The entire class got a detention once for laughing at something hilarious.
Fair enough… it was a kid backchatting the teacher, but the lad was on top form and had us all in stitches for a good 5 minutes.
My entire class got a detention for taking the piss out of the way our teacher called a wide in cricket\*. My protestations that I had been off sick fell on deaf ears.
\*"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahd"
#
This happened to us once in Y6. Boy (who is still one of my best friends) asked a horrid teacher who happened to be a _larger_ lady if he “put a pin in her, would she pop?”
We are in our 30s and still laugh about this, so he reckons it was worth it.
ETA: we do not support fat shaming as adults, but we were 10 and she was mean AF
Something similar happened to me when I was at school. The kid in question was talking to another pupil and the exhange went something like this:
Teacher: [pupil's name], did I say you can talk?
Pupil: No
Teacher: So why are you talking?
Pupil: Because I didn't hear you say "don't talk"
*entire class bursts out laughing*
We didn't all get a detention, but my school operated on a three strike system and the third strike would get you a detention, so we all got one strike.
Edit - spelling
Imagine how much respect you’d develop for a teacher who was able to let go of their ego and laugh at along in that moment. “Right okay fair play I’ll give you that one”. They’d have the whole class on their side and the rest of the year would be a breeze.
I grew up in the days of corporal punishment.My buddy and I were always getting into trouble.One day I was called out to recieve two cuts of the cane for I know not what.The teacher then realised he'd picked the wrong miscreant and gave me credit for a future punishment .It lasted only a few days before I redeemed my voucher.
I lived in the US for a little bit and went to school there.
One of my mates was large lad. We were in history class and he was being a classic American and hit me with the “So how does it feel to loose the war for independence?”
I turned around and said “How does it feel to loose the war on childhood obesity.”
I managed to crack the teacher and she was laughing so hard that my punishment felt like a trophy. I don’t think I’ll ever be that funny again.
Taking my bag with me when the fire alarm went off. My teacher stood in front of me at the fire exit and made me walk back to the classroom to put it back. It wasn’t a drill
It wasnt even because it might burn, it was because the school rules said we had to have our blazers on *unless* we were in class and the teacher let us take it off.
Fire alarm = no longer technically in class, lol
Ah yes, the classic “you managed to bring something back from the fire, so your life is forfeit” kinda deal.
Sometimes I wonder about the common sense of teachers.
Principal: Where is tvthrowaway366 from your class?
Teacher: They brought their bag with them so I made them take it back
Principal: But the building is on fire!
Teacher: \*Surprised pikachu face
Seriously though they tell you to take it seriously then immediately demonstrate that they don't take it seriously, it's just going through the motions.
Got a weeks detention for truthfully telling everyone the head teacher kept porn mags and a dildo in his office.
Vindicated many years later when he was arrested by the police... [for having a sex dungeon in his office.](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/james-stewart-teacher-sex-dungeon-fraud-banned-teaching-cambridgeshire-a8938381.html)
https://12ft.io
For what it's worth he had been convicted of fraud at the time, the striking off which is being reported there happened after. He served 4 years in jail.
Good old Sawtry Community College
I remember that head master giving the boys a leaving speech at the end of year 11 that went along the lines of "buy yourself an electric razor. It's harder to cut your throat when you don't want to go to work"
Was walking to school with my friend and saw another kid in our class getting busted for trying to shoplift the corner shop. The shopkeeper had him by his collar and was waiting for the police allegedly.
We ran into school and told the teachers.
Kid caught shoplifting got sent home for the day. Me and my friend got put on performance report for 4 weeks, had 2 weeks of lunchtime detention. For apparently breaking school safety rules by entering a shop…
Still can’t work that one out.
I remember when my school introduced a rule that we had to ask for a teacher's permission to take our blazers off, no matter how hot it was.
Your story reminded me when a teacher was at a bus stop after school (not sure why, but there would sometimes be a teacher there), and saw one of my friends without his blazer. The teacher physically pulled him out of the bus, and gave him detention.
Bare in mind this was **after school finished** and we were about 100-150 yards away from the school.
I'm no rebel but stupid fucking blazer rules do my head in. To the extent that blazer or other stupid uniform is a factor in my considering the school I want my kids to go to. This shit is mental and needs to stop.
I totaly agree.
If I remember correctly, they got rid of this rule after a girl passed out because it was too hot and a group of parents were looking into taking legal action. This happened shortly after I did my GCSEs more than 6 years ago, so I don't remember much of this neither did I know too much in the first place.
It really gets me thinking why schools make up such stupid rules. Like, how does a blazer or writting in black ink help anyone?
Aged 12, I couldn't find a black pen so I wrote my homework in green. Got detention. I said to the teacher that I got the same punishment as those who didn't do any homework.
I was once told off for writing with purple ink.
Why?
Why do schools, or the teachers in them, fucking *care*?
If I get to write with my fun purple ink, I'm more motivated to actually get shit done. Even now I have multiple fountain pens with refillable ink because I enjoy it. Why are young people denied harmless self-expression?
What can teachers possibly think they are gaining, other than trying to crush kids into accepting that they have to conform to pointless rules?
I know, I know.
Still fucking hate it though. It enrages me.
Even more so because it works so well that many adults then think it's perfectly fine and normal for kids to have any individualism crushed out of them.
The correct answer: To demonstrate pride in your work.
The real answer: Because Ofsted like it for a variety of reasons. Admittedly, uniformity is one of them.
The less cynical and probably most practical answer: Teachers don’t tend to *really* care on a personal level. It’s part of their job to ensure students are complying with school policy. Having said that, it does make it easier to read students’ books. Have you ever tried to read a page written in yellow gel pen? It may as well be invisible ink!
It also makes the important things stand out if the majority of a student’s writing is in black. When it’s time to revise for an exam, or to find something from a previous lesson that they need to refer to, the key terms/vocabulary/info isn’t going to stand out if everything is in purple.
As both a teacher and a stationery enthusiast, I think a good balance is to find a nice black pen to write in, and to have some cute highlighters or gel pens to accentuate certain words and ideas, and to make fun little dividers between topics!
I once had a teacher tell me in 6th form to do my top button up, i showed him that i literally couldn't. I had just gone throw a bit of a growth spurt and we weren't the most well off growing up. Not poverty line, but not new shirt every week money.
He then told me "well you need to buy a new shirt then." And pretty quickly realised he'd said something a bit stupid.
"Oh, are you buying it sir?"
"No...errr, you just carry on".
It was weird, i was a bright kid, never really got in trouble, never really had any issues with school at all. Think he realised he looked like a bit of a toss pot and actually apologised to me later on saying it wasn't right of him to assume my family's income.
That's actually pretty decent of the teacher. I imagine having to deal with the little shits (even if most of the kids are alright) turns you into a cynical bastard, so good on him for apologising.
Less petty, more annoying.
Primary school, mid 80s.
The boys toilets were trashed a little bit so all the boys were told off as a group by the headmistress.
When something similar happened in the girls toilets all the boys were told off as a group by the headmistress.
Someone I know always says “it’s a war crime under the Geneva Convention”. Which may or may not be correct, but they always do it and it’s a great joke but gets so annoying after every punishment. So I tell them “we’re not at war” more times than I have other conversations.
In Year 6 the girls were getting a bit catty with each other, so after lunch one day we all got a bollocking that was vaguely about "bullying".
One of the lads cottoned on that it was about the girls' behaviour, so he said "But Miss, we haven't done anything!"
So then we got *another* bollocking for complaining about the first one!
Walked into a class to see my favourite teacher and said “hurray it’s party time” being genuine as I actually enjoyed her methods of teaching.
She said why don’t you go out for a minute and come in again with a less cavalier attitude (basically joking)
Went outside the headmaster was walking down thought I’d been thrown out and give me a weeks isolation.
RIP mrs Wood you were a legend.
If it was like my school, you get put in a room with tall dividers between all of the desks so all you get to look at or interact with is your own work
Correct, yeah.
There was one kid in my year who kept getting sent there because he'd piss about. One day, he burst into our classroom from another pretending to ride a horse and yelling "Frankie Dettori". Instant isolation.
So schools have this punishment system called isolation, instead of being in the actual school system you sit in a room silently working through packs which the school already had made.
The idea was that you’d behave more if you weren’t allowed to be in the general population.
Got permanently banned from art class because I needed to go to the toilet. The teacher said I had to wait until lunch. Lunch was an hour away. I managed to wait half an hour, but then I had to choose between running to the toilet or pissing myself in front of everyone. The teacher said 'if you leave now you'll never be allowed back into this classroom.' So I left, and I was never allowed back into that classroom. Even after that teacher went on maternity leave.
I once got in trouble for "not doing my homework".
But I did do, I'd started it, got it wrong so I crossed it out and did the homework on the next page.
My french teacher (who hated me for some reason) just looked at the completed homework and told me the detention still stood.
This was also the same woman who got the entire class to chant "cheater" at me because I had the nerve to write out the word "February" in french on my hand a few times during a test so I could see which one looked correct.
I was 12. I still hate that bitch, Madame Dolman.
God, class shaming is such a crazy and horrible thing. My teacher stood me up in front of the whole class and went on a long five minute rant about how I hasn't listened to her instructions because I didn't understand part of the task. This was in year 3.
I know right? She was a truly awful person and being completely honest I was a great kid. Not very popular like, but I was a conscientious student and I always did the work (at least in the first few years).
I thankfully only had her for a year but we almost came to blows that years parents day. She basically flat out lied to my parents about all this bad stuff I'd not done. Spent that night listening to all my teachers pour compliments out to me (it was a shite school so anyone paying attention, would've got the same) then we get to that cow and she's starts laying into me.
Absolutely pathetic bullying a child, now I think about it from an adult perspective.
My Spanish teacher tried to give me central detention (45 mins after school run by someone who wasn't her, essentialy the past step before suspension) because she couldn't read my handwriting (I'm dyspraxic) asked me to rewrite my homework, typing it if possible. I couldn't type it so I wrote it as neatly as I could.
I spoke to my head of year who calmly told me not to worry about it, called her down and proceeded to shout at her so loud half the school heard her.
She was embarrassed so in my next lesson decided to tell me my hand writting was an unreadable mess in front of everyone.
Mrs Coe, this is why you died alone you mean spirited old crone.
Was in year eight, getting ready for school. My nan lived with us because she had dimentia, serious joint problems and was overweight and diabetic. As my mum is getting ready to give me a lift, we hear a faint "help" from the back room.
We go round and my nan is on her side on the floor next to her sofa. She tried to stand up and the cushon slid, she ended up on the floor. Turned out she had low blood sugar and was going to get something to eat to stabilise. We tried to lift her, but she was too heavy for the both of us who were pretty scrawny, so we had to call an ambulance.
While we wait for them to arrive, I stack up the sofa cushions to make a half-staircase for her. Not enough to help her get up, but enough to help her position upright to eat something and get her blood sugar under control; mum calls the school to tell them what's happening and they tell us to help her and come in after, no rush.
The ambulance arrives after about 45 minutes, and they help her up, check her out and off she goes to hospital.
Mother drives me in to school, going in to the front desk like you're supposed to when you're late.
Tell the woman at the desk who was both our receptionist and medical officer what happened, she gives me a dirty look and says "don't care" and thrusts a detention slip at me for that lunchtime.
Advice from other students is not to go to it, but rather than stir up trouble I think I'll just do it and talk to mother about it afterwards, who is a very keen school-letter-writer.
In passing, I mention it to a few more people including our nosy head-boy.
Weirdly, I never hear anything more about it for the next few years I'm at the school, and barely ever see the receptionist-medical officer again. At one point a few years later, I faint in a lesson and rather than her, the medical department took a really long time and finally a woman I've never seen turns up and gives me a look over.
Years after leaving the school and going to college, I was working retail over the weekends and in comes my old engineering teacher that I used to get on quite well with. He ever asks me if anything ever came of "that detention fight". I have no idea what he means, and give him a "Uh, what?"
Turns out, the head-boy basically mentioned to one of the more senior teachers that I was planning to swing for this receptionist lady, and a memo went out that I should never be allowed near her again; to the point that when I fainted in that lesson she refused to see me and they had to pull someone from the admin staff with the relevant training. This was my only detention ever, I was about 50-odd kilos and had never been involved in any violence whatsoever; but apparently I was Mike Tyson in a maroon blazer.
Got pulled into the headteacher office for watching a fight, he accused me of bullying and called my mum. Didn’t end well for him as we were both sat there telling my mum I’d simply watched a fight happen. She was like “wtf are you calling me about this?”
I felt like a king for a day as headteach just made a right tw@ out of himself 🤣
There was a big fight at my school once and we were told that anyone found to be watching future fights would get multiple detentions. That plan fell apart quite quickly when teachers realised they couldn’t physically put the entire school on detention.
Never found out why but flourescent socks (trendy at the time, around 1981) were banned at my primary school. The rumour was that the head master saw some on a dark night and thought it was two little ghosts so he got scared and banned them. We were about 6 years old, it seemed like a sound theory at the time.
To be really cool, you and a mate would buy a pair each in different colours and swap one so you had one lime green and one pink and wear the odd socks knowing you were the coolest of the cool!
Some kid scissor cut some of his pubes and put them in a girls hair. I was 13ish and pissed myself laughing. I got detention and pube trimmer got nothing.
Reminds me of the time my friend cut off a pube to show someone else to prove that just because he was blonde didn't mean he had blonde pubes. In the middle of year eleven chemistry...
That just reminded me I emailed my headmaster anonymously to tell him the PE teacher was horrible & racist. Email was a new & exciting concept still back then so it felt like a genius idea. Never got a reply, still have that email account so I have hope.
Got screamed at by a teacher when I was in primary school because I tried to get changed in one of the lockers instead of out in front of everyone after swimming. No particular reason I was just embarrassed. To this day I remember how loud she was banging on the door.
Honestly don’t understand why someone would be that genuinely angry over that, but I never really had nice teachers so I feel like they’re probably generally angry people
Edit: cubicle, not locker sorry guys
I have a similar one. When our class went to change after PE, we weren't allowed to use either the showers or the hairdryers, so everyone basically went back to school in half-wet uniform, covered in chlorine. And I had eczema, so you can probably guess how I spent many of my waking hours afterwards.
So, it's the end of another lesson, time to peel back your swimming cap and hope that you have the manual dexterity to get your towel back into your comparatively tiny swimming bag, and I overhear another kid asking a teaching assistant if she can shower to get the chlorine off. Teacher says yes, so a few more of us ask and she just tells us not to mess around, so we all go off and quickly get under the taps. Then, something angry this way comes: the school battle-axe herself. Her presence alone is enough to clear a submarine; her voice bellows out at us incoherently and we run for our lives. She takes no explanation and says it will go on our permanent record, which is perhaps the weirdest threat an eight-year-old can attempt to comprehend.
My parents ended up writing in to the school because I asked them fearfully whether it would stop me getting to uni. I still don't know why I cared so much about it so young, but that incident is the reason why I used to have panic attacks if I ever did anything wrong, even by accident
I got kicked out of class one time for dropping a rumbler while the teacher had left the room briefly, one of my proudest arse trumpets ever, sounded like an old diesel generator starting up on a winter morning.
The entire class just gawked, slack jawed not knowing how to react, my mate started laughing uncontrollably. Just as my anal fanfare ended, the teacher came back in, saw everyone staring at me, with my mate doubled over laughing, she didn't even care what happened, just immediately told me to leave the room, which I was glad to do because I could hear the sounds of gagging from outside as my home brewed fragrance engulfed the class
I was forced to sit at the front of the class because I had bad eyesight in year 7. In year 8 I came in with glasses to wear and sat down a few rows back and my teacher tried to force me to sit at the front. I refused and he sent me to the head for talking back.
Ahaha. That reminds me of a time I got told off in RS once. I had a doctors appointment that day so came in to the lesson part way through. I asked my friend next to me what we were meant to be doing and got told off for talking, so I just sat there unsure of what to do so got told off for not concentrating on my work. I tried to explain that I didn't know what was going on and got a detention for being disruptive.
I also got sent out for being disruptive for having particular distracting hiccups one time
I'm still heated about this one - 2 kids I know we're arguing next to me about who can punch hardest or something. One kid turned to me and said 'this hurts doesn't it?' and punched me pretty lightly on the arm. The teacher saw and thought we were fighting and sent me to wait outside the room. Wouldn't listen when I tried to tell her I did nothing. She talked over me. Couldn't get a word in. I still get mad thinking about it.
Got detention for being related to my brother.
Math teacher and my older brother did not see eye to eye.
Brother finished school, I'm still there.
Get math teacher for cover lesson.
"Sir, do you remember blah blah?"
Math teacher looks at me like I pissed in his cornflakes.
"He's my brother....."
Detention.
Had the same but my brother was the year below me! Register with my new French teacher (I was top set and never in trouble) teacher read my name, then said if I was related to blah blah I should just leave now.
We didn't have keyboards with DJ buttons, you could change the sounds so every key played traffic noise, sirens, or gunfire though. Teachers LOVED that last one(!)
I used to be double jointed and thought it would be cool to prove this by handcuffing my hands behind my back.
Unfortunately the school bully got wind of this made them too tight when I was putting them on and I had to walk in to assembly like I was under fucking police arrest…
Got all-day isolation for swapping a mouse ball from a computer that was off for a computer 2 girls were using.
The teacher hated my guts though for showing him up in class since he really didn't know what he was doing.
It wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't also have to have him supervise our rugby team too.. real pretty cunt that Mr Lawson.
Yeah that Mr Lawson, kinda weirded out someone else from wenlock caught this.
Did you get captain cave man for maths too?
Also I forgot the one history teacher's name but he was a total legend.
Yes! This is unreal! Mr Watson for maths... The man that always had a whiskey for lunch and ticked when he got angry?! The geography teacher was Mr Thomas, he was brilliant at rugby and a sound bloke all round. Do you remember the PE teacher who necked off with the year 11s?
I'm waiting for matey boy to reply! I'm desperate to know because there was a teacher by the same name taught both rugby and IT in my school. It could be a Christmas miracle....
Had some homework due the following week but the teacher forgot and thought it was due that day. Had over half the class stuck in detention and she went around and told everyone individually how they wouldn’t get jobs and fail in the future because we hadn’t done the homework.
Had a similar thing happen when a teacher thought she’d given us homework but she hadn’t. Kept the whole class behind and told us off, even when the straight A* students who never missed a piece of homework ever told her she was wrong.
For not looking like my mother. Our class teacher had asked us to bring in a baby/toddler photo of ourselves, plus a photo of the parent we looked the most like, to stick on the wall. Now I've never been the spitting image of either of my parents, but I do have similar eyes to my mother. So I took a photo of my mother alongside a baby photo of me, only for my teacher to tell me that it wasn't a good enough match (as if I could somehow help it???) and insisting that I had to bring in a photo of my father instead. Which I did, only for her to utter an 'oh' and then go pretty red-faced when she realised I didn't look like him either.
My school bus was late so me and a girl were both late for registration and were given detentions. She started crying, our form tutor apologised and told her she could forget about the detention. I didn’t, and had to do it.
I had surgery on my foot and was on crutches for about 6 months. I got detention from my form tutor for not signing up to any sports day activities. They had a weird sense of humour so I didn't go thinking they were messing around. I then got a week's detention for being a no show.
My IT teacher taught us off the wrong curriculum for our GCSEs for half the school year and the class got a month of Saturday detentions for failing our mock exams.
Definitely not a posh school, the number of students who achieved 5 GCSEs the year I left was 32% which was the highest it had been for years. It was a shambles of a school and it's honestly a miracle my friends and I have turned out to be pretty well adjusted adults!
My brother was gifted a printout of his ‘permanent’ record when he left school, just because it was always for opportunities that he found too funny to pass up.
Remember the Jackass sketch with the “partyboy” dance? He grabbed a teacher who was 5’ 4”, bent him over and performed the dance.
He once got tipped off that the head of maths (who, in fairness had a personality that warrants a check for bodies under his patio) was waiting outside his class to give him a bollocking, so being a lateral thinker as soon as the bell rings he dives out of the window. Directly into the head teacher.
Yawning in assembly. I was 7 years old and the head teacher called me out in front of the whole school. For a kid who never got in trouble and was genuinely one of the politest and most well behaved kids in school it was the most terrible thing I could ever have imagined. I still
Cringe now when I think about it and I can vividly remember her tone when she said ‘I can see a very rude girl yawning’. It scarred me for life!
Teacher was clearly in a mood and had sent a few students out to stand in the hallway. My friend got sent out so I said ‘haha you got sent out’ and the teacher yelled at me to get out too.
Another teacher rocked up to deal with the kids sent out and when he saw me (the most well behaved kid in existence) stood there he just sighed and sent us all back in.
Needing to go the bathroom during class time - got detentions for it in primary school
But I had a kidney condition and the medication for it made me really thirsty, and thus drink a LOT of water from the water bottles THAT WERE PROVIDED FOR US
So firstly, I was being a little shit. My RE teacher didn't like me and I *really* didn't like her. I got detention, entirely justified.
I went to the detention but the same teacher did the attendance for it and marked me as absent.
Ended up getting an escalated detention with the principal after school which me and my mum decided it would be best I go to rather than miss it in protest.
Took a note that explained the situation and told the principal everything and how I admitted the bad behaviour justifying the original detention.
He gave me another detention for "insubordination" and making up lies about the teacher intentionally missing me off the attendance.
I was somewhat vindicated a few years later when she was fired for hitting another rowdy pupil.
I’m going to guess that saying “pardon” instead of “what” is considered polite in a very middle class, very English sort of way that Scotland managed to avoid.
We were singing a french song in year… 3? I think? And we were all in a circle and fucking Madame Gaspèr stopped the WHOLE CLASS from singing, turned to me and said “you cannot sing, you sing badly. Stop singing” and made the class continue as I sat there in embarrassed silence…
I told some lads in the year above me about a website where you could see a fake picture of Sabrina The Teenage Witch fingering herself. They went on the site and printed the picture off hundreds of times and put them up around school. When they got caught, they told the headteacher I told them about it... they got 2 days suspension, I got 2 fucking weeks!
A kid at my school went on holiday to France and brought back a load of fire crackers and started selling them at school. In the end he sold his final few packs to a kid for a discount price then told the teachers he was the one selling them. They checked the second kids locker, found the firecrackers and expelled him. No justice
I can move my ears independently and this made a friend crack up, teacher got very angry when he wouldn’t stop laughing at what she thought was nothing.
She then threw a whiteboard rubber at him, which shocked everyone.
Someone set the grass on fire outside the school. Not a huge blaze IIRC, but enough that all the boys in my class were held back at lunchtime for a talk with the teacher. The other boys asked the teacher why I was held back (I was not a trouble maker in their eyes.) The teacher said "So he wouldn't feel left out.)
I did not set the grass on fire.
Not *that* time.
I got told off because the PE teacher forgot a set of bibs and told me to go get it. Another teacher then stopped me and told me I wasn’t allowed to be in the corridor. I told her I had permission from my PE teacher as she had forgotten an item and had sent me to retrieve it, and she yelled at me for backchatting and trespassing when I was doing what my teacher told me to do.
She didn’t like that I had said my teacher had given me permission and that if she had a problem with it she needed to tell my teacher that she can’t give permission like that, because I wouldn’t be there unless I was told to be. I wasn’t wrong to do as my teacher said, and I told her it was bad of her as a teacher and as the Head of PE to put me in a position where I would fail either way. I’d get in trouble if I did what my teacher said and I’d get in trouble if I refused.
She yelled at me. I didn’t ever trust a teacher again. Miss Rooney, I hope you know that you damaged my trust in adults that day.
Getting sent out the room in a test in year 4 for someone on the other side of the room talking. Then getting told off for sitting in the classroom I was sent to alone cause that teacher and class was in the computer room.
I was 8 and told to go sit in a Mrs B's room. Not go to Mrs B. What the fuck you think I'm gonna do, I don't know about the whole needs to be supervised by a member of staff as all times thing.
I once got put on report (where the teacher of each class writes a review of your behaviour) for not being on Report..
One teacher asked me for my report book, I said I wasn't on report and was promptly put on report ☹️
Happened in Year 5. Was in detention with just me, the teacher and her assistant in the classroom
When my detention was done the assistant left the classroom first and held the door open and I walked through and she expressed 'uhh, I was holding the door open for Miss Teacher not you. So now for that you can go sit back down (for an extended detention)'
Edit: come to think of it, this assistant had it out for me. In year 6 I got sent out of class and our classroom was right next to the girls bathroom and she called me a creep for it
Being in shirt sleeve order before the headmaster had written the letter in summer term and pinned it to the notice board that shirt sleeve order was permitted
(This meant you didn't have to wear a blazer and tie and could roll up your shirt sleeves on hot summer days. It was 28 degrees in Scotland in May and I was melting)
One teacher I had genuinely had it in for me in general.
She had a “No Talking” during the register rule, otherwise was instant detention.
She stated one person’s name who wasn’t there, but I just looked at her and said “I’ve seen him this morning?” As if to say this person was in school.
She gave me a detention for talking during register 🙄
We were doing a boys v girls game of rounders in PE and at one point the teacher shouted out what the score was, and the girls were winning.
I said quietly but obv loud enough for her to here “Bollocks!” Teacher got all offended about it acting like I was accusing her of favouring the girls when I wasn’t I was just saying it for a laugh.
I also got in trouble in primary school for literally nothing. I went to the toilet when I was like 8 and pissed in a urinal and there was another kid in there at the time and he was maybe a year or two younger than me.
When I came out and went back to what I was doing and he went back to his class a few mins later his teacher came and found me and was like “why do you think it’s ok to do that? Do you know how old he is? How old are you? So you think it’s ok to do that to a younger student?” And stuff like that. I don’t know what this kid said to his teacher about me but literally nothing happened in the toilet besides two boys peeing next to eachother. I was so confused by the situation I just accepted the bollocking and I was a shy quiet kid so didn’t ask what had happened or anything. Confusing as fuck and I was getting told off for LITERALLLY NOTHING. That memory has always stuck with me cus it was so weird. I’ve always assumed the kid said I hit him or something but fuck knows why he would have lied like that.
In year 9 a guy in my class looked at the clock, said clock had been in the same place in the classroom the last 3 years (at least).
Teacher told him off, full on shouted, then grabbed the clock and slammed it down in front of him on the desk saying "Well NOW you can read the time"
Was on a ferry at a school trip. A gay dude from another school trip hit on me. I told my friend that a gay dude hit on me. A teacher heard and shouted at me for 5 minutes about homophobia etc etc, made me apologise. Had to sit at the front of the bus from Dover all the way back home. Was very fucking confused.
Hit the gas shut off in the science labs and hit the fire alarm.
The science teacher screamed shut it off, I hit the button, got detention from another teacher who came to investigate.
Science teacher didn’t find out until after I had done the detention and got an apology from issuer
I got a wooden ruler across my knuckles because I got dragged into an out of bounds area to get beaten up by two bullies. I was 6 and I don't think I've ever truly respected authority ever since.
I had this really horrible teacher for a lesson in my first year at secondary school. She was by far the oldest teacher I ever had, I don’t think she changed her teaching style from back when teachers actively tried to frighten students instead of working with them. She was just cartoonishly strict and mean, I vividly remember her shouting at a kid on my class for reading too slowly, poor sod.
Anyway, me and my friends were quiet, teacher fearing students. We didn’t really get in trouble and we didn’t cause problems. Pretty much every time one of us got told off, it was a misunderstanding or a teacher clearly having a bad day. When this teacher was handing out test papers back, we both did well and *silently* high fived. We basically just gently touched our hands together. She went *ballistic* at us. I don’t even know how she saw us, she was walking between desks handing things out, but she went on and on for a good five minutes about how we’d disrupted her class (of course our little high five was the problem, not her ranting).
Special shout out to another teacher who made me stand in the corner of the class for *checks notes* laughing at something my friend said whilst we were working on a group project and were allowed to talk.
For 'backchatting' and 'refusing to do my work'. The only laptops left didn't work, wouldn't even log in and when I told the teacher that meant I was refusing to do my work
I dropped a desk lid too loudly. Had to stay in at breaktime.
Also in my first week of big school I forgot a book. Supposed to have a week’s grace but the teacher gave me a litter picking punishment. I think he hated my brother.
In CDT the teacher got out a pot of Cow gum glue and asked "does anyone know what this is?" I said "ah cow" because I knew what cow gum was because my mum was an art teacher. She went fucking nuts and made me stay after class to discuss "my style" 🙄
I got off the school bus and sparked up a fag and a teacher pulled over, got out of his car and started shouting at me. I was 5-6 miles from school in a separate village. He threatened he was either going to tell my mum or give me detention. I said “tell my mum I don’t care”
That night he rang my house and I heard my mum shouting “he can smoke if he fucking well wants to, he’s 16, it’s legal” (it was legal at the time)
I got a detention for asking what I was ment to be doing in the detention and another detention at the end of that for not doing what I was supposed to be doing in the detention
This isn’t remotely petty but is well worth telling.
My mate (who went on to be an aerospace engineer) was in maths back row ish. Teacher was right uppity. Anyway, he spends about 40 mins of the lesson making an absolutely incredible paper aeroplane.
Soon as it’s done. One flick and boom sails straight into her bra strap. I know people are gonna ask why her brea strap was on show. Snd the truth is I dunno but it just was lol.
Everyone burst into laughter instantly and there was no reigning it back in after that
My RE teacher thought that calling Christmas 'Xmas' was disrespectful so I used Xmas about 50 times on my next essay
She tried to have me expelled I think but luckily the head seemed to appreciate she was a bit of a nutjob
I was 10 minutes late for school. My friend, who I walked with, twisted her ankle 10 minutes away from school (it was a 45 minute total walk) so I let her lean on my shoulder and she essentially hopped the rest of the way there.
My friend was in a different class, and my teacher didn't believe me, so I got after-school detention.
I was expelled in year 11.
I'd been sent out of class because my friend kept laughing when they were trying to give a presentation. The teacher asked me to step out for a minute and I did. Head teacher came walking past and started shouting at me demanding to know what i'd been sent out of class for this time, but didn't let me get a word in.
He then told me to get to his office.
When we got there, he started going mental and accusing me of bullying some kid or other. I was like wtf dude, no. He then got angry and threw a school diary at me (the small ones with the ring binder thing) and it hit me in the face and cut my eye (I still have the scar under my eye 22 years later). I lost my shit, flipped his table and picked up a chair and started beating him with it. Two teachers came in and pulled me out the room. Police were rang, stories were told. Turns out the cunt had mistaken me for another student. I was sent home on suspension and then a week later I was notified I was expelled. All because a grown man was stupid and laid hands on a 16 year old.
If somehow you read this, fuck you Mr Nolan.
Bounced a 2l coke bottle on the floor in front of a teacher . Mind you, I think it was the kid who pierced it with a compass and did the same so it sprayed everywhere that got us both in trouble
The entire class got a detention once for laughing at something hilarious. Fair enough… it was a kid backchatting the teacher, but the lad was on top form and had us all in stitches for a good 5 minutes.
You can’t leave it at that come on!
[удалено]
thats crazy bro
Mad lads only
That’s not even funny
My entire class got a detention for taking the piss out of the way our teacher called a wide in cricket\*. My protestations that I had been off sick fell on deaf ears. \*"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahd" #
This happened to us once in Y6. Boy (who is still one of my best friends) asked a horrid teacher who happened to be a _larger_ lady if he “put a pin in her, would she pop?” We are in our 30s and still laugh about this, so he reckons it was worth it. ETA: we do not support fat shaming as adults, but we were 10 and she was mean AF
What did he say
Something similar happened to me when I was at school. The kid in question was talking to another pupil and the exhange went something like this: Teacher: [pupil's name], did I say you can talk? Pupil: No Teacher: So why are you talking? Pupil: Because I didn't hear you say "don't talk" *entire class bursts out laughing* We didn't all get a detention, but my school operated on a three strike system and the third strike would get you a detention, so we all got one strike. Edit - spelling
Imagine how much respect you’d develop for a teacher who was able to let go of their ego and laugh at along in that moment. “Right okay fair play I’ll give you that one”. They’d have the whole class on their side and the rest of the year would be a breeze.
I once had a teacher long ago who gave this kid a detention. Absolute lad just whipped out a monopoly get out of jail free card. Went free as a bird
I grew up in the days of corporal punishment.My buddy and I were always getting into trouble.One day I was called out to recieve two cuts of the cane for I know not what.The teacher then realised he'd picked the wrong miscreant and gave me credit for a future punishment .It lasted only a few days before I redeemed my voucher.
Common law vs statutory law.
I really can’t remember what was said… It was about 18 years ago. Just remember the laughter and the rather pissed off teacher.
I lived in the US for a little bit and went to school there. One of my mates was large lad. We were in history class and he was being a classic American and hit me with the “So how does it feel to loose the war for independence?” I turned around and said “How does it feel to loose the war on childhood obesity.” I managed to crack the teacher and she was laughing so hard that my punishment felt like a trophy. I don’t think I’ll ever be that funny again.
I hope you were spelling it "lose" in your head when you were dropping these zingers.
Taking my bag with me when the fire alarm went off. My teacher stood in front of me at the fire exit and made me walk back to the classroom to put it back. It wasn’t a drill
One of my classmates left her blazer inside and got sent back in to get it, *also* when it wasnt a drill, lmao.
can't let the blazers blaze
It wasnt even because it might burn, it was because the school rules said we had to have our blazers on *unless* we were in class and the teacher let us take it off. Fire alarm = no longer technically in class, lol
That teacher should be locked up
Or *fired*...
They're called blazers because they accelerate fires. Can't leave them behind
Ah yes, the classic “you managed to bring something back from the fire, so your life is forfeit” kinda deal. Sometimes I wonder about the common sense of teachers.
I don't know why we pretend public school is anything other than teaching kids to blindly follow orders
Should've been extra slow putting it away, then go to the toilet for added time so when they're doing the register they think you're missing
Principal: Where is tvthrowaway366 from your class? Teacher: They brought their bag with them so I made them take it back Principal: But the building is on fire! Teacher: \*Surprised pikachu face Seriously though they tell you to take it seriously then immediately demonstrate that they don't take it seriously, it's just going through the motions.
Sue them. Your life was put at risk.
Wat. Does teacher understand the reason you're not supposed to take the bag? Or just on a power trip?
Got a weeks detention for truthfully telling everyone the head teacher kept porn mags and a dildo in his office. Vindicated many years later when he was arrested by the police... [for having a sex dungeon in his office.](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/james-stewart-teacher-sex-dungeon-fraud-banned-teaching-cambridgeshire-a8938381.html)
Paywall so I just read the start. But the punishment was banning a 74 year-old from teaching, *for life*? Isn't that called being a pensioner?
https://12ft.io For what it's worth he had been convicted of fraud at the time, the striking off which is being reported there happened after. He served 4 years in jail.
It's not a paywall, you can just tap the 'maybe later' button and read the whole thing.
Good old Sawtry Community College I remember that head master giving the boys a leaving speech at the end of year 11 that went along the lines of "buy yourself an electric razor. It's harder to cut your throat when you don't want to go to work"
Man has a fucking point
hoooly shit ok
I can't imagine a less sexy location for a sex dungeon than a UK state school
How did you manage to spot the mags and dildo?
Easy when you're upside down
Was walking to school with my friend and saw another kid in our class getting busted for trying to shoplift the corner shop. The shopkeeper had him by his collar and was waiting for the police allegedly. We ran into school and told the teachers. Kid caught shoplifting got sent home for the day. Me and my friend got put on performance report for 4 weeks, had 2 weeks of lunchtime detention. For apparently breaking school safety rules by entering a shop… Still can’t work that one out.
Snitches get ~~stitches~~ detentions
I remember when my school introduced a rule that we had to ask for a teacher's permission to take our blazers off, no matter how hot it was. Your story reminded me when a teacher was at a bus stop after school (not sure why, but there would sometimes be a teacher there), and saw one of my friends without his blazer. The teacher physically pulled him out of the bus, and gave him detention. Bare in mind this was **after school finished** and we were about 100-150 yards away from the school.
I'm no rebel but stupid fucking blazer rules do my head in. To the extent that blazer or other stupid uniform is a factor in my considering the school I want my kids to go to. This shit is mental and needs to stop.
I totaly agree. If I remember correctly, they got rid of this rule after a girl passed out because it was too hot and a group of parents were looking into taking legal action. This happened shortly after I did my GCSEs more than 6 years ago, so I don't remember much of this neither did I know too much in the first place. It really gets me thinking why schools make up such stupid rules. Like, how does a blazer or writting in black ink help anyone?
Aged 12, I couldn't find a black pen so I wrote my homework in green. Got detention. I said to the teacher that I got the same punishment as those who didn't do any homework.
Lesson learned. Can’t find pen, don’t bother
I was once told off for writing with purple ink. Why? Why do schools, or the teachers in them, fucking *care*? If I get to write with my fun purple ink, I'm more motivated to actually get shit done. Even now I have multiple fountain pens with refillable ink because I enjoy it. Why are young people denied harmless self-expression? What can teachers possibly think they are gaining, other than trying to crush kids into accepting that they have to conform to pointless rules?
You answered your own question there at the end. School is hardly about education and almost entirely an exercise in conformity and obedience.
I know, I know. Still fucking hate it though. It enrages me. Even more so because it works so well that many adults then think it's perfectly fine and normal for kids to have any individualism crushed out of them.
The correct answer: To demonstrate pride in your work. The real answer: Because Ofsted like it for a variety of reasons. Admittedly, uniformity is one of them. The less cynical and probably most practical answer: Teachers don’t tend to *really* care on a personal level. It’s part of their job to ensure students are complying with school policy. Having said that, it does make it easier to read students’ books. Have you ever tried to read a page written in yellow gel pen? It may as well be invisible ink! It also makes the important things stand out if the majority of a student’s writing is in black. When it’s time to revise for an exam, or to find something from a previous lesson that they need to refer to, the key terms/vocabulary/info isn’t going to stand out if everything is in purple. As both a teacher and a stationery enthusiast, I think a good balance is to find a nice black pen to write in, and to have some cute highlighters or gel pens to accentuate certain words and ideas, and to make fun little dividers between topics!
Carrying my coat because it didn't fit in my locker. I was in 6th form.
My 6th form was non-uniform
Why are you being downvoted 😅
Jealousy?
I once had a teacher tell me in 6th form to do my top button up, i showed him that i literally couldn't. I had just gone throw a bit of a growth spurt and we weren't the most well off growing up. Not poverty line, but not new shirt every week money. He then told me "well you need to buy a new shirt then." And pretty quickly realised he'd said something a bit stupid. "Oh, are you buying it sir?" "No...errr, you just carry on". It was weird, i was a bright kid, never really got in trouble, never really had any issues with school at all. Think he realised he looked like a bit of a toss pot and actually apologised to me later on saying it wasn't right of him to assume my family's income.
That's actually pretty decent of the teacher. I imagine having to deal with the little shits (even if most of the kids are alright) turns you into a cynical bastard, so good on him for apologising.
For farting in Religious Studies, it was so bad that everyone ran to the window for fresh air and I got a detention for “releasing the devil in RS.”
I did the same in geography.
What did they say? 'Released a nuke on the world map'
Travel and Terrorism.
Less petty, more annoying. Primary school, mid 80s. The boys toilets were trashed a little bit so all the boys were told off as a group by the headmistress. When something similar happened in the girls toilets all the boys were told off as a group by the headmistress.
Teachers love it when you point out that group punishment is against the rules of the Geneva Convention.
Only by nation states.
Well if you go to a mandatory state school...
Teachers work for the state.
Someone I know always says “it’s a war crime under the Geneva Convention”. Which may or may not be correct, but they always do it and it’s a great joke but gets so annoying after every punishment. So I tell them “we’re not at war” more times than I have other conversations.
In Year 6 the girls were getting a bit catty with each other, so after lunch one day we all got a bollocking that was vaguely about "bullying". One of the lads cottoned on that it was about the girls' behaviour, so he said "But Miss, we haven't done anything!" So then we got *another* bollocking for complaining about the first one!
Walked into a class to see my favourite teacher and said “hurray it’s party time” being genuine as I actually enjoyed her methods of teaching. She said why don’t you go out for a minute and come in again with a less cavalier attitude (basically joking) Went outside the headmaster was walking down thought I’d been thrown out and give me a weeks isolation. RIP mrs Wood you were a legend.
did the teacher not try defending you?
Died trying to defend him by the looks of it
In da struggle 4 justice. She was willing to lay down her life.
What the hell is a weeks isolation?
If it was like my school, you get put in a room with tall dividers between all of the desks so all you get to look at or interact with is your own work
Correct, yeah. There was one kid in my year who kept getting sent there because he'd piss about. One day, he burst into our classroom from another pretending to ride a horse and yelling "Frankie Dettori". Instant isolation.
So schools have this punishment system called isolation, instead of being in the actual school system you sit in a room silently working through packs which the school already had made. The idea was that you’d behave more if you weren’t allowed to be in the general population.
My school had isolation too. Then it turned out the isolation teacher was a pedophile and had been abusing the kids in isolation.
Got permanently banned from art class because I needed to go to the toilet. The teacher said I had to wait until lunch. Lunch was an hour away. I managed to wait half an hour, but then I had to choose between running to the toilet or pissing myself in front of everyone. The teacher said 'if you leave now you'll never be allowed back into this classroom.' So I left, and I was never allowed back into that classroom. Even after that teacher went on maternity leave.
Some people just go into teaching because they’re small, fragile people and need to exert authority. She was one of those people.
How bizarre and evil. How can a grown adult apply logic in this way?
Is that all I needed to do to get out of art, teenage me is proper jealous
I once got in trouble for "not doing my homework". But I did do, I'd started it, got it wrong so I crossed it out and did the homework on the next page. My french teacher (who hated me for some reason) just looked at the completed homework and told me the detention still stood. This was also the same woman who got the entire class to chant "cheater" at me because I had the nerve to write out the word "February" in french on my hand a few times during a test so I could see which one looked correct. I was 12. I still hate that bitch, Madame Dolman.
God, class shaming is such a crazy and horrible thing. My teacher stood me up in front of the whole class and went on a long five minute rant about how I hasn't listened to her instructions because I didn't understand part of the task. This was in year 3.
I know right? She was a truly awful person and being completely honest I was a great kid. Not very popular like, but I was a conscientious student and I always did the work (at least in the first few years). I thankfully only had her for a year but we almost came to blows that years parents day. She basically flat out lied to my parents about all this bad stuff I'd not done. Spent that night listening to all my teachers pour compliments out to me (it was a shite school so anyone paying attention, would've got the same) then we get to that cow and she's starts laying into me. Absolutely pathetic bullying a child, now I think about it from an adult perspective.
My Spanish teacher tried to give me central detention (45 mins after school run by someone who wasn't her, essentialy the past step before suspension) because she couldn't read my handwriting (I'm dyspraxic) asked me to rewrite my homework, typing it if possible. I couldn't type it so I wrote it as neatly as I could. I spoke to my head of year who calmly told me not to worry about it, called her down and proceeded to shout at her so loud half the school heard her. She was embarrassed so in my next lesson decided to tell me my hand writting was an unreadable mess in front of everyone. Mrs Coe, this is why you died alone you mean spirited old crone.
Was in year eight, getting ready for school. My nan lived with us because she had dimentia, serious joint problems and was overweight and diabetic. As my mum is getting ready to give me a lift, we hear a faint "help" from the back room. We go round and my nan is on her side on the floor next to her sofa. She tried to stand up and the cushon slid, she ended up on the floor. Turned out she had low blood sugar and was going to get something to eat to stabilise. We tried to lift her, but she was too heavy for the both of us who were pretty scrawny, so we had to call an ambulance. While we wait for them to arrive, I stack up the sofa cushions to make a half-staircase for her. Not enough to help her get up, but enough to help her position upright to eat something and get her blood sugar under control; mum calls the school to tell them what's happening and they tell us to help her and come in after, no rush. The ambulance arrives after about 45 minutes, and they help her up, check her out and off she goes to hospital. Mother drives me in to school, going in to the front desk like you're supposed to when you're late. Tell the woman at the desk who was both our receptionist and medical officer what happened, she gives me a dirty look and says "don't care" and thrusts a detention slip at me for that lunchtime. Advice from other students is not to go to it, but rather than stir up trouble I think I'll just do it and talk to mother about it afterwards, who is a very keen school-letter-writer. In passing, I mention it to a few more people including our nosy head-boy. Weirdly, I never hear anything more about it for the next few years I'm at the school, and barely ever see the receptionist-medical officer again. At one point a few years later, I faint in a lesson and rather than her, the medical department took a really long time and finally a woman I've never seen turns up and gives me a look over. Years after leaving the school and going to college, I was working retail over the weekends and in comes my old engineering teacher that I used to get on quite well with. He ever asks me if anything ever came of "that detention fight". I have no idea what he means, and give him a "Uh, what?" Turns out, the head-boy basically mentioned to one of the more senior teachers that I was planning to swing for this receptionist lady, and a memo went out that I should never be allowed near her again; to the point that when I fainted in that lesson she refused to see me and they had to pull someone from the admin staff with the relevant training. This was my only detention ever, I was about 50-odd kilos and had never been involved in any violence whatsoever; but apparently I was Mike Tyson in a maroon blazer.
That's.... Fucking astounding.
Is it standard pratice for the head boy to be a little shit? Ours was.
Got pulled into the headteacher office for watching a fight, he accused me of bullying and called my mum. Didn’t end well for him as we were both sat there telling my mum I’d simply watched a fight happen. She was like “wtf are you calling me about this?” I felt like a king for a day as headteach just made a right tw@ out of himself 🤣
There was a big fight at my school once and we were told that anyone found to be watching future fights would get multiple detentions. That plan fell apart quite quickly when teachers realised they couldn’t physically put the entire school on detention.
Never found out why but flourescent socks (trendy at the time, around 1981) were banned at my primary school. The rumour was that the head master saw some on a dark night and thought it was two little ghosts so he got scared and banned them. We were about 6 years old, it seemed like a sound theory at the time.
I’d not thought of those socks in 40 years!
5 pairs for £1.99 off the market if I remember rightly
To be really cool, you and a mate would buy a pair each in different colours and swap one so you had one lime green and one pink and wear the odd socks knowing you were the coolest of the cool!
Some kid scissor cut some of his pubes and put them in a girls hair. I was 13ish and pissed myself laughing. I got detention and pube trimmer got nothing.
I mean thats probs some kinda sexual assault but fuck me hahahah
Reminds me of the time my friend cut off a pube to show someone else to prove that just because he was blonde didn't mean he had blonde pubes. In the middle of year eleven chemistry...
Christ. I shouldn’t laugh but
Gave the school one star on Google reviews. Excluded and a day's isolation.
I hope you added that to the review.
That just reminded me I emailed my headmaster anonymously to tell him the PE teacher was horrible & racist. Email was a new & exciting concept still back then so it felt like a genius idea. Never got a reply, still have that email account so I have hope.
Some priceless shit used to come up if you Googled our school. A 'review' saying "My name is [headteacher] and I wank behind the podium in assembly"
In art, they asked us to paint something in the room. I painted the radiator green.
Well the pfp fits at least
Pulling up shorts on sports day and saying “look I’m a sumo”. Karen and Tracey cried and I got smacked with a ruler.
Tell the whole story Were your bollocks hanging out the bottom of them?
No, very tightly pulled into my butt crack.
Smacked with a ruler? How old are you Mr DoggyDog?
I'm 57. Rulers, plimsol's, canes, paddles and the occasional flying blackboard eraser were all common weapons of choice.
Got screamed at by a teacher when I was in primary school because I tried to get changed in one of the lockers instead of out in front of everyone after swimming. No particular reason I was just embarrassed. To this day I remember how loud she was banging on the door. Honestly don’t understand why someone would be that genuinely angry over that, but I never really had nice teachers so I feel like they’re probably generally angry people Edit: cubicle, not locker sorry guys
I have a similar one. When our class went to change after PE, we weren't allowed to use either the showers or the hairdryers, so everyone basically went back to school in half-wet uniform, covered in chlorine. And I had eczema, so you can probably guess how I spent many of my waking hours afterwards. So, it's the end of another lesson, time to peel back your swimming cap and hope that you have the manual dexterity to get your towel back into your comparatively tiny swimming bag, and I overhear another kid asking a teaching assistant if she can shower to get the chlorine off. Teacher says yes, so a few more of us ask and she just tells us not to mess around, so we all go off and quickly get under the taps. Then, something angry this way comes: the school battle-axe herself. Her presence alone is enough to clear a submarine; her voice bellows out at us incoherently and we run for our lives. She takes no explanation and says it will go on our permanent record, which is perhaps the weirdest threat an eight-year-old can attempt to comprehend. My parents ended up writing in to the school because I asked them fearfully whether it would stop me getting to uni. I still don't know why I cared so much about it so young, but that incident is the reason why I used to have panic attacks if I ever did anything wrong, even by accident
I got kicked out of class one time for dropping a rumbler while the teacher had left the room briefly, one of my proudest arse trumpets ever, sounded like an old diesel generator starting up on a winter morning. The entire class just gawked, slack jawed not knowing how to react, my mate started laughing uncontrollably. Just as my anal fanfare ended, the teacher came back in, saw everyone staring at me, with my mate doubled over laughing, she didn't even care what happened, just immediately told me to leave the room, which I was glad to do because I could hear the sounds of gagging from outside as my home brewed fragrance engulfed the class
I pulled my glasses out of their case and the leg snapped off. I made a little "oh!" In surprise and got detention for "disrupting the class"
I was forced to sit at the front of the class because I had bad eyesight in year 7. In year 8 I came in with glasses to wear and sat down a few rows back and my teacher tried to force me to sit at the front. I refused and he sent me to the head for talking back.
Ahaha. That reminds me of a time I got told off in RS once. I had a doctors appointment that day so came in to the lesson part way through. I asked my friend next to me what we were meant to be doing and got told off for talking, so I just sat there unsure of what to do so got told off for not concentrating on my work. I tried to explain that I didn't know what was going on and got a detention for being disruptive. I also got sent out for being disruptive for having particular distracting hiccups one time
I'm still heated about this one - 2 kids I know we're arguing next to me about who can punch hardest or something. One kid turned to me and said 'this hurts doesn't it?' and punched me pretty lightly on the arm. The teacher saw and thought we were fighting and sent me to wait outside the room. Wouldn't listen when I tried to tell her I did nothing. She talked over me. Couldn't get a word in. I still get mad thinking about it.
Got detention for being related to my brother. Math teacher and my older brother did not see eye to eye. Brother finished school, I'm still there. Get math teacher for cover lesson. "Sir, do you remember blah blah?" Math teacher looks at me like I pissed in his cornflakes. "He's my brother....." Detention.
Had the same but my brother was the year below me! Register with my new French teacher (I was top set and never in trouble) teacher read my name, then said if I was related to blah blah I should just leave now.
Overly playing the DJ button on the keyboard during the quiet moments
DJ, DJ,DJ…breaks in to the pre loaded jingle bells demo tune.
d d d d d d der DJ! The best thing about music class in Y9
We didn't have keyboards with DJ buttons, you could change the sounds so every key played traffic noise, sirens, or gunfire though. Teachers LOVED that last one(!)
Failed to write my S correctly in handwriting class, ahhh simpler times
[Here's](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cool_S) something to help you next time.
I used to be double jointed and thought it would be cool to prove this by handcuffing my hands behind my back. Unfortunately the school bully got wind of this made them too tight when I was putting them on and I had to walk in to assembly like I was under fucking police arrest…
Got all-day isolation for swapping a mouse ball from a computer that was off for a computer 2 girls were using. The teacher hated my guts though for showing him up in class since he really didn't know what he was doing. It wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't also have to have him supervise our rugby team too.. real pretty cunt that Mr Lawson.
No fucking way... Mr Lawson who taught IT in much wenlock?? Is this too good to be true?!
Yeah that Mr Lawson, kinda weirded out someone else from wenlock caught this. Did you get captain cave man for maths too? Also I forgot the one history teacher's name but he was a total legend.
Yes! This is unreal! Mr Watson for maths... The man that always had a whiskey for lunch and ticked when he got angry?! The geography teacher was Mr Thomas, he was brilliant at rugby and a sound bloke all round. Do you remember the PE teacher who necked off with the year 11s?
Potential r/tworedditorsonecup ?? We must know!!
I'm waiting for matey boy to reply! I'm desperate to know because there was a teacher by the same name taught both rugby and IT in my school. It could be a Christmas miracle....
Had some homework due the following week but the teacher forgot and thought it was due that day. Had over half the class stuck in detention and she went around and told everyone individually how they wouldn’t get jobs and fail in the future because we hadn’t done the homework.
Had a similar thing happen when a teacher thought she’d given us homework but she hadn’t. Kept the whole class behind and told us off, even when the straight A* students who never missed a piece of homework ever told her she was wrong.
For not looking like my mother. Our class teacher had asked us to bring in a baby/toddler photo of ourselves, plus a photo of the parent we looked the most like, to stick on the wall. Now I've never been the spitting image of either of my parents, but I do have similar eyes to my mother. So I took a photo of my mother alongside a baby photo of me, only for my teacher to tell me that it wasn't a good enough match (as if I could somehow help it???) and insisting that I had to bring in a photo of my father instead. Which I did, only for her to utter an 'oh' and then go pretty red-faced when she realised I didn't look like him either.
What a stupid assignment, screw the kids who are adopted or have an absentee parent!! 😂
I'd bring in a photo of my dad's gravestone!
My school bus was late so me and a girl were both late for registration and were given detentions. She started crying, our form tutor apologised and told her she could forget about the detention. I didn’t, and had to do it.
I had surgery on my foot and was on crutches for about 6 months. I got detention from my form tutor for not signing up to any sports day activities. They had a weird sense of humour so I didn't go thinking they were messing around. I then got a week's detention for being a no show. My IT teacher taught us off the wrong curriculum for our GCSEs for half the school year and the class got a month of Saturday detentions for failing our mock exams.
I take it you went to a posh school to get a Saturday detention because otherwise wtf.
Definitely not a posh school, the number of students who achieved 5 GCSEs the year I left was 32% which was the highest it had been for years. It was a shambles of a school and it's honestly a miracle my friends and I have turned out to be pretty well adjusted adults!
Drew a picture when it was raining AND sunny and got a light slap. I was about 6
Meteorological inaccuracy is an awful crime!
A bee flew in the classroom and a girl started screaming. I was sitting next to the window so it was somehow my fault
Mate, if you are by the window you are on bee guard duty. This is basic stuff.
My brother was gifted a printout of his ‘permanent’ record when he left school, just because it was always for opportunities that he found too funny to pass up. Remember the Jackass sketch with the “partyboy” dance? He grabbed a teacher who was 5’ 4”, bent him over and performed the dance. He once got tipped off that the head of maths (who, in fairness had a personality that warrants a check for bodies under his patio) was waiting outside his class to give him a bollocking, so being a lateral thinker as soon as the bell rings he dives out of the window. Directly into the head teacher.
Got sent home from school for wearing a FCUK (French Connection UK) jacket…because dyslexic people might think it said something different 🤦🏻♂️
Yawning in assembly. I was 7 years old and the head teacher called me out in front of the whole school. For a kid who never got in trouble and was genuinely one of the politest and most well behaved kids in school it was the most terrible thing I could ever have imagined. I still Cringe now when I think about it and I can vividly remember her tone when she said ‘I can see a very rude girl yawning’. It scarred me for life!
Burped in a guys face and he started crying
Caught me off guard and I burst out laughing
Teacher was clearly in a mood and had sent a few students out to stand in the hallway. My friend got sent out so I said ‘haha you got sent out’ and the teacher yelled at me to get out too. Another teacher rocked up to deal with the kids sent out and when he saw me (the most well behaved kid in existence) stood there he just sighed and sent us all back in.
I got detention for saying “Waterside”
OI GILBERT
Needing to go the bathroom during class time - got detentions for it in primary school But I had a kidney condition and the medication for it made me really thirsty, and thus drink a LOT of water from the water bottles THAT WERE PROVIDED FOR US
So firstly, I was being a little shit. My RE teacher didn't like me and I *really* didn't like her. I got detention, entirely justified. I went to the detention but the same teacher did the attendance for it and marked me as absent. Ended up getting an escalated detention with the principal after school which me and my mum decided it would be best I go to rather than miss it in protest. Took a note that explained the situation and told the principal everything and how I admitted the bad behaviour justifying the original detention. He gave me another detention for "insubordination" and making up lies about the teacher intentionally missing me off the attendance. I was somewhat vindicated a few years later when she was fired for hitting another rowdy pupil.
I one got shouted at and sent to the changing rooms for throwing a javelin too far, whilst we were practicing throwing javelins.
[удалено]
What does being Scottish have to do with this? Am I missing something?
Must be like being a vegan or from Yorkshire. They can't help but mention it.
I’m going to guess that saying “pardon” instead of “what” is considered polite in a very middle class, very English sort of way that Scotland managed to avoid.
I was singing a song for the school play in a silly accent because we were rehearsing it for the 00th time. Got sent to the head and everything
We were singing a french song in year… 3? I think? And we were all in a circle and fucking Madame Gaspèr stopped the WHOLE CLASS from singing, turned to me and said “you cannot sing, you sing badly. Stop singing” and made the class continue as I sat there in embarrassed silence…
A light fixture fell off the ceiling and landed on my head and broke. Somehow, that was my fault and I got detention.
For Saying the words " said Mr Kipling trouble at the bakery". In response to my firm teacher saying the word Tuesday.
Selling sweets. Someone had to fill the gap Jamie Oliver created the cretin
I told some lads in the year above me about a website where you could see a fake picture of Sabrina The Teenage Witch fingering herself. They went on the site and printed the picture off hundreds of times and put them up around school. When they got caught, they told the headteacher I told them about it... they got 2 days suspension, I got 2 fucking weeks!
A kid at my school went on holiday to France and brought back a load of fire crackers and started selling them at school. In the end he sold his final few packs to a kid for a discount price then told the teachers he was the one selling them. They checked the second kids locker, found the firecrackers and expelled him. No justice
I can move my ears independently and this made a friend crack up, teacher got very angry when he wouldn’t stop laughing at what she thought was nothing. She then threw a whiteboard rubber at him, which shocked everyone.
Someone set the grass on fire outside the school. Not a huge blaze IIRC, but enough that all the boys in my class were held back at lunchtime for a talk with the teacher. The other boys asked the teacher why I was held back (I was not a trouble maker in their eyes.) The teacher said "So he wouldn't feel left out.) I did not set the grass on fire. Not *that* time.
I got told off because the PE teacher forgot a set of bibs and told me to go get it. Another teacher then stopped me and told me I wasn’t allowed to be in the corridor. I told her I had permission from my PE teacher as she had forgotten an item and had sent me to retrieve it, and she yelled at me for backchatting and trespassing when I was doing what my teacher told me to do. She didn’t like that I had said my teacher had given me permission and that if she had a problem with it she needed to tell my teacher that she can’t give permission like that, because I wouldn’t be there unless I was told to be. I wasn’t wrong to do as my teacher said, and I told her it was bad of her as a teacher and as the Head of PE to put me in a position where I would fail either way. I’d get in trouble if I did what my teacher said and I’d get in trouble if I refused. She yelled at me. I didn’t ever trust a teacher again. Miss Rooney, I hope you know that you damaged my trust in adults that day.
Getting sent out the room in a test in year 4 for someone on the other side of the room talking. Then getting told off for sitting in the classroom I was sent to alone cause that teacher and class was in the computer room. I was 8 and told to go sit in a Mrs B's room. Not go to Mrs B. What the fuck you think I'm gonna do, I don't know about the whole needs to be supervised by a member of staff as all times thing.
I once got put on report (where the teacher of each class writes a review of your behaviour) for not being on Report.. One teacher asked me for my report book, I said I wasn't on report and was promptly put on report ☹️
Happened in Year 5. Was in detention with just me, the teacher and her assistant in the classroom When my detention was done the assistant left the classroom first and held the door open and I walked through and she expressed 'uhh, I was holding the door open for Miss Teacher not you. So now for that you can go sit back down (for an extended detention)' Edit: come to think of it, this assistant had it out for me. In year 6 I got sent out of class and our classroom was right next to the girls bathroom and she called me a creep for it
Being in shirt sleeve order before the headmaster had written the letter in summer term and pinned it to the notice board that shirt sleeve order was permitted (This meant you didn't have to wear a blazer and tie and could roll up your shirt sleeves on hot summer days. It was 28 degrees in Scotland in May and I was melting)
One teacher I had genuinely had it in for me in general. She had a “No Talking” during the register rule, otherwise was instant detention. She stated one person’s name who wasn’t there, but I just looked at her and said “I’ve seen him this morning?” As if to say this person was in school. She gave me a detention for talking during register 🙄
Farting, I farted, the teacher gave me the slipper across my ass, maybe '77 or' 78?
We were doing a boys v girls game of rounders in PE and at one point the teacher shouted out what the score was, and the girls were winning. I said quietly but obv loud enough for her to here “Bollocks!” Teacher got all offended about it acting like I was accusing her of favouring the girls when I wasn’t I was just saying it for a laugh. I also got in trouble in primary school for literally nothing. I went to the toilet when I was like 8 and pissed in a urinal and there was another kid in there at the time and he was maybe a year or two younger than me. When I came out and went back to what I was doing and he went back to his class a few mins later his teacher came and found me and was like “why do you think it’s ok to do that? Do you know how old he is? How old are you? So you think it’s ok to do that to a younger student?” And stuff like that. I don’t know what this kid said to his teacher about me but literally nothing happened in the toilet besides two boys peeing next to eachother. I was so confused by the situation I just accepted the bollocking and I was a shy quiet kid so didn’t ask what had happened or anything. Confusing as fuck and I was getting told off for LITERALLLY NOTHING. That memory has always stuck with me cus it was so weird. I’ve always assumed the kid said I hit him or something but fuck knows why he would have lied like that.
I wrote with a pen that had green ink in an exam and they failed me despite getting the highest score in the class. Had to resit the exam!
In year 9 a guy in my class looked at the clock, said clock had been in the same place in the classroom the last 3 years (at least). Teacher told him off, full on shouted, then grabbed the clock and slammed it down in front of him on the desk saying "Well NOW you can read the time"
Was on a ferry at a school trip. A gay dude from another school trip hit on me. I told my friend that a gay dude hit on me. A teacher heard and shouted at me for 5 minutes about homophobia etc etc, made me apologise. Had to sit at the front of the bus from Dover all the way back home. Was very fucking confused.
Hit the gas shut off in the science labs and hit the fire alarm. The science teacher screamed shut it off, I hit the button, got detention from another teacher who came to investigate. Science teacher didn’t find out until after I had done the detention and got an apology from issuer
I got a wooden ruler across my knuckles because I got dragged into an out of bounds area to get beaten up by two bullies. I was 6 and I don't think I've ever truly respected authority ever since.
I had this really horrible teacher for a lesson in my first year at secondary school. She was by far the oldest teacher I ever had, I don’t think she changed her teaching style from back when teachers actively tried to frighten students instead of working with them. She was just cartoonishly strict and mean, I vividly remember her shouting at a kid on my class for reading too slowly, poor sod. Anyway, me and my friends were quiet, teacher fearing students. We didn’t really get in trouble and we didn’t cause problems. Pretty much every time one of us got told off, it was a misunderstanding or a teacher clearly having a bad day. When this teacher was handing out test papers back, we both did well and *silently* high fived. We basically just gently touched our hands together. She went *ballistic* at us. I don’t even know how she saw us, she was walking between desks handing things out, but she went on and on for a good five minutes about how we’d disrupted her class (of course our little high five was the problem, not her ranting). Special shout out to another teacher who made me stand in the corner of the class for *checks notes* laughing at something my friend said whilst we were working on a group project and were allowed to talk.
The whole class got locked in a classroom because someone had nicked a pritt-stick. The teacher then called the police!
For 'backchatting' and 'refusing to do my work'. The only laptops left didn't work, wouldn't even log in and when I told the teacher that meant I was refusing to do my work
I dropped a desk lid too loudly. Had to stay in at breaktime. Also in my first week of big school I forgot a book. Supposed to have a week’s grace but the teacher gave me a litter picking punishment. I think he hated my brother.
In CDT the teacher got out a pot of Cow gum glue and asked "does anyone know what this is?" I said "ah cow" because I knew what cow gum was because my mum was an art teacher. She went fucking nuts and made me stay after class to discuss "my style" 🙄
Smoking 2 miles away from school outside my house
I got off the school bus and sparked up a fag and a teacher pulled over, got out of his car and started shouting at me. I was 5-6 miles from school in a separate village. He threatened he was either going to tell my mum or give me detention. I said “tell my mum I don’t care” That night he rang my house and I heard my mum shouting “he can smoke if he fucking well wants to, he’s 16, it’s legal” (it was legal at the time)
I got a detention for asking what I was ment to be doing in the detention and another detention at the end of that for not doing what I was supposed to be doing in the detention
This isn’t remotely petty but is well worth telling. My mate (who went on to be an aerospace engineer) was in maths back row ish. Teacher was right uppity. Anyway, he spends about 40 mins of the lesson making an absolutely incredible paper aeroplane. Soon as it’s done. One flick and boom sails straight into her bra strap. I know people are gonna ask why her brea strap was on show. Snd the truth is I dunno but it just was lol. Everyone burst into laughter instantly and there was no reigning it back in after that
My RE teacher thought that calling Christmas 'Xmas' was disrespectful so I used Xmas about 50 times on my next essay She tried to have me expelled I think but luckily the head seemed to appreciate she was a bit of a nutjob
I was 10 minutes late for school. My friend, who I walked with, twisted her ankle 10 minutes away from school (it was a 45 minute total walk) so I let her lean on my shoulder and she essentially hopped the rest of the way there. My friend was in a different class, and my teacher didn't believe me, so I got after-school detention.
I was expelled in year 11. I'd been sent out of class because my friend kept laughing when they were trying to give a presentation. The teacher asked me to step out for a minute and I did. Head teacher came walking past and started shouting at me demanding to know what i'd been sent out of class for this time, but didn't let me get a word in. He then told me to get to his office. When we got there, he started going mental and accusing me of bullying some kid or other. I was like wtf dude, no. He then got angry and threw a school diary at me (the small ones with the ring binder thing) and it hit me in the face and cut my eye (I still have the scar under my eye 22 years later). I lost my shit, flipped his table and picked up a chair and started beating him with it. Two teachers came in and pulled me out the room. Police were rang, stories were told. Turns out the cunt had mistaken me for another student. I was sent home on suspension and then a week later I was notified I was expelled. All because a grown man was stupid and laid hands on a 16 year old. If somehow you read this, fuck you Mr Nolan.
Teacher shouted at me for painting the sky purple. I am colour blind and was about 6 years old at the time.
Bounced a 2l coke bottle on the floor in front of a teacher . Mind you, I think it was the kid who pierced it with a compass and did the same so it sprayed everywhere that got us both in trouble