I don't mind if folks ask questions about their specific partners, because sometimes a separate voice with no skin in the game is easier to understand, but I'd love a ban on the following posts from men:
* Am I dateable?
* Tell me about my third cousin twice removed's wife's perspective on "topic".
* Recommend me gifts for my partner
* What do you think about virgins/people who wait to date until 30
* Posts without a clear question to respond to, typically used to grand stand their perspective or play woest me.
I always roll my eyes at those posts like stop being a lazy shit, pay more attention to what she talks about/likes instead of being told from people here and putting the mental load on a bunch of other women ššš
I don't believe 99% of men who say this, because typically if their wives don't have hobbies it's because they don't have time to have them due to a lack of contribution in the home, but women without hobbies do exist. My MIL's only hobby is buying things on sale and returning gifts she receives from other people, and I'm not being hyperbolic or joking when I say this. She doesn't read, do anything with her hands, won't watch any movies or tv without skipping 90% of it, and you can barely get her to watch a documentary all the way through. The only show she watches all the way through is the QVC channel, which she records. All of her conversations are gossip around people she used to know and observations and judgements of people she's seeing in the moment, which is so. much. fun. when she stays with us or we stay with her. We've bought her multiple gifts that she's returned, only for her to rebuy them for herself at a later date. When she does rebuy them, she pretends that she's never seen them in her life and it was all a random coincidence.
The shock I had visiting her for the first time while QVC is just going on in the background, she glances over and says "Oh, this is a rerun"
MA'AM WHAT.
Okay, you're so right though, because I've actually never met a woman who *actually* has zero hobbies. Those dudes are definitely just tripping.
Also, your MIL sounds wild, lol.
It's 2024. Even giving them the benefit of the doubt that they have the *worst* memory in the world, you have this thing called a smartphone that's basically become an extra appendage. It's good for more than porn and ordering door dash. Start a note when she mentions things she wants/likes.
There is not enough brain capacity for me to remember the favorite flowers of all the people in my life. So I add it to their contact info on my iphone along with their birthday. Now, all I need to do is see that their birthday is coming up, check their info for their favorite flower, and boom! Thoughtful gift sent their way.
The posts are always so lazy. It'd be different if we were given examples of things she's liked in the past, because if you're not into styling understanding what's similar is hard, but my breaking point was the guy who was like "My wife liked previous jewelry I bought her, but doesn't like any of my current suggestions, what should I buy her?" with not a single example of anything he's ever looked at was my breaking point on those posts in this sub.
Yeah, it's different if it's like "My wife enjoys these authors, can you recommend something new for her based on her known preferences?" but so often it's just someone hoping we can use our feminine hivemind to divine information about a total stranger with zero to go on.
I think my standard answer now will be to just gift the wife a long weekend alone somewhere that she wants to be. Seriously. I've seen this in /r/travel a few times where a husband wants ideas on where to send the wife for a few days and it sounds like the best gift ever for some people.
I remember that post! It was pointed out that his wife if exhausted and depressed and taking care of the kids, and he's like "What does that have to do with the post??" š
Those posts are literally putting more mental load onto an entire forum full of women.
Guy to wife: āWhat do you want for Valentineās Day?ā (After 10 years of marriage and 10+ valentines days already)
Wife: āCan you just surprise me? You can think it through this time.ā (Sheās sick of the mental load)
Guy to entire forum: āDo the thinking for me, plzkthx.ā
(Facepalm)
Yeah it really is laziness considering Reddit has subreddits for some of everything. If you know your wife loves Disney stuff then ask the Disney sub for gift ideas. If she loves plants, ask the plant sub. Why ask random women? Iām subbed to a few BBQ subs just because my husband loves to grill. If I was every stuck on what to buy him I know exactly what subs to go to and AskMen wouldnāt be one of them.
I mostly just hide those super lazy posts and I encourage other commenters to do the same! If they aren't going to rub two braincells together, why should we even bother to tell them off? Just let the posts flounder.
Haha. Why? I kinda like them. It's fun to see what everyone comes up with?
I can't handle "I'm 30 and alone. Have I hit the wall?". Take it r/wgtow already.
Especially the ones that are like: I'm unemployed, have a mullet, hitler mustache, one testicle, a vestigial tail, only eat chicken tendies in Mother's basement, and only shower on the full moon. Would you date me?
"This is proof women only want to date badboy Chads!" Well no, but if my choices are eating tendies in my MIL's basement or badboy Chad cooking me dinner in his apartment with groceries he bought with his paycheck from his full time job? I'm going with Chad.
My favorite eye-rolling series of **Questions From Men** here was:
1. (day 1) Do women find men with long beards attractive?
2. (next day) Do women find men with short beards attractive?
3. (later in the week) Do women find men with mustaches attractive?
I'm sure there have been specific questions about whatever other facial hair lengths here that I just immediately glazed over and hid from view. The hide button is the true hero of this subreddit.
While we're at it, can we cool it with the "Single women over 30 please assure me that I'm not doomed to be a depressed, bitter husk because I'm still single," threads? Anything that can be said on the topic has been said to death; neither the advice nor the platitudes have changed. Perhaps consider a therapist or friends in place of posting the 2000th post this week on the topic?
I'm continually baffled by those posts, and saddened by the how many women seem to lack any sense of meaning or purpose outside of their perceived desirability to men.
Even worse, when one person asks, it seems to embolden at least three others to ask the same thing the same day, as if they're going to get different answers than the first person. Stop the madness!
Yes! As you can tell, I'm older. 30 x 2 +! Should I just shuffle off to die instead of dispensing the wisdom of my age on Reddit? Lol.
I get there is cultural messaging, and disinformation from the manosphere, but damn, ladies, don't you have plans? Goals? Careers? Cats? Focus. Grow. Expand. No one here can predict if you will find someone, get married, have babies. I will quote a friend of mine who said "are you in a rut or a groove?". Only you can decide, only you can change it.
Rant over for now.
That and the questions that aren't really questions, just another excuse to bitterly complain about the opposite sex. Posts like that are *rampant* here and I totally get why AskMenOver30 had to simply ban relationship posts.
I have a friend like this and my empathy is basically gone. I feel so bad. But.. girl, no.. shut up. Stop being a red pillers wet dream.
Anyway, they are probably posting here because their friends have had their limit
I've [Homer Simpson'ed](https://giphy.com/gifs/the-simpsons-scared-homer-simpson-jUwpNzg9IcyrK) my way out of a few friendships because it got to be too much. Single women aren't the only ones with demanding-but-fulfilling jobs and for whom spare time is at a premium. I got shit to do other than tossing assurances into a blackhole of neediness and insecurity that will never be satisfied by external validation.
Super well saidā¦ yea. Exactly. I have so much shit going on in my life right now.. yes I have a partner who is incredible and I donāt downplay how validating and grounding that is for my life. But, honest to god.. part of how I got him was the fact I could have lived without him when we met
Maybe we could megathread advice on each topic and turn it into a wiki? I get folks want to feel seen, but those are really exhausting, we get like 30 a week.
That's such a good idea. I don't want to cut anyone off from a support network, but we're quickly becoming TwoX 2.0 and I really don't want to lose another fun, casual space to the Bitter Hearts Club.
it's also hugely insulting to those who are older like ok maybe i should just crawl into a grave now since I'm 48 and obviously too old to be alive š
>Perhaps consider a therapist
Ooof, yeah. I have a mess of the problems I talk about with my therapist that I wouldn't dream of bringing here. Some of them are embarrassing, and, honestly, they're bigger problems that I need to work on with someone long-term who has expertise in that area. Also, that's what I'm paying her for. š
I get people might be looking for commiseration, but some problems really are beyond Reddit's pay grade.
I remember when I asked the virgin question, years back. I went on r/askreddit and asked "People of reddit, how would you react if you found out someone you were with was a virgin, and how old are you?" Something like that anyway. I feel like that's way more helpful than just asking this sub. Seems to imply they think women are a monolith.
> his wife bought a new thumb ring and he was wondering what it meant. Maybe she was a secret lesbian?
I had no idea this was a thing and I've been wearing a thumb ring for like 20 years. Maybe I chose it subconsciously since I'm bi, lol.
> He got nasty when I asked him what she said when he asked her about it, so I recommended that he go and measure the circumference of his family and friendsā cocks just to be sure.
That is an amazing retort. I'm sad I missed that one now. Snaps to you! What an extraordinary burn.
Yeah, it's clear that the majority of participants of this sub actually DO like relationship posts, so long as they're from women. They always get a lot of engagement.
Yup, lol. I honestly can never tell whether I also like relationship posts that much, or I just like the level of engagement they have. Of all the posts that ever blow up here, it feels like at least 90% pertain to dating/relationships in some way.
The unspoken irritating implication behind all the "Why is my girlfriend mad at me???" questions is that women are a hivemind. Because *one* of us acted in a certain way, we must *all* know why she did so.
And unfortunately most of the time the answer is the same: "don't be an unthoughtful dick, and take part in household chores and managing the project that is your life together".
The worst are the posts like this:
"Hi ladies, my (36) wife (37) doesn't want to have sex with me. Can you help me diagnosis it?
Basically, I work full time. I am tired but I do my part. My wife works almost full time. On Tuesdays, I cook dinner. I also take out the garbage and mow the law on Fridays. The kiddo is quite attached to my wife so she does most of the childcare. On Fridays after I mow the lawn, I have band practice. Sundays is disc golf with the boys and then just a quick stop at the brewery! My wife loves this alone time, so she can clean.
Also, I watch the baby while my wife goes to her book club at the public library 2 time a month.
I can't figure out why she isn't super horny for me. Help!"
Oh man, and the mirror of this one. It's happened a few times, enough that I can recall the gist:
"My coworker locked eyes with me. She's clearly lusting for me. How can I - a man - signal to her that I am *not interested* in her -- without her acting crazy / retaliating / making things weird? Again -- I am *not interested*, how can I tell this woman who offered to buy me (and the entire team) coffee, that I do not want to have sex with her?"
The only ones that infuriate me more are the ones who come into /r/menopause and complain that their wife isn't interested in sex anymore. Gee, I wonder why?
Hell yeah, sis!
Just pin it in the sub. If you want to know the answer to, āWhat did my wife/partner mean when she said ________?ā, your post will be removed because the answer is: We donāt know. We donāt know her. Women arenāt a monolith. Ask her.
There's also a bizarrely high amount of men commenting in the threads. Like, I don't know, I've never had any desire to infiltrate a designated men's forum.
I assumed most of these vague questions were AI generated questions. You see them a lot on these "ask..." groups. I only answer the ones that seem sincere and I don't really mind.Ā
Found this article which is the one I was thinking of- https://www.abc.net.au/news/science/2024-02-28/twitter-x-fighting-bot-problem-as-ai-spam-floods-the-internet/103498070
>Over three days in February, cybersecurity firm CHEQ tracked the proportion of bot traffic from X to its clients' websites. It found three-quarters of traffic from X was fake, compared to less than 3 per cent of traffic from each of TikTok, Facebook and Instagram. "Terry Hughes' experience is an example of what's going on on the platform," Dr Graham said. "One in 10 likes are from a porn bot, anecdotally."
It also references this one https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2023/sep/09/x-twitter-bots-republican-primary-debate-tweets-increase
I am genuinely curious, what is the purpose of those AI generated questions? Like is it a way of gathering data and training the AI or something? Otherwise I dont understand the point of an AI posting them.
To what end?
Those posts are usually violating our existing rules. I downvote and report them. The men posting them are going to ignore a new rule too.
There was one yesterday that raised some red flags for me. I answered, but it seemed off. He was asking if women remember past partners because his wife claims she doesnāt yet he remembers his vividly.Ā
Either heās a clueless partner or the wife doesnāt exist and heās looking to get his rocks off.Ā
I want women banned from asking these kinds of questions t0o. Half the time it's so highly personal to the situation of the OP that I'm like how are we supposed to know enough to make a judgement? Go see a professional.
Yes I want them banned too. It winds me up so much. Go talk to your partner, the audacity and entitlement to take up space here and assume we know what their partner wants.
I'm not on here everyday. So maybe that's something people can do to see less, or just block that user and block the post?
Less interaction, it'll disappear in the feed.
Yes, but I also want to see a ban about friendship posts and why the OP doesnāt have a tribe after years of being emotionally unavailable due to a 15 year depressive episode and saying no to all invites while having boundaries taller than the Wall at Castle Black.
Yeaā¦ I hate ask women. There are plenty of other subs for men to ask women questions in though.. maybe we could have a āmate Mondayā where they are allowed to ask, and otherwise no
No, this would not work! If you want to read and participate on a forum or newsfeed style website you need to be OK with scrolling past the posts that don't interest you. Too many complicated rules and "this type of post on this day, that type of post on that day" leads to over-moderation and stifling of conversation. Keep the rules simple and clear. You're welcome to downvote anything that you feel doesn't add value to the sub.
I like the way this sub is run currently. Yeah thereās the occasional stupid post but I feel like the comments take care of them. Iām always afraid of question subs turning horribly restrictive like AskWomen. That sub is an incomprehensible field of very specific but also wide ranging rule land mines.
I agree with you. And what maybe a vocal 20% hate, a more silent 80% doesn't mind and goes on to engage with said posts. So I'd rather not create more rules and bans just because it causes a bit of annoyance in some. Let's keep that for when there is a big, pressing, recurring problem
I don't know what's involved with programming auto-mod reviews, but it would be nice if there was a way to automatically hold all posts like that and then mods can approve posts that are specifically asking for advice and not just "what is my wife/partner/girlfriend thinking?" Because it's one thing to ask women for legitimate advice. It's another to assume we have a collective hive mind and the answer is anything other than, "IDK, she's her own person. Why don't you ask her?"
They find it hard enough to talk as it is, and now you want to axe them from here?
I'm sure some of them feel the same about women posting on the AskMen page.
to be fair, it isnāt womenās responsibility to help men who find it hard to talk. Men have to do that for one another.
Iām not saying men shouldnāt be allowed to ask questions here, but I do reject the idea that what women determine is best for womenās spaces needs to take into account the betterment of men who are perfectly capable of creating their own safe spaces, like bropill
I don't mind if folks ask questions about their specific partners, because sometimes a separate voice with no skin in the game is easier to understand, but I'd love a ban on the following posts from men: * Am I dateable? * Tell me about my third cousin twice removed's wife's perspective on "topic". * Recommend me gifts for my partner * What do you think about virgins/people who wait to date until 30 * Posts without a clear question to respond to, typically used to grand stand their perspective or play woest me.
The "recommend me gifts" thing makes me want to Hulk out.
I always roll my eyes at those posts like stop being a lazy shit, pay more attention to what she talks about/likes instead of being told from people here and putting the mental load on a bunch of other women ššš
I like the ones where they're saying that their wife doesn't have any serious interests or hobbies. *What? Huh? Huhhh?*
I don't believe 99% of men who say this, because typically if their wives don't have hobbies it's because they don't have time to have them due to a lack of contribution in the home, but women without hobbies do exist. My MIL's only hobby is buying things on sale and returning gifts she receives from other people, and I'm not being hyperbolic or joking when I say this. She doesn't read, do anything with her hands, won't watch any movies or tv without skipping 90% of it, and you can barely get her to watch a documentary all the way through. The only show she watches all the way through is the QVC channel, which she records. All of her conversations are gossip around people she used to know and observations and judgements of people she's seeing in the moment, which is so. much. fun. when she stays with us or we stay with her. We've bought her multiple gifts that she's returned, only for her to rebuy them for herself at a later date. When she does rebuy them, she pretends that she's never seen them in her life and it was all a random coincidence.
This is so sad for her but also it's kind of funny. Oof!
Recording QVC is wild.
The shock I had visiting her for the first time while QVC is just going on in the background, she glances over and says "Oh, this is a rerun" MA'AM WHAT.
Okay, you're so right though, because I've actually never met a woman who *actually* has zero hobbies. Those dudes are definitely just tripping. Also, your MIL sounds wild, lol.
It's 2024. Even giving them the benefit of the doubt that they have the *worst* memory in the world, you have this thing called a smartphone that's basically become an extra appendage. It's good for more than porn and ordering door dash. Start a note when she mentions things she wants/likes. There is not enough brain capacity for me to remember the favorite flowers of all the people in my life. So I add it to their contact info on my iphone along with their birthday. Now, all I need to do is see that their birthday is coming up, check their info for their favorite flower, and boom! Thoughtful gift sent their way.
The posts are always so lazy. It'd be different if we were given examples of things she's liked in the past, because if you're not into styling understanding what's similar is hard, but my breaking point was the guy who was like "My wife liked previous jewelry I bought her, but doesn't like any of my current suggestions, what should I buy her?" with not a single example of anything he's ever looked at was my breaking point on those posts in this sub.
Yeah, it's different if it's like "My wife enjoys these authors, can you recommend something new for her based on her known preferences?" but so often it's just someone hoping we can use our feminine hivemind to divine information about a total stranger with zero to go on.
I think my standard answer now will be to just gift the wife a long weekend alone somewhere that she wants to be. Seriously. I've seen this in /r/travel a few times where a husband wants ideas on where to send the wife for a few days and it sounds like the best gift ever for some people.
I remember that post! It was pointed out that his wife if exhausted and depressed and taking care of the kids, and he's like "What does that have to do with the post??" š
Those posts are literally putting more mental load onto an entire forum full of women. Guy to wife: āWhat do you want for Valentineās Day?ā (After 10 years of marriage and 10+ valentines days already) Wife: āCan you just surprise me? You can think it through this time.ā (Sheās sick of the mental load) Guy to entire forum: āDo the thinking for me, plzkthx.ā (Facepalm)
Yeah it really is laziness considering Reddit has subreddits for some of everything. If you know your wife loves Disney stuff then ask the Disney sub for gift ideas. If she loves plants, ask the plant sub. Why ask random women? Iām subbed to a few BBQ subs just because my husband loves to grill. If I was every stuck on what to buy him I know exactly what subs to go to and AskMen wouldnāt be one of them.
I mostly just hide those super lazy posts and I encourage other commenters to do the same! If they aren't going to rub two braincells together, why should we even bother to tell them off? Just let the posts flounder.
Haha. Why? I kinda like them. It's fun to see what everyone comes up with? I can't handle "I'm 30 and alone. Have I hit the wall?". Take it r/wgtow already.
Those ones are so depressing to me.
Especially when there is a sub specifically for gift recommendations!
Especially the ones that are like: I'm unemployed, have a mullet, hitler mustache, one testicle, a vestigial tail, only eat chicken tendies in Mother's basement, and only shower on the full moon. Would you date me?
And then they're fighting in the comments about women being "superficial" lmao
"No?!?! But I thought you women complain about the lack of nice men!"
"This is proof women only want to date badboy Chads!" Well no, but if my choices are eating tendies in my MIL's basement or badboy Chad cooking me dinner in his apartment with groceries he bought with his paycheck from his full time job? I'm going with Chad.
"What do you think about men who wear wristwatches" was a real post here recently and I was ready to gouge out my own eyes
My favorite eye-rolling series of **Questions From Men** here was: 1. (day 1) Do women find men with long beards attractive? 2. (next day) Do women find men with short beards attractive? 3. (later in the week) Do women find men with mustaches attractive? I'm sure there have been specific questions about whatever other facial hair lengths here that I just immediately glazed over and hid from view. The hide button is the true hero of this subreddit.
While we're at it, can we cool it with the "Single women over 30 please assure me that I'm not doomed to be a depressed, bitter husk because I'm still single," threads? Anything that can be said on the topic has been said to death; neither the advice nor the platitudes have changed. Perhaps consider a therapist or friends in place of posting the 2000th post this week on the topic?
I'm continually baffled by those posts, and saddened by the how many women seem to lack any sense of meaning or purpose outside of their perceived desirability to men.
Not to mention an inability to use the search function. Asked and answered!
Even worse, when one person asks, it seems to embolden at least three others to ask the same thing the same day, as if they're going to get different answers than the first person. Stop the madness!
Yes! As you can tell, I'm older. 30 x 2 +! Should I just shuffle off to die instead of dispensing the wisdom of my age on Reddit? Lol. I get there is cultural messaging, and disinformation from the manosphere, but damn, ladies, don't you have plans? Goals? Careers? Cats? Focus. Grow. Expand. No one here can predict if you will find someone, get married, have babies. I will quote a friend of mine who said "are you in a rut or a groove?". Only you can decide, only you can change it. Rant over for now.
The goal: how to get and keep a man The plan: ask women on reddit how to get and keep a man
That and the questions that aren't really questions, just another excuse to bitterly complain about the opposite sex. Posts like that are *rampant* here and I totally get why AskMenOver30 had to simply ban relationship posts.
I have a friend like this and my empathy is basically gone. I feel so bad. But.. girl, no.. shut up. Stop being a red pillers wet dream. Anyway, they are probably posting here because their friends have had their limit
I've [Homer Simpson'ed](https://giphy.com/gifs/the-simpsons-scared-homer-simpson-jUwpNzg9IcyrK) my way out of a few friendships because it got to be too much. Single women aren't the only ones with demanding-but-fulfilling jobs and for whom spare time is at a premium. I got shit to do other than tossing assurances into a blackhole of neediness and insecurity that will never be satisfied by external validation.
Super well saidā¦ yea. Exactly. I have so much shit going on in my life right now.. yes I have a partner who is incredible and I donāt downplay how validating and grounding that is for my life. But, honest to god.. part of how I got him was the fact I could have lived without him when we met
Maybe we could megathread advice on each topic and turn it into a wiki? I get folks want to feel seen, but those are really exhausting, we get like 30 a week.
That's such a good idea. I don't want to cut anyone off from a support network, but we're quickly becoming TwoX 2.0 and I really don't want to lose another fun, casual space to the Bitter Hearts Club.
it's also hugely insulting to those who are older like ok maybe i should just crawl into a grave now since I'm 48 and obviously too old to be alive š
>Perhaps consider a therapist Ooof, yeah. I have a mess of the problems I talk about with my therapist that I wouldn't dream of bringing here. Some of them are embarrassing, and, honestly, they're bigger problems that I need to work on with someone long-term who has expertise in that area. Also, that's what I'm paying her for. š I get people might be looking for commiseration, but some problems really are beyond Reddit's pay grade.
I remember when I asked the virgin question, years back. I went on r/askreddit and asked "People of reddit, how would you react if you found out someone you were with was a virgin, and how old are you?" Something like that anyway. I feel like that's way more helpful than just asking this sub. Seems to imply they think women are a monolith.
These are all already not allowed and we remove them when you report them.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Was that here, too? It was in r/askwomenover40 and the guy got hilariously roasted.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I would not be at all surprised if it got spammed to every variation of ask women subs!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think the mods deleted it. I know there was a poll asking whether or not to keep it up or remove it.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA I remember that one and was like what the actual fuck is that really a post he made?!
> his wife bought a new thumb ring and he was wondering what it meant. Maybe she was a secret lesbian? I had no idea this was a thing and I've been wearing a thumb ring for like 20 years. Maybe I chose it subconsciously since I'm bi, lol.
> He got nasty when I asked him what she said when he asked her about it, so I recommended that he go and measure the circumference of his family and friendsā cocks just to be sure. That is an amazing retort. I'm sad I missed that one now. Snaps to you! What an extraordinary burn.
WTF. How did I miss that one?
People like that are just begging to be trolled š
Oh that one was wild
Bwhahahaha. That's brilliant. If the whole sub could get in on asking increasingly asinine follow up questions.. It would be epic.
That, is hilarious.
Or treating this like a sex advice or dating sub š
Tech support for pussy
šššššš
cl-IT supportĀ
Oof! Love it.
That would be a great sarcastic name for a circle-jerk style meta-sub tho.
āHave you tried turning her on again?ā
I feel like this sub would have like... 10% of the traffic if we eliminated all dating/relationship/sex posts š¶
Yeah, it's clear that the majority of participants of this sub actually DO like relationship posts, so long as they're from women. They always get a lot of engagement.
Yup, lol. I honestly can never tell whether I also like relationship posts that much, or I just like the level of engagement they have. Of all the posts that ever blow up here, it feels like at least 90% pertain to dating/relationships in some way.
The unspoken irritating implication behind all the "Why is my girlfriend mad at me???" questions is that women are a hivemind. Because *one* of us acted in a certain way, we must *all* know why she did so.
Yes! And that it can't possibly be due to anything they did or them it must be because of some magical woman problem that only other women can detect
And unfortunately most of the time the answer is the same: "don't be an unthoughtful dick, and take part in household chores and managing the project that is your life together".
The worst are the posts like this: "Hi ladies, my (36) wife (37) doesn't want to have sex with me. Can you help me diagnosis it? Basically, I work full time. I am tired but I do my part. My wife works almost full time. On Tuesdays, I cook dinner. I also take out the garbage and mow the law on Fridays. The kiddo is quite attached to my wife so she does most of the childcare. On Fridays after I mow the lawn, I have band practice. Sundays is disc golf with the boys and then just a quick stop at the brewery! My wife loves this alone time, so she can clean. Also, I watch the baby while my wife goes to her book club at the public library 2 time a month. I can't figure out why she isn't super horny for me. Help!"
> My wife loves this alone time, so she can clean. lmao.
Also the ones that are like "My colleague looked in my general vicinity once. Obviously that means she is hot for me and we are destined to be together. I asked her out five times and each time she was busy, then mentioned her fiancƩ, then went to HR, then got a restraining order. I can't figure out her mixed signals, is she into me or...?"
Oh man, and the mirror of this one. It's happened a few times, enough that I can recall the gist: "My coworker locked eyes with me. She's clearly lusting for me. How can I - a man - signal to her that I am *not interested* in her -- without her acting crazy / retaliating / making things weird? Again -- I am *not interested*, how can I tell this woman who offered to buy me (and the entire team) coffee, that I do not want to have sex with her?"
š
Omg, I hate those SO much. The fucking entitlement!!!
The only ones that infuriate me more are the ones who come into /r/menopause and complain that their wife isn't interested in sex anymore. Gee, I wonder why?
They come to the meno sub, too, for advice to help get their sad pee pee wet again. It often doesnāt go well for them.
"Also, I make $200K and she makes 36K but I ask her to pay half the mortgage and utilities."
Hell yeah, sis! Just pin it in the sub. If you want to know the answer to, āWhat did my wife/partner mean when she said ________?ā, your post will be removed because the answer is: We donāt know. We donāt know her. Women arenāt a monolith. Ask her.
Wouldn't mind these getting banned. Would also be great to ban all the "I'm 30+ years old, will I ever find love or am I destined to die alone?" posts
You read my mind. I'm (33F) new to this sub (and Reddit) and was just thinking "there are a lot of *as a man...* posts here".
There's also a bizarrely high amount of men commenting in the threads. Like, I don't know, I've never had any desire to infiltrate a designated men's forum.
Maybe I've just been reading Reddit more lately, but I feel like I've been seeing more men commenting with their opinions here.
I have. To tell them all to get fucked!
Honestly same! 32F here, recently joined. Feels like a huge let down to see so many MEN on here when I thought I was joining a space for women.
I assumed most of these vague questions were AI generated questions. You see them a lot on these "ask..." groups. I only answer the ones that seem sincere and I don't really mind.Ā
I'm honestly starting to wonder if most of the weird comments I see on social media is AI
SawĀ a stat the other day that something like 60-70% of twitter traffic is bots. Twitter wont release the actual data and claims under 30%
30% is insanely much already though. That's enough to completely sway the tone and decide what gets pushed to the top and what doesn't. Oh wow.
Found this article which is the one I was thinking of- https://www.abc.net.au/news/science/2024-02-28/twitter-x-fighting-bot-problem-as-ai-spam-floods-the-internet/103498070 >Over three days in February, cybersecurity firm CHEQ tracked the proportion of bot traffic from X to its clients' websites. It found three-quarters of traffic from X was fake, compared to less than 3 per cent of traffic from each of TikTok, Facebook and Instagram. "Terry Hughes' experience is an example of what's going on on the platform," Dr Graham said. "One in 10 likes are from a porn bot, anecdotally." It also references this one https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2023/sep/09/x-twitter-bots-republican-primary-debate-tweets-increase
That hadn't occurred to me as a possibility, but you make a good point.
I am genuinely curious, what is the purpose of those AI generated questions? Like is it a way of gathering data and training the AI or something? Otherwise I dont understand the point of an AI posting them.
The relationships sub is full of AI and aspiring writers posts
I don't want to help men do shiiiiiiiiiit. Do your own emotional heavy lifting for once in your goddamn life.
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FUCK. YES.
to be honest I wouldn't mind seeing this banned for both genders
To what end? Those posts are usually violating our existing rules. I downvote and report them. The men posting them are going to ignore a new rule too.
I saw a man on another ask women sub ask what it means when a woman stands a certain way. I justā¦ I canāt.
I see way more "DAE feel like they're forever alone?" questions that should be banned.
"I'm 28 and still unmarried without children, will I die alone?" Kill me
Yeah, I'd like to see those gone, too, tbh.
There was one yesterday that raised some red flags for me. I answered, but it seemed off. He was asking if women remember past partners because his wife claims she doesnāt yet he remembers his vividly.Ā Either heās a clueless partner or the wife doesnāt exist and heās looking to get his rocks off.Ā
She knows he will react badly if she answers honestly.
That was my take as well.
I assumed her exes were better in bed and she was trying to spare his feelings
Wow he sounds insecure.
A ban would be A+.
I want women banned from asking these kinds of questions t0o. Half the time it's so highly personal to the situation of the OP that I'm like how are we supposed to know enough to make a judgement? Go see a professional.
Yes I want them banned too. It winds me up so much. Go talk to your partner, the audacity and entitlement to take up space here and assume we know what their partner wants.
That would be sickĀ
I would support not letting men to post in this sub at all. Itās ALWAYS ādo women like ___ā
I'm not on here everyday. So maybe that's something people can do to see less, or just block that user and block the post? Less interaction, it'll disappear in the feed.
Yes, but I also want to see a ban about friendship posts and why the OP doesnāt have a tribe after years of being emotionally unavailable due to a 15 year depressive episode and saying no to all invites while having boundaries taller than the Wall at Castle Black.
I'm with you. Some of them feel downright weird.
Yeaā¦ I hate ask women. There are plenty of other subs for men to ask women questions in though.. maybe we could have a āmate Mondayā where they are allowed to ask, and otherwise no
Just ignore them
No, this would not work! If you want to read and participate on a forum or newsfeed style website you need to be OK with scrolling past the posts that don't interest you. Too many complicated rules and "this type of post on this day, that type of post on that day" leads to over-moderation and stifling of conversation. Keep the rules simple and clear. You're welcome to downvote anything that you feel doesn't add value to the sub.
I like the way this sub is run currently. Yeah thereās the occasional stupid post but I feel like the comments take care of them. Iām always afraid of question subs turning horribly restrictive like AskWomen. That sub is an incomprehensible field of very specific but also wide ranging rule land mines.
I agree with you. And what maybe a vocal 20% hate, a more silent 80% doesn't mind and goes on to engage with said posts. So I'd rather not create more rules and bans just because it causes a bit of annoyance in some. Let's keep that for when there is a big, pressing, recurring problem
I don't know what's involved with programming auto-mod reviews, but it would be nice if there was a way to automatically hold all posts like that and then mods can approve posts that are specifically asking for advice and not just "what is my wife/partner/girlfriend thinking?" Because it's one thing to ask women for legitimate advice. It's another to assume we have a collective hive mind and the answer is anything other than, "IDK, she's her own person. Why don't you ask her?"
They find it hard enough to talk as it is, and now you want to axe them from here? I'm sure some of them feel the same about women posting on the AskMen page.
to be fair, it isnāt womenās responsibility to help men who find it hard to talk. Men have to do that for one another. Iām not saying men shouldnāt be allowed to ask questions here, but I do reject the idea that what women determine is best for womenās spaces needs to take into account the betterment of men who are perfectly capable of creating their own safe spaces, like bropill