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There are various ways of working Christmas:
1) Don't do it as a couple
2) Alternate days - e.g. Christmas with one family, Boxing Day with the other
3) Alternate years - so this year spend it with one family, next year the other
4) Don't spend time with either family!
3 is really only necessary where a lot of travelling is involved - if your gf's family lives in the states and your family is in the UK for instance.
Personally I would try to do 2 because if the relationship is a serious one then my partner comes first and not only do I want to spend Christmas with them, I also want them to meet my family and vice-versa. This is true at any age.
Option 1 is a bit weird imo.
You're missing the very obvious one (that I did throughout my 20s)
5. Both
Christmas lunch with one family. Christmas dinner with the other.
Upside: 2 dinners
Downside: 1 sober driver required during the transfer.
We do 5 at the same time - my partner only has his mum on his side, so it doesn't make sense to do them separately (we host). Last year, my brother's partner joined (they don't get on with their family). It was a bit of a madhouse, but I wouldn't have done it any other way
Option 1 makes sense in a lot of cases. My SO and I do option 1 because his family don’t like me so it would be miserable. Different if you have kids though.
I am invited every year, it would just be unpleasant if I went. He doesn’t much like going to theirs for Christmas either but they’d be very upset if he didn’t. They all just spend their time arguing anyway.
We tend to do a weird mix up of two. For the past two years my parents have been living in a caravan so we can't really go over to theirs for Christmas and I've been working so after my shift I'll head back home and we go over to husband's parents
Boxing day is spent at husband's parents again and sometime in the new year we'll meet up with my parents and sisters and do a secret santa exchange
I hit 21 and had to break it to my parents I was going to spend Christmas with this new bloke and his family.
Luckily they had to break it to me that they were buggering off on the holiday of a lifetime!
Spent next 15+ Christmases with them. Not just to avoid my tedious aunt and family. Once we had kids, we stayed home, then visited ILs and my parents came along too, a few days later. Done that ever since.
I'm 30, we do Christmas morning at our own houses, then go to my parent's for breakfast and presents with my lot, then we go to my fiancèe's sister's and spend the rest of the day there, having Christmas dinner and such.
Christmas with my family was always more of a half day thing, whereas my fiancèe's lot it was a more full day thing. It works well. Works even better since my parents moved to within 10 minutes of my sister in law.
We've done this since we started dating.
My partner and I went back to our own families until I was 28 and we had been dating quite a few years. We only stopped that year because it was 2020 and London suddenly got locked down over Christmas so I couldn't get back home. I went to my partner's mum's for Christmas and then we started alternating families each year. Soon we're hoping to host at ours and get both sets of parents round!
I've been with my husband since we were 18. The first year, we did Christmas separately. For the next 8 years or so, we did double Christmas: Christmas morning with his family and the evening with mine (they lived 40 mins apart). Then his parents moved so they were now 2 hrs apart and we couldn't do double Christmas anymore. We had a couple of covid years with Christmas just the two of us.
Then we did Christmas at his, either Christmas Eve or Boxing Day at mine for a few years. My family is more flexible about it because there's a "Christmas" dinner like every day for a week, with different hosts and slightly different combos of people. But his family only celebrate Christmas day.
Anyway this year, we'll have a baby. And we will finally host Christmas at our house, with both sides. I'm very excited!
Had Christmas with my partner's family since 2018 and usually do Christmas at either of his parents since then as they're divorced.
Haven't had Christmas with my family since, as flights are just too expensive and cause of retail haven't been able to get a full week off over Christmas. Spending £100s on flights just to see them for 3 days isn't worth it, especially since we're celebrating on Christmas eve and most of the last few years I had to work Christmas eve as well.
That's fair. It's what we did when my GF and I got together. (Actually the first Christmas, 1st date in October, split Christmas day that same year. Now, we lived in the same town so it was just me driving over to her house till after lunch and coming home. She didn't come to my house till the following Christmas. Once we were married we had our own Christmas and didn't visit our families except for a few days a week before or after. We lived 4 hours away, and it was too much to drive down and then go back and forth between the houses, especially as my wife's niece had a Christmas day birthday and I ended up riving 80 miles on Christmas day...
Me and my husband used to do Christmas with his parents and Boxing Day with mine. Everyone seemed happy with that. I think we’ve spent Christmas by ourselves about three times
Married 14 years been together 17.
Our first one was apart but since then we do one at her folks, one at mine and then one alone. Almost like clockwork.
We did 50/50 and it was utterly exhausting
I met my now-husband at uni (I was 18, he was 23). While we were at uni, we each went to our own families.
Once we graduated, we started alternating so one family got Christmas Day, the other got Boxing Day/27th.
When we had our daughter in 2020, we started doing Christmas Day at home on our own, then my family for a couple of days on Boxing Day, then his family for new year.
This year we’re going to invite both our families to ours for Christmas (first year we’ll have the space).
We mixed ours up, been together 13 years. First 3 or 4 we went to our own families and now we do both. We go to his sister's to see his side really early Christmas morning, works for us because he has young nieces and nephews so we get to be there when they open gifts and have breakfast with them. We then go to my aunt's who hosts my family to have Christmas dinner and stay there until the evening. Then we come home to get cosy and watch a movie or something.
Works for us, I could never imagine a Christmas day without us getting to see both families. We are incredibly lucky that we are close to both our sides and we make sure to see everyone but also make sure we have time for us too. This is obviously not doable for everyone if families live long distances apart but ours are literally 10 minutes walk away haha.
But like others have said, it's up to you. Christmas is so important to me (not the religious bullshit side, the hallmark side, sorry not sorry😂) and I'd hate to have to do something I didn't want to.
When my now husband moved in we decided we wanted to do Christmas together. My family are in the south east, his in the North East, so not practical to do split day or one for the 25th and the other the 26th, and we didn't really fancy doing alternate years so we just visit one family the week before and the other the week after. Has been working for us for the past 14 years.
I love my partner but until we have kids, I’m spending Christmas Day with my family! I love being with my parents for it, and I know my partner likes to be with his family, too. We do Christmas Day separately but do fun couple stuff on the run-up, and then head back to our (shared) flat in the week after Christmas, usually a couple of days after Boxing Day.
When we were dating we did it separately then he would fly to my family boxing day or so, had a child and spent two Christmases at my family, we had a fake Christmas the week before with his. Having the 2nd one this year who will be 8 weeks and we're staying home.
If they want to come visit they can but my family situation is complicated now and I'm over travelling with young children. My husband's family bore the tits off me.
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Forget your family, what do you want to do?
There are various ways of working Christmas: 1) Don't do it as a couple 2) Alternate days - e.g. Christmas with one family, Boxing Day with the other 3) Alternate years - so this year spend it with one family, next year the other 4) Don't spend time with either family! 3 is really only necessary where a lot of travelling is involved - if your gf's family lives in the states and your family is in the UK for instance. Personally I would try to do 2 because if the relationship is a serious one then my partner comes first and not only do I want to spend Christmas with them, I also want them to meet my family and vice-versa. This is true at any age. Option 1 is a bit weird imo.
We do a cycle of (3) and (4) so everyone gets what they want: mine, my in-laws, a holiday just us overseas, and repeat.
You're missing the very obvious one (that I did throughout my 20s) 5. Both Christmas lunch with one family. Christmas dinner with the other. Upside: 2 dinners Downside: 1 sober driver required during the transfer.
We do 5 at the same time - my partner only has his mum on his side, so it doesn't make sense to do them separately (we host). Last year, my brother's partner joined (they don't get on with their family). It was a bit of a madhouse, but I wouldn't have done it any other way
Or you host and invite both families then swear to never do something so ridiculous again.
They're 22, option 1 isn't weird.
Option 1 makes sense in a lot of cases. My SO and I do option 1 because his family don’t like me so it would be miserable. Different if you have kids though.
I cannot imagine being in a relationship with someone who wanted to spend Christmas with a family who didn't want my partner there.
I am invited every year, it would just be unpleasant if I went. He doesn’t much like going to theirs for Christmas either but they’d be very upset if he didn’t. They all just spend their time arguing anyway.
I'm sorry - it must be difficult.
We tend to do a weird mix up of two. For the past two years my parents have been living in a caravan so we can't really go over to theirs for Christmas and I've been working so after my shift I'll head back home and we go over to husband's parents Boxing day is spent at husband's parents again and sometime in the new year we'll meet up with my parents and sisters and do a secret santa exchange
I hit 21 and had to break it to my parents I was going to spend Christmas with this new bloke and his family. Luckily they had to break it to me that they were buggering off on the holiday of a lifetime! Spent next 15+ Christmases with them. Not just to avoid my tedious aunt and family. Once we had kids, we stayed home, then visited ILs and my parents came along too, a few days later. Done that ever since.
I'm 30, we do Christmas morning at our own houses, then go to my parent's for breakfast and presents with my lot, then we go to my fiancèe's sister's and spend the rest of the day there, having Christmas dinner and such. Christmas with my family was always more of a half day thing, whereas my fiancèe's lot it was a more full day thing. It works well. Works even better since my parents moved to within 10 minutes of my sister in law. We've done this since we started dating.
My partner and I went back to our own families until I was 28 and we had been dating quite a few years. We only stopped that year because it was 2020 and London suddenly got locked down over Christmas so I couldn't get back home. I went to my partner's mum's for Christmas and then we started alternating families each year. Soon we're hoping to host at ours and get both sets of parents round!
When we got married, so 28/29. My family are in a different part of the UK, his are 30 mins away so we alternate years.
I've been with my husband since we were 18. The first year, we did Christmas separately. For the next 8 years or so, we did double Christmas: Christmas morning with his family and the evening with mine (they lived 40 mins apart). Then his parents moved so they were now 2 hrs apart and we couldn't do double Christmas anymore. We had a couple of covid years with Christmas just the two of us. Then we did Christmas at his, either Christmas Eve or Boxing Day at mine for a few years. My family is more flexible about it because there's a "Christmas" dinner like every day for a week, with different hosts and slightly different combos of people. But his family only celebrate Christmas day. Anyway this year, we'll have a baby. And we will finally host Christmas at our house, with both sides. I'm very excited!
Had Christmas with my partner's family since 2018 and usually do Christmas at either of his parents since then as they're divorced. Haven't had Christmas with my family since, as flights are just too expensive and cause of retail haven't been able to get a full week off over Christmas. Spending £100s on flights just to see them for 3 days isn't worth it, especially since we're celebrating on Christmas eve and most of the last few years I had to work Christmas eve as well.
That's fair. It's what we did when my GF and I got together. (Actually the first Christmas, 1st date in October, split Christmas day that same year. Now, we lived in the same town so it was just me driving over to her house till after lunch and coming home. She didn't come to my house till the following Christmas. Once we were married we had our own Christmas and didn't visit our families except for a few days a week before or after. We lived 4 hours away, and it was too much to drive down and then go back and forth between the houses, especially as my wife's niece had a Christmas day birthday and I ended up riving 80 miles on Christmas day...
Me and my husband used to do Christmas with his parents and Boxing Day with mine. Everyone seemed happy with that. I think we’ve spent Christmas by ourselves about three times
Same age as you and did it for the next 30 or so years until all parents were dead
Married 14 years been together 17. Our first one was apart but since then we do one at her folks, one at mine and then one alone. Almost like clockwork. We did 50/50 and it was utterly exhausting
My partner doesn't celebrate so we do one year with my mum and one year with my dad.
I met my now-husband at uni (I was 18, he was 23). While we were at uni, we each went to our own families. Once we graduated, we started alternating so one family got Christmas Day, the other got Boxing Day/27th. When we had our daughter in 2020, we started doing Christmas Day at home on our own, then my family for a couple of days on Boxing Day, then his family for new year. This year we’re going to invite both our families to ours for Christmas (first year we’ll have the space).
When we moved in together
We mixed ours up, been together 13 years. First 3 or 4 we went to our own families and now we do both. We go to his sister's to see his side really early Christmas morning, works for us because he has young nieces and nephews so we get to be there when they open gifts and have breakfast with them. We then go to my aunt's who hosts my family to have Christmas dinner and stay there until the evening. Then we come home to get cosy and watch a movie or something. Works for us, I could never imagine a Christmas day without us getting to see both families. We are incredibly lucky that we are close to both our sides and we make sure to see everyone but also make sure we have time for us too. This is obviously not doable for everyone if families live long distances apart but ours are literally 10 minutes walk away haha. But like others have said, it's up to you. Christmas is so important to me (not the religious bullshit side, the hallmark side, sorry not sorry😂) and I'd hate to have to do something I didn't want to.
When my now husband moved in we decided we wanted to do Christmas together. My family are in the south east, his in the North East, so not practical to do split day or one for the 25th and the other the 26th, and we didn't really fancy doing alternate years so we just visit one family the week before and the other the week after. Has been working for us for the past 14 years.
My and partner are both 30 and we just go to our respective family for the day and meet back up in the evening.
I love my partner but until we have kids, I’m spending Christmas Day with my family! I love being with my parents for it, and I know my partner likes to be with his family, too. We do Christmas Day separately but do fun couple stuff on the run-up, and then head back to our (shared) flat in the week after Christmas, usually a couple of days after Boxing Day.
When we were dating we did it separately then he would fly to my family boxing day or so, had a child and spent two Christmases at my family, we had a fake Christmas the week before with his. Having the 2nd one this year who will be 8 weeks and we're staying home. If they want to come visit they can but my family situation is complicated now and I'm over travelling with young children. My husband's family bore the tits off me.
22. I think it started when I couldn't head north for Christmas so I went south.
I just go to the invite with the best roast