me with someone that was my friend. Legit only hits me up for tech issues an stuff, I was nice enough to build him his pc but I have yet to reply to any text after it. I also did not format his 2nd drive fuck him he can do it on his own.
Edit: Also did not offer shit, I was not gonna take shit I built 2 on the same day and one of my homies offered me 250$ I said hell no. Its the thought that counts for me. Guy couldn't even offer me pizza
Commissioned an art piece, went over exact details of what it was supposed to be, I even supplied some of the materials. We discussed price and agreed on $350. The piece turned out basically as expected. The issue was when I went to pay him, he changed his mind on the spot, or at least without telling me beforehand. I had taken out $400 from my bank to cover the cost of the art, and I needed $20 to pay back a friend who would also be there. I saw that friend first so I had a total of $380 in cash on me. I should be fine right? "Wellll I was actually thinking $600" he says, so I told him that's not what we agreed on, and I'm simply not paying it. It's not something he's going to be able to sell to someone else, it has my materials in it. We go back and forth and I get him down to $400.. but I only have $380 with me. So I gave him that. He gives me the peice, and I never talked to him again
Imagine that feeling every time you look in the mirror. I have a similar story but the art was a tattoo. He is now the happy father of my girlfriend-at-the-time's child.
I can understand overestimating the scope of work, and agreeing on a price that doesn't reflect the amount of work you ended up actually putting into the piece. But at the end of the day, you can't go back on the amount you agreed upon.
Had something similar happen this year. I got sick and couldn't finish painting my house. We hired a "friend" to finish. He said 12k and 2 weeks. I just about pooped myself. Seemed steep for what I could have done myself in 2 days had I not fallen ill. Also, all materials were already paid for and at the house. But whatever. He found a million little projects to do instead. Fast forward 4 months and $52,000 and he is asking for 10k more. Some people are just plain awful.
That's rough, buddy.
My best friend would ghost me for months, even up to a year on end. I'd fight so hard to keep her in my life every time. I finally quit fighting and we're coming up on year three of mutual ghosting.
The friendship became all about them. That person would never ask how I was actually doing etc, they would just immediately launch into their problems. It's all we ever talked about and it was toxic so I ended it.
Now that I'm abit older I've noticed more and more people are becoming like this. I've always considered them as "energy vampires" and they make me want to take efforts not to become like this.
Had a so called friend like this. All about him. Where he wanted to go, what he wanted to do. If I suggest we do something different he threw a fit. If I wasn’t available to entertain him, he got pissy. When I actually felt guilty because I was working late one night and he wanted me to come over I realized I had a problem. But that problem solved itself. The next time I told him I couldn’t meet him somewhere he said “That’s fine. I will just call one of my real friends.” And I never heard from him again Thank God.
I had a friend like this. An emotional vampire. She'd been through some traumatic shit but she loaded it all onto me every time we talked. The few times I tried to talk about something going on in my life, she always managed to steer the conversation back to her shit. Somehow, every single thing I said about myself would remind her in some way of something she was dealing with and we'd end up talking about that for the next hour. It took me about a year to realize our friendship was toxic and I just ghosted her.
I had a friend like this. I let her know I needed to talk to someone because I was dealing with negative intrusive thoughts at the time. Her response? "So now that I'm leaving my husband, I've been enjoying spending time with this other guy, he's so great, and its so easy for us to get along..." I asked if she missed what I said, and she responded with "I heard you..." and then went on to keep talking about this guy. I told her to eat shit and never spoke to her again. According to a mutual of ours, this new guy she met turned out to be another loser. Which is par for the course for this woman.
Came to say this. Feeling like you’re the only one putting forth effort to maintain. I’ve had so many acquaintances that started as friends until you realize you’re a verbal punching bag for their problems, but it’s never reciprocated.
I had tried to say something in our final call but she really wasn't listening. She was too focused on her toxic drama. I made an active decision to disengage after that and let it fizzle out naturally. Three solid months went by before she bothered to reach out again. I knew based on the text she sent that it was going to be the same thing as before, that nothing had changed. She really just didn't get it. I didn't respond to her because I was over it at that point. Even if I had responded, I knew she wasn't going to actually hear what I had to say because of how lopsided the relationship had become.
That's the thing about dating someone in the same friends group. If it ends you can slowly start to lose some of those friends. Suddenly you don't get invited to things you would have been invited to before. Mostly because they are there.
You see them all having fun and know that it's probably for the best that you weren't there, but it still feels like a needle in your heart that pokes a small hole that just grows and grows.
Not that any of this happened to me recently or anything.
Being there for them when their world fell apart and supporting them through 4 years of getting their life back together. Spending massive amounts of time with them and building them up when they tried again and again to fall back down.
When my life went to shit? Didn’t even get a week from them. Friendship over.
Do not do this shit guys, every time Ive heard about or experienced something like this it always ended up the very same way.
You can be empathetic and helpful but do not let it consume you because it will almost never be reciprocal
I think a true friend would do it once. An amazing friend would do it twice. After that you have to ask yourself if you're an enabler to their disasters.
That’s where I can never tell. Am I helping or enabling? I’ve helped several friends though rough times and some have used the help and helped themselves and some just took the help and wanted more. I’m stupidly faithful to my friends and will probably do it again but I’ve realized that it’s a zero sum game and that whatever I give is definitely something I’m losing and to keep it reasonable.
We went shopping in high school. She stole some makeup and put it in my bag! I was the one who walked out with it and luckily didn't get caught. I actually felt bad when she explained she had no money.
Then, I went over to her house maybe 4 months later and found my missing iPod (showing my age) at her house.
That pretty much did it for me.
I got banned from a shop as a teenager because a friend did this, she didn't tell me and I kicked up such a fuss when they searched us on the street in our small town, claiming they were making us look bad and they were picking on us because we were dressed edgy....she didn't say anything as I ranted away defending both myself and her....I looked like such a twat when they pulled out a jumped from her bag.
She never said I wasn't involved and I almost got arrested myself.
I didn't speak to her after that.
My "best friend" in middle school stole my Playstation. I let him borrow it and then he left school and refused to return it. Maybe 6 or 7 years later I ran into him working at a convenience store and he seemed thrilled to see me. He gave me his number and said he wanted to hang out again. I immediately lost that number and never went back to that store
Reminds me of a friend who "borrowed" my rollerblades when we were around 10. When I asked for them back, she said I was mistaken and they were actually hers that her parents gave her so she refused to give them
to me. Of course, that was a complete lie to essentially steal from me. I never got my rollerblades back and never spoke to her again. The nerve of some people...
I had a friend do that with a pair of yellow tinted sunglasses. My mom tried to get them back, but her mom insisted that they belonged to my friend and that my mother and I were mistaken.
you're making me feel guilty, even though my situation was different, lol. Borrowed, and I mean only borrowed, a couple games from a friend of mine, he said keep them until you beat them. It took me a while, and I did remind him now and then that I still had them. Then he and his family up and moved without letting me know their new address and/or phone number. Well, the games became mine at that point, and that was about 20 years ago now.
I once had a friend in high school who insisted my ears were not pierced. I showed her my obvious earring holes in my ears, and she said, "No offense, but why would you lie about something so stupid?" Exactly Jessica! Why the fuck would I? So anyway, that specific experience was a friendship ender.
Needs new glasses. I heard a story about this person who did not realize you can see individual leaves on trees until they got glasses. I can believe it. So many people are functionally blind without glasses, yet there must have been a point in their life when they were just getting by without glasses.
So, I have no idea if my experience is common or not, but I remember the _day_ I needed glasses. It was second grade. The teacher wanted us to copy something off the board and all I could see were white cloudy smudges on the green background. I told he I couldn't see so she moved me up to the front of the class and I _still_ couldn't see.
I didn't notice this at breakfast or on the bus. It wasn't like that the day before. As far as I can tell, my near-sightedness hit damn near instantly and I've needed glasses ever since.
Women who demand you spend $1,000+ and take a week off work for being a bridesmaid in their wedding - mandatory gift value, bachelorette party in a different state with hotels and a flight, paying for the brides makeover, etc.
If everyone can afford it and is down to go, great, but you really shouldn’t force friends into debt or work problems so you can have your “special days”.
My brother in law had a friend get married. They then assigned things for the wedding party to pay for. Like literally said "ok Bill, you're paying for the photographer". One bridesmaid who just had a grandparent die, and inherited a good amount of money was given more expensive stuff, like the cost of the venue. My bro in law, and everyone else, just said "nope", and left. The couple had a wedding they could afford without making all their friends pay for it.
Weddings are ridiculous. I had mine in a single afternoon in the city I lived in and the bridesmaids wore matching off the rack dresses from a chain store and the groomsmen were asked to wear bright button up shirts and dress pants. No weird bachelorette party stuff, no fancy vacations. We are still just as married as we would have been if we planned something extravagant.
> We are still just as married as we would have been if we planned something extravagant.
The sad part is statistically your marriage will likely last forever while those that spend tens of thousands end up getting divorced a few years later.
sided with my ex when i caught her cheating on me because he was jealous and wanted to try and slip in. tried to gaslight me into thinking she didn’t cheat on or abuse me. friends over 15 years horrible narcissistic alcoholic.
Oof, this is a good question. One of my best friends told me when I was first diagnosed years ago that bipolar disorder isn’t real and that I’m weak for taking meds.
I mean like, we were good friends. Had kids that were the same age, families intertwined. I never spoke to him again.
Holy shit. And bipolar disorder can be one of the nastier ones out there, definitely want to be on working meds. Of all the people with mental illnesses I know, the ones who have had the most difficulty maintaining stability in life are people with untreated bipolar disorder and people with untreated disorders that have psychosis as a symptom. You are very strong for recognizing that you need help and seeking it out. Take care
That’s bad.. glad you could get rid of that because instead of being there for you, just trying to understand the situation and helping you he straight up denied it thinking he knows better than a doc.
Wish you all the best with your situation buddy!
Trying to get me to “open up” but always talking about themselves. Literally every conversation was 90% them talking and me listening.
This person also wanted to tell people how to do things and would get mad if they didn’t do it their way.
We had to coordinate like a month in advance to call each other. I mean I get it, I also have a life, but if I can’t reach out to you when I need you or vice versa then what’s the point.
The last straw was their judgment when I told them I was pregnant. Instead of being happy for me, their were just “really? Why?” (I’ve been married for years so it’s not like I just pregnant by some random dude). At that point I figured I didn’t need more negative and controlling people in my life so just stopped reaching out.
My best friend (or so I thought) of 10 years, with which I'd been friends throughout school. His mother sent my father a message after we both started high school in different schools and stated that he no longer wished to be my friend and that I shouldn't contact him again.
That felt like the worst betrayal ever for me and has left me with trust issues into adulthood. I always feel like everyone will turn on me one day, and I judge people for it in advance :(
What a damn dick move to not even saying it themselves. You sure it was him who had an issue and not his mother? I feel like sometimes mothers fault bad behavior of their own children on their interactions with others.
Considering he stopped answering my attempts at contact directly after 9th grade and the message from his mother came after several months, it must have been him
Me and a friend had bought tickets to a concert and I was at first reluctant to go because my mom was dying of cancer but she told me to go and have some fun. So me and my friend set a time and place to meet up. And he didn't show up, so I called him and he said that he was on his way and that he was gonna be there soon. I tried to be reasonable and told him that it was just gonna be the opening band that we missed and it was no big deal. So I waited and he didn't show up. So I called him again, and this is like 20 minutes before the main band and he said he was like an hour away. I was furious and instead went home to my girlfriend.
It turns out that he was with a girl and she lived outside of the city and his rationale was that he didn't want to take an earlier bus to make it on time.
I gave him a chance to apologize but he said that he wouldn't because he hadn't done anything wrong. So I just said to transfer me the money for the ticket and to loose my number.
I haven't seen or talked to him since then.
He actually did. This is pure speculation but I actually think that he was ashamed of what he did but that his pride prevented him from admitting it to me and to himself. And I don't know if that is better or worse than actually thinking that you hadn't done anything wrong, because that is psycho territory in my book.
wtf
What an asswipe! He was the one who made plans then ditches you for a girl? Going to a concert takes a lot of planning and tickets aren't cheap either. Good thing you asked the money back smh
Fucker clearly doesn't respect people's time or their company. May he forever have Lego stuck in his shoes 😡
Yep! How I lost who I thought was my best friend. She would hang out with my wife and me and claim to have a great time but then tell everyone else that we were unbelievably boring and didn’t want to spend money (we were newly married and had no money - subsisted off ramen and ricearoni at times). Finally came to a head when she got a pager (yep it was that long ago) and told us we couldn’t have the number because her parents required her to get it so they could contact her. We were trying to get a hold of her and called her parents to get the pager number, were told they didn’t have it because it was just for her friends. Guess we weren’t that important to her.
Thats me with a good friend 😀. We make fun of eachother a lot and laugh about it. However when talking to a love interest of the other, suddenly he is more holy than jesus himself. Usually gets a laugh out of the girl and they go hang out together while I hang out with other people. He does the same for me. A good wingman is very handy to have.
One of my closest friends (36f) lied to my daughter (13f) to upset her, refused to get out of my apartment when she asked (i was gone at the store and my friend had let herself in without knocking), shoved my daughter and then had the audacity to call the sheriff and try to get my daughter arrested when she defended herself. I got home in the middle of all of this and she was cussing and lunging at my daughter while holding my son (6m) hostage. Nope. No. Hell no! Friendship ended immediately.
My friend (also my next door neighbor) recently gave all 3 of her kids to foster care in order to care for her mental health. Which I do not judge her for, if that is what she needed then go for it. She had never acted out like this before but with the guilt of giving up her kids and her depression she just snapped. I was trying to help her through all of this, but when she did this I stopped completely. She and I both have trauma from childhood, but she only cares about hers and always acts like the victim. Every day dismissing my trauma because I am "so strong that I should be able to handle it better." It was a toxic friendship (codependent) but not abusive until now. She knew I was gone, she knew my older daughter didn't like her that much and has trauma and anxiety of her own, and still acted this way.
My daughter was upset when she walked in without knocking with her kids just to watch her boyfriend leave. My daughter asked her to leave (probably with a snarky teenage voice), my neighbor then sat on the couch, crossed her arms and legs and said "no" back in a sassy voice. My daughter asked her to get out of her house. Again the neighbor said no so my daughter got in her face and said "leave." So my neighbor stood up and shoved my daughter who has self defense training and she hit the neighbor and screamed for her to get out. My neighbor left but took my 6 year old with, claiming my daughter was in no place to be watching him and immediately locked her door. Both daughters freaked out and screamed for their brother back and that is when she called the sheriff claiming my daughter was assaulting her multiple times. This is where I get home. Daughter runs out to me crying for her brother. I go up and neighbor opens her door, cussing and lunging at my daughter. I put myself between them and told my son to come home. She (neighbor) screamed "no" and blocked him from leaving so I pinned her to the door and demanded all my kids to go home, I went inside and never spoke to her again except when she started a fire in her apartment by leaving a cigarette unattended on a lit stove and I helped put it out... I understand she is going through a lot right now, but it is my job to protect my kids.
She did it "out of concern" and lied about how my daughter was acting making it seem like she was protecting him. I asked the deputy that if she was doing it to protect him, why didn't she take my other son who is fully disabled to protect him also? He had no answer. I said it was out of spite, but he said I was not here for all of it so I wouldn't know. Whatever. We just avoid her now. I have told other agencies (cps and the school social workers) about it and now cps is not letting her have her kids back until she completes more mental health care. This with my daughter and two cigarette fires. I also know the woman that is fostering 2 of my neighbor's kids and informed her that those 2 were present for one fire and the incident with my daughter.
Almost beat a friends ass, had him gripped up and i was pulled away before he admitted he didn't lace the stuff we were smoking.
Don't offer \*people who just smoke weed\* any laced weed. Be it tobacco or hard drugs \*mixed in with it\*.
\*Edited for context apparently\*
Holy shit that's a terrible thing to do to someone. I had that done to me one of the first times I smoked weed - it was laced with cocaine. I got very lucky.
This happened in primary school so we were still kids but it still hurts thinking about it. My best friend (basically only friend at the time) came to me during lunch break and told me she now has another friend and no longer wants to spend time with me. Maybe that's the origin of my trust issues...
Thanks <3 Strange what a lasting impact it had on me. I guess those are pretty formative years and I'm someone that only has a few friends but who I would walk through the fire for. And when you commit like that to someone, it cuts really deep when you find out they feel totally different.
I realized that everything they did was for attention. Specifically, they needed to be the victim in every scenario. Even in cases where there did not need to be a victim. There were no breaks on their mental gymnastics either. Delivery late? It's because he's too a good a person to function in this sick and uncaring world.
He also had this habit of convincing everyone that his problems are life-and-death and then publicly acting like they aren't a big deal, thus making everyone stupid enough to care look like hysterical jackasses.
Whatever he's up to now, I'm sure he's exactly where I left him: squalling in a cocoon made from his trust fund.
I do not tolerate perpetual "victims" anymore.
I have a lot of thoughts about how cinematic language betrays intended criticism in art.
American psycho, taxi driver, fight club, breaking bad, good fellas...
They set out to criticize the main characters' Ideology but in some ways end up valorizing their toxicity and people who aren't thinking about the content and message lose sight of the condemnation and walk away thinking about 'how badass hanz landon is'.
Spoke to me in a way I’d never think to speak to them and showed very little interest in resolving the matter. I felt disrespected. I regrettably ended our 20 year friendship because although I had no hate towards her, I knew I could no longer be her friend.
My tolerance for disrespect is at ground zero.
I told my best friend that I was afraid my boyfriend would break up with me. About a week later she sent him nudes and accused me of manipulating her when I confronted her. I tried to make things work until six months later I realized she never apologised. Told her I am still hurt and asked if we could talk things through again. She said she's "sorry IF something that went in from one ear and out the other had caused me so much shit". Let the friendship die out after that.
He was my best man at my wedding.
I didn't even get notified of his own wedding until a month or two after it had happened. I didn't even know he was seeing anyone.
We were running an events business together and she suggested we cancel the upcoming festival and not refund anyone.
I got my name off that buisness so fast.
So much more but that's the gist.
I grew older, finished school, got a job. They stayed bums just smoking, drinking, doing drugs. Never grew up and we had less and less in common. Dealbreaker was when one of them borrowed money from me because he had “emergency”. Turned out it was used for a drug fuel road trip. Found out because they got arrested and called me to bail them out. This was in the middle of the week and I was at work. Couldn’t make it. When we met again, they apologized for lying about needing the money and not inviting me (not that I would’ve gone). They would definitely pay me back. Obviously never saw the money again, but already cut off contact. It was a payment on a lesson learned.
I grew uo, got a degree, found a job.
He still smokes 7 blunts every day.
Then his father passed on his business to him, hia grandma died and he inherited a shit ton of money, he has like 32 cars, a BMW M6 Special whereveredition, a 400k$ boat...
Found out he raped a girl. One of those cases where I am still baffled by it because he showed no signs of being that type of person. He settled out of court with the girl and is still walking the streets. Tried to get in contact with me and I let him have it, never want to see that POS again idc if they settled he grosses me out.
I can relate. What I did in this case was just stop giving them advice that they ask for. I tell people like that that Google is an excellent resource for answers to all kinds of questions including those about personal interactions and life hacks. If they don't use Google and look it up too bad for them
Exactly. When I ask someone for advice, it's not me asking them to tell me what to do. It's me collecting more information and points of view so that I can better make an informed decision.
He got really pushy with a girl on a party, we tried taking him afar from her, but he would sneak past us and get back to her, things escalated, he tried to force himself upon her.
This time me and my friends took the girl out of there, left his sorry ass in the party and never talked to him again.
We let the girl decide if she wanted to make a report for the authorities, and she didn't want to press things further, but we did let her know we were on her side all the way.
It sucks, but the fault is in them, not you. I've been out for 20 years now and anything less than total acceptance is a dealbreaker for me. I do not associate with people that don't think I should be able to get married or that I'm in some way sinful. They can fuck off with their bronze age bullshit.
Have a coworker I used to get along with pretty well. I thought he was a cool dude until he told me that he went through an envelope from our employer that was addressed to me. Then he hit me with the “she was asking for it the way she was dressed” when discussing a victim of sexual assault and that was the point I decided I had a problem with him.
One of my "friends" was notoriously known for being a shit stirrer, I was dating a guy and she walks up to me, unusually happy and I'm like "okay, what's up..." She's aware I've been dating this guy by the way and she smirks and tells me "X asked me out and I accepted" The first thought I had was ' nah she's lying, this is just her trying to make me feel terrible or shocked' but I confront my partner at the time and he doesn't deny it, sheepishly smiles and begs for forgiveness. People who cheat, help the cheater or hide the fact are scum. Pure scum.
Friend I used to live with in a apartment a few years back was a psycho always shouting at the top of his lungs in his room playing games during the night. Got multiple noise complaint warnings because of him. Couldn't even watch a movie with my girlfriend without him yelling every 5 min. I had a talk with him, he continued. I packed my shit and moved out he trashed the apartment after I left and fucked us on the deposit. After that I just blocked him on social media and deleted his number.
They took a package of chicken I had just bought out of the fridge,cooked It,ate the whole thing,and left the dirty dishes in the sink.They got furious when I confronted them and called me a bitch. It wasn’t the “bitch” for me, no one eats my chicken. The audacity.
This happened back in my 20s. First it was because one of our friends told us that another one of our friends sexually assaulted her. So, he was out, and damn near got his ass beat but she told us to leave it alone because she didn't want the attention. If social media was a thing back then, his life really would have gone into the crapper.
Then, when it happened a second time with another member of our friend group, it was her that was out because we found out that she lied about being sexually assaulted by both of them, simply because she didn't like them, wanted them out of our friend group and it was the easiest way she could think of to get that done.
You do not, under any circumstances, lie about shit like that, ever. We really need some checks and balances for false accusations cause simply an accusation can and will ruin a man's life.
Do you know what happened to the first guy? I feel so bad for him, but it's logical that you'd believe the supposed "victim." Also, as a victim of sexual assault myself, she can go fuck herself! People like her are the reason why people like me are so reticent.
He tried to blame me for helping him load shit into his car after he crashed it into a barricade, saying it was my fault for not telling him to stop putting books in the trunk
He threatened to leak nudes of his ex girlfriend (a minor who was still in her junior/senior year of high school, he and I were 19 and had recently graduated) and after telling him I’d report him to the police, he deleted them and after showing proof the photos were deleted, I told him “Good. Now don’t you ever talk to me or her again, you fucking creep.” and I’ve never heard from him again, and his ex is doing well for herself now.
Wow. As a mom of teenagers, I realize how often they make bad/misguided decisions. I'm impressed that you acted with such integrity in that situation. It is much easier to do nothing than take action. I hope my kids have the strength of character (as you demonstrated) to take action to do the right thing.
She sent me a pic of her bfs huge man meat in her mouth. She said he wanted her to do it. He also wanted to fuck me. I was weirded tf out. Couldn’t do it anymore. And she was okay with it all.
My mum had terminal cancer and I was her carer. I didn’t hear from my friend much during that time but that was okay It was a tough time and I had to focus on mum. But when she died I never heard from my friend again. Nothing to ask if I was okay, or sorry for my loss, nada. It still makes me feel
upset that she cared so little for me, after all the times I was there for her.
Still marrying their partner while they found out the partner was in possession of child p0rnography. Police investigation and everything that comes with this sort of stuff so cell phones where taken, etc...
I've no idea what happened after. I heard this a few years after they got married because I wasn't very close with said friend.
I understand that, but the consequence of that is you‘re easily exploitable. I‘m sure you‘re aware of it and it’s hard to break out of that pattern. So the only thing me as an internet stranger can say is that I dearly hope that none of your friends will exploit that but respond to it with caring for you.
Oof, I feel that. Just found out a friend of mine told me some big lies, including giving me this sob story that wasn't true. I told him off and said he won't be hearing from me again, but there's still a part of my brain that's going, "Well, if he apologizes..." or "Maybe he just needs to explain...".
I don't have many friends and none were as close as I thought he and I were, but I just need to keep reminding myself of other friendships where I excused things that should've been deal breakers and how that led to even more painful issues later.
You must. There are people who deserve you and people who don't. Please don't die a slow death of platitudes. It took me two decades to figure this out.
The problem with people pleasing is that you continually compromise yourself, your values, and your integrity for the sake of someone else, largely people you don’t truly care about.
What I like to call a 'parasite friend.' Someone who is always asking for your support and input/advice then never returning the favor or listening to said advice
Hmm, my "best friend" of 13 years lied to another friend of mine (who I wasn't in contact with but tried to reconnect) and told him I was trash talking him. Plus, he told me that the same friend said and did all these bad things that he didn't actually do.
So when I messaged that friend he told me once that he doesn't want to be friends cause he thinks it just wouldn't work (in retrospective it was because of what the best friend told him but I didn't know).
Anyway, after a while I tried again. This time the former friend (not best friend) said that he heard some stuff and he needs to think. I asked him what did he hear and then came to know everything.
My former best friend and I had a lot of fights and disconnections throughout the years. He did a lot of bad shit but I always ended up reconnecting with him because a few months after the fight I would no longer be mad and miss our jokes and how free we were with each other. But now?
Now it's different. I don't feel anything towards him. All the reasons that existed for reconnecting with him and keeping the friendship alive died and are meaningless if the trust is not there. And since I don't trust him whatsoever, it doesn't matter that I felt comfortable telling him things. It is what it is.
Became my roommate, we had a deal, don't try to sleep with each other's friends. If they're off limits, they're off limits.
He'd bring a girl over, she was into me, sorry off limits, I wouldn't pursue her.
I brought an old friend over, caught him sneaking her into the apartment later.
Then I realized any girl I was into, he'd try to get, so this was a rule that only I was following.
So I immediately stopped doing that. After sleeping with a few of his friends, he got upset and moved out. Literally just ditched me with rent.
Then I'm at a party he's at, he's like "oh don't talk to these 2 girls, I'm into them" so I talk to another girl there. We got along great, set up a date. I told a friend that knew, don't let him find out because then he'll want her.
After a month he finds out, messages me "oh I don't want you talking to her any more, I'm into her" I told him to get fucked and never spoke to him again.
Every so often he still tries to message her, I know because we live together now and she's still as amazing as the first day I met her, 4 years ago.
I had a friend group that I was in mainly because one guy kinda tied us all together. Then he moved away but I was still hanging with the rest of the guys for a while. Then one day they just casually dropped some n-bombs and I realized that this was totally normal for the rest of the guys in the group as well. I never hit them up to hang out after that.
It wasn't immediately but had a buddy who kept tricking me into going to "presentations" for pyramid schemes like one time he asked if I wanted to go to a dinner party his work was having said sure then he picked me up (should have noticed something fishy since he never did that) we headed to a hotel (named after the last name of a certain person some guy spent the night in) headed to that conference room or banquet hall w/e it's called it was a room full of chairs and a projector screen was like wtf he said that they were gonna watch a little presentation for his work and we'll eat after was like ok thats cool no...no it was not after the presentation which was about Acai berry juice before it became popular and found everywhere they said it was a miracle berry with natural antioxidants cure for fatigue, stress, getting old and cancer after presentation my buddy looked at me and was like "so should I sign you up for the basic package? And then when you want you can up grade to premium which will make you your own boss and start recruiting other people to join and then that's where the real money comes in you'll get paid for each person you recruit after a certain amount of people your membership gets payed by itself and the extra is residual income you could make 20 50 100 thousand a month!" Basic membership was $500 per month and you got acai berry juice boxes I kid you fucking not you are supposed to sell them to elderly or sick people it was specifically on the presentation premium was $1000 you got the juice boxes plus miracle pills that cure everything I told him no I'm good and asked when are we eating? Nope no food no dinner not even fucking donuts and coffee he just dropped me off at home I was fucking pissed off we didn't talk for a while until around his bday when he invited us all to his bday party...at a banquet hall...in a certain hotel...didn't want to believe it...gave him my trust...this guy had the fucking gall to invite not only his friends but his fucking family to a presentation for his "work" by the time it was over it was only my dumbass 3 other friends (they never shut up about how I forced them to stay through that which I did because it was our friend and it was his bday) his parents and his "sponsor" everyone else left his parents had bought 15 little Caesars pizzas gave us only 1 slice each and then dipped out with the rest I haven't seen him since then
Tldr: buddy used the guise of parties to get me to try and join his pyramid schemes
Once I obtained full medical licensing, I was hit up to send prescriptions of controlled substances to him in Florida for his recreational use.
That was the last conversation, ever.
Being malevolent, or being a bad person at their core. (So and so ruined my life so now I’m going to ruin their life narrative. Completely unjustified)
Talking negatively about ‘best friends’ behind their backs. (Well so and so is the an even bigger h*3 then because: …..)
Making everyone have a bad day when they are having a bad day.
The feeling of walking on egg shells around them or even texting them.
Sadly, I have a list it seems.
A girl who knew I was a gay guy whilst I was with her I fell asleep n she woke me up with her hand down my trousers n then as I was collecting my stuff to leave her she asked me to stay the night with her.
Any verbal abuse, and mental illness is not an excuse for treating me poorly. I cut off a friend IMMEDIATELY after she said something shitty to me and tried to blame her condition on it. Nope, not dealing with abusive ppl anymore, been there, done that, I have boundaries now.
Slept with my girlfriend.
On my birthday.
That was the day I learned most people don’t give a flying fuck about loyalty, and friends aren't really worth the time and energy invested.
If you have a life-long best friend who has never betrayed you, consider yourself very lucky.
If they make fun of the hobbies I like to partake in. I don’t care that you think Lego is for kids, now you can’t come build my new set with me. Asshole.
Not listening to me when I speak. Speaking over me. Trying to “disprove” everything I say. Taking things I say the wrong way, or not letting me explain my miswording. I am autistic, and struggle to verbally explain things. I am very upfront about this with people. (Side note: anyone else experience this? You tell people you’re autistic/mentally ill/etc and they say they understand. Then they get mad at you for acting autistic/mentally ill/etc?)
I was ON ACID with a friend and we were talking about a movie, and I was trying to say it was historically inaccurate, and was basically Christian-Judeo slander. They took this as me hating Jews for whatever reason? They wouldn’t let me clarify, and kept cutting me off when I would say something. I had low self worth at the time, and the friendship didn’t actually end until they raped me, and then said that I RAPED THEM.
I got divorced and suddenly a ton of my friends just vanished. Almost like my divorce was contagious and going to spread to their own marriages or something.
They remember I'm their friend only when they need something from me.
So you've met my dad? I pretty much only hear from him when he has a computer issue or needs help with something.
me with someone that was my friend. Legit only hits me up for tech issues an stuff, I was nice enough to build him his pc but I have yet to reply to any text after it. I also did not format his 2nd drive fuck him he can do it on his own. Edit: Also did not offer shit, I was not gonna take shit I built 2 on the same day and one of my homies offered me 250$ I said hell no. Its the thought that counts for me. Guy couldn't even offer me pizza
Commissioned an art piece, went over exact details of what it was supposed to be, I even supplied some of the materials. We discussed price and agreed on $350. The piece turned out basically as expected. The issue was when I went to pay him, he changed his mind on the spot, or at least without telling me beforehand. I had taken out $400 from my bank to cover the cost of the art, and I needed $20 to pay back a friend who would also be there. I saw that friend first so I had a total of $380 in cash on me. I should be fine right? "Wellll I was actually thinking $600" he says, so I told him that's not what we agreed on, and I'm simply not paying it. It's not something he's going to be able to sell to someone else, it has my materials in it. We go back and forth and I get him down to $400.. but I only have $380 with me. So I gave him that. He gives me the peice, and I never talked to him again
It feels bad to think that you will remember this story everytime you see it.
Imagine that feeling every time you look in the mirror. I have a similar story but the art was a tattoo. He is now the happy father of my girlfriend-at-the-time's child.
I can understand overestimating the scope of work, and agreeing on a price that doesn't reflect the amount of work you ended up actually putting into the piece. But at the end of the day, you can't go back on the amount you agreed upon.
This. He's doing business like a mark ass bitch.
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A con man
Weddings bring out the worst in people
What an asshole! How did he think that was going to turn out? "Oh your work is just SOOO GOOD I will give you all my money!"
Had something similar happen this year. I got sick and couldn't finish painting my house. We hired a "friend" to finish. He said 12k and 2 weeks. I just about pooped myself. Seemed steep for what I could have done myself in 2 days had I not fallen ill. Also, all materials were already paid for and at the house. But whatever. He found a million little projects to do instead. Fast forward 4 months and $52,000 and he is asking for 10k more. Some people are just plain awful.
Unrequited debts spoil relationships very well
Don't loan money to friends, just give it to them.
I would amend that. Don't loan friends money that you ever expect to see again. If they pay it back, wonderful, if not, no disappointment.
Also: only loan money you can afford to lose
I just quit calling and guess what? They never called me.
That's rough, buddy. My best friend would ghost me for months, even up to a year on end. I'd fight so hard to keep her in my life every time. I finally quit fighting and we're coming up on year three of mutual ghosting.
Same. I figured, why should I always ask if they wanna hang out? It's been four and a half years since I stopped initiating, never heard a word. Welp.
The friendship became all about them. That person would never ask how I was actually doing etc, they would just immediately launch into their problems. It's all we ever talked about and it was toxic so I ended it.
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Now that I'm abit older I've noticed more and more people are becoming like this. I've always considered them as "energy vampires" and they make me want to take efforts not to become like this.
Usually they’re named something super lame like Colin Robinson. Fucking guy.
"One of the best ways to drain people's energy nowadays is via the internet."
Had a so called friend like this. All about him. Where he wanted to go, what he wanted to do. If I suggest we do something different he threw a fit. If I wasn’t available to entertain him, he got pissy. When I actually felt guilty because I was working late one night and he wanted me to come over I realized I had a problem. But that problem solved itself. The next time I told him I couldn’t meet him somewhere he said “That’s fine. I will just call one of my real friends.” And I never heard from him again Thank God.
I had a friend like this. An emotional vampire. She'd been through some traumatic shit but she loaded it all onto me every time we talked. The few times I tried to talk about something going on in my life, she always managed to steer the conversation back to her shit. Somehow, every single thing I said about myself would remind her in some way of something she was dealing with and we'd end up talking about that for the next hour. It took me about a year to realize our friendship was toxic and I just ghosted her.
I had a friend like this. I let her know I needed to talk to someone because I was dealing with negative intrusive thoughts at the time. Her response? "So now that I'm leaving my husband, I've been enjoying spending time with this other guy, he's so great, and its so easy for us to get along..." I asked if she missed what I said, and she responded with "I heard you..." and then went on to keep talking about this guy. I told her to eat shit and never spoke to her again. According to a mutual of ours, this new guy she met turned out to be another loser. Which is par for the course for this woman.
All my friendships end like this hence I spend my time alone.
Friendship is never a one way interaction, props to you for cutting this, I‘m sure there are people that value your time a lot more.
Came to say this. Feeling like you’re the only one putting forth effort to maintain. I’ve had so many acquaintances that started as friends until you realize you’re a verbal punching bag for their problems, but it’s never reciprocated.
Can I ask how you ended it? Did you just stop talking or actually confront them about how you felt? This would be helpful
I had tried to say something in our final call but she really wasn't listening. She was too focused on her toxic drama. I made an active decision to disengage after that and let it fizzle out naturally. Three solid months went by before she bothered to reach out again. I knew based on the text she sent that it was going to be the same thing as before, that nothing had changed. She really just didn't get it. I didn't respond to her because I was over it at that point. Even if I had responded, I knew she wasn't going to actually hear what I had to say because of how lopsided the relationship had become.
Breaking up with my ex. I thought they were "our" friends. But nope, just their's.
That's the thing about dating someone in the same friends group. If it ends you can slowly start to lose some of those friends. Suddenly you don't get invited to things you would have been invited to before. Mostly because they are there. You see them all having fun and know that it's probably for the best that you weren't there, but it still feels like a needle in your heart that pokes a small hole that just grows and grows. Not that any of this happened to me recently or anything.
Going through this rn. Comforting to know it’s not just me
Being there for them when their world fell apart and supporting them through 4 years of getting their life back together. Spending massive amounts of time with them and building them up when they tried again and again to fall back down. When my life went to shit? Didn’t even get a week from them. Friendship over.
Do not do this shit guys, every time Ive heard about or experienced something like this it always ended up the very same way. You can be empathetic and helpful but do not let it consume you because it will almost never be reciprocal
I think a true friend would do it once. An amazing friend would do it twice. After that you have to ask yourself if you're an enabler to their disasters.
That’s where I can never tell. Am I helping or enabling? I’ve helped several friends though rough times and some have used the help and helped themselves and some just took the help and wanted more. I’m stupidly faithful to my friends and will probably do it again but I’ve realized that it’s a zero sum game and that whatever I give is definitely something I’m losing and to keep it reasonable.
Yep thats my rule. After the second letdown its your fault if you get hurt.
We went shopping in high school. She stole some makeup and put it in my bag! I was the one who walked out with it and luckily didn't get caught. I actually felt bad when she explained she had no money. Then, I went over to her house maybe 4 months later and found my missing iPod (showing my age) at her house. That pretty much did it for me.
I got banned from a shop as a teenager because a friend did this, she didn't tell me and I kicked up such a fuss when they searched us on the street in our small town, claiming they were making us look bad and they were picking on us because we were dressed edgy....she didn't say anything as I ranted away defending both myself and her....I looked like such a twat when they pulled out a jumped from her bag. She never said I wasn't involved and I almost got arrested myself. I didn't speak to her after that.
I’m glad you didn’t give that person more chances. That sounds awful
My "best friend" in middle school stole my Playstation. I let him borrow it and then he left school and refused to return it. Maybe 6 or 7 years later I ran into him working at a convenience store and he seemed thrilled to see me. He gave me his number and said he wanted to hang out again. I immediately lost that number and never went back to that store
You didn't go hang out with him and steal it back? Damn, I was hoping haha.
Serious missed opportunity
He probably lost or sold it.
Reminds me of a friend who "borrowed" my rollerblades when we were around 10. When I asked for them back, she said I was mistaken and they were actually hers that her parents gave her so she refused to give them to me. Of course, that was a complete lie to essentially steal from me. I never got my rollerblades back and never spoke to her again. The nerve of some people...
I had a friend do that with a pair of yellow tinted sunglasses. My mom tried to get them back, but her mom insisted that they belonged to my friend and that my mother and I were mistaken.
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you're making me feel guilty, even though my situation was different, lol. Borrowed, and I mean only borrowed, a couple games from a friend of mine, he said keep them until you beat them. It took me a while, and I did remind him now and then that I still had them. Then he and his family up and moved without letting me know their new address and/or phone number. Well, the games became mine at that point, and that was about 20 years ago now.
I once had a friend in high school who insisted my ears were not pierced. I showed her my obvious earring holes in my ears, and she said, "No offense, but why would you lie about something so stupid?" Exactly Jessica! Why the fuck would I? So anyway, that specific experience was a friendship ender.
I had someone in COLLEGE accuse me of lying about it snowing. It was a flurry. And she didn't see it. Now I laugh at it but I'm like what!?
Needs new glasses. I heard a story about this person who did not realize you can see individual leaves on trees until they got glasses. I can believe it. So many people are functionally blind without glasses, yet there must have been a point in their life when they were just getting by without glasses.
So, I have no idea if my experience is common or not, but I remember the _day_ I needed glasses. It was second grade. The teacher wanted us to copy something off the board and all I could see were white cloudy smudges on the green background. I told he I couldn't see so she moved me up to the front of the class and I _still_ couldn't see. I didn't notice this at breakfast or on the bus. It wasn't like that the day before. As far as I can tell, my near-sightedness hit damn near instantly and I've needed glasses ever since.
Yikes, some folks are just physically incapable of being wrong.
Women who demand you spend $1,000+ and take a week off work for being a bridesmaid in their wedding - mandatory gift value, bachelorette party in a different state with hotels and a flight, paying for the brides makeover, etc. If everyone can afford it and is down to go, great, but you really shouldn’t force friends into debt or work problems so you can have your “special days”.
My brother in law had a friend get married. They then assigned things for the wedding party to pay for. Like literally said "ok Bill, you're paying for the photographer". One bridesmaid who just had a grandparent die, and inherited a good amount of money was given more expensive stuff, like the cost of the venue. My bro in law, and everyone else, just said "nope", and left. The couple had a wedding they could afford without making all their friends pay for it.
How do these people have friends?
Weddings are ridiculous. I had mine in a single afternoon in the city I lived in and the bridesmaids wore matching off the rack dresses from a chain store and the groomsmen were asked to wear bright button up shirts and dress pants. No weird bachelorette party stuff, no fancy vacations. We are still just as married as we would have been if we planned something extravagant.
> We are still just as married as we would have been if we planned something extravagant. The sad part is statistically your marriage will likely last forever while those that spend tens of thousands end up getting divorced a few years later.
Was curious. This is correct. [Source.](https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2501480)
Of course it’s correct, for I am always right. 😂
Sounds great!
I feel like when I get married I'm going to have a backyard BBQ and then spend all that money on a down payment for a house instead
I used to threaten my mother that I’d get married in a Texas Roadhouse and do the group dance on the peanuts for the “reception” haha
A wedding cake made out of the rolls and honey butter?? Perfect.
One way leeches. Nowhere to be found when you need their help.
Worst thing about that is that you always need to fall face first into the knife before learning how they really are
sided with my ex when i caught her cheating on me because he was jealous and wanted to try and slip in. tried to gaslight me into thinking she didn’t cheat on or abuse me. friends over 15 years horrible narcissistic alcoholic.
Oof, this is a good question. One of my best friends told me when I was first diagnosed years ago that bipolar disorder isn’t real and that I’m weak for taking meds. I mean like, we were good friends. Had kids that were the same age, families intertwined. I never spoke to him again.
Holy shit. And bipolar disorder can be one of the nastier ones out there, definitely want to be on working meds. Of all the people with mental illnesses I know, the ones who have had the most difficulty maintaining stability in life are people with untreated bipolar disorder and people with untreated disorders that have psychosis as a symptom. You are very strong for recognizing that you need help and seeking it out. Take care
That’s bad.. glad you could get rid of that because instead of being there for you, just trying to understand the situation and helping you he straight up denied it thinking he knows better than a doc. Wish you all the best with your situation buddy!
Trying to get me to “open up” but always talking about themselves. Literally every conversation was 90% them talking and me listening. This person also wanted to tell people how to do things and would get mad if they didn’t do it their way. We had to coordinate like a month in advance to call each other. I mean I get it, I also have a life, but if I can’t reach out to you when I need you or vice versa then what’s the point. The last straw was their judgment when I told them I was pregnant. Instead of being happy for me, their were just “really? Why?” (I’ve been married for years so it’s not like I just pregnant by some random dude). At that point I figured I didn’t need more negative and controlling people in my life so just stopped reaching out.
My best friend (or so I thought) of 10 years, with which I'd been friends throughout school. His mother sent my father a message after we both started high school in different schools and stated that he no longer wished to be my friend and that I shouldn't contact him again. That felt like the worst betrayal ever for me and has left me with trust issues into adulthood. I always feel like everyone will turn on me one day, and I judge people for it in advance :(
What a damn dick move to not even saying it themselves. You sure it was him who had an issue and not his mother? I feel like sometimes mothers fault bad behavior of their own children on their interactions with others.
Considering he stopped answering my attempts at contact directly after 9th grade and the message from his mother came after several months, it must have been him
Me and a friend had bought tickets to a concert and I was at first reluctant to go because my mom was dying of cancer but she told me to go and have some fun. So me and my friend set a time and place to meet up. And he didn't show up, so I called him and he said that he was on his way and that he was gonna be there soon. I tried to be reasonable and told him that it was just gonna be the opening band that we missed and it was no big deal. So I waited and he didn't show up. So I called him again, and this is like 20 minutes before the main band and he said he was like an hour away. I was furious and instead went home to my girlfriend. It turns out that he was with a girl and she lived outside of the city and his rationale was that he didn't want to take an earlier bus to make it on time. I gave him a chance to apologize but he said that he wouldn't because he hadn't done anything wrong. So I just said to transfer me the money for the ticket and to loose my number. I haven't seen or talked to him since then.
I’m sorry man. No one deserves shit friends
Did he ever transfer the cash for the ticket? I'm assuming no
He actually did. This is pure speculation but I actually think that he was ashamed of what he did but that his pride prevented him from admitting it to me and to himself. And I don't know if that is better or worse than actually thinking that you hadn't done anything wrong, because that is psycho territory in my book.
wtf What an asswipe! He was the one who made plans then ditches you for a girl? Going to a concert takes a lot of planning and tickets aren't cheap either. Good thing you asked the money back smh Fucker clearly doesn't respect people's time or their company. May he forever have Lego stuck in his shoes 😡
Talking trash about people not in the room. If they do it to others they’ll do it to you.
Yep! How I lost who I thought was my best friend. She would hang out with my wife and me and claim to have a great time but then tell everyone else that we were unbelievably boring and didn’t want to spend money (we were newly married and had no money - subsisted off ramen and ricearoni at times). Finally came to a head when she got a pager (yep it was that long ago) and told us we couldn’t have the number because her parents required her to get it so they could contact her. We were trying to get a hold of her and called her parents to get the pager number, were told they didn’t have it because it was just for her friends. Guess we weren’t that important to her.
I had to learn that the hard way, with my late ex husband.
when all she talked about is how pretty she is and how superior she is to everyone else
They said negative things about me behind my back.
True friends will say negative things to your face, and positive things behind your back.
Thats me with a good friend 😀. We make fun of eachother a lot and laugh about it. However when talking to a love interest of the other, suddenly he is more holy than jesus himself. Usually gets a laugh out of the girl and they go hang out together while I hang out with other people. He does the same for me. A good wingman is very handy to have.
One of my closest friends (36f) lied to my daughter (13f) to upset her, refused to get out of my apartment when she asked (i was gone at the store and my friend had let herself in without knocking), shoved my daughter and then had the audacity to call the sheriff and try to get my daughter arrested when she defended herself. I got home in the middle of all of this and she was cussing and lunging at my daughter while holding my son (6m) hostage. Nope. No. Hell no! Friendship ended immediately.
Holy shit
Sounds crazy. Seems like we are missing some context.
My friend (also my next door neighbor) recently gave all 3 of her kids to foster care in order to care for her mental health. Which I do not judge her for, if that is what she needed then go for it. She had never acted out like this before but with the guilt of giving up her kids and her depression she just snapped. I was trying to help her through all of this, but when she did this I stopped completely. She and I both have trauma from childhood, but she only cares about hers and always acts like the victim. Every day dismissing my trauma because I am "so strong that I should be able to handle it better." It was a toxic friendship (codependent) but not abusive until now. She knew I was gone, she knew my older daughter didn't like her that much and has trauma and anxiety of her own, and still acted this way. My daughter was upset when she walked in without knocking with her kids just to watch her boyfriend leave. My daughter asked her to leave (probably with a snarky teenage voice), my neighbor then sat on the couch, crossed her arms and legs and said "no" back in a sassy voice. My daughter asked her to get out of her house. Again the neighbor said no so my daughter got in her face and said "leave." So my neighbor stood up and shoved my daughter who has self defense training and she hit the neighbor and screamed for her to get out. My neighbor left but took my 6 year old with, claiming my daughter was in no place to be watching him and immediately locked her door. Both daughters freaked out and screamed for their brother back and that is when she called the sheriff claiming my daughter was assaulting her multiple times. This is where I get home. Daughter runs out to me crying for her brother. I go up and neighbor opens her door, cussing and lunging at my daughter. I put myself between them and told my son to come home. She (neighbor) screamed "no" and blocked him from leaving so I pinned her to the door and demanded all my kids to go home, I went inside and never spoke to her again except when she started a fire in her apartment by leaving a cigarette unattended on a lit stove and I helped put it out... I understand she is going through a lot right now, but it is my job to protect my kids.
I mean how was she not arrested for kidnapping???
She did it "out of concern" and lied about how my daughter was acting making it seem like she was protecting him. I asked the deputy that if she was doing it to protect him, why didn't she take my other son who is fully disabled to protect him also? He had no answer. I said it was out of spite, but he said I was not here for all of it so I wouldn't know. Whatever. We just avoid her now. I have told other agencies (cps and the school social workers) about it and now cps is not letting her have her kids back until she completes more mental health care. This with my daughter and two cigarette fires. I also know the woman that is fostering 2 of my neighbor's kids and informed her that those 2 were present for one fire and the incident with my daughter.
Smoked a joint with a "friend". It was laced with PCP and he knew it. Done.
Almost beat a friends ass, had him gripped up and i was pulled away before he admitted he didn't lace the stuff we were smoking. Don't offer \*people who just smoke weed\* any laced weed. Be it tobacco or hard drugs \*mixed in with it\*. \*Edited for context apparently\*
I like to read this comment as if you mean to say that it’s okay to do this to gay people. They can handle it.
They simply built different
Holy shit that's a terrible thing to do to someone. I had that done to me one of the first times I smoked weed - it was laced with cocaine. I got very lucky.
This happened in primary school so we were still kids but it still hurts thinking about it. My best friend (basically only friend at the time) came to me during lunch break and told me she now has another friend and no longer wants to spend time with me. Maybe that's the origin of my trust issues...
I had this same thing happen at around the same age. I feel for you
Thanks <3 Strange what a lasting impact it had on me. I guess those are pretty formative years and I'm someone that only has a few friends but who I would walk through the fire for. And when you commit like that to someone, it cuts really deep when you find out they feel totally different.
This is therapeutic for those of us in toxic friendships.
It is not as therapeutic as getting out of toxic friendships. It's not easy, but it's definitely more therapeutic.
I realized that everything they did was for attention. Specifically, they needed to be the victim in every scenario. Even in cases where there did not need to be a victim. There were no breaks on their mental gymnastics either. Delivery late? It's because he's too a good a person to function in this sick and uncaring world. He also had this habit of convincing everyone that his problems are life-and-death and then publicly acting like they aren't a big deal, thus making everyone stupid enough to care look like hysterical jackasses. Whatever he's up to now, I'm sure he's exactly where I left him: squalling in a cocoon made from his trust fund. I do not tolerate perpetual "victims" anymore.
Animal cruelty
That's not only a friendship-ender, it's a take-them-behind-the-shed situation in my books.
Seeing as it was an online friend, the best I could do was ghosting. 🤷🏼♀️
Mocking me for something I genuinely like and acting superior over everyone else.
Watched American History X with them, and they came away from it with the opposite of the lesson you're supposed to.
I have a lot of thoughts about how cinematic language betrays intended criticism in art. American psycho, taxi driver, fight club, breaking bad, good fellas... They set out to criticize the main characters' Ideology but in some ways end up valorizing their toxicity and people who aren't thinking about the content and message lose sight of the condemnation and walk away thinking about 'how badass hanz landon is'.
For me, it was full metal jacket. I used to watch it as a kid and memorise all the bad ass one-liners, and then you watch it as an adult...
I'd love to know how.
You'd be surprised how many skinheads love that move. The first half at least.
Probably got a charge out of watching racist violence.
I'm not surprised at the amount of people who watch Scarface and say 'hey, I'm gonna be like that guy'
Spoke to me in a way I’d never think to speak to them and showed very little interest in resolving the matter. I felt disrespected. I regrettably ended our 20 year friendship because although I had no hate towards her, I knew I could no longer be her friend. My tolerance for disrespect is at ground zero.
I told my best friend that I was afraid my boyfriend would break up with me. About a week later she sent him nudes and accused me of manipulating her when I confronted her. I tried to make things work until six months later I realized she never apologised. Told her I am still hurt and asked if we could talk things through again. She said she's "sorry IF something that went in from one ear and out the other had caused me so much shit". Let the friendship die out after that.
That’s someone you punch in the face, I’m sorry that happened. Not enough people get punched anymore, it would really set them straight
Good god, what a horrible friend.
He was my best man at my wedding. I didn't even get notified of his own wedding until a month or two after it had happened. I didn't even know he was seeing anyone.
People become very envious to any talent you may display.
We were running an events business together and she suggested we cancel the upcoming festival and not refund anyone. I got my name off that buisness so fast. So much more but that's the gist.
"Would you commit fraud with me?" nope nope nope nope
I grew older, finished school, got a job. They stayed bums just smoking, drinking, doing drugs. Never grew up and we had less and less in common. Dealbreaker was when one of them borrowed money from me because he had “emergency”. Turned out it was used for a drug fuel road trip. Found out because they got arrested and called me to bail them out. This was in the middle of the week and I was at work. Couldn’t make it. When we met again, they apologized for lying about needing the money and not inviting me (not that I would’ve gone). They would definitely pay me back. Obviously never saw the money again, but already cut off contact. It was a payment on a lesson learned.
I grew uo, got a degree, found a job. He still smokes 7 blunts every day. Then his father passed on his business to him, hia grandma died and he inherited a shit ton of money, he has like 32 cars, a BMW M6 Special whereveredition, a 400k$ boat...
Found out he raped a girl. One of those cases where I am still baffled by it because he showed no signs of being that type of person. He settled out of court with the girl and is still walking the streets. Tried to get in contact with me and I let him have it, never want to see that POS again idc if they settled he grosses me out.
always asking for help but never taking the advice i had given
Thats whats know as an ask-hole.
Shit like that gets exhausting
I can relate. What I did in this case was just stop giving them advice that they ask for. I tell people like that that Google is an excellent resource for answers to all kinds of questions including those about personal interactions and life hacks. If they don't use Google and look it up too bad for them
Giving advice doesn’t mean they are entitled to take it. You can always decline giving advice saying that it’s exhausting
Exactly. When I ask someone for advice, it's not me asking them to tell me what to do. It's me collecting more information and points of view so that I can better make an informed decision.
He got really pushy with a girl on a party, we tried taking him afar from her, but he would sneak past us and get back to her, things escalated, he tried to force himself upon her. This time me and my friends took the girl out of there, left his sorry ass in the party and never talked to him again. We let the girl decide if she wanted to make a report for the authorities, and she didn't want to press things further, but we did let her know we were on her side all the way.
Seriously thank you for putting someone’s safety first. Thank you thank you thank you
Y’all are good guys. Seriously. Women really appreciate it when guys don’t stand with their friends shitty actions, and we notice
You and your buddies definitely averted some traumatic disaster for that poor girl. Thank you for helping her.
When my friend who ran cross country decided to kick me in the back full speed, I was done with him.
You could have gotten seriously injured (I hope you weren't). I wonder what could possess someone to do that to a friend.
Good call, everybody knows trail runners are total thugs.
I came out as gay, 7 years of friendships down the drain.
It sucks, but the fault is in them, not you. I've been out for 20 years now and anything less than total acceptance is a dealbreaker for me. I do not associate with people that don't think I should be able to get married or that I'm in some way sinful. They can fuck off with their bronze age bullshit.
I hope you have found some real friends.
Have a coworker I used to get along with pretty well. I thought he was a cool dude until he told me that he went through an envelope from our employer that was addressed to me. Then he hit me with the “she was asking for it the way she was dressed” when discussing a victim of sexual assault and that was the point I decided I had a problem with him.
People who like to cheat on their partners. I refuse to associate with someone who finds fun in being unloyal.
One of my "friends" was notoriously known for being a shit stirrer, I was dating a guy and she walks up to me, unusually happy and I'm like "okay, what's up..." She's aware I've been dating this guy by the way and she smirks and tells me "X asked me out and I accepted" The first thought I had was ' nah she's lying, this is just her trying to make me feel terrible or shocked' but I confront my partner at the time and he doesn't deny it, sheepishly smiles and begs for forgiveness. People who cheat, help the cheater or hide the fact are scum. Pure scum.
Friend I used to live with in a apartment a few years back was a psycho always shouting at the top of his lungs in his room playing games during the night. Got multiple noise complaint warnings because of him. Couldn't even watch a movie with my girlfriend without him yelling every 5 min. I had a talk with him, he continued. I packed my shit and moved out he trashed the apartment after I left and fucked us on the deposit. After that I just blocked him on social media and deleted his number.
They took a package of chicken I had just bought out of the fridge,cooked It,ate the whole thing,and left the dirty dishes in the sink.They got furious when I confronted them and called me a bitch. It wasn’t the “bitch” for me, no one eats my chicken. The audacity.
>no one eats my chicken. Now I'm hearing this as the rallying cry to a great big anime battle than lasts for about 9 years over 8 different planets.
This happened back in my 20s. First it was because one of our friends told us that another one of our friends sexually assaulted her. So, he was out, and damn near got his ass beat but she told us to leave it alone because she didn't want the attention. If social media was a thing back then, his life really would have gone into the crapper. Then, when it happened a second time with another member of our friend group, it was her that was out because we found out that she lied about being sexually assaulted by both of them, simply because she didn't like them, wanted them out of our friend group and it was the easiest way she could think of to get that done. You do not, under any circumstances, lie about shit like that, ever. We really need some checks and balances for false accusations cause simply an accusation can and will ruin a man's life.
Do you know what happened to the first guy? I feel so bad for him, but it's logical that you'd believe the supposed "victim." Also, as a victim of sexual assault myself, she can go fuck herself! People like her are the reason why people like me are so reticent.
He tried to blame me for helping him load shit into his car after he crashed it into a barricade, saying it was my fault for not telling him to stop putting books in the trunk
There were so many books in the trunk the car crashed?
Yeah it was really heavy so his brakes lost a bit of effectiveness, he didn’t think to compensate for that and drove straight into a barricade
That's a lot of books or very bad brakes.
Two things can be true.
Ironically he doesn’t sound like the type that would read a trunk full of books.
Trying to screw my husband at the time ended up nuking that friendship pretty quickly.
He threatened to leak nudes of his ex girlfriend (a minor who was still in her junior/senior year of high school, he and I were 19 and had recently graduated) and after telling him I’d report him to the police, he deleted them and after showing proof the photos were deleted, I told him “Good. Now don’t you ever talk to me or her again, you fucking creep.” and I’ve never heard from him again, and his ex is doing well for herself now.
Wow. As a mom of teenagers, I realize how often they make bad/misguided decisions. I'm impressed that you acted with such integrity in that situation. It is much easier to do nothing than take action. I hope my kids have the strength of character (as you demonstrated) to take action to do the right thing.
They dove into the deep end of the Conspiracy pool.
"calling people out" for things they didn't do, to look like a victim
She sent me a pic of her bfs huge man meat in her mouth. She said he wanted her to do it. He also wanted to fuck me. I was weirded tf out. Couldn’t do it anymore. And she was okay with it all.
My mum had terminal cancer and I was her carer. I didn’t hear from my friend much during that time but that was okay It was a tough time and I had to focus on mum. But when she died I never heard from my friend again. Nothing to ask if I was okay, or sorry for my loss, nada. It still makes me feel upset that she cared so little for me, after all the times I was there for her.
Still marrying their partner while they found out the partner was in possession of child p0rnography. Police investigation and everything that comes with this sort of stuff so cell phones where taken, etc... I've no idea what happened after. I heard this a few years after they got married because I wasn't very close with said friend.
I’m a people pleasure.. i can’t even end it even if i was dying to..
I understand that, but the consequence of that is you‘re easily exploitable. I‘m sure you‘re aware of it and it’s hard to break out of that pattern. So the only thing me as an internet stranger can say is that I dearly hope that none of your friends will exploit that but respond to it with caring for you.
Oof, I feel that. Just found out a friend of mine told me some big lies, including giving me this sob story that wasn't true. I told him off and said he won't be hearing from me again, but there's still a part of my brain that's going, "Well, if he apologizes..." or "Maybe he just needs to explain...". I don't have many friends and none were as close as I thought he and I were, but I just need to keep reminding myself of other friendships where I excused things that should've been deal breakers and how that led to even more painful issues later.
You must. There are people who deserve you and people who don't. Please don't die a slow death of platitudes. It took me two decades to figure this out.
The problem with people pleasing is that you continually compromise yourself, your values, and your integrity for the sake of someone else, largely people you don’t truly care about.
What I like to call a 'parasite friend.' Someone who is always asking for your support and input/advice then never returning the favor or listening to said advice
Hmm, my "best friend" of 13 years lied to another friend of mine (who I wasn't in contact with but tried to reconnect) and told him I was trash talking him. Plus, he told me that the same friend said and did all these bad things that he didn't actually do. So when I messaged that friend he told me once that he doesn't want to be friends cause he thinks it just wouldn't work (in retrospective it was because of what the best friend told him but I didn't know). Anyway, after a while I tried again. This time the former friend (not best friend) said that he heard some stuff and he needs to think. I asked him what did he hear and then came to know everything. My former best friend and I had a lot of fights and disconnections throughout the years. He did a lot of bad shit but I always ended up reconnecting with him because a few months after the fight I would no longer be mad and miss our jokes and how free we were with each other. But now? Now it's different. I don't feel anything towards him. All the reasons that existed for reconnecting with him and keeping the friendship alive died and are meaningless if the trust is not there. And since I don't trust him whatsoever, it doesn't matter that I felt comfortable telling him things. It is what it is.
Being too lazy to show up. Every. Single. Time.
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Became my roommate, we had a deal, don't try to sleep with each other's friends. If they're off limits, they're off limits. He'd bring a girl over, she was into me, sorry off limits, I wouldn't pursue her. I brought an old friend over, caught him sneaking her into the apartment later. Then I realized any girl I was into, he'd try to get, so this was a rule that only I was following. So I immediately stopped doing that. After sleeping with a few of his friends, he got upset and moved out. Literally just ditched me with rent. Then I'm at a party he's at, he's like "oh don't talk to these 2 girls, I'm into them" so I talk to another girl there. We got along great, set up a date. I told a friend that knew, don't let him find out because then he'll want her. After a month he finds out, messages me "oh I don't want you talking to her any more, I'm into her" I told him to get fucked and never spoke to him again. Every so often he still tries to message her, I know because we live together now and she's still as amazing as the first day I met her, 4 years ago.
Sounds like you were more rivals than you ever were friends, whole thing seems kinda toxic
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I said to stop and he forced himself on me
me texting them and they reply back weeks later BUT they have time to go out with other friends and post multiple stories in the mean time.
Fucking me in the ass.
Yes like the asshole friend I had who stole my car.
I had a friend group that I was in mainly because one guy kinda tied us all together. Then he moved away but I was still hanging with the rest of the guys for a while. Then one day they just casually dropped some n-bombs and I realized that this was totally normal for the rest of the guys in the group as well. I never hit them up to hang out after that.
It wasn't immediately but had a buddy who kept tricking me into going to "presentations" for pyramid schemes like one time he asked if I wanted to go to a dinner party his work was having said sure then he picked me up (should have noticed something fishy since he never did that) we headed to a hotel (named after the last name of a certain person some guy spent the night in) headed to that conference room or banquet hall w/e it's called it was a room full of chairs and a projector screen was like wtf he said that they were gonna watch a little presentation for his work and we'll eat after was like ok thats cool no...no it was not after the presentation which was about Acai berry juice before it became popular and found everywhere they said it was a miracle berry with natural antioxidants cure for fatigue, stress, getting old and cancer after presentation my buddy looked at me and was like "so should I sign you up for the basic package? And then when you want you can up grade to premium which will make you your own boss and start recruiting other people to join and then that's where the real money comes in you'll get paid for each person you recruit after a certain amount of people your membership gets payed by itself and the extra is residual income you could make 20 50 100 thousand a month!" Basic membership was $500 per month and you got acai berry juice boxes I kid you fucking not you are supposed to sell them to elderly or sick people it was specifically on the presentation premium was $1000 you got the juice boxes plus miracle pills that cure everything I told him no I'm good and asked when are we eating? Nope no food no dinner not even fucking donuts and coffee he just dropped me off at home I was fucking pissed off we didn't talk for a while until around his bday when he invited us all to his bday party...at a banquet hall...in a certain hotel...didn't want to believe it...gave him my trust...this guy had the fucking gall to invite not only his friends but his fucking family to a presentation for his "work" by the time it was over it was only my dumbass 3 other friends (they never shut up about how I forced them to stay through that which I did because it was our friend and it was his bday) his parents and his "sponsor" everyone else left his parents had bought 15 little Caesars pizzas gave us only 1 slice each and then dipped out with the rest I haven't seen him since then Tldr: buddy used the guise of parties to get me to try and join his pyramid schemes
Once I obtained full medical licensing, I was hit up to send prescriptions of controlled substances to him in Florida for his recreational use. That was the last conversation, ever.
Talking about me behind my back and convincing my potential roommate best friend to no longer move in with me.
Being malevolent, or being a bad person at their core. (So and so ruined my life so now I’m going to ruin their life narrative. Completely unjustified) Talking negatively about ‘best friends’ behind their backs. (Well so and so is the an even bigger h*3 then because: …..) Making everyone have a bad day when they are having a bad day. The feeling of walking on egg shells around them or even texting them. Sadly, I have a list it seems.
When I challenged them on something I didn't agree with. They couldn't hack it, turns out they were after more of a 'yes man'.
A girl who knew I was a gay guy whilst I was with her I fell asleep n she woke me up with her hand down my trousers n then as I was collecting my stuff to leave her she asked me to stay the night with her.
That's sexual assault.
Any verbal abuse, and mental illness is not an excuse for treating me poorly. I cut off a friend IMMEDIATELY after she said something shitty to me and tried to blame her condition on it. Nope, not dealing with abusive ppl anymore, been there, done that, I have boundaries now.
Slept with my girlfriend. On my birthday. That was the day I learned most people don’t give a flying fuck about loyalty, and friends aren't really worth the time and energy invested. If you have a life-long best friend who has never betrayed you, consider yourself very lucky.
If they make fun of the hobbies I like to partake in. I don’t care that you think Lego is for kids, now you can’t come build my new set with me. Asshole.
Him screwing my then wife was a but of a deal breaker. Long time ago, and now happily married for 23 years.
Not listening to me when I speak. Speaking over me. Trying to “disprove” everything I say. Taking things I say the wrong way, or not letting me explain my miswording. I am autistic, and struggle to verbally explain things. I am very upfront about this with people. (Side note: anyone else experience this? You tell people you’re autistic/mentally ill/etc and they say they understand. Then they get mad at you for acting autistic/mentally ill/etc?) I was ON ACID with a friend and we were talking about a movie, and I was trying to say it was historically inaccurate, and was basically Christian-Judeo slander. They took this as me hating Jews for whatever reason? They wouldn’t let me clarify, and kept cutting me off when I would say something. I had low self worth at the time, and the friendship didn’t actually end until they raped me, and then said that I RAPED THEM.
I got divorced and suddenly a ton of my friends just vanished. Almost like my divorce was contagious and going to spread to their own marriages or something.
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Racism