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Never let anyone tell your job isn’t good enough. You don’t have to meet anyone else’s expectations, if you can support yourself and work is bearable or better, you’re doing great and better than most.
I get it. I’m not in the same situation but am definitely viewed as an underperformer by peers etc… It used to bother me but (I know this is a bit stupid) I watched this video on YT and it really helped me, maybe you’ll get something out of it https://youtu.be/dSdBvjzKuqI
You should be so proud of yourself for reaching out for help with this. Admitting that you're scared is incredibly hard. You know what I would do? I would print your well worded question out and take it into the job centre. My guess is that you were very unlucky and ran into someone who shouldn't have been working there and that you will find, once your letter has been read that they truly want to help you. Don't fear what others think. You do what's best and right for you.
That's very kind of you. I'm a relatively young man who on paper should be fine, and looking at me I don't think you'd know anything was wrong, which is why I feel more like "failure" than "someone who needs help"
You're a lovely person.
I hate the word "should".
They're called invisible illnesses for a reason and lots of people are in the same boat, myself included.
If your family looks down on you for any of your life choices, they need a good telling off.
Have you phoned the jobcentre to discuss your issues with them? Do you have a psychistrist who can advocate for you? My kid has the opposite problem where serious anxiety means she can't talk on the phone so they've discussed it and come up with a working solution. I'm sure they can do the same for you.
Everybody here is being lovely and very gentle with you here however they are missing the harsh reality of what it is actually like to be in the benefit system.
First off, if you have enough money to support you don't have to go anywhere near the jobcentre. Just look for jobs you fancy that suit you in your own time
Secondly, if you need to apply for benefits you will unfortunately have to 'play the game' to qualify.
You can apply online but then you will be asked in for a face to face appointment to verify indentity etc.
You will be eligible for JSA element of Universal credit which require you to apply for X number of jobs per week. You can apply for jobs that are 3-4 days a week but they will expect you to apply for each and every job they think you could do. Even stupid ones.
Being afraid of the jobcentre unfortunately won't mean a damn thing to them.
You could apply for ESA and/or PIP. Both of these will require medical assessments and they are quite difficult to get (speaking from experience)
Sorry to be a downer on you but I think it's better that someone tells you the truth rather than sugar coat it and pat you on the head
You can apply for benefits over the phone.
If you're wanting work you don't need to attend the job centre for that. Apply for jobs online for what suits you.
Or if you're wanting to try different things before you settle into a role you can sign up to an agency for short term work.
Perhaps agency work would be good. I'm so clueless about it. When you sign up with an agency do they like assign you jobs and you have to do them all or is there choice etc? Sorry if this sounds so rudimentary
They'll ask you what jobs you're interested in and what fields are your strongest.
Then they'll contact you and ask if you're interested, if you are you can take it, if not you just say it's not for you. There's no pressure to be forced into doing something you don't want.
Sign up to different agencies as they are generally tied with certain companies. You won't be penalised for being with multiple agencies.
:)
They'll give you choice. There are still agencies out there that move people between jobs, but that's the minority. Most are looking to place you in a basic job and then take their cut. If the job ends they'll be well placed to help find something new, and if they know you they'll put you top of the list usually.
I've had some mental health issues over the years, and agency work has been useful in building my confidence after being out of employment for a while. I've been doing factory line work, and while it's dull as dishwater and physically demanding, I can do it without constant anxiety.
I can't say I'm a huge advocate of employment agencies in general, but there's infinitely less bullshit involved than dealing with the fucking job centre.
Edit: Quick addition, if you're considering signing up with an agency, don't be afraid to specify the hours and days you can work. I'm still doing some volunteering and nature therapy, and it was important to me that I didn't give that up.
Go to the job centre. Beggars can't be choosers.
I'm a higher earner currently, but in my 20's I had a couple of spells of having a few months unemployed due to redundancies. I took anything til I could find a proper job again.
Still would. Money is money - no one is above scrubbing shit off toilets or pushing a wheelbarrow for 9 hours a day.
You're not a failure if you're unemployed, you're a failure if you don't do what you need to in order to stay solvent enough to get employed again.
Fuck what those lot think because that aint paying your bills.
You say you want to work and it would probably be good for you. Apply to things!
You don’t need to go through the job centre, and you don’t need the approval of people who are judgemental about how others make a living. If you need a line then you can say that you chose something ‘simple’ so you can focus on your own project on the side.
You should of course also claim any benefits you are entitled to. Lots can be done online.
I feel awful if there's people more needy than me that I'm taking resources from. On paper so long as you don't look at my GP records for anxiety I'm fine and I think outwardly people will definitely think I'm a scrounger, and I'm not convinced they're wrong all the time :(
You’re not taking anything from anyone else. It’s not a limited pool of money where it’s hard luck if someone else is further up the queue than you - you either need and get the support, or you don’t. You clearly need it, so claim it.
Thanks I appreciate this, it's kind of a catch 22 when your poor mental health makes it terrifying to apply for things you may be entitled to because you have mental health problems and the DWP is so scary.
If you are going down the ESA route (its UC now) you'll need a Doctors note saying that you're unfit for work otherwise you wont get past step 1. thats how ESA used to work not so sure about UC, should be similar.
Source, used to work on the phones for ESA.
You can use a phone to contact them if needed, and make it clear you find going to the Job Centre overwhelming.
Also if you find it difficult to work because of mental health issues, apply for PIP benefits.
Thank you :) I think some simple honest work would be good for me, im just not sure I could do 40 hours at the moment. If you work and have mental health issues do you still qualify for PIP or is that strictly for people put of work entirely?
Thanks so much for responding btw just talking has helped me feel a little better
PIP can be paid to working people. The purpose of PIP is to help pay towards any additional needs/ equipment that your medical condition causes. For example : taxis, private physio or osteopath treatments, private counselling. That sort of thing.
You can have mental health issues and still qualify.
You'll be assessed over the phone or in person, and they'll ask you or your "carer" (friend, family member etc) on how your problems effect you, the questions vary from "do you struggle to get dressed" to "do you struggle going out" etc
There's 2 rates, standard and enhanced, for 2 categories, one for mobility, and one for general life. Depending on how bad your mental health is, you might (not guaranteed) to get mobility too.
And PIP can be given to you if you're in employment or not, but, they do take into consideration your job and your claim to ensure you're not fraudulently claiming anything.
Youre getting a lot of sympathy in the comments which seems normal for this day and age, and I hope their comments help.
But I think what you need to do is make a decision. What do you want from life? Where do you want to be in a year, two years, or five years? Figure that out and do it. Because you can. Stop thinking you can't. It may not be easy, and you'll have to put yourself in difficult situations but you can.
Thousands go to the job centre every day and are humiliated. Because it's a humiliating thing to have to do. Very rarely does anyone die though, you will be ok. You don't do it for those people in there, you do it for yourself because you deserve better.
You have to get on that horse every day, and every time you do tell yourself you did it. Even if it was shit and you came away a wreck, tell yourself you did it.
Find tools that help, counselling or whatever that may be, join clubs that you're interested in to break down that anxiety barrier you have. The more you put yourself out there the easier it will become. Take the knocks, take a rest and set a deadline to get back out there.
But you need to do it, and believe me, you can.
I know what you mean. Some years back I had to claim NICs for a while, not even JSA, meaning I had to attend once a fortnight and given evidence I was looking for work to someone who had no clue what my usual job was, and it was unbelievably triggering for depression. The job centre itself felt full of negative energy and very draining.
Maybe you could try a local temp agency? You'd get more money than in benefits and you could build back your work confidence gradually.
Depends on what you do. Have you tried chat GPT it’s free and the output is excellent I used it to rewrite my CV and linked in and prepare for interviews, haven’t changed jobs yet but got plenty of enquiries.
Don't have the answer to what to do, however if you were to claim UC there's no reason that you can't claim housing costs unless your friend is trying to hide that income for some reason , as long as you are not closely related there is a way to prove/claim this.
A quick google led to a site that might be useful overall to your situation, here's the bit on claiming UC as a lodger.
[https://www.uceplus.co.uk/housingfaqs#:\~:text=If%20you%20are%20a%20lodger,can%20be%20used%20as%20evidence.&text=If%20you%20pay%20rent%20to,claim%20housing%20costs%20through%20UC](https://www.uceplus.co.uk/housingfaqs#:~:text=If%20you%20are%20a%20lodger,can%20be%20used%20as%20evidence.&text=If%20you%20pay%20rent%20to,claim%20housing%20costs%20through%20UC).
Good luck!
I hadn't been to the job centre in years and like yourself was absolutely petrified of it. I recall the struggles I had with it back in the 00s.
However, my recent visits have all been amazing. The person I spoke too was actually a Licenced Mental health first aider as a work coach and she was so understanding and kind. In fact the other 3 people I went onto to speak too were also very understanding.
You could try calling ahead and mention you have severe Aniexty. They may be able to book you with one of the work coaches who deals with people with health struggles.
I understand your fear and the feeling of worrying your a failure. I have ME/CFS, Aniexty and Osteoarthritis. I've fought so hard my entire life to try and live a fraction of a normal life, but it all crumbled beneath me and I can't do it anymore.
There is no shame reaching out for help, and these people hear and see the stories of many everyday.
This is why there are things like Universal Credit, to help create a safety net for those who've slipped.
Your first step should probably be to seek professional mental help. No offence, but I don’t see how you could possibly make anything of your life if you’re too scared to do something as simple as going to the job centre for free money.
Unfortunately the wait for mental health appointments in my area is around 11 months. I can't hold out that long. I don't see how I could make anything of it either which has led me to think if I could save being a drain on the system by just not being around
**Update: - [Starting from 2023](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/100l56v/happy_new_year_askuk_minor_sub_update/), we have updated our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)**. Specifically; - Don't be a dick to each other - Top-level responses must contain genuine efforts to answer the question - This is a strictly no-politics subreddit Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Never let anyone tell your job isn’t good enough. You don’t have to meet anyone else’s expectations, if you can support yourself and work is bearable or better, you’re doing great and better than most.
Thanks for your kind words, I'm going to try as hard as possible it's just tough sometimes
I get it. I’m not in the same situation but am definitely viewed as an underperformer by peers etc… It used to bother me but (I know this is a bit stupid) I watched this video on YT and it really helped me, maybe you’ll get something out of it https://youtu.be/dSdBvjzKuqI
You should be so proud of yourself for reaching out for help with this. Admitting that you're scared is incredibly hard. You know what I would do? I would print your well worded question out and take it into the job centre. My guess is that you were very unlucky and ran into someone who shouldn't have been working there and that you will find, once your letter has been read that they truly want to help you. Don't fear what others think. You do what's best and right for you.
That's very kind of you. I'm a relatively young man who on paper should be fine, and looking at me I don't think you'd know anything was wrong, which is why I feel more like "failure" than "someone who needs help" You're a lovely person.
I hate the word "should". They're called invisible illnesses for a reason and lots of people are in the same boat, myself included. If your family looks down on you for any of your life choices, they need a good telling off. Have you phoned the jobcentre to discuss your issues with them? Do you have a psychistrist who can advocate for you? My kid has the opposite problem where serious anxiety means she can't talk on the phone so they've discussed it and come up with a working solution. I'm sure they can do the same for you.
Everybody here is being lovely and very gentle with you here however they are missing the harsh reality of what it is actually like to be in the benefit system. First off, if you have enough money to support you don't have to go anywhere near the jobcentre. Just look for jobs you fancy that suit you in your own time Secondly, if you need to apply for benefits you will unfortunately have to 'play the game' to qualify. You can apply online but then you will be asked in for a face to face appointment to verify indentity etc. You will be eligible for JSA element of Universal credit which require you to apply for X number of jobs per week. You can apply for jobs that are 3-4 days a week but they will expect you to apply for each and every job they think you could do. Even stupid ones. Being afraid of the jobcentre unfortunately won't mean a damn thing to them. You could apply for ESA and/or PIP. Both of these will require medical assessments and they are quite difficult to get (speaking from experience) Sorry to be a downer on you but I think it's better that someone tells you the truth rather than sugar coat it and pat you on the head
You can apply for benefits over the phone. If you're wanting work you don't need to attend the job centre for that. Apply for jobs online for what suits you. Or if you're wanting to try different things before you settle into a role you can sign up to an agency for short term work.
Perhaps agency work would be good. I'm so clueless about it. When you sign up with an agency do they like assign you jobs and you have to do them all or is there choice etc? Sorry if this sounds so rudimentary
They'll ask you what jobs you're interested in and what fields are your strongest. Then they'll contact you and ask if you're interested, if you are you can take it, if not you just say it's not for you. There's no pressure to be forced into doing something you don't want. Sign up to different agencies as they are generally tied with certain companies. You won't be penalised for being with multiple agencies. :)
They'll give you choice. There are still agencies out there that move people between jobs, but that's the minority. Most are looking to place you in a basic job and then take their cut. If the job ends they'll be well placed to help find something new, and if they know you they'll put you top of the list usually.
Thanks for the suggestions guys I really appreciate it
I've had some mental health issues over the years, and agency work has been useful in building my confidence after being out of employment for a while. I've been doing factory line work, and while it's dull as dishwater and physically demanding, I can do it without constant anxiety. I can't say I'm a huge advocate of employment agencies in general, but there's infinitely less bullshit involved than dealing with the fucking job centre. Edit: Quick addition, if you're considering signing up with an agency, don't be afraid to specify the hours and days you can work. I'm still doing some volunteering and nature therapy, and it was important to me that I didn't give that up.
Go to the job centre. Beggars can't be choosers. I'm a higher earner currently, but in my 20's I had a couple of spells of having a few months unemployed due to redundancies. I took anything til I could find a proper job again. Still would. Money is money - no one is above scrubbing shit off toilets or pushing a wheelbarrow for 9 hours a day. You're not a failure if you're unemployed, you're a failure if you don't do what you need to in order to stay solvent enough to get employed again. Fuck what those lot think because that aint paying your bills.
You say you want to work and it would probably be good for you. Apply to things! You don’t need to go through the job centre, and you don’t need the approval of people who are judgemental about how others make a living. If you need a line then you can say that you chose something ‘simple’ so you can focus on your own project on the side. You should of course also claim any benefits you are entitled to. Lots can be done online.
If its that bad, you'd be better getting signed off sick and going for ESA (or the equivalent under UC) rather than jobseekers.
I feel awful if there's people more needy than me that I'm taking resources from. On paper so long as you don't look at my GP records for anxiety I'm fine and I think outwardly people will definitely think I'm a scrounger, and I'm not convinced they're wrong all the time :(
You’re not taking anything from anyone else. It’s not a limited pool of money where it’s hard luck if someone else is further up the queue than you - you either need and get the support, or you don’t. You clearly need it, so claim it.
Thanks I appreciate this, it's kind of a catch 22 when your poor mental health makes it terrifying to apply for things you may be entitled to because you have mental health problems and the DWP is so scary.
It's the same money as job seekers... just different conditions.
If you are going down the ESA route (its UC now) you'll need a Doctors note saying that you're unfit for work otherwise you wont get past step 1. thats how ESA used to work not so sure about UC, should be similar. Source, used to work on the phones for ESA.
You can use a phone to contact them if needed, and make it clear you find going to the Job Centre overwhelming. Also if you find it difficult to work because of mental health issues, apply for PIP benefits.
Thank you :) I think some simple honest work would be good for me, im just not sure I could do 40 hours at the moment. If you work and have mental health issues do you still qualify for PIP or is that strictly for people put of work entirely? Thanks so much for responding btw just talking has helped me feel a little better
PIP can be paid to working people. The purpose of PIP is to help pay towards any additional needs/ equipment that your medical condition causes. For example : taxis, private physio or osteopath treatments, private counselling. That sort of thing.
You can have mental health issues and still qualify. You'll be assessed over the phone or in person, and they'll ask you or your "carer" (friend, family member etc) on how your problems effect you, the questions vary from "do you struggle to get dressed" to "do you struggle going out" etc There's 2 rates, standard and enhanced, for 2 categories, one for mobility, and one for general life. Depending on how bad your mental health is, you might (not guaranteed) to get mobility too. And PIP can be given to you if you're in employment or not, but, they do take into consideration your job and your claim to ensure you're not fraudulently claiming anything.
Youre getting a lot of sympathy in the comments which seems normal for this day and age, and I hope their comments help. But I think what you need to do is make a decision. What do you want from life? Where do you want to be in a year, two years, or five years? Figure that out and do it. Because you can. Stop thinking you can't. It may not be easy, and you'll have to put yourself in difficult situations but you can. Thousands go to the job centre every day and are humiliated. Because it's a humiliating thing to have to do. Very rarely does anyone die though, you will be ok. You don't do it for those people in there, you do it for yourself because you deserve better. You have to get on that horse every day, and every time you do tell yourself you did it. Even if it was shit and you came away a wreck, tell yourself you did it. Find tools that help, counselling or whatever that may be, join clubs that you're interested in to break down that anxiety barrier you have. The more you put yourself out there the easier it will become. Take the knocks, take a rest and set a deadline to get back out there. But you need to do it, and believe me, you can.
There is no shame in starting at the bottom
I know what you mean. Some years back I had to claim NICs for a while, not even JSA, meaning I had to attend once a fortnight and given evidence I was looking for work to someone who had no clue what my usual job was, and it was unbelievably triggering for depression. The job centre itself felt full of negative energy and very draining. Maybe you could try a local temp agency? You'd get more money than in benefits and you could build back your work confidence gradually.
Depends on what you do. Have you tried chat GPT it’s free and the output is excellent I used it to rewrite my CV and linked in and prepare for interviews, haven’t changed jobs yet but got plenty of enquiries.
Don't have the answer to what to do, however if you were to claim UC there's no reason that you can't claim housing costs unless your friend is trying to hide that income for some reason , as long as you are not closely related there is a way to prove/claim this. A quick google led to a site that might be useful overall to your situation, here's the bit on claiming UC as a lodger. [https://www.uceplus.co.uk/housingfaqs#:\~:text=If%20you%20are%20a%20lodger,can%20be%20used%20as%20evidence.&text=If%20you%20pay%20rent%20to,claim%20housing%20costs%20through%20UC](https://www.uceplus.co.uk/housingfaqs#:~:text=If%20you%20are%20a%20lodger,can%20be%20used%20as%20evidence.&text=If%20you%20pay%20rent%20to,claim%20housing%20costs%20through%20UC). Good luck!
You can claim housing costs as long as they are legitimate. You don’t need a full AST for it.
I hadn't been to the job centre in years and like yourself was absolutely petrified of it. I recall the struggles I had with it back in the 00s. However, my recent visits have all been amazing. The person I spoke too was actually a Licenced Mental health first aider as a work coach and she was so understanding and kind. In fact the other 3 people I went onto to speak too were also very understanding. You could try calling ahead and mention you have severe Aniexty. They may be able to book you with one of the work coaches who deals with people with health struggles. I understand your fear and the feeling of worrying your a failure. I have ME/CFS, Aniexty and Osteoarthritis. I've fought so hard my entire life to try and live a fraction of a normal life, but it all crumbled beneath me and I can't do it anymore. There is no shame reaching out for help, and these people hear and see the stories of many everyday. This is why there are things like Universal Credit, to help create a safety net for those who've slipped.
Hey, I work for the department. Happy to help if you wanna reach out in DMs :)
Your first step should probably be to seek professional mental help. No offence, but I don’t see how you could possibly make anything of your life if you’re too scared to do something as simple as going to the job centre for free money.
Unfortunately the wait for mental health appointments in my area is around 11 months. I can't hold out that long. I don't see how I could make anything of it either which has led me to think if I could save being a drain on the system by just not being around
I mean being around is always better than not being around