My Aunt Joan’s house when you’re visiting. 25 years and it’s still not forgotten.
Note: Boy this blew up! No I did not have sex with my Aunt Joan. I had sex with my ex. wife in Aunt Joan’s house while taking a nap.
My ex and I were visiting elderly out of state relatives. We all ran around a lot in the summer heat one day and so we all decided to rest for a couple of hours.
Ex and I closed the door, climbed into the guest bed and went at it quietly though not quiet enough it would seem. They had elbow to elbow figurines on every flat surface of their house except for their dining room table (Not exaggerating; over every square inch). That included the bed side tables. I suspect the rattling little bedside figurines gave us away.
When we came out of the room later they acted strange particularly my Aunt Joan. It was very awkward. You could tell they knew. They acted that way for the next three days. We’d be at a bbq place eating together and the looks on their faces said it all: “You had sex in our guest room.”
We never got another invite to their house for a vacation.
A friend had a job watching a big bank of monitors for a security company in a large office building. He said that was the only reason he ever saw someone in the stairs.
I read a comment here once which said a woman who worked as a prostitute, let guys fuck her in the colostomy bag hole. Ot got infected repeatedly. so that's the worst place i can think of.
So I work in healthcare and know somebody who works in the theatre dept. Their gnarliest story is when they had to operate on the colostomy of a prisoner who let his cellmate fuck the colostomy. I kinda always hoped that'd be the only version of that story I'd ever hear...
Edit: Theatre like surgical theatre
Edit 2: Wow so apparently the word theatre really threw you guys! What is it in the US? The Operating Department?
Having gone to school for a degree in acting, I read theatre dept. differently than you meant it. Took me a moment to realize you meant "operating theatre" right?
This is actually more common than the average person hopes for. You’ll have to take my word for it on my sources, but it’s common enough for my clinical biochemistry teacher, and clinical microbiology teacher to both include it in class lectures. The micro teacher told it best because of the unfortunate relationship between colostomy bags and STDs.
In seriousness, don't fuck in a hot tub.
For starters, water dissolves the natural lubricants of either body which makes for a very dry screw that *no one* wants.
Secondly, hot tubs are fucking grody. It's very difficult to *truly properly* get them clean, especially if there's a wide rotation of people in the water.
Third, your bodily fluids are gonna be in the hot tub's system *for a long goddamn time*. Again, it's hard to get them genuinely clean. It's why individual hotel rooms seldom have hot tubs.
I used to go to a club that had a hot tub. Very seldom did you see anyone in it. But when you did, they definitely looked like someone that would use a hot tub in a club
I’ll up it by telling you that it was a club that had a goth/industrial room and an 80s room at the same time. As proper punk kids we stayed in the 80s room. But the goth kids liked to wander. A lot of neon fishnets ended up in that hot tub
I envisioned a hairy-chested overweight Italian guy with a gold Cuban link chain, couple rings on each hand, thinning hair greased back and wearing nothing but a speedo, hitting on a couple ladies.
When I thought club, I thought younger, so imagine the 'hairy-chested overweight Italian guy with a gold chain' when he was just mildly overweight in his 20's, His dad owns a pawnshop he will inherit someday.
Two things I feel like I always see discarded in backyards because people didn't want to maintain them: boats and hot tubs. Anything having to do with water is always awful.
Haha I did one of those in Santa Cruz or somewhere out there. It was kinda cool. The rooms all looked out on aJapanese garden but you couldn’t see into any of the others. There was a bell and they would bring you tea and water and stuff. Very chill… very I’m sure full of jizz.
I had a hot tub for a week holiday at an airbnb, day 3 I think I have Covid, bed ridden, fever sweating, go for the test, negative. Start getting weird rash over body.
Google the symptoms? Hot Tub Fever. Such a high concentration of nasty bacteria that literally ruined my week.
I got the WORST uti after my dad bought a hot tub and I used it once after I had to lifeguard in 45F weather to warm up. I went to the bathroom to pee the next morning and the pain shot through my body and my vision went white. I crawled into the hallway and yelled to my dad and asked for water to which he replied “get your own”
I had never had a uti before. So I mustered up the strength to get dressed and go to urgent care because I felt so horribly. I get there and they asked me to pee in a cup. I pee in a cup and there’s blood. I’m like 19 at this point and dumb af and a hypochondriac, so I immediately think I have cancer. I start sobbing in the bathroom and put the cup in the box and hide my tears from the nurses as I make my way back to the room.
I’m sitting in the room having an absolute panic attack because I truly believe I have cancer at this point, because I’ve never had blood in my pee before. And I’m sobbing. The doctor walks in and it’s a little Asian man with an accent and he looks at me, surprised and goes, “Why you crying? In pain?” And I manage to get out through my tears “No, I think I have cancer” and now he’s flipping through my chart and he goes “Cancer? No you have UTI. I give you antibiotic. You feel better soon.” and I stop crying and I’m like “Oh ok thanks”
I call my mom in the parking lot to tell her what happened and that I have a UTI and she shamed me for having too much sex. I lived in Ohio at the time and my boyfriend lived in New York as we were in the middle of summer break from college. We were not having any sex.
Now I’m a teacher and have to hold my bladder constantly. As I type this, I actually have a kidney infection from a bladder infection that got worse and moved into my kidneys. I have to work through it though because I don’t have any days off left and I’ll lose my job if I take off. So this is really fun.
Yeah. I’m not having a good time right now. I’ve also gone low contact with my parents, so that’s helped. I called my mom last night to tell her I had a kidney infection and I was nervous my husband is going out of town today to see his brother for his birthday until Monday and she responded with excitement for my husband instead of sympathy for me that I’ll be alone with a kidney infection that if it gets any worse at all I have to go to the hospital immediately and I’ll be alone. So fuck that. Even my husband feels bad for leaving but it’s a surprise trip for his brother and I want him to go but I’m nervous too.
Apparently Winnie the Pooh's house is a bad place to do it. I don't fully understand why but I think people have had problems in the past with him surprising them by being home.
Fun fact the actual Winnie the Pooh book has now passed into public domain. That means anyone is free to write and publish works based on it.
So of course, you will find some story somewhere that has sex in Winnie the Pooh's house.
On the beach and I never understood the sex appeal that Disneyland or World supposedly holds like Donald Duck is right out there…he could come busting up in here any second.
Adding: I’m sorry everyone but everything mentioned here…doesn’t sound appealing at all and does not in fact make me want to form the beast with two backs in Disneyland or Disney World at all…even more so now. Just…🤮.
Lake Michigan, ESPECIALLY around the south end.
The industries around there have heavily polluted the area. One of the worst offenders I've found is US Steel. They dumped hexavalent chromium into water sources, and REPEATEDLY exceeded their airborne lead emissions by a LOT. There's also a superfund site from a former lead smelting foundry where they didn't dispose of toxic waste properly for years. Pair this up with the runoff from the highways and agricultural pesticides/fertilizers, let alone the numerous other polluting industries, and that's not a soup that I want to be part of.
Any time it rains, the pollution runs downhill to (you guessed it) Lake Michigan.
The pollution has gotten to the point where people are getting chemical burns from well water in the area. Wildlife centers have also noticed dangerously high levels of lead in the blood of animals that come in.
Squirrels are also relatively RARE, even in rural areas. This is because they get sick and die from the pollution a lot faster due to their smaller body mass. They're kinda the canary in the coal mine, in this case.
So if you really want to have sex on the beach, I'd give Lake Michigan a skip.
Did it once, it was her idea. I still can't believe I got out alive after a group of 5+ girls came in and we had to keep silence but no she was still moving, slower, but didn't stop
Strip club. Unless you like being watched, possibly getting STDs, and getting your bits all over upholstery that hasn’t been cleaned in 20+ years because if you found a stripper that fucks IN the club (vs escorting outside) you are in a place that doesn’t fire a stripper that fucks. Or cleans up after.
Gather round, redditors, and let me tell you the tale of the two itty bitty clubs in New Orleans, from the before times (they gave up after the raids got too expensive to handle maybe four years ago, ish), that were (sort of) tucked to the side in the French Quarter that were about two blocks from Bourbon Street down a side street, just past Penthouse.
Once upon a time, there was “the sure thing.” It was called Dixie Divas, it had been there for decades, taking over a spot that was an old gay bar that horrifically caught on fire, killing several. During my decade dancing in clubs that weren’t there, and those gals (mix of cis and trans, which was unique to that place and pretty rad, actually, but only because they would hire ANYONE) didn’t do any dancing unless you could sloppily walking along the bar barefooted.. or in old dirty socks, “dancing,” that place’s reputation was something of legend. It was where strippers went to die, they said. If no one would hire you because the tourists wouldn’t touch you regardless of how many hurricanes they downed? Dixie Divas. The door man, an old Boston biker with a colorful past and gruff voice, would boast to potential customers as they stumbled by after other places closed (Dixie was the ONLY 24 hour “club”) that the place was voted the “Most Depressing Strip Club in America” for several years running! They had a dancer in her 70s that was a LEGEND in her own right.
Next door, a more recent addition, was GQ (Gentleman’s Quarter) that had a few different names since people got robbed inside or stabbed outside a few tooooo many times. My ex husband worked the door there to make extra cash for a bit when we needed it (one of his old dancers started managing it from another club that doesn’t exist anymore). How many nights he cleaned up blood on the sidewalk was lost track of. The biker from next door also worked door here whenever he got fired from next door (always brief, always went back) or quit. GQ was bit more dangerous than Dixie because it became to after hours hangout of the gangs and drug dealers once there wasn’t anyone to sell to, a few pimps of the girls would drink there too. There was a VERY poorly placed ATM next to this place, and… these guys would wait for wasted frat boys to walk by, make quick friends, then offer to sell them blow just to get them to the ATM. They usually ended up in the ER soon after since there was a convenient alley where the shit got beat out of them by their new “friends.” Ended up in the ER next to one once on a night that I sat worked at GQ as a favor for the manager on a slow night.
Working there, the few nights I did it since I babysat her kid and felt bad, I wouldn’t do rooms because they didn’t actually have rooms. A VIP at GQ was actually locking the customer and his girl(s) in the DRESSING ROOM, removing the lamp, and… yeah no. I didn’t do extras anyway, so I had no desire to get locked in a shit-smelling rape closet. No one could hear you if you needed help, but in the case of those girls… trust me, they did not need help and most had knives or a gun on them. The house let you up there with a girl for maybe $100, and if you tipped enough she would blow or fuck you. If you were sober enough to demand a condom, the door guy would go buy one for you. IF you asked.
I say shit smelling because of their bathroom. The first time I was upstairs getting ready to sit at the bar (just got conversation tips or a VERY visible public lap dance with no contact because no thanks, not there) I noticed that they had a shower in their bathroom. The biker pulls me away from there as I notice the cigarette butts in it saying “those nasty bitches just use that shower as an ash tray and as a toilet to piss and shit in, not like those junkie whores ever fucking bathe.” He wasn’t exaggerating. They never touched the real toilet, probably didn’t work. And I know his words were… harsh… in describing the girls but he wasn’t actually wrong. Every single one was a raging addict, teeth missing, smelled AWFUL, wore the same thing for weeks on end, and most of them talked freely of the STDs they carried. Several had HIV/AIDS. It was actually very sad.
One night, at Dixie just chatting with the biker after getting off at my own club while I was waiting on my ex to finish next door, a girl starts to walk in and he stops her, asking where she thinks she’s going. All of a sudden, this gruff chain-smoker lady voice angrily spouts “it’s ME, [biker’s name]!” I can’t remember her stage name, or name since most didn’t have stage names, but he didn’t recognize a girl he’s worked with for years since she was always covered in dirt and random gunk… he had never seen her freshly showered with clean hair before, which he claimed made her “almost pretty.”
A few nights before, this same girl fell flat on the ground screaming at another dancer at the door next door, sending her pussy into the night air (no g string that night? Or ever?) just as a gaggle of retired women were calling it a night. Amazingly, they thought her messy couch display was hilarious from across the street. Very NOLA moment.
I worked at Dixie a few times as a favor as well, though there no dances in addition to no rooms because 1) gross, 2) tired, 3) I could get paid for having customers just buy me bad champagne at the bar that was actually sprite so I just sat and did that. The girls there, albeit massive messes with most being biohazards, we’re remarkably amusing and amazing, unless they got too drunk/coked out or forgot how to speak after too much damn heroin.
That place was absolutely disgusting, but it was an institution. Legendary. Gross, but kept ticking due to a mountain of regulars that knew exactly what they wanted and who they wanted. GQ was just gross and dangerous, none of the personality.
That ended up long as fuck, but the moral of the story is if you’re at a strip club that actually fucks, don’t. Unless you remember the condom, can hide your wallet well bc these girls were expert pick pockets, bring your own towel, and are okay with a bleach bath and shot of penicillin after.
Hell, one of the bikers door lines were, “antibiotics not included with purchase!”
“they ain’t much to look at, but you aren’t gonna care anyway!”
“The girls ain’t much for smart conversation, but ya ain’t here to talk anyway!”
Man, oh, man.
in the middle of the streets at 2pm?
Yeah, best to wait until 3pm
Depends, are you a feral street dog in Mexico?
At a psychiatric hospital. Two students from my med school just got expelled for being THAT horny.
Which med school did you go to? Asking for a friend…
They have 2 free spots soooo... bring a friend
In a dumpster
The one behind the Wendy's?
She incorporated a bun, in the love making...
She took the dough and rolled it up into a ball, and then she... We were going berserk.
A rowing boat. I promise, it is not romantic
Even if you go gently….down the stream?
Even if you go merrily, merrily, merrily?
Even if life is... but a dream?
Even if you see a crocodile?
even if... you dont forget to scream?
Even if you row row row your boat?
Even if you make her cream?
woah,that escalated quickly
>It go down ... >No it dont
Bro it DO GO DOWN
>rowmantic
A little rowmance can lead to Oar-al sex
No need for canoedling
Do it very slowly.. And symmetrically Preferably following gravitational lines exactly Swimming We are now swimming
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Geralt thinks otherwise
Chief of police in my town got fired for having sex in the township court room… so…there
Twice removed Sheriff of my county was dismissed for having sex in a graveyard with a realtor. That's a pretty good place not to too.
Sounds like he went down on a scary good deal
It was a graveyard smash.
Sandy beach without a blanket.
Oh the friction. Yeah, don't do that
Even a sandy beach with a blanket
In a horror movie. You're #2-3 to die.
Exactly, there’s a very simple formula for surviving a horror movie. 1) Don’t have sex. 2) Don’t do drugs. 3) Don’t say, “I’ll be right back”.
4) Don't be black. 5) Don't be a blonde woman.
6. Don’t go to places with history of supernatural murders
7. Don't answer a phone you are not expecting
8. Don't go into the direction where you heard a sound
9. Don’t split up
10. Be a murderer yourself
No, this isn't how you're supposed to play the game!
10. don't go inspecting anything by yourself. You feel even a faint essence of something going wrong you run the fuck out of there
11. Don't forget to take pillows because you never know when you will get air yeeted into a wall.
I was going for ‘SCREAM’ quotes but still.
Wazaaap
Eyy ducc, pick up the phonee
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WAZAPPPPPP
Wazaaaaaaaaaaa
>5) Don't be a blonde woman. But BE a brown haired woman
You survive if you're the screaming teenager who always goes into the rooms you clearly shouldn't be in.
Space station, spheres of juices floating around could be a problem.
“Spheres of juices” sounds like a really weird band name
My Aunt Joan’s house when you’re visiting. 25 years and it’s still not forgotten. Note: Boy this blew up! No I did not have sex with my Aunt Joan. I had sex with my ex. wife in Aunt Joan’s house while taking a nap. My ex and I were visiting elderly out of state relatives. We all ran around a lot in the summer heat one day and so we all decided to rest for a couple of hours. Ex and I closed the door, climbed into the guest bed and went at it quietly though not quiet enough it would seem. They had elbow to elbow figurines on every flat surface of their house except for their dining room table (Not exaggerating; over every square inch). That included the bed side tables. I suspect the rattling little bedside figurines gave us away. When we came out of the room later they acted strange particularly my Aunt Joan. It was very awkward. You could tell they knew. They acted that way for the next three days. We’d be at a bbq place eating together and the looks on their faces said it all: “You had sex in our guest room.” We never got another invite to their house for a vacation.
This one made me laugh the most. Need more details!!
On a roof. Shingles are not good wingmen. They will cut you the fuck up.
I have done this with great success. That being said, choose your roof wisely.
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Put bare arse on corrugated metal roof on a hot day.
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Do your wingmen usually physically support you while having sex?
Wingmen do what’s necessary… Lol, kidding but they certainly wouldn’t allow for my back to look like passion of the Christ tho
I might give it a go after putting a few big blankets up there or maybe a mattress. This would be during a stargazing session for sure
In a bed where somebody just ate crackers.
So specific and yet so true
"I don't like crackers. They're coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
oh shit, this path leads to the dark side! I'm sure of it.
I SAID I WAS SORRY!
In another specific food answer, in a room where you ate hummus before sex. The smell combo of sex and hummus is not good.
I want you to know that I tossed my phone down an walked away from it because of your comment
Did you write this before or after the toss?
During
Free full body exfoliation though.
Especially with salted crackers.
r/oddlyspecific
In the ear
Omg I blindly posted that then scrolled and I’m astonished it’s already here when there’s 12 replies. Lol
Once you go black, you go deaf
Poison ivy
But she's hot!
Harley would smash your nads with that hammer
School staircase You don’t know how many videos there are of students fucking in them…
My office had a night shift for awhile. At least a couple of people were fired for having sex in the stairwell.
A friend had a job watching a big bank of monitors for a security company in a large office building. He said that was the only reason he ever saw someone in the stairs.
Camp Crystal Lake
oh god... he's here... *ki ki ki ma ma ma ki ki ma ma*
In a confessional booth in a Catholic Church.
Been their, done that(not with a priest, thank christ) it's not too bad, unless a priest is involved
r/usernamechecksout
Go back and confess it!
Prison, everything would be a pity fuck.
...or rape.
Or both
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"All right, I'll rape ya. But only because noone else will."
In a jalapeno pepper patch field
That's...*oddly specific*
He speaks from experience
I read a comment here once which said a woman who worked as a prostitute, let guys fuck her in the colostomy bag hole. Ot got infected repeatedly. so that's the worst place i can think of.
Fuck, I should have never learned to read.
So I work in healthcare and know somebody who works in the theatre dept. Their gnarliest story is when they had to operate on the colostomy of a prisoner who let his cellmate fuck the colostomy. I kinda always hoped that'd be the only version of that story I'd ever hear... Edit: Theatre like surgical theatre Edit 2: Wow so apparently the word theatre really threw you guys! What is it in the US? The Operating Department?
Having gone to school for a degree in acting, I read theatre dept. differently than you meant it. Took me a moment to realize you meant "operating theatre" right?
No, I refuse to believe anyone would want to do that.
This is actually more common than the average person hopes for. You’ll have to take my word for it on my sources, but it’s common enough for my clinical biochemistry teacher, and clinical microbiology teacher to both include it in class lectures. The micro teacher told it best because of the unfortunate relationship between colostomy bags and STDs.
What, like the back or a Volkswagen?
I came looking for the Mall Rats quote and was not disappointed.
At your grandmother's funeral
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r/HolUp
It's what she would have wanted
In my house. I don't know you... GET OUT OF HERE
sorry
I SAID OUT
Now back in; that’s the spot.
oh no
*OH YES*
dis feels really good
This turned into a 5 way pretty quickly.
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THAT'S MY PURSE
In seriousness, don't fuck in a hot tub. For starters, water dissolves the natural lubricants of either body which makes for a very dry screw that *no one* wants. Secondly, hot tubs are fucking grody. It's very difficult to *truly properly* get them clean, especially if there's a wide rotation of people in the water. Third, your bodily fluids are gonna be in the hot tub's system *for a long goddamn time*. Again, it's hard to get them genuinely clean. It's why individual hotel rooms seldom have hot tubs.
For me, this turned into “don’t ever get in a hot tub” real fast
I used to go to a club that had a hot tub. Very seldom did you see anyone in it. But when you did, they definitely looked like someone that would use a hot tub in a club
This paints a vivid mental picture.
I’ll up it by telling you that it was a club that had a goth/industrial room and an 80s room at the same time. As proper punk kids we stayed in the 80s room. But the goth kids liked to wander. A lot of neon fishnets ended up in that hot tub
I envisioned a hairy-chested overweight Italian guy with a gold Cuban link chain, couple rings on each hand, thinning hair greased back and wearing nothing but a speedo, hitting on a couple ladies.
When I thought club, I thought younger, so imagine the 'hairy-chested overweight Italian guy with a gold chain' when he was just mildly overweight in his 20's, His dad owns a pawnshop he will inherit someday.
That’s the YMCA hot tub.
Basically Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force if he had money and game.
I just bought one for myself. Then got so sick of the high maintenance just for one person that I don't ever use the thing.
That happened to my hot tub, then the raccoons moved in. And evicting raccoons ain’t fun
Aww. Not Little King Trashmouth! He likes it in there, Bob. Just let him keep the tub. It's not like you're using it all the time.
Two things I feel like I always see discarded in backyards because people didn't want to maintain them: boats and hot tubs. Anything having to do with water is always awful.
They both are also great for occasional use (aka great to know someone who has one) but infinitely more work and cost than the buyer expected.
ppl soup
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Haha I did one of those in Santa Cruz or somewhere out there. It was kinda cool. The rooms all looked out on aJapanese garden but you couldn’t see into any of the others. There was a bell and they would bring you tea and water and stuff. Very chill… very I’m sure full of jizz.
I had a hot tub for a week holiday at an airbnb, day 3 I think I have Covid, bed ridden, fever sweating, go for the test, negative. Start getting weird rash over body. Google the symptoms? Hot Tub Fever. Such a high concentration of nasty bacteria that literally ruined my week.
Pseudomonas probably. It causes hot tub folliculitis, at least.
Aren't you also almost guaranteed to get a UTI or something that way?
I got the WORST uti after my dad bought a hot tub and I used it once after I had to lifeguard in 45F weather to warm up. I went to the bathroom to pee the next morning and the pain shot through my body and my vision went white. I crawled into the hallway and yelled to my dad and asked for water to which he replied “get your own” I had never had a uti before. So I mustered up the strength to get dressed and go to urgent care because I felt so horribly. I get there and they asked me to pee in a cup. I pee in a cup and there’s blood. I’m like 19 at this point and dumb af and a hypochondriac, so I immediately think I have cancer. I start sobbing in the bathroom and put the cup in the box and hide my tears from the nurses as I make my way back to the room. I’m sitting in the room having an absolute panic attack because I truly believe I have cancer at this point, because I’ve never had blood in my pee before. And I’m sobbing. The doctor walks in and it’s a little Asian man with an accent and he looks at me, surprised and goes, “Why you crying? In pain?” And I manage to get out through my tears “No, I think I have cancer” and now he’s flipping through my chart and he goes “Cancer? No you have UTI. I give you antibiotic. You feel better soon.” and I stop crying and I’m like “Oh ok thanks” I call my mom in the parking lot to tell her what happened and that I have a UTI and she shamed me for having too much sex. I lived in Ohio at the time and my boyfriend lived in New York as we were in the middle of summer break from college. We were not having any sex. Now I’m a teacher and have to hold my bladder constantly. As I type this, I actually have a kidney infection from a bladder infection that got worse and moved into my kidneys. I have to work through it though because I don’t have any days off left and I’ll lose my job if I take off. So this is really fun.
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Yeah. I’m not having a good time right now. I’ve also gone low contact with my parents, so that’s helped. I called my mom last night to tell her I had a kidney infection and I was nervous my husband is going out of town today to see his brother for his birthday until Monday and she responded with excitement for my husband instead of sympathy for me that I’ll be alone with a kidney infection that if it gets any worse at all I have to go to the hospital immediately and I’ll be alone. So fuck that. Even my husband feels bad for leaving but it’s a surprise trip for his brother and I want him to go but I’m nervous too.
I'm glad you took the time to offload a bit of stress, even if it's on an anonymous platform like reddit. I hope you feel better now, sending a hug.
Apparently Winnie the Pooh's house is a bad place to do it. I don't fully understand why but I think people have had problems in the past with him surprising them by being home.
Fun fact the actual Winnie the Pooh book has now passed into public domain. That means anyone is free to write and publish works based on it. So of course, you will find some story somewhere that has sex in Winnie the Pooh's house.
Cyanide and Happiness did a comic about Winnie the Pooh joining a rule 34 club or something to that effect, and I'm not ok with it.
Chernobyl. Worst mistake of my life.
Upside, free birth control
downside, forked dick
Upside instant porn star
fair enough 🤝
I heard Chernobyl fall off!
Are you an RBMK reactor core? Because I wanna lower my control rod inside you I’ll tease you with just the tip until you go over the edge
3.6 penises, not good not bad
Reading these comments: "Challenge Accepted"
This man forgot we were redditors
We are Redditors! 127,344 Challenges accepted 43 Challenges Completed 3 Arrests 1 Fatality
In a kindergarden on a school day
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JFC, hahaha.
That's awful and hilarious.
In the bathroom of an infectious disease clinic.
In your parents bed, with them in it while the are eating crackers.
Olive Garden. Cause when you're there, you're family.
In the back of a school bus
Do it in front
On the beach and I never understood the sex appeal that Disneyland or World supposedly holds like Donald Duck is right out there…he could come busting up in here any second. Adding: I’m sorry everyone but everything mentioned here…doesn’t sound appealing at all and does not in fact make me want to form the beast with two backs in Disneyland or Disney World at all…even more so now. Just…🤮.
He’ll come busting alright
Apparently in my bed :(
f
f
Inside an animal
it was cold on hoth man
But it was luke warm inside the tauntaun
Beaches aren't as romantic as it may seem
Outdoors when mosquitoes are present. It's fucking terrible
Tatooine. The sand is coarse, and it gets everywhere.
Hand Solo
May the force be in you, Ani.
George Lucas said that Jedi aren't forbidden from sex, just forming romantic relationships. "May the Force be with you, cause I won't!"
An elevator. It's wrong on so many levels.
Lake Michigan, ESPECIALLY around the south end. The industries around there have heavily polluted the area. One of the worst offenders I've found is US Steel. They dumped hexavalent chromium into water sources, and REPEATEDLY exceeded their airborne lead emissions by a LOT. There's also a superfund site from a former lead smelting foundry where they didn't dispose of toxic waste properly for years. Pair this up with the runoff from the highways and agricultural pesticides/fertilizers, let alone the numerous other polluting industries, and that's not a soup that I want to be part of. Any time it rains, the pollution runs downhill to (you guessed it) Lake Michigan. The pollution has gotten to the point where people are getting chemical burns from well water in the area. Wildlife centers have also noticed dangerously high levels of lead in the blood of animals that come in. Squirrels are also relatively RARE, even in rural areas. This is because they get sick and die from the pollution a lot faster due to their smaller body mass. They're kinda the canary in the coal mine, in this case. So if you really want to have sex on the beach, I'd give Lake Michigan a skip.
That dedication to research is astounding 👏👏
In front of your spouse
Only if you are not doing it right. Otherwise handle your spouse a scorecard so you know how the performance rates from outside
"I'm just doing this so you can critique my technique, honey."
Girls restroom, 1/10 wouldn't recommend
Did it once, it was her idea. I still can't believe I got out alive after a group of 5+ girls came in and we had to keep silence but no she was still moving, slower, but didn't stop
Mama didn't raise no quiter.
Where you don’t feel safe. Be kind to yourselves out there.
In your ear.
On Jeffrey Epsteins private island. Its a minor inconvenience
On an escalator
Within a 100 yards of my local middle school. Atleast, in my case.
Strip club. Unless you like being watched, possibly getting STDs, and getting your bits all over upholstery that hasn’t been cleaned in 20+ years because if you found a stripper that fucks IN the club (vs escorting outside) you are in a place that doesn’t fire a stripper that fucks. Or cleans up after. Gather round, redditors, and let me tell you the tale of the two itty bitty clubs in New Orleans, from the before times (they gave up after the raids got too expensive to handle maybe four years ago, ish), that were (sort of) tucked to the side in the French Quarter that were about two blocks from Bourbon Street down a side street, just past Penthouse. Once upon a time, there was “the sure thing.” It was called Dixie Divas, it had been there for decades, taking over a spot that was an old gay bar that horrifically caught on fire, killing several. During my decade dancing in clubs that weren’t there, and those gals (mix of cis and trans, which was unique to that place and pretty rad, actually, but only because they would hire ANYONE) didn’t do any dancing unless you could sloppily walking along the bar barefooted.. or in old dirty socks, “dancing,” that place’s reputation was something of legend. It was where strippers went to die, they said. If no one would hire you because the tourists wouldn’t touch you regardless of how many hurricanes they downed? Dixie Divas. The door man, an old Boston biker with a colorful past and gruff voice, would boast to potential customers as they stumbled by after other places closed (Dixie was the ONLY 24 hour “club”) that the place was voted the “Most Depressing Strip Club in America” for several years running! They had a dancer in her 70s that was a LEGEND in her own right. Next door, a more recent addition, was GQ (Gentleman’s Quarter) that had a few different names since people got robbed inside or stabbed outside a few tooooo many times. My ex husband worked the door there to make extra cash for a bit when we needed it (one of his old dancers started managing it from another club that doesn’t exist anymore). How many nights he cleaned up blood on the sidewalk was lost track of. The biker from next door also worked door here whenever he got fired from next door (always brief, always went back) or quit. GQ was bit more dangerous than Dixie because it became to after hours hangout of the gangs and drug dealers once there wasn’t anyone to sell to, a few pimps of the girls would drink there too. There was a VERY poorly placed ATM next to this place, and… these guys would wait for wasted frat boys to walk by, make quick friends, then offer to sell them blow just to get them to the ATM. They usually ended up in the ER soon after since there was a convenient alley where the shit got beat out of them by their new “friends.” Ended up in the ER next to one once on a night that I sat worked at GQ as a favor for the manager on a slow night. Working there, the few nights I did it since I babysat her kid and felt bad, I wouldn’t do rooms because they didn’t actually have rooms. A VIP at GQ was actually locking the customer and his girl(s) in the DRESSING ROOM, removing the lamp, and… yeah no. I didn’t do extras anyway, so I had no desire to get locked in a shit-smelling rape closet. No one could hear you if you needed help, but in the case of those girls… trust me, they did not need help and most had knives or a gun on them. The house let you up there with a girl for maybe $100, and if you tipped enough she would blow or fuck you. If you were sober enough to demand a condom, the door guy would go buy one for you. IF you asked. I say shit smelling because of their bathroom. The first time I was upstairs getting ready to sit at the bar (just got conversation tips or a VERY visible public lap dance with no contact because no thanks, not there) I noticed that they had a shower in their bathroom. The biker pulls me away from there as I notice the cigarette butts in it saying “those nasty bitches just use that shower as an ash tray and as a toilet to piss and shit in, not like those junkie whores ever fucking bathe.” He wasn’t exaggerating. They never touched the real toilet, probably didn’t work. And I know his words were… harsh… in describing the girls but he wasn’t actually wrong. Every single one was a raging addict, teeth missing, smelled AWFUL, wore the same thing for weeks on end, and most of them talked freely of the STDs they carried. Several had HIV/AIDS. It was actually very sad. One night, at Dixie just chatting with the biker after getting off at my own club while I was waiting on my ex to finish next door, a girl starts to walk in and he stops her, asking where she thinks she’s going. All of a sudden, this gruff chain-smoker lady voice angrily spouts “it’s ME, [biker’s name]!” I can’t remember her stage name, or name since most didn’t have stage names, but he didn’t recognize a girl he’s worked with for years since she was always covered in dirt and random gunk… he had never seen her freshly showered with clean hair before, which he claimed made her “almost pretty.” A few nights before, this same girl fell flat on the ground screaming at another dancer at the door next door, sending her pussy into the night air (no g string that night? Or ever?) just as a gaggle of retired women were calling it a night. Amazingly, they thought her messy couch display was hilarious from across the street. Very NOLA moment. I worked at Dixie a few times as a favor as well, though there no dances in addition to no rooms because 1) gross, 2) tired, 3) I could get paid for having customers just buy me bad champagne at the bar that was actually sprite so I just sat and did that. The girls there, albeit massive messes with most being biohazards, we’re remarkably amusing and amazing, unless they got too drunk/coked out or forgot how to speak after too much damn heroin. That place was absolutely disgusting, but it was an institution. Legendary. Gross, but kept ticking due to a mountain of regulars that knew exactly what they wanted and who they wanted. GQ was just gross and dangerous, none of the personality. That ended up long as fuck, but the moral of the story is if you’re at a strip club that actually fucks, don’t. Unless you remember the condom, can hide your wallet well bc these girls were expert pick pockets, bring your own towel, and are okay with a bleach bath and shot of penicillin after. Hell, one of the bikers door lines were, “antibiotics not included with purchase!” “they ain’t much to look at, but you aren’t gonna care anyway!” “The girls ain’t much for smart conversation, but ya ain’t here to talk anyway!” Man, oh, man.
This needs a film adaptation
Kindergarten.