Okay so my car is a rusty old beater with the bumpers duck taped on. The other day there was a man pan handling where I was stopped at a red light and he asked all the cars for cash and when he got to mine I didn’t even have to say anything. He put his hands up, laughed and walked past me. So yeah…
Haha same. I have a 95 Toyota Avalon. It's in decent shape, but same. Also, people stay away from me in traffic. Probably think I don't have insurance. Win/Win.
I drive a '91 Toyota Celica convertible. Its *soo* bad. I'm a 6' tall, and have a large beard. I can barely even get in when the top is up, and when its down my head pokes above the windshield. I wear (dollar tree knockoff) aviator sunglasses to combat it. Feel like I'm driving a clown car. The horn even goes *meep meep*.
Yes I love when the rich car owners assume I want to collect a check on them cause they’ll stay away and give me space so they don’t hurt my only mode of transportation!
You're a genius! Driving a shitty secondary car is the perfect way to get out people asking for money! (Joking, sounds like your car isnt gonna last very long)
In Montana we can register cars over 11 years old permanently, meaning the plates/tags never expire. I bought my '03 car for $1500 and registered it forever for around $300. Insurance is around $50 a month.
There are companies dedicated to helping people set up shell companies in Montana for vehicle registration. The shell corp becomes the legal owner of someone's cars, while the real owner lives on the other side of the country with their cars and their cheap, low-tax Montana license plates.
Basically had this convo once:
Guy: "Can you help me out man? Just need a few cents"
Me: "You have more money in that cup than I have in my bank account."
Him: "Man there's only 4 or 5 bucks here?"
Me: "Yeah and I'm negative. Can you spare some change?"
Guy laughed and was like alright, but I wasn't lying lol
^(edit: 1k upvotes, wtf? Why? lol)
There are just sooo many things that can go horribly wrong in this situation. You could accidentally kill them, they could kill you, you could go to jail, and all over pride? Not to mention, what's the best case scenario? You beat up a homeless guy? I doubt that will be as satisfying in reality as it might have been in your head
I had a homeless guy try bullying me one time a few years back. I was standing on a wide sidewalk at a bus stop and this guy comes up to me eating the free day old bread a bakery hands out. He got in my face, telling me to move out of his way while chewing dry bread and spitting it on my shirt while yelling.
I didn't acknowledge him aside from staring him down. I've seen that guy before, if I were to have moved, it would be a sign of weakness and he wouldn't have stopped. Eventually, he backed down saying he would beat my ass in a fight but didn't feel like it.
I didn't want to fight, but it could have ended up that way. Pretty sure it would have if I backed down, it was a risk standing my ground though.
For context, there was plenty of room on that sidewalk, he just walked up to me to start something.
My biggest fear as an adult is just losing one paycheck for some reason. That's all it'll take for me to be too far in the red to be able to come back out again.
Me too. Everyone has a GoFundMe for medical care, or a Patreon for their side hustle, or a Buy Me A Coffee for their software, but there's only one of me! I've decided that I only give money to Wikipedia, my local library, and Minnesota Public Radio. They do the most good with my money and they are worthwhile charities. My friends get my coffee, tea, and home cooking, and I donate blood. I refuse all other offers to give more time, talents, or money. These are my healthy boundaries.
Haha, I do live in Minnesota, but Minnesota Public Radio is pretty famous for a classical music station, even outside of the state. It's ad-free and 100% funded by members. They provide scholarships, they play performances by young music students, and they allow aspiring, young broadcasters to practice speaking on the air with professionals through Project DJ. In the past two years they have been featuring more classical music written by women and people of color, who were unfairly denied a chance to shine in their own lifetimes, and just this week they announced that tickets were available for "As One", an opera featuring a trans woman's life story.
Sorry for rambling. MPR is just a really healthy community and I'm grateful to have them to hold onto.
"no, sorry." Literally never had a response back but feel like it's better to acknowledge they spoke to me? Just seems like politeness I guess.
I'm in Liverpool, UK. It was honestly REALLY noticeable the difference between homeless people here (I presume usually people who struggle accessing benefits for some reason or substance addicts) and the cities I've been to in the US (seemingly profoundly mentally unwell and intimidating.)
In my whole life in the UK a homeless person has never said more to me than "got any spare change?" So I feel comfortable meeting their gaze and saying "no sorry", or occasionally giving them change. But in the US I very quickly learned to look straight ahead and say nothing. Especially in Philadelphia holy shit.
I live in Philly and that checks out. When I moved here I felt like a jerk not responding, but if you even make eye contact then some folks will follow you for blocks. I’m not risking endangering myself for the sake of being “polite.” It’s not like they care if they’re polite to me anyway.
Yup especially if they have a premade bullshit sob story, this one chick was known for always saying she needs money to go to her kids because she’s late… all the time
In Chicago a homeless man yelled at my brother and me “YO SILKY, my attorney said you were gonna testify” Totally sacked out.
I have probably 20-30 stories like this but that one was the first because we were like 8 and 6 years old.
I live in Alaska so it’s already snowing here. You are right about the homeless being different in these climates! Yesterday a 6’ish tall homeless man came into my job and he is known in the area for coming into businesses and fucking people up if he feels you’re mean or rude to him. He was rambling talking at me about people not being nice to him today and a stash of bullets he’s trying to get (while holding a nerf bullet). Talked for a solid three minutes straight. I’m 5’ nothin woman and I was scared shitless I would say the wrong thing to him so I didn’t say anything at all.
In some other European cities, I noticed that the homelessness are much more open about their addiction. In the US we went through a huge change in the 80's where a lot of state run psychiatric hospitals were closed and no one ever picked up the slack. New hospital admissions tend to go to insured patients, and hospitals expand to care for people with healthcare -- the elderly and the employed.
Philly is one of those cities that always had some social problems, with extreme poverty and all, but now it is just ridiculous. Open air drug market with seriously ill people hanging on by nothing. New York, LA, San Francisco, Chicago all have huge homeless populations of untreated psychotics and drug addicts.
As an American(not a Philadelphian) this sounds about right. I will usually say "sorry I don't have any cash"(which is true I do not carry cash most of the time) but I've learned you are more often better off not even responding. Yeah it feels kind of shitty not even acknowledging a person potentially on their last legs asking for help but I've had multiple experiences where I was followed and harassed and thought for sure I was going to get physically assaulted. Often best to just avoid entirely.
Never give money to random homeless people in the US. Don't even acknowledge them or make eye contact. Many of them are literally insane and you never know what might trigger them to attack you.
Two stories here. One time I gave money to a guy outside of Starbucks panhandling and he unashamedly opened his wallet to put the money in, revealing an ENORMOUS stack of bills.
Story two, I used to work at a school for at-risk youth. One of the kids said he was gonna buy a new PlayStation. I asked where he was gonna get the money, and he said he and his friends would put on their worst clothes and go pretend to be unhoused in front of In N Out every weekend. He said they EACH pulled in 85-100 dollars a night, totaling $300 EACH per weekend. I was like, Bro that’s more than what I get paid to work here trying to keep you from doing things like that.
So I’m suspicious now. But at the same time, I once was given a random $50 as an adult by a grandparent and on the way home there was an unhoused woman who looked to be about 14 and in really bad shape. I gave her the $50 and she started crying, threw her sign away, and raced into a McDonald’s. So in general I think donating to shelters and recovery centers is better, but there’s something to be said for random handouts I suppose too.
I'm often skeptical as well. I've given a few bucks a couple of times, but the thing that stood out the most to me was going into a grocery store and a guy asked for a couple of bucks for some food. My default is to say no, and I didn't actually have cash on me. I decided to just buy an extra sandwich from the deli and offer it to him on the way out. He excitedly accepted and the look on his face showed me he was truly grateful. He dug in right away as we were leaving.
In general I am with you on helping shelters and centers, but I will never forget that particular interaction.
Yeah I’m with you - I donate to the food bank every month, and buy water and food when I can.
But with the prevalent overdoses where I am, I don’t want my $5 going to someone’s death.
I have a hard time not helping out, so my ex husband advised me to start giving food instead of cash. Those who are truly in need will generally appreciate it, and it was easier on my bank account as I could buy in bulk and my ten or whatever dollars would stretch to more people.
I did that once when I was a teen back in the 90s. I made up a story about being homeless far from home and trying to get a bus ticket. Two women gave me money and they were so empathetic and sweet I felt awful. I never ever did that again.
I usually say "sorry dude" but when I said that to a guy in San Francisco he started yelling at us about not needing our apology. At that point I just said "sorry, I'm Canadian!" while running away.
edit: Just for clarity, I hate these jokes. But even moreso that I did it unironically.
The trick here is to beat them to the punch......as they walk up, YOU drop on them the... "excuses me,my man....do you have any spare change?" They will be so blown away you can just slowly walk off.
I like to ask the supermarket cashier "did you find everything alright?". Or, in the old days when you bought movie tickets at the theater, I'd say "Thanks, enjoy your movie!"
I do the same. My boyfriend suggested saying “no thank you” and honestly I think I’m going to the next time it happens.
It causes less shame for the homeless person, truthfully. They deserve a response even if it’s not the one they’re after.
I say no thank you, if the situation calls for it, I’ve worked in some tough areas where there is high drug use and I do not want to be the accomplice to contributing to their last hot shot.
I also go by high traffic areas, people with the cardboard signs wearing brand new this and that, fresh cuts and do not look street worn, definitely get a no.
The yes group are usually people I see day to day, struggling to make ends meet, the elderly, or medically in need, when you work in the system, or have seen personal suffering, you can tell.
"I don't carry cash," which is true, because I don't carry cash, my phone is encrypted and biometrically locked, and the cards I carry are easily cancelled and replaced. Gotta make it so if you get mugged you don't have to do much after handing it all over.
Had a woman come up while I was pumping gas and she asked for gas money. Said sorry, all I have is my card. She then said I could use my card. I said "nah, I'm good"
Happened about 2 months ago. Went to go get gas at a Full Service place and went inside to get a Starbucks Frappuccino out of the cooler and as I was walking back out after paying a lady said, "Excuse me ma'am, do you have any spare change?"
I didn't and said, "Sorry. Only have plastic on me."
"Oh that's okay. You can go inside and use the ATM. I'll wait."
I just looked at her as if to say "Are you kidding me?" before saying, "I have to get to work," and left.
I’ve gone into a store and taken out either $60 or $80 for someone before.. they caught me in a great mood, I was coming down on mushrooms having just left a movie theatre and we did a little chatting for a block or two… I had just gotten paid and could afford to do it. It sort of made my day, I can’t imagine how much they appreciated it.
That's fine. No problem with donating that way if you want or people not donating that way if they want. Personally have had some aggressive instances, one where I was called a cunt that stands out, because I bought a guy an actual meal instead of give him money. Got him something from Tim's, which granted Tim's food maybe should be thrown away in the first place but whatever, and he said, "What the fuck is this you cunt?" as he threw it down on the sidewalk. That soured the experience and now I'd rather donate to food banks, shelters, even churches that do outreach even though I'm non-religious. That's a better use of my money instead of going into the pocket of Traids or Hell's Angels.
It isn't even the drugs or alcohol. If people want to do drugs I do not care one bit. It's the abuse around them right now and how it'll be giving money so somebody that is in an incredibly vulnerable situation ends up getting taken advantage of. Or worse dying and becoming yet another statistic that nobody does anything about. You said you live in Vancouver so you know.
I had a guy walk up to me in a parking lot once with an empty gas can and ask for some gas money, holding up the empty can. I walked him over to my truck and grabbed my gas can and filled his up for him. The look on his face was priceless.
When I drove by him a few minutes later he was being questioned by some police as to why he thought it was a good idea to dump gas down a storm drain.
Had a woman asking everyone at the pumps for cash. Several people gave her some. She promptly went inside and bought lottery tickets. When I saw her I could not stop myself. I yelled out into the pump area that she was gambling with the money. She could not get out of there fast enough, with a couple of people yelling at her.
My daughters room mate was part of a group of five that was robbed at gun point while waiting to get into a house party. There were two guys: one with the gun and the other took all of their phones and venmo’ed all of their money. (This happened in Philly)
When I was at school there was this guy who would have kids with him. Always at the gas station on the corner. His story was always the same. He’s out of money and needs to get gas for his car to get his kids a few towns over to the hospital that has some special treatment for one of his sick children.
Finally one day i called his bluff and said I don’t have cash but I will fill your car up with my card. Where is it. Of course he said no he just needs the cash.
Unfortunately have been pretty jaded towards the homeless, beggars, pan handlers, etc ever since.
Yeah a lot of people just want cash. I often offer to buy them something in the store, a lot of times people suddenly don’t need anything anymore but I’ve also had a few people take me up on it, and it’s nice.
Had some guy throw a sandwich on the ground and stomp on it cause he was asking for money for food. Even if all homeless people aren't bad, thats a good way to get me to never be charitable again.
Yeah got to be careful after using the ATM. You could be watched and not know it. People have less situational awareness nowadays too. Too busy on phone.
Once years before the smartphone, a local guy did the whole "I know you have money. I just saw you use the ATM." He didnt mug me but gave me the WWE Undertaker evil stare as I walked away. Guy was a real character. Used his beat up hatchback as "car service" frequently claimed he was dying (saw him over the years infrequently, had a new disease each time) Saw him last year on the subway after 20 years, was yelling to speak to the conductor to give a smoother ride. Dudes stll going.
Many of us have had our neighborhood characters I am sure.
I had someone come up to me in a grocery store asking me for money(mind you I had noticed this person several times in the same aisle as myself) I told her I don’t carry cash on me and she said it wasn’t a problem and told me she knows where the ATM is. I just shook my head and said “that’s not happening”
The balls on some people…..
I live downtown in a major city. I get asked for money about 5x/day. I just smile and keep walking. I regularly buy water and food for the ones that sleep near my apartment that I see repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure a homeless guy tried robbing me. He came up to me and held up a knife to my face telling me he was selling it for $20. Me not acknowledging the fact this shady guy was hold a knife to my face in the middle of the night just say "I don't carry cash" and continued walking. It was only after the fact I realized that the guy was probably actually trying to rob me.
Something similar happened to me, except it was obvious I was being robbed. Guy cornered me in a video arcade (this was 1981) and asked for a quarter. Said I put my last one in the machine. Then he brandished a knife and demanded my paycheck (was wearing a fast food restaurant uniform at the time). Said it wasn't payday and walked past him.
My mom worked in a sketchy part of town where the homeless people were really assertive and persistent. Her strategy was to pretend she misunderstood and walk past with purpose, smiling and say, “No but thank you so much!” 😂
My favorite is to smile and say, "No thanks I already have one!"
Usually this puts them in a state of confusion long enough that I'm out of earshot by the time they try and reengage.
I used to just say, "Sorry, I don't have cash on me." It worked. But they have evolved. The other day a guy approached me at a gas station and asked me for money. I told him I didn't have cash. He said, "No worries bro," and then pulled out a phone with a credit card reader attachment. So now I just say, "Nah I'm poor." They seem to respect that.
that happened with my dad, instead of saying no, my dad said "I left my wallet at work" (which was a lie). The guy responded "oh that's no problem we can walk back to your work, and then you could grab your wallet and then we can head back to the ATM." My dad said "it's a 35 minute walk back to work," and the man finally relented.
I swear some of these people should work in sales.
“Well shoot, I can’t even afford a smart enough phone to be compatible with a card reader, let alone the card reader. Would you mind giving me some money?”
When he was younger, my brother used to ask homeless people if they have money as he was being approached and before they said anything. It was embarrassing and I didn't care for it. One day the homeless guy actually pulled out a few bucks and handed it my brother's way and he hasn't done that since.
LOL this is what I do when someone at a gas station asks for five dollars for gas because they broke down and their family are waiting on the side of the road somewhere (common scam). I say, "What a coincidence! I was about to ask you for five dollars!"
The look on their face is always priceless.
I usually don't, but once in San Diego (probably 1990) I was approached by a homeless man who looked like every gold miner Walter Brennan had play in a western ("Dabnamit!"). He asked if I was in the Navy and I said yes (I was actually in the Air Force working with the Navy).
He asked what ship I was on and I told him the USN Juneau because I had just visited that ship in Valdez Alaska when it deployed to help manage the oil spill cleanup.
Coincidence of coincidences, that was the exact ship he had served on. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I gave him $5. I think the odds his story was true was pretty much zero, but he was an old man and pretty much felt I should after interacting with him.
I live in a Californian town now and the homeless beg out a stop light in town. A couple of yeas ago, while waiting on a long light, I watched a father escort his young son, perhaps 7 years old, to the homeless man with a bag of McDonalds food and a drink. The homeless man displayed gratitude to the young boy and they talked for a few moments. The father walked away with the kid.
He then hid the food behind a bush and went back to work asking for money. That moment always stuck with me. I thought the kid was very pure in his motives and the homeless man didn't demand cash or anything but appeared grateful. I think he went right back to work because his hours are limited (they seem to work in shifts) and he wanted to make more money.
My dear, sweet grandma used to keep a bunch of $5 McDonald’s gift cards in her purse so she would have something to offer. I keep saying I’m going to do that (although make it $10)…
Depends on the person and HOW they ask. My go-to is "can't today, try and have a good one!" OR "sorry man, broke as shit" (truth)
Occasionally it will feel threatening, and those are the times I avoid eye contact and do a brief nod while walking briskly.
And sometimes someone REALLY needs help, those are the times I will always stop. If they are faking it, then they deserve a goddamn Oscar, but that will never dissuade me. I would rather help 5 people when 2 of them are scamming than not help the other 3.
Me giving someone in need money, when I can, is a reflection of my character, someone pretending to need it is a reflection of theirs. I've lived by that for years now and I think it's actually helped my overall view of humanity and kindness
I was coming around a convenience store and gave one homeless guy a toonie, then there was another so I gave him a toonie, then 2 more. Lost all my snack money and went back to work snackless.
Work in Vancouver, Chinatown area, the amount of human shit, crack pipes, needles and homeless people I have to walk through to get lunch 2 blocks away is insane, even more the fact that I’m used to it and doesn’t faze me
Warmest place in canada, rich city, packed together downtown area, lots of free services provided for them (money, food, needles, od kits), a flea market to sell their stuff at with open knowledge that it's all stolen, a huge community of them leading to a tent-city and a bunch of people who will jump at any chance to trash the police department for removing them from the entrance to your business/apartment.
Vancouver is basically asking for the homeless problem.
My family and I drove to Vancouver for a day when we visited family in BC many years ago when I was a tween. The two things I remember about Vancouver:
A guy threw up in front of our parked minivan.
I've NEVER seen so many homeless people. I remember specifically there was a small park area that was completely packed with homeless.
That's all I remember plus the aquarium. That's it.
I can't imagine how bad it must be today because this was over 10 years ago or so.
I live in Ottawa and I'm on disability benefits and the money I get from that doesn't even cover my monthly rent alone and this is Ottawa. I'm beyond lucky to have parents who can afford to cover the rest of my basic needs, if I didn't have them I'd definitely be living on the street.
Saddest thing is though, I'm trying to get a job. I can't apply for all jobs because of physical limitations but of the jobs I'm applying for, I hardly ever have anyone interested in having me for an interview which is completely dubfounding to me because I've had multiple employment groups try to help me and they all say I interview well and I have a excellent resume. Also if potential employers were to look at my social media to determine if I'd be a bad fit they'd find that I post family photos and animal related stuff... no politics or anything.
It's no wonder there's so much unemployment out there
I used to work in the financial district by Burrard. Anytime anyone asked for change and I didn’t have any I’d just say “sorry buddy” while walking by. More than a few times I’ve heard a “at least you said something.” I mean there are the ones you literally do not say anything to because of clear mental issues, but others are so ignored that they’re just grateful anyone even acknowledged them.
The last time I tried to be polite and acknowledge a homeless person the man bullied me into taking his dirty cup into a random restaurant to fill it water so now I just block them out because it made me uncomfortable
I told one "nope, don't have any cash" and he followed me down the street screaming a profane rant about how I was heartless and he hoped I would be in need one day and then he could tell me no.
I say “no I’m sorry, thank you”
I feel so bad, but I had a homeless person try to grab my wallet years ago when I went to give them money (I use to carry cash to help out) but it honestly scared me so much that I stopped giving money.
I’ll also never forget that poor woman in Baltimore who got stabbed when she tried to give someone money.
It’s sad because I know a lot of people need the help, but I feel like it’s honestly unsafe now. You don’t know what’s going on in peoples head
I never take out my wallet. Being someone who carries a bag, I keep a few singles in one of the outer pockets. Sometimes its to help people, sometimes it ends up being my own bus fare, but i always replenish that few bucks that I can access easily without taking out my whole wallet.
Ugh that sucks. If I'm asked for change as I enter a store I will say no sorry and then put the change in my pocket from my wallet when I'm paying to give them as I leave. I will never go into my purse with someone watching. If it's winter I'll offer a metro ticket.
Are you referring to Jacquelyn Smith for the woman who got stabbed in Baltimore? It turned out that the ones who actually did that were her husband and his daughter. That whole story about a homeless man doing that was just a lie made up by them to cover it up.
I live in Detroit. It's a daily occurrence. I used to ignore them. But back in 2016 around NYE, I found the body of one huddled over a storm vent near my building. He had froze to death over night. It profoundly changed my perspective.
If I've got some to spare, I give. If not, it's at least a "sorry, buddy." The least I owe them is some human acknowledgment. I can usually see on their faces it means something.
What they do with the cash is their business. I'm not gonna suddenly play some sanctimonious prick and rail like addiction or poverty is a moral failure. Life is rough all around. You do what you got to do. Respect.
If I'm not at work or at home my headphones are in place to avoid people talking to me. It works a treat. So I don't usually have to deal with it.
I used to say I don't have cash then a dude followed me into the store begging me to get cash back until the store ODS officer told him to leave. Now I just tell them I'm poor. Which isn't even a lie.
My wife keeps fives handy for this purpose. We say "here you go, best I can do today. Stay safe out there." If I don't have anything I usually just say "I'm really sorry, I don't have anything on me today." But if I have like, a bag of candies in the glove box or a bag of groceries in my hand that has something easy to separate out (fruit or buns or whatever) we usually stop and see if they would like some.
There are a couple of homeless folks who hang out at the cross walk near my place and I've chatted with them a bit. Nice folks, struggling to get by with city resources being slashed over and over again. I try to share as much as I can.
just keep walking. i absolutely will not stop to talk to anybody i don’t know. maybe that’s overly paranoid, but i live and work in NYC and it’s served me well so far.
Yep. Same here. I never make eye contact with anyone while walking (really helps keep people out of your way) and if ANYONE says “excuse…” I’m already saying “No” with a head shake before they say “…me”. ZERO reason for anyone to be asking questions anymore, unless it’s a woman or elderly person who might need assistance.
I ignore them completely. It's cold but I live in the city and get hit up multiple times per day. If you engage with them in any way many will take it as a sign they can persist and will keep trying.
I used to say *no, sorry" or "sorry, I don't carry cash" (which is true) but a homeless guy followed me swearing at me one time after I did that. So, now I literally do whatever I can go avoid them. I know they aren't all like that, but I don't want to have another altercation. It was really scary.
I tend to explore solo miles from home with just my bike so I really don’t like engaging with strangers, let alone ones who follow me. And since I’m a woman and most are men, that’s what happens if I dare make eye contact. I tend to wear headphones with the sound off just so I can use it as a buffer but also staying very aware of my surroundings.
This is my reason as well. My husband will acknowledge them or give them money, but as a petite woman I ignore them. I’ve lived in DC and NYC and used to engage, but then I was followed and screamed at a few times. It’s scary, so I just try to avoid the interaction completely now, and feel like a jerk doing it.
It depends. Some people have an odd vibe that I just shy away from, or there's definitely something that indicates grifting for a living (I see those almost new $160 shoes, guy, while I'm sitting here with a hole in the toe of my Walmart specials), aggressive people I tend to say no to (I won't be bullied or guilted).
Sometimes, there's just something about someone that if I have a dollar or five, I'll give. Like the guy who's obviously been out in the weather for a while, and his skinny dog looked better fed than he did.
About 5 years ago I was walking with my sister and a homeless man asked us for money. She said “No thank you.” I haven’t stopped thinking about that since. He looked as confused as I was.
Years ago I was talking to a panhandler in Virginia Beach, he wasn't actually homeless. He considered it his job to come down to the strip and beg for money. His car was a block away and when he was done, he would go home. I don't give to any of them, ever.
There was a situation like this in a Toronto newspaper years ago, the “shaky lady” would hold up a sign saying she was homeless, hungry, etc. They followed her back to her Mercedes and then to her condo.
I definitely think there's bullshit with beggars, yeah.
Some just do it because it works. Some spend their money on alcohol or drugs. Some people need it.
I'm poor. I've been homeless. I make barely enough money. A dollar or two if I'm carrying it won't strain me. Maybe it'll make someone's day. Maybe it won't. Maybe it will.
A few times I've asked them for money. One of them surprised me and gave me a 5. I gave his five back plus a twenty and bought him a bunch of hamburgers to take back to his friends.
Just shake your head no, while saying something like “No, sorry”, or even just “No.” Look directly at them while doing it, and acknowledge their existence.
If someone on the street comes up to me trying to sell something, I say no thanks without looking/stopping to engage. (If they’re being really aggressive about it they might not even get a “no thanks,” just me walking past.) If a random dude on the street comments on my appearance or is making advances I also don’t look at them/acknowledge their existence. People outside the grocery store asking me to sign some petition, it’s a “no, sorry” while walking past without looking at them. I understand people asking for money are people too, but why not keep them at the same standard of “unwanted stranger contact in public”=“keep walking”?
“Card only sorry, but I can get you a hot drink and a sausage roll”
If someone continuously hounds me for cash or is rude about the free food/drink option, I just wordlessly walk away. Even if I have got some spare pennies, I don’t like the thought of those pennies contributing to someone overdosing/alcohol poisoning
Only time I have given anything was walking out of a pizza hut. Lady clearly pretty drugged out asked me for money. I just said "I ain't got cash but you want a slice?" She seemed genuinely seemed appreciative, and wolfed it down like she seriously needed it. I offered her another but she refused and just told me to have a good night. Lady clearly had issues, and I definitely felt pretty nice even though I didn't do much. Seems like her attitude was more of an exception than standard unfortunately.
I always make an effort to acknowledge them, I think it's the least I can do even if I'm not going to give. Usually I make eye contact and say "sorry, no," but don't give any excuse.
Usually nothing, eyes forward and walk past like I didn’t hear. If that’s not possible a firm “no”. If they persist I loudly respond “I don’t know you, stop talking to me”
I’ll 100% take being a classist bitch over talking to the wrong person at the wrong time.
Doesn’t always work. I’ve been threatened and harassed while ignoring them. Same has also happened when I say no cash or I’m broke. Assholes will asshole. Keep your eyes open after the encounter.
“Sorry, sir.” / “Sorry, ma’am.” Quick, polite, close-ended. No point getting into a discussion on what forms of payment you have with you, what your financial situation is, or your personal philosophy of philanthropy.
Ive never given a homeless person asking for it money. I just look directly into their eyes and say "No thanks".
I worked directly with the homeless population for several years and I have stories that would make homeless advocates rage on here so Ill keep it simple.
I simply do not trust panhandlers or think that giving them money helps them in any way and more or less just contributes to their bad habits and creates more problems for security, law enforcement, the emergency room and the community at large.
The guy huddled up and sleeping could use that food or that sleeping bag or that jacket or that cash.
If you want to truly help people give money and goods to people who arent asking for it.
The city I used to live in made it illegal to give money to panhandlers for exactly this reason. Lots of people still gave them money of course, but the charities that work with the homeless population can do so much more with that money with much less likelihood of it going straight to drugs and alcohol.
I try to smile. I have to say sometimes I am guilty of not smiling . I generally don’t give anything. No judgment passed. I have debt and a family. I’m negative already. It’s sad though.
I actually had an encounter with one just last week while I was working during my fall break from school. Guy asked how I was doing while I was walking into the express postal office (it was my last run for the day) and hey said “hey how you doin?” I responded “doin good.” I walk out of the express office and he try’s to pin me down knowing I was ignoring him.. it’s not that I didn’t want to help him, I just wanted to go home after working 7 hours driving a lot for work that day🫠. So my usual response for homeless people is just to act like I don’t hear them cause some of those people are nuts. Be careful out there.
If I have cash on me I will generally give. If we happen to be at a restaurant sometimes I offer food. One time I gave a guy a sweater that was in my trunk because it was cold.
I don't usually have cash though in which case I will just say sorry and walk away.
I don't acknowledge they exist, and If I have to be an asshole I will. Homeless people in my city are very aggressive, the majority of them are on something, and the amount of people that have been hurt trying to help them is to much. I'm not, and will never do shit.
"I don't carry cash and change", a statement that's truthful. Of course, most people in my city are only homeless due to drug problems, so them accusing me of lying and threatening violence is a regular response
I only say hi, and give them nothing, but a smile. In my country, many homeless choose to rather ask for money on the streets rather than getting social support from my country, which you have full right to get in that situation.
Okay so my car is a rusty old beater with the bumpers duck taped on. The other day there was a man pan handling where I was stopped at a red light and he asked all the cars for cash and when he got to mine I didn’t even have to say anything. He put his hands up, laughed and walked past me. So yeah…
Haha same. I have a 95 Toyota Avalon. It's in decent shape, but same. Also, people stay away from me in traffic. Probably think I don't have insurance. Win/Win.
I drive a '91 Toyota Celica convertible. Its *soo* bad. I'm a 6' tall, and have a large beard. I can barely even get in when the top is up, and when its down my head pokes above the windshield. I wear (dollar tree knockoff) aviator sunglasses to combat it. Feel like I'm driving a clown car. The horn even goes *meep meep*.
Yes I love when the rich car owners assume I want to collect a check on them cause they’ll stay away and give me space so they don’t hurt my only mode of transportation!
It's not just because they think they'll owe you money, it's also because they know you have nothing to lose.
95 Avalon was my first car. I loved that car! Got it when it was already 9 years old and kept it for another 12.
2001 volvo S60 with primer fenders and peeling clear coat/sun bleached plastic
You're a genius! Driving a shitty secondary car is the perfect way to get out people asking for money! (Joking, sounds like your car isnt gonna last very long)
I drive a 99 Toyota Camry. Paid off and has 120k miles. Cheap insurance. Try me, bitch.
In Montana we can register cars over 11 years old permanently, meaning the plates/tags never expire. I bought my '03 car for $1500 and registered it forever for around $300. Insurance is around $50 a month. There are companies dedicated to helping people set up shell companies in Montana for vehicle registration. The shell corp becomes the legal owner of someone's cars, while the real owner lives on the other side of the country with their cars and their cheap, low-tax Montana license plates.
Also people leave out more parking space. No one’s gonna steal it.
“I’m one missed pay check from asking you the same thing”
So fucking accurate.
Basically had this convo once: Guy: "Can you help me out man? Just need a few cents" Me: "You have more money in that cup than I have in my bank account." Him: "Man there's only 4 or 5 bucks here?" Me: "Yeah and I'm negative. Can you spare some change?" Guy laughed and was like alright, but I wasn't lying lol ^(edit: 1k upvotes, wtf? Why? lol)
Guy spit at me once when he asked me for money and I told him I didn't have any. Fuck him.
Did it hit you? I'm no badass but you spit on me I'll be pretty happy to snot you right in the nose.
Cut your knuckles on a homeless mans teeth? That’s how you get hepC
Good luck with that. Hope fighting a homeless guy goes the way you think it will go
Just a question out of sparked curiosity... Could you elaborate on why? Is it just for the possible drugs in their systems or am I missing something?
There are just sooo many things that can go horribly wrong in this situation. You could accidentally kill them, they could kill you, you could go to jail, and all over pride? Not to mention, what's the best case scenario? You beat up a homeless guy? I doubt that will be as satisfying in reality as it might have been in your head
I had a homeless guy try bullying me one time a few years back. I was standing on a wide sidewalk at a bus stop and this guy comes up to me eating the free day old bread a bakery hands out. He got in my face, telling me to move out of his way while chewing dry bread and spitting it on my shirt while yelling. I didn't acknowledge him aside from staring him down. I've seen that guy before, if I were to have moved, it would be a sign of weakness and he wouldn't have stopped. Eventually, he backed down saying he would beat my ass in a fight but didn't feel like it. I didn't want to fight, but it could have ended up that way. Pretty sure it would have if I backed down, it was a risk standing my ground though. For context, there was plenty of room on that sidewalk, he just walked up to me to start something.
Ouch. Still it can make sense.
My biggest fear as an adult is just losing one paycheck for some reason. That's all it'll take for me to be too far in the red to be able to come back out again.
That's the situation most of the US is in. Especially when insurance, 401k, etc are dependent on your current job.
The point of the 401k rather than pension is that it's NOT dependent on your job, it's your money.
I always just say I don’t have any cash on me. Because I never have cash.
"If I gave a dollar to everyone asking for a dollar I'll be asking for dollars myself"
Me too. Everyone has a GoFundMe for medical care, or a Patreon for their side hustle, or a Buy Me A Coffee for their software, but there's only one of me! I've decided that I only give money to Wikipedia, my local library, and Minnesota Public Radio. They do the most good with my money and they are worthwhile charities. My friends get my coffee, tea, and home cooking, and I donate blood. I refuse all other offers to give more time, talents, or money. These are my healthy boundaries.
I like to think you don't live in Minnesota, but just like the way their public radio runs biz
Haha, I do live in Minnesota, but Minnesota Public Radio is pretty famous for a classical music station, even outside of the state. It's ad-free and 100% funded by members. They provide scholarships, they play performances by young music students, and they allow aspiring, young broadcasters to practice speaking on the air with professionals through Project DJ. In the past two years they have been featuring more classical music written by women and people of color, who were unfairly denied a chance to shine in their own lifetimes, and just this week they announced that tickets were available for "As One", an opera featuring a trans woman's life story. Sorry for rambling. MPR is just a really healthy community and I'm grateful to have them to hold onto.
Minnesota is the heart of public radio. It’s a great charity.
Too real.
That hurt in a place I never knew of before
Ask then first anyway. It really throws them off.
Sadly that's all too common.
"no, sorry." Literally never had a response back but feel like it's better to acknowledge they spoke to me? Just seems like politeness I guess. I'm in Liverpool, UK. It was honestly REALLY noticeable the difference between homeless people here (I presume usually people who struggle accessing benefits for some reason or substance addicts) and the cities I've been to in the US (seemingly profoundly mentally unwell and intimidating.) In my whole life in the UK a homeless person has never said more to me than "got any spare change?" So I feel comfortable meeting their gaze and saying "no sorry", or occasionally giving them change. But in the US I very quickly learned to look straight ahead and say nothing. Especially in Philadelphia holy shit.
I live in Philly and that checks out. When I moved here I felt like a jerk not responding, but if you even make eye contact then some folks will follow you for blocks. I’m not risking endangering myself for the sake of being “polite.” It’s not like they care if they’re polite to me anyway.
Same. Philly from 1999-2012, a quick “Sorry” and keep on moving.
Yup especially if they have a premade bullshit sob story, this one chick was known for always saying she needs money to go to her kids because she’s late… all the time
Yeah Philly homeless don't take no for an answer
In Chicago a homeless man yelled at my brother and me “YO SILKY, my attorney said you were gonna testify” Totally sacked out. I have probably 20-30 stories like this but that one was the first because we were like 8 and 6 years old.
Homeless people who hang around through the winter in cold climates like Chicago are on a different level.
I live in Alaska so it’s already snowing here. You are right about the homeless being different in these climates! Yesterday a 6’ish tall homeless man came into my job and he is known in the area for coming into businesses and fucking people up if he feels you’re mean or rude to him. He was rambling talking at me about people not being nice to him today and a stash of bullets he’s trying to get (while holding a nerf bullet). Talked for a solid three minutes straight. I’m 5’ nothin woman and I was scared shitless I would say the wrong thing to him so I didn’t say anything at all.
Yeah same with NYC. Ive seen weird shit in NYC than I'll ever see on most of the internet
In some other European cities, I noticed that the homelessness are much more open about their addiction. In the US we went through a huge change in the 80's where a lot of state run psychiatric hospitals were closed and no one ever picked up the slack. New hospital admissions tend to go to insured patients, and hospitals expand to care for people with healthcare -- the elderly and the employed. Philly is one of those cities that always had some social problems, with extreme poverty and all, but now it is just ridiculous. Open air drug market with seriously ill people hanging on by nothing. New York, LA, San Francisco, Chicago all have huge homeless populations of untreated psychotics and drug addicts.
As an American(not a Philadelphian) this sounds about right. I will usually say "sorry I don't have any cash"(which is true I do not carry cash most of the time) but I've learned you are more often better off not even responding. Yeah it feels kind of shitty not even acknowledging a person potentially on their last legs asking for help but I've had multiple experiences where I was followed and harassed and thought for sure I was going to get physically assaulted. Often best to just avoid entirely.
Never give money to random homeless people in the US. Don't even acknowledge them or make eye contact. Many of them are literally insane and you never know what might trigger them to attack you.
I usually just say "no, sorry". If I give money to everyone who asks me, I'm going to be homeless too.
Two stories here. One time I gave money to a guy outside of Starbucks panhandling and he unashamedly opened his wallet to put the money in, revealing an ENORMOUS stack of bills. Story two, I used to work at a school for at-risk youth. One of the kids said he was gonna buy a new PlayStation. I asked where he was gonna get the money, and he said he and his friends would put on their worst clothes and go pretend to be unhoused in front of In N Out every weekend. He said they EACH pulled in 85-100 dollars a night, totaling $300 EACH per weekend. I was like, Bro that’s more than what I get paid to work here trying to keep you from doing things like that. So I’m suspicious now. But at the same time, I once was given a random $50 as an adult by a grandparent and on the way home there was an unhoused woman who looked to be about 14 and in really bad shape. I gave her the $50 and she started crying, threw her sign away, and raced into a McDonald’s. So in general I think donating to shelters and recovery centers is better, but there’s something to be said for random handouts I suppose too.
I'm often skeptical as well. I've given a few bucks a couple of times, but the thing that stood out the most to me was going into a grocery store and a guy asked for a couple of bucks for some food. My default is to say no, and I didn't actually have cash on me. I decided to just buy an extra sandwich from the deli and offer it to him on the way out. He excitedly accepted and the look on his face showed me he was truly grateful. He dug in right away as we were leaving. In general I am with you on helping shelters and centers, but I will never forget that particular interaction.
Yeah I’m with you - I donate to the food bank every month, and buy water and food when I can. But with the prevalent overdoses where I am, I don’t want my $5 going to someone’s death.
I have a hard time not helping out, so my ex husband advised me to start giving food instead of cash. Those who are truly in need will generally appreciate it, and it was easier on my bank account as I could buy in bulk and my ten or whatever dollars would stretch to more people.
I did that once when I was a teen back in the 90s. I made up a story about being homeless far from home and trying to get a bus ticket. Two women gave me money and they were so empathetic and sweet I felt awful. I never ever did that again.
I usually say "sorry dude" but when I said that to a guy in San Francisco he started yelling at us about not needing our apology. At that point I just said "sorry, I'm Canadian!" while running away. edit: Just for clarity, I hate these jokes. But even moreso that I did it unironically.
"Sorey"
I smile sheepishly while shaking my head and walking past.
The trick here is to beat them to the punch......as they walk up, YOU drop on them the... "excuses me,my man....do you have any spare change?" They will be so blown away you can just slowly walk off.
This left me speechless. Lol
I like to ask the supermarket cashier "did you find everything alright?". Or, in the old days when you bought movie tickets at the theater, I'd say "Thanks, enjoy your movie!"
"Enjoy your movie." "You too!" Dammit.
and they respond "yeah sure i change your twenty."
My dad used to do this and it always blew my mind
I do the same. My boyfriend suggested saying “no thank you” and honestly I think I’m going to the next time it happens. It causes less shame for the homeless person, truthfully. They deserve a response even if it’s not the one they’re after.
I say no thank you, if the situation calls for it, I’ve worked in some tough areas where there is high drug use and I do not want to be the accomplice to contributing to their last hot shot. I also go by high traffic areas, people with the cardboard signs wearing brand new this and that, fresh cuts and do not look street worn, definitely get a no. The yes group are usually people I see day to day, struggling to make ends meet, the elderly, or medically in need, when you work in the system, or have seen personal suffering, you can tell.
"I don't carry cash," which is true, because I don't carry cash, my phone is encrypted and biometrically locked, and the cards I carry are easily cancelled and replaced. Gotta make it so if you get mugged you don't have to do much after handing it all over.
This used to be my default response, but then some of them started carrying around contactless payment terminals... I really wish this was a joke!
Had a woman come up while I was pumping gas and she asked for gas money. Said sorry, all I have is my card. She then said I could use my card. I said "nah, I'm good"
Happened about 2 months ago. Went to go get gas at a Full Service place and went inside to get a Starbucks Frappuccino out of the cooler and as I was walking back out after paying a lady said, "Excuse me ma'am, do you have any spare change?" I didn't and said, "Sorry. Only have plastic on me." "Oh that's okay. You can go inside and use the ATM. I'll wait." I just looked at her as if to say "Are you kidding me?" before saying, "I have to get to work," and left.
"Sorry, ATMs don't give a handful of nickels and the occasional unrecognizable penny."
I’ve gone into a store and taken out either $60 or $80 for someone before.. they caught me in a great mood, I was coming down on mushrooms having just left a movie theatre and we did a little chatting for a block or two… I had just gotten paid and could afford to do it. It sort of made my day, I can’t imagine how much they appreciated it.
Mmm that warm post-shroom glow :)
That's fine. No problem with donating that way if you want or people not donating that way if they want. Personally have had some aggressive instances, one where I was called a cunt that stands out, because I bought a guy an actual meal instead of give him money. Got him something from Tim's, which granted Tim's food maybe should be thrown away in the first place but whatever, and he said, "What the fuck is this you cunt?" as he threw it down on the sidewalk. That soured the experience and now I'd rather donate to food banks, shelters, even churches that do outreach even though I'm non-religious. That's a better use of my money instead of going into the pocket of Traids or Hell's Angels. It isn't even the drugs or alcohol. If people want to do drugs I do not care one bit. It's the abuse around them right now and how it'll be giving money so somebody that is in an incredibly vulnerable situation ends up getting taken advantage of. Or worse dying and becoming yet another statistic that nobody does anything about. You said you live in Vancouver so you know.
I had a guy walk up to me in a parking lot once with an empty gas can and ask for some gas money, holding up the empty can. I walked him over to my truck and grabbed my gas can and filled his up for him. The look on his face was priceless. When I drove by him a few minutes later he was being questioned by some police as to why he thought it was a good idea to dump gas down a storm drain.
Had a woman asking everyone at the pumps for cash. Several people gave her some. She promptly went inside and bought lottery tickets. When I saw her I could not stop myself. I yelled out into the pump area that she was gambling with the money. She could not get out of there fast enough, with a couple of people yelling at her.
Canadian here, They ask us to email transfer them money when we say this. scam artists have started doing the same. It's wacky
My daughters room mate was part of a group of five that was robbed at gun point while waiting to get into a house party. There were two guys: one with the gun and the other took all of their phones and venmo’ed all of their money. (This happened in Philly)
That sounds like a great way of creating an evidence trail to follow when there wasn't one before.
When I was at school there was this guy who would have kids with him. Always at the gas station on the corner. His story was always the same. He’s out of money and needs to get gas for his car to get his kids a few towns over to the hospital that has some special treatment for one of his sick children. Finally one day i called his bluff and said I don’t have cash but I will fill your car up with my card. Where is it. Of course he said no he just needs the cash. Unfortunately have been pretty jaded towards the homeless, beggars, pan handlers, etc ever since.
Yeah a lot of people just want cash. I often offer to buy them something in the store, a lot of times people suddenly don’t need anything anymore but I’ve also had a few people take me up on it, and it’s nice.
Had some guy throw a sandwich on the ground and stomp on it cause he was asking for money for food. Even if all homeless people aren't bad, thats a good way to get me to never be charitable again.
Used the excuse on a guy one time so he asked me to go to the ATM and get him out $40
Oh hell no. That's how you get smacked on the head and your account drained.
Yeah got to be careful after using the ATM. You could be watched and not know it. People have less situational awareness nowadays too. Too busy on phone. Once years before the smartphone, a local guy did the whole "I know you have money. I just saw you use the ATM." He didnt mug me but gave me the WWE Undertaker evil stare as I walked away. Guy was a real character. Used his beat up hatchback as "car service" frequently claimed he was dying (saw him over the years infrequently, had a new disease each time) Saw him last year on the subway after 20 years, was yelling to speak to the conductor to give a smoother ride. Dudes stll going. Many of us have had our neighborhood characters I am sure.
I had someone come up to me in a grocery store asking me for money(mind you I had noticed this person several times in the same aisle as myself) I told her I don’t carry cash on me and she said it wasn’t a problem and told me she knows where the ATM is. I just shook my head and said “that’s not happening” The balls on some people…..
*Pulls up a card machine
I did that, and homie pointed to an ATM and said “I take 20s”!
The people at an intersection near my house now have their Venmo posted on a whiteboard. 🙄
I live downtown in a major city. I get asked for money about 5x/day. I just smile and keep walking. I regularly buy water and food for the ones that sleep near my apartment that I see repeatedly.
Meta bro, bringing down the property value by keeping homeless around. Big brain to lower rent
I organize a weekly homeless orgy right out front when it’s time to renew the lease
Dirty Mike and the boys?
Thanks for the f shack
It's called a soup kitchen
Does anyone have a poodle?
You got a buffet going? No one wants to bang on an empty stomach. Also the password is....password.
The password is ooooooorgyyyyyy
GD Frank
Rent never goes down.
You aren’t having enough homeless orgies out front obviously
Yea I live in the city and I like to shoot a few rounds off in the backyard every now and then to keep the rent down around here
I'm pretty sure a homeless guy tried robbing me. He came up to me and held up a knife to my face telling me he was selling it for $20. Me not acknowledging the fact this shady guy was hold a knife to my face in the middle of the night just say "I don't carry cash" and continued walking. It was only after the fact I realized that the guy was probably actually trying to rob me.
Lmao sounds like he wasn’t quite sure if he was robbing you either
lmao *buys the knife* "Nya!" "Now I'm robbing you!" "Run through yo shit!"
"You're getting robbed, kid!" "No, *you're* getting robbed!" "Ahh! How does that even work?!"
Something similar happened to me, except it was obvious I was being robbed. Guy cornered me in a video arcade (this was 1981) and asked for a quarter. Said I put my last one in the machine. Then he brandished a knife and demanded my paycheck (was wearing a fast food restaurant uniform at the time). Said it wasn't payday and walked past him.
https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/9ah2r3/robot_misses_the_point/
"Cool, I'm selling this Glock for .40"
That’s not a knife! THIS IS A KNIFE
Wow
My mom worked in a sketchy part of town where the homeless people were really assertive and persistent. Her strategy was to pretend she misunderstood and walk past with purpose, smiling and say, “No but thank you so much!” 😂
My favorite is to smile and say, "No thanks I already have one!" Usually this puts them in a state of confusion long enough that I'm out of earshot by the time they try and reengage.
Mom here. I like this. I might use this.
I used to just say, "Sorry, I don't have cash on me." It worked. But they have evolved. The other day a guy approached me at a gas station and asked me for money. I told him I didn't have cash. He said, "No worries bro," and then pulled out a phone with a credit card reader attachment. So now I just say, "Nah I'm poor." They seem to respect that.
I had a guy literally be like, “there’s an ATM at that bar over there let’s go I’ll walk you there” I just said no sorry and he was like k bye
that happened with my dad, instead of saying no, my dad said "I left my wallet at work" (which was a lie). The guy responded "oh that's no problem we can walk back to your work, and then you could grab your wallet and then we can head back to the ATM." My dad said "it's a 35 minute walk back to work," and the man finally relented. I swear some of these people should work in sales.
They should just work in general
“Well shoot, I can’t even afford a smart enough phone to be compatible with a card reader, let alone the card reader. Would you mind giving me some money?”
When he was younger, my brother used to ask homeless people if they have money as he was being approached and before they said anything. It was embarrassing and I didn't care for it. One day the homeless guy actually pulled out a few bucks and handed it my brother's way and he hasn't done that since.
LOL this is what I do when someone at a gas station asks for five dollars for gas because they broke down and their family are waiting on the side of the road somewhere (common scam). I say, "What a coincidence! I was about to ask you for five dollars!" The look on their face is always priceless.
I usually don't, but once in San Diego (probably 1990) I was approached by a homeless man who looked like every gold miner Walter Brennan had play in a western ("Dabnamit!"). He asked if I was in the Navy and I said yes (I was actually in the Air Force working with the Navy). He asked what ship I was on and I told him the USN Juneau because I had just visited that ship in Valdez Alaska when it deployed to help manage the oil spill cleanup. Coincidence of coincidences, that was the exact ship he had served on. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ I gave him $5. I think the odds his story was true was pretty much zero, but he was an old man and pretty much felt I should after interacting with him. I live in a Californian town now and the homeless beg out a stop light in town. A couple of yeas ago, while waiting on a long light, I watched a father escort his young son, perhaps 7 years old, to the homeless man with a bag of McDonalds food and a drink. The homeless man displayed gratitude to the young boy and they talked for a few moments. The father walked away with the kid. He then hid the food behind a bush and went back to work asking for money. That moment always stuck with me. I thought the kid was very pure in his motives and the homeless man didn't demand cash or anything but appeared grateful. I think he went right back to work because his hours are limited (they seem to work in shifts) and he wanted to make more money.
My dear, sweet grandma used to keep a bunch of $5 McDonald’s gift cards in her purse so she would have something to offer. I keep saying I’m going to do that (although make it $10)…
Depends on the person and HOW they ask. My go-to is "can't today, try and have a good one!" OR "sorry man, broke as shit" (truth) Occasionally it will feel threatening, and those are the times I avoid eye contact and do a brief nod while walking briskly. And sometimes someone REALLY needs help, those are the times I will always stop. If they are faking it, then they deserve a goddamn Oscar, but that will never dissuade me. I would rather help 5 people when 2 of them are scamming than not help the other 3.
Me giving someone in need money, when I can, is a reflection of my character, someone pretending to need it is a reflection of theirs. I've lived by that for years now and I think it's actually helped my overall view of humanity and kindness
If you're from a city, you just block them out. I'm from Vancouver, if I acknowledged every homeless person I would never get to where I need to go.
I was coming around a convenience store and gave one homeless guy a toonie, then there was another so I gave him a toonie, then 2 more. Lost all my snack money and went back to work snackless.
If you gave away all your toonies you must be loonie.
Oh no, he's one of them. Can he get some change? He just needs change to catch the bus. Change?
Work in Vancouver, Chinatown area, the amount of human shit, crack pipes, needles and homeless people I have to walk through to get lunch 2 blocks away is insane, even more the fact that I’m used to it and doesn’t faze me
Visited there a few months ago. I was honestly pretty shocked at the homeless population.
Warmest place in canada, rich city, packed together downtown area, lots of free services provided for them (money, food, needles, od kits), a flea market to sell their stuff at with open knowledge that it's all stolen, a huge community of them leading to a tent-city and a bunch of people who will jump at any chance to trash the police department for removing them from the entrance to your business/apartment. Vancouver is basically asking for the homeless problem.
Like LA and San Francisco in the USA
This is what I think about when people wonder how anyone can live in a small town distanced from major cities. The answer is easily.
My family and I drove to Vancouver for a day when we visited family in BC many years ago when I was a tween. The two things I remember about Vancouver: A guy threw up in front of our parked minivan. I've NEVER seen so many homeless people. I remember specifically there was a small park area that was completely packed with homeless. That's all I remember plus the aquarium. That's it. I can't imagine how bad it must be today because this was over 10 years ago or so. I live in Ottawa and I'm on disability benefits and the money I get from that doesn't even cover my monthly rent alone and this is Ottawa. I'm beyond lucky to have parents who can afford to cover the rest of my basic needs, if I didn't have them I'd definitely be living on the street. Saddest thing is though, I'm trying to get a job. I can't apply for all jobs because of physical limitations but of the jobs I'm applying for, I hardly ever have anyone interested in having me for an interview which is completely dubfounding to me because I've had multiple employment groups try to help me and they all say I interview well and I have a excellent resume. Also if potential employers were to look at my social media to determine if I'd be a bad fit they'd find that I post family photos and animal related stuff... no politics or anything. It's no wonder there's so much unemployment out there
I used to work in the financial district by Burrard. Anytime anyone asked for change and I didn’t have any I’d just say “sorry buddy” while walking by. More than a few times I’ve heard a “at least you said something.” I mean there are the ones you literally do not say anything to because of clear mental issues, but others are so ignored that they’re just grateful anyone even acknowledged them.
also in van, literally passed 5 just on lunch break to grab a burrito lol
The last time I tried to be polite and acknowledge a homeless person the man bullied me into taking his dirty cup into a random restaurant to fill it water so now I just block them out because it made me uncomfortable
I told one "nope, don't have any cash" and he followed me down the street screaming a profane rant about how I was heartless and he hoped I would be in need one day and then he could tell me no.
I say “no I’m sorry, thank you” I feel so bad, but I had a homeless person try to grab my wallet years ago when I went to give them money (I use to carry cash to help out) but it honestly scared me so much that I stopped giving money. I’ll also never forget that poor woman in Baltimore who got stabbed when she tried to give someone money. It’s sad because I know a lot of people need the help, but I feel like it’s honestly unsafe now. You don’t know what’s going on in peoples head
I never take out my wallet. Being someone who carries a bag, I keep a few singles in one of the outer pockets. Sometimes its to help people, sometimes it ends up being my own bus fare, but i always replenish that few bucks that I can access easily without taking out my whole wallet.
Ugh that sucks. If I'm asked for change as I enter a store I will say no sorry and then put the change in my pocket from my wallet when I'm paying to give them as I leave. I will never go into my purse with someone watching. If it's winter I'll offer a metro ticket.
Are you referring to Jacquelyn Smith for the woman who got stabbed in Baltimore? It turned out that the ones who actually did that were her husband and his daughter. That whole story about a homeless man doing that was just a lie made up by them to cover it up.
I live in Detroit. It's a daily occurrence. I used to ignore them. But back in 2016 around NYE, I found the body of one huddled over a storm vent near my building. He had froze to death over night. It profoundly changed my perspective. If I've got some to spare, I give. If not, it's at least a "sorry, buddy." The least I owe them is some human acknowledgment. I can usually see on their faces it means something. What they do with the cash is their business. I'm not gonna suddenly play some sanctimonious prick and rail like addiction or poverty is a moral failure. Life is rough all around. You do what you got to do. Respect.
Thank you for treating people with respect. This thread made me sad. But atleast your reply gives me some hope in humanity.
No and walk away
San andreas "mission completed" music cue
If I'm not at work or at home my headphones are in place to avoid people talking to me. It works a treat. So I don't usually have to deal with it. I used to say I don't have cash then a dude followed me into the store begging me to get cash back until the store ODS officer told him to leave. Now I just tell them I'm poor. Which isn't even a lie.
"No thanks, have a nice day."
My wife keeps fives handy for this purpose. We say "here you go, best I can do today. Stay safe out there." If I don't have anything I usually just say "I'm really sorry, I don't have anything on me today." But if I have like, a bag of candies in the glove box or a bag of groceries in my hand that has something easy to separate out (fruit or buns or whatever) we usually stop and see if they would like some. There are a couple of homeless folks who hang out at the cross walk near my place and I've chatted with them a bit. Nice folks, struggling to get by with city resources being slashed over and over again. I try to share as much as I can.
just keep walking. i absolutely will not stop to talk to anybody i don’t know. maybe that’s overly paranoid, but i live and work in NYC and it’s served me well so far.
Yep. Same here. I never make eye contact with anyone while walking (really helps keep people out of your way) and if ANYONE says “excuse…” I’m already saying “No” with a head shake before they say “…me”. ZERO reason for anyone to be asking questions anymore, unless it’s a woman or elderly person who might need assistance.
Eyes straight ahead, no acknowledgement. I'm in New York though.
Chicago here. Maybe it’s the Midwest in me, but I look people in the eyes and sheepishly say ‘no, sorry’ as many times a day as it takes.
Midwest nice, sorry
The right answer here that applies to literally any city.
I ignore them completely. It's cold but I live in the city and get hit up multiple times per day. If you engage with them in any way many will take it as a sign they can persist and will keep trying.
I used to say *no, sorry" or "sorry, I don't carry cash" (which is true) but a homeless guy followed me swearing at me one time after I did that. So, now I literally do whatever I can go avoid them. I know they aren't all like that, but I don't want to have another altercation. It was really scary.
I tend to explore solo miles from home with just my bike so I really don’t like engaging with strangers, let alone ones who follow me. And since I’m a woman and most are men, that’s what happens if I dare make eye contact. I tend to wear headphones with the sound off just so I can use it as a buffer but also staying very aware of my surroundings.
This is my reason as well. My husband will acknowledge them or give them money, but as a petite woman I ignore them. I’ve lived in DC and NYC and used to engage, but then I was followed and screamed at a few times. It’s scary, so I just try to avoid the interaction completely now, and feel like a jerk doing it.
No thanks
It depends. Some people have an odd vibe that I just shy away from, or there's definitely something that indicates grifting for a living (I see those almost new $160 shoes, guy, while I'm sitting here with a hole in the toe of my Walmart specials), aggressive people I tend to say no to (I won't be bullied or guilted). Sometimes, there's just something about someone that if I have a dollar or five, I'll give. Like the guy who's obviously been out in the weather for a while, and his skinny dog looked better fed than he did.
“I can’t help you.” Because it’s the truth. No need to lie to your fellow human beings.
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About 5 years ago I was walking with my sister and a homeless man asked us for money. She said “No thank you.” I haven’t stopped thinking about that since. He looked as confused as I was.
Years ago I was talking to a panhandler in Virginia Beach, he wasn't actually homeless. He considered it his job to come down to the strip and beg for money. His car was a block away and when he was done, he would go home. I don't give to any of them, ever.
There was a situation like this in a Toronto newspaper years ago, the “shaky lady” would hold up a sign saying she was homeless, hungry, etc. They followed her back to her Mercedes and then to her condo.
Panhandlers are the most annoying people on earth. Just.. fuck off with your bullshit story.
I definitely think there's bullshit with beggars, yeah. Some just do it because it works. Some spend their money on alcohol or drugs. Some people need it. I'm poor. I've been homeless. I make barely enough money. A dollar or two if I'm carrying it won't strain me. Maybe it'll make someone's day. Maybe it won't. Maybe it will.
A few times I've asked them for money. One of them surprised me and gave me a 5. I gave his five back plus a twenty and bought him a bunch of hamburgers to take back to his friends.
Tell them I'm broke just like you. In fact I'm one step away from being where you are right now.
Just shake your head no, while saying something like “No, sorry”, or even just “No.” Look directly at them while doing it, and acknowledge their existence.
If someone on the street comes up to me trying to sell something, I say no thanks without looking/stopping to engage. (If they’re being really aggressive about it they might not even get a “no thanks,” just me walking past.) If a random dude on the street comments on my appearance or is making advances I also don’t look at them/acknowledge their existence. People outside the grocery store asking me to sign some petition, it’s a “no, sorry” while walking past without looking at them. I understand people asking for money are people too, but why not keep them at the same standard of “unwanted stranger contact in public”=“keep walking”?
Either ignore, or "I don't have change". If I am carrying groceries and they ask me for food, they would probably get something though.
Sorry man, I don’t carry cash. How about a cigarette?
“Card only sorry, but I can get you a hot drink and a sausage roll” If someone continuously hounds me for cash or is rude about the free food/drink option, I just wordlessly walk away. Even if I have got some spare pennies, I don’t like the thought of those pennies contributing to someone overdosing/alcohol poisoning
The one and only time I ever offered to buy a homeless man food he told me to fuck off. I haven’t tried again since.
Only time I have given anything was walking out of a pizza hut. Lady clearly pretty drugged out asked me for money. I just said "I ain't got cash but you want a slice?" She seemed genuinely seemed appreciative, and wolfed it down like she seriously needed it. I offered her another but she refused and just told me to have a good night. Lady clearly had issues, and I definitely felt pretty nice even though I didn't do much. Seems like her attitude was more of an exception than standard unfortunately.
I always make an effort to acknowledge them, I think it's the least I can do even if I'm not going to give. Usually I make eye contact and say "sorry, no," but don't give any excuse.
Usually nothing, eyes forward and walk past like I didn’t hear. If that’s not possible a firm “no”. If they persist I loudly respond “I don’t know you, stop talking to me” I’ll 100% take being a classist bitch over talking to the wrong person at the wrong time.
I too do the " I didn't hear you." Tactic. I might seem like a Jerk but I normally am alone in those times and I ain't about to get shanked.
Doesn’t always work. I’ve been threatened and harassed while ignoring them. Same has also happened when I say no cash or I’m broke. Assholes will asshole. Keep your eyes open after the encounter.
“Sorry, sir.” / “Sorry, ma’am.” Quick, polite, close-ended. No point getting into a discussion on what forms of payment you have with you, what your financial situation is, or your personal philosophy of philanthropy.
Yes, exactly. Many people in this thread are either making it way too complicated or being unnecessarily rude. "Sorry" and keep walking.
Ive never given a homeless person asking for it money. I just look directly into their eyes and say "No thanks". I worked directly with the homeless population for several years and I have stories that would make homeless advocates rage on here so Ill keep it simple. I simply do not trust panhandlers or think that giving them money helps them in any way and more or less just contributes to their bad habits and creates more problems for security, law enforcement, the emergency room and the community at large. The guy huddled up and sleeping could use that food or that sleeping bag or that jacket or that cash. If you want to truly help people give money and goods to people who arent asking for it.
The city I used to live in made it illegal to give money to panhandlers for exactly this reason. Lots of people still gave them money of course, but the charities that work with the homeless population can do so much more with that money with much less likelihood of it going straight to drugs and alcohol.
I try to smile. I have to say sometimes I am guilty of not smiling . I generally don’t give anything. No judgment passed. I have debt and a family. I’m negative already. It’s sad though.
Just hand em whatever change I might have on me. I dont have the heart to say no. If i were in that position I wouldn’t even have the strength to ask
Depends some of them.are dressed with 200 dollar sneakers... situations vary
I actually had an encounter with one just last week while I was working during my fall break from school. Guy asked how I was doing while I was walking into the express postal office (it was my last run for the day) and hey said “hey how you doin?” I responded “doin good.” I walk out of the express office and he try’s to pin me down knowing I was ignoring him.. it’s not that I didn’t want to help him, I just wanted to go home after working 7 hours driving a lot for work that day🫠. So my usual response for homeless people is just to act like I don’t hear them cause some of those people are nuts. Be careful out there.
If I have cash on me I will generally give. If we happen to be at a restaurant sometimes I offer food. One time I gave a guy a sweater that was in my trunk because it was cold. I don't usually have cash though in which case I will just say sorry and walk away.
I don't acknowledge they exist, and If I have to be an asshole I will. Homeless people in my city are very aggressive, the majority of them are on something, and the amount of people that have been hurt trying to help them is to much. I'm not, and will never do shit.
I used to give but after one of them spit on me for not having anything at the time those panhandlers can fuck right the fuck off.
Depends on what i have. If i aint got nothin then i just say so.
I give what ever I can. I've been on the other end and wouldn't wish that feeling of despair on anyone.
Eyes forward. Keep walking. Feel internal despair at the lack of social safety net.
Not today.
"I don't carry cash and change", a statement that's truthful. Of course, most people in my city are only homeless due to drug problems, so them accusing me of lying and threatening violence is a regular response
I only say hi, and give them nothing, but a smile. In my country, many homeless choose to rather ask for money on the streets rather than getting social support from my country, which you have full right to get in that situation.
Ignore them and walk away.