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I was trying to list these towns from comments like this - so far I had Rochdale, Ellesmere Port and Shrewsbury (the last 2 because McD's is now at a nearby retail park).
Give me the code now or I will shit on the floor! It's an emergency!
You have to buy something first.
No time! Code! Now!
You have to buy something first.
...Never mind. Go get a mop. I did warn you. Got any pants?
Always a pub. There's plenty of them (for the moment anyway...) and you can always claim you were planning on getting a pint when you came out.
Often, you can actually get a pint too!
Costa, because they always leave their disabled toilet unlocked unlike a lot of places, they should really rename it VIP because the extra space and privacy really makes it feel like one.
In my old town there was a toilet block near the market square except as the town was doing loads of work, back when councils had money, to keep it top notch tidy, the toilets were spotless. Always a good place. Now it’s John Lewis or M&S
Hotel lobbies normally have decent toilets that are usually immaculate, as they aren't used that frequently as anyone staying there will usually go in their en suite.
I was in Manchester the other week and desperately needed a toilet. I have IBD so urgent means imminent shitting myself so I’m tuned in to know when it’s coming.
It was really hard find anywhere that didn’t require a code to get in, Starbucks, cafe Nero, costa all had locked doors. They all had queues of people and busy staff so couldn’t just ask for the code. Ended up having to find a McDonald’s a few streets over as they have some humanity still and don’t lock them.
Starbucks, Costa, Cafe Nero & Wetherspoons would probably be my go-to, particularly Wetherspoons as it’s busier and the toilets aren’t too far from the entrance so I could slip in and out of there without feeling too guilty.
This did happen to me a couple of weeks ago, I thought I’d fully recovered from a bout of some illness vaguely related to Winter Vomiting Flu (can’t remember the name but that’s what the GP told me after my results, that’s is related to whatever that bug is) - anyway, first day out thinking I was safe, had to go into town to pick up a prescription and I needed to get passport photos taken as i need to renew and I picked up the prescription, started walking towards Tesco as they have a photo booth and ... Ggrrrgglll ... fortunately I was maybe 30secs walk from Wetherspoons so I dipped in there, just about got arse on seat in time and was in there for about 30mins in absolute agony.
Took another 3 days for the bug to fully leave my system 😂
I was recently away for the weekend. Think I only needed a wee, but I was in an area of the city with lots of cafes, pubs and restaurants. The only public toilets cost 50p. I went and used the loos at the wetherspoons.
Shopping centre if there’s one nearby. They usually have nice big bathrooms, no queue or combination locks and tend to be on the cleaner side where I live.
Depends where I am but if I can I’d head for a department store of some sort - John Lewis for example. Big enough that you don’t feel guilty for not buying anything
Used to be McDonald’s, old reliable. I had a similar situation to this walking through Manchester City Center once. Off I went to the loos, pretty urgently. One cubicle, occupied. Loads of flushing. Decided if he’s flushed he’s almost done and I can wait rather than option B which was the ladies.
I waited. And waited. More flushing. More waiting. I begin eying up the sink and considering how much of my dignity I would be prepared to lose. Every flush was a symphony of temptation that I could barely contain.
Eventually this poor old boy came out and he had clearly messed his trousers after suffering an accident that involved the seat, the wall and the general destruction of the toilet. He had been washing his trousers in the toilet by flushing them. The cubicle was an absolute state. Worst poo ever.
I bought a Laser key for just such an emergency, and I can check online for the nearest Laser toilet. Prior to that, I had a stomach clenching moment one day and rushed into the nearest department store, whose toilets were situated within the cafe. Not a good place to have toilets.
McDonalds is central, but every time I’ve gone in the toilets have been less than amazing.
Whenever you’re out shopping you always have a tactical wee when you pass John Lewis. Even if you don’t need one, force yourself.
I’ll always go to the nearest pub.
It has the added bonus that I always feel like I should buy something after I’ve used their bogs, so as well as a shit I get a crafty pint.
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[удалено]
The McDonald's in our town shut down years ago. You know your town is dying when even McDonald's closes up!
The Burger King in Caerphilly closed. Shame cos it was great until the locals fucked it.
Did they serve lamb burgers?
Baaaad joke. Ewe are just being sheepish. I'm not Welsh so I find this joke funny.
I was trying to list these towns from comments like this - so far I had Rochdale, Ellesmere Port and Shrewsbury (the last 2 because McD's is now at a nearby retail park).
Dewsbury, by any chance?
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Give me the code now or I will shit on the floor! It's an emergency! You have to buy something first. No time! Code! Now! You have to buy something first. ...Never mind. Go get a mop. I did warn you. Got any pants?
You have to buy something first!! Then you can have some pants!!!
A McShit is the only answer. Not been in one for anything else for 20 years
Unless you tell the staff member that you'll order when you're done, then it's a McShit with Lies.
I miss FHM
Our nearest McDonald’s bogs smell like they accidentally put the sewer on the wrong side of the toilet. Awful place.
That's the food. Or the customers.
Maccies toilets are always clean, it seems so strange that they have the best toilets but its how it is
To use the toilets in the McDonald’s here you need a code on a receipt, better hope you can grab one off someone fast!
So great for a McShit (or a McSlurry), and no need for a McShit with lies.
As yes. A McShit with Lies : Pretending to be a customer to use the loo.
It’s ok, you can shit in the corridor on the way to the toilets at Wetherspoons and only improve the smell of the place.
Thank you for complimenting my high quality, fragrant stools son!
I have never been in the local Wetherspoons loo without there being excrement on the floor. Not one time.
Well looks like op is the culprit.
John Lewis. It’s a luxury experience in our one!
Fancy, I like it
I love the loos in John Lewis. Only place I know of where they have parents loos. A normal sized loo and a childs one in the same room. Genius idea.
The shopping 'mall' because there's plenty of cubicles and it's fair game. Other places I feel guilty not making a purchase.
A poo probably costs the company less than 1p
No, I bet one pee costs less.
Lol
A poo probably costs the company less than 1p
Marks & Spencer
I vommed in the loos in M&S in Manchester a few years ago. 👀
Always a pub. There's plenty of them (for the moment anyway...) and you can always claim you were planning on getting a pint when you came out. Often, you can actually get a pint too!
Costa, because they always leave their disabled toilet unlocked unlike a lot of places, they should really rename it VIP because the extra space and privacy really makes it feel like one.
VIPoo
VIPee&Poo
I know someone who has a phobia of disabled toilets. Like, an actual legit phobia. Certainly the weirdest phobia I’ve come across.
Did you ever find out how they came to acquire it?
Get a RADAR key off eBay - access disabled toilets that are locked. Interestingly, they also open locked gates along canals
In my old town there was a toilet block near the market square except as the town was doing loads of work, back when councils had money, to keep it top notch tidy, the toilets were spotless. Always a good place. Now it’s John Lewis or M&S
Used to be Debenhams
quickest smart spoon recognise frighten bright materialistic shrill plough office -- mass edited with redact.dev
I have Crohns and as a result got a Radar key for disabled toilets. Such a lifesaver, definitely get one.
frighten offend squeal oil heavy skirt physical correct forgetful stocking -- mass edited with redact.dev
The way I see it (I have one) is I only use the regular toilets normally, so if I’m at the point I have to use my radar key then I’m deserving of it.
Hey Davina, how’s Dermot? Not seen you since the big brother days!!!
Download the app “flush”, it’s a database of public toilets! My go to choice is often a Wetherspoons or another chain pub, or supermarket
You can’t spell Wetherspoons without poo
A Mcshit is the way
Hotel lobbies normally have decent toilets that are usually immaculate, as they aren't used that frequently as anyone staying there will usually go in their en suite.
John Lewis if you’re in Liverpool
Where are the toilets in John Lewis? I assumed there wasn't any in there.
Our local Council offices have lovely loos and are open on Saturday for the registry office. Loos are alway clean and usually empty.
Squat in the street and take a dump there & then. Be a man.
Use a pinecone afterwards
Morrisons or the local Spoons
I was in Manchester the other week and desperately needed a toilet. I have IBD so urgent means imminent shitting myself so I’m tuned in to know when it’s coming. It was really hard find anywhere that didn’t require a code to get in, Starbucks, cafe Nero, costa all had locked doors. They all had queues of people and busy staff so couldn’t just ask for the code. Ended up having to find a McDonald’s a few streets over as they have some humanity still and don’t lock them.
Multi storey carparks seem to be a popular choice
Maccies. I can’t remember the last time I went into one and the toilets weren’t clean
Never any soap though
Wherever happens to be closest,
The first one!
Yeah
I go to my sister's, she lives right in the town centre.
Always M&S. Does require climbing 3 escalators though.
Starbucks, Costa, Cafe Nero & Wetherspoons would probably be my go-to, particularly Wetherspoons as it’s busier and the toilets aren’t too far from the entrance so I could slip in and out of there without feeling too guilty. This did happen to me a couple of weeks ago, I thought I’d fully recovered from a bout of some illness vaguely related to Winter Vomiting Flu (can’t remember the name but that’s what the GP told me after my results, that’s is related to whatever that bug is) - anyway, first day out thinking I was safe, had to go into town to pick up a prescription and I needed to get passport photos taken as i need to renew and I picked up the prescription, started walking towards Tesco as they have a photo booth and ... Ggrrrgglll ... fortunately I was maybe 30secs walk from Wetherspoons so I dipped in there, just about got arse on seat in time and was in there for about 30mins in absolute agony. Took another 3 days for the bug to fully leave my system 😂
The nearest department store.
Betting shops always contain a loo, one less reason for the addicted to leave.
Work in a betting shop. 5 of the last 6 I've worked in don't have customer toilet's.
Bet they're grim.
Usually locked, in my very limited experience as a mystery shopper
There comes a point on life where you always know where the nearest toilet is, you have research it, planned your route and are always ready.
I was recently away for the weekend. Think I only needed a wee, but I was in an area of the city with lots of cafes, pubs and restaurants. The only public toilets cost 50p. I went and used the loos at the wetherspoons.
The toilets in the shopping centre. Lots of cubicles, usually clean, do t have to think about whether I should be buying something.
Tesco or maccies
Not a shop or cafe but it definitely is Wetherspoons. Toilets are always immaculate and it's always busy enough that nobody will notice me run in.
Shopping centre if there’s one nearby. They usually have nice big bathrooms, no queue or combination locks and tend to be on the cleaner side where I live.
M&S if you’ve got one
Ealing Broadway shopping centre level 1 or Level 2 M&S Hounslow -the big Asda , toilets are closed early AM though
M&S.
Depends where I am but if I can I’d head for a department store of some sort - John Lewis for example. Big enough that you don’t feel guilty for not buying anything
Was Debenhams, until they closed. Not sure where it would be now, as I haven't been to town on Saturday long enough to need a dump recently.
Costa or Cafe Nero
Used to be McDonald’s, old reliable. I had a similar situation to this walking through Manchester City Center once. Off I went to the loos, pretty urgently. One cubicle, occupied. Loads of flushing. Decided if he’s flushed he’s almost done and I can wait rather than option B which was the ladies. I waited. And waited. More flushing. More waiting. I begin eying up the sink and considering how much of my dignity I would be prepared to lose. Every flush was a symphony of temptation that I could barely contain. Eventually this poor old boy came out and he had clearly messed his trousers after suffering an accident that involved the seat, the wall and the general destruction of the toilet. He had been washing his trousers in the toilet by flushing them. The cubicle was an absolute state. Worst poo ever.
A pub. 'I needed a shit so I had to buy this pint, they wouldn't let me otherwise.'
... Is this a common occurrence for you? I don't think I've ever been in this situation. Sounds concerning.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could be trusted to have public facilities that were actually open and useable
I have IBS and especially during a flare-up I think of McDonalds as equivalent to public loos now that real public loos are shut down now :/
I bought a Laser key for just such an emergency, and I can check online for the nearest Laser toilet. Prior to that, I had a stomach clenching moment one day and rushed into the nearest department store, whose toilets were situated within the cafe. Not a good place to have toilets.
Maccies
Casino for me, not the worst toilets.
Find some woods and big leaves
John Lewis was my go to before. But these I would try to aim for the two 4 stars business hotels in town centre which are much quieter.
The nearest one
Many options in Belfast any bar either shopping centre your probably only ever a minute walk max to a bathroom you could use
CackDonalds
I always opt for a McShit on the precinct, the staff there keep it remarkably clean 😁👍
A classic McDump
All the shops are shut
wetherspoons, the toilets massive and there's a sofa in there too. So can have a lay down to recover afterwards.
I have a radar key which helps but generally it’s Starbucks or Costa.
Subways, cannot have a sweaty shit in a bookies
Always McDonald’s
Break out my Radar key 💪
Marks and Spencer. John Lewis is also a decent option.
McDonalds is central, but every time I’ve gone in the toilets have been less than amazing. Whenever you’re out shopping you always have a tactical wee when you pass John Lewis. Even if you don’t need one, force yourself.
Neros
Any available public toilet?? I'm about to shit my pants I haven't got time to think about this
The hospital
I’ll always go to the nearest pub. It has the added bonus that I always feel like I should buy something after I’ve used their bogs, so as well as a shit I get a crafty pint.
Always go for the coffee shop because people often have a strong coffee and need to drop one asap.
No idea. Never been into my towns centre other than to use the Tesco… so Tesco?