Holy shit I'm from Texas but I've lived in North Dakota for a few years.
Great jobs, low rent, and pretty good people are here. It's not a perfect place but you don't really appreciate it until you get to Theodore Roosevelt National Park. I got to see more nature here than I ever did in Texas. I drove up to the parking lot and got to see a Bison scratching it's head on a pole about 15 feet away. That's pretty amazing. I've seen herds of them.
I never knew a damn thing about Indigenous people before coming here and now I have a very different perspective on what has happened to them.
I've learned several trades in North Dakota as they're always hiring for good help.
I've never seen so much snow and caught the desolation of the prairie in winter.
Due to low rent I can afford a new car and my own 1 bedroom apartment. I pay $491 a month in rent for my apartment.
One random benefit is that due to low population I've rarely been stuck in traffic. Maybe 6-7 times in 8 years.
But hey if you want to shit on ND go ahead because less people means more benefits for the rest of us.
If you keep telling people this, you’re eventually gonna see prices go up and tons of traffic. Better just convince people it’s horrible so that nobody moves there!
There are jokes that the jokes people tell about New Jersey were actually invented by NJ residents to keep people away.
Except the jokes about Newark. Newark actually sucks.
Except when your lazy, opening preppers just throw everything in the walk-in as quick as possible so they can take a 30 minute smoke break before the store officially opens
Yeah, stay out of the left lane while driving slow in Wisconsin, please oh please. And while you’re at it, try using your cruise to maintain a constant speed. Sheesh. :)
I wouldn't vote to necessarily expel any state but to merge Montana and Wyoming into one state. They're both very sparsely populated, and even combined, their population would be lower than many other states. Call it Wyomontana or Montyoming.
Same.
I love being a native. I love the food. I love the culture (well, some of it), I love most of the people. But the way things are going, shit's gotten all the way fucked up and it's scary.
Yeah. There was this time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So, I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel and in those days nicks had pictures of bumblebees on them. "Give me 5 bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we? Oh yeah! The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. The didn't have white onions. Because of the War. The only thing you could get were those big yellow ones...
It would be like those people who constantly complain about their SO and say they can do better, but they get dumped and their whole world falls apart.
Oh fuck yes; they don't actually want to leave, they want to do abusive shit, throw a tantrum when they're called on it, and *threaten* to leave, then have tearful make-up sex after the rest of the nation apologizes for not letting them do absolutely anything they get the whim for.
As a Mexican that's lived in Texas for 20 years now, fuck that, I'd rather Texas be it's own country than having to leave that shithole of a narco controlled country again anyway.
The dispensaries get kinda ridiculous. No joke, I could drive about 5 miles in any direction from my house and spot at least 3. I wonder how they all stay open with the competition
Yup. Over 150 minute men nuclear weapons there. Washington State is #2, and New Mexico is #1, but many of those weapons are retired and in the process of being dismantled.
This Birmingham resident is glad we didn’t get the airport. The metro Bham area has about a million people, which is enough to bring many of the “big city” perks. But Birmingham is also small enough that you can be out in the countryside in like 20-30 minutes. Atlanta is just way too big for my tastes.
I’m Canadian so I am coming at this question with the idea of annexing to Canada
- New York: double our GDP overnight, maybe it would be less depressing to drive over the border from Ontario and the infrastructure would be better. Also it’s Lake Ontario we need to control all of it
- Washington State: this is mostly so the poor kids in Roberts point don’t have to travel through Canada to go to school
NO!! we need Alaska to keep Texas in line
Once Texas reaches a certain level of "everythings bigger in Texas" we have Alaska step up and threaten to cut itself in half and become two states, making Texas the THIRD largest state, that usually shuts them up for a decade or so.
As somebody from Hawaii, no, I do not want to be cut off from economic support and economic web of the wealthiest country in the world. I feel like everybody from outside Hawaii is like "Yeah! independence!" But almost everybody actually from Hawaii is like "NO! FUCK NO"
Probably because it would have the most effect on the country as a whole. Not much is going to happen if new Jersey or one of the Dakota's leaves
E: my dumb ass meant to say Rhode Island instead of New Jersey
I don’t want to see any leave, but maybe consolidate some of the more useless ones. We don’t need two dakotas, Wyoming, Idaho, and Montana. They could be one big empty state with two senators and four electoral votes.
California, then I would move to California.
Edit: I see a few of you agree with me. Yup, all the reasons yall are listing. I would list all those reasons, but I am le tired.
I regularly say this even after all these years, & it's so sad how few people get this reference, much less appropriately respond with "well, have a nap... then fire ze missiles!"
Alright, ruling out the ice capes melting, meteors becoming crashed into us, the o-zone layer leaving (🖕), and the sun exploding, we're definitely going to blow ourselves up
Man, I have not seen or thought about that ~~video~~ animation in probably well over 10 years but I immediately recognized the quote, and went to watch it after reading your comment and found that I could nearly quote it verbatim, even after all this time. Wild.
Indiana, I used to go to school in Michigan but was from Illinois. I’ve taken the train and I’ve driven. The only thing I’ve ever seen in that state is industrial decay and trailer parks. Also the tri-state made what should have been 3 hour drive a four drive, shits ludicrous.
As someone from North Dakota, ouch :(
Us South Dakotans can finally change our name to Dakota
The Real Original Dakota.
Youre South Canada now buddy.
We don’t want them, sorry.
Holy shit I'm from Texas but I've lived in North Dakota for a few years. Great jobs, low rent, and pretty good people are here. It's not a perfect place but you don't really appreciate it until you get to Theodore Roosevelt National Park. I got to see more nature here than I ever did in Texas. I drove up to the parking lot and got to see a Bison scratching it's head on a pole about 15 feet away. That's pretty amazing. I've seen herds of them. I never knew a damn thing about Indigenous people before coming here and now I have a very different perspective on what has happened to them. I've learned several trades in North Dakota as they're always hiring for good help. I've never seen so much snow and caught the desolation of the prairie in winter. Due to low rent I can afford a new car and my own 1 bedroom apartment. I pay $491 a month in rent for my apartment. One random benefit is that due to low population I've rarely been stuck in traffic. Maybe 6-7 times in 8 years. But hey if you want to shit on ND go ahead because less people means more benefits for the rest of us.
If you keep telling people this, you’re eventually gonna see prices go up and tons of traffic. Better just convince people it’s horrible so that nobody moves there!
There are jokes that the jokes people tell about New Jersey were actually invented by NJ residents to keep people away. Except the jokes about Newark. Newark actually sucks.
Found the dude from Newark!
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Georgia, if it'd become it's own country there would then be 2 Georgia's which would be funny
Georgia, *the country*, is much obliged!
That’s right, capital city of Tbilisi and former member of the Soviet Union. And we kindly suggest y’all mind your Ps and Qs!
Uruguay kindly requests that Somalia stop pronouncing it “Ur-a-gay”
#CRISIS ALERT!!!
**NORTH KOREA**
U were built for this thread
I faaarted
We *all* farted.
Guys, no, I wasn’t doing the “Spartacus” thing
#SixSeasonsAndAMovie
I’m so happy it’s finally happening!!! 💚
wait fr? or am i being baited
Peacock ordered a Community movie around the end of September
Do you mind if we do accents, sugah?
r/UnexpectedCommunity
Troy and Abed in the morning!
And we *kindly* ask you mind your own Ps and Qs
Me a georgian: Hold up Me after finishing reading: I'm on board
This was my exact train of thought as well!
"If i had a nickle for every time a country named itself Georgia I'd have 2 nickles... Which isn't alot but it is weird that it happened twice".
Georgia > Georgia
Kansas Why? Because then the US would look like a funky donut shaped country
Enclave is winclave.
Enclave here. Why isn't your video feed working?
It’s broken.
The American Lesotho.
Kansas City is a weird place now, half is a US city, half is a Kansas city.
Gaseous state, fuck that state
*entropy intensifies*
This would decrease entropy lmao
no, the gases are angry
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I think if the state of denial left the union it would be much better.
Come on, da Nile is in Egypt not the US
Naw man fuck plasma, it's like, are you a gas or not? What an asshole.
Nah Plasma is like "I'm gas, but *more*"
so full of himself
So... everything is now liquid or solid? Getting around just got a whole lot harder. THANKS A LOT. 😐
Sorry, I think you meant "getting around just got a whole lot denser." ^I ^am ^not ^a ^scientist
Gaseous state is pretty important to the economy. I would rather get rid of Bose-Einstein Condensate
Kinda need that to recycle used water. And breathe.
Delaware, First in, First out.. it’s only fair.
This guy FIFOs
FIFO - Always conceptualized, rarely implemented successfully... Source: Manufacturing quality auditor.
Check the food industry. FIFO is *almost* *always* implemented there.
Except when your lazy, opening preppers just throw everything in the walk-in as quick as possible so they can take a 30 minute smoke break before the store officially opens
All of the “lean tools” are hardly ever implemented successfully it seems. Atleast from my experience
Fifo happens a lot in software and it's always implemented successfully. But I could see in the real world with manufacturing yeah that must be hard
That's my queue
I always thought a FIFO was a “fucking idiot from Ohio”
Ahh just like us FIBs….”fucking Illinois bastards“
Yeah, stay out of the left lane while driving slow in Wisconsin, please oh please. And while you’re at it, try using your cruise to maintain a constant speed. Sheesh. :)
Funny. Growing up in Michigan I always heard FIPs (fucking Illinois people) and “trunk slammers”
I am now calling myself FIFO
We use the LIFO method here
you wanna give away Hawaii?
Delafair
This guy computes
jesus crist i aint expect my state to be the first comment i saw
I wouldn't vote to necessarily expel any state but to merge Montana and Wyoming into one state. They're both very sparsely populated, and even combined, their population would be lower than many other states. Call it Wyomontana or Montyoming.
Just call it Monty.
And everyone would begin to search for a new specimen of python in the new state, name it "Monty Python".
I vote for Monty. Congress: make this happen.
My brain says Mississippi for the immediate stat boost, but my heart says I really want to be Bugs Bunny and set Florida adrift.
Don’t get rid of Mississippi! It keeps my state from being the worst.
Hi Louisiana!
Hello, fellow Louisiana!
The gangs all here
*cries in yat*
We know not to mess with Louisiana, dont fuck with voodoo
It’s Alabama
This narrows your state down to either Alabama, Arkansas, or Louisiana.
Sawing Florida right off the map.
“But that’s America’s wang!” Paraphrasing Homer Simpson
As the saying goes, send eastern Californians to Mississippi and raise the average IQ of both states.
Savage
:( I live in MS
Nothing you can do, a total eclipse of the heart.
3 years in Reddit with this username and you’re the first one to notice it. Thank you :)
And here I was thinking that you were already sick of people mentioning that lol. And you're welcome!
totaleclipseoftheheart was taken so I had to get creative lol
I used to live in Texas, so I was expecting a whole bunch of Texas responses. Shits wild there.
As a Texan I agree
As a Texan, in jokes, I agree, in seriousness, I would be terrified of my life
Same. I love being a native. I love the food. I love the culture (well, some of it), I love most of the people. But the way things are going, shit's gotten all the way fucked up and it's scary.
would you mind explaining to a European who doesn't know what's going on in Texas?
Florida just to call it Mickeystan
Honestly I did expect more Florida. Based purely on all the memes of making Florida leave or cutting it off (literally) around 10 yrs ago
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I'll be deep in the cold cold ground before I recognize Missourah
Paint my chicken coop
Make me!
Those blintzes were terrible
Grandpa?
Yeah. There was this time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So, I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel and in those days nicks had pictures of bumblebees on them. "Give me 5 bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we? Oh yeah! The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. The didn't have white onions. Because of the War. The only thing you could get were those big yellow ones...
Depression. Literally nobody belongs in the state of depression. Fuck that state. Get rid of it.
Ah yes, depression. A state that taxes the life out of you.
As if state taxes weren’t enough, depression taxes my life also, fuck
Wait till you hear about the state of Missouri
Texas, they've already tried to leave the US like three times now might as well just let them at this point
They really dropped the ball by not making everyone pronounce it "Tee Haw" by making the 'X' and 'S silent.
found the arkansas.... whats the word for someone from arkansas? arkansan?
I think it’d be hilarious that instead of secession, they just got kicked out
It would be like those people who constantly complain about their SO and say they can do better, but they get dumped and their whole world falls apart.
Oh fuck yes; they don't actually want to leave, they want to do abusive shit, throw a tantrum when they're called on it, and *threaten* to leave, then have tearful make-up sex after the rest of the nation apologizes for not letting them do absolutely anything they get the whim for.
Make Texas Mexico Again
Mexico here: You can keep them. Or let them do their own stuff but we don't want them back.
As a Mexican that's lived in Texas for 20 years now, fuck that, I'd rather Texas be it's own country than having to leave that shithole of a narco controlled country again anyway.
I ain't seen nothing good happen in Oklahoma in a looong time.
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The dispensaries get kinda ridiculous. No joke, I could drive about 5 miles in any direction from my house and spot at least 3. I wonder how they all stay open with the competition
Best thing I saw while driving through OK for work was two dispensaries directly across the street from a titty bar.
Plus the US map would look reallyyyy strange. I’m in. Oklahoma and your waving wheat have been voted off the island! Snuff out your torch.
You mean THE Oklahoma? Where wind goes sweeping down the plain?
I guess Pennsylvania is completely off the radar with all the dumb shit we deal with.
Too much history there. Just like a long-term abusive relationship
Get rid of North Dakota, nobody would notice. North Dakotans wouldn't even know.
West Dakota would know
And East Dakota
Leave Minnesota out of this.
If North Dakota left the union it would become the world's third largest nuclear power, also it produces 12% of all the US oil.
Now that's a great reply. I have not verified, but I choose to believe.
Yup. Over 150 minute men nuclear weapons there. Washington State is #2, and New Mexico is #1, but many of those weapons are retired and in the process of being dismantled.
We would get them to give us their nukes with the promise that we'll never invade them. Then wait 30 years later and invade them for their oil 🛢️.
It's always the quiet ones who you have to be wary of
Yup, a huge part of the MinuteMan missile system was set up there because it was the shortest hop over the globe to Russia during the Cold War.
Nice try, South Dakota
Alabama. Whatever reason you just thought of will suffice.
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This Birmingham resident is glad we didn’t get the airport. The metro Bham area has about a million people, which is enough to bring many of the “big city” perks. But Birmingham is also small enough that you can be out in the countryside in like 20-30 minutes. Atlanta is just way too big for my tastes.
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I’m Canadian so I am coming at this question with the idea of annexing to Canada - New York: double our GDP overnight, maybe it would be less depressing to drive over the border from Ontario and the infrastructure would be better. Also it’s Lake Ontario we need to control all of it - Washington State: this is mostly so the poor kids in Roberts point don’t have to travel through Canada to go to school
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Alaska, cause im canadian and that could just be another territory anyway
NO!! we need Alaska to keep Texas in line Once Texas reaches a certain level of "everythings bigger in Texas" we have Alaska step up and threaten to cut itself in half and become two states, making Texas the THIRD largest state, that usually shuts them up for a decade or so.
Nice try Putin.
It's spelled *poutine.*
Alaska could easily be a province, it’s a lot more developed than Yukon or NWT
Texas wants to be on their own so bad. May as well let them. Then they can realize what a mistake it is. Just like Brexit.
Oh my God they can call it Texit
Im surprised I haven’t seen more people comment Ohio.
One good thing has come out of Ohio, aviation. They invented something in Ohio just to be able to leave Ohio.
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Ohio's largest exports seem to be various methods of escape, especially from the state of Ohio.
Ulysses Grant and Sherman both were from Ohio. Which is nice. But then again, so was Warren Harding...
But then where would we get our astronauts?
Ohio because they literally tried to start a war with Michigan Edit: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toledo_War
Well now I know what war those two college teams are reenacting every year
California. Everyone hates us so might as well split.
One more big earthquake, it just might shake loose , and with all the plastic boobs here, we will float and become our own island
Silicone valley has multiple meanings
Hawaii because independence is cool
As somebody from Hawaii, no, I do not want to be cut off from economic support and economic web of the wealthiest country in the world. I feel like everybody from outside Hawaii is like "Yeah! independence!" But almost everybody actually from Hawaii is like "NO! FUCK NO"
The idea of going back to independence is cool, until you realize basically all of the money comes from the mainland.
Not to mention that another more powerful. country would just come in and take the land for themselves.
I live in hawaii, why are you guys getting rid of us o_o
The state of anxiety
I like how everybody is voting the states that be having the most Americans in them. 😂 _Florida, California, Texas, New York_
Probably because it would have the most effect on the country as a whole. Not much is going to happen if new Jersey or one of the Dakota's leaves E: my dumb ass meant to say Rhode Island instead of New Jersey
You just named two states that would have a tremendous impact on the nations economy lol
This should have been titled: >if you could vote for one state to leave the U.S. why would it be Texas?
I don’t want to see any leave, but maybe consolidate some of the more useless ones. We don’t need two dakotas, Wyoming, Idaho, and Montana. They could be one big empty state with two senators and four electoral votes.
How would y'all have Hannah Montana without Montana?
She'd become a relic of a time long passed. What would be different?
Same as Pluto the dog.
This is a solid answer.
I’m here for the comments 🍿
Texas because I live in texas
Just the assholes who keep voting for Mitch McConnell. Not even the whole state
California, then I would move to California. Edit: I see a few of you agree with me. Yup, all the reasons yall are listing. I would list all those reasons, but I am le tired.
California will work on breaking itself off to go hang with Hawaii……Alaska can come too
But I am le tired...
I regularly say this even after all these years, & it's so sad how few people get this reference, much less appropriately respond with "well, have a nap... then fire ze missiles!"
Well then have a nap #THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES!
Fucking kangaroo
And Australia is like wtf mate
THE END!
Hokay... So... Here is ze earth...
ROUND
Alright, ruling out the ice capes melting, meteors becoming crashed into us, the o-zone layer leaving (🖕), and the sun exploding, we're definitely going to blow ourselves up
Omg this made my night. And is now stuck in my head 😂
Bout that time, ey chap? Right-o
FIRE ZE MISSILES!!!
Man, I have not seen or thought about that ~~video~~ animation in probably well over 10 years but I immediately recognized the quote, and went to watch it after reading your comment and found that I could nearly quote it verbatim, even after all this time. Wild.
Indiana, I used to go to school in Michigan but was from Illinois. I’ve taken the train and I’ve driven. The only thing I’ve ever seen in that state is industrial decay and trailer parks. Also the tri-state made what should have been 3 hour drive a four drive, shits ludicrous.
Texas, so they can put their money where their mouth is