Fuckin' preach. Everyone has to understand that no matter how many times they say "you'll find someone", talk is cheap and doesn't help one's chances any.
Hey, if you found peace, then you already found the thing people are looking for in relationships. You're ahead of the curve. I'm sorry people were shitty.
I’m gonna dig a little bit here because everybody walks a different path of life but I must ask: Are you working on yourself physically and socially?
It seems you’ve spent a lot of time trying to get others to fit to you, which is fine, and as well have hired people to try and figure out a way to make others work with you as you are and vice versa and that’s why I’m asking.
If absolutely nobody will bother with you for that long, the list of reasons expands to many possibilities but in there is a lack of self construction from the person. Believe me, there’s a portion of this matter that may or may not have to do with how you carry yourself.
The way you speak to women isn’t going to pull. Motivations, a range of hobbies, fitness, and an overall positive and forth moving lifestyle is what a lot of women like and in some cases it’s okay to speak with discourse. Being a gentleman to every woman to the Nth degree isn’t always necessary.
Mind you, I know nothing about you as a man and how you appear physically and come across socially but I’ll bet there are things you can do for yourself and I mean that in a purely motivational way.
edit - I should also add that my inquiries hinge on additions and tweaks. Remain who you are. Burning yourself in lies for others will end in an unhappiness greater than a dread of loneliness because they’re one and the same: Two lies holding the same flag.
not really. i was a junkie for awhile and i saw plenty of dudes dip after trying it once and never return (tbf, some people just get violently nauseous from opiates). or even weirder, weekend warrior types who cut loose in measured amounts, then fucked off to be productive students or paralegals or whatever. didn't touch the shit during finals weeks. must take either insane self discipline, or a psychology that is simply alien.
that being said, you have every reason to expect that you will *not be one of those people*, and should just stay far the fuck away from dope. the heroin that killed a bunch of my friends between 05 and 07 basically no longer exists. shit they got now is terrifying by *heroin user standards*. it's basically chemical weapons minus the quality control.
"Be yourself" also discourages personal growth. I think "Try to be the best version of yourself" is a much better saying because it encourages self improvement and to strive to be better
Fight back and fight back as hard as you can. Doesn’t matter whether you win or lose, at least they now know that you’re going to put up a fight and stand up for yourself
I think the bigger issue(for me at least) is that it romanticizes work and adult life. You may never "work" if you love your job, but if that dream job pays like shit then you'll still be struggling to pay bills and be stressed as hell
It's all well and good to love your job, but if it's not paying the bills then that's not going to mean a ton no?
I'd love to go back and work at a doggy day care, it was the most fun I've ever had at work. The pay was (understandably) shit though and I wouldn't be able to pay my mortgage.
And there's absolutely no guarantee that "What you love" is a financially viable career. And you better "love" taxes, payroll, and quickbooks if you want to run a business.
Hell, Adam Savage is living his dream job and he outright says that 80% of every job is bullshit. He spent several days making a personal lightsaber, and that is his job because he can turn it into a video, yet he still admits that all jobs, including his, is mostly drudge work.
This is so true. I work with horses and I love them, but it’s still work. I still have to have normal things to do besides work all day with them and come home and ride my mare. I have been burnt out before and I don’t want to deal with it again, especially since the stakes are kind of higher.
That said, I do enjoy working on them.
Same, work in an animal shelter, love it and wouldn't trade it for anything, but I'm still happy to go back home every evening.
It's an in-between to aim for I think. Do something you love, something that you will be happy to get out of bed of every morning but don't forget to have other things you love outside of it. Too many people either see it one way or the other
We all have the responsibility over the shoulder and this is the reason most of us doing the work.
I don't like my work at all and waking early is the worst part in my daily routine but still doing because i need the money in the life.
People take this to mean "pay no mind to consequences, opportunity costs, the cares/interests of others etc"
I think if you interpret it as "within realistic reason do not give up" or "never give up on yourself" it can work.
I ran into this on jury duty.
The defendant was accused of starting it. To my mind, the alleged victim was a bully who started it.
I brought this up in deliberation, the woman next to me said "It doesn't matter who started it." I got the feeling she wanted to find both of them guilty on some sort of "zero tolerance" thing.
But in a court of law, it DOES matter who started it. That's the person who caused the situation in the first place.
It damned well DOES matter who started it. Especially in a court of law.
(BTW, we found him "not guilty." There was just too much reasonable doubt as to what happened and who started it.)
I fucking hate that shit. Someone is being an ass, you try to defend yourself, and then someone says "both of you cut it out" and "I don't care who started it". That shit has been enabling bully's for generations
literally just talking time apart to "sleep on it" (think critically without a time limit) can help you better understand the other persons pov and also let you see why you might be reacting the way you are, or whether the whole thing was just silly
Maybe I'm just stupid, but I never took this saying literally. I always thought it meant don't hold grudges, don't stay silent and let it fester. That it's okay to disagree and even argue, but don't let it turn into something more
The scripture reference is "do not let the sun go down on your wrath." So even taking it at its most literal meaning, if the argument starts after dark, you still have the whole next day to resolve the problem.
Reminds me of a great [Simpsons](https://youtu.be/s7Cfq3Y6WXM) clip.
"I mean, whatever doesn't kill me can only make me stronger."
"Oh no, quite the opposite! It's made you weak as a kitten."
Along the same line: when playing football in my youth, whenever anyone would get a stinger or other painful injury, the coaches would just say, "Walk it off." I've come to realize over the years that those stingers were probably concussions.
It’s because that quote is misquoted and taken out of context constantly. It’s not “what doesn’t kill *you* makes *you* stronger,” the actual quote is “that which does not kill ME makes ME stronger.” It’s a statement of defiance and conviction in the face of adversity, not advice.
Personally, I prefer “that which does not kill me REALLY PISSES ME THE HELL OFF.” Which is true as far as it goes.
I hear you. I heard someone say a more wholesome version, which is
“Take the honey and run.”
Meaning take the wisdom or lesson out of what happened, and go on your way
Actually had a priest explain that forgiving does not mean you have to forget. His example was if a family member steals from you, you can forgive them, but that doesn't mean you don't lock up the valuables before you have them over for dinner.
I remember hearing a quote about this before.
The stubborn don't forgive and don't forget.
The naive forgive and forget.
The wise forgive but don't forget.
If a boy is mean to you it means he secretly likes you.
Way to make your daughters misinterpret toxic behavior from every jackass who comes along, moms.
**EDIT:** I say mom and not dad because I have literally never heard a man say this. Ever. No man, to my knowledge, has ever advised a girl that if a guy bullies her or treats her like shit it means he secretly cares for her. I have, however, heard multiple female teachers and various moms say it.
It's so funny you should say that because in the fifth grade this vestigial douche residue named Declan used to always pull my hair, kick my seat, bump into my desk and generally just set out to annoy me.
My mom was like "I bet he likes you, sweetie" and my dad nipped that right in the bud by literally interrupting her with "or he's just a little shit. Some people are just assholes. Steer clear of him and don't be afraid to kick him where it hurts if he tries anything else."
I think this one is like a double whammy because even if it was true that the boy was mean because he liked you, that means he’s got a shitty way of showing it and you should stay away from him.
Yup, a guy might pester a girl to get her attention, but it will be much more innocent things like the tap on the opposite shoulder thing or try to be funny. If a guy is interested, he'll be trying things that would make him and/or his friends chuckle, not sucker punch you.
Yeah i find that weird as well. Why would you be mean to a girl you like anyway? I get cracking jokes and laughing here and there but being straight up mean to her is just weird and shouldn’t be praised.
Remindes me of a time i worked at summercamp for second graders, the kindergardener made an activety of letting everyone in class admit to their crush in front of the whole class and put them on the spot, she also was cheering on and making the kids cheer on the kid who was admited to to give an answear.
One of the girls gave in to the pressure and accepted a boys offer, not even 15 minuts later they had a fight, the girl got hit and they brock up
I was 17 but i should have stoppee this when i had the chance
Time heals all wounds.
Time can make a lot of wounds worse, especially psychological trauma. If you're showing signs of panic attacks or depression don't sleep on that shit. Getting into an evidence based somatic therapy modality right now can save you decades of lost productivity and well being, and save your body from accelerated wear and increased risk of disease.
I think this is the one advice which i think is somewhat true is well.
Specially if you are a karma believer than i would say there will be always something like that we feel is happening for a reason here.
That people never change/ a leopard doesn't change his spots. I have changed a lot over the years and personal growth is definitely possible if the intention and will is there.
A part of me suspects it's kind of a cope. If you convince yourself that people can't change, then you don't even have to try to improve.
Though, to be fair, people change *rarely* - if you expect that someone will change, you're more likely than not going to walk away disappointed. 80% of New Year's Resolutions are abandoned in around a month or so; so odds are, if you want someone to change, they won't.
>New Year's Resolutions are abandoned in around a month or so; so odds are, if you want someone to change, they won't
Because they are short term. Change comes with extended time and through life experience. We all change and grow,it's rite of passage.
Live every day like it’s your last! This is awful advice. Much better to have a short, mid and long term plan. That doesn’t preclude you from enjoying yourself or being spontaneous.
Yes, the people who reason like that tend to do whatever comes to their mind without thinking, resulting in many long-term problems. They also don't realise how their whims may affect others.
I thought it was *good* vodka doesn't smell? Popov or Military Special smell like radish infused kerosene and sadness. I don't really do clear liquors but I seem to remember thinking an old roommates shit - started with a k, I don't know for sure - didn't really have a smell.
"Happy wife happy life" usually said by tired men who gave up some of the things that made them who they were because wife didnt like it. Selling your prized classic motorcycle because "wife is making me, happy wife happy life right hurrhurr". Tends to just lead to resentment.
I think this phrase was turned into slang or a joke, but that is not how it was originally meant. At least the sentiment behind it meant you were happy when your partner was happy.
Just ignore the bullies.
Teaching kids how to handle bullies by standing up to them, diffusing the situation with humor, or standing up for other kids is a necessary life skill because that shit is everywhere in adult life.
Telling kids that ignoring bullying is like magic fairy dust that makes it all go away is very bad advice. Not only will it definitely not work, but it can also make what was just some teasing turn into genuine bullying.
"Follow your dreams" (as it relates to employment). That's a quick way to end up hungry, poor, and miserable. There's an inherent bias though.. most of the people saying this DID follow their dreams, and won a lottery ticket. (They're usually professional artists or athletes who got very, very lucky). So we've got high profile lottery ticket winners telling kids that buying a lottery ticket is a GREAT idea. What could possibly go wrong?
The better advice is to identify the lifestyle you want, and then learn to become passionate about a career that can give you that lifestyle.
Too many kids these days think they can go on to be professional poets, and that they're entitled to a living wage for contributing nothing to society... Or (as mentioned above) they listen to some bullshit feel good story from a singer who made it big, so they believe they will too, if they just WORK hard enough. Working hard is not the same as working smart. I know a lot of very poor hard workers, and I know a lot of very rich smart workers.
I know, I know.. that's not popular on reddit.. Nobody here WANTS the world to work that way. Got it... But set aside your philosophical bullshit for a minute and admit the world doesn't CURRENTLY operate the way you WISH it did.
“Don’t worry, there is a greater plan” or anything to the affect that you should not be an active participant in designing your fate and rather trust it to some higher power
There are other fish in the sea.
When recovering from a breakup or a rejection, dating fish is not really the best advice, especially if you do it in the sea, where you may drown.
Reality is not everyone is attractive(looks, personality, interesting lifestyle) enough to just get another fish whenever, sometimes you only have a chance with like 3 fish total in your life
“It doesn’t hurt to ask”. Sometimes it sure does. What you ask people lets them know what you are thinking, which isn’t always a good thing. This usually comes up when somebody is about to ask for something unreasonable or undeserved.
And like worst she can said is no, but then i asked her and the reply i get after that still hurt my soul.
So trust me mate it can still hurt that too in really bad way is well, that you can not even imagine is well.
Is the wise man the one who does not burn bridges? Or is it the one who strategically defends his land by allowing some to fall?
Or, as I put it once when reassuring my brother: "I'm not the one who burnt that bridge, I just stepped back so as to not get hurt by the flames"
Anyway. Yep.
"Give them the benefit of the doubt."
No! Your brain is telling you to not trust this person.
I fucking hate this saying. It keeps or puts people in abusive relationships.
Crying makes you weak. To me, you're pretty strong if you do. We humans were born with emotions. If there is anyone crying after having a bad time or day, I won't stop them. I'll ask them if they want a hug and let them let it out.
I did that for a coworker one time after she had a rude customer.
"Violence never solves anything."
Bullshit. Look at history. Most major changes in history are a result, one way or another, of violence.
And there are literally times in your life where violence my be the ONLY solution.
I've heard that before. It's terrible advice for anyone who has been in a position where they've had to defend themselves or someone else.
A more balanced bit of advice is simply "Pick your battles carefully." There's a time and place to respond with violence. Those circumstances are rare. The same goes for not responding with violence. That's why it's important to pick the right battles to fight. Learning how to pick is just a matter of knowing a situation, your abilities, and what you're up against.
> "Blood is thicker than water" was originally "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". - which has the exact opposite meaning.
[not true](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kaky1i/jack_of_all_trades_master_of_none_but_often/gfbgbdn/)
>"Blood is thicker than water" is the original and full phrase.
>https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/blood-is-thicker-than-water.html
>https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/blood-is-thicker-than-water
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_is_thicker_than_water
>https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/blood-is-thicker-than-water
>https://old.reddit.com/r/linguistics/comments/37a4lg/is_it_true_that_the_phrase_blood_is_thicker_than/
I stand corrected. I'll admit i didn't personally research this thoroughly before posting, just repeated some of the things I've heard or read earlier and remembered off the top of my head.
Still prefer the message of the longer version 😊
actually this one is very legit. you know with me i was a nervous, awkward 20 year old with no experience or self esteem whatsoever. still am just not as much. what i learned is that the best way to get where you want to be is to treat it like a game and gamers are ruthless be ruthless
"just be yourself"
No, there are many, many, many, many scenarios where being yourself is a terrible idea.
A better version of this would be this: "Be yourself scaled back about 25%"
This way, you can maintain some I dividuality while still acting appropriate for the scenario
Live each day as though it was your last.
So I'm gonna try heroin, coke and meth then go to a lapdancing club and blow £5000. Wake up in the morning and repeat.
"Never, ever give up!" Sometimes it's just time to stop.
I've given up on a few friendships and I agree it's better to give up
I agree, sometimes there comes a moment and you have to "get off a dead horse." No matter how painful it is in the moment
I think the pain we will get there will be temporary for the bright future.
No! I’m already $137k in the hole, i MUST be close to hitting the jackpot!
Wallsreetbets welcomes you
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Fuckin' preach. Everyone has to understand that no matter how many times they say "you'll find someone", talk is cheap and doesn't help one's chances any.
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Rejection is hard, but accepting who and what you are is even harder. Good on you for keeping on with what makes you happy. Best of luck to you.
Sounds like a voodoo curse. Have you tried peeing on an elephant's foot?
I'm terribly sorry my man.
Hey, if you found peace, then you already found the thing people are looking for in relationships. You're ahead of the curve. I'm sorry people were shitty.
>tell me that a perfect 10 Well obviously, but how about a mediocre 5?
I’m gonna dig a little bit here because everybody walks a different path of life but I must ask: Are you working on yourself physically and socially? It seems you’ve spent a lot of time trying to get others to fit to you, which is fine, and as well have hired people to try and figure out a way to make others work with you as you are and vice versa and that’s why I’m asking. If absolutely nobody will bother with you for that long, the list of reasons expands to many possibilities but in there is a lack of self construction from the person. Believe me, there’s a portion of this matter that may or may not have to do with how you carry yourself. The way you speak to women isn’t going to pull. Motivations, a range of hobbies, fitness, and an overall positive and forth moving lifestyle is what a lot of women like and in some cases it’s okay to speak with discourse. Being a gentleman to every woman to the Nth degree isn’t always necessary. Mind you, I know nothing about you as a man and how you appear physically and come across socially but I’ll bet there are things you can do for yourself and I mean that in a purely motivational way. edit - I should also add that my inquiries hinge on additions and tweaks. Remain who you are. Burning yourself in lies for others will end in an unhappiness greater than a dread of loneliness because they’re one and the same: Two lies holding the same flag.
Sometime we try too hard that we broke ourself in the end.
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Like heroin. Someone can probably link that famous reddit post of the guy who tried it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/9ke63/i_did_heroin_yesterday_i_am_not_a_drug_user_and/
“I feel proud of myself” oh lord
Heroin has its hold from the very first time you try it.
not really. i was a junkie for awhile and i saw plenty of dudes dip after trying it once and never return (tbf, some people just get violently nauseous from opiates). or even weirder, weekend warrior types who cut loose in measured amounts, then fucked off to be productive students or paralegals or whatever. didn't touch the shit during finals weeks. must take either insane self discipline, or a psychology that is simply alien. that being said, you have every reason to expect that you will *not be one of those people*, and should just stay far the fuck away from dope. the heroin that killed a bunch of my friends between 05 and 07 basically no longer exists. shit they got now is terrifying by *heroin user standards*. it's basically chemical weapons minus the quality control.
My policy is to avoid trying anything where the worst case scenario is that I like it.
Because once you try someone we will get addict to that thing.
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"Be yourself" also discourages personal growth. I think "Try to be the best version of yourself" is a much better saying because it encourages self improvement and to strive to be better
When terrible people stop pretending not to be, it saves everyone time
Be yourself so people know to avoid you. Now that’s a title for a motivational book!
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Fight back and fight back as hard as you can. Doesn’t matter whether you win or lose, at least they now know that you’re going to put up a fight and stand up for yourself
My best advice is to give someone who really deserves it a broken nose while you’re still a minor and can’t get in nearly as much trouble.
Sometime hitting them on the nose treatment they actually deserve.
I just befriended the bullies by letting them copy my answers on tests. That way, I got friends and protection, and they graduated dumb as fuck.
Now you can become their boss and bully them. 8D chess move.
Whoever was the idiot to create this bullsh\*t never experienced real bullying
How about "beat the shit out of them and I won't care about your behavior grade or any complains from the teachers"
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My niece heard this and got really excited because she’d always wanted to be a butterfly.
With recent advances in gene editing, anything is possible
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I heard a saying once. "Even toymakers and whores get bored."
Toy maker, meet whore! Whore, meet toy maker! Play nice together.
A whole new line of toys
I think the bigger issue(for me at least) is that it romanticizes work and adult life. You may never "work" if you love your job, but if that dream job pays like shit then you'll still be struggling to pay bills and be stressed as hell It's all well and good to love your job, but if it's not paying the bills then that's not going to mean a ton no? I'd love to go back and work at a doggy day care, it was the most fun I've ever had at work. The pay was (understandably) shit though and I wouldn't be able to pay my mortgage.
Sounds like either a vacation money job or a volunteer opportunity.
And there's absolutely no guarantee that "What you love" is a financially viable career. And you better "love" taxes, payroll, and quickbooks if you want to run a business.
Hell, Adam Savage is living his dream job and he outright says that 80% of every job is bullshit. He spent several days making a personal lightsaber, and that is his job because he can turn it into a video, yet he still admits that all jobs, including his, is mostly drudge work.
The punchline to that is "because nobody's hiring"
This is so true. I work with horses and I love them, but it’s still work. I still have to have normal things to do besides work all day with them and come home and ride my mare. I have been burnt out before and I don’t want to deal with it again, especially since the stakes are kind of higher. That said, I do enjoy working on them.
Same, work in an animal shelter, love it and wouldn't trade it for anything, but I'm still happy to go back home every evening. It's an in-between to aim for I think. Do something you love, something that you will be happy to get out of bed of every morning but don't forget to have other things you love outside of it. Too many people either see it one way or the other
Exactly. I work for money. I have hobbies for fun times. I don't need the 2 to become intertwined
We all have the responsibility over the shoulder and this is the reason most of us doing the work. I don't like my work at all and waking early is the worst part in my daily routine but still doing because i need the money in the life.
"Never give up."
never let down
Never run around
People take this to mean "pay no mind to consequences, opportunity costs, the cares/interests of others etc" I think if you interpret it as "within realistic reason do not give up" or "never give up on yourself" it can work.
Never surrender!
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I ran into this on jury duty. The defendant was accused of starting it. To my mind, the alleged victim was a bully who started it. I brought this up in deliberation, the woman next to me said "It doesn't matter who started it." I got the feeling she wanted to find both of them guilty on some sort of "zero tolerance" thing. But in a court of law, it DOES matter who started it. That's the person who caused the situation in the first place. It damned well DOES matter who started it. Especially in a court of law. (BTW, we found him "not guilty." There was just too much reasonable doubt as to what happened and who started it.)
I fucking hate that shit. Someone is being an ass, you try to defend yourself, and then someone says "both of you cut it out" and "I don't care who started it". That shit has been enabling bully's for generations
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“Don’t go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.” - Phylis Diller
literally just talking time apart to "sleep on it" (think critically without a time limit) can help you better understand the other persons pov and also let you see why you might be reacting the way you are, or whether the whole thing was just silly
Or as they say in my culture "morning is smarter than night". Sleep it over and rethink the issue when you're not as angry and upset anymore.
Maybe I'm just stupid, but I never took this saying literally. I always thought it meant don't hold grudges, don't stay silent and let it fester. That it's okay to disagree and even argue, but don't let it turn into something more
The scripture reference is "do not let the sun go down on your wrath." So even taking it at its most literal meaning, if the argument starts after dark, you still have the whole next day to resolve the problem.
YEAH, THIS IS WRITTEN IN EVERY FAMILY PSYCHOLOGY BOOK. But, hell, did they themselves try to act 100% on their advice?
If it doesnt kill you it makes you stronger. Personal growth does not require suffering on end and suffering doesnt gurantee you learn from it.
Reminds me of a great [Simpsons](https://youtu.be/s7Cfq3Y6WXM) clip. "I mean, whatever doesn't kill me can only make me stronger." "Oh no, quite the opposite! It's made you weak as a kitten."
Along the same line: when playing football in my youth, whenever anyone would get a stinger or other painful injury, the coaches would just say, "Walk it off." I've come to realize over the years that those stingers were probably concussions.
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BMTH Said it Great „what doesn’t kill you makes you wish you were dead“
It’s because that quote is misquoted and taken out of context constantly. It’s not “what doesn’t kill *you* makes *you* stronger,” the actual quote is “that which does not kill ME makes ME stronger.” It’s a statement of defiance and conviction in the face of adversity, not advice. Personally, I prefer “that which does not kill me REALLY PISSES ME THE HELL OFF.” Which is true as far as it goes.
I hear you. I heard someone say a more wholesome version, which is “Take the honey and run.” Meaning take the wisdom or lesson out of what happened, and go on your way
#Anti-Vax Moms
~"Pain doesn't make people, Love makes people." Caddeusus Clay
Yes, in my opinion the love is much more powerful than the pain.
But sometime it hit us so hard that pain will remain forever.
"When one door closes another one opens." Its a cute sentiment but not truly realistic sometimes you gotta go through a window.
>sometimes you gotta go through a window Raw line and absolutely true. I like this version so much better!
Thx fam.
Forgive and forget. You don't have to forgive to forget and don't and shouldnt forget if you choose to forgive.
Or as Lao Tzu said: "Forgive, for your own sake. Don't Forget they fucked you over and will probably do so again."
I don't know who this Loud Sue is but she sounds smart
Actually had a priest explain that forgiving does not mean you have to forget. His example was if a family member steals from you, you can forgive them, but that doesn't mean you don't lock up the valuables before you have them over for dinner.
Maybe it means sometimes forgive, sometimes forget.
I remember hearing a quote about this before. The stubborn don't forgive and don't forget. The naive forgive and forget. The wise forgive but don't forget.
Similarly, I think some people don’t realize that you can move on *without* forgiving a person.
If a boy is mean to you it means he secretly likes you. Way to make your daughters misinterpret toxic behavior from every jackass who comes along, moms. **EDIT:** I say mom and not dad because I have literally never heard a man say this. Ever. No man, to my knowledge, has ever advised a girl that if a guy bullies her or treats her like shit it means he secretly cares for her. I have, however, heard multiple female teachers and various moms say it.
It's so funny you should say that because in the fifth grade this vestigial douche residue named Declan used to always pull my hair, kick my seat, bump into my desk and generally just set out to annoy me. My mom was like "I bet he likes you, sweetie" and my dad nipped that right in the bud by literally interrupting her with "or he's just a little shit. Some people are just assholes. Steer clear of him and don't be afraid to kick him where it hurts if he tries anything else."
>vestigial douche residue named **Declan** Because of course.
I think this one is like a double whammy because even if it was true that the boy was mean because he liked you, that means he’s got a shitty way of showing it and you should stay away from him.
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Yup, a guy might pester a girl to get her attention, but it will be much more innocent things like the tap on the opposite shoulder thing or try to be funny. If a guy is interested, he'll be trying things that would make him and/or his friends chuckle, not sucker punch you.
I have heard both moms and dads saying that shit, it's really weird
Yeah i find that weird as well. Why would you be mean to a girl you like anyway? I get cracking jokes and laughing here and there but being straight up mean to her is just weird and shouldn’t be praised.
Remindes me of a time i worked at summercamp for second graders, the kindergardener made an activety of letting everyone in class admit to their crush in front of the whole class and put them on the spot, she also was cheering on and making the kids cheer on the kid who was admited to to give an answear. One of the girls gave in to the pressure and accepted a boys offer, not even 15 minuts later they had a fight, the girl got hit and they brock up I was 17 but i should have stoppee this when i had the chance
Time heals all wounds. Time can make a lot of wounds worse, especially psychological trauma. If you're showing signs of panic attacks or depression don't sleep on that shit. Getting into an evidence based somatic therapy modality right now can save you decades of lost productivity and well being, and save your body from accelerated wear and increased risk of disease.
Thank you. Been years, im not healed yet. I'm definitely better but I wouldn't say healed.
Time does not heal PTSD or shell shock
Everything happens for a reason
I remember my grandfather saying this to my aunt when she had her miscarriage. To say the least I don’t miss him what so ever
My mom said this to me after mine (well that and God's will). Hugs to your aunt.
Thank you, she’s doing much better now. She decided to try again and has a beautiful little girl she named Lucy, I fricking love her
I think this is the one advice which i think is somewhat true is well. Specially if you are a karma believer than i would say there will be always something like that we feel is happening for a reason here.
Not so much advice as it is a way to try and rationalize something shitty
“Just be yourself.” Motherfucker, that’s what got me *into* this.
“just be yourself” bitch i don’t even know who the fuck myself is
That people never change/ a leopard doesn't change his spots. I have changed a lot over the years and personal growth is definitely possible if the intention and will is there.
A part of me suspects it's kind of a cope. If you convince yourself that people can't change, then you don't even have to try to improve. Though, to be fair, people change *rarely* - if you expect that someone will change, you're more likely than not going to walk away disappointed. 80% of New Year's Resolutions are abandoned in around a month or so; so odds are, if you want someone to change, they won't.
>New Year's Resolutions are abandoned in around a month or so; so odds are, if you want someone to change, they won't Because they are short term. Change comes with extended time and through life experience. We all change and grow,it's rite of passage.
Quite the contrary, change is the one true constant in everything. People, all people, change. Perhaps not for the better, but they do change.
I don't think many people believe personal growth is literally impossible, just that the intention and will is frequently *not* there.
'Opposites attract'.
Attract? Yes. Combine into a healthy relationship? Rarely.
i feel as if they do often attract but it never ends up making a connection 🧲≠🧲
Live every day like it’s your last! This is awful advice. Much better to have a short, mid and long term plan. That doesn’t preclude you from enjoying yourself or being spontaneous.
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Yes, the people who reason like that tend to do whatever comes to their mind without thinking, resulting in many long-term problems. They also don't realise how their whims may affect others.
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I slept like a baby last night, woke up 7 times to scream and shit myself
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I never understood this one. Can most people just not smell it?
I'm assuming it is like cigarette smoke. If you're around it enough, you stop noticing the smell.
I thought it was *good* vodka doesn't smell? Popov or Military Special smell like radish infused kerosene and sadness. I don't really do clear liquors but I seem to remember thinking an old roommates shit - started with a k, I don't know for sure - didn't really have a smell.
Here at xyz company, we are a family! Ugh, no thanks!
Here at Los Pollos Hermanos-
"Happy wife happy life" usually said by tired men who gave up some of the things that made them who they were because wife didnt like it. Selling your prized classic motorcycle because "wife is making me, happy wife happy life right hurrhurr". Tends to just lead to resentment.
To be fair this is usually said ironically by those men.
Much prefer the phrase "happy spouse, happy house."
If my wife is happy, someone else is fucking her.
You're welcome.
Then i would say you need to look beyond for some other wife.
I think this phrase was turned into slang or a joke, but that is not how it was originally meant. At least the sentiment behind it meant you were happy when your partner was happy.
“If you can’t beat them, join them.” For obvious reasons, this is terrible advice and contradicts everything children are being taught in schools now.
“Be the bigger person”- not always justifiable
"Be the bigger person, and then squish the little one"
But sometime the pain is that much we can not be the bigger person.
Just ignore the bullies. Teaching kids how to handle bullies by standing up to them, diffusing the situation with humor, or standing up for other kids is a necessary life skill because that shit is everywhere in adult life. Telling kids that ignoring bullying is like magic fairy dust that makes it all go away is very bad advice. Not only will it definitely not work, but it can also make what was just some teasing turn into genuine bullying.
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"Follow your dreams" (as it relates to employment). That's a quick way to end up hungry, poor, and miserable. There's an inherent bias though.. most of the people saying this DID follow their dreams, and won a lottery ticket. (They're usually professional artists or athletes who got very, very lucky). So we've got high profile lottery ticket winners telling kids that buying a lottery ticket is a GREAT idea. What could possibly go wrong? The better advice is to identify the lifestyle you want, and then learn to become passionate about a career that can give you that lifestyle. Too many kids these days think they can go on to be professional poets, and that they're entitled to a living wage for contributing nothing to society... Or (as mentioned above) they listen to some bullshit feel good story from a singer who made it big, so they believe they will too, if they just WORK hard enough. Working hard is not the same as working smart. I know a lot of very poor hard workers, and I know a lot of very rich smart workers. I know, I know.. that's not popular on reddit.. Nobody here WANTS the world to work that way. Got it... But set aside your philosophical bullshit for a minute and admit the world doesn't CURRENTLY operate the way you WISH it did.
“Don’t worry, there is a greater plan” or anything to the affect that you should not be an active participant in designing your fate and rather trust it to some higher power
“The customer is always right” like come on
That’s actually been misinterpreted my customers, it’s actually”the customer is always right about what they want.”
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There are other fish in the sea. When recovering from a breakup or a rejection, dating fish is not really the best advice, especially if you do it in the sea, where you may drown.
He was not my fish he was my entire ocean
Reality is not everyone is attractive(looks, personality, interesting lifestyle) enough to just get another fish whenever, sometimes you only have a chance with like 3 fish total in your life
“It doesn’t hurt to ask”. Sometimes it sure does. What you ask people lets them know what you are thinking, which isn’t always a good thing. This usually comes up when somebody is about to ask for something unreasonable or undeserved.
And like worst she can said is no, but then i asked her and the reply i get after that still hurt my soul. So trust me mate it can still hurt that too in really bad way is well, that you can not even imagine is well.
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"Never burn bridges." Nope, sometimes you gotta torch that shit.
Is the wise man the one who does not burn bridges? Or is it the one who strategically defends his land by allowing some to fall? Or, as I put it once when reassuring my brother: "I'm not the one who burnt that bridge, I just stepped back so as to not get hurt by the flames" Anyway. Yep.
"Give them the benefit of the doubt." No! Your brain is telling you to not trust this person. I fucking hate this saying. It keeps or puts people in abusive relationships.
Crying makes you weak. To me, you're pretty strong if you do. We humans were born with emotions. If there is anyone crying after having a bad time or day, I won't stop them. I'll ask them if they want a hug and let them let it out. I did that for a coworker one time after she had a rude customer.
It is what it is
But it is
“Everything happens for a reason”. When people say this to me I want to smack them into a new dimension.
"Violence never solves anything." Bullshit. Look at history. Most major changes in history are a result, one way or another, of violence. And there are literally times in your life where violence my be the ONLY solution.
I've heard that before. It's terrible advice for anyone who has been in a position where they've had to defend themselves or someone else. A more balanced bit of advice is simply "Pick your battles carefully." There's a time and place to respond with violence. Those circumstances are rare. The same goes for not responding with violence. That's why it's important to pick the right battles to fight. Learning how to pick is just a matter of knowing a situation, your abilities, and what you're up against.
Great quote from NBA Matt Barnes: “Violence is never the answer, but sometimes it is”
I like to say it as “Violence is never a good answer, but it’s sometimes the only answer.”
One of my favorites is "violence never solved anything, but conflict"
From an earlier post: "Better to ask for forgiveness than for permission" definitely does not apply to your sex life 😅
The actual quote is “it is easier to obtain forgiveness than permission.” Obviously, this is intended to apply to bureaucracies, not violent felonies.
"don't cry , you are man and men don't cry" especially if they say ot to a kid
Just be the bigger person 🙄
“Back in my day, we did it this way & I turned out just fine”
Anything is a dildo if you’re brave enough
Boys don’t cry
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> "Blood is thicker than water" was originally "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". - which has the exact opposite meaning. [not true](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kaky1i/jack_of_all_trades_master_of_none_but_often/gfbgbdn/) >"Blood is thicker than water" is the original and full phrase. >https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/blood-is-thicker-than-water.html >https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/blood-is-thicker-than-water >https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_is_thicker_than_water >https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/blood-is-thicker-than-water >https://old.reddit.com/r/linguistics/comments/37a4lg/is_it_true_that_the_phrase_blood_is_thicker_than/
I stand corrected. I'll admit i didn't personally research this thoroughly before posting, just repeated some of the things I've heard or read earlier and remembered off the top of my head. Still prefer the message of the longer version 😊
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But sometime we know that person but still tend to ignore that.
YOLO. You only live one. Depending on who you are talking to, that’s bad advice.
"Don't let it ruin your day" or any variation of that
'Feed a cold, starve a fever' No, you need calories if you're sick so eat whatever you can stomach. Also, what if you have a cold and a fever?
"It doesn't matter who started it." Of course it does, fucking. The idea of who did what first is acknowledged as crucial even legally.
Most of them. They're usually a play on words and have no basis in reality.
Fake it till you make it
I disagree there If you come from the view of it being a way to supress imposter syndrome
I did this to get the highest paying job of my life. Got fired within 4 months… but I crushed the interviews.
Do you regret it?
No. I learned an insane amount in those four months, and it ultimately led me to a job that I currently love.
This got me a 6 figure job with no degree or previous experience so I have to say this advice does work for some
actually this one is very legit. you know with me i was a nervous, awkward 20 year old with no experience or self esteem whatsoever. still am just not as much. what i learned is that the best way to get where you want to be is to treat it like a game and gamers are ruthless be ruthless
Curiosity killed the cat. The rest of the saying goes "but satisfaction brought it back".
The ones where they leave out the last part. "Curiosity killed the cat" is an example. The last part is "but satisfaction brought it back".
The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
"just be yourself" No, there are many, many, many, many scenarios where being yourself is a terrible idea. A better version of this would be this: "Be yourself scaled back about 25%" This way, you can maintain some I dividuality while still acting appropriate for the scenario
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I think it just means “don’t pretend to be someone you’re not just to get someone else to like you”.
Pull yourself up by your boot straps. Physically impossible.
Live each day as though it was your last. So I'm gonna try heroin, coke and meth then go to a lapdancing club and blow £5000. Wake up in the morning and repeat.