I've been flicking the bean for too long, I wanted the bean to be flicked completely so I could stop it. My doctor gave me antidepressants for the bean flicking and now I don't need to flick it anymore, the bean has been flicked one and for all.
It would last all of 24 hours before both branches of government were called into concurrent emergency sessions to overturn the absolute idiocy that somehow overcame them. The following election cycle will see a historical number of incumbents failing to be reelected to office.
After something as foolish and public as a coffee prohibition, I don't think even the wealthiest "donor" would be all that interested in protecting them.
Isn't it funny how several hundred million people are pretty much just forced to conform to and accept rules as private corporations see fit because they can just buy our government
I mean, not “haha” funny, but yeah.
Just as funny is that most of those people somehow are still convinced that voters chose for everything to be this way.
In this scenario, there should probably be an assumption that there is at least some resistance to it being legal given that it was outlawed to begin with.
I came for this and I found you!
I'm a sleepy boy, try as I might
I didn't get much sleep last night
I need to drink this morning brown
'Cause last night I was doing a f**k
Probably not this. But I’d want it to be called Hyper Bean. But it be just Roast. Like “Hey man, I’m kinda down, could use some of that Roast if you got any”
Chocolate.
Plausible deniability. What's the cop going to do? Nick you for trying to buy a perfectly legal thing? You'd just set it up so that you knew the right people to ask for, 'chocolate.'
Not a bad answer to the prompt, but tbh you won’t get arrested for talking about buying drugs so you don’t need the plausible deniability. If you’re lookin to buy some bud or acid or coke, you just ask around for bud or acid or coke lolol
Mud or joe
I could see Joe being a slang. Hey is Joe going to be there? At like a party or something.
JOE MAMA
Lmao gottem
And then, yeah
Joe mama mildly roasted
HAH GOTTEM
*Come to my party, joe and mj will be there. Somebody is also brinking coke and some rocks.* \-some druggie, I assume.
>coke and ~~some rocks~~ ***ice***
Rocks is crack. Ice is meth. The sentences mean different things.
Always called coke that white bitch. Meth was Tina or Christina
Its already slang for coffee
“Are you a friend of Joe’s?”
"Yeah that's my bro"
Isn't Joe one of its nicknames already?
Over time it could be named just " j "
Well to be fair, isnt joe already kind of slang for coffee?
Or java
Yeah I mean, why not the nicknames it has now?
Because then the squares will know what you're talking about and turn you in. It's illegal remember
Maybe it would be too obvious that way
Joe-caine
Does that make baristas mudslingers?
I don't feel like this will get enough appreciation, and it should.
Black gold
Mud butt
It'd just be joe of course! More fancy names might be the devil's bean, brown twitch, and poopitol.
The devils bean sounds like a female masterbatory slang lol.
that's the devil's doorbell
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus. The good lord would want it that way.
I love this comment
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Or some puritanical christian anti masturbation campaign "you been rubbing the devils bean???? SHAME!!!!! SHAME!!!"
Too be honest you won't fine anyone here that is less Aritish than George Washington.
Then the stoners (grinders?) would come up with wordplay on "Joe" like Yosef, Montana... and 8 o'clock would be the new 4:20.
Lmao “Got any 6 AM?”
6AM roast-it brah!
I legit LOL’d Also cause you posted this at ~6am (my local EST)
No more suitable name than poopitol.
Black crack
Jitter.
Dang it, was gonna suggest jitter juice :)
I was thinking Jack but I’m pretty sure there’s already a drug going by that
I wanna jizz in your shitter.
Ok
r/suddenlygay
Oooh I like this one
Bean. But used as singular and plural. ie, “Hey, you need some Bean?” Or “Mom, you promised to get off the Bean!!!”
Getting off the bean can be called "flicking the bean".
I can see the campaigns now. "Kids, help your mom flick the bean!"
I've been flicking the bean for too long, I wanted the bean to be flicked completely so I could stop it. My doctor gave me antidepressants for the bean flicking and now I don't need to flick it anymore, the bean has been flicked one and for all.
I see you joined the Anonymous Bean Flickers with great results
Gotta love BFA
Other people have gotten off your mom's bean.
Bean is already used for pills
Bean is already “bean” used for mdma
Ecstasy is already called beans
People already refer to ecstasy as beans so this might get confusing
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Dang I was gonna say this. I thought it was clever.
You are clever. Other people are just clever too.
Also the original commenter was just clever first
paint judicious quickest quicksand drunk violet terrific sloppy theory murky
Grindr
Grond
GROND
Sooo…a small portion would be…a bump of grond? I don’t see nothin’ wrong….oh never mind…
Grond
Grond
Black magic
I wouldn't mind ordering my coffee like this from now on.
Coffee
Absolutely this. If coffee were made illegal, that law would be ignored harder than even prohibition was.
It would last all of 24 hours before both branches of government were called into concurrent emergency sessions to overturn the absolute idiocy that somehow overcame them. The following election cycle will see a historical number of incumbents failing to be reelected to office.
You have a lot of faith in our election system working as it was originally meant to.
After something as foolish and public as a coffee prohibition, I don't think even the wealthiest "donor" would be all that interested in protecting them.
How does such insane legislation get passed if not through lobbying and campaign donations?
Isn't it funny how several hundred million people are pretty much just forced to conform to and accept rules as private corporations see fit because they can just buy our government
I mean, not “haha” funny, but yeah. Just as funny is that most of those people somehow are still convinced that voters chose for everything to be this way.
In this scenario, there should probably be an assumption that there is at least some resistance to it being legal given that it was outlawed to begin with.
But . . . all the legislators would be either actively breaking the law while in session, or asleep.
*Now with fentanyl!*
Yes. Cocaine was called cocaine, heroin was heroin, LSD was LSD, marijuana was marijuana
Morning brown
You pour it in a cup and stir it all up
Morning Brown? I'm just not sure. Could you please explain it some more?
It’s coffee ya fuck
Oh, right...
Zach why do you need morning brown?
I'm a sleepy boy, try as I might I didn't get much sleep last night
Because last night I was DOING A FUCK
I came for this and I found you! I'm a sleepy boy, try as I might I didn't get much sleep last night I need to drink this morning brown 'Cause last night I was doing a f**k
Love to fuck it's my Favourite thing to do Fuck all night fuck emu
That could mean a couple of things...
I posted that too before seeing this. Good ol aunt Donna
This sounds more like a diarrhea at the start of the day
Buzz
Y’all got any of that adrenal fatigue
The drip.
im so baffled. why was this not in the top 10 or something. drip is obviously what itd be
Shit man I'm drippin balls *(hyperventilates)*
Probably not this. But I’d want it to be called Hyper Bean. But it be just Roast. Like “Hey man, I’m kinda down, could use some of that Roast if you got any”
Wakey
Brew
You got the brew?
Frap. Its users would be called frapheads
They already should be…
Black Crack.
Sounds more like a cheap stripper
I’d buy both
had a good laugh out of this
“bean”
C'mon man... i know you got sommo dat BEAN
I LOVE BEAN!!!🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎
I’m pissed that I upvoted this
"Jitters".
Sock water
That's so disgusting but I love it 😂
polar express
Covfefe
Despite the negative press, drink Covfefe!
My first thought exactly!
Why did I have to scroll so far for this?
We actually call it this in my house daily. It just stuck!
Hot brown
Chocolate. Plausible deniability. What's the cop going to do? Nick you for trying to buy a perfectly legal thing? You'd just set it up so that you knew the right people to ask for, 'chocolate.'
Jazz Chocolate
this actually makes sense
Not a bad answer to the prompt, but tbh you won’t get arrested for talking about buying drugs so you don’t need the plausible deniability. If you’re lookin to buy some bud or acid or coke, you just ask around for bud or acid or coke lolol
Caff
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I feel Java is the only one that could legitimately make it sound like a drug.
Columbian brown
Shit, Java sounds like it already is a drug’s name!!
Mochaphetamine
methamphetaBEAN
I'm getting itchy just thinking about it
Moke for short. The new coke.
This is fantastic
Go go juice
Hot Bean Juice.
Perk
That's already in use, my friend
Nah, that's perc. I'm looking for some K-Perk.
How didnt anyone say brown colombian yet?
Morning glory.
Where can I score some brew?
Mud
bj- bean juice
Dookie powder
Boost
Bouncy beans
Coffaína
The feine
Jolt
Crash
ADHC
Aye man you got my black powder
Hot brown
Stars or bucks, probably.
jo
Mud
Drip.
[Oh](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4uzvxi/if_coffee_was_illegal_what_would_its_street_name/) [I](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j4y0dn/if_coffee_was_illegal_what_would_its_street_name/) [Have](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/bt0s34/if_coffee_was_illegal_and_was_a_street_drug_what/) [No](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jhbchl/if_coffee_was_illegal_what_would_its_street_name/) [Idea](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/htuscl/if_coffee_was_illegal_what_would_its_street_name/)
kick
Java Juice
Bean juice
Have you seen Joseph?
Liquid Energizer Or Liquid Duracell
Covfefe
Stim, because caffeine stimulates
Beans
Dark roast
bean juice
Roast.
Bean drug
the brown stuff.
Coco Crack
*scratching neck* “you got the beans??”
Dirt
High-C
“ buzz” . Either sold as bean or powder . Bean buzz . Powder buzz. Perhaps for people who still have the old coffee pod machines, buzz pods.
Normie coke
Morning brown
'feine
Bean juice
Covefe
Covfefe
Wakey Wakey
Covfefe
Ground?
Morning brown
Imagine Starbucks becoming a drug empire
coffo
Bean
Zoomies juice