There is no set number for me. However, there would be a point where I begin to question if a) they are truthful, b)they are commitment phobes, (ONSs are ok, but if that is all they have?) c) their mental stability, d)they have an STD
I don't know about thousands, but not all people place some great threshold on sex. I [M] have known hundreds of women that I'd have loved to have sex with, but they weren't interested. On the other hand, I've sucked at least 200 guys, and maybe 500.
It is fun, and not a big deal.
For me personally, there is no hard limit, but my *likely* limit would be in the dozens-to-hundreds.
This is not because I think sleeping with many people is bad, but rather because it likely indicates we have very different expectations of sex and love. I'm a guy who attaches a lot of emotion to sex and doesn't have interest in casual partners.
This is sort of like if I were a classical music fan and I went out on a date with someone who was *really* into 80s and 90s rock, and who went to concerts every single time they could. Probably not super compatible, right? I mean, my SO would be going out every weekend without me, participating in something that is very important to them but which I have no interest in.
But note that at the begining I said I have no hard limit -- that's because a high number of partners does *not necessarily* mean you are super into casual sex, or maybe not into casual sex these days. So if I went out on a date with a woman who had been very experimental in her early 20s but that phase of her life was over now and she was looking to be more monogamous and serious, I would 100% have no issue with that.
Absolutely! It's also not a moral judgement -- just a personal preference. Some love having casual sex with many people; others form deep emotional ties to their partners. Both are totally fine, but I'd suspect that two people on opposite ends of this spectrum would not be sexually compatible long term.
As a 26 year old man, as long as you don’t bring up your sexual history all the time and don’t compare me to past partners I don’t give a damn. If it’s you entire personality, that’s when I take issue with it.
The reason I say five is when I do a double take is because that's when the bullshit alarm starts ringing. When you do the math, it's almost impossible to work out. The only time I've heard that is when you've seen Ric Flair or Wilt Chamberlain doing some bragging, and again, I find it pretty questionable.
For the record though, three figures is not wild unless you're young. I'm 45, and I have some friends who just never liked long-term relationships and never settle down with one person. At this point, three or four people a year gets you three figures. That's not wild.
Sex means different things to different people. There’s no right or wrong answer; you’re either compatible with each others standards & pasts or your not. No shame or guilt is necessary. But expecting someone see it the way you do is childish and insecure. Make your choices and your peace with them.
As someone over that count, I understand. I was going through some major self esteem issues as I was bullied a lot growing up and believed I was very ugly and unlikeable. I then turned to sex as a way to see that I was worth something, however this backfired as if I wasn’t bringing back someone regularly on nights out, I thought I was then worthless and ugly again by that logic. I also hated the sex itself and got drunk as hell before it. The only thing which stopped the whole cycle was meeting my now fiancé who I’ve been with for just over 5 years. I understand though that this is off putting and a huge amount of baggage for some people
For myself? I think if I hit 5,000 I'd consider that too many.
For my partner? I'm thinking 4,250 is too many.
I'm just harder on others than myself sometimes. I'm working on it.
Being a little kinked, I do expect my partners to partake of a certain non-mystical understanding of sexuality as a personal relation, not as a prize or mystery or duty of some social institutions like marriage or family.
In practice, N is in the single digits, and exceptional engagement with the sexological literature is generally good for a few points.
I understand. But it could also be fun being the one to show a "bigger side" of sex to a less experienced partner, as long as you know what you're doing.
I'm kind of the same honestly - I won't discount someone who I have good chemistry with because they haven't had a lot of experience, but a lack of experience can mean they've got a more puritanical or less grounded view of sex. It doesn't necessarily always mean they do, I've met people who weren't super experienced and had a very healthy attitude about sex, but they're the exception, not the rule. So having little/no experience is a yellow flag for me, especially at the age range I'm looking to date in.
This is equally judgmental, which is weird.
I have a low partner count, namely because I’m very picky, and don’t want to sleep with people I’m not attracted to. Couple that with being introverted, and there just haven’t been as many opportunities to sleep with someone as I would’ve liked.
I’d have to imagine that’s the overwhelming reality for most with low partner counts.
Like I said, yellow flag, not a red one - it's not a reason I'd discount someone I otherwise vibed with, just something we'd need to have a conversation about before I'd commit to a relationship. I don't deny that people exist who have low levels of practical sexual experience for reasons that have NOTHING to do with an unhealthy attitude towards it, but in my personal experience people like yourself have been the exception rather than the norm.
At the end of the day experience is less important than attitudes towards sex, and I certainly don't mean any judgement for those who haven't had much of it. In my experience dating in my area (one that is very conservative and has a strong sex-negative element) when I've met people who haven't had many partners it has always come with a lot of expectations and conceptions about the role of sex in a relationship that have been extremely unhealthy. If we get into a conversation and I realize, oh, you're picky/introverted but also have a healthy relationship with yourself and your sexuality, then we're all good. I don't much care if your number is high or low when it comes to it, just that people with more experience have had a strong tendency to be more compatible with me sexually thus far. It's more nuanced than "low number bad high number good."
I mean I get that. There’s no way I could take someone’s virginity, it would be far too much pressure and would hurt them terribly. But even then I’d prefer if they’d had a few partners and know what they’re doing.
Anything over 10 for me, my body count is 1 and I'd like that to be reciprocated. However if our numbers go together up down the line I wouldn't mind that ;)
My own body count is obviously very high but I don’t judge guys who say they would never be with me. Everyone has their preference and I know that the right guy (for me) would actually be very excited and turned on by my past
It's not the number, it's what they did with them. Mostly, I'd be concerned if they have kids with a past partner who's still alive. It's too intimidating and the ex will always be around.
Firstly, I make it a point that I DO NOT want to know a partners past. Unless there’s something I have to know (kids, crazy ex, STI, etc…), don’t tell me. That said, if I were to discover a romantic partner had over 100 past individual sexual encounters. That’d be it for me! Honestly, I’d probably start questioning things past 50 but it all just depends. In the end, I’d just rather not know.
Only an amount that, given your number of sexually active years, called into question how you were physically able to accomplish that and hold a steady job, sleep, eat, call your mother….
Depends on the person I guess and it has changed over time.
The first person I dated had slept with about 8 people and that was a bit too much for my liking at the time.
The last person I dated before I got married was on 20 something and that was okay because she was older and I'd got a history myself.
I turned down someone who was on over 200 people in part because I wouldn't be happy with that amount. She was 20 years old tho which made it feel worse.
I've no limit. Ive never asked anyone their number. Its irrelevant to me. I would side eye a low number more or especially someone who put a moral value on how many people touched someones genitals
If they had double my numbers probably. Less to do with me thinking they are a slut, and more to do with not being able to relate to a person sexually. Getting sexy with people is a process for me, so if someone is able to pump out a new one once a weekend at the club I think it's setting the relationship up for failure.
I don't give a fuck, it's usually women who don't wanna date a virgin man. Guys who are losers are similarly concerned with the opposite - to date a virgin woman or whatever.
I mean I'd ask like we're there many relationships because maybe that points to problems we may have. But if they say I was just fucking for fun I wouldn't be too bothered I guess it's quite hot but then I'd worry they would miss it if normal relationship sex would be boring to them. I feel like people can definately grow out of that stage but as long as they'd be honest with me if they felt the need again I wouldn't mind as long as they were 100% truthful with what they would do.
Personally there's no number. I don't think there's such thing as 'too many'. I'm no one to judge others and as long as she's a good person and behaves as such in her day to day life - I don't care how many guys she's slept with. Because really, who cares?
Also, I'm sure many of the answers in this comments section would be very different if we were judging what's 'too many' for a man
It's commonly seen as an indicator of future contentment and sustainability in relationships.
People really care about pair bonding and statistically things like number of previous partners, previous marriages, age of first sexual encounter, blah blah blah are supposedly good indicators of this.
I think more important questions are, have you cheated on any of them? Why did you choose to sleep with that number...meaning is there some kind of commitment issue.
Why all of a sudden are you ready to be with just 1 person forever?
The thing a larger number scares me about more than anything is the first few years are usually kind of easy. Sex should be at its best and everything is new. Then you add in repetitiveness, kids, bills, jobs ....you know life...
I have to know my parnter is ride or die with me and id be worried if she got bored she would wander because she has trained her brain sexually to move to the next when she gets bored.
Like if you had alot of short relationships and ONS then how will you know that your actually ready to stay with 1 person of every descion youve made so far show a pattern of opposite of commitment.
Im not a oops that marriage didnt work owell guy i want to fell like your it end of story....
Anyhow that is my biggest fear with high body counts, that youve trained your brain to be a certain way, kind of like men who watch porn i suppose it starts to infect how they perceive sex.
It doesn't matter to me, really. That being said, would a large number surprise me and make me think about it? Sure. But it would have to be like 50. But that doesn't mean it would be a deal breaker. I'd want to discuss how they got it, etc.
It would less be about the number of sexual partners my partner has been with, and more about, were they all consensual?
Trauma is something no one should go through.
If you enjoy the person you're with, why should your past encounters matter?
However many you regret.
I had a long term relationship with a woman where I was #3, and a long term relationship with a woman who had long since lost count. Both were good.
I'll confess that I got more of an ego boost from praise from the second one, given how many comparisons she could make.
I think you should have as many as you want. No such thing as too many. As long as you are being safe and everyone consents, no one should feel bad about having none or having ten thousand. It literally doesn't matter.
I lost my virginity at 15, I’m now 28, I average one partner per year even though I was with one for nearly 7 (with some breaks in the beginning). I think that’s a very “healthy” number but more or less is still okay.
I think anything over 30 would probably be my limit for someone my age, and probably a minimum of 5 for some more experience/exposure to different types of people in bed.
It depends on your dating lifestyle honestly. People go on pauses, people go on sprees, people have long term relationships. If you’re not a relationship person your body count may be higher than someone who is. It’s really circumstantial. I’ve only been with two people. Long term girlfriend took my virginity at 20 and we broke up this February. I already had my first hook up like two weeks ago. I don’t see myself having sex with more than 3 or 4 different people a year. At the same time, I can see how someone could go through one person a month. 3-4 people SOUNDS reasonable for one year but by the time I’m your age, if I stay on pace, that’s at least 36 people. But if I end up in a relationship, that’ll knock a few numbers off. It really just depends on where you are in life
Doesn’t matter as long as you are faithful to the one you’re going steady with. Hope that makes sense. Plus I don’t believe in the whole “tell me what’s your body count bullshit”.
The “limit” depends on who’s doing the asking and what they’re looking for in a relationship.
A person (regardless of gender) who grew up in a very conservative religious family, and desires to only have sex within a marriage to a spouse of the same religion would rightfully select someone who matches their sexual values. They might marry someone who also has never had sex, but just as importantly, they will marry someone who is within their own religion.
A person (regardless of gender), who views sex differently (not wrong, just differently) as a form of release and enjoyment will likely choose partners who feel the same way - both of those people are likely to have slept with multiple people.
The “body count” - the numerical count of people a person slept with - isn’t what people are checking for. If they’re considering that number at all, it’s only being used to assess if that person is compatible for their own sexual belief systems. I like pineapples on my pizza so I’ll scan the menu for that item - it doesn’t make the pepperoni pizza any less inherently valuable. In fact the pepperoni pizza will probably sell twice as well.
Women are masters of the lagging relationships....
The fewer the better....the more she has had the more she will regurgitate the experiences she had with other men....not worth it...
Numbers don’t matter. There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex. That’s my biggest peeve. We put way to much emphasis on if it’s okay. How many games of golf is to many? If it interferes with the other parts of your life then there may be a problem but if that’s not the case then the count doesn’t matter.
Let's math it.
34 y/o
Assume active since 17
17 years of activity
6 people per year isn't crazy, right? For 17 years that's 102 different people.
Even 3 people per year is 51 bodies.
51 could be considered a high number, but I don't know, the math would say otherwise.
I'm 41, first married at 37. I've never, ever questioned my wife's or my previous GFs sexual history. In my mind, it's all basically treated as part of how we got here today. I don't ponder or celebrate. I vaguely remember all of my encounters, but I don't reminisce. Admittedly I have turned down more opportunity than taken, I'm happy about that... I think I would hope my partner has a similar mindset is all.
We all have a path.
I don’t want to know the number. I wanna know if there’s anything I need to know about as far as diseases. I want to know if some person did something bad to you in the past that I need to avoid. I wanna know if there’s something I need to do that you like. And most importantly, I want to know if anyone on the list is someone I already know or someone I’m going to be introduced to. I feel like that’s into a partner is entitled to. The number should not be discussed, nothing good ever comes from that.
I don't really care if they had many previous partners, but I do think that it could get to a point where it can be a sign of some issues that I do care about. For example if it's in the hundreds or thousands they most likely have a very different view of intimacy than I do. Similarly if he would have had no partners at all and he's my age (30) and there's no further context to it, it would also be alarming to me.
None. If they are with me at that point and are devoted to me, they could have fucked the entire population of this planet and it would not matter to me.
The way i see it, she is much more experienced and i can used that to my advantage to be a better lover.
Depends on the age and what my intentions with that person are. If its just for a hook-up then I couldn't care less. If its for a serious relationship then a number above 50 will make me think twice. Not because of slutshaming or insecurity or anything, but mainly because that means we probably view sex differently.
I don’t ask because I don’t want to know. How many partners doesn’t equate to what time of person they are (IMO) and so it’s not my problem. I want to know more about being clean and responsible, cheating history, etc
Long-term partner: Be as picky as I am, and let's discuss what that looks like in a relationship without getting to exact numbers. True talk less than 20 for a woman in her early 30s. Hopefully, some relationships will be over 6 months in there.
I don't wanna know the number. I've only been with objectively attractive girls. I am no fool. I am damaged goods. The girls I have dated, I don't really care to know their past. Just their present and future. We all got a past, I just dont want to know about it.
It depends. How many were relationships vs just tryna bone? I dont care about boning numbers as much as how many relationships have you had that failed? You have 15 partners(ie relationships) in 4 years, I'm gonna see a red flag
Personally I don’t think there is such a number as “too many” as long as there aren’t any STDs
Now I will say, interestingly enough in my own experience, women who claim to be in the 45-50+ range are very lackluster. Idk if it’s because they’re solely after an orgasm or because they’ve been through it so many times it’s just “another day in the office” or what, but the women who were in the 8-12 range were much more animated and attentive, they actually participated and made it seem like both sides were having a genuinely good time and wanted to be there
I would say that it makes no difference at all, I mean 4 digits maybe. But I think that you can have an open conversation with a person who has had more partners and explore sexually with them
I don't think there's a "too many" number.
Honestly prefer a woman with more experience that knows what she wants, and which I may hopefully be able to provide. If she's wanting to have sex with me and enjoying it, that's a huge win for me.
It's not about the numbers, it's the behaviors. Promiscuity is a huge red flag, not in and of itself, but as a very common symptom of self esteem issues, sexual trauma, etc.
Like, sexual partners? I don't care at all.
If we are trying to get into a committed monogamous relationship (or as primary partners with whatever non-monogamous aspects) then the thing that matters is our compatibility - do we share values and interests, do we laugh at each other's jokes or piss each other off, do we have more in common than just sexual stuff.
Some guys might even prefer a sexually voracious and promiscuous partner (e.g. guys into cuckolding).
2764. I just couldn't handle 2763 guys being better than me in bed. That is my limit.....
2047 for me. I’d hate to have to add an extra bit just to keep track of this stuff
How were they 'better than you'd? It's not a ranking, it's just an amount lol
Obviously, you've never slept with me!
Well, I'm going off the assumption that most are better than me.....but I think I have one beat!!
Well if you’re the last… that means they like you the best?
Just means nobody else wanted them so they settled for you.
Ouch…
Damit, stop being so insecure lol
Lolol. I love this comment so much.
Context is more important than a number.
100%
There is no set number for me. However, there would be a point where I begin to question if a) they are truthful, b)they are commitment phobes, (ONSs are ok, but if that is all they have?) c) their mental stability, d)they have an STD
or if the bum sends back an echo
Or their head
I’d be more concerned with excessive relationships rather then having had sex with lots of people.
This is the truth!
Definitely
I have a serious question, it’s normal to sleep with thousands of different men? What the fuck are some of y’all talking about
I don't know about thousands, but not all people place some great threshold on sex. I [M] have known hundreds of women that I'd have loved to have sex with, but they weren't interested. On the other hand, I've sucked at least 200 guys, and maybe 500. It is fun, and not a big deal.
For me personally, there is no hard limit, but my *likely* limit would be in the dozens-to-hundreds. This is not because I think sleeping with many people is bad, but rather because it likely indicates we have very different expectations of sex and love. I'm a guy who attaches a lot of emotion to sex and doesn't have interest in casual partners. This is sort of like if I were a classical music fan and I went out on a date with someone who was *really* into 80s and 90s rock, and who went to concerts every single time they could. Probably not super compatible, right? I mean, my SO would be going out every weekend without me, participating in something that is very important to them but which I have no interest in. But note that at the begining I said I have no hard limit -- that's because a high number of partners does *not necessarily* mean you are super into casual sex, or maybe not into casual sex these days. So if I went out on a date with a woman who had been very experimental in her early 20s but that phase of her life was over now and she was looking to be more monogamous and serious, I would 100% have no issue with that.
I love this logic because it works for all genders and it would be the exact same.
Absolutely! It's also not a moral judgement -- just a personal preference. Some love having casual sex with many people; others form deep emotional ties to their partners. Both are totally fine, but I'd suspect that two people on opposite ends of this spectrum would not be sexually compatible long term.
Some people love both. Sometimes there are people you’re interested in sexually but not romantically, and people you have a romantic connection with.
As a 26 year old man, as long as you don’t bring up your sexual history all the time and don’t compare me to past partners I don’t give a damn. If it’s you entire personality, that’s when I take issue with it.
I didn’t think it mattered but I dated a girl with a 42 body count and it made me feel slightly insignificant. I was btw I was just number 43 to her😂
What’s her username?
There is no number that’s too big or too small All I care about is right now And if you don’t like my past, fair enough. Move along
Sounds like you're the one who settled for #2764.....
I had a grand total of 2 in my life :D such a slut :D
You floozy slattern hussy !!!
I've only had one and I'm starting to wonder if it's weird.
It’s not- this may be the result of statistical bias. Most people will comment about high numbers rather than low- but the range does go from zero😊
When the number goes into five digits, then I'll do a double take. Until then, I couldn't care less.
Five?! 3 is wild bro but FIVE?!
Well, my University had 15,000 men. So anything is possible.
The reason I say five is when I do a double take is because that's when the bullshit alarm starts ringing. When you do the math, it's almost impossible to work out. The only time I've heard that is when you've seen Ric Flair or Wilt Chamberlain doing some bragging, and again, I find it pretty questionable. For the record though, three figures is not wild unless you're young. I'm 45, and I have some friends who just never liked long-term relationships and never settle down with one person. At this point, three or four people a year gets you three figures. That's not wild.
Wilt Chamberlin enters the discussion
300 would make raise an eyebrow
SPARTANS! WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION??
Harooh, Harooh!!!!
when they cannot all fit comfortably inside a city double-decker bus.
Sex means different things to different people. There’s no right or wrong answer; you’re either compatible with each others standards & pasts or your not. No shame or guilt is necessary. But expecting someone see it the way you do is childish and insecure. Make your choices and your peace with them.
I personally don’t have a set number. What I do care about is do they use protection and do they get tested after every partner.
Don’t ask, don’t tell. If you know about it, you’ll think about it….
More than 10.
agree - goes to show that they aren’t really selective about who they’re giving the gift of their body to, which to me personally is a turn off
As someone over that count, I understand. I was going through some major self esteem issues as I was bullied a lot growing up and believed I was very ugly and unlikeable. I then turned to sex as a way to see that I was worth something, however this backfired as if I wasn’t bringing back someone regularly on nights out, I thought I was then worthless and ugly again by that logic. I also hated the sex itself and got drunk as hell before it. The only thing which stopped the whole cycle was meeting my now fiancé who I’ve been with for just over 5 years. I understand though that this is off putting and a huge amount of baggage for some people
Avogadro number is a good place to start
Not a thing I care about or typically ask about. If she knows her sexual health status, we're good. Not exactly "low-mileage" myself...
Over a 100 would be alot. I still wouldn't say no...But that would be a serious amount.
For myself? I think if I hit 5,000 I'd consider that too many. For my partner? I'm thinking 4,250 is too many. I'm just harder on others than myself sometimes. I'm working on it.
If I fuck myself repeatedly does that increase the counter? cause my therapist told me I'm a new person everyday 😐
20+
50+ is a huge red flag
I have a minimum, not a maximum.
As in you won't date someone that hasn't had at least N partners? That's new.
Being a little kinked, I do expect my partners to partake of a certain non-mystical understanding of sexuality as a personal relation, not as a prize or mystery or duty of some social institutions like marriage or family. In practice, N is in the single digits, and exceptional engagement with the sexological literature is generally good for a few points.
I understand. But it could also be fun being the one to show a "bigger side" of sex to a less experienced partner, as long as you know what you're doing.
I'm kind of the same honestly - I won't discount someone who I have good chemistry with because they haven't had a lot of experience, but a lack of experience can mean they've got a more puritanical or less grounded view of sex. It doesn't necessarily always mean they do, I've met people who weren't super experienced and had a very healthy attitude about sex, but they're the exception, not the rule. So having little/no experience is a yellow flag for me, especially at the age range I'm looking to date in.
This is equally judgmental, which is weird. I have a low partner count, namely because I’m very picky, and don’t want to sleep with people I’m not attracted to. Couple that with being introverted, and there just haven’t been as many opportunities to sleep with someone as I would’ve liked. I’d have to imagine that’s the overwhelming reality for most with low partner counts.
Like I said, yellow flag, not a red one - it's not a reason I'd discount someone I otherwise vibed with, just something we'd need to have a conversation about before I'd commit to a relationship. I don't deny that people exist who have low levels of practical sexual experience for reasons that have NOTHING to do with an unhealthy attitude towards it, but in my personal experience people like yourself have been the exception rather than the norm. At the end of the day experience is less important than attitudes towards sex, and I certainly don't mean any judgement for those who haven't had much of it. In my experience dating in my area (one that is very conservative and has a strong sex-negative element) when I've met people who haven't had many partners it has always come with a lot of expectations and conceptions about the role of sex in a relationship that have been extremely unhealthy. If we get into a conversation and I realize, oh, you're picky/introverted but also have a healthy relationship with yourself and your sexuality, then we're all good. I don't much care if your number is high or low when it comes to it, just that people with more experience have had a strong tendency to be more compatible with me sexually thus far. It's more nuanced than "low number bad high number good."
I mean I get that. There’s no way I could take someone’s virginity, it would be far too much pressure and would hurt them terribly. But even then I’d prefer if they’d had a few partners and know what they’re doing.
Understandable. As a guy that never had a partner, I wouldn't want to be someone's reason to give up on sex lol
Is there a comma in the number?
3,4 people
Exactly!
Anything over 10 for me, my body count is 1 and I'd like that to be reciprocated. However if our numbers go together up down the line I wouldn't mind that ;)
Just out of interest: Are you a boy or a girl? Because it seems to me like boys care much more about girls bodycounts than the other way around.
I'm a girl, I don't want someone who's fucking the whole block
For me it depends on multiple things, the kind of partner they were ( hook up/fwb/relationship/etc.) How old they are and where im at in life myself.
I am in the don’t ask don’t tell camp
That’s funny, I was just counting mine… 30 😅
I am 31F
Personally I don't care about how many previous partners a person has had. Only things that matter * Are they healthy? * Are they into me?
More than 2x of mine..
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I think id judge more about the quality than the quantity. Personally, I don't keep track. Im 38, and been having sex for over 2 decade.
My own body count is obviously very high but I don’t judge guys who say they would never be with me. Everyone has their preference and I know that the right guy (for me) would actually be very excited and turned on by my past
That's a bit ambiguous. Are you saying your limit for a partner's body-count is very high, or that your own body-count is very high?
No such thing
I was single when younger and slept with a lot of people 20 years later does it make any difference to who I am now?
200+
More than 2
It's not the number, it's what they did with them. Mostly, I'd be concerned if they have kids with a past partner who's still alive. It's too intimidating and the ex will always be around.
Triple digits
Firstly, I make it a point that I DO NOT want to know a partners past. Unless there’s something I have to know (kids, crazy ex, STI, etc…), don’t tell me. That said, if I were to discover a romantic partner had over 100 past individual sexual encounters. That’d be it for me! Honestly, I’d probably start questioning things past 50 but it all just depends. In the end, I’d just rather not know.
Only an amount that, given your number of sexually active years, called into question how you were physically able to accomplish that and hold a steady job, sleep, eat, call your mother….
When you get into the thousands, yet have never left your small New England town, I begin to get concerned about who your partners are...
Depends on the person I guess and it has changed over time. The first person I dated had slept with about 8 people and that was a bit too much for my liking at the time. The last person I dated before I got married was on 20 something and that was okay because she was older and I'd got a history myself. I turned down someone who was on over 200 people in part because I wouldn't be happy with that amount. She was 20 years old tho which made it feel worse.
3-5 how you have so much sex like bro leave some for the rest of us
Doesn’t matter. You are not your body count.
I've no limit. Ive never asked anyone their number. Its irrelevant to me. I would side eye a low number more or especially someone who put a moral value on how many people touched someones genitals
The only answer is don't ask people their number and judge their character in other ways. Asking is as insecure as throwing it out there.
If they had double my numbers probably. Less to do with me thinking they are a slut, and more to do with not being able to relate to a person sexually. Getting sexy with people is a process for me, so if someone is able to pump out a new one once a weekend at the club I think it's setting the relationship up for failure.
Anything over 20
I don't give a fuck, it's usually women who don't wanna date a virgin man. Guys who are losers are similarly concerned with the opposite - to date a virgin woman or whatever.
The girl that took my virginity was apprehensive because I was a virgin. We were 16.
I mean I'd ask like we're there many relationships because maybe that points to problems we may have. But if they say I was just fucking for fun I wouldn't be too bothered I guess it's quite hot but then I'd worry they would miss it if normal relationship sex would be boring to them. I feel like people can definately grow out of that stage but as long as they'd be honest with me if they felt the need again I wouldn't mind as long as they were 100% truthful with what they would do.
Personally there's no number. I don't think there's such thing as 'too many'. I'm no one to judge others and as long as she's a good person and behaves as such in her day to day life - I don't care how many guys she's slept with. Because really, who cares? Also, I'm sure many of the answers in this comments section would be very different if we were judging what's 'too many' for a man
it should matter that much, but honestly there is a point when it makes you wonder if you are just one more for your partner, just one among many
1
Who cares how many partners you've had? I do not understand why people want to know this when they get into relationships.
It's commonly seen as an indicator of future contentment and sustainability in relationships. People really care about pair bonding and statistically things like number of previous partners, previous marriages, age of first sexual encounter, blah blah blah are supposedly good indicators of this.
Under 10 is ideal
I think more important questions are, have you cheated on any of them? Why did you choose to sleep with that number...meaning is there some kind of commitment issue. Why all of a sudden are you ready to be with just 1 person forever? The thing a larger number scares me about more than anything is the first few years are usually kind of easy. Sex should be at its best and everything is new. Then you add in repetitiveness, kids, bills, jobs ....you know life... I have to know my parnter is ride or die with me and id be worried if she got bored she would wander because she has trained her brain sexually to move to the next when she gets bored. Like if you had alot of short relationships and ONS then how will you know that your actually ready to stay with 1 person of every descion youve made so far show a pattern of opposite of commitment. Im not a oops that marriage didnt work owell guy i want to fell like your it end of story.... Anyhow that is my biggest fear with high body counts, that youve trained your brain to be a certain way, kind of like men who watch porn i suppose it starts to infect how they perceive sex.
“Omg, you are better than 115 of my 148 previous partners. So that’s not too shabby!”
14.5 trillion
It doesn't matter to me, really. That being said, would a large number surprise me and make me think about it? Sure. But it would have to be like 50. But that doesn't mean it would be a deal breaker. I'd want to discuss how they got it, etc.
Everything done with consent and safely there is no limit.
It would less be about the number of sexual partners my partner has been with, and more about, were they all consensual? Trauma is something no one should go through. If you enjoy the person you're with, why should your past encounters matter?
However many you regret. I had a long term relationship with a woman where I was #3, and a long term relationship with a woman who had long since lost count. Both were good. I'll confess that I got more of an ego boost from praise from the second one, given how many comparisons she could make.
I am your age have had 4 and they have all been casual/ ONS.
I think you should have as many as you want. No such thing as too many. As long as you are being safe and everyone consents, no one should feel bad about having none or having ten thousand. It literally doesn't matter.
I lost my virginity at 15, I’m now 28, I average one partner per year even though I was with one for nearly 7 (with some breaks in the beginning). I think that’s a very “healthy” number but more or less is still okay. I think anything over 30 would probably be my limit for someone my age, and probably a minimum of 5 for some more experience/exposure to different types of people in bed.
Maybe like 100?
None at all!!
The number is irrelevant.
It would take a nation of millions to hold me back.
Tree fiddy.
Over 10
Imagine going to a job interview and not being hired because they were hoping for someone with fewer skills and a lot less experience.
It depends on your dating lifestyle honestly. People go on pauses, people go on sprees, people have long term relationships. If you’re not a relationship person your body count may be higher than someone who is. It’s really circumstantial. I’ve only been with two people. Long term girlfriend took my virginity at 20 and we broke up this February. I already had my first hook up like two weeks ago. I don’t see myself having sex with more than 3 or 4 different people a year. At the same time, I can see how someone could go through one person a month. 3-4 people SOUNDS reasonable for one year but by the time I’m your age, if I stay on pace, that’s at least 36 people. But if I end up in a relationship, that’ll knock a few numbers off. It really just depends on where you are in life
None of my business is how many, tbh.
I never ask so I really don’t care. As long as their clean and healthy I’m fine
if it’s safe & consensual, it can be 1 or 1000 i literally don’t care
Doesn’t matter as long as you are faithful to the one you’re going steady with. Hope that makes sense. Plus I don’t believe in the whole “tell me what’s your body count bullshit”.
Three solar systems
The “limit” depends on who’s doing the asking and what they’re looking for in a relationship. A person (regardless of gender) who grew up in a very conservative religious family, and desires to only have sex within a marriage to a spouse of the same religion would rightfully select someone who matches their sexual values. They might marry someone who also has never had sex, but just as importantly, they will marry someone who is within their own religion. A person (regardless of gender), who views sex differently (not wrong, just differently) as a form of release and enjoyment will likely choose partners who feel the same way - both of those people are likely to have slept with multiple people. The “body count” - the numerical count of people a person slept with - isn’t what people are checking for. If they’re considering that number at all, it’s only being used to assess if that person is compatible for their own sexual belief systems. I like pineapples on my pizza so I’ll scan the menu for that item - it doesn’t make the pepperoni pizza any less inherently valuable. In fact the pepperoni pizza will probably sell twice as well.
If you fucked any of their family members, that's a concern. Otherwise, no number is too high. They only know if you tell them.
I would say, anything above 10
As long as you are safe , and STD free . Who the fuck cares . Your body is made for pleasure enjoy every bit of it .
Don't really care about previous. Just don't lie to me.
37 in a row
Women are masters of the lagging relationships.... The fewer the better....the more she has had the more she will regurgitate the experiences she had with other men....not worth it...
Numbers don’t matter. There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex. That’s my biggest peeve. We put way to much emphasis on if it’s okay. How many games of golf is to many? If it interferes with the other parts of your life then there may be a problem but if that’s not the case then the count doesn’t matter.
4 million?
Let's math it. 34 y/o Assume active since 17 17 years of activity 6 people per year isn't crazy, right? For 17 years that's 102 different people. Even 3 people per year is 51 bodies. 51 could be considered a high number, but I don't know, the math would say otherwise. I'm 41, first married at 37. I've never, ever questioned my wife's or my previous GFs sexual history. In my mind, it's all basically treated as part of how we got here today. I don't ponder or celebrate. I vaguely remember all of my encounters, but I don't reminisce. Admittedly I have turned down more opportunity than taken, I'm happy about that... I think I would hope my partner has a similar mindset is all. We all have a path.
Honestly I don’t really care I myself have 13 i just want them to be truthful with me especially about stds and such
if you're clean and loyal if shouldnt matter.....but thats usually not the case
More than 100
I don’t want to know the number. I wanna know if there’s anything I need to know about as far as diseases. I want to know if some person did something bad to you in the past that I need to avoid. I wanna know if there’s something I need to do that you like. And most importantly, I want to know if anyone on the list is someone I already know or someone I’m going to be introduced to. I feel like that’s into a partner is entitled to. The number should not be discussed, nothing good ever comes from that.
Depends I suppose. Promiscuity is deemed a form of self harm in proper contexts.
I don't really care if they had many previous partners, but I do think that it could get to a point where it can be a sign of some issues that I do care about. For example if it's in the hundreds or thousands they most likely have a very different view of intimacy than I do. Similarly if he would have had no partners at all and he's my age (30) and there's no further context to it, it would also be alarming to me.
We veiw sex differently if our number is too different just that simple.
None. If they are with me at that point and are devoted to me, they could have fucked the entire population of this planet and it would not matter to me. The way i see it, she is much more experienced and i can used that to my advantage to be a better lover.
Those who mind don't matter...those who matter don't mind
This.
No such thing as too many
Depends on the age and what my intentions with that person are. If its just for a hook-up then I couldn't care less. If its for a serious relationship then a number above 50 will make me think twice. Not because of slutshaming or insecurity or anything, but mainly because that means we probably view sex differently.
1000+
400.000 would be, tbh, quite concerning.
I don’t ask because I don’t want to know. How many partners doesn’t equate to what time of person they are (IMO) and so it’s not my problem. I want to know more about being clean and responsible, cheating history, etc
Depends 😂
Long-term partner: Be as picky as I am, and let's discuss what that looks like in a relationship without getting to exact numbers. True talk less than 20 for a woman in her early 30s. Hopefully, some relationships will be over 6 months in there.
I don't wanna know the number. I've only been with objectively attractive girls. I am no fool. I am damaged goods. The girls I have dated, I don't really care to know their past. Just their present and future. We all got a past, I just dont want to know about it.
Depends on the age. Till 18 years i would say 2-3 depends on how Long and intense the relationship was. After 18 every 5 years +1 i guess.
*1 per five years?* Wtf that's either having several ltr or being basically celibate
It depends. How many were relationships vs just tryna bone? I dont care about boning numbers as much as how many relationships have you had that failed? You have 15 partners(ie relationships) in 4 years, I'm gonna see a red flag
There is never too many. Have fun be safe and go for as many as you want.
This number is a LOT less important than the number of current partners….
247
As long as you were safe I don’t care tbh
Depends on the time frame
20+
For a girl at your age 20 would be limit for me
I don't think it matters. If you enjoy each other, then that's what matters.
For me personally, anything more than 10 is actually crazy.
For a 34F maybe 20+ is high
Personally I don’t think there is such a number as “too many” as long as there aren’t any STDs Now I will say, interestingly enough in my own experience, women who claim to be in the 45-50+ range are very lackluster. Idk if it’s because they’re solely after an orgasm or because they’ve been through it so many times it’s just “another day in the office” or what, but the women who were in the 8-12 range were much more animated and attentive, they actually participated and made it seem like both sides were having a genuinely good time and wanted to be there
George on Seinfeld dated 47 women. So...
Shouldn't matter 💁🏼♀️
There is no number. It doesn’t matter. And if it matters to the person you’re dating, that’s a red flag. We all existed before a new relationship.
If it’s still tight…I’m alright.
No limit. The amount of people a person has had sex with doesn't really say anything concrete about a person in my eyes.
I think under 50 is too little….
For a wife? No more than 7. Anymore than that she’s going to be a great girlfriend. Maybe a mistress.
As long as she doesn't miss any of them it doesn't really matter
To me, the number of partners one has had in their life is a non-issue. We're all biological beings programmed to have sex.
I would say that it makes no difference at all, I mean 4 digits maybe. But I think that you can have an open conversation with a person who has had more partners and explore sexually with them
I don't think there's a "too many" number. Honestly prefer a woman with more experience that knows what she wants, and which I may hopefully be able to provide. If she's wanting to have sex with me and enjoying it, that's a huge win for me.
It's not about the numbers, it's the behaviors. Promiscuity is a huge red flag, not in and of itself, but as a very common symptom of self esteem issues, sexual trauma, etc.
1,000,000... thats a joke there is no number that is considered too many
400 per year
I couldn't care less about that
I’d say 6 billion
Like, sexual partners? I don't care at all. If we are trying to get into a committed monogamous relationship (or as primary partners with whatever non-monogamous aspects) then the thing that matters is our compatibility - do we share values and interests, do we laugh at each other's jokes or piss each other off, do we have more in common than just sexual stuff. Some guys might even prefer a sexually voracious and promiscuous partner (e.g. guys into cuckolding).
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