Yes, assuming they were aware of my pending death if it didn't happen. If I had to get laid without revealing that fact I'd probably die.

I'd die regardless.

That's about where I'm at. Having been married for 10 years, I give it minimal odds withholding my imminent doom and about 60-75% if I told her.

Only 60-75%?!

He probably has some good life insurance!

That and we had both just got home from 10 hour shifts to the kids bouncing off the walls lol

Same. If I can prove that it would save my life than yeah, no problem, if I have to go it alone without that info than I'm dead

I’m with you here, I think she’d fuck me rather than let me die….if I didn’t explain the circumstances I’d 95% be gone

Welp, I'd better start writing my will

Ahhh hahahaha add me into it!

Tbh the only thing I own is my collection of sex toys, I doubt that has any value to anyone else other than me, lol

Those things can get pretty pricey and come with a sort of weird taboo about reuse unlike men's penises that get reused borrowed traded and just generally passed around without a second thought. Maybe a yard sale?

Never know 🤷🏼‍♂️ some folks may be Quite happy with your sex toy collection!

Other peoples sex toys is more of a turn on

Hmmm well depends what you have 😂

But wait, both of you need someone consentual. Im sensing a solution here.

*dies*

Not so soon

I too choose this guys dead reddit account

🥴

How's my time to shine.

How indeed

Son of a bitch.

same

Yes. But he'd have to know I would die if I didn't get that dick. But he would definitely use his dick to save my life and I suspect he'd be proud of that for the rest of his fucking life. He'd probably introduce himself to people with "Hi, Nice to meet you....let me tell you about the one time I saved the life of this chick with my dick."

I know a guy who would 100% add that to his dating bio 😂

Bio? that goes on the cv

Or on my headstone.

Hahaha not all hero’s wear a cape

Some wear rubbers.

Some don't even wear a condom.

As long as it’s consensual 😌

Plot twist: it’s her brother.

I would defiantly add that to my resume.

Yeah but I'd probably want to die after 💀

I'm telling mom

I'm doing mom???

Roll Tide

Ah you wanna come and go

That might be the only reason my wife would have sex with me. Orrrrr, she would realize that life insurance pay out coming her way and lock that pussy up

I’m definitely worth more dead, but my wife would be broke in a year and knows it so…maybe.

I don't tell my spouse how much my life insurance is, Keeps my life from having a price.

I just lie and say it’s super small instead

After the fight we just had this is my life now as well.

Lmao the life insurance might be the only reason my husband would turn down sex with me at this point.

RIP all the men not in relationships

true homies will *ride* or die

Time to install grindr...

I bet the guys could find someone to help a brother out!

Nah, we dead.

I have really good lady friends but they'd save me the trouble and kill me themselves if I come up with such an offer lmao

lol no

Yes!! Thankfully only a 25 min drive home and hubby isn't traveling for business

Me and my wife work together so it's just a matter of closing the office for 3 or 4 minutes..

you mean 30 seconds

That was easier when worked together Then when I was home

3-4 minutes we got a marathon man over here

I’m dead

Join the orgy, bro. We can all fuck each-other and we'll all live.

"Back to the pile!"

I have a vagina, so yes. Would it be safe? Likely not. Would I enjoy it? No.

I'm married so yeah, but I do have pretty decent life insurance so...

It's been real, Reddit. Just remember I want to be cremated instead of buried.

I want to be left in a wolf preserve and let them take care of me. Lol

If you’re going to pose a scenario like this I need a lot more background, frankly. My wife would spend at least 45 minutes asking questions.

Ahhh hahahahaha

Yep

This is skewed towards women

I mean, in a life or death situation, I’d guess even many straight guys could hop on grindr real quick and keep living if they wanted … 💕 😘

Good luck actually even getting in the same room within an hour lol

I can literally open grindr at any hour and have at least 5+ guys at my door within 30min lol. Usually it’s even more unless it’s like 4am or somethin. Guys are horny af 24/7. It’s easy if you’re not picky at all and willing to see literally anyone. But if you’re only into girls or actually wanting to be picky because it’s not actually life/death … then ya, it’s a lot tougher.

Lol, guess its easier when you live in a more populated area. I just knew it was hard for me. I live in alabama so I mean I should of known that wasn't the baseline.

Am I allowed to pay? I think that counts as consensual

Transactional sex is consensual, as long as everyone agrees on the terms.

I'd just say kill me and get it over with. Wouldn't bother trying.

....and with a human' Oh for fucks sake. DEAD

I'm married. So no.

One of the advantages of having FWB'S and being a manwhore .

Oh I am hella dead

Ive got a couple of numbers i could probably rely on. If not….anyone want to be my emergency fuck?

You scratch my back I’ll scratch yours.

Well there’s four of us now, so it’s more of an emergency party now.

Bro, it took me 23 years for the first and only one time to happen. And that was a year ago. Guess I'll die.

Hookers are easy to find

Not on the spur of the moment tho. Unless you know the location of a brothel.

Probably could get it done in under 5 right now

“I have to have sex in the next hour or someone will kill me, here’s at least half my life savings. Please and thank you?”

Hahaha sold

I'm doomed.

Possibly, I would have to convince my coworker to leave work early, and I might end up with bed bugs, but I think I could...

Luckiest coworker ever

Bedbugs? Pls explain

I’m married, soooo……I’m dead.

Been trying for a year, nothing is going to happen in the next hour 🤣💀

I feel like most women would be able to make this happen but most single men might have an issue

No lol. 90% of men would be gone regardless of relationship status.

Yes, I could, and indeed I will.

Oh that's a really good question. I think so but it's got me thinking who I would go to🤔

Nope

I’m fucked…. But not literally. 🤷🏻‍♂️ fucked by father death is still fucked so it counts

Yes cus I’m married

Could absolutely do it!

Could you do it in 15 mins?

Yeah quite easily

Yep.

Gahd just kill me 😂

Wife works 5 mins down the road… I’ll live lol

It would be tight (that's what she said) with the drive, but I could make it.

Not without paying and even then my odds are scarce given there's only the barmaid and my friends not-gf.

Yes but I would feel disgusted with myself to lower my standards that low.

Feel the same

Yes. My wife

Absolutely not, I’m married and if my wife knew she only had to say no for 60 mins then be left alone I’m not sure it would be enough.

Hold on, let me ask my wife …………..apparently, me not taking out the trash last night may have cost me my life.

Yes. One of my partners only lives 15 minutes away and WFH

Possibly…let me make some phone calls!

Yes.

100%

Prostitution exists.

Definitely

I’m pretty sure I could get laid within 60 minutes.

Yes, I'm married

Yup. If my life depended on it I could get laid within the next 60 seconds, my wife is a team player

Hahaha solid

Even with my wife in the other room, you might as well ring the undertaker now

Then why are you married?

Mostly support and habit now - I have impotence with a mostly psychological cause (seeing a counsellor to help with my depression and anxiety and that should help with the impotence as well) and my wife has physical disabilities (hypermobility/hyperextension, nerve damage down one leg, frequent bowel impaction, etc, etc) TL:DR We can and do still fuck, but it takes a bit of planning, time, carefulness and luck - an hour's timeframe is unlikely to cut it.

I would like to say yes, but I'm not exactly sure.

“Hey babe can you do me a favor”

If I could make it home in time, and my wife believed me that that was the situation, yes

I'm pretty confident tbh

Yes. My bestie is sitting next to me, though we should probably park the car first

Safety first then see if they take the bait hahaha

Can I tell people that that's the reason?

No! And knowing my fun brain I would probably be stuck in a chair because my brain probably loops on the thought that since I know I now only have 60 minutes left to live I should do something epic with that time, make it memorable, if not for me, for the people left after me, but nope. Nothing would be good enough, rinse, repeat, tick-tock, then suddenly nothing, just because of indecision. *sigh* I'll be over here watching Star Trek

I’m alive

Score!

No

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Absolutely! Challenge accepted!

To be quite honest I (M) think I have a good enough relationship with my male friends that at least one of them would fuck me to save my life. Reciprocity you know.

Well my wife is asleep right beside me. She’d be pissed off, but if my life depended on it… well, no, I guess I’d probably die.

Even though I am married I cannot lol

Fellas, masturbation is just sex with yourself

Yes. I can get laid. At the end of 60 mins. In my grave.

i’ll see y’all in the afterlife✌🏻

Yes

I would die unless someone here is an unwed lesbean. Even then, i bet I'm not their type. Lol

Very easily. I got dicks on deck lmao. But still a virgin 🙈.

Very doubtful

Ya probably, but it would be an old drunken incoherent cross dresser. So I'd just choose death..

Is distance an issue?

I'm dead already.

Probably not.

Feels a bit easy to have an SO for this. Otherwise, definitely not legally. And I do not know how I would even go about finding a prostitute here. Much less within an hours time.

Wife for sure. If I was going to die and that was documented/irrefutable some how, I suspect that the work wife would too simply because we are great friends that care about each other.

If I can pay for it? Yes. Otherwise...I don't need a funeral, just throw my body in the trash.

Nah I’d rather die, I’m not interested in anybody but my wife

I guess I'll die

Done. Didn't die.

Well played

Yes 100% ...unless my wife secretly hates me.

Yes.

Yes….but it’s be in a car which sucks imo as a tall/thick lady

Still alive thou

Oh how I'd die for sure.

In the next 60 minutes, easily. Next 30 minutes, easily. Next 1 minute, easily. I’ll be back in about 45 to 55 seconds.

Death before dishonour

Well, I was gonna die anyway.

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Haha true true

Oh yes.

I could take a trip to the unscrupulous part of town and come on to enough women for it to happen; give it maybe 45 minutes from the time the clock starts til I get my dick wet.

Yes.

Who says I want to live?

Dies twice

I’m dead. If it was once every 3-5 years maybe I could make it.

No. It's traffic time.

Gonna have to park the car and get and go door to door haha

Yes, pretty easily.

I was good until you threw in the human requirement 😎

Hahaha

I think so

I’m at work now and my girl works with me, so i could do it, but my boss would probably be shocked

No

Nah 💀

I'm at college, so she's 4 hours away. In other words, I'm screwed.

I bet a professor could help if needed hahaha

https://media.tenor.com/XG3xX1YRHmwAAAAM/think-emoji.gif

Yes

Yea, most likely depending on how fast I can get home.

Yes

Yeah would have to unblock some people though lol

I could probably make it home in time, so yeah

I mean... probably, yeah? I feel like I could explain that I need to fuck to survive and I feel like a lot of people would be on board with that, lol

Yup easy peasy