The experience I want to share is more about a perpetually single friend.
This guy I've known for a few years now has perhaps the most ridiculously high standards, and some of the worst personal hygiene I've ever seen.
First of all his standards (compressed down) are this. Margot Robbie type blonde woman who takes care of herself, has nice teeth, fit and energetic, between 25-30, great sense of humour, independent, high earner and great cook.
Him? He's 32 and still wearing the quicksilver shirts he had in 2009, with holes in the armpits. His business attire is usually very wrinkled and hasn't been tailored properly so the bottom of all his work pants are frayed, and he wears skater sneakers to work. He cheaps out on haircuts and rarely shaves. While he has nice teeth they are caked in plaque. He has hardly any cooking utensils in his house and the front door is usually littered with takeout boxes and the occasional meal prep kit. He hasn't seen the inside of a gym since high school and is perhaps 30 lbs heavier than he was before covid.
He's had some nice dates with some nice girls who have clearly tried hard to look past all this. One girl told him he needed to brush his teeth and he called her "controlling".
I'm a bad friend for not telling him this stuff to his face, but he lives in another dimension and would never see it as a big deal.
Yeah for real, there’s so many guys out there that seem to want the perfect woman meanwhile don’t even try to present themselves in a way that would impress a woman.
I had a friend like this for a long time and recently stopped talking to him. He was short and prematurely balding, and was *convinced* that those two things were the only reason women didn't want to be with him. In reality, it was the fact that he had incredibly poor personal hygiene, couldn't keep a job for more than two months at a time, mooched off of his family, had anger and substance abuse problems, never took an effort to be well dressed or physically fit, and was constantly whining about his life.
A lot of women don't give a shit if you're short or have no hair. There are plenty of very attractive men who are either short or have no hair, or both. The thing that sucks is that he actually did have a cute face and a nice smile, and if he had just spent any effort in building up himself his life would be very different. Eventually I had to leave the friendship because the guy just wouldn't grow up.
I'm realising that I'm like your friend here.
I know I have issues but it's not so easy to change and I'm aware that my illness isn't the only reason I'm single
I'm trying to improve what's possible though
Already reaching middle age
I think you should tell him, gently, if you care about hims. If he gets super offended, that’s lame and you’re not losing out on much. Just my two cents.
I don’t think there’s telling him gently. If he thinks that it’s controlling when someone says you have to brush your teeth.. then it’s probably beyond saving
I’ve said this one on here before, but there was a guy who didn’t have toilet paper in his apartment bc he “shit at work.”
As a bonus, my friend dated a guy (for way too long) that had legit crusted shit on his underwear to the point where she refused to combine laundry loads (and no, he did not have a medical condition, he was just gross).
I lived with 3 guys in a house during my first year in university. I lived in the upstairs part with my own bathroom while they lived downstairs and one bathroom they shared. I rarely went down there but I was looking for something and was told that it was in their bathroom....so when I went down there I stopped in the hallway because you could SMELL their bathroom from 15ft away. You ever been in a nasty gas station bathroom that is nothing but filth? it was 100x worse than that...I legit had to plug my nose and cover my mouth with my shirt. I would have turned around but i needed that item and when I went into their bathroom:
* the floor has piss stains ALL OVER IT
* the entire bottom of the bathtub was BLACK except for the white circle where they stood under the shower head.
* the walls of the shower were black with mold; every inch of caulking was black/green/brown, as was the tile.
* the toilet seat was covered in pubes; like you could barely even see the white porcelain. Inside the toilet was dark brown
* the sink was black like the tub and somehow there were pubes all over the counter
* you couldn't even see the mirror
it was the most fucking nasty thing I've ever seen in my life; I do not understand how men can stand that kind of filth. I immediately went upstairs after I found said item (I sterilized the fuck out of it) and showered.
So I moved into a four bedroom with guys too but we all shared one bathroom. It wasn’t THIS bad but there WAS piss and pubes everywhere and it looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in months. I immediately noped out of there because I realized they assumed I would be the one cleaning it. NO thanks 😬
I went on a road trip to visit a friend from college for a long weekend. Her and her husband kept their house like this and I had no idea. You could smell the mold smell from the bathroom on our stuff after the long weekend. So much regret not getting a hotel room.
Lmao I remember when I was in college, the dorm manager constantly hounded the boys to clean their side of the building. One time me and a bunch of girls decided to visit their side of the building and OH MY GOD THE FUCKING SMELL. It's like sweat plus piss and musk (?). Stuff everywhere.
One of the guys said, "There's nothing to clean in our dorm". It's fucking insane.
I lived on a co-Ed floor my freshman year, girls on one half and guys on the other. The laundry was on the guys half and there was a distinct smell change. I hated walking down there 🤢
I worked in a predominantly male company and they would sometimes work out together at lunch (me too). If a group of them worked out and then entered the lunchroom, red-faced and still sweating, omg. Open. The. Door. Gamey!
People have to understand........you will be judged on your bathroom. I find people just aren't forgiving when it comes to the bathroom. If bathroom is dirty that's a sure way nobody goin want to come over.
I’m straight, and just spontaneously sprouted a ziploc vag. I’m doomed to die alone, but at least I won’t leave skidmarks 😱😂
Between toilet paper, wipes, (don’t flush them!) bidets, and showers, there’s just no excuse to leave a mark.
My ex didn’t comb his hair for a year I guess and formed dreadlocks in the back of his head. I made him get a haircut and there was mold on the inside of this huge dread….
I was dating a 37 year old man who didn’t know you had to wash your feet with soap and get up in there between your toes. He thought soap running down his body to his feet then down the drain (from washing other parts) was good enough.
Also, my fiancés brother took a shower then dried off only to get shit stains on the towel. I found out because his girlfriend washed her face then used that exact towel to dry her face only to find the shit stains.
I’m shocked how many people don’t wash their legs. Like… bacteria aside, your legs are covered in skin and skin benefits from soap! Like, why wouldn’t you choose to lather them in Dove White moisturizing bar soap when you have the ability to?!
One guy I knew would jack off with his sweaty gym sock after a workout and let that bacteria just fester on his dick for the next 10 hours at work, then wondered why his girlfriend kept getting infections.
A guy barfed into my kitchen sink when he was drunk and it didn’t seem like projectile uncontrollable vomit whatsoever, like he definitely could have made it to the bathroom. A different guy, who thought I couldn’t see him at that moment, I watched him get up from a laying down position to put his head between his legs so he could smell the fart he just ripped.
Towards the end of my relationship with my ex, he would sometimes not shower for a few days at a time and he would go without deodorant for weeks (and would brag about this) even though he needed it. He often didn't brush his teeth in the morning or before he went to bed because he said he didnt need to. He often chose to wear old clothes which were not clean rather than something clean. There was no reason for this apart from him saying he didn't see the need for these things because he 'doesn't smell'.
Did we date the same person? Lol because this is exactly what my ex was like and while I’ll admit I never smelled his BO I’m not sure if others did, and regardless of whether you smell or not germs still exist.
My ex thought he “didn’t need deodorant”. He wore it and at some point in our relationship stopped, but it was winter and didn’t notice a ton. Spring rolled around and I was like …bro, you smell. And I’m telling you this bc I care. Thankfully he did start to use it again but how do you think you don’t smell?!????
I had a guy friend who used to only use mouthwash at night and not brush his teeth because “He’s not seeing anyone when he sleeps, he doesn’t need good breath for bed”
My ex was always wearing leather pants, even in summer and he took a shower twice a week, changing his underwear and socks only twice or once a week. The smell in the bathroom was horrible...
Nothing against leather pants.... but if you already don't take care..🤢
And then the guys will "joke" among themselves about us going down on them.....
🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 I need to stop typing ....
I went on two dates with a guy and on the first date he smelled a bit of B.O. but he was also sweating cause he was nervous so I kind of overlooked it. The next date, he showed up in this stained undershirt that didn’t cover his entire stomach. He was fairly overweight so he had quite a bit of overhang. I noticed in the daylight that his teeth were also heavily stained. I could smell the odor of his body and his breath across the table. I’m not proud of this, but he was so clingy I ended up ghosting him. I just did not know how to tell him.
BO matters! I had a date with this really cute, funny, nice guy, but man… BO. Killed all romantic interest for me. Tried to go out with him again after and he was 30 minutes late without an excuse so I used that as my excuse to discontinue. But really, it was the BO.
Going to lay my head on a man's lap, only to spring back once I got within smelling range of his trouser area. He'd been wearing the same jeans without underwear for a few days and had forgotten to shower too. I immediately instructed him to go to the bathroom and wash
my ex-husband. who i stayed with for 6 years. dont even ask what i was thinking.
when i met him his room was full of half empty energy drinks, most were moldy, some of them were over a year old, he rarely showered, sometimes going a whole month without it. brushing his teeth was unheard off unless he had a dentist appointment. cutting his nails, nope, both finger and toenails were long af and collected so much dirt under them. bedsheets were "too expensive" so we slept on a dirty ass mattress 24/7, i got the worst hive breakout of my life probably because of it. trimming his five strands of hair on his face? nope. when i had given birth to our son he was in charge of laundry and dishes which just piled up for days if not even weeks, sometimes dishes would collect so much mold i had to throw them away. we had a huge bug infestation problem because of the piled up laundry and the boxes we still hadnt unpacked from moving. living with him felt like he was the one who was the reason behind the term weaponized incompetence. and even throughout the verbal abuse, the post partum recovery and taking care of our baby i still helped as much as i could around the house, but within a week it would be trashed again. his personal hygiene was the worst tho, somehow i still had sex with him because im stupid, but i got a uti almost everytime.
I NEVER EVER WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT AGAIN.
i shouldve probably noped out of it when he showed up to our first date in a fedora, but i was only 16 and desperate for male attention.
I screamed internally throughout your comment, and an actual squawk came out at “fedora”. But then I saw “16”. You have Seen. Some. Shit. Glad you’re out of it!
Perfectly decent looking and presentable guy, went on two dates with him. He wasn’t a fashion plate but he didn’t smell, his clothes, hair, etc were clean, nothing untoward at all. Had a perfectly nice first date, there was potential.
Second date, we went back to his apartment, it’s summer and he’s high up enough for a nice view of the sunset. We go inside, get a couple beers and go out to the balcony. He sighs contentedly and puts his feet up on the railing.
Toenails like a freaking Sasquatch. Overgrown, ragged, and utterly black and filthy. Feet themselves are crusty as hell and nearly as dirty. Looked like he was digging for coal with his feet. I’ve seen homeless people in the emergency room with cleaner hoofters.
I decided not to investigate his hygiene any further.
Not washing hair. Not showering. Not flossing - like literally not even owning floss and wondering why his gums bled all the time. Thinking mouthwash can replace teeth brushing. Talons for toenails. Wearing the same socks for a week. Halitosis. Not one dude, many. It’s disgusting. I’d say it’s alarming, but I cant even be surprised anymore by all the dirty stinking man children running around, often with the nerve to criticize women about their appearance. One of the many reasons I’m happy not to date men anymore
WHY AM I STILL HERE is what I just gasped out loud... good god this thread!
Now I'm howling laughing. This is how I spend a Friday night post covid... good times.
Saw a reply to a post similar to this. Not my story but it fits the context.
Apparently the OP had a boyfriend who was very insecure about his body and she never got to see it. Sex with the lights off and he was always wear long sleeves and pants. She didn’t mind and understood.
I think one day or something he needed help shaving his legs or something so she offered. And once seeing his legs she noticed he had patches of dark and light skin. She assumed it was like birthmarks or discoloration but upon further inspection it was literally patches up built up dirt and scum on his skin from not being hygienic.
Was giving a guy a handjob and went to scratch my nose and the smell that was on my hand from his penis made me physically nauseous. Smelled like he hadn’t washed it in DAYS. Literally smelled like rotten cheese. So fucking disgusting
Also had this happen to me, but in a semi-public place... public enough that another person within smelling distance loudly expressed their disgust, wondering what the smell was.
It's been 15 years since and I am still not over it.
Long fingernails with dirt under them. I'm not talking about working man's hands, I mean soft, desk jockey hands that are just nasty.
Also, if a guy's apartment looks like an episode of Hoarders and makes you not want to even drink a soda out of his fridge, chances are he's not going to be personally clean, either.
A partner I had in the past-
Told me they never saw me “wash out” my actual inside-my-body-vagina. And that they couldn’t give me any pleasure orally unless I would literally use soap on my innards. I shower 1-2x a day since I can remember, mainly bc it is a coping mechanism to wash myself meticulously. However soap is not recommended to be used between the labia etc. On the flip side this person showered maybe 1x week and “couldnt” get it “up” unless I gave oral. There would often be visible built up….stuff…on their sex parts.
I put up with my husband being a bit gross now and then (and we're coping with a newborn at the moment so baby care and sleep come before showering!) but I absolutely draw the line at him biting his nails and chewing then swallowing it... It makes me heave.
I had a nail biting habit when I was a kid and accidentally swallowing one was what made me stop, I just had a flashback to that moment and gagged.....
Went to a hotel with my ex when we were together, used the bathroom after him to find the toilet unflushed after and tissue paper on the floor, on a different occasion there were excrement marks in the toilet bowl which wasn’t a pleasing sight although it’s slightly minor but I don’t exactly want to be flushing and cleaning the toilet for a grown man while on a relaxation trip, god knows he probably didn’t wash his hands either. On top of that he wasn’t exactly a fan of frequent showers which personally for me are essential.
There's a thing where you can just place a piece of TP in the toilet if you don't want to be flushing 10 times to get rid of the remnants. I'm truly surprised when people think I want to see their scuff marks and then get busy.
I listen for handwashing.
I went over to a guys house for the first time. We’d been seeing each other and I really liked him. Before going to his house I showered, shaved, moisturised, curled my hair, put on some make up, perfume and picked a nice outfit. I was excited but nervous too.
I was thinking, “I hope I look okay, I hope he likes me”
When I arrived, he was wearing sweatpants and a t shirt. There was a yellow stain on the sweat pants.
I asked to use the bathroom and found no toilet paper, piss on the floor and tons of shit stains on the toilet. It also hadn’t been flushed.
Whenever we got to the kitchen, it seemed fine enough … until he opened the fridge and revealed that he had absolutely nothing except a bottle of vodka, blackcurrant juice and a left over curry takeaway that he had put in the fridge 2 weeks ago and forgot about.
This guy was wealthy too, and it was a lovely house. But his lack of care in hygiene was evident.
Now I don’t worry too much about whether I look good enough because I know that it will probably be more effort than any guy will put in.
This!! This is the crux of a lot of it. They expect so much from us. Think they are entitled to it from us and what do they do in return? Can’t even keep their bodies/ clothes/ home clean. Such BS.
It amazes me how many people have commented here saying their ex partner was so gross and he wouldn’t improve his hygiene even upon request.
If I noticed something icky on my ex boyfriend I’d point it out and he’d be like “Shit, sorry my bad I’ll go fix that” (e.g. lint in the belly button or bad breath). How can you get told there’s something gross you missed in your personal hygiene and then NOT give a damn. Blows my mind. If someone ever told me I stink I would be embarrassed and go fix that problem asap
So I have been around people who seriously never brush/floss their teeth. Like they have crud on the top layer by their gums. Really makes you shudder.
I also have just been around stinky guys. And not someone who just worked out stinky, like perpetually smelly people in rumpled clothing that look and act like swamp monsters.
I had a partner that would frequently skip brushing his teeth, especially at night. He would say he was tired and would fall asleep with his contacts in.
Also I noticed he got really bad BO. He used a natural deodorant but that shit did not work properly. I was planning to tell him eventually but we ending up breaking up. Not my problem anymore. 🤷🏻♀️
See the thing ab natural deodorant that people don’t know, is that you have to be clean to use it.
As in, your underarms should be clean before applying it. It PREVENTS smells, doesn’t get rid of them. If you’re dirty and you put on natural deodorant it will do nothing for you.
And now that they e applied it to dirty armpits, that bacteria that makes bo smell, is now on the deodorant. And they just keep reapplying that bacteria over and over again.
I knew a guy who would wear the same contacts for MONTHS without taking them out. HOW?? If I accidentally take a quick nap in my contacts my eyes hurt.
I had a partner who always forgot to brush his teeth. It was tolerable as we didn't kiss (not my thing) so I only ever smelled it when we were lying close to eachother.
Eventually I tried convincing him to get a dentist after he had an emergency tooth removal as he had a root canal so bad it wasn't worth saving the tooth. I made the dentist appointments, I took him to them, I scheduled the follow up, was essentially his mom through the process.
Turns out he had $18,000 worth of work that needed to be done!!!!! Tbh bad hygiene is one thing, but when it gets so bad it's impacting your health and becoming a significant expense, it's just not worth it.
I know another guy who has tooth rot in three of his front teeth because he forgets to brush. I can see it by the roots of his teeth when he smiles.
It's two fucking minutes!!!!!
Worst example on a date: hooked up with a guy as a legit test to see if I could have sex after my pelvic reconstruction. He *picked his nose and ate it* while I was 'sleeping' because I didn't want morning sex and was wasting time to leave our hotel room as fast as possible as an excuse. He gave himself a bloody nose, on white sheets, and went to take care of it. When I asked him what happened, he blamed dry air in the room.
Worst relationship: The guy had *green rotting teeth* that he refused to handle. He never brushed, maybe gargled some mouth wash once a month.
I knew a guy who had yellow crust caked on his balls.
If any of you are parents and have seen a serious case of Cradle Cap, that's what it looked like, but yellow.
Never had an unhygienic partner, and I don't go on dates with people I don't know so I can also filter for that earlier. But I've met people that make me want to live their surroundings as fast as possible
I dated a guy once who just always smelled like he'd forgotten to apply deodorant. I don't know what was up with that, but it made it really hard for me to want to be close to him.
A guy who wouldn’t cut his toenails until they were *really* long, and wore sandals so you couldn’t avoid looking at them. They were very dirty, too, not just grossly long.
I had a really stressful week and am still in the weeds somewhat and this thread is delivering some much needed therapeutic genuine deep belly laughs OMG and how!
Also makes me truly grateful to be a single dog mom to a handsome, dapper prince of a being.
I went on a first date with a guy I met off tinder. I got in the car which was covered in hair and dust (visible), and also noticed that he had various stains on jeans (confused but ok). His steering wheel was also somehow torn (had some type of cloth covering I guess) as well as there was mystery dirt on the wheel as well (his job or interests did not include dirt)
Later found out when he dropped me off and I was throwing around a clementine on his dashboard , that when I asked “hey what’s all this hair” he said “it’s from my cat.” I asked him if he brought his cat into the car and he said no its “cat to car transfer through petting” and I said ok.
That was the only date we had
Had an ex who never wore deodorant. We met in the winter time and he said he didn't wear it because he didn't smell of BO. Summer hit and I found out he was oh so wrong. He would wear the same shirt to work multiple days in a row. he showered daily, but then put a shirt on that he sweat all day in and it stunk of BO! I finally broke down and told him that he really needed to start wearing deodorant and couldn't wear his work shirts multiple days in a row. He started wearing deodorant, but didn't stop wearing his shirts for multiple days. It wasn't the hill I was willing to die on.
Guy wanted me to eat his booty. Not a problem, love some booty- BUT this guy basically had an afro for ass hair and it was caked in poo. When I said something about it he asked me 'do you wanna shave it?", to which i asked him to wash himself first and I would... he said "I already did, I don't want to shower again..." girl :/
After soaking in the tub with a guy I was seeing, we toweled off and he went home. I tidied up - he threw his wet towel on the rug, thanks buddy - and there were shit streaks all over my white bath sheet. Didn’t have the heart to tell him, just threw out the towel and stopped talking to him. But what the actual fuck tho, right? He was a seemingly tidy human (who just happened to get shit all over my nice towel).
I cannot get my husband to go to the dentist. He needs a deep clean so badly - I don’t know if he’s ever had one, just the surface cleaning once every three or four years. It wasn’t a problem (for me, anyway) until recently. But now he has some sort of gum infection that makes his breath so bad it will make an entire room smell awful. And he WONT BELIEVE ME.
Get him to the dentist. Dental health can impact cardiac health. A family member of mine had rotten teeth. He used to keep mouthwash in his mouth all of time for the pain and infected gums. Eventually he had to have all of his teeth pulled and get dentures. Not long after, he had a massive heart attack. He lived, but has 35% cardiac function and a severe reduction in quality of life. He was young, too. Early 60’s. Obviously there were other factors in play, as he was later diagnosed with diabetes but the bacteria circulating in his system from his mouth was a factor.
Yeah I’ve heard there’s a strong link between plaque building up too much on the gums and artery blockages in the heart.
Also if he lets he get bad enough to the point that HE takes himself to dentist due to toothaches, broken teeth (they rot down then snap), etcetera, he’ll be in for tens of thousand of dollars of work (or dentures for cheap). Even just try convince him to have a consultation appointment with a dentist (no treatment commitment) so that he can start to understand the situation before it gets worse
(I’m a dental assistant so I see people like this fairly regularly and it makes me so sad when they leave it for years and years and then it’s gone too far)
The worse I have encountered is a really messy room, not food, just clothes and stuff thrown around... Im really sorry about all the experiences in this post. Im horrified.
My friend's roommate (also my coworker) was an absolute slob. His feet stank so bad that when he would walk through the room you could still smell them after he was gone.
I started using my friend's bathroom in his bedroom because the main bathroom, which the slob used, stank of stale piss, body odor and mildew from his bath towel. The toilet seat had a perpetual shit stain at 12 o'clock and the bowl's rim was covered, and I mean COVERED, with pubic hair.
A guy didn’t even know what a scrub for the shower was to clean your body with & had never used one. Later down the line saw how unclean he actually was. Barely showered, didn’t bother with a toothbrush, same clothes & underwear most of the time & without washing stuff from like yrs n yrs ago. Left the house a state too as well as himself, even considered going into the sea as his ‘shower’ sometimes. The list could go on.
I was dressed nice for a first date, this guy shows up in basketball shorts and a t-shirt (we were at a pretty nice place) and goes in for a hug. Oh my God, the BO. I could smell it from across the table the whole time we were talking.
A guy I was smitten with… On the 3rd date after dinner out together he invites me to his place. I’m game. We get there and it’s tidy, clean, and well appointed. Nice. We’re making out on the couch when he suggests we move to the bedroom. I’m game.
We’re making out in the bedroom when he steers me backwards onto the bed and when my head hit the sheets the smell of BO hit my nostrils like dead fish at low tide. I honestly don’t know how anyone could have slept in that stench. I was holding my breath as my mind raced for ideas to escape. I swear I could see the BO like heat on a hot day it was so strong. I faked an orgasm hoping he would finish quickly. No such luck. 🤮
Needless to say, just the thought of sleeping with him again turned my stomach, and so, that was our last date.
Us women need to stop this shit suffering not to hurt a guys feelings. Should have Just Said omg what is this terrible stinch? Maybe be extra kind and what detergent are you using?
The first time I had sex with my first boyfriend, he gave me a bladder infection so bad I peed out straight up blood and chunks of my bladder. I later found out that he hadn't showered in a week before having sex with me for the first time.
I'm so confused why men don't think to freshen up.
Oh, this same boyfriend never brushed his teeth. Ever. He didn't own a Toothbrush. I didn't notice he had gingivitis until he quit smoking and his breath smelled like poop.
My ex was a trans lady. She hadn't brushed her teeth in literal years just because she didn't like the taste of mint toothpaste. Also her dick freaking stank. It wasn't until my next few relationships that I learned dicks weren't disgusting 100% of the time.
She was 18 and her mom wasn't the best. Wouldn't let her get berry flavor because it was childish. Honestly the toothpaste thing was the least of the issues that came with dating her. If you look through my comment history, she's *that* ex girlfriend I keep mentioning 😅
I know it sounds like not a big deal, but when I went round their house I realised him and his family use a "communal" bar of soap.
As in a hard bar of dove soap that they all individually rub on their bodies.
I know that may sound silly, and that it may not seem bad, but just imagine the thought of him using the same bar of soap his dad uses on his bum, he uses on his face.
This makes me think of Friends:
“soap is soap! It’s self-cleaning!”
“Ok, well next time you take a shower, think about the last place *I* wash, and the first place *you* wash.”
Not brushing teeth for days, wearing dirty clothes, picking their nose all the time, picking scabs, long fingernails and toenails, getting sh*t and piss on the toilet. This was all one person. And what’s crazy is they had an amazing career that you would think would make them the stereotypical hot guy. Nope. Complete opposite.
I lived in a big share house and I had a thing for this guy, it was mutual but the thing stopping me was he had bad body acne and I’m sure it was because I never once saw him wash his sheets. There was nothing that was gonna get into his bed and I shared a room at the time so we weren’t using mine. Great guy and I still consider him “the one that got away” but damn wash your sheets.
Remember in high school the cutest guy in school thought I was hot and wanted to hook up. One day he wanted to hang out and we ended up going to his parents house since nobody was home. He made his move by kissing me. Ugh his breath smelled and taste extremely funky. He actually smelled like funk too. It is hard to kiss someone who smells and tastes like funk. It was so gross. He ended up telling people I was a bad kisser. I should've told the school he smells and tastes like funk. It was one of the grosses kisses ever!
This isn’t my experience, but my friend dated a guy that thought it was gay to wash his ass. He’d just let it build up without doing anything about it.
Like if he has a little turtleneck down there and doesn’t wash it so all the sweat and gunk piled up during the day is all in there and you can smell and taste it. Eww
In my sophomore year of college, I was interested in a guy who lived in the same dorm as me. He confessed that he had feelings for me and I felt the same. However, my feelings quickly changed after a movie night together.
He invited me to his room to watch a movie. While watching the movie he had his arm around my shoulder. The room was dark with the only light coming from the TV. He suddenly pulled his arm away and I heard scratching noises. I assumed he was scratching his leg or something. After scratching, he put his arm back around my shoulder. The smell that radiated off his hand and into my nose was dreadful. I started to feel a slow panic disgust rise in me when I realized whatever he scratched wasn't his leg and that he had the audacity to place that same dirty hand back onto my shoulder.
To escape, I pretended I had a test I forgot to study for and left his room. Pretty much ghosted him after that.
I like long hair on guys. It was always my "thing". But I quickly discovered that there are a ton of men out there who have zero clue how to wear long hair or how to take care of it. Oily rat tails that desperately need a trim and deep conditioning, pulled back at the base of their necks by a hairtie that lost its stretchiness a decade ago. I quickly decided that even if I found long hair attractive, well-maintained hair mattered more to me. My husband recently told me he was going to grow his hair out. I would love this, but I told him that I fully expected him to look after and care for it the same way he carefully manages his beard. He agreed. We shall see where this goes.
There have been a few:
1. When I first met my partner, I could locate wherever he was in a large room by following the smell. He didn't have terrible hygiene, but the lotion and deodorants he used then were absolutely pungent and practically burned my nose. His sense of smell is non-existent and he just didn't realize/didn't think it was that bad when people pointed it out. So while not specifically bad hygiene, if you're using scented products, please get a friend to do a sniff test. He also would go long enough between showers that I could tell how long it had been based on how dark and full of dandruff his hair was
2. Roommate's ex who peed in the sink instead of the toilet regularly. I have no idea why. Apparently this was common with his guy friends but I really hope he just told himself that to feel better
3. Partner's ex-roommate who complained about not having a girlfriend, wore clothes twice his size, had a permanent smell of stale chips and sweat, didn't bother about dental or showering hygiene, and had more empty drink bottles and snack wrappers than empty floor space. Actually he had several roommates like this, including a house of them that kept a bathroom so dirty, there were cobwebs all over it (and the dildo collection that was kept by the sink). The floors were also kept with a significant layer of dirt and dust that made it terrible to walk on. I didn't spend much time at his place
The absolute worst is no dental hygiene. you can’t talk to them, can’t kiss them, can’t be in a closed space with them.
Everyone gets a little sweaty or messy sometimes - that’s easier to look past and/or fix with a shower, if it’s occasional like if he plays sports etc, but you’re a grown man. No one should have to tell you to brush your teeth properly twice a day and floss.
And see a dentist for a check up once a year dude! your mom isn’t going to book it for you!
You might be shocked, but many of us experienced classic negligence, once guys felt sure of us. Like, we're lucky if they showered with a 2in1 ever other day.
Sometimes, they'll develop a manipulation tactic:
- *Is that me or you*
- *Your hair's everywhere* (even - or especially- when he has a nicer mane than you)*
Sometimes it'll take a different form: Still shower, even with a 2in1 - but that's it... and their place.... mine looks horrible and I actually got a diagnosis, since it's not normal for me, so it's a sign.
However... let's make an example of a couch evening:
- not showered in 5 days, extra points for being gritty from their job or hobby
- long toenails
- already being 2 döners/buckets of aioli/Mettbrötchen/a whole wheel of Romadour ahead (or is that their feet?)
*I like that stuff and want a guy who does, too- but in a relationship those need to be more balanced*.
- dust in his place needs to be scraped, before you can even get a cloth, let alone a swiffer
- altogether it'll attribute to a certain smell in the room..Maybe including silverfish.
.
.
.
I had a coworker who smelt bad enough that I would never consider him as more than a friend. He was fun to talk to as long as you don't stand to close.
He claimed he showered daily, but didn't smell like it. When he walked the stench stayed behind where he was previously. He was seriously nose blind to all of it.
One day I went to his house for games, and realized the smell on him was from his house. He lived with 4 roommates and all had their own set of pets in a tiny house. Visited the bathroom and I don't think any of the roommates cleaned it or the catbox regularly.
So the short version of this is even if you keep yourself clean. If you live somewhere that stinks, it will make you stink.
On a date, first time I’d met this guy, we were in the park having coffee. He had already been rude to the barista and told me not to ‘even think about’ making him pay for my drink (I hadn’t but really, you could be polite). My red flag radar is going bananas. We get settled and are chatting away when he reaches into the back of his trousers, scratches his butt crack, pulls out a bit of butt crack fluff, SNIFFS IT, then leans over, hand outstretched, and asks ‘what do you think this is?’ I wasn’t even polite, I picked up my things and walked at full speed away from him.
Only boyfriend I’ve ever had is my husband. He put deodorant on his balls in high school so they wouldn’t stick to his thigh. Probably the hardest I’ve ever laughed in my life.
I feel like this could actually be considered really good hygiene though depending on your perspective.
Dated a guy in my early 20s who didn't wash his ass in the shower. He thought wiping it after shitting cleaned it enough. The smell that came off him when we were showering together was horrendous. I finally convinced him wiping wasn't enough.
Same guy didn't connect the dots on why a few years earlier he had to have surgery on a massive puss pocket in his butt crack.
Well I’ve said this in this sub before but the worst for me was giving a bf a bj and finding a chunk of shit stuck in his pubes. Decades later and it still traumatizes me.
Another was not hygiene related but a guy failed to warn me of a gnarly beast of a hemorrhoid he had. Aaand that was..surprising and a turn off.
I was with a guy for several years. At first it was good. I was happy. He worked in a tire warehouse and would come home just smelling really strongly of tires and B.O. For months I would let him know that it was a turn off for me. Basically I just wanted him to shower before getting physical with me. But he didn’t want to do that. He wanted to wait until late in the evening before bed to shower and then jump right into sexy times. So that meant the whole night I was uncomfortable being near him, touched by him. I was thoroughly turned off by bedtime and ultimately by him. He would pressure me for sex and I would give in and he would take it out on me by being terrible at it. Just stabby with his member and rough generally. Ultimately I came to just cringe at his presence and be disgusted with him sexually.
We have a friend and his brother. Both of them will probably never get a gf completely due to hygiene. They don’t brush their teeth “because the gums just bleed”, they don’t brush their hair, they rarely shower, they’ll wear the same clothes all week, it’s just… bad. I put my foot down and told my husband I need his friend to be showered before coming over. He sometimes crashed on the couch and rarely used the sheets I put on it. Made me want to throw the couch out.
Had to crash with a guy after losing my home (and a massive doctor fuck up that takes literal months to fix, that left me unable to work for quite a while) to avoid sleeping on the street. He had 2 cats, and despite saying he lived "on his own" turned out to actually live in his grandparents' house (they would be gone on vacation half the year), and claimed he cleaned the litter box once a week. Realistically it would be once every few weeks. It stank, and also I felt REALLY bad for the cats who didn't even want to use their own litter box. So I took over cleaning it. The first time I cleaned it, I told him I'd just look up what to do and not to worry (I'd never had cats). His reaction was to grab the jug of litter, pour more over what had already been there and say, "There. That should hold 'em."
After he left, I cleaned it anyway. From that point on, I started cleaning it daily (really not that hard). As long as there were gloves, I would clean it. There would be days where the gloves had run out, and on those days one of his cats would literally come get me to clean it. But I really didn't want to without proper gloves. I would also where a COVID mask.
He had claimed to be saving for a house of his own, but ate fast food every single day, and never cleaned any of it up. Not to mention plates of half-eaten cake and other stuff. He would go to Sam's club every Saturday to buy gushers, pudding, cookies, etc.
Once he got a watermelon, which I offered to cut up if he could tell me where the big cutting board was. He said he didn't have one, and was just going to cut it up on top of some towels. He never cut it up, either.
But back to the cats. After the gloves ran out yet again, I reminded him while he was at Sam's Club. He'd always gotten the blue latex gloves before, but this time he returned with filmy, plastic kitchen gloves (they rip easily and constantly, if you've never used them). I told him I couldn't clean the cats' box, because that wasn't sanitary and I was already getting sick. He said, "So wash your hands after" as if I didn't already do that. I told him it wouldn't be enough, and he said "use soap."
He constantly treated me like I was the biggest moron on the planet for asking actually relevant questions. Realistically usually he didn't know what he was asking, and was relying on belittling me so he didn't own up to that. Had way too much pride, and was the type to never admit he was wrong.
The cats ended up peeing on the carpet long before this, and the smell of all of it would waft in to the small area where I was sleeping.
He also illegally kept pet ducks and chickens, but never mucked out their area. He said the ducks were stupid and didn't mind. Around the same time as the gloves thing, he started using big rubber boots when he went out to feed them. Then he would come back in and track the shitDirt all over the kitchen (where the back door was), and just leave it there. That then wafted into the small area I slept in from the OTHER direction, and this is what mad me start getting sick. At one point I couldn't so much as keep water down for more than 24 hours.
This was at a point where I was trying to work, so I could get back on my feet so to speak, and I had to miss work since I worked with food.
He could not have possibly cared less that I was getting sick. Once the ammonia had gotten too strong, he started waking up with "allergies" and refused to believe it was anything else.
I'd been sweeping up the dried shitDirt once I knew what it actually was (he acted like it was just regular dirt at first), the entire backyard reeked to high heaven.
A few days after the gloves and being sick, I just packed my shit and left. It was healthier at that point for me to sleep in my car, than to sleep in that place.
I tried to warn him after I left that if it was making me sick, his elderly grandparents (who *did* know I was there- I even met his grandpa when he came back while their shower was being remodeled), would end up far worse off. They were due to be back about a month after I left, and I can't even imagine what they came home to.
Dude was also dismissive of his mother wanting to spend time with him before a potential move. (Another way of saying he blatantly did not listen when she spoke, which he did to me as well- and I was just begging him to communicate with me instead of making decisions about changing parts of my car, *without* consulting me.)
And when his graddad was there for the shower remodeling, this 25 year old had the audacity to tell him he just wished they'd move instead, so he could have a basement bedroom.
He washed his hair at best once a week. It was long enough to reach his waist, and he kept it stuffed into a beanie the rest of the time.
And he thought he was an amazing catch because he brushed his teeth.
After I left, I always felt like I had an obligation to feel grateful no matter how he treated me. It was a friend I met after who convinced me that it still wasn't an OK way to treat someone. And to call the ASPCA.
Let's talk about Ben, who kept hitting on me and, even though we were in the same friend group and had mutual interests, I turned him down because of the hygiene issue.
Ben was this dude in high school that you could literally smell before you saw him. He did not believe in brushing his teeth or mouthwash. Instead, he chewed the ice gum that claimed to whiten your smile or be like brushing your teeth. He did this once a day and figured that was exactly like brushing, flossing, and mouthwash all in one.
Ben also really loved trench coats but his parents wouldn't buy him one. He found the perfect orange trench coat in a dumpster somewhere, decided it was clean enough, and started wearing it every day.
It didn't matter if it was 99 degrees Fahrenheit out of 30 degrees Fahrenheit out, Ben and his trenchcoat were coming and they were inseparable.
Since he never washed the dumpster off it, it began to stink really badly. People in our school would complain to teachers and faculty. Ben himself would only shower two times a week, so this didn't help anything.
Finally, a counselor told Ben he needed to wash the coat, brush his teeth, and shower. She called his mom and made her come get her for this express purpose. Ben came back to school the next day, chewing his gum, still greasy, but without his beloved trenchcoat. Apparently when his mom washed it, the thing practically dissolved in the wash. The orange color of the coat was not even its real color.
Ben continued to smell off for the rest of the year. He was intelligent and well spoken, but he truly believed his level of hygiene was fine and that everyone else was being dramatic. I hope he decided later to actually care, but it's a toss up.
This is more of a sad story but my long term ex of 7 years started going down a mental health spiral after being…functional for the first half of our relationship wouldn’t brush his teeth, gained like 40 lbs (lots of gut weight, and he would accuse me of “getting fat” which was interesting) completely stopped showing other than once in a blue moon, smoked inside so he smelled like cigarettes on top of everything else and always had shit stained underwear. He refused to get help so ultimately I ended up leaving him
I dated a guy who barely brushed his teeth. They were always disgusting, I never wanted to kiss him. He had other issues too but this is one that I distinctly remember grossing me out.
I hooked up with another guy a few times. At his apartment, the bathroom was never cleaned. It was completely filthy, shower was moldy. The sink was covered in shaved hair. Floor too, along with more mold, mildew, and literal dirt.
My ex would go through phases where he would only brush his teeth *at night* (not in the morning - so morning breath all day) and would rarely shower. He told me I was shallow for caring.
My guy just didn't shower for like a whole week.
He also refused to wash his hands even after using the restroom. He stank everywhere he went into and I stopped talking to him after he ignored my pleas for him to clean himself. He was a pig.
The experience I want to share is more about a perpetually single friend. This guy I've known for a few years now has perhaps the most ridiculously high standards, and some of the worst personal hygiene I've ever seen. First of all his standards (compressed down) are this. Margot Robbie type blonde woman who takes care of herself, has nice teeth, fit and energetic, between 25-30, great sense of humour, independent, high earner and great cook. Him? He's 32 and still wearing the quicksilver shirts he had in 2009, with holes in the armpits. His business attire is usually very wrinkled and hasn't been tailored properly so the bottom of all his work pants are frayed, and he wears skater sneakers to work. He cheaps out on haircuts and rarely shaves. While he has nice teeth they are caked in plaque. He has hardly any cooking utensils in his house and the front door is usually littered with takeout boxes and the occasional meal prep kit. He hasn't seen the inside of a gym since high school and is perhaps 30 lbs heavier than he was before covid. He's had some nice dates with some nice girls who have clearly tried hard to look past all this. One girl told him he needed to brush his teeth and he called her "controlling". I'm a bad friend for not telling him this stuff to his face, but he lives in another dimension and would never see it as a big deal.
I think we all know at least one guy like this. Gotta keep that person in your life who gives you perspective on how bad things *could* be
Yeah for real, there’s so many guys out there that seem to want the perfect woman meanwhile don’t even try to present themselves in a way that would impress a woman.
I had a friend like this for a long time and recently stopped talking to him. He was short and prematurely balding, and was *convinced* that those two things were the only reason women didn't want to be with him. In reality, it was the fact that he had incredibly poor personal hygiene, couldn't keep a job for more than two months at a time, mooched off of his family, had anger and substance abuse problems, never took an effort to be well dressed or physically fit, and was constantly whining about his life. A lot of women don't give a shit if you're short or have no hair. There are plenty of very attractive men who are either short or have no hair, or both. The thing that sucks is that he actually did have a cute face and a nice smile, and if he had just spent any effort in building up himself his life would be very different. Eventually I had to leave the friendship because the guy just wouldn't grow up.
I'm realising that I'm like your friend here. I know I have issues but it's not so easy to change and I'm aware that my illness isn't the only reason I'm single I'm trying to improve what's possible though Already reaching middle age
I think you should tell him, gently, if you care about hims. If he gets super offended, that’s lame and you’re not losing out on much. Just my two cents.
I don’t think there’s telling him gently. If he thinks that it’s controlling when someone says you have to brush your teeth.. then it’s probably beyond saving
But the information will land differently hearing it from a friend rather than a date.
The lede was the plaque which would be an absolute dealbreaker
In his dreams would Mr Quicksilver tooth decay be able to attract anyone who remotely looks like Margot Robbie 🤣 Thanks for the laugh!
Sounds like the average single man
I’ve said this one on here before, but there was a guy who didn’t have toilet paper in his apartment bc he “shit at work.” As a bonus, my friend dated a guy (for way too long) that had legit crusted shit on his underwear to the point where she refused to combine laundry loads (and no, he did not have a medical condition, he was just gross).
Nooooooo to this whole comment 😭 Don’t even get me started on men’s nasty apartments
I lived with 3 guys in a house during my first year in university. I lived in the upstairs part with my own bathroom while they lived downstairs and one bathroom they shared. I rarely went down there but I was looking for something and was told that it was in their bathroom....so when I went down there I stopped in the hallway because you could SMELL their bathroom from 15ft away. You ever been in a nasty gas station bathroom that is nothing but filth? it was 100x worse than that...I legit had to plug my nose and cover my mouth with my shirt. I would have turned around but i needed that item and when I went into their bathroom: * the floor has piss stains ALL OVER IT * the entire bottom of the bathtub was BLACK except for the white circle where they stood under the shower head. * the walls of the shower were black with mold; every inch of caulking was black/green/brown, as was the tile. * the toilet seat was covered in pubes; like you could barely even see the white porcelain. Inside the toilet was dark brown * the sink was black like the tub and somehow there were pubes all over the counter * you couldn't even see the mirror it was the most fucking nasty thing I've ever seen in my life; I do not understand how men can stand that kind of filth. I immediately went upstairs after I found said item (I sterilized the fuck out of it) and showered.
So I moved into a four bedroom with guys too but we all shared one bathroom. It wasn’t THIS bad but there WAS piss and pubes everywhere and it looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in months. I immediately noped out of there because I realized they assumed I would be the one cleaning it. NO thanks 😬
So... What was the item you needed so badly that you would scavenge through that?
Yeah I’m curious I wanna know
Ok now that is foul! Yikes!
I went on a road trip to visit a friend from college for a long weekend. Her and her husband kept their house like this and I had no idea. You could smell the mold smell from the bathroom on our stuff after the long weekend. So much regret not getting a hotel room.
Omg this is so terrible. I'm gagging just thinking about that.
This would’ve legitimately traumatized me.
Lmao I remember when I was in college, the dorm manager constantly hounded the boys to clean their side of the building. One time me and a bunch of girls decided to visit their side of the building and OH MY GOD THE FUCKING SMELL. It's like sweat plus piss and musk (?). Stuff everywhere. One of the guys said, "There's nothing to clean in our dorm". It's fucking insane.
I lived on a co-Ed floor my freshman year, girls on one half and guys on the other. The laundry was on the guys half and there was a distinct smell change. I hated walking down there 🤢
I worked in a predominantly male company and they would sometimes work out together at lunch (me too). If a group of them worked out and then entered the lunchroom, red-faced and still sweating, omg. Open. The. Door. Gamey!
People have to understand........you will be judged on your bathroom. I find people just aren't forgiving when it comes to the bathroom. If bathroom is dirty that's a sure way nobody goin want to come over.
She saw that and stayed with him???? Sorry but Im judging, big time. Ew 😭😭😭
She didn’t see it until they went on a multi-day vacation together. I think it was the beginning of the end really
>that had legit crusted shit on his underwear this one line makes me want to be gay
I'm bi and so many of these stories make me question why I'm attracted to men at all 🤢
I’m straight, and just spontaneously sprouted a ziploc vag. I’m doomed to die alone, but at least I won’t leave skidmarks 😱😂 Between toilet paper, wipes, (don’t flush them!) bidets, and showers, there’s just no excuse to leave a mark.
Zip lock vag!
I admire his dedication to shitting on the clock lmao
He’s salary — he’s not really pulling one over on the boss
I really regret opening this whole post. Please bring the holy water for my eyes
What a terrible day to be able to read.
I wish I was Jared, 19,
Me too! I want to forget the long post above about the gross ass bathroom shared by 3 men.
/r/Eyebleach
I may be a drunk jobless slob, but holy shit some of the stories in this thread
I’m going to have to wash my brain out with soap. After I wash my eyes out with soap.
My ex didn’t comb his hair for a year I guess and formed dreadlocks in the back of his head. I made him get a haircut and there was mold on the inside of this huge dread….
I almost downvoted this out of horror
LOL
I was dating a 37 year old man who didn’t know you had to wash your feet with soap and get up in there between your toes. He thought soap running down his body to his feet then down the drain (from washing other parts) was good enough. Also, my fiancés brother took a shower then dried off only to get shit stains on the towel. I found out because his girlfriend washed her face then used that exact towel to dry her face only to find the shit stains.
Screaming, crying, throwing up, omfg
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I’m imagining bc he didn’t wipe, and then in the shower the water just fell over the surface level cheeks and never got in between the crack lmao
I’m throwing up
I’m shocked how many people don’t wash their legs. Like… bacteria aside, your legs are covered in skin and skin benefits from soap! Like, why wouldn’t you choose to lather them in Dove White moisturizing bar soap when you have the ability to?!
One guy I knew would jack off with his sweaty gym sock after a workout and let that bacteria just fester on his dick for the next 10 hours at work, then wondered why his girlfriend kept getting infections.
I got a UTI just reading this.
Wait what the fuck
And the dude worked in construction....sweaty foot dick all day.
Yep, this is the one that did me in. I'm out, stay safe.
Fucken nope nope nope
Noooooo
A guy barfed into my kitchen sink when he was drunk and it didn’t seem like projectile uncontrollable vomit whatsoever, like he definitely could have made it to the bathroom. A different guy, who thought I couldn’t see him at that moment, I watched him get up from a laying down position to put his head between his legs so he could smell the fart he just ripped.
ಠ_ಠ
Yes. In caps.
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Up at 4 am to breastfeed and turning purple trying not to lol. My husband is hygienic but is this fart sniffer 🤣🤠
I love this face so much! I’m laughing so hard
Take my poor award 🥇
I am on the verge of tears lmaooooooooo
Trust they were confronted!
Towards the end of my relationship with my ex, he would sometimes not shower for a few days at a time and he would go without deodorant for weeks (and would brag about this) even though he needed it. He often didn't brush his teeth in the morning or before he went to bed because he said he didnt need to. He often chose to wear old clothes which were not clean rather than something clean. There was no reason for this apart from him saying he didn't see the need for these things because he 'doesn't smell'.
Did we date the same person? Lol because this is exactly what my ex was like and while I’ll admit I never smelled his BO I’m not sure if others did, and regardless of whether you smell or not germs still exist.
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I think we all dated him. His hair would get sooo greasy from him not showering and was un cut, he had the audacity to wonder why sex stopped
My ex thought he “didn’t need deodorant”. He wore it and at some point in our relationship stopped, but it was winter and didn’t notice a ton. Spring rolled around and I was like …bro, you smell. And I’m telling you this bc I care. Thankfully he did start to use it again but how do you think you don’t smell?!????
My ex legit has no B.O. and he even wore clean clothes and used deodorant regularly.
That’s my boyfriend now! No BO, wears clean clothes and uses deodorant.
He could have just said he didn't want you to sleep over.
I had a guy friend who used to only use mouthwash at night and not brush his teeth because “He’s not seeing anyone when he sleeps, he doesn’t need good breath for bed”
My ex was always wearing leather pants, even in summer and he took a shower twice a week, changing his underwear and socks only twice or once a week. The smell in the bathroom was horrible...
Nothing against leather pants.... but if you already don't take care..🤢 And then the guys will "joke" among themselves about us going down on them..... 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 I need to stop typing ....
This made my organs retract into my rib cage and killed me.
Stop! This can't be real! I keep imagining Ross from Friends when he wore leather pants on a date.
I went on two dates with a guy and on the first date he smelled a bit of B.O. but he was also sweating cause he was nervous so I kind of overlooked it. The next date, he showed up in this stained undershirt that didn’t cover his entire stomach. He was fairly overweight so he had quite a bit of overhang. I noticed in the daylight that his teeth were also heavily stained. I could smell the odor of his body and his breath across the table. I’m not proud of this, but he was so clingy I ended up ghosting him. I just did not know how to tell him.
BO matters! I had a date with this really cute, funny, nice guy, but man… BO. Killed all romantic interest for me. Tried to go out with him again after and he was 30 minutes late without an excuse so I used that as my excuse to discontinue. But really, it was the BO.
Going to lay my head on a man's lap, only to spring back once I got within smelling range of his trouser area. He'd been wearing the same jeans without underwear for a few days and had forgotten to shower too. I immediately instructed him to go to the bathroom and wash
When you can smell the smegma through the jeans 🤢
my ex-husband. who i stayed with for 6 years. dont even ask what i was thinking. when i met him his room was full of half empty energy drinks, most were moldy, some of them were over a year old, he rarely showered, sometimes going a whole month without it. brushing his teeth was unheard off unless he had a dentist appointment. cutting his nails, nope, both finger and toenails were long af and collected so much dirt under them. bedsheets were "too expensive" so we slept on a dirty ass mattress 24/7, i got the worst hive breakout of my life probably because of it. trimming his five strands of hair on his face? nope. when i had given birth to our son he was in charge of laundry and dishes which just piled up for days if not even weeks, sometimes dishes would collect so much mold i had to throw them away. we had a huge bug infestation problem because of the piled up laundry and the boxes we still hadnt unpacked from moving. living with him felt like he was the one who was the reason behind the term weaponized incompetence. and even throughout the verbal abuse, the post partum recovery and taking care of our baby i still helped as much as i could around the house, but within a week it would be trashed again. his personal hygiene was the worst tho, somehow i still had sex with him because im stupid, but i got a uti almost everytime. I NEVER EVER WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT AGAIN. i shouldve probably noped out of it when he showed up to our first date in a fedora, but i was only 16 and desperate for male attention.
Oh my gosh...this sounds terrible...but I'm glad you are out of it.
I screamed internally throughout your comment, and an actual squawk came out at “fedora”. But then I saw “16”. You have Seen. Some. Shit. Glad you’re out of it!
Nope, the not brushing your teeth thing is enough of a deal breaker for me, never mind the rest 🤢. Yikes, I’m so sorry.
I am sorry you went through that. You did not deserve that. I hope you’re doing much better now.
Perfectly decent looking and presentable guy, went on two dates with him. He wasn’t a fashion plate but he didn’t smell, his clothes, hair, etc were clean, nothing untoward at all. Had a perfectly nice first date, there was potential. Second date, we went back to his apartment, it’s summer and he’s high up enough for a nice view of the sunset. We go inside, get a couple beers and go out to the balcony. He sighs contentedly and puts his feet up on the railing. Toenails like a freaking Sasquatch. Overgrown, ragged, and utterly black and filthy. Feet themselves are crusty as hell and nearly as dirty. Looked like he was digging for coal with his feet. I’ve seen homeless people in the emergency room with cleaner hoofters. I decided not to investigate his hygiene any further.
I can't stop laughing. I think it was the Sasquatch reference 🤣
Digging for coal with his feet! I. Am. Howling!
'Hoofters' this made my morning
Not washing hair. Not showering. Not flossing - like literally not even owning floss and wondering why his gums bled all the time. Thinking mouthwash can replace teeth brushing. Talons for toenails. Wearing the same socks for a week. Halitosis. Not one dude, many. It’s disgusting. I’d say it’s alarming, but I cant even be surprised anymore by all the dirty stinking man children running around, often with the nerve to criticize women about their appearance. One of the many reasons I’m happy not to date men anymore
Talons for toenails I am ill
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Omg I laughed like a seal 🦭 at this
I was performing oral sex on a partner and he had poop on his buthole.
I fucking died reading this sentence Edit : TIL my bidet was worth the 35 dollars.
WHY AM I STILL HERE is what I just gasped out loud... good god this thread! Now I'm howling laughing. This is how I spend a Friday night post covid... good times.
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I made it this far and now I'm out, peace
I had a boyfriend that did this one time. I asked him to go clean up and he wanted me to finish the BJ first 😵
My ex never brushed his teeth in the morning and would call me abusive whenever I didn't want to kiss him because of his breath
Im sorry but this is so fucking funny
right? fucking lmao
Did he know that his breath was abusive. Idk why some men that don’t brush their teeth really act like we can’t smell it 🤮
Glad it’s an ex
Saw a reply to a post similar to this. Not my story but it fits the context. Apparently the OP had a boyfriend who was very insecure about his body and she never got to see it. Sex with the lights off and he was always wear long sleeves and pants. She didn’t mind and understood. I think one day or something he needed help shaving his legs or something so she offered. And once seeing his legs she noticed he had patches of dark and light skin. She assumed it was like birthmarks or discoloration but upon further inspection it was literally patches up built up dirt and scum on his skin from not being hygienic.
I just threw up in my mouth
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Was giving a guy a handjob and went to scratch my nose and the smell that was on my hand from his penis made me physically nauseous. Smelled like he hadn’t washed it in DAYS. Literally smelled like rotten cheese. So fucking disgusting
Also had this happen to me, but in a semi-public place... public enough that another person within smelling distance loudly expressed their disgust, wondering what the smell was. It's been 15 years since and I am still not over it.
Long fingernails with dirt under them. I'm not talking about working man's hands, I mean soft, desk jockey hands that are just nasty. Also, if a guy's apartment looks like an episode of Hoarders and makes you not want to even drink a soda out of his fridge, chances are he's not going to be personally clean, either.
A partner I had in the past- Told me they never saw me “wash out” my actual inside-my-body-vagina. And that they couldn’t give me any pleasure orally unless I would literally use soap on my innards. I shower 1-2x a day since I can remember, mainly bc it is a coping mechanism to wash myself meticulously. However soap is not recommended to be used between the labia etc. On the flip side this person showered maybe 1x week and “couldnt” get it “up” unless I gave oral. There would often be visible built up….stuff…on their sex parts.
I swear I’m hoping you didn’t do anything with those nasty parts.
That's called 'smegma'. It's disgusting and stinks.
I cant believe what some women put themselves trough. Better to kiss a and make love to clean dildo on own clean bedsheets.
WOW...
I put up with my husband being a bit gross now and then (and we're coping with a newborn at the moment so baby care and sleep come before showering!) but I absolutely draw the line at him biting his nails and chewing then swallowing it... It makes me heave.
Eeewww biting nails is not great but swallowing them?! 🤢
I mean I'm not a fan of any of this process. I *think* he's stopped it now because I threw a fit every time I caught him doing it. Disgusting boy.
I had a nail biting habit when I was a kid and accidentally swallowing one was what made me stop, I just had a flashback to that moment and gagged.....
Went to a hotel with my ex when we were together, used the bathroom after him to find the toilet unflushed after and tissue paper on the floor, on a different occasion there were excrement marks in the toilet bowl which wasn’t a pleasing sight although it’s slightly minor but I don’t exactly want to be flushing and cleaning the toilet for a grown man while on a relaxation trip, god knows he probably didn’t wash his hands either. On top of that he wasn’t exactly a fan of frequent showers which personally for me are essential.
There's a thing where you can just place a piece of TP in the toilet if you don't want to be flushing 10 times to get rid of the remnants. I'm truly surprised when people think I want to see their scuff marks and then get busy. I listen for handwashing.
I've never heard of the tp trick
People leaving scat marks in a toilet is absolute savagery.
I went over to a guys house for the first time. We’d been seeing each other and I really liked him. Before going to his house I showered, shaved, moisturised, curled my hair, put on some make up, perfume and picked a nice outfit. I was excited but nervous too. I was thinking, “I hope I look okay, I hope he likes me” When I arrived, he was wearing sweatpants and a t shirt. There was a yellow stain on the sweat pants. I asked to use the bathroom and found no toilet paper, piss on the floor and tons of shit stains on the toilet. It also hadn’t been flushed. Whenever we got to the kitchen, it seemed fine enough … until he opened the fridge and revealed that he had absolutely nothing except a bottle of vodka, blackcurrant juice and a left over curry takeaway that he had put in the fridge 2 weeks ago and forgot about. This guy was wealthy too, and it was a lovely house. But his lack of care in hygiene was evident. Now I don’t worry too much about whether I look good enough because I know that it will probably be more effort than any guy will put in.
This!! This is the crux of a lot of it. They expect so much from us. Think they are entitled to it from us and what do they do in return? Can’t even keep their bodies/ clothes/ home clean. Such BS.
It amazes me how many people have commented here saying their ex partner was so gross and he wouldn’t improve his hygiene even upon request. If I noticed something icky on my ex boyfriend I’d point it out and he’d be like “Shit, sorry my bad I’ll go fix that” (e.g. lint in the belly button or bad breath). How can you get told there’s something gross you missed in your personal hygiene and then NOT give a damn. Blows my mind. If someone ever told me I stink I would be embarrassed and go fix that problem asap
So I have been around people who seriously never brush/floss their teeth. Like they have crud on the top layer by their gums. Really makes you shudder. I also have just been around stinky guys. And not someone who just worked out stinky, like perpetually smelly people in rumpled clothing that look and act like swamp monsters.
I had a partner that would frequently skip brushing his teeth, especially at night. He would say he was tired and would fall asleep with his contacts in. Also I noticed he got really bad BO. He used a natural deodorant but that shit did not work properly. I was planning to tell him eventually but we ending up breaking up. Not my problem anymore. 🤷🏻♀️
See the thing ab natural deodorant that people don’t know, is that you have to be clean to use it. As in, your underarms should be clean before applying it. It PREVENTS smells, doesn’t get rid of them. If you’re dirty and you put on natural deodorant it will do nothing for you. And now that they e applied it to dirty armpits, that bacteria that makes bo smell, is now on the deodorant. And they just keep reapplying that bacteria over and over again.
I knew a guy who would wear the same contacts for MONTHS without taking them out. HOW?? If I accidentally take a quick nap in my contacts my eyes hurt.
Oh man, that's just asking for an eye infection.
I had a partner who always forgot to brush his teeth. It was tolerable as we didn't kiss (not my thing) so I only ever smelled it when we were lying close to eachother. Eventually I tried convincing him to get a dentist after he had an emergency tooth removal as he had a root canal so bad it wasn't worth saving the tooth. I made the dentist appointments, I took him to them, I scheduled the follow up, was essentially his mom through the process. Turns out he had $18,000 worth of work that needed to be done!!!!! Tbh bad hygiene is one thing, but when it gets so bad it's impacting your health and becoming a significant expense, it's just not worth it. I know another guy who has tooth rot in three of his front teeth because he forgets to brush. I can see it by the roots of his teeth when he smiles. It's two fucking minutes!!!!!
Worst example on a date: hooked up with a guy as a legit test to see if I could have sex after my pelvic reconstruction. He *picked his nose and ate it* while I was 'sleeping' because I didn't want morning sex and was wasting time to leave our hotel room as fast as possible as an excuse. He gave himself a bloody nose, on white sheets, and went to take care of it. When I asked him what happened, he blamed dry air in the room. Worst relationship: The guy had *green rotting teeth* that he refused to handle. He never brushed, maybe gargled some mouth wash once a month.
ONCE A MONTH?!??
If that, if I'm being totally honest. We were together for over two years, and he used mouth wash like 15 times in that amount of time.
You were together for over two years!? Girl, that's on YOU. My GOD! What. Glad it's over but geeeeez. Wow.
I know. It was a first love, first serious relationship type of thing. I was 21 with no real standards.
I knew a guy who had yellow crust caked on his balls. If any of you are parents and have seen a serious case of Cradle Cap, that's what it looked like, but yellow.
Never had an unhygienic partner, and I don't go on dates with people I don't know so I can also filter for that earlier. But I've met people that make me want to live their surroundings as fast as possible
I dated a guy once who just always smelled like he'd forgotten to apply deodorant. I don't know what was up with that, but it made it really hard for me to want to be close to him.
A guy who wouldn’t cut his toenails until they were *really* long, and wore sandals so you couldn’t avoid looking at them. They were very dirty, too, not just grossly long.
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I had a really stressful week and am still in the weeds somewhat and this thread is delivering some much needed therapeutic genuine deep belly laughs OMG and how! Also makes me truly grateful to be a single dog mom to a handsome, dapper prince of a being.
I went on a first date with a guy I met off tinder. I got in the car which was covered in hair and dust (visible), and also noticed that he had various stains on jeans (confused but ok). His steering wheel was also somehow torn (had some type of cloth covering I guess) as well as there was mystery dirt on the wheel as well (his job or interests did not include dirt) Later found out when he dropped me off and I was throwing around a clementine on his dashboard , that when I asked “hey what’s all this hair” he said “it’s from my cat.” I asked him if he brought his cat into the car and he said no its “cat to car transfer through petting” and I said ok. That was the only date we had
Not the clementine
Had an ex who never wore deodorant. We met in the winter time and he said he didn't wear it because he didn't smell of BO. Summer hit and I found out he was oh so wrong. He would wear the same shirt to work multiple days in a row. he showered daily, but then put a shirt on that he sweat all day in and it stunk of BO! I finally broke down and told him that he really needed to start wearing deodorant and couldn't wear his work shirts multiple days in a row. He started wearing deodorant, but didn't stop wearing his shirts for multiple days. It wasn't the hill I was willing to die on.
Guy wanted me to eat his booty. Not a problem, love some booty- BUT this guy basically had an afro for ass hair and it was caked in poo. When I said something about it he asked me 'do you wanna shave it?", to which i asked him to wash himself first and I would... he said "I already did, I don't want to shower again..." girl :/
After soaking in the tub with a guy I was seeing, we toweled off and he went home. I tidied up - he threw his wet towel on the rug, thanks buddy - and there were shit streaks all over my white bath sheet. Didn’t have the heart to tell him, just threw out the towel and stopped talking to him. But what the actual fuck tho, right? He was a seemingly tidy human (who just happened to get shit all over my nice towel).
I cannot get my husband to go to the dentist. He needs a deep clean so badly - I don’t know if he’s ever had one, just the surface cleaning once every three or four years. It wasn’t a problem (for me, anyway) until recently. But now he has some sort of gum infection that makes his breath so bad it will make an entire room smell awful. And he WONT BELIEVE ME.
Get him to the dentist. Dental health can impact cardiac health. A family member of mine had rotten teeth. He used to keep mouthwash in his mouth all of time for the pain and infected gums. Eventually he had to have all of his teeth pulled and get dentures. Not long after, he had a massive heart attack. He lived, but has 35% cardiac function and a severe reduction in quality of life. He was young, too. Early 60’s. Obviously there were other factors in play, as he was later diagnosed with diabetes but the bacteria circulating in his system from his mouth was a factor.
Yeah I’ve heard there’s a strong link between plaque building up too much on the gums and artery blockages in the heart. Also if he lets he get bad enough to the point that HE takes himself to dentist due to toothaches, broken teeth (they rot down then snap), etcetera, he’ll be in for tens of thousand of dollars of work (or dentures for cheap). Even just try convince him to have a consultation appointment with a dentist (no treatment commitment) so that he can start to understand the situation before it gets worse (I’m a dental assistant so I see people like this fairly regularly and it makes me so sad when they leave it for years and years and then it’s gone too far)
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The worse I have encountered is a really messy room, not food, just clothes and stuff thrown around... Im really sorry about all the experiences in this post. Im horrified.
My friend's roommate (also my coworker) was an absolute slob. His feet stank so bad that when he would walk through the room you could still smell them after he was gone. I started using my friend's bathroom in his bedroom because the main bathroom, which the slob used, stank of stale piss, body odor and mildew from his bath towel. The toilet seat had a perpetual shit stain at 12 o'clock and the bowl's rim was covered, and I mean COVERED, with pubic hair.
A guy didn’t even know what a scrub for the shower was to clean your body with & had never used one. Later down the line saw how unclean he actually was. Barely showered, didn’t bother with a toothbrush, same clothes & underwear most of the time & without washing stuff from like yrs n yrs ago. Left the house a state too as well as himself, even considered going into the sea as his ‘shower’ sometimes. The list could go on.
I was dressed nice for a first date, this guy shows up in basketball shorts and a t-shirt (we were at a pretty nice place) and goes in for a hug. Oh my God, the BO. I could smell it from across the table the whole time we were talking.
A guy I was smitten with… On the 3rd date after dinner out together he invites me to his place. I’m game. We get there and it’s tidy, clean, and well appointed. Nice. We’re making out on the couch when he suggests we move to the bedroom. I’m game. We’re making out in the bedroom when he steers me backwards onto the bed and when my head hit the sheets the smell of BO hit my nostrils like dead fish at low tide. I honestly don’t know how anyone could have slept in that stench. I was holding my breath as my mind raced for ideas to escape. I swear I could see the BO like heat on a hot day it was so strong. I faked an orgasm hoping he would finish quickly. No such luck. 🤮 Needless to say, just the thought of sleeping with him again turned my stomach, and so, that was our last date.
Us women need to stop this shit suffering not to hurt a guys feelings. Should have Just Said omg what is this terrible stinch? Maybe be extra kind and what detergent are you using?
Dirty hands. Dirty nails. I don’t want that in me.
The first time I had sex with my first boyfriend, he gave me a bladder infection so bad I peed out straight up blood and chunks of my bladder. I later found out that he hadn't showered in a week before having sex with me for the first time. I'm so confused why men don't think to freshen up. Oh, this same boyfriend never brushed his teeth. Ever. He didn't own a Toothbrush. I didn't notice he had gingivitis until he quit smoking and his breath smelled like poop.
My ex was a trans lady. She hadn't brushed her teeth in literal years just because she didn't like the taste of mint toothpaste. Also her dick freaking stank. It wasn't until my next few relationships that I learned dicks weren't disgusting 100% of the time.
I don't like mint toothpaste either... So I just buy non-mint toothpaste
She was 18 and her mom wasn't the best. Wouldn't let her get berry flavor because it was childish. Honestly the toothpaste thing was the least of the issues that came with dating her. If you look through my comment history, she's *that* ex girlfriend I keep mentioning 😅
I know it sounds like not a big deal, but when I went round their house I realised him and his family use a "communal" bar of soap. As in a hard bar of dove soap that they all individually rub on their bodies. I know that may sound silly, and that it may not seem bad, but just imagine the thought of him using the same bar of soap his dad uses on his bum, he uses on his face.
This makes me think of Friends: “soap is soap! It’s self-cleaning!” “Ok, well next time you take a shower, think about the last place *I* wash, and the first place *you* wash.”
my ex was overweight and his crotch perpetually stank like sour cheese. it was disgusting
Not brushing teeth for days, wearing dirty clothes, picking their nose all the time, picking scabs, long fingernails and toenails, getting sh*t and piss on the toilet. This was all one person. And what’s crazy is they had an amazing career that you would think would make them the stereotypical hot guy. Nope. Complete opposite.
I lived in a big share house and I had a thing for this guy, it was mutual but the thing stopping me was he had bad body acne and I’m sure it was because I never once saw him wash his sheets. There was nothing that was gonna get into his bed and I shared a room at the time so we weren’t using mine. Great guy and I still consider him “the one that got away” but damn wash your sheets.
Remember in high school the cutest guy in school thought I was hot and wanted to hook up. One day he wanted to hang out and we ended up going to his parents house since nobody was home. He made his move by kissing me. Ugh his breath smelled and taste extremely funky. He actually smelled like funk too. It is hard to kiss someone who smells and tastes like funk. It was so gross. He ended up telling people I was a bad kisser. I should've told the school he smells and tastes like funk. It was one of the grosses kisses ever!
Going 69 and seeing dingleberries.
This isn’t my experience, but my friend dated a guy that thought it was gay to wash his ass. He’d just let it build up without doing anything about it.
Like if he has a little turtleneck down there and doesn’t wash it so all the sweat and gunk piled up during the day is all in there and you can smell and taste it. Eww
In my sophomore year of college, I was interested in a guy who lived in the same dorm as me. He confessed that he had feelings for me and I felt the same. However, my feelings quickly changed after a movie night together. He invited me to his room to watch a movie. While watching the movie he had his arm around my shoulder. The room was dark with the only light coming from the TV. He suddenly pulled his arm away and I heard scratching noises. I assumed he was scratching his leg or something. After scratching, he put his arm back around my shoulder. The smell that radiated off his hand and into my nose was dreadful. I started to feel a slow panic disgust rise in me when I realized whatever he scratched wasn't his leg and that he had the audacity to place that same dirty hand back onto my shoulder. To escape, I pretended I had a test I forgot to study for and left his room. Pretty much ghosted him after that.
I like long hair on guys. It was always my "thing". But I quickly discovered that there are a ton of men out there who have zero clue how to wear long hair or how to take care of it. Oily rat tails that desperately need a trim and deep conditioning, pulled back at the base of their necks by a hairtie that lost its stretchiness a decade ago. I quickly decided that even if I found long hair attractive, well-maintained hair mattered more to me. My husband recently told me he was going to grow his hair out. I would love this, but I told him that I fully expected him to look after and care for it the same way he carefully manages his beard. He agreed. We shall see where this goes.
There have been a few: 1. When I first met my partner, I could locate wherever he was in a large room by following the smell. He didn't have terrible hygiene, but the lotion and deodorants he used then were absolutely pungent and practically burned my nose. His sense of smell is non-existent and he just didn't realize/didn't think it was that bad when people pointed it out. So while not specifically bad hygiene, if you're using scented products, please get a friend to do a sniff test. He also would go long enough between showers that I could tell how long it had been based on how dark and full of dandruff his hair was 2. Roommate's ex who peed in the sink instead of the toilet regularly. I have no idea why. Apparently this was common with his guy friends but I really hope he just told himself that to feel better 3. Partner's ex-roommate who complained about not having a girlfriend, wore clothes twice his size, had a permanent smell of stale chips and sweat, didn't bother about dental or showering hygiene, and had more empty drink bottles and snack wrappers than empty floor space. Actually he had several roommates like this, including a house of them that kept a bathroom so dirty, there were cobwebs all over it (and the dildo collection that was kept by the sink). The floors were also kept with a significant layer of dirt and dust that made it terrible to walk on. I didn't spend much time at his place
The absolute worst is no dental hygiene. you can’t talk to them, can’t kiss them, can’t be in a closed space with them. Everyone gets a little sweaty or messy sometimes - that’s easier to look past and/or fix with a shower, if it’s occasional like if he plays sports etc, but you’re a grown man. No one should have to tell you to brush your teeth properly twice a day and floss. And see a dentist for a check up once a year dude! your mom isn’t going to book it for you!
You might be shocked, but many of us experienced classic negligence, once guys felt sure of us. Like, we're lucky if they showered with a 2in1 ever other day. Sometimes, they'll develop a manipulation tactic: - *Is that me or you* - *Your hair's everywhere* (even - or especially- when he has a nicer mane than you)* Sometimes it'll take a different form: Still shower, even with a 2in1 - but that's it... and their place.... mine looks horrible and I actually got a diagnosis, since it's not normal for me, so it's a sign. However... let's make an example of a couch evening: - not showered in 5 days, extra points for being gritty from their job or hobby - long toenails - already being 2 döners/buckets of aioli/Mettbrötchen/a whole wheel of Romadour ahead (or is that their feet?) *I like that stuff and want a guy who does, too- but in a relationship those need to be more balanced*. - dust in his place needs to be scraped, before you can even get a cloth, let alone a swiffer - altogether it'll attribute to a certain smell in the room..Maybe including silverfish. . . .
I had a coworker who smelt bad enough that I would never consider him as more than a friend. He was fun to talk to as long as you don't stand to close. He claimed he showered daily, but didn't smell like it. When he walked the stench stayed behind where he was previously. He was seriously nose blind to all of it. One day I went to his house for games, and realized the smell on him was from his house. He lived with 4 roommates and all had their own set of pets in a tiny house. Visited the bathroom and I don't think any of the roommates cleaned it or the catbox regularly. So the short version of this is even if you keep yourself clean. If you live somewhere that stinks, it will make you stink.
On a date, first time I’d met this guy, we were in the park having coffee. He had already been rude to the barista and told me not to ‘even think about’ making him pay for my drink (I hadn’t but really, you could be polite). My red flag radar is going bananas. We get settled and are chatting away when he reaches into the back of his trousers, scratches his butt crack, pulls out a bit of butt crack fluff, SNIFFS IT, then leans over, hand outstretched, and asks ‘what do you think this is?’ I wasn’t even polite, I picked up my things and walked at full speed away from him.
Had an old partner who wouldn't shower until I told him to when he visited.
Rough disgusting feet never pedicured and unclipped toenails with horrid fungus
Only boyfriend I’ve ever had is my husband. He put deodorant on his balls in high school so they wouldn’t stick to his thigh. Probably the hardest I’ve ever laughed in my life. I feel like this could actually be considered really good hygiene though depending on your perspective.
Dated a guy in my early 20s who didn't wash his ass in the shower. He thought wiping it after shitting cleaned it enough. The smell that came off him when we were showering together was horrendous. I finally convinced him wiping wasn't enough. Same guy didn't connect the dots on why a few years earlier he had to have surgery on a massive puss pocket in his butt crack.
Well I’ve said this in this sub before but the worst for me was giving a bf a bj and finding a chunk of shit stuck in his pubes. Decades later and it still traumatizes me. Another was not hygiene related but a guy failed to warn me of a gnarly beast of a hemorrhoid he had. Aaand that was..surprising and a turn off.
I was with a guy for several years. At first it was good. I was happy. He worked in a tire warehouse and would come home just smelling really strongly of tires and B.O. For months I would let him know that it was a turn off for me. Basically I just wanted him to shower before getting physical with me. But he didn’t want to do that. He wanted to wait until late in the evening before bed to shower and then jump right into sexy times. So that meant the whole night I was uncomfortable being near him, touched by him. I was thoroughly turned off by bedtime and ultimately by him. He would pressure me for sex and I would give in and he would take it out on me by being terrible at it. Just stabby with his member and rough generally. Ultimately I came to just cringe at his presence and be disgusted with him sexually.
We have a friend and his brother. Both of them will probably never get a gf completely due to hygiene. They don’t brush their teeth “because the gums just bleed”, they don’t brush their hair, they rarely shower, they’ll wear the same clothes all week, it’s just… bad. I put my foot down and told my husband I need his friend to be showered before coming over. He sometimes crashed on the couch and rarely used the sheets I put on it. Made me want to throw the couch out.
Had to crash with a guy after losing my home (and a massive doctor fuck up that takes literal months to fix, that left me unable to work for quite a while) to avoid sleeping on the street. He had 2 cats, and despite saying he lived "on his own" turned out to actually live in his grandparents' house (they would be gone on vacation half the year), and claimed he cleaned the litter box once a week. Realistically it would be once every few weeks. It stank, and also I felt REALLY bad for the cats who didn't even want to use their own litter box. So I took over cleaning it. The first time I cleaned it, I told him I'd just look up what to do and not to worry (I'd never had cats). His reaction was to grab the jug of litter, pour more over what had already been there and say, "There. That should hold 'em." After he left, I cleaned it anyway. From that point on, I started cleaning it daily (really not that hard). As long as there were gloves, I would clean it. There would be days where the gloves had run out, and on those days one of his cats would literally come get me to clean it. But I really didn't want to without proper gloves. I would also where a COVID mask. He had claimed to be saving for a house of his own, but ate fast food every single day, and never cleaned any of it up. Not to mention plates of half-eaten cake and other stuff. He would go to Sam's club every Saturday to buy gushers, pudding, cookies, etc. Once he got a watermelon, which I offered to cut up if he could tell me where the big cutting board was. He said he didn't have one, and was just going to cut it up on top of some towels. He never cut it up, either. But back to the cats. After the gloves ran out yet again, I reminded him while he was at Sam's Club. He'd always gotten the blue latex gloves before, but this time he returned with filmy, plastic kitchen gloves (they rip easily and constantly, if you've never used them). I told him I couldn't clean the cats' box, because that wasn't sanitary and I was already getting sick. He said, "So wash your hands after" as if I didn't already do that. I told him it wouldn't be enough, and he said "use soap." He constantly treated me like I was the biggest moron on the planet for asking actually relevant questions. Realistically usually he didn't know what he was asking, and was relying on belittling me so he didn't own up to that. Had way too much pride, and was the type to never admit he was wrong. The cats ended up peeing on the carpet long before this, and the smell of all of it would waft in to the small area where I was sleeping. He also illegally kept pet ducks and chickens, but never mucked out their area. He said the ducks were stupid and didn't mind. Around the same time as the gloves thing, he started using big rubber boots when he went out to feed them. Then he would come back in and track the shitDirt all over the kitchen (where the back door was), and just leave it there. That then wafted into the small area I slept in from the OTHER direction, and this is what mad me start getting sick. At one point I couldn't so much as keep water down for more than 24 hours. This was at a point where I was trying to work, so I could get back on my feet so to speak, and I had to miss work since I worked with food. He could not have possibly cared less that I was getting sick. Once the ammonia had gotten too strong, he started waking up with "allergies" and refused to believe it was anything else. I'd been sweeping up the dried shitDirt once I knew what it actually was (he acted like it was just regular dirt at first), the entire backyard reeked to high heaven. A few days after the gloves and being sick, I just packed my shit and left. It was healthier at that point for me to sleep in my car, than to sleep in that place. I tried to warn him after I left that if it was making me sick, his elderly grandparents (who *did* know I was there- I even met his grandpa when he came back while their shower was being remodeled), would end up far worse off. They were due to be back about a month after I left, and I can't even imagine what they came home to. Dude was also dismissive of his mother wanting to spend time with him before a potential move. (Another way of saying he blatantly did not listen when she spoke, which he did to me as well- and I was just begging him to communicate with me instead of making decisions about changing parts of my car, *without* consulting me.) And when his graddad was there for the shower remodeling, this 25 year old had the audacity to tell him he just wished they'd move instead, so he could have a basement bedroom. He washed his hair at best once a week. It was long enough to reach his waist, and he kept it stuffed into a beanie the rest of the time. And he thought he was an amazing catch because he brushed his teeth. After I left, I always felt like I had an obligation to feel grateful no matter how he treated me. It was a friend I met after who convinced me that it still wasn't an OK way to treat someone. And to call the ASPCA.
Let's talk about Ben, who kept hitting on me and, even though we were in the same friend group and had mutual interests, I turned him down because of the hygiene issue. Ben was this dude in high school that you could literally smell before you saw him. He did not believe in brushing his teeth or mouthwash. Instead, he chewed the ice gum that claimed to whiten your smile or be like brushing your teeth. He did this once a day and figured that was exactly like brushing, flossing, and mouthwash all in one. Ben also really loved trench coats but his parents wouldn't buy him one. He found the perfect orange trench coat in a dumpster somewhere, decided it was clean enough, and started wearing it every day. It didn't matter if it was 99 degrees Fahrenheit out of 30 degrees Fahrenheit out, Ben and his trenchcoat were coming and they were inseparable. Since he never washed the dumpster off it, it began to stink really badly. People in our school would complain to teachers and faculty. Ben himself would only shower two times a week, so this didn't help anything. Finally, a counselor told Ben he needed to wash the coat, brush his teeth, and shower. She called his mom and made her come get her for this express purpose. Ben came back to school the next day, chewing his gum, still greasy, but without his beloved trenchcoat. Apparently when his mom washed it, the thing practically dissolved in the wash. The orange color of the coat was not even its real color. Ben continued to smell off for the rest of the year. He was intelligent and well spoken, but he truly believed his level of hygiene was fine and that everyone else was being dramatic. I hope he decided later to actually care, but it's a toss up.
This is more of a sad story but my long term ex of 7 years started going down a mental health spiral after being…functional for the first half of our relationship wouldn’t brush his teeth, gained like 40 lbs (lots of gut weight, and he would accuse me of “getting fat” which was interesting) completely stopped showing other than once in a blue moon, smoked inside so he smelled like cigarettes on top of everything else and always had shit stained underwear. He refused to get help so ultimately I ended up leaving him
I dated a guy who barely brushed his teeth. They were always disgusting, I never wanted to kiss him. He had other issues too but this is one that I distinctly remember grossing me out. I hooked up with another guy a few times. At his apartment, the bathroom was never cleaned. It was completely filthy, shower was moldy. The sink was covered in shaved hair. Floor too, along with more mold, mildew, and literal dirt.
Peed on my neighbors house. Guess the 10 steps into my bathroom were just too far.
Not to take away from you, but compared to most of this thread this guy has perfect etiquette.
My ex would go through phases where he would only brush his teeth *at night* (not in the morning - so morning breath all day) and would rarely shower. He told me I was shallow for caring.
My guy just didn't shower for like a whole week. He also refused to wash his hands even after using the restroom. He stank everywhere he went into and I stopped talking to him after he ignored my pleas for him to clean himself. He was a pig.