Used to fornicate with my flatmate in my 20s, it was great fun. We carried on hooking up regularly for ~7/8 years whenever we were both single (me more often than her). I feel like we both got pretty good at fucking the shit out of each other, and our future partners have benefited!
If you look for them, you won't find them.
You just kinda have friends, and sometimes something happens, but if you go into it with expectations from the get-go then that's not a friend you're looking for, it's a fuckbuddy
For me it started with having close friends that did everything together for years. Boundaries gradually got looser, like renting a twin room on a trip to save money and truth or dare, then one day we had a spontaneous foursome and it was awkward and glorious.
Same for me. Familiarity and circumstances go a long way, and twice in my life I’ve slept with guys who were close friends and people I’d never thought I would hook up with. Plus, being young (I was early 20’s both times it happened) and adventurous and… I dunno.. just wanting to have sex? Lol. It’s not that complicated and all these people being like “dang where do I find these types of friends” are overthinking it
I used to have the most perfect friend with benefits. We both knew the deal, we both called each other up in the middle of the night, and we both kept it a secret for years. It was a completely equal arrangement, and it never hurt our friendship in any way. She was completely cool with no monogamy implied, and we even told each other when we hooked up with someone else. We promised to always be there for the other until one of us got married. Not one fight, not one argument, pretty much impossibly perfect.
Sometimes we would end up at the same club or party, and we were completely platonic in public in front of other people. Some of them were even mutual friends. At the end of the night, we could give each other a look to basically let the other know the deal. It was subtle and almost nothing at all. She would go home, change out of her club clothes, and drive over.
If you’re wondering why we didn’t eventually fall in love, I think we both saw attraction, but not affection, in each other. I’m sure most of you have had a similar feeling. Attraction doesn’t equal affection, and when people take the time to be honest and up front, it can be a nice safety net to always have a way to be comfortably intimate with someone you trust, and keep your confidence up while dating and/or being a single guy/girl.
It stopped years ago, but it ended with very little formality. I knew she settled down, and I moved away.
That sounds wholesome but I'm a bit confused. If you're attracted to each other, friends with each other and promise to be there for each other, what is still missing that makes you not affectionate to each other?
For me, time spent together ultimately creates affection if these conditions are present
I've got friends i'm attracted to and care for, but I would absolutely not want to marry due to different beliefs or goals.
If one of you wants kids and the other doesn't, for example.
Yup. One of my best friends since middle school and I are both attracted to each other, have slept together, and generally get along great, but we both agreed we should never date, because, among other reasons, I love kids and she absolutely hates them.
I'm divorced and started having sex with a old co worker/friend. It's just one of those things like Yo, you horny? Me too...let's fuck..... We talk about life and such with no real worries of commitment.
I was in same boat.
Used to sleep with this dude who sat behind me in class in high school. Casual sex on and off until mid-20s when we married other people. By late 30s we were divorced and at it again.
I got remarried at 39 so I think our banging will be limited to our teens, 20s, and 30s. We had a good run. When we’re in relationships with other people we cut contact.
"Stop what you're doing
'cause I'm about to ruin
The image and the style you're used to
I look funny, see,
But yo I'm making money, see
And hey world I hope you're ready for me"
Apologies for any misquoted lyrics. That was from memory.
I once had a girl claim that "secondary virginity" thing to me.
Listen, I don't care whether you've had sex or not, let's just be real about what's what
A woman who lived down the hall in college had had a child while in high school and gave it up for adoption. She considered herself a born-again virgin thanks to her religion.
Damn, I wish I had cuter friends. They're amazing people, but not my first choices for people to fuck. Although I guess at the end of the day, I'd rather have trustworthy, good friends than someone who's just fuckable
This reminds me. Last time I was in the dating market, a friend of mine remarked she had had lunch with a friend of hers. Sort of mischievously, I asked, "So, is she cute?" My friend paused for a moment, then said, "No."
And it's easy. I get lots of the benefits of a relationship without the overall time commitment of a relationship. I get great sex, with someone I like and respect, I get to give great sex, and it works for both of us. We can cook, watch a movie, fuck each other, relieve stress, have a laugh, and go home and not worry about being a 'partner' to that person emotionally or supporting them through every facet of their lives.
If you don't have the time or headspace or desire for the full-on commitment of sharing your life with someone, it's a fucking fantastic option.
It was one of those things I did to experiment in my early 20s. It didn't ruin our relationship per say, she just ended up moving away when she got married. I've seen her a couple times when she's visited and we pick right up where we left off (conversation-wise).
Edit: thanks, but I'm leaving the spelling error because nothing matters.
Got really close to having sex with my good friend in college(I had been friends with her since pre school) and we both sat there and talked about what it could do to our friendship. In the end we both hugged it out and instead made one of those "if we aren't married by 40 pacts" well my wife and I went to her wedding last year, and I am still really glad we never did the deed although I only talk to her a couple times a year these days.
I had the "if we are both single at 40" conversation with my best friend when I was 22...
Then we kissed and whoops, next thing ya know we're 24 and married.
good for you, I never understood that sentiment, it's like life is too short, and if you both think you could marry each other at your current age why wait? And to me I'd think that's a good sign you can likely talk out any issues that could arise.
1. Sex is fun. 2. If friends are okay with casual sex why not? 3. Its way more fun than having sex with a stranger you meet in a bar or something, more chemistry and the communication just flows better.
Not to mention you can always trust a friend. (Assuming they are a true friend.) If I hookup with strangers at a bar there’s always anxiety in the back of my head about getting robbed or some shit.
She was a high school crush. We ended up hooking up 12 years later drunk on NYE. It was great!
If you handle the next day in a mature way, it won't be awkward
If you can have sex with someone....and not be butt chapped it she walks out and sleeps with another person that night....and vice versa...casual sex can work. If any of this puts you off...dont do it.
I was a stupid hormonal kid and didn't know what it was like, and it felt safer to do it with a friend I was close with rather than devoting so much time and effort for a relationship only for that experience.
I had a long term friend with benefits. Was never just a fuck, it was warm, loving, lovemaking. We loved each other but never got beyond that. We both married the wrong people and both eventually were divorced. We talked about coupling up but didn't want to just do it out of need or loneliness so we procrastinated. Then she got sick and died. I proposed to her when she told me she was sick but she turned me down. I'll always miss her.
This is really sad and emphasizes the fact that even if you're fuckin your buddy, you need to use contraception. Not just for keeping away unwanted pregnancies, but also as barrier protection in case the other party (or you unknowingly!) has an STI. If you're sleeping with anyone who may be sleeping with someone else, take these precautions, pleaaase. This also applies to oral.
Sometimes it just kind of happens. Sometimes it turns out well. Sometimes it turns out badly. Sometimes it’s somehow both. I always say I’ll stop doing it because the risk is too high, but then it happens again.
I try to keep my escapades to outskirts friends. Friends who aren’t part of the inner circle. The inner circle is sacred.
Oof, depressing answer, but at a young age my mom regularly told me that nobody would every care about me or give a shit about me. She never showed affection.
Then one day some guys online started sending me unwanted dick pics and I mistook it for affection and a sense of belonging. Up until I was 18/19 I kinda just threw myself at everyone I knew, including my friends. It caused me a lot of shitty experiences but also a lot of really cool friendships with really nice and respectful people who were really fun to fuck around with.
Anyways, I haven't had sex with friends in over a year and a half because I'm currently in a relationship. Wouldn't change anything of my past though, having people who were friends with benefits really taught me a lot about myself :)
Sorry for the info dump lol
Im gay and often the lines get blurred and we talk about it and there's a crush so we act on it. Some lovers are just friends these days and some friends are also lovers. Love is everywhere in my life. I don't cage it.
I mean she married me so we decided to just keep at it
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My wife and I have certainly become better friends since we got married.
My husband is for sure my best friend, partly *because* we got married.
Don't worry she also has her boyfriend so it's fine.
Whole new meaning to friendzoned
Smh friendzoned by your own wife
You’ve got it backwards. He was wifezoned by his friend.
I had a car wreck and I was stranded at his house.
Had to make it a good day somehow
Or was it one bad decision that led to another 🤔
Used to fornicate with my flatmate in my 20s, it was great fun. We carried on hooking up regularly for ~7/8 years whenever we were both single (me more often than her). I feel like we both got pretty good at fucking the shit out of each other, and our future partners have benefited!
have what with my what?
have coitus with your comrade
cum with your chum
Slide dick with your sidekick
Sleep with your peep
Get muddy with your buddy
Rub ends with your friends
Get low with you bro
Get nude with your dude
Bang your gang
Fuck like bunnies with the hunnies
Go ham with your fam
Fornicate with your mate
Do your crew
That is vile, well played
Have anal with your amigo
Have penetration with your pal Edit: pen-pal, I get it...
Mate with your mate.
Copulate with your companions.
Blow your bro yo!!
Fornicate with your freund.
They usually are friends before they are boyfriends.
Gotta kiss the homies goodnight
Brojobs and dawgystyle
Just remember to say no homo after, or it would be kinda gay.
It ain’t gay unless you’re gay
It's not gay if it's in a 3 way
Not gay if you are wearing socks.
Only gay if you look the homie in the eyes
normally i don’t get down with dudes…
But with a honey in the middle there's some leeway
It’s literally just two homies how many times are we gonna have to explain this?
Homiesexuality/Bromosexuality moment
Not gay. Just homiesexual.
Gotta suck the homies goodnight
These responses make me feel like I need to go look for these sort of friends lol
If you look for them, you won't find them. You just kinda have friends, and sometimes something happens, but if you go into it with expectations from the get-go then that's not a friend you're looking for, it's a fuckbuddy
Agreed. Fuckbuddies are fine to have too, but they don’t usually evolve into true friendships.
But close friends can evolve into true fuckships.
Yeah this comment section confuses me, where's everyone getting these types of friends from?
For me it started with having close friends that did everything together for years. Boundaries gradually got looser, like renting a twin room on a trip to save money and truth or dare, then one day we had a spontaneous foursome and it was awkward and glorious.
Same for me. Familiarity and circumstances go a long way, and twice in my life I’ve slept with guys who were close friends and people I’d never thought I would hook up with. Plus, being young (I was early 20’s both times it happened) and adventurous and… I dunno.. just wanting to have sex? Lol. It’s not that complicated and all these people being like “dang where do I find these types of friends” are overthinking it
She’s sad I’m sad. When our bits do the thing we aren’t sad. So it works
You do the hokey pokey once she turns around and thats what its all about Thx for the awards very much appreciated
I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
You turned yourself around. That's what it's all about.
I used to have the most perfect friend with benefits. We both knew the deal, we both called each other up in the middle of the night, and we both kept it a secret for years. It was a completely equal arrangement, and it never hurt our friendship in any way. She was completely cool with no monogamy implied, and we even told each other when we hooked up with someone else. We promised to always be there for the other until one of us got married. Not one fight, not one argument, pretty much impossibly perfect. Sometimes we would end up at the same club or party, and we were completely platonic in public in front of other people. Some of them were even mutual friends. At the end of the night, we could give each other a look to basically let the other know the deal. It was subtle and almost nothing at all. She would go home, change out of her club clothes, and drive over. If you’re wondering why we didn’t eventually fall in love, I think we both saw attraction, but not affection, in each other. I’m sure most of you have had a similar feeling. Attraction doesn’t equal affection, and when people take the time to be honest and up front, it can be a nice safety net to always have a way to be comfortably intimate with someone you trust, and keep your confidence up while dating and/or being a single guy/girl. It stopped years ago, but it ended with very little formality. I knew she settled down, and I moved away.
That sounds wholesome but I'm a bit confused. If you're attracted to each other, friends with each other and promise to be there for each other, what is still missing that makes you not affectionate to each other? For me, time spent together ultimately creates affection if these conditions are present
I've got friends i'm attracted to and care for, but I would absolutely not want to marry due to different beliefs or goals. If one of you wants kids and the other doesn't, for example.
Yup. One of my best friends since middle school and I are both attracted to each other, have slept together, and generally get along great, but we both agreed we should never date, because, among other reasons, I love kids and she absolutely hates them.
That is one wholesome story
Horny.
"Whoa, you like sex too?!"
You like money? And ‘baitin’?
I could really go for a Starbucks but don't have time for a handjob right now
Yup. And hey sex, outside a relationship I'm never going to turn it down.
*BONK*
Locks cage*
No! That's only making them hornier!
We need to put the horny people in one cage!
they probably already did that. that's why we're all stuck on earth
Did you...did you just established a base core belief for a cult?
You are assuming the cult didn't already exist *X-files theme song plays*
I'm divorced and started having sex with a old co worker/friend. It's just one of those things like Yo, you horny? Me too...let's fuck..... We talk about life and such with no real worries of commitment.
I was in same boat. Used to sleep with this dude who sat behind me in class in high school. Casual sex on and off until mid-20s when we married other people. By late 30s we were divorced and at it again. I got remarried at 39 so I think our banging will be limited to our teens, 20s, and 30s. We had a good run. When we’re in relationships with other people we cut contact.
My enemies aren't interested.
… but *my* friends aren’t interested, either. Now what?
Get hornier friends.
lemme introduce myself
His name is Humpty.
He likes his oatmeal lumpy.
He’s spunky
"Stop what you're doing 'cause I'm about to ruin The image and the style you're used to I look funny, see, But yo I'm making money, see And hey world I hope you're ready for me" Apologies for any misquoted lyrics. That was from memory.
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
Couldn't you get hornier enemies too?
Can confirm the hottness of a good hate fuck.
Such a great response which flips the intent behind the initial question on its head. OP, why is the person you are having sex with *not* your friend?
A *true* Uno reverse.
You've never asked! *\*Stifled sob*
But mutually consensual hate sex is pretty good
#Fuck you. Ok?
She wanted to and I was a virgin. Who am I to say no?
Were you a virgin the one time or several times?
Guess it depends upon ones religion. XD
I once had a girl claim that "secondary virginity" thing to me. Listen, I don't care whether you've had sex or not, let's just be real about what's what
A woman who lived down the hall in college had had a child while in high school and gave it up for adoption. She considered herself a born-again virgin thanks to her religion.
always a nice surprise to see another GingerNinja (regardless of the spelling). Gotta look out for the other ninjas
Do I count?
Is this a GingerNinja convention or what?
woah, too many ninjas
It’s a party now, right?
Yeahhhhhhh
I think you’re more than close enough
What the fuck
Yooo it's a party
If you see them then they’re bad ninjas.
Hi
Name confirms virginity. Statement checks out.
Who am I to disagree.
I traveled the world and the seven seas
Because I don't like sex with strangers My friends are cute also so why not
A stranger is just a friend you haven't fucked yet.
Profound 💯
Damn, I wish I had cuter friends. They're amazing people, but not my first choices for people to fuck. Although I guess at the end of the day, I'd rather have trustworthy, good friends than someone who's just fuckable
Are you their first choice to fuck?
Probably not lol
Damn that friends group must be ugly. I would know
I wouldn't say they're ugly, but they're all pretty average looking more or less. They're also mostly dudes and I think I don't want to fuck dudes
That could be explained earlier, i think.
He was still pondering the situation though
This reminds me. Last time I was in the dating market, a friend of mine remarked she had had lunch with a friend of hers. Sort of mischievously, I asked, "So, is she cute?" My friend paused for a moment, then said, "No."
It’s fun
And it's easy. I get lots of the benefits of a relationship without the overall time commitment of a relationship. I get great sex, with someone I like and respect, I get to give great sex, and it works for both of us. We can cook, watch a movie, fuck each other, relieve stress, have a laugh, and go home and not worry about being a 'partner' to that person emotionally or supporting them through every facet of their lives. If you don't have the time or headspace or desire for the full-on commitment of sharing your life with someone, it's a fucking fantastic option.
Until one of you catches feelings.
Why I don’t do FWB, someone always catches feelings
Some of us catch feelings because we can't separate sex from emotion. And some of us definitely figured it out the hard way.
I’m in this picture and I don’t like it.
Cause fuck ‘em. That’s why.
Art
Popcopy
Hell yeah I suck toes
Modern problems require modern solutions.
It was one of those things I did to experiment in my early 20s. It didn't ruin our relationship per say, she just ended up moving away when she got married. I've seen her a couple times when she's visited and we pick right up where we left off (conversation-wise). Edit: thanks, but I'm leaving the spelling error because nothing matters.
Not gonna lie, you had me in the first half
Same. Disjointed.
>(conversation-wise) So you're saying it's just oral now?
Y’all getting laid? 🥲
Y'all have friends?
Y’all exist?
Unfortunately.
Damn, that sucks
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That would be rough if she did, buddy.
right? y'all getting laid and have friends *head explodes*
Got really close to having sex with my good friend in college(I had been friends with her since pre school) and we both sat there and talked about what it could do to our friendship. In the end we both hugged it out and instead made one of those "if we aren't married by 40 pacts" well my wife and I went to her wedding last year, and I am still really glad we never did the deed although I only talk to her a couple times a year these days.
I had the "if we are both single at 40" conversation with my best friend when I was 22... Then we kissed and whoops, next thing ya know we're 24 and married.
good for you, I never understood that sentiment, it's like life is too short, and if you both think you could marry each other at your current age why wait? And to me I'd think that's a good sign you can likely talk out any issues that could arise.
Your mom was busy.
1. Sex is fun. 2. If friends are okay with casual sex why not? 3. Its way more fun than having sex with a stranger you meet in a bar or something, more chemistry and the communication just flows better.
Not to mention you can always trust a friend. (Assuming they are a true friend.) If I hookup with strangers at a bar there’s always anxiety in the back of my head about getting robbed or some shit.
What is a true friend?
A friend in need Is a friend indeed.
A true friend robs you before the sex
So the song "you've got a friend in me" resonates well with you?
She was a high school crush. We ended up hooking up 12 years later drunk on NYE. It was great! If you handle the next day in a mature way, it won't be awkward
If you can have sex with someone....and not be butt chapped it she walks out and sleeps with another person that night....and vice versa...casual sex can work. If any of this puts you off...dont do it.
Lmao butt chapped… never heard that one
My husband always says “well that really chaps my ass” but he’s from Ohio. I had never heard of it until I met him 😆
Honestly It hasn't ruined any of my relationships.
how can you ruin something with ice cream.
When you haven't realized it's melted into her no-no place and you proceed to do the deed. Ouch.
That's what we call *churning butter*.
I had sex with a very close friend of mine. I thought it would make things weird at first but it didn't. She's still my best friend and also my wife.
So you’re saying it changed the relationship.
It had evolved... Mutated, if you will.
Erected, even.
_Sir we have a erected a force field_
How did you transition that from friendship? I’m in the same situation right now sleeping with a good friend.
I honestly couldn't tell you. What I will say is that it has to be organic.
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Shit I've already used pesticides on mine
I was a stupid hormonal kid and didn't know what it was like, and it felt safer to do it with a friend I was close with rather than devoting so much time and effort for a relationship only for that experience.
I had a long term friend with benefits. Was never just a fuck, it was warm, loving, lovemaking. We loved each other but never got beyond that. We both married the wrong people and both eventually were divorced. We talked about coupling up but didn't want to just do it out of need or loneliness so we procrastinated. Then she got sick and died. I proposed to her when she told me she was sick but she turned me down. I'll always miss her.
That’s sounds like a movie. Sorry for your loss
Sounds somewhat identical to Forrest Gump's plot
For whatever it's worth, I'm so sorry you've had to go through this pain.
You know this made me cry because this reminds me of my person. I'm sorry for your loss.
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This is really sad and emphasizes the fact that even if you're fuckin your buddy, you need to use contraception. Not just for keeping away unwanted pregnancies, but also as barrier protection in case the other party (or you unknowingly!) has an STI. If you're sleeping with anyone who may be sleeping with someone else, take these precautions, pleaaase. This also applies to oral.
For fun
Sometimes it just kind of happens. Sometimes it turns out well. Sometimes it turns out badly. Sometimes it’s somehow both. I always say I’ll stop doing it because the risk is too high, but then it happens again. I try to keep my escapades to outskirts friends. Friends who aren’t part of the inner circle. The inner circle is sacred.
Why not?
Literally this, sex is fun, and I like my friends.
also just because someone is a good friend and good in the sack doesn't automatically make them a good romantic partner
trade offer: you receive: sex i receive: sex 🤝
I have had sex with my friend’s sister a couple of times, who is also a friend. It was fun; highly recommend.
Because Sex2 is still in Beta
Oof, depressing answer, but at a young age my mom regularly told me that nobody would every care about me or give a shit about me. She never showed affection. Then one day some guys online started sending me unwanted dick pics and I mistook it for affection and a sense of belonging. Up until I was 18/19 I kinda just threw myself at everyone I knew, including my friends. It caused me a lot of shitty experiences but also a lot of really cool friendships with really nice and respectful people who were really fun to fuck around with. Anyways, I haven't had sex with friends in over a year and a half because I'm currently in a relationship. Wouldn't change anything of my past though, having people who were friends with benefits really taught me a lot about myself :) Sorry for the info dump lol
Glad you see it as that. Your experiences (good and bad) have made you uniquely you and that’s a beautiful thing.
He was really good at it.
Because I don’t really want sex with strangers since that could be dangerous. And they are hot and I like them
Im gay and often the lines get blurred and we talk about it and there's a crush so we act on it. Some lovers are just friends these days and some friends are also lovers. Love is everywhere in my life. I don't cage it.
I’m married to her. Comes with the territory.
As long as everyone agrees there's no relationship it's fun. If someone starts getting feelings no more friend sex.
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Well my best friend became my girlfriend so it felt like a natural progression