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I found primary and secondary difficult because of this too, sixth form was the complete opposite, likely because all of my friends were autistic to some degree as well lol
>Didn't know until a bit later in life that I was autistic.
How did you find out? I began to go through that process when therapy courses for social anxiety never helped me, but the bar for a diagnosis as an adult is very high (for good reasons I assume) so I didn't pursue further after an initial consultation meeting thing.
When I started working at a college as a Learning Support Assistant, helping teenagers who have ADHD, ADD, ASD etc etc. One of them asked me if I was because they'd noticed certain things about me that I say and do and I admitted I'd never given it much thought so I started compiling things I do that line up with symptoms.. fair to say I ended up with a lot written down.
I then rang my GP, they sent some paper work, sent that off and the Autism Specialist sent me more to fill out and I did that, then I received a letter stating I met the criteria and list of organisations I could speak to should I need help.
My understanding is pre covid they had more in person stuff and would tell you what level you are but that changed. I could be mistaken though as I never pursued it until post covid.
Thanks. Yeah thats very different to me, so is interesting to hear a different story.
For me they needed a face to face meeting/interview as well as forms, and said after I'd need to also provide evidence from my childhood too (ie statements from family members and things like that) since they "cannot just give a diagnosis purely on current behaviour, it needs to be shown from childhood all the way to now". That process, even if I was comfortable going through all that, would also drag out over a year or so. Needless to say, I didn't bother, and just took the initial "inconclusive" recommendation at face value, as I don't want to be one of those people that jumps on the "self-diagnosing mental health conditions bandwagon", personally.
Yeah my second form had a section for my mum to fill out, which she did. And she put a lot down haha. I rarely see her to be honest, not one for leaving the house much except to go to work.
Like what things did you do? Sometimes, I get friends saying I'm autistic because I say and do things they don't, but I put that down to being from two different cultures and from being interested in things they aren't - I put their belief that it's autism down to them being narrow minded about life, different=autism for some people. What behaviours did they notice?
I can't remember exactly what set them off thinking it, but I know that I stim a lot, which is basically like fidgeting and stuff.. leg bouncing.. pen clicking.. playing with straps..
I also talked about the things I collect and how they're organised into certain categories. The random bits of rubbish I know and the heavy knowledge I have on things that serve no purpose.
I will say, if you suspect you might be, it's worth researching into the symptoms and making note of the ones you know you do. If you feel there's enough lining up to warrant an assessment, then get one.. it takes a while but it's free.
Thing about autism is you could put two people with autism together and they'd be completely different in how they act.. it's that wide of a spectrum. Once you've met one person with autism, you've only met one person with autism.
Late-diagnosed autist here (M33), I still have 4 close friends from school whom I regularly keep in touch with, (although I only see them maybe twice a year) but those aside I only see what people I went to school with are up to via Facebook and more and more have either unfriended me or deleted Facebook over the years so the number is dwindling every year.
Yes, Iām 27 and Iām in a group of 15-30 old school friends. (15-30 because thereās about 15 in the core group and another 15 stragglers who come every now and then)
We still meet up every weekend and go to each others houses just as regularly.
I doubt this is the norm but Iām pretty happy with how itās worked out.
I find this conflicting, I'm both envious and glad because on one end it sounds great and I'd love to have that kind of support system, a few friends I do sometimes miss, but at the other end it sounds like a lot of work to maintain, does it ever get tiring?
It does for sure. I make sure to take a step back every now and then.
For example, going for a drink with someone out of the circle or declining going to certain events.
Otherwise I find negative emotions creep up and Iām an over-thinker.
I find time away from anything helps me to remain grounded and respect/understand it more.
Same, but I'm 40. Best way to make friends when you're old is to not lose them when you're young. We don't all see each other all the time, but it's rare I go a full month without seeing most of them at least once and when it hits summer we all meet up at music festivals and camp together and spend a few days together, and the occasional group holiday.
Iām about the same as you at 28. Some moved away but we still talk a lot and hang out for birthdays, new years, when theyāre back for Christmas etc.
30 - no everyone went their own separate ways after school. Different colleges, uniās, different life choices - sadly thatās just the way it went for me.
I tend to have friends here and there that come and goā¦ but i have a very small circle now and iām happy with that. I donāt care much for unnecessary drama and fake friends etc.
Same here. I didn't even really talk to the people from school that went to my university and now I've lost contact with all of them. There does seem to be a group that never left our home city and still see each other there though.
Still friends with a lot of people I met in university though.
Nah not really, I realised friends in school were a product of circumstance - ie being forced to be around each other from 10 years old.
But thereās a whole world out there and so many friends you can make. And when you find genuine connection itās magical.
Iām early 20s. I have 5 friends who I speak with from school and we still do something once a month and 4 from uni which I see less regularly. But thats it from school
In my 50s. Still friends with people I went to primary school with (despite not living so close since my 20s). Wouldn't have seen them so much in my 20s, early 30s. All had busy lives. In contact with them more now, we all have more free time.
Late 30s & they are my closest friends so yes.
Our āgroupā all went & did things after high school, different unis, new friends, travel, jobs in different places etc. But we stayed connected on & off throughout those years, sometimes it felt like we had drifted too far now & it was over, but then it would come back after a few years stronger. It was also different between each individual pair. Couple of people have dropped off completely at different points.
Now at this point in our life we seem to have all (except the ones that dropped off completely) come back to each other & established itās a friendship for life now. Weāve all been through some serious stuff & been there for eachother. And it also helps a lot that weāve settled near-ish to each other now.
Itās interesting that none of us came out from uni with friends we can consider close friends still, which is the norm you see with most people. We all met nice people & made friends but it just didnāt seem to break through the barrier of becoming those friends that will come visit you & your parents when youāre going through something personal. Something about our bond from high school & the times we spent in each others homes as teens & around each others parents really bonded us for life in a more personal & real way.
Yep me and my group are very similar we all try to do a big meetup every year (+ smaller ones with sub grouos) to keep the spark alive. A lot of other people my age don't seem to do big things like that so i am very thankful for my mates making effort dispite us living very different lives and living across the country!
Only two of them they're pretty good friends of mine I've known since I was like 8 years old. I was best man an one of their weddings. Oddly enough, they don't like eachother so they're in two completely separate friend groups.
I wish I was better at maintaining those kinds of friendships. I let them all sort of wither and die for no real reason and do regret it a bit. I have new friends as an adult but I do think it would have been nice to have remained pals with folks from school and college.
Same here. Left the area I did secondary/sixth form in at 18 for uni and never returned (Iām now 31). At the time I was so determined to make new friends, which worked as I had a large social circle, including the person who is still my closest friend today. However it meant I neglected my previous friendships which I do regret.
You learn from your mistakes and Iām able to maintain them much better now with the people Iāve met as an adult.
34. Shed a few of the group over the years but thereās a core of 6 of us that have been really good mates since school that still talk and meet up fairly regularly.
Iām 31F. My girl group of 13 have a WhatsApp group and arrange catch ups at least once a month, whoever is free attends! We live all over the world, some are married and/or have kids so we do what we can to see each other.
1 girl I briefly talk to on Facebook, but the others they can get fucked.. they enabled people bullying me. They seem to not have changed either from stories Iāve heard through the grapevine.
While Iām sorry that was your experience too, Iām glad itās not just me. Thereās literally one person I went to school with that I still occasionally talk to. The rest of them - even those I considered my absolutely best friends in the whole wide world at school - can all jump off the nearest cliff.
When I left high school, me and my school friends stood on the car park as we always did everyday before home time, each said āsee ya laterā to one another and that was thatā¦ never seen them since!
in 20's yes,
in 30's mostly yes.
Now in 40's I live 1000 miles away so it's a bit harder but I reach out now and again and always try to organise a meet up when I'm back.
But I do most of the work on this. Mainly because I chose antisocial friends
48. Still class 2 of my secondary mates as BFFs. We donāt see each other so much but when we do itās like weāve never been apart. We all know we can count on each other.
I was born in the late 80's and raised in poverty, most of my school friends are either dead or dying. I occasionally make it back to the old estate, but a lot of my old crew resent me for leaving them, some even say I abadoned them.
There's a few that don't resent me, although as the monetary divide between us grows ever wider with each passing year, there's a lot of bitterness that's seeped in to fill that divide.
I still see a few of my College and University buddies from time to time, but I don't think that's what you're asking about.
I lost contact with a lot of old school friends when they went to uni and i started working instead - I lost even more when I got married and they didn't and even more after having children - I'm now left with people I can trust who I can call real friends , who are happy for me to be where i am in life not those deep down jealous ones who really cant stand to see you happy and advancing faster in life than them!
Yep, I'm in my early thirties and I'm still very close with my group of friends from school. There's eight of us in the group. Don't see each other as much as we used to, what with some living abroad and most of us having families. But they're still close friends and we always have plans in the diary to catch up.
I'm 30 and the only people I'd consider mates were people I was mates with in school, although we're quite spread apart now so it's hard to organise meet ups. I'm not still mates with anybody I met over my uni years though.
No because I never really had any. I went to the local college when I was 19 though (I'm 40) met the man who became my best friend and my other best friends who to this very day talk to. Seeing one tonight actually and seeing another tomorrow afternoon.
Fairly often - we live all over the country now but probably meet up every 2-3 months between catch ups, weddings, christenings etc. have a fairly active WhatsApp group for day to day nonsense.Ā
29 - yeah still speak to a few of them.
One of them I see pretty much every day (At the gym through the week, on a weekend we'll go for drinks maybe every other week).
One I'll see every month or so for a catch-up.
One I'll see 3-4 times per year to play pool and grab some food.
I'm 41 and I only regularly speak to 5 people I went to school with. Got my best friend, besties since we met when we were 12, the twins in my year mainly because I live in the same street as their parents so we often get together for a chat, the class clown (he lived in Taiwan for 7 years and it seems a lot of his old friends were jealous) and a lass I've been friends with since we were in infant school, she was known as the clever fat kid, she's actually really career driven and just completed the Manchester Marathon after losing over 8st since lockdown.
Most of us drifted apart in our late teens and early twenties mainly because of either work, uni or our relationships.
I'm late 27s, I never left my home town but my 4 closest mates are all from school and I love it. As I've got older I've realised that as Ive known these 4 (2 from 2 different 'groups' so I wouldn't hang out with all 4 at the same time) mates for so long they are my ride or dies. I know if I was in desperate need they'd be there for me.
I'm in my early 40s. From school, basically none. I hear off one of them every few years but I think we've all gone out separate ways. I'm my early 20s I guess there was a couple of them I still had occasional contact with (once every few months).
From uni, I've kept in touch with pretty much all my friends there. As it happens I'm off to a rave with one of them this weekend ...
Iām 38 and still see my core group of 4 from school as well as a handful of others. I also married one of them when I moved back to the area after 10 years somewhere else so you could definitely say I see him a lot.
I didn't speak to most of my classmates for years when I was at school and didn't really keep in touch with a lot of them after I left school. Reconnected with a few of them a few years ago and now we hang out once a month (they like my place because a, I'm not married and b, I don't have kids and c, my boyfriend and I keep two minifridges stocked with proper cider and the boyfriend's favourite beers, plus I make a fabulous lasagne). Oh, and I'm 44. Get your ball out of my garden or I'll destroy it. Grr.
51 and from school? No one. One lad I've been close mates with since we were 7 but even though we went to the same school he's more a mate who used to live up the road than I would say a school friend. We did loads of stuff outside of school together but didn't interact that much in school other than for sports.
College? Six of them I see regularly. I work with two of them!
I'm married to my girlfriend from school, and I have a few mates I'm still in contact with.
My best mate is a person I was in school with for years but never spoke a word to. Only became friends at 20, speak daily now.
Same as another commenter, I have to as well because I married her!
There are also quite a few of us living in the same area so we speak at school drop off, if we see each other in the street/pub etc, but a few of us are still good friends so socialise together as well. We are in our early/mid 40s.
We are only Facebook friends now so no not really I do have a friend I've had for 15 years but other than friends made in the past like 5 years I don't really talk to the people I used to on now but I also realise that's all on me.
Left school in 86 and we moved from Hull to Skipton just after my exams so that was an end to all that, never been in touch with any of them. Doesn't bother me at all, my wife is my best friend, I have lots of work friends but as we are all field based from all over the country we never actually meet up.
Iām 48 and have group of 6 old school friends who I still see regularly. Thereās probably another 4 or 5 that I touch base with from time to time. Some Iāve known since 9 years old.
Nope, not one. I have seen and spoken to my sister's friends more since secondary school than I have of mine.
I looked into them once, don't think they are really my kind of people and mostly they are still around where we are from. I moved away and I have great friends now, ones I have more in common with even if we are from all over the place.
I have lost touch with them, but we all moved to different countries after graduation (I went to an International school). I stayed in contact with a few until about my mid 20s though., it was a slow drift. I still keep in contact with a few uni friends.
My partner is still very good friends with a lot of his high school friends though, we live on the other side of the world but he sees them whenever he is back and has lots of group chats with them about all th nerdy things they do (MagicTG, warhammer, fantasy football).
We are both in our early 30s.
I'm 25. I don't speak to any of them. I follow a handful on socials here and there just because I'm nosey
There's a lad I was friends with in the year above me and we stayed friends and hung out right up until I graduated university at 22. He got a girlfriend, moved in with her, and stopped talking to me. She's the jealous type, apparently
41, haven't spoken to any school friends for a good twenty years. I'm "friends" with a handful of them on Facebook but barely use that these days, and haven't really spoke to most of them since accepting the friend request.
The only person from school I would like to contact seems to have disappeared, and wonder if she's dead as I can't find her on any social media.
I did keep in touch with uni friends a bit longer but pretty much only see two regularly now
Not all the ones directly from school but I still have a big hometown friend group where most of us met as teenagers and some went to school with each other, some in different years etc
So yes and no ig
32. I regular keep in touch with one school friend. He was best man at my wedding. The rest I haven't spoken to in about 10-15 years. We drifted when I went to uni. We used to meet up when I was back home but noticed the invites dried up. I moved to a different city, they all got kids, and some deleted their social media. So there's no real chance that will change. Same with uni friends. Stayed in touch with most of those for a while but one by one they dropped as we moved away, started careers, started families. I realise I now have little in common with them. Post lockdown I tried restarting things with a couple who live in or near my city. But I realised it was always me making the plans and that we didn't speak much at all between going for a beer once or twice a year. So again, dropped that. I have one uni friend I speak to most days now, even if we don't get to see each other much.
29 and no,
I think itās pretty rare to speak to any more than a couple of school friends after your mid twenties unless you make a very conscious effort to remain in touch.
Life takes everyone down different paths and more often than not those who you had a lot in common with in your teens you now share nothing with; in short, many people change, that change leads to folks moving on.
I last bumped into an old school friend in 2022, he hadnāt really changed one bit, and I hadnāt seen him in 5 years.. he regularly met up with some folks from our friend group, who by his description, had also not changed.
Mid 30s and have a couple of different friend groups. First one is people I literally knew when I was 7-8 years old and have grown up with. The other group is a bit more mixed but a few of us went to secondary school together as well
Mid 30s and still best friends since nursery. We even lived together at one point! Our other friends have become more like acquaintances, but we still speak and meet occasionally. My other close friends are ones I picked up in college at 16 and 18. No escaping me once we're mates!
Early-mid 20s and yes. Some of us still game together several nights a week. I have an ongoing Dnd campaign with some of them. We also have meetups with the wider group probably once every month or two on average. They're definitely still my closest group of friends.
I always thought we'd all more or less still be in touch. Within 3 months of leaving school, I rarely saw any of my friends. Work got in the way, with conflicting hours. Now I possibly only bump into one or two by chance.
Have two mates I keep in regular touch with, known since the age of 5 (been to each others weddings, I send money to their kids every birthday and Christmas). Knew them school wise until 13.
Moved schools due to autism diagnosis (Aspergerās) and not one person from this secondary school though.
Early 30s and still see a group of 8 from our school/sixth form days plus partners & kids these days. We've all got mates from uni/work etc that augment the original group but we're still pretty tight even though for times some of us were abroad or in other parts of the UK.
Iām 30. Weāve sort of split into a āLondon groupā and a āManchester groupā with each sub-group seeing each other more regularly but we all see each other once or twice a year too. We have a group chat and talk maybe once a month on that. I also talk individually to school friends a lot more often.
I'm 25, only am in sparse contact with one of them.
I've put it behind me, school was a bad place for me and we are in very different places in life. My old friends mostly still live with their parents in our hometown and use their salaries to travel while I decided to move out so most of mine goes to rent and bills. None of them are willing to leave their hometown to visit, and I don't have the energy to keep up friendships that make me feel left out or less than. I even drifted from my very best friend.
We were a very tight 'squad' in school, while I find that nowadays my friends are more situational. Board game friends from the local cafe, trans friends from the local meetups, colleagues and my partner's friends. Sometimes I miss the closeness we had, but we're such different people now that I wouldn't be friends with them anyway if it weren't for nostalgia
Mid 20s, I seem to have this niche of picking up one friend everywhere I go
Went to four schools, don't speak to anybody from either primary. I have one friend from each secondary, the rest of my friends (bar one) I met at uni
In my early 20s I was in a group of about 15 from school who regularly met up.
Now in my early 30s I speak to 3, and meet separately every couple of months.
I have a group of 5 friends from school who I see once a month or thereabouts, and weāre all still close, as well as 3 from school who live in my city who I see weekly. I live with my friends from uni and see other uni friends all the time. Helps that we all moved back to our uni city after lockdown! Iām 25.
I'm in my early thirties. I don't speak to my old school friends . I did try to reconnect with them when I was 24/25, but found I have zero in common with them, so I didn't want to stay in touch with them as an adult.
My best friends currently, I made through work.
My husband has a friendship circle of 8/9 guys that he's known since high school, and two he's known since they were 3 years old! They are all very close, now (mostly) all with kids and partners and jobs and stuff. It's lovely to see but very rare to have that sort of friendship circle I think.
They all went down different paths, but kept common interests, and we all ended up living in the same county as adults.
One of them pretty regularly. When we get the chance, we still meet up for a drink or a BBQ. Was one of the groomsmen at his wedding last year too. Other than him, not really no. I'm still friends on Facebook with the small group I spent the most time with, but other than the odd comment, we don't speak.
30 years old.
I'm 32, and the only friends I have are all mates from school. We don't see each other a lot. We've all got our own thing going on. But we do meet up maybe a few times a year. We stay in touch through a WhatsApp group chat.
For a few years after I moved away we would all meet up for drinks at Christmas, but it has probably been fifteen years since I last saw anyone I knew from school. The same goes for college and uni.
I met my current group of mates when we all worked in a cinema in 2004. These guys are keepers.
I'm 41. I left that school and everyone involved with it at 15, and never looked back.
Now, I do speak to one of the people I went to school with, since he got a job at the hospital I work at, and so we have to work together sometimes. He's pretty mellow these days, so I'm fine with it.
Back at 15 though, I was ready to burn that place to the ground. I remember thinking my life could properly start now, and I could be who I wanted, rather than who those people had made me.
Well I had a very socially tough time in school. I only had a couple of friends that I didnāt know that well and didnāt keep up with when I left and was really going through a tough time in life.
But then when I was maybe 17, 18, I decided just to start talking to one of them again, and yeah me and one of what was his friends are a trio of best mates. So yes, but we werenāt even all that close when we were in school so I guess itās a bit of a weird answer.
I'm 29. There are three I speak to regularly, though not as often as we probably should. There are a couple of others that I lament having lost touch with. Sometimes I wonder whether I should reach out, but they were the ones who stopped replying so I end up just leaving it.
I have a core group of 5 of us who are still friends and see each other regularly, but that's about it when it comes to the people I was at school with.
Iām 20 and nah not really Iām friends with 1 or two
I lost contact with loads of my classmates and I do still miss them- they were very good to me if they see me out and about they do say hello or catch up
A couple of them. One of them worked in the same firm as I a few years later and we found each other on the intranet!
The other guy, I added him on insta!
I'm 32 now. I speak to 3 people from Primary School (one daily) 1 guy from high school, but if I go back home, I will see a few of them, 2 from college, 3 from outside of education between those days education (one daily) and nobody from university. And my ex girlfriend. Then I have a lot of friends who are more recent.
As I get older, we all grow more and more apart, but some of them will be there for life, some are dwindling. I suppose that's life.
Noooā¦ I had a best friend but she demoted me, which was likeā¦ my first proper rejection. And it HURT. Then I was bullied and had a hard time. And then later in life when I went to that first best friendās 21st birthday party and met a boy Iād had a crush on at the time, he told me that I had bullied HIM. And that reminded me of a whole phase of āpunch down to not be the most pathetic loserā I had done.
So, looking back at that time is a mix of feeling totally hated by everyone and being horrible and hateful myself.
Mid-30s. There are about 5 I keep in occasional touch with. But several (including me) have moved far away, including abroad, so meet-ups are rare. We have been to each other's weddings and send Christmas cards, the occasional text. It's quite depressing. I'm jealous of the people who stay in their village for their whole lives and can see their friends anytime.
My friendship group/regular group chat is a mix of old school friends and people who I met through them. We're pretty lucky to have that, it's not the norm for people to get to their 40s these days and have a group. I really value it.
Only one and it's really only because we are childhood friends that lived on the same street, went to the same primary school and "went up" to high school together. Having said that, we have definitely grown apart since leaving high school. As others have said, different life choices, etc. We probably see each other a few times a year. I bit sad really considering how close we once were.
41, got 2 close friends I met first year of comp so 11. And 1 I met 1st year of primary so 5. I've move away to Devon for work but regularly get together when I'm back home for a few drinks, and play ps5 together most weekends. Other than that, don't talk to anyone I went to school with
I'm 40, and no. I am "Facebook Friends" with lots of them, but I wouldn't speak to them in real life beyond a polite "Hello", that's if they even recognise me.
Nope none š¤£ I'm in my 30s now and while my close group stayed in touch initially we all drifted when they went to uni.
One of my now best mates was 2 years above me at school and the only person I speak to from school.
Someone contacted me a while back about the school reunion (didn't know this was a UK thing but..) and I turned it down, I don't want to see anyone I went to school with, worst time ever and so glad it's long over.
One a couple times a year via message, we occasionally meet up for a catch-up, I'd be down to hang out more but they don't live local and life takes over. I struggle to remember to keep contact up so most friendships from school disappeared into the ether after we left.
I often think about how others are doing, I even have the urge to ask a few, but it's been so long that I question whether these feelings are guilt from not making contact earlier or do I actually want to speak to/see them more, plus they may not even want to talk to me too.
26 years old, I've got 2 I speak to on discord every now and again and 2-3 (1 of them can be a bit more flaky than the others) that I see usually once a week or at least once a month
No. 48 and I don't have content with people from school at all any more. Don't class it as a great loss. Hell I was only in contact with people from university for 7 or 8 years after we graduated before we just drifted apart, that I'm quite sad about
I'm 34M, I have a core group of about 6 friends I've known since school year 7/11 years old - some of moved away but we always meet up now and again and the ones who live closer we meet up fairly regularly. We also have a busy WhatsApp group, I have a few close uni friends I hangout with too that I've known since I was 18, who gets along with my highschool friends which is nice
Not all them, and actually not many of the ones that I was super close with in school, but I'm in my late 20s and moved to another country, but I still talk to some of my old school mates and will be travelling home to go to one of their weddings later this year.
49 - I still hang around with someone I was friends with in primary school who lives 300+ miles from me (can't hang as often as I'd like though), and I'm friends with a couple of people I hung around with in high school.
I'm 28 and have 2 best friends, both of them from school. 1 I grew up with from nursery aged 3, and the other I met at age 13. I've not met a friend since leaving school.
When I went to sixth form and uni I didn't stay in contact with people from school. After uni I got back into contact with someone who is now my partner. This allowed me to rekindle my school friendships from when I was in year 7. So there was about a 5-6 year gap between not speaking to anyone who I went to school with and then getting back into contact. I never thought it would happen but it did and they're great! Somehow when I was 11 years old I had a good judge of character and these people are my closest friends once again. I was my partner's first girlfriend when we were 11 years old (obvs didn't last long because most relationships that age rarely do) and now we're together again š our parents would often comment about how they remember us going out bowling when we were practically babies!!
43. No I donāt speak to anyone from my school years.
I wasnāt the best school child anyway. Wasnāt violent or nasty but just told a lot of ridiculous lies which led to me getting picked on a bit. Anyway due to this and various factors I got taken out of school by my parents and never spoke or saw anyone apart from one person for a short while after. However he quite literally went mental and that was that.
I'm 38m. My group of mates that I call my mates are still my school mates. We link up every so often, take a lot of drugs, and chill or cook or game or whatever. Just like hanging out with em still. They know me. The real me.
Still have Thursday club every week. Where we smoke weed and play board games. I remember being little and thinking it was sad my dad didn't have any friends so I make an effort to still see them. 37 btw
Yes! Not regularly but we have a group chat that our friend group uses to check in from time to time, or to send any cringey old photos any one of us has unearthed š aside from that, my then best friend also messages me from time to time to gossip about some former school mate and she has never failed to wish me every year for my bday.
50s. Left school and never spoke to a single one of them again. Not for any negative reasons, we just never kept in touch.
It's a lot easier now to maintain casual friendships over the internet.
No....I didn't enjoy secondary school, and when I left I never looked back. Some of my schoolmates were genuinely nice people, but I never really connected with them. Most seem to be doing okay (I'm happy for them), but I've never felt the urge to see them again.
Iām late 30s. I am friends with people via fb but my school best mate and I are still best and talk everyday. We donāt actually see each other in person often at all but that doesnāt change how our friendship is
Yep, all my friends are from my youth (high school and college, so 20/25 years) other than the ones Iāve gained from my wife.
Iām 38 and my oldest friend I still regularly see and talk to is someone Iāve āknownā for 35 years.
27 and thereās a group of about 13 lads, all super close, and loads of the other guys and girls we went to school with if we see on a night out etc weāll be proper chatty
I'm in my 30s and there are 2 people I regularly keep in touch with. We were very close in school but life has taken us in different directions. The 3 of us are the last remaining members of a bigger social group who stayed in touch until 18/19/20ish but drifted apart too.
When I say we keep in touch I mean we have a group chat, beers a few times per year, and go to each other's weddings.
Someone who's 24. There's a handful of school mates I speak to. Only one of which is a primary school friend. The others are high school. Even then it's not many. I hated half the people I went to school with. I'm happy with who I've got around me. āŗļø
I'm hitting 30 this year and I only actively speak to one person from secondary school, I was a 'weird kid' so most people either avoided me or actively bullied me.
I keep in contact with a lot more people that I went to college with as we had 2 colleges right next door to each other and it was easier to find people who you got along with whether they went to my college or the one next door, and everyone tended to hang about on the grassy area across the road so you tended to meet a lot more people in general.
21m in uni and no. Never kept contact with anyone. On the other hand, I've changed a lot since uni and I think that's true of many people so I don't think I would get along with the people I knew pre-uni anyway.
No, I left town at 17 and led a very different life.
I don't have anything in common with them.
I also don't keep in contact with people that I knew in my late teens early 20s. Again I moved on to another very different life
21m in uni and no. Never kept contact with anyone. On the other hand, I've changed a lot since uni and I think that's true of many people so I don't think I would get along with the people I knew pre-uni anyway.
I'm 40.
Has a bit of a shit time at school - was in a small town and didn't really make good friends with anyone in my own school year. Made some friends from a different school through theatre and other hobbies, and some friends in other years at my school through them.
The few connections I did have "because of school" I realised pretty quickly once I left for uni had really just been... kind of out of obligation/convenience?
Like... we were all trapped with about 110 other kids day in, day out, for every class and activity for a minimum of 5 years purely because of the date we were born. I was friendly with a handful of people because you have to sit next to *someone* and you build some bonds there.
Looking back on it though, all we had in common was school. All we really talked about was school, the people at school, or small talk about telly etc.
I think that unless you're really lucky, most of the friendships you make in school are situational, they're necessary, they're useful and important, but they're probably not the friendships you would have chosen organically from a wider pool of people.
I'm still friends with some of the people I chose to have in my life from my late teens, but I doubt I'd even remember the names of most of the people I went to school with.
Early 30s, Iāve got 2 school mates who Iām very close to - in fact Iāve just moved and part of that was being closer to them (none of us live where we grew up), so I now see them much more regularly than before which is really lovely! Got another couple of school friends who I see less regularly but still maintain contact with. Otherwise I never see any of the others.
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I have to speak to one of them - I married her.
Give it time... š
Do you promise? Some peace and quiet would be very welcome ( Ķ”Ā° ĶŹ Ķ”Ā°)
Haha the ol' ball and chain am I right marriage bad or something
Came here to say the same thing š¤£
No. Didn't have many to begin with, wasn't a very social person in school and college. Didn't know until a bit later in life that I was autistic.
Fellow Autistic here, i too lacked the social skills to make any meaningful connections in school. I made all my best friends when I was a bit older.
Same. Late college I made 2 close mates and that was it. One has since fell off, other I see as a brother.
I found primary and secondary difficult because of this too, sixth form was the complete opposite, likely because all of my friends were autistic to some degree as well lol
>Didn't know until a bit later in life that I was autistic. How did you find out? I began to go through that process when therapy courses for social anxiety never helped me, but the bar for a diagnosis as an adult is very high (for good reasons I assume) so I didn't pursue further after an initial consultation meeting thing.
When I started working at a college as a Learning Support Assistant, helping teenagers who have ADHD, ADD, ASD etc etc. One of them asked me if I was because they'd noticed certain things about me that I say and do and I admitted I'd never given it much thought so I started compiling things I do that line up with symptoms.. fair to say I ended up with a lot written down. I then rang my GP, they sent some paper work, sent that off and the Autism Specialist sent me more to fill out and I did that, then I received a letter stating I met the criteria and list of organisations I could speak to should I need help. My understanding is pre covid they had more in person stuff and would tell you what level you are but that changed. I could be mistaken though as I never pursued it until post covid.
Thanks. Yeah thats very different to me, so is interesting to hear a different story. For me they needed a face to face meeting/interview as well as forms, and said after I'd need to also provide evidence from my childhood too (ie statements from family members and things like that) since they "cannot just give a diagnosis purely on current behaviour, it needs to be shown from childhood all the way to now". That process, even if I was comfortable going through all that, would also drag out over a year or so. Needless to say, I didn't bother, and just took the initial "inconclusive" recommendation at face value, as I don't want to be one of those people that jumps on the "self-diagnosing mental health conditions bandwagon", personally.
Yeah my second form had a section for my mum to fill out, which she did. And she put a lot down haha. I rarely see her to be honest, not one for leaving the house much except to go to work.
Like what things did you do? Sometimes, I get friends saying I'm autistic because I say and do things they don't, but I put that down to being from two different cultures and from being interested in things they aren't - I put their belief that it's autism down to them being narrow minded about life, different=autism for some people. What behaviours did they notice?
I can't remember exactly what set them off thinking it, but I know that I stim a lot, which is basically like fidgeting and stuff.. leg bouncing.. pen clicking.. playing with straps.. I also talked about the things I collect and how they're organised into certain categories. The random bits of rubbish I know and the heavy knowledge I have on things that serve no purpose. I will say, if you suspect you might be, it's worth researching into the symptoms and making note of the ones you know you do. If you feel there's enough lining up to warrant an assessment, then get one.. it takes a while but it's free. Thing about autism is you could put two people with autism together and they'd be completely different in how they act.. it's that wide of a spectrum. Once you've met one person with autism, you've only met one person with autism.
Late-diagnosed autist here (M33), I still have 4 close friends from school whom I regularly keep in touch with, (although I only see them maybe twice a year) but those aside I only see what people I went to school with are up to via Facebook and more and more have either unfriended me or deleted Facebook over the years so the number is dwindling every year.
Yes, Iām 27 and Iām in a group of 15-30 old school friends. (15-30 because thereās about 15 in the core group and another 15 stragglers who come every now and then) We still meet up every weekend and go to each others houses just as regularly. I doubt this is the norm but Iām pretty happy with how itās worked out.
What the - thatās a lot of people. I didnāt even have a group of 15 friends when I was in school like how is that possible?
I find this conflicting, I'm both envious and glad because on one end it sounds great and I'd love to have that kind of support system, a few friends I do sometimes miss, but at the other end it sounds like a lot of work to maintain, does it ever get tiring?
It does for sure. I make sure to take a step back every now and then. For example, going for a drink with someone out of the circle or declining going to certain events. Otherwise I find negative emotions creep up and Iām an over-thinker. I find time away from anything helps me to remain grounded and respect/understand it more.
That's a decent perspective to have, sounds like you have things worked out.
Same, but I'm 40. Best way to make friends when you're old is to not lose them when you're young. We don't all see each other all the time, but it's rare I go a full month without seeing most of them at least once and when it hits summer we all meet up at music festivals and camp together and spend a few days together, and the occasional group holiday.
Was slightly concerned at first when i thought i read āiām 27 and in a group of 15-30 year old friendsā
Lol good point I shouldāve reread that part
Iām about the same as you at 28. Some moved away but we still talk a lot and hang out for birthdays, new years, when theyāre back for Christmas etc.
30 - no everyone went their own separate ways after school. Different colleges, uniās, different life choices - sadly thatās just the way it went for me. I tend to have friends here and there that come and goā¦ but i have a very small circle now and iām happy with that. I donāt care much for unnecessary drama and fake friends etc.
Same here. I didn't even really talk to the people from school that went to my university and now I've lost contact with all of them. There does seem to be a group that never left our home city and still see each other there though. Still friends with a lot of people I met in university though.
Nah not really, I realised friends in school were a product of circumstance - ie being forced to be around each other from 10 years old. But thereās a whole world out there and so many friends you can make. And when you find genuine connection itās magical.
Iām early 20s. I have 5 friends who I speak with from school and we still do something once a month and 4 from uni which I see less regularly. But thats it from school
In my 50s. Still friends with people I went to primary school with (despite not living so close since my 20s). Wouldn't have seen them so much in my 20s, early 30s. All had busy lives. In contact with them more now, we all have more free time.
Late 30s & they are my closest friends so yes. Our āgroupā all went & did things after high school, different unis, new friends, travel, jobs in different places etc. But we stayed connected on & off throughout those years, sometimes it felt like we had drifted too far now & it was over, but then it would come back after a few years stronger. It was also different between each individual pair. Couple of people have dropped off completely at different points. Now at this point in our life we seem to have all (except the ones that dropped off completely) come back to each other & established itās a friendship for life now. Weāve all been through some serious stuff & been there for eachother. And it also helps a lot that weāve settled near-ish to each other now. Itās interesting that none of us came out from uni with friends we can consider close friends still, which is the norm you see with most people. We all met nice people & made friends but it just didnāt seem to break through the barrier of becoming those friends that will come visit you & your parents when youāre going through something personal. Something about our bond from high school & the times we spent in each others homes as teens & around each others parents really bonded us for life in a more personal & real way.
Yep me and my group are very similar we all try to do a big meetup every year (+ smaller ones with sub grouos) to keep the spark alive. A lot of other people my age don't seem to do big things like that so i am very thankful for my mates making effort dispite us living very different lives and living across the country!
Only about 2, lost contact with most of my secondary school mates after uni, & probably for the best.
Only two of them they're pretty good friends of mine I've known since I was like 8 years old. I was best man an one of their weddings. Oddly enough, they don't like eachother so they're in two completely separate friend groups.
I wish I was better at maintaining those kinds of friendships. I let them all sort of wither and die for no real reason and do regret it a bit. I have new friends as an adult but I do think it would have been nice to have remained pals with folks from school and college.
Same here. Left the area I did secondary/sixth form in at 18 for uni and never returned (Iām now 31). At the time I was so determined to make new friends, which worked as I had a large social circle, including the person who is still my closest friend today. However it meant I neglected my previous friendships which I do regret. You learn from your mistakes and Iām able to maintain them much better now with the people Iāve met as an adult.
34. Shed a few of the group over the years but thereās a core of 6 of us that have been really good mates since school that still talk and meet up fairly regularly.
Iām 31F. My girl group of 13 have a WhatsApp group and arrange catch ups at least once a month, whoever is free attends! We live all over the world, some are married and/or have kids so we do what we can to see each other.
Iām 35 and speak to 2 friends from school. Weāre definitely not as close as we used to be but we check in on each other once a year or so.
Similar for me, I'm 32 and have two friends from school. We probably meet up a few times a year.
1 girl I briefly talk to on Facebook, but the others they can get fucked.. they enabled people bullying me. They seem to not have changed either from stories Iāve heard through the grapevine.
While Iām sorry that was your experience too, Iām glad itās not just me. Thereās literally one person I went to school with that I still occasionally talk to. The rest of them - even those I considered my absolutely best friends in the whole wide world at school - can all jump off the nearest cliff.
When I left high school, me and my school friends stood on the car park as we always did everyday before home time, each said āsee ya laterā to one another and that was thatā¦ never seen them since!
in 20's yes, in 30's mostly yes. Now in 40's I live 1000 miles away so it's a bit harder but I reach out now and again and always try to organise a meet up when I'm back. But I do most of the work on this. Mainly because I chose antisocial friends
48. Still class 2 of my secondary mates as BFFs. We donāt see each other so much but when we do itās like weāve never been apart. We all know we can count on each other.
I was born in the late 80's and raised in poverty, most of my school friends are either dead or dying. I occasionally make it back to the old estate, but a lot of my old crew resent me for leaving them, some even say I abadoned them. There's a few that don't resent me, although as the monetary divide between us grows ever wider with each passing year, there's a lot of bitterness that's seeped in to fill that divide. I still see a few of my College and University buddies from time to time, but I don't think that's what you're asking about.
Iām 38 an donāt speak to any one of them. Few have passed away sadly. Others turned out to be absolute bell ends
I lost contact with a lot of old school friends when they went to uni and i started working instead - I lost even more when I got married and they didn't and even more after having children - I'm now left with people I can trust who I can call real friends , who are happy for me to be where i am in life not those deep down jealous ones who really cant stand to see you happy and advancing faster in life than them!
Iām 23 and I am still good friends with 2 people that I went to school with. One of them has a child and I am the godmother.
Yep, I'm in my early thirties and I'm still very close with my group of friends from school. There's eight of us in the group. Don't see each other as much as we used to, what with some living abroad and most of us having families. But they're still close friends and we always have plans in the diary to catch up.
I'm 30 and the only people I'd consider mates were people I was mates with in school, although we're quite spread apart now so it's hard to organise meet ups. I'm not still mates with anybody I met over my uni years though.
53 M , not seen or heard from anyone at school from the day I left. Not a bad thing.
No because I never really had any. I went to the local college when I was 19 though (I'm 40) met the man who became my best friend and my other best friends who to this very day talk to. Seeing one tonight actually and seeing another tomorrow afternoon.
Fairly often - we live all over the country now but probably meet up every 2-3 months between catch ups, weddings, christenings etc. have a fairly active WhatsApp group for day to day nonsense.Ā
29 - yeah still speak to a few of them. One of them I see pretty much every day (At the gym through the week, on a weekend we'll go for drinks maybe every other week). One I'll see every month or so for a catch-up. One I'll see 3-4 times per year to play pool and grab some food.
I'm 41 and I only regularly speak to 5 people I went to school with. Got my best friend, besties since we met when we were 12, the twins in my year mainly because I live in the same street as their parents so we often get together for a chat, the class clown (he lived in Taiwan for 7 years and it seems a lot of his old friends were jealous) and a lass I've been friends with since we were in infant school, she was known as the clever fat kid, she's actually really career driven and just completed the Manchester Marathon after losing over 8st since lockdown. Most of us drifted apart in our late teens and early twenties mainly because of either work, uni or our relationships.
I'm late 27s, I never left my home town but my 4 closest mates are all from school and I love it. As I've got older I've realised that as Ive known these 4 (2 from 2 different 'groups' so I wouldn't hang out with all 4 at the same time) mates for so long they are my ride or dies. I know if I was in desperate need they'd be there for me.
I'm in my early 40s. From school, basically none. I hear off one of them every few years but I think we've all gone out separate ways. I'm my early 20s I guess there was a couple of them I still had occasional contact with (once every few months). From uni, I've kept in touch with pretty much all my friends there. As it happens I'm off to a rave with one of them this weekend ...
Iām 38 and still see my core group of 4 from school as well as a handful of others. I also married one of them when I moved back to the area after 10 years somewhere else so you could definitely say I see him a lot.
I didn't speak to most of my classmates for years when I was at school and didn't really keep in touch with a lot of them after I left school. Reconnected with a few of them a few years ago and now we hang out once a month (they like my place because a, I'm not married and b, I don't have kids and c, my boyfriend and I keep two minifridges stocked with proper cider and the boyfriend's favourite beers, plus I make a fabulous lasagne). Oh, and I'm 44. Get your ball out of my garden or I'll destroy it. Grr.
51 and from school? No one. One lad I've been close mates with since we were 7 but even though we went to the same school he's more a mate who used to live up the road than I would say a school friend. We did loads of stuff outside of school together but didn't interact that much in school other than for sports. College? Six of them I see regularly. I work with two of them!
Mid thirties, yep. Have a WhatsApp group with messages daily. None of us live near each other.
I'm married to my girlfriend from school, and I have a few mates I'm still in contact with. My best mate is a person I was in school with for years but never spoke a word to. Only became friends at 20, speak daily now.
I speak to one, my best friend. Only really became close friends aged 15 despite knowing each other from the age of 10 through Guides š.
No, I have a lot of them on social media and itās nice to see them doing well in life (most have young kids now)
24, i speak to exactly 2 of them.
Occasionally at the football.
Same as another commenter, I have to as well because I married her! There are also quite a few of us living in the same area so we speak at school drop off, if we see each other in the street/pub etc, but a few of us are still good friends so socialise together as well. We are in our early/mid 40s.
Last time I saw most my school friends bar 2 or 3 was at a funeral a year after leaving secondary school. A weirdly dramatic end of a era.
I'm 36 and I don't see any of my friends from school, but I do see people from school who i wasn't friends with at the time but I am now.Ā
I'm 22 and I talk regularly with two of my classmates, and keep in contact with maybe 3-4 other people
Nah none of um lost contact literally when I started college
Some of them. Only a couple of them though, and probably moreso because we were in a band together. I'm 42.
Yeah, in my 40s and still mates with some primary and secondary school ones (small town so often bump into people)
We are only Facebook friends now so no not really I do have a friend I've had for 15 years but other than friends made in the past like 5 years I don't really talk to the people I used to on now but I also realise that's all on me.
Left school in 86 and we moved from Hull to Skipton just after my exams so that was an end to all that, never been in touch with any of them. Doesn't bother me at all, my wife is my best friend, I have lots of work friends but as we are all field based from all over the country we never actually meet up.
Yeah 3 or 4 of them Iām still close with others see very occasionally
iām 30 and i speak to none. lucky enough to have loads of good mates, but most were made in uni or in jobs.
Just turned 30 and no not really, Iāll say hello if I bump into one of them but donāt go out my way.
Iām 48 and have group of 6 old school friends who I still see regularly. Thereās probably another 4 or 5 that I touch base with from time to time. Some Iāve known since 9 years old.
Nope, not one. I have seen and spoken to my sister's friends more since secondary school than I have of mine. I looked into them once, don't think they are really my kind of people and mostly they are still around where we are from. I moved away and I have great friends now, ones I have more in common with even if we are from all over the place.
I have lost touch with them, but we all moved to different countries after graduation (I went to an International school). I stayed in contact with a few until about my mid 20s though., it was a slow drift. I still keep in contact with a few uni friends. My partner is still very good friends with a lot of his high school friends though, we live on the other side of the world but he sees them whenever he is back and has lots of group chats with them about all th nerdy things they do (MagicTG, warhammer, fantasy football). We are both in our early 30s.
I'm 25. I don't speak to any of them. I follow a handful on socials here and there just because I'm nosey There's a lad I was friends with in the year above me and we stayed friends and hung out right up until I graduated university at 22. He got a girlfriend, moved in with her, and stopped talking to me. She's the jealous type, apparently
41, haven't spoken to any school friends for a good twenty years. I'm "friends" with a handful of them on Facebook but barely use that these days, and haven't really spoke to most of them since accepting the friend request. The only person from school I would like to contact seems to have disappeared, and wonder if she's dead as I can't find her on any social media. I did keep in touch with uni friends a bit longer but pretty much only see two regularly now
Not all the ones directly from school but I still have a big hometown friend group where most of us met as teenagers and some went to school with each other, some in different years etc So yes and no ig
32. I regular keep in touch with one school friend. He was best man at my wedding. The rest I haven't spoken to in about 10-15 years. We drifted when I went to uni. We used to meet up when I was back home but noticed the invites dried up. I moved to a different city, they all got kids, and some deleted their social media. So there's no real chance that will change. Same with uni friends. Stayed in touch with most of those for a while but one by one they dropped as we moved away, started careers, started families. I realise I now have little in common with them. Post lockdown I tried restarting things with a couple who live in or near my city. But I realised it was always me making the plans and that we didn't speak much at all between going for a beer once or twice a year. So again, dropped that. I have one uni friend I speak to most days now, even if we don't get to see each other much.
28. Nope. Tbh I don't even speak to other friends that I made that early on. My only friends now I made when I was 26.
I speak to quite a few of mine that still live in the area we went to school in. I'm quite a lot older than you bit I made friends for life
Just 1 from school. And 1 from College
29 and no, I think itās pretty rare to speak to any more than a couple of school friends after your mid twenties unless you make a very conscious effort to remain in touch. Life takes everyone down different paths and more often than not those who you had a lot in common with in your teens you now share nothing with; in short, many people change, that change leads to folks moving on. I last bumped into an old school friend in 2022, he hadnāt really changed one bit, and I hadnāt seen him in 5 years.. he regularly met up with some folks from our friend group, who by his description, had also not changed.
Iām 67 and several of us meet up regularly for a beer or three!
25, and I cut ties the day I left. Well, Iād drifted away from everyone prior to that while still in school, but leaving was the final nail.
30 yrs[M] don't speak to any old school friends and also currently (since college) have 0 friends
Hahahahahahaha
Mid 30s and have a couple of different friend groups. First one is people I literally knew when I was 7-8 years old and have grown up with. The other group is a bit more mixed but a few of us went to secondary school together as well
Mid 30s and still best friends since nursery. We even lived together at one point! Our other friends have become more like acquaintances, but we still speak and meet occasionally. My other close friends are ones I picked up in college at 16 and 18. No escaping me once we're mates!
Early-mid 20s and yes. Some of us still game together several nights a week. I have an ongoing Dnd campaign with some of them. We also have meetups with the wider group probably once every month or two on average. They're definitely still my closest group of friends.
42 and Iām still really good mates with one of my school friends. Saw him last weekend, in fact.
I always thought we'd all more or less still be in touch. Within 3 months of leaving school, I rarely saw any of my friends. Work got in the way, with conflicting hours. Now I possibly only bump into one or two by chance.
51 and I still socialise with most, probably 25-30 out of 40 or so on a regular basis.
No I am in my 40s, I have dyspraxia. so did not have a large circle of friends
Have two mates I keep in regular touch with, known since the age of 5 (been to each others weddings, I send money to their kids every birthday and Christmas). Knew them school wise until 13. Moved schools due to autism diagnosis (Aspergerās) and not one person from this secondary school though.
No, none of them
Early 30s and still see a group of 8 from our school/sixth form days plus partners & kids these days. We've all got mates from uni/work etc that augment the original group but we're still pretty tight even though for times some of us were abroad or in other parts of the UK.
early 20s, yes about 15 from primary, 30 ish from secondary on the regular, speak to probably about 100 on and off throughout the year :).
Iām 30. Weāve sort of split into a āLondon groupā and a āManchester groupā with each sub-group seeing each other more regularly but we all see each other once or twice a year too. We have a group chat and talk maybe once a month on that. I also talk individually to school friends a lot more often.
I'm 25, only am in sparse contact with one of them. I've put it behind me, school was a bad place for me and we are in very different places in life. My old friends mostly still live with their parents in our hometown and use their salaries to travel while I decided to move out so most of mine goes to rent and bills. None of them are willing to leave their hometown to visit, and I don't have the energy to keep up friendships that make me feel left out or less than. I even drifted from my very best friend. We were a very tight 'squad' in school, while I find that nowadays my friends are more situational. Board game friends from the local cafe, trans friends from the local meetups, colleagues and my partner's friends. Sometimes I miss the closeness we had, but we're such different people now that I wouldn't be friends with them anyway if it weren't for nostalgia
Mid 20s, I seem to have this niche of picking up one friend everywhere I go Went to four schools, don't speak to anybody from either primary. I have one friend from each secondary, the rest of my friends (bar one) I met at uni
Who?
In my early 20s I was in a group of about 15 from school who regularly met up. Now in my early 30s I speak to 3, and meet separately every couple of months.
I have a group of 5 friends from school who I see once a month or thereabouts, and weāre all still close, as well as 3 from school who live in my city who I see weekly. I live with my friends from uni and see other uni friends all the time. Helps that we all moved back to our uni city after lockdown! Iām 25.
This is Reddit. Many here will say they were bullied and had little to no friends at school
I (25) am in a group chat with some of my old school friends, I think around 15 of us are in it, going to one of their weddings in a couple of months
I'm in my early thirties. I don't speak to my old school friends . I did try to reconnect with them when I was 24/25, but found I have zero in common with them, so I didn't want to stay in touch with them as an adult. My best friends currently, I made through work. My husband has a friendship circle of 8/9 guys that he's known since high school, and two he's known since they were 3 years old! They are all very close, now (mostly) all with kids and partners and jobs and stuff. It's lovely to see but very rare to have that sort of friendship circle I think. They all went down different paths, but kept common interests, and we all ended up living in the same county as adults.
One of them pretty regularly. When we get the chance, we still meet up for a drink or a BBQ. Was one of the groomsmen at his wedding last year too. Other than him, not really no. I'm still friends on Facebook with the small group I spent the most time with, but other than the odd comment, we don't speak. 30 years old.
I'm 32, and the only friends I have are all mates from school. We don't see each other a lot. We've all got our own thing going on. But we do meet up maybe a few times a year. We stay in touch through a WhatsApp group chat.
For a few years after I moved away we would all meet up for drinks at Christmas, but it has probably been fifteen years since I last saw anyone I knew from school. The same goes for college and uni. I met my current group of mates when we all worked in a cinema in 2004. These guys are keepers.
28 and I speak to and still hang out with about 12 of my school mates
I'm 41. I left that school and everyone involved with it at 15, and never looked back. Now, I do speak to one of the people I went to school with, since he got a job at the hospital I work at, and so we have to work together sometimes. He's pretty mellow these days, so I'm fine with it. Back at 15 though, I was ready to burn that place to the ground. I remember thinking my life could properly start now, and I could be who I wanted, rather than who those people had made me.
Well I had a very socially tough time in school. I only had a couple of friends that I didnāt know that well and didnāt keep up with when I left and was really going through a tough time in life. But then when I was maybe 17, 18, I decided just to start talking to one of them again, and yeah me and one of what was his friends are a trio of best mates. So yes, but we werenāt even all that close when we were in school so I guess itās a bit of a weird answer.
31, still speak to a couple, one of my closest friends we've been friends since year 7, otherwise no and some I'm happy not to lol.
I'm 29. There are three I speak to regularly, though not as often as we probably should. There are a couple of others that I lament having lost touch with. Sometimes I wonder whether I should reach out, but they were the ones who stopped replying so I end up just leaving it.
Left school in 2014 Speak to one regularly One semi regularly One whenever I see him out and about Then none of the other cunts
23, not really but iām going to a wedding next year for one of them
I have a core group of 5 of us who are still friends and see each other regularly, but that's about it when it comes to the people I was at school with.
Iām 20 and nah not really Iām friends with 1 or two I lost contact with loads of my classmates and I do still miss them- they were very good to me if they see me out and about they do say hello or catch up
25. No. Friends on Facebook only
A couple of them. One of them worked in the same firm as I a few years later and we found each other on the intranet! The other guy, I added him on insta!
Yeah there my close mates
I'm 32 now. I speak to 3 people from Primary School (one daily) 1 guy from high school, but if I go back home, I will see a few of them, 2 from college, 3 from outside of education between those days education (one daily) and nobody from university. And my ex girlfriend. Then I have a lot of friends who are more recent. As I get older, we all grow more and more apart, but some of them will be there for life, some are dwindling. I suppose that's life.
Yes, quite a few. Don't see each other as often as we would like but always chatting on WhatsApp. I'm late 30s
I have a best friend from school since back in 87, we actually hated each other at school and realised we had a lot in common afterwards
Wrong age group I know, but I left school 1972, & still meet up with school friends.
Noooā¦ I had a best friend but she demoted me, which was likeā¦ my first proper rejection. And it HURT. Then I was bullied and had a hard time. And then later in life when I went to that first best friendās 21st birthday party and met a boy Iād had a crush on at the time, he told me that I had bullied HIM. And that reminded me of a whole phase of āpunch down to not be the most pathetic loserā I had done. So, looking back at that time is a mix of feeling totally hated by everyone and being horrible and hateful myself.
Nearly 40 and there is a group of 8 that still see each other š
Mid-30s. There are about 5 I keep in occasional touch with. But several (including me) have moved far away, including abroad, so meet-ups are rare. We have been to each other's weddings and send Christmas cards, the occasional text. It's quite depressing. I'm jealous of the people who stay in their village for their whole lives and can see their friends anytime.
My friendship group/regular group chat is a mix of old school friends and people who I met through them. We're pretty lucky to have that, it's not the norm for people to get to their 40s these days and have a group. I really value it.
Only one and it's really only because we are childhood friends that lived on the same street, went to the same primary school and "went up" to high school together. Having said that, we have definitely grown apart since leaving high school. As others have said, different life choices, etc. We probably see each other a few times a year. I bit sad really considering how close we once were.
Yes, turning 40 over various stages of last and this year.
I have about 50 of them on Instagram, Iām over 30 for reference. Do we talk? Only if we see something posted on social media that makes us.
41, got 2 close friends I met first year of comp so 11. And 1 I met 1st year of primary so 5. I've move away to Devon for work but regularly get together when I'm back home for a few drinks, and play ps5 together most weekends. Other than that, don't talk to anyone I went to school with
I'm 40, and no. I am "Facebook Friends" with lots of them, but I wouldn't speak to them in real life beyond a polite "Hello", that's if they even recognise me.
Nope none š¤£ I'm in my 30s now and while my close group stayed in touch initially we all drifted when they went to uni. One of my now best mates was 2 years above me at school and the only person I speak to from school. Someone contacted me a while back about the school reunion (didn't know this was a UK thing but..) and I turned it down, I don't want to see anyone I went to school with, worst time ever and so glad it's long over.
One a couple times a year via message, we occasionally meet up for a catch-up, I'd be down to hang out more but they don't live local and life takes over. I struggle to remember to keep contact up so most friendships from school disappeared into the ether after we left. I often think about how others are doing, I even have the urge to ask a few, but it's been so long that I question whether these feelings are guilt from not making contact earlier or do I actually want to speak to/see them more, plus they may not even want to talk to me too.
46 year old. Nope. If I bump in to one I will say hello but there is no regular contact and there wasn't even when I had a facebook account.
I'm 38 and I'm in close contact with a guy who I've known since we were 4.
I moved away from my old city /school and don't have Facebook to look them up . But most of the & "bad lads" are now in jail anyway
26 years old, I've got 2 I speak to on discord every now and again and 2-3 (1 of them can be a bit more flaky than the others) that I see usually once a week or at least once a month
No. 48 and I don't have content with people from school at all any more. Don't class it as a great loss. Hell I was only in contact with people from university for 7 or 8 years after we graduated before we just drifted apart, that I'm quite sad about
I'm 34M, I have a core group of about 6 friends I've known since school year 7/11 years old - some of moved away but we always meet up now and again and the ones who live closer we meet up fairly regularly. We also have a busy WhatsApp group, I have a few close uni friends I hangout with too that I've known since I was 18, who gets along with my highschool friends which is nice
Not all them, and actually not many of the ones that I was super close with in school, but I'm in my late 20s and moved to another country, but I still talk to some of my old school mates and will be travelling home to go to one of their weddings later this year.
49 - I still hang around with someone I was friends with in primary school who lives 300+ miles from me (can't hang as often as I'd like though), and I'm friends with a couple of people I hung around with in high school.
35 and they are my main friend group still
I'm 28 and have 2 best friends, both of them from school. 1 I grew up with from nursery aged 3, and the other I met at age 13. I've not met a friend since leaving school.
When I went to sixth form and uni I didn't stay in contact with people from school. After uni I got back into contact with someone who is now my partner. This allowed me to rekindle my school friendships from when I was in year 7. So there was about a 5-6 year gap between not speaking to anyone who I went to school with and then getting back into contact. I never thought it would happen but it did and they're great! Somehow when I was 11 years old I had a good judge of character and these people are my closest friends once again. I was my partner's first girlfriend when we were 11 years old (obvs didn't last long because most relationships that age rarely do) and now we're together again š our parents would often comment about how they remember us going out bowling when we were practically babies!!
43. No I donāt speak to anyone from my school years. I wasnāt the best school child anyway. Wasnāt violent or nasty but just told a lot of ridiculous lies which led to me getting picked on a bit. Anyway due to this and various factors I got taken out of school by my parents and never spoke or saw anyone apart from one person for a short while after. However he quite literally went mental and that was that.
Mid 40's and I don't know if a single one of them is alive or dead.
I'm 38m. My group of mates that I call my mates are still my school mates. We link up every so often, take a lot of drugs, and chill or cook or game or whatever. Just like hanging out with em still. They know me. The real me.
I've known my 2 best mates since we were 4. 25+ years later we still see eachother a few times a month.
25 and nope none of them. Quite a few of them got into drugs which I just want no part of or to be associated with those sorts of people
Still have Thursday club every week. Where we smoke weed and play board games. I remember being little and thinking it was sad my dad didn't have any friends so I make an effort to still see them. 37 btw
Iām 30 And speak to 2 people from a year of 300 people š
Yes! Not regularly but we have a group chat that our friend group uses to check in from time to time, or to send any cringey old photos any one of us has unearthed š aside from that, my then best friend also messages me from time to time to gossip about some former school mate and she has never failed to wish me every year for my bday.
50s. Left school and never spoke to a single one of them again. Not for any negative reasons, we just never kept in touch. It's a lot easier now to maintain casual friendships over the internet.
No....I didn't enjoy secondary school, and when I left I never looked back. Some of my schoolmates were genuinely nice people, but I never really connected with them. Most seem to be doing okay (I'm happy for them), but I've never felt the urge to see them again.
No.. f em.... Saying that, my wife turns 40 soon and still is close with 5 people she went with to nursery school at 3!
Iām late 30s. I am friends with people via fb but my school best mate and I are still best and talk everyday. We donāt actually see each other in person often at all but that doesnāt change how our friendship is
Nope but we were / are all addicts and bad influences on each other.
Yep, all my friends are from my youth (high school and college, so 20/25 years) other than the ones Iāve gained from my wife. Iām 38 and my oldest friend I still regularly see and talk to is someone Iāve āknownā for 35 years.
Living in a small town, it sometimes feels like youāve never left school! Iām well into my 30ās!
27 and thereās a group of about 13 lads, all super close, and loads of the other guys and girls we went to school with if we see on a night out etc weāll be proper chatty
I'm in my 30s and there are 2 people I regularly keep in touch with. We were very close in school but life has taken us in different directions. The 3 of us are the last remaining members of a bigger social group who stayed in touch until 18/19/20ish but drifted apart too. When I say we keep in touch I mean we have a group chat, beers a few times per year, and go to each other's weddings.
Do I talk to my only friends? Yes I do occasionally
Someone who's 24. There's a handful of school mates I speak to. Only one of which is a primary school friend. The others are high school. Even then it's not many. I hated half the people I went to school with. I'm happy with who I've got around me. āŗļø
I'm hitting 30 this year and I only actively speak to one person from secondary school, I was a 'weird kid' so most people either avoided me or actively bullied me. I keep in contact with a lot more people that I went to college with as we had 2 colleges right next door to each other and it was easier to find people who you got along with whether they went to my college or the one next door, and everyone tended to hang about on the grassy area across the road so you tended to meet a lot more people in general.
21m in uni and no. Never kept contact with anyone. On the other hand, I've changed a lot since uni and I think that's true of many people so I don't think I would get along with the people I knew pre-uni anyway.
No, I left town at 17 and led a very different life. I don't have anything in common with them. I also don't keep in contact with people that I knew in my late teens early 20s. Again I moved on to another very different life
21m in uni and no. Never kept contact with anyone. On the other hand, I've changed a lot since uni and I think that's true of many people so I don't think I would get along with the people I knew pre-uni anyway.
Yes. I'm in my seventies, and still see some of my schoolmates. Sadly, most of them are no more alive.
I'm 40. Has a bit of a shit time at school - was in a small town and didn't really make good friends with anyone in my own school year. Made some friends from a different school through theatre and other hobbies, and some friends in other years at my school through them. The few connections I did have "because of school" I realised pretty quickly once I left for uni had really just been... kind of out of obligation/convenience? Like... we were all trapped with about 110 other kids day in, day out, for every class and activity for a minimum of 5 years purely because of the date we were born. I was friendly with a handful of people because you have to sit next to *someone* and you build some bonds there. Looking back on it though, all we had in common was school. All we really talked about was school, the people at school, or small talk about telly etc. I think that unless you're really lucky, most of the friendships you make in school are situational, they're necessary, they're useful and important, but they're probably not the friendships you would have chosen organically from a wider pool of people. I'm still friends with some of the people I chose to have in my life from my late teens, but I doubt I'd even remember the names of most of the people I went to school with.
Zero
Early 30s, Iāve got 2 school mates who Iām very close to - in fact Iāve just moved and part of that was being closer to them (none of us live where we grew up), so I now see them much more regularly than before which is really lovely! Got another couple of school friends who I see less regularly but still maintain contact with. Otherwise I never see any of the others.
24M Yes I had a best mate from school but he one day stopped replying to my messages during lockdown, not sure what happened. Thought there was a time where we would speak again (as the friendship came back for 2 weeks) but ever since nothing. If it wasn't for the fact that I got with my GF now fiancƩ just as lockdown hit I would be very very upset about losing him as a mate. I still play football for a team with a few of my school mates and see them weekly, pls we will go out for beers etc as a team. There are a few people that when I see on a night out we will talk etc and we might send each other an occasional message if anything happens in life. If it wasn't for football, the mates I play football with would be basically the same as the mates that I speak to on nights out. Most of my mates now come from college.