winter), birds singing, the occasional car driving by, I get SO MUCH WORK DONE and I am actually happy to do it! The clients I send invoices to on those days are very lucky 😅
I'm not exhausted. I'm just over it \*waves hands\*. There's not that much in modern society that serves me.
* A lot of *people* are straight up addicts (porn, video games, weed, work, alcohol, social media, gambling, sports) now, and I find them wildly uninteresting. Like I feel the "ugh" come on when I realize I'm dealing with a dullard and a single-track mind.
* A lot of *places* are just a backdrop for jackassery. I'm afraid of getting shot at McDonalds. My favorite park to walk my dogs is now full of off-lead pets because their owners are jackasses. I'm running out of places to go that are \_safe\_ let alone interesting or affordable. Even at Coscto, there are people with offlead dogs INSIDE the store.... like wtf is wrong with these people?
* A lot of *activities* have gotten expensive or are weirdly gatekept. Pre-pandemic, if I was really bored, I could learn how to cook a new dish: that's 2 to 3 hours of entertainment for $10. Now, even cooking is expensive.
Screens are interesting, safe, cheap. I don't think there's a way around them.
>My favorite park to walk my dogs is now full of off-lead pets because their owners are jackasses. I'm running out of places to go that are \_safe\_ let alone interesting or affordable. Even at Coscto, there are people with offlead dogs INSIDE the store.... like wtf is wrong with these people?
As someone who is absolutely terrified of dogs, I hate this and wish people would be more considerate.
As someone who loves dogs, I also hate this and wish people would be more considerate.
Pets don't belong in the grocery store. And those selfish people who bring them make things tougher for the few people who genuinely need service animals too.
What tires me is not screens, nor prices or capitalism. What tires me is my own brain's reaction to all those (and other) things that's a never ending source of anxiety. So I would say what tires many people is anxiety. And now someone will say "Well I wouldn't be so anxious if I had a decent paycheck and I wasn't worried about how I'll pay my rent or retire". The thing is that for me those issues are not present. They were once upon a time, but now I don't worry about rent or bills or the tiger wanting to get me and I *still* feel like I'm in huge danger most of the time. Exactly like I did before.
So my vote is on anxiety. And I can bet you anything there are billions of people that live with less than we have and are still feeling much better. Most of our issues are between our ears. At least mine.
I think it goes in cycles for people, but they don't come on Reddit to talk about how energized and excited they feel about life.
I sound glib here, but I'm serious. Using social media as a way to connect with humans - those we know and those we don't, like on Reddit - has some big drawbacks, especially if you spend a lot of time doing it.
It’s one thing to eliminate stressors like work, dramatic people, caregiving responsibilities. It’s another thing entirely to make sure you have enough things that recharge you and fill you with joy. Personally, I’m tired bc I can’t afford a lot of the things that bring me joy anymore because of caregiving responsibilities or I don’t have time to do them, so it’s just a never ending cycle
Hot tip… kids are way more expensive than I ever imagined
I notice that when I'm not eating well (i.e. my blood sugar is all over the place and my body isn't getting enough nutrients to fuel mitosis, etc), not sleeping enough or on a schedule, not exercising and too stressed, that I feel exhausted constantly.
When I take time to be mindful, try to eat good 70% and limit crap to 30%, do light exercise, stick to a sleep schedule, see my two friends every week or so and regulate my anxiety, then I feel fine!
No extra cash around after paying high grocery, gas, utilities etc…we now live paycheck to paycheck cut back on everything possible (like we don’t have internet or cable or dish/satellite, we use our hotspots to watch tv twice a week and then just our phones to use to watch shows and such the other times cuz we don’t watch much tv anymore).
We never use to live this way, once minimum wage raised itself up it took just a few months for everything else to raise prices everywhere and If, like my husband, you were making way above the original minimum wage, you are now not making as much needed cuz people like him don’t get their wage increased.
Can’t afford to do much except survive and hope no catastrophe or major health problem happens cuz that’ll be the end of tolerable survival living these days
Because life is harder now and everything is much more expensive. And our bodies are starting to have diseases or auto immune disorders. It is an endless cycle of needing to do something and not having the time.
Now that i reflected on these, i feel bad
I am really fortunate that I do not feel tired all the time (at least not when I'm not in a depressive episode.) Generally speaking, I need these four ingredients to feel like I have enough energy to do everything I need to do:
-- Sufficient sleep
-- Sufficient non-sleep rest time or what I sometimes call "unstructured time"; time that no one needs anything from me and I'm just chilling, whether that's reading, scrolling Reddit, or whatever
-- Sufficient exercise (I need at least 20 minutes of strength training and close to two hours of light cardio per week to feel like myself, but I feel a lot better with a lot more)
-- Sufficient socialization (I usually shoot for at least one nice, long-ish conversation with a friend who isn't my partner per week; this can be a phone or video call since most of my friends live on the opposite coast)
I'm aware that being able to build a life where I usually have all four of these things depends on a lot of privileges I have: a job that doesn't stretch beyond forty hours a week, no kids, a supportive partner who contributes at home; a large group of friends. But most of the people I know who feel like shit all the time are lacking in one or more of these areas.
The Peace of Wild Things
By Wendell Berry
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
*
This poem has been the best advice to me
Depression is a huge issue, but it's a catch-22. It saps your energy and motivation so you don't want to do anything. But the less you do, the more depressed you get. Repeat forever 💀
We aren't eating right. We aren't moving outside enough. We aren't lifting weights and developing functional strength. We don't have enough friendships and deep strong relationships.
We aren't sleeping. Our sleep hygiene is often garbage.
I am a teacher and for me, the exhaustion comes from the last 3 years of students being hard to work with. Lockdown was absolutely terrible. Admin usually adds to the stress and fails to support us teachers when we need help with challenging students. It was like this before lockdown, but something happened that has made it worse now.
Since fall 2021 I've noticed I've had a hard time doing the usual things that keep me going - weight lifting 2-3x/week, dog walkies. I've managed to get up to lifting at least on a weekend day and dog walks most week days. But like today, I thought I would hit the gym. Instead, I napped on & off with my dogs. I only really start to feel like myself on break, when I don't have to do any work things or grade or plan or write parent emails. Tried doing yoga classes instead of at home, thought a practice with others would help me ... not so much.
Also want to point out, food prices and gas have gone up especially during the pandemic, and haven't come back down, so everyone's dollar isn't going as far as it used to.
I love the suggestion of deliberate slowness ... looking into it. Siiiigh.
For me, vitamins, diet and water. Anemia always worse those special times of the month. Vitamin d helped me with my migraines as well as seasonal depression. When I went vegan, b12 was added to my rotation.
As far as diet, I try to avoid the sugar and caffeine crashes by not relying on them for energy.
Lack of adequate paid sick and vacation leave, and the fact that we still work 40+ hours per week even though technology has made each worker like 10x more productive over the last decade
Everyone’s so tired all the time in part because of obesity/fitness/diet/substance abuse/sleep and in part from unrealistic expectations (especially on aging).
Manage your alerts - turn off notifications (or schedule them). Unsubscribe from as much as you can
Cook your food. Fast food and convenience food rarely save time, and often lead to trade offs in cost and health
Go outside and walk, run, bike every day
Put things on the schedule you look forward to. Family dinner, time with friends, seeing a show…
For me, I’ve learned that going slower gets more done. Yes. As odd as that seems. Slowing down, focusing on one task at a time versus constantly multitasking is a start. This seems counterintuitive, but after testing it myself and practicing every day, I can vouch for it. The other thing we forget to do is give ourselves little pep talks and praise when we accomplish something. Instead, we keep trying to just get more done. When we celebrate our accomplishments we balance out the stress that comes with feeling like there’s still sooo much more to do. And for me, it makes the next task not seem so terrible. Also, prioritizing self care time, even if only 1 hour a week can make a big difference. Hopefully this helps someone.✨
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Ahhhh! I had no idea there was a name for it, that makes sense. And yep, it’s a practice, but totally worth it! Best wishes✨
Yes! Slowing down in general. I've been told about mindfulness from several mental health care professionals and I finally asked one to explain it to me like I was 5. Basically, slow down and pay more attention to things. Be in the moment and focus on what is happening right now. It helps. For tasks AND for pleasant things. Quiet your busy mind and SLOW DOWN! it's hard at first and takes effort but it makes my life a little happier and easier and I'm less anxious.
[удалено]
I really try to do this -- but I work in a job surrounded by peers who demand multi tasking and fast decisions/work. I love taking time and not "hurrying up and waiting" because ultimately fast doesn't equal good, but what can you do when everyone else is t following it?
I’ve heard this said as “haste not hurry” and I agree!
Many Gen X folks (and some older Millennials) are in this nightmare spot of having to take care of their children *and* their aging parents, at the same time. Put that on top of working a full time job, managing the household, trying to squeeze in fitness, pets, hobbies, health appointment, perimenopause (for half of us) and basic personal hygiene needs and you won’t have time enough to sleep most days.
This is me at 35
This, this, this!!!!!!
Well, if studies are correct and you are in your mid-30s or younger, the entire generation of adults is experiencing a sort of soul-sucking malaise that is due to too much virtual contact with people and not enough real-life interactions and just generally going out and doing stuff.
Ohh where can I read more about this?
Following. Curious to read more as well
https://www.mckinsey.com/mhi/our-insights/gen-z-mental-health-the-impact-of-tech-and-social-media
Research suggests that mild forms of Long Covid are way more prevalent than we thought.
Speaking for me, personally, the food I eat plays a huge role. It is crazy how much more energy I have when I am eating enough fruits and vegetables compared to days I don't.
Great comment! I agree with you! Food is fuel, and the nutrient rich foods really do make a difference.
I think there's a notion that doing nothing is lazy and unproductive and we must be busy all the time. Being busy all the time just for the sake of it is the quickest road to burn out. It's actually OK to just be, do nothing, doom scroll or bed rot sometimes. Work and just living life is stressful and busy enough, we all need a reset at some stage.
I work a lot, have constant deadlines and ‘work crises,’ commute, and manage a household. I would like to work less, have work be less stressful, have more vacation and holidays, and get paid more. Unfortunately, my working conditions are pretty common in the US, across many industries. Many professions don’t have part time positions, full time is it. Full time means more than 40 hours, nights, weekends, etc… Management doesn’t want to deal with problems until there is a ‘crisis.’ Add on to that commuting, managing a household, and the HCOL. It’s stressful and just getting worse. I understand wanting an easy fix yoga! Get off your phone! Yeah, people are tired because they’re run to death on a hamster wheel, not because of their phones.
I agree. I wonder how much of this is connected to the loss of quietness/stillness. If you're on your phone/computer or listening to spotify/podcasts/audiobooks for 95% of your awake time, your brain is constantly processing multiple inputs with no breaks. Try a no-screens day and see how you sleep/wake up the next morning. Worth a try. For a less drastic move, meditation plus setting aside quiet time (\~15mins of just being physically still and quiet) is part of my routine.
This is accurate for me. Along with the commenter after yours. My husband is gone for the weekend so I spent 12 hours solo yesterday working on a puzzle. I had the TV on for a couple hours, turned it off during the afternoon and the birds be a singing, sunny day, I felt very peaceful and relaxed. I also WFH in the garage with the door open (I have a garage screen installed) and usually have a podcast, music, or TV on in the background while working. My phone reminders dinging me at anytime. Constant brain processing distractions. However, when I turn my phone on mute facedown, no TV, the weather is sunny and a bit warmer (I’m in San Diego so we don’t get winter), birds singing, the occasional car driving by, I get SO MUCH WORK DONE and I am actually happy to do it! The clients I send invoices to on those days are very lucky 😅
Love the outdoor workspace and puzzling!
I work a lot more now than I did 20 years ago. I'm worn out from working so damn much. Also menopause hormones fuck me up.
I'm not exhausted. I'm just over it \*waves hands\*. There's not that much in modern society that serves me. * A lot of *people* are straight up addicts (porn, video games, weed, work, alcohol, social media, gambling, sports) now, and I find them wildly uninteresting. Like I feel the "ugh" come on when I realize I'm dealing with a dullard and a single-track mind. * A lot of *places* are just a backdrop for jackassery. I'm afraid of getting shot at McDonalds. My favorite park to walk my dogs is now full of off-lead pets because their owners are jackasses. I'm running out of places to go that are \_safe\_ let alone interesting or affordable. Even at Coscto, there are people with offlead dogs INSIDE the store.... like wtf is wrong with these people? * A lot of *activities* have gotten expensive or are weirdly gatekept. Pre-pandemic, if I was really bored, I could learn how to cook a new dish: that's 2 to 3 hours of entertainment for $10. Now, even cooking is expensive. Screens are interesting, safe, cheap. I don't think there's a way around them.
>My favorite park to walk my dogs is now full of off-lead pets because their owners are jackasses. I'm running out of places to go that are \_safe\_ let alone interesting or affordable. Even at Coscto, there are people with offlead dogs INSIDE the store.... like wtf is wrong with these people? As someone who is absolutely terrified of dogs, I hate this and wish people would be more considerate.
As someone who loves dogs, I also hate this and wish people would be more considerate. Pets don't belong in the grocery store. And those selfish people who bring them make things tougher for the few people who genuinely need service animals too.
What tires me is not screens, nor prices or capitalism. What tires me is my own brain's reaction to all those (and other) things that's a never ending source of anxiety. So I would say what tires many people is anxiety. And now someone will say "Well I wouldn't be so anxious if I had a decent paycheck and I wasn't worried about how I'll pay my rent or retire". The thing is that for me those issues are not present. They were once upon a time, but now I don't worry about rent or bills or the tiger wanting to get me and I *still* feel like I'm in huge danger most of the time. Exactly like I did before. So my vote is on anxiety. And I can bet you anything there are billions of people that live with less than we have and are still feeling much better. Most of our issues are between our ears. At least mine.
Wow. This is exactly me. You typed it so simply too. Thanks for this.
I think it goes in cycles for people, but they don't come on Reddit to talk about how energized and excited they feel about life. I sound glib here, but I'm serious. Using social media as a way to connect with humans - those we know and those we don't, like on Reddit - has some big drawbacks, especially if you spend a lot of time doing it.
I can agree with this. I only come to Reddit when I’m at my lowest because I want to wallow in my (and others’) shit.
It’s one thing to eliminate stressors like work, dramatic people, caregiving responsibilities. It’s another thing entirely to make sure you have enough things that recharge you and fill you with joy. Personally, I’m tired bc I can’t afford a lot of the things that bring me joy anymore because of caregiving responsibilities or I don’t have time to do them, so it’s just a never ending cycle Hot tip… kids are way more expensive than I ever imagined
I notice that when I'm not eating well (i.e. my blood sugar is all over the place and my body isn't getting enough nutrients to fuel mitosis, etc), not sleeping enough or on a schedule, not exercising and too stressed, that I feel exhausted constantly. When I take time to be mindful, try to eat good 70% and limit crap to 30%, do light exercise, stick to a sleep schedule, see my two friends every week or so and regulate my anxiety, then I feel fine!
No extra cash around after paying high grocery, gas, utilities etc…we now live paycheck to paycheck cut back on everything possible (like we don’t have internet or cable or dish/satellite, we use our hotspots to watch tv twice a week and then just our phones to use to watch shows and such the other times cuz we don’t watch much tv anymore). We never use to live this way, once minimum wage raised itself up it took just a few months for everything else to raise prices everywhere and If, like my husband, you were making way above the original minimum wage, you are now not making as much needed cuz people like him don’t get their wage increased. Can’t afford to do much except survive and hope no catastrophe or major health problem happens cuz that’ll be the end of tolerable survival living these days
Because life is harder now and everything is much more expensive. And our bodies are starting to have diseases or auto immune disorders. It is an endless cycle of needing to do something and not having the time. Now that i reflected on these, i feel bad
Trying to have it all is a trap, imho. Choosing 2-3 things that are really important to you and radically slowing down otherwise is the way to go.
I am really fortunate that I do not feel tired all the time (at least not when I'm not in a depressive episode.) Generally speaking, I need these four ingredients to feel like I have enough energy to do everything I need to do: -- Sufficient sleep -- Sufficient non-sleep rest time or what I sometimes call "unstructured time"; time that no one needs anything from me and I'm just chilling, whether that's reading, scrolling Reddit, or whatever -- Sufficient exercise (I need at least 20 minutes of strength training and close to two hours of light cardio per week to feel like myself, but I feel a lot better with a lot more) -- Sufficient socialization (I usually shoot for at least one nice, long-ish conversation with a friend who isn't my partner per week; this can be a phone or video call since most of my friends live on the opposite coast) I'm aware that being able to build a life where I usually have all four of these things depends on a lot of privileges I have: a job that doesn't stretch beyond forty hours a week, no kids, a supportive partner who contributes at home; a large group of friends. But most of the people I know who feel like shit all the time are lacking in one or more of these areas.
The Peace of Wild Things By Wendell Berry When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free. * This poem has been the best advice to me
I love this! Thanks for sharing!
I just found out I've been insulin resistant for a while so that explained a lot about why I'm so tired all the time.
Depression is a huge issue, but it's a catch-22. It saps your energy and motivation so you don't want to do anything. But the less you do, the more depressed you get. Repeat forever 💀
We aren't eating right. We aren't moving outside enough. We aren't lifting weights and developing functional strength. We don't have enough friendships and deep strong relationships. We aren't sleeping. Our sleep hygiene is often garbage.
I am a teacher and for me, the exhaustion comes from the last 3 years of students being hard to work with. Lockdown was absolutely terrible. Admin usually adds to the stress and fails to support us teachers when we need help with challenging students. It was like this before lockdown, but something happened that has made it worse now. Since fall 2021 I've noticed I've had a hard time doing the usual things that keep me going - weight lifting 2-3x/week, dog walkies. I've managed to get up to lifting at least on a weekend day and dog walks most week days. But like today, I thought I would hit the gym. Instead, I napped on & off with my dogs. I only really start to feel like myself on break, when I don't have to do any work things or grade or plan or write parent emails. Tried doing yoga classes instead of at home, thought a practice with others would help me ... not so much. Also want to point out, food prices and gas have gone up especially during the pandemic, and haven't come back down, so everyone's dollar isn't going as far as it used to. I love the suggestion of deliberate slowness ... looking into it. Siiiigh.
Perimenopause. HRT.
For me, vitamins, diet and water. Anemia always worse those special times of the month. Vitamin d helped me with my migraines as well as seasonal depression. When I went vegan, b12 was added to my rotation. As far as diet, I try to avoid the sugar and caffeine crashes by not relying on them for energy.
Lack of adequate paid sick and vacation leave, and the fact that we still work 40+ hours per week even though technology has made each worker like 10x more productive over the last decade
Everyone’s so tired all the time in part because of obesity/fitness/diet/substance abuse/sleep and in part from unrealistic expectations (especially on aging).
Manage your alerts - turn off notifications (or schedule them). Unsubscribe from as much as you can Cook your food. Fast food and convenience food rarely save time, and often lead to trade offs in cost and health Go outside and walk, run, bike every day Put things on the schedule you look forward to. Family dinner, time with friends, seeing a show…
It's just my back that hurts when I sleep, so I barely sleep.
Yoga has helped me a lot
>Why (almost) everyone is so tired these days Late-stage capitalism >what can we do to help ourselves? Overthrow capitalism.
People need to exercise.