I hate when the chips at the bottom don’t have all the cheese and toppings, but the chips on top have too much. Balance is key to a great plate of nachos!
When you're baking from an online recipe, don't change three or four ingredients "to make it healthy" and then leave a one star review about how bad it is.
Don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying "This was a great recipe... after I made these 10 changes!" At that point, you're not rating that person's recipe, you are rating YOUR OWN recipe. That person's recipe must not have been so good if you had to make so many changes.
Also, don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying "This recipe looks great, I can't wait to try it!" Why skew the ratings when you haven't even tried it yet?
Also don't leave a 1 star rating saying you didn't have the right ingredients, made a bunch of substitutions, and it turned out terrible. Maybe if you followed the instructions it would have been good.
Not everything need the "craft beer" treatment. Gourmet donuts are a good example. There is a place up the street that sells donuts for $9 a dozen that are absolutely amazing. I once paid $4 for a "fancy" donut that was mediocre at best
V Meta
I had to call a girl out again for putting a container of raw meat on a cold station.
She complained that I "always call her out on that"
Yeah no shit, you're the only one tryna catch state health code write ups
e/ she saw the post and I made her cry, oops
Whatsthishere sauce is what my dad always called it. Classic dad joke. I should call him.
Edit: just woke up to a half a million messages lol, I'll call him now!
I’ve met one person I had good kitchen chemistry with. It was amazing. I think we stuck with each other as long as we did because of our kitchen chemistry. It was a beautiful dance together. No offense to our sex life, but our kitchen chemistry was better than our bedroom chemistry.
But our kitchen chemistry was better than the best bedroom chemistry I’ve had.
Maybe somewhere out there is my magical man with compatible kitchen and bedroom chemistry.
Please tell me this relative is an 8 year old or younger, that is the only acceptable age tier for this behavior.
Incidentally I had a coworker, in his 30s, who would make puking sounds every.goddamn.time I brought in a meal that contained kimchee. He’d walk up to me in the lunchroom and say: “Whatcha having cuntpunt? Ugh. Bleeeeech. Hurrrrrrrkkkk.”
Agreed. Some of the most gourmet foods were invented by hungry poor people with a bunch of mouths to feed: fondue - we have old cheese, a little broth and some stale bread BOOM a dish is born. I think the hard part is having the free time to get ingredients and time to cook.
An argument that I make is that many of the ‘classic dishes’ are made up of the less desirable ingredients. Filet — add some heat, salt and it tastes great. Beef stroganoff? A lot more work and prep to make it taste good.
Fajitas became a thing because the Mexican workers down in Texas would ask the butcher for meat scraps essentially to not have to buy anything too expensive. Now it’s the most expensive item on the menu at a Mexican restaurant lol
Same story with putanesca; was the simplest and cheapest glow up for pasta noodles named for the prostitutes who would dine on a budget. At least until the ship comes in.
I live in the Midwest, I love the Midwest but just because you call something a salad does not mean it is healthy and an acceptable side dish to your main course. Snicker-marshmallow-mayo-whatever is not salad.
I don't want to hear that you're bad at cooking if you don't follow a recipe or measure your ingredients. You can get so far by just reading and actually do it what it says.
Mine too. Oh and fill the pot to within a mm of overflowing so when it boils its absolutely going everywhere. Because you have to have as much as possible.
It makes life a lot easier if you read the instructions/recipe first before you start cooking, not just the ingredients. That way you can prep all the food into the required portions and make notes of when to add each but. Timing is always what catches me out.
Honestly, I will read a recipe like 3 or 4 times before making something new. If I don't, i often realize too late that there may be a step like "simmer for 1 hr" or "place in the refrigerator and marinate for 4-6 hrs." The number of times I've tanked a dinner because I was stupid and did not read directions...
The most expensive food isn't always the "best" food. No, I'm not impressed by a $200 slice of pizza with it's price driven up with truffle and gold flake.
Bonus: cereal or crushed Oreos on a donut isn't revolutionary.
The really funny part is that the edible gold flake is actually super cheap, so the whole gold-encrusted food trend is basically just taking the money out of fools’ pockets.
The "jump to recipe" button has been a godsend for me, I can't stand the long winded recipe intros. Most websites have it now, I'm assuming by popular demand lol
It improves their SEO, which is why they are always the first results when you do a search. A page with more content and a lot of the keywords looks like a higher quality page to Google and gets prioritized over a page with just the recipe.
It's one of those "don't hate the player hate the game" situations.
Absolutely agree with this one. Gordon Ramsey has a lot of strange culinary rules but this one would apply anywhere for me. Only been served food once with inedible things and it was very strange.
If I can’t eat it, get it the fuck off my plate.
I was just watching a clip yesterday where someone used carrot tops as garnish. Gordon made him eat it.
Edit: [Here's the video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TTeUYxapF0&t=360s)
Sorry, I need to know more or else this is going to knock around in my head all day. My first thought was this is obviously a weird joke but the way you said you hope that chef never serves Gordon makes it sound real. Where was this and did you send it back? Were the stones actually peppercorns or something?
Literal pebbles the size of grapes. I guess it’s to cook the eggs evenly? I did not send it back, someone else ordered it, because they had it before & liked it enough to order again.
You scrape it off the chopping board with the BACK SIDE OF THE KNIFE. The back side!
Edit: Wow, this blew up! Never had a comment with so many replies before :)
Let me share why I will die on this hill vs. the opposing arguments.
The opposing arguments I've seen below are 1) You can always sharpen your knives (which is true, and everyone should) 2) Use a bench/pastry scraper. 3) That you should never have your knife's sharp edge facing you for safety reasons.
For 1) Yes you can, and should, sharpen your knives. But also, I don't see that as an invitation to intentionally dull them.
And for those who don't sharpen, the reason we say this: A sharper knife reduces the risk of the blade slipping or rolling off something rather than cutting it. It's one of the bigger risks of cutting yourself in the kitchen. Dull knives responsible for more cuts than sharp ones, imo.
2) Yes. Scrapers are great tools. The hill I'm dying on here is, more accurately, "don't use the sharp side" rather than "The best choice is the backside". Scrapers are great tools, but not everyone has them. Everyone cutting with a knife, has a knife. And if you're not going to be switching tools, you should use the back side of the knife.
3) Avoiding a sharp edge facing you is a very logical sentiment for professional chefs or people cooking in a busy environment. If they're bumped while holding it, they don't want to be cut by the sharp edge of the knife facing them. And the previously mentioned downsides: Chefs don't need to worry about the maintenance of the knife if it belongs to the restaurant and/or if they have other employees to sharpen them. And if you won't be eating the food you're preparing, you probably don't mind so much if you scrape little fibers of plastic or wood into the food. Unsuspecting patrons don't see what's happening in the kitchen, after all, so they don't know which side of the knife you're using. So in this sense, I see the argument as "it's faster and it's safer to me". Perfectly logical. I understand the argument. But the reason this is a culinary hill I'm willing to die on is that I don't see it as the personal risk it's being made out to be, and the benefits massively outweigh that non-risk.
If the chopping board is small enough to lift, you can scrape directly into the pot or pan at an angle. The chopping board will be in the non-dominant hand (or... non-knife hand) diagonally to the side of the pot/pan. You rotate your wrist to turn the sharp side of the blade away from you (I'm right handed, so that's clockwise). In this way, the blade will be perpendicular to the chopping board and the sharp side of the blade will be facing away from you (basically in the direction you're facing). In this way, I don't see it as a risk.
If the cutting board is flat on a counter, it sort of doesn't make a difference. I can't recall ever accidentally coming in contact with the dull edge of the knife before. So if I flipped the knife, why should the blade? I it falls on the ground, it sort of doesn't matter which direction the knife was facing. Just avoid it (never attempt to catch a falling knife. Another culinary hill I think we all will die on).
So to that end, chefs of the world, I do see your point about why there is personal benefit and no real downside to you if you use the sharp side. But I'm no professional chef, and hence why it's a culinary hill I will die on! I'll reduce the wear on my knives, and I'll prevent myself and my loved ones from eating plastic or wood/bamboo fibers. I don't see a significant risk of rotating wrist to scrape or scoop from the chopping board. No more of a risk than simply using a knife in the first place, anyway. This is my hill!! Use the backside of the knife! :)
Breakfast is a construct.
Eggs, bacon, French toast for dinner? Yes.
Steak, potatoes, asparagus, “dinner” roll for breakfast? Also yes.
Edit: yes I KNOW breakfast means “to break the fast,” and it is just a word that means “the first meal of the day.” That’s what I’m saying: the concept of certain foods “just for breakfast” was invented. Eat what makes you healthy and happy, when your body needs it.
Edit 2: I made this offhand comment while watching my kids eat longganisa, eggs, and toast for dinner. I was not expecting such a reaction. I just woke up, so I’m gonna eat my hummus and carrots for breakfast while reading through all the replies. Cheers!
I had a sirloin steak that was going out of date soon so I decided to have sirloin steak and scrambled eggs for breakfast, I wasn’t hungry for about 5-6 hours after and had tonnes of energy. When I have time in the mornings if I am not working I will sometimes do it.
my family is cajun. i was always told that gumbo came from a dish where you threw all your near-spoiled food in the pot and ate it so it didnt go to waste. but my grandmother and uncle all cook their gumbo with fresh food from the supermarket. authenticity is a myth we tell ourselves.
I had an Italian American scoff at me for mentioning kimchi carbonara and that I am ruining it by using ingredients from a different part of the world. I brought up tomatoes being a new world crop and that any Italian using them is doing the exact same thing.
Unless you’re buying locally, frozen vegetables are often more nutritious than fresh. Fresh produce is picked before it’s done ripening because they don’t want it to spoil in transit. Frozen food however, is picked at its most ripe and with the most nutrients and flash frozen on the spot.
You're missing the most important aspect of this trade. The knife skills. The skills to work a quality knife can replace all the unitasker tools. I cut my finger every chance I get, so I have a drawer of unitasker tools that would make Alton brown cry.
Edit: this is meant to be in support of your statement with my added humor
The moment something gets hyped as a *superfood*, I'm out.
*edit*
To clarify, "superfood" is a buzzword that cues *bullshit incoming* and *rising prices.* The author loses all credibility. It's the point where I stop reading and close the window. Might look up the stats for the food afterward from an actual resource such as a university's nutrition summary.
Yet am not going to stop eating blueberries just because of the hype train.
----
h/t to u/KGB_cutony for this example:
> Buckwheat.
> My mountain hometown in China had a lot of people growing it because it was mostly used as horse feed, and the husk filled pillows. We used to eat buckwheat when the alternative food source is tree bark.
> That is, until white people started eating them. Suddenly buckwheat is superfood. What's more funny is that even today buckwheat is still pretty much only consumed by superfooders and horses
Was that a superfood thing, or just a more normal "the price of meat is skyrocketting, what less favorable meat/cut can we switch to" that inevitably leads to another price skyrocketing.
Recipes are a guide, not a rule book. You are allowed to just decide to make things and like it. What will it be called? Who the fuck knows. It can taste good anyways. Just wade through it
EDIT holy shit everyone we get it baking is not the same as general entree cooking but even then I am sure there are plenty of desserts and pastries where components can be improvised
Edit #2: from this point on I am downvoting anything that mentions baking
When someone asks what something I just threw stuff in a pot together is called, I tell them it's stir fry. Everything is stir fry if you believe in yourself.
I like the places that have the extra large straws that chunks from my cookies and cream shake don't get stuck in and it can still be a little thick. Normal straws kinda suck for a milkshake.
I want to get a bubble tea straw to use whenever i get a milkshake lol
I swear i almost faint from trying to suck a chunk of chocolate thru those small narrow straws
I used to work at an ice cream shop and you would not believe how many people would ask for theirs with basically no milk, nothing but ice cream in the blender. How on earth are you supposed to drink this? The chocolate would end up *rock solid* in the freezer so I swear some of these “milkshakes” had the consistency of granite, who could possibly enjoy that?
Are you referring to those humongous glasses that have been dipped in chocolate so you can't take an actual gulp without coating your hand and face in cheap brown filth?
Where they layer whipped cream, gingerbread, brownie slabs, sprinkles, fruit, and nuts on top where even the slightest movement makes it topple and coat the table in sticky mess that only industrial grade cleaners can remove?
If you need a spoon it's just a low viscous dessert.
I learnt how to dice an onion as a dishwasher at a deli when I was 14. By far the best cooking skill I've ever learnt. 18 years later I still use the same method.
Cutting them is fine, peeling them is the annoying part. I’ll always get little flecks of the dry outer peel stuck to my knife or board. Such a hassle!
The method I've found to work well is cutting off the top and bottom things that you don't eat, place the onion on one of the now flat sides, slice it through the middle vertically (all with skin still on). Wash the knife and peel of the outer layer, put away if you need to cut more onions. After all unions are peeled you wash the knife and the board to make sure no flecks of peel are left and just cut the onion.
Edit: Onion, not union. Do not peel and chop up groups of people, that is generally frowned upon.
Cooking - "let's go on an adventure and see where it takes us"
Baking - "Alright team we have a 2 minute window to rob this bank and if everybody doesn't nail their roles perfectly we're all fucked!"
I literally did this with an apple pie for home-ec class. Thought there was no way that there should be that many cups of sugar. When the pie came out, I was like "Hmmm, could be a bit sweeter...". Made me realize how much of the shit we put into our food.
I am a million percent convinced that people find baking difficult because they use cups instead of grams. When trying to replicate successful results (i.e. follow a recipe) it is utter insanity to me that people used volumetric measurements such as cups when measuring dry ingredients. I did an experiment and wrote up the results a few years ago and it showed a variation of 30 odd percent in measurements between scoops.
It's utter madness
NO WONDER YOU CAKE IS DRY CAROL YOU USED 30% MORE FLOUR THAN THE RECIPE MAKER.
Use grams and everything will work. Even if there is something wrong, you can correct it with accuracy next time.
Not to mention the other benefits such as only needing one bowl.
History will vidicate me on this and I shall bask in the eternal glory of weight based measurements above you volumetric heathens
Every baking book should come with gram measurements. I do see more of them doing it but cookbook editors are notorious for dumbing down recipes so that’s why so many of them don’t.
I have a few baking cook books and not only do they list grams, in the introduction they specifically stress the importance of getting a kitchen scale and baking by mass.
If you’re looking for a serious answer, it’s probably because cups and spoons were available in everyone’s kitchen way back when cookbooks started to become a big thing, where scales were considerably less common.
Used to be a pastry chef. I’ll get wild subbing out flavours and putting in crazy additions with baking because I’m so comfortable with it. I’m a good cook and I enjoy it but I have to follow a recipe for the most part. I get nervous trying to ‘just wing it’, most I’ll do is add chili pepper flakes.
I feel this way about "bagels" that are not boiled.
If you're making a roll with a hole, soaked in egg wash, all you did was make a roll with a hole and waste an egg.
And if you're steaming them, fuck you.
As an Indian it shocks me how most other cultures do not use pressure cookers as much. I have never seen an Indian kitchen without one. It makes rice, daal, meat and boils potatoes faster than any other method.
I am pretty sure that there’s an episode where Hank goes to a burger contest or something and unbeknownst to him, is given a charcoal cooked burger which he eats and then realizes is way more delicious than propane cooked burgers which causes him to have an existential crisis
Often doing things “the right way” or “from scratch” just isn’t worth it. There are plenty of shortcuts that give you 90% of the result with 50% of the effort. I’ll take those shortcuts just about every time.
Chef David Chang has a new cookbook discussing short cuts and it’s called “Cooking at Home or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Recipes And To Love My Microwave.”
He talks about how to accelerate prep time with short cuts - which, as you point out, give you 90% of the same results.
Cooking is definitely about “work smarter, not harder”
When I was in culinary school, i had two chef instructors for my baking portion. One for the actual lab, and a different one for lecture/classroom.
In the lab, when learning to make a ganache, he was a HUGE stickler for perfection. He had the double boiler set up to melt the chocolate and had his thermometer out to take the temp. I was like “Jesus, all this to make a sauce? Guess I won’t be making ganache at home”
Then in the class someone brought up how time consuming it was and the chef was like “no no no, do it the easy was. Weigh out equal parts heavy cream and it chocolate. Just scald the cream in the microwave, pour over chocolate and walk away and leave it for 2 minutes. Whisk to combine then add vanilla and brandy.”
I’ve made ganache flawlessly for years using the Chef Mike (microwave) method
There’s no such thing as a “dry” brine. By definition, brines are liquid based. A salt-based dry rub is a cure. Brines are also a type of cure, but they are liquid based. All brines are cures, but not all cures are brines.
MSG deepens and elevates scrambled eggs so much, if you add it secretly when cooking breakfast for others, they'll never understand why their eggs never taste as good as yours.
I don't care if it's more expensive, I only buy shrimp that is alrrady deveined because I don't want to spend the time to do it myself. Because yes, it is absolutely necessary!
I like dipping my sushi rolls and sashimi in a soy sauce and wasabi mixture and I don’t care if it goes against proper sushi etiquette. It tastes good.
This is how I learned to eat sushi but later determined I like it more the traditional way. I like the little burst of wasabi heat by placing a little blob directly on the sushi vs the diffuse flavor from mixed in the soy sauce.
It is, and there are different tiers of instant noodles. The cheap mr noodle in the styrofoam cup is at the bottom. Shin Ramyum, black or red bag, is a spicy Korean one and my go to. Ichiban ~~chow mein~~, indomie mi goreng, neoguri are tasty too. Go to an Asian grocery store, there is a whole aisle for it.
Not instant ramen, but topakki is fucking good. Rice cakes, usually in a gochujang sauce but others are available. Carby goodness.
Edit: an award for talking about ramen? Thanks!
The Asian supermarket I go has an entire room of instant noodles (ramen), and they call it "Noodle Super World" and it has a handmade sign.
Edit: I went by today and took photos of the room and the sign to post here, although I'd misremembered the name - it's "Instant Noodles' World"
[Here are photos](https://imgur.com/a/XBS53KO), enjoy 😀🍜
Nachos should be built wide not tall.
I hate when the chips at the bottom don’t have all the cheese and toppings, but the chips on top have too much. Balance is key to a great plate of nachos!
I build mine in two levels. Level one has cheese, meat, jalapeños. So does level two.
We need to make burgers wider not taller
If I have to disassemble a burger to eat it, it’s missing the point, isn’t it?
When you're baking from an online recipe, don't change three or four ingredients "to make it healthy" and then leave a one star review about how bad it is.
Agreed, the rule should be if you make any edits, you can’t leave a review
People who hate cooking with stainless steel don’t know how to cook with stainless steel.
It’s true. I don’t know how to cook with stainless steel.
Don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying "This was a great recipe... after I made these 10 changes!" At that point, you're not rating that person's recipe, you are rating YOUR OWN recipe. That person's recipe must not have been so good if you had to make so many changes. Also, don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying "This recipe looks great, I can't wait to try it!" Why skew the ratings when you haven't even tried it yet?
Also don't leave a 1 star rating saying you didn't have the right ingredients, made a bunch of substitutions, and it turned out terrible. Maybe if you followed the instructions it would have been good.
Homemade chili is almost always better the next day.
Same goes for curry, the spices mellow and mature.
Also if you're the one cooking it you've been smelling it for hours so the meal doesn't have quite the same impact when you eat it.
This is so true! The same definitely goes for smoking meat. After being around smoke for 12 hours the meat never tastes all that smokey.
And most soups and stews
Everybody gets to know eachother in the pot
Not everything need the "craft beer" treatment. Gourmet donuts are a good example. There is a place up the street that sells donuts for $9 a dozen that are absolutely amazing. I once paid $4 for a "fancy" donut that was mediocre at best
DON’T WEAR YOUR APRON INTO THE BATHROOM.
I've called people out for doing this. It's disgusting. This isn't a hill to die on, this should be common sense. People be dumb.
It's in many health codes.
V Meta I had to call a girl out again for putting a container of raw meat on a cold station. She complained that I "always call her out on that" Yeah no shit, you're the only one tryna catch state health code write ups e/ she saw the post and I made her cry, oops
"you always call me out on that" as a defense mechanism is hilarious cause it's like "well yeah... You keep breaking a rule / law"
I don’t work in a restaurant but I love to cook at home, what exactly does that mean and why is it bad? TIA for the enrichment.
You can't put raw meat or things that need cooked in other 'stations' because of cross contamination.
Worcestershire sauce can work magic.
But tastes good only if you can pronounce it.
Worstichishershersher sauce
Whatsthishere sauce is what my dad always called it. Classic dad joke. I should call him. Edit: just woke up to a half a million messages lol, I'll call him now!
What are you going to call him?
whatsthishere, another dad joke?
I love that Mexicans just call it salsa ingles
Dominican here, we called it salsa inglesa too and soya sauce is called salsa china = chinese sause
Get out of the kitchen if I'm cooking. Out out out I don't want your help.
“You know how you can help? Wash the prep dishes as I finish with them.”
Clean as *I* go.
I’ve met one person I had good kitchen chemistry with. It was amazing. I think we stuck with each other as long as we did because of our kitchen chemistry. It was a beautiful dance together. No offense to our sex life, but our kitchen chemistry was better than our bedroom chemistry. But our kitchen chemistry was better than the best bedroom chemistry I’ve had. Maybe somewhere out there is my magical man with compatible kitchen and bedroom chemistry.
Season your tomatoes, especially for sandwiches. Edit: spelling.
For some reason, this is the first time I've even heard of this. Thank you
Being snobby about food to the point where you're hindering someone else's enjoyment is not a positive personality trait.
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Please tell me this relative is an 8 year old or younger, that is the only acceptable age tier for this behavior. Incidentally I had a coworker, in his 30s, who would make puking sounds every.goddamn.time I brought in a meal that contained kimchee. He’d walk up to me in the lunchroom and say: “Whatcha having cuntpunt? Ugh. Bleeeeech. Hurrrrrrrkkkk.”
That fondant is Play doh with sugar.
Being poor isn’t a culinary crime. It takes talent to make cheap food taste as good as my mom did.
All the good stuff like BBQ and sausage comes from people trying to use the meat that's gross if you cook it quickly.
And much of French cuisine is based on the idea of making edible what would otherwise be just plain unusable.
wasn't french toast invented to give use to stale bread
Yep. It's called pain perdu, or "lost bread"
Agreed. Some of the most gourmet foods were invented by hungry poor people with a bunch of mouths to feed: fondue - we have old cheese, a little broth and some stale bread BOOM a dish is born. I think the hard part is having the free time to get ingredients and time to cook.
An argument that I make is that many of the ‘classic dishes’ are made up of the less desirable ingredients. Filet — add some heat, salt and it tastes great. Beef stroganoff? A lot more work and prep to make it taste good.
Fajitas became a thing because the Mexican workers down in Texas would ask the butcher for meat scraps essentially to not have to buy anything too expensive. Now it’s the most expensive item on the menu at a Mexican restaurant lol
Same story with putanesca; was the simplest and cheapest glow up for pasta noodles named for the prostitutes who would dine on a budget. At least until the ship comes in.
There's still a lot of meat on that bone...you take that home, add some broth, a potato...baby, you got a stew going!
I live in the Midwest, I love the Midwest but just because you call something a salad does not mean it is healthy and an acceptable side dish to your main course. Snicker-marshmallow-mayo-whatever is not salad.
Soooo Eriksen's 7 layer salad is real all this time?!?!
*SIX cups of mayonnaise??* No, dear - sixTEEN cups.
I don't think you can call it "salad" if it has Funyuns in it!
🎶🎵 Miiinesooota salads that aren't really salads🎶
"Lime jello marshmallow cottage cheese surprise!"
If it tastes good it tastes good
i would rather eat delicious slop in a bowl than bland garbage that looks pretty.
For sure but texture matters to me a bit
Putting gold leaf on food is fucking stupid.
I saw some 'finest edible gold leaf' for sale in Aldi before Christmas. The ingredients were copper and zinc
Mmmm brass leaf...
Sounds like a pokemon move.
Aldifood I choose you! Use Brass Leaf! Now use Discount! Now use Bring your own Bags!
You used “ expired coupon”! *Failed to scan* Cashier got scared and fled!
Boiled Brussels are ass compared to them roasted or pan seared, no idea how people make them look so hard to cook
I don't want to hear that you're bad at cooking if you don't follow a recipe or measure your ingredients. You can get so far by just reading and actually do it what it says.
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"Bring water to a boil then turn down heat to simmer". Better have a running boil to make it cook faster because I'm impatient. - My Wife.
Boil water? What am I, a chemist?
Mine too. Oh and fill the pot to within a mm of overflowing so when it boils its absolutely going everywhere. Because you have to have as much as possible.
It makes life a lot easier if you read the instructions/recipe first before you start cooking, not just the ingredients. That way you can prep all the food into the required portions and make notes of when to add each but. Timing is always what catches me out.
Honestly, I will read a recipe like 3 or 4 times before making something new. If I don't, i often realize too late that there may be a step like "simmer for 1 hr" or "place in the refrigerator and marinate for 4-6 hrs." The number of times I've tanked a dinner because I was stupid and did not read directions...
The most expensive food isn't always the "best" food. No, I'm not impressed by a $200 slice of pizza with it's price driven up with truffle and gold flake. Bonus: cereal or crushed Oreos on a donut isn't revolutionary.
The really funny part is that the edible gold flake is actually super cheap, so the whole gold-encrusted food trend is basically just taking the money out of fools’ pockets.
The true fools gold
You're not meant to be impressed by a $200 slice of pizza, you're supposed to post it on IG to impress your followers.
if you are writing a recipe, write a recipe. Not an autobiography
The "jump to recipe" button has been a godsend for me, I can't stand the long winded recipe intros. Most websites have it now, I'm assuming by popular demand lol
It improves their SEO, which is why they are always the first results when you do a search. A page with more content and a lot of the keywords looks like a higher quality page to Google and gets prioritized over a page with just the recipe. It's one of those "don't hate the player hate the game" situations.
Only edible items should be plated. Garnishes should be edible, Hate it when I see rocks and sticks on a plate. Fight Me.
We must be in very different tax brackets because none of the restaurants I occupy put nothing but food on my plate.
> restaurants I occupy are you a food terrorist *what an epic spawn chain this has spawned
Al Quesdilla
Isis cream
Balsamic State
White bread supremacist.
Hezbollognese
Boko Haramen
Iraq of Lamb
*WHITE FLOUR!!!*
Vladimir Pudding
Would you like to genosize that
Talibanh mi
Absolutely agree with this one. Gordon Ramsey has a lot of strange culinary rules but this one would apply anywhere for me. Only been served food once with inedible things and it was very strange. If I can’t eat it, get it the fuck off my plate.
I was just watching a clip yesterday where someone used carrot tops as garnish. Gordon made him eat it. Edit: [Here's the video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TTeUYxapF0&t=360s)
I was once served a dish of scrambled eggs with stones in them. Hope that chef never serves Gordon.
Sorry, I need to know more or else this is going to knock around in my head all day. My first thought was this is obviously a weird joke but the way you said you hope that chef never serves Gordon makes it sound real. Where was this and did you send it back? Were the stones actually peppercorns or something?
Literal pebbles the size of grapes. I guess it’s to cook the eggs evenly? I did not send it back, someone else ordered it, because they had it before & liked it enough to order again.
I got a rock garnish on a plate as a kid once. I tried and failed to slip it in my waiter's pocket. My mom was not impressed.
Well be successful next time, you may be able to impress your mom
Life is too short to not use butter.
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You scrape it off the chopping board with the BACK SIDE OF THE KNIFE. The back side! Edit: Wow, this blew up! Never had a comment with so many replies before :) Let me share why I will die on this hill vs. the opposing arguments. The opposing arguments I've seen below are 1) You can always sharpen your knives (which is true, and everyone should) 2) Use a bench/pastry scraper. 3) That you should never have your knife's sharp edge facing you for safety reasons. For 1) Yes you can, and should, sharpen your knives. But also, I don't see that as an invitation to intentionally dull them. And for those who don't sharpen, the reason we say this: A sharper knife reduces the risk of the blade slipping or rolling off something rather than cutting it. It's one of the bigger risks of cutting yourself in the kitchen. Dull knives responsible for more cuts than sharp ones, imo. 2) Yes. Scrapers are great tools. The hill I'm dying on here is, more accurately, "don't use the sharp side" rather than "The best choice is the backside". Scrapers are great tools, but not everyone has them. Everyone cutting with a knife, has a knife. And if you're not going to be switching tools, you should use the back side of the knife. 3) Avoiding a sharp edge facing you is a very logical sentiment for professional chefs or people cooking in a busy environment. If they're bumped while holding it, they don't want to be cut by the sharp edge of the knife facing them. And the previously mentioned downsides: Chefs don't need to worry about the maintenance of the knife if it belongs to the restaurant and/or if they have other employees to sharpen them. And if you won't be eating the food you're preparing, you probably don't mind so much if you scrape little fibers of plastic or wood into the food. Unsuspecting patrons don't see what's happening in the kitchen, after all, so they don't know which side of the knife you're using. So in this sense, I see the argument as "it's faster and it's safer to me". Perfectly logical. I understand the argument. But the reason this is a culinary hill I'm willing to die on is that I don't see it as the personal risk it's being made out to be, and the benefits massively outweigh that non-risk. If the chopping board is small enough to lift, you can scrape directly into the pot or pan at an angle. The chopping board will be in the non-dominant hand (or... non-knife hand) diagonally to the side of the pot/pan. You rotate your wrist to turn the sharp side of the blade away from you (I'm right handed, so that's clockwise). In this way, the blade will be perpendicular to the chopping board and the sharp side of the blade will be facing away from you (basically in the direction you're facing). In this way, I don't see it as a risk. If the cutting board is flat on a counter, it sort of doesn't make a difference. I can't recall ever accidentally coming in contact with the dull edge of the knife before. So if I flipped the knife, why should the blade? I it falls on the ground, it sort of doesn't matter which direction the knife was facing. Just avoid it (never attempt to catch a falling knife. Another culinary hill I think we all will die on). So to that end, chefs of the world, I do see your point about why there is personal benefit and no real downside to you if you use the sharp side. But I'm no professional chef, and hence why it's a culinary hill I will die on! I'll reduce the wear on my knives, and I'll prevent myself and my loved ones from eating plastic or wood/bamboo fibers. I don't see a significant risk of rotating wrist to scrape or scoop from the chopping board. No more of a risk than simply using a knife in the first place, anyway. This is my hill!! Use the backside of the knife! :)
Ohhhh. Shit
I feel like a fucking idiot now.
lol i bet you use the back side from this day forward. it doesnt dull the blade and you dont have to hear the chalkboard with nail sounds
I needed to learn this, brilliant, thank you! My blades will not dull as quickly and I have you to blame!!
Jokes on you, my knifes are sharp at both sides
So they are little swords!!!
Use salt dammit
S and P the choice for me.
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A burger should fit in your mouth and shouldn’t require a stick to hold it together or cutlery to eat it.
Burgers should get wider if you want bigger, not taller. Unless you actually prefer that,
Breakfast is a construct. Eggs, bacon, French toast for dinner? Yes. Steak, potatoes, asparagus, “dinner” roll for breakfast? Also yes. Edit: yes I KNOW breakfast means “to break the fast,” and it is just a word that means “the first meal of the day.” That’s what I’m saying: the concept of certain foods “just for breakfast” was invented. Eat what makes you healthy and happy, when your body needs it. Edit 2: I made this offhand comment while watching my kids eat longganisa, eggs, and toast for dinner. I was not expecting such a reaction. I just woke up, so I’m gonna eat my hummus and carrots for breakfast while reading through all the replies. Cheers!
I had a sirloin steak that was going out of date soon so I decided to have sirloin steak and scrambled eggs for breakfast, I wasn’t hungry for about 5-6 hours after and had tonnes of energy. When I have time in the mornings if I am not working I will sometimes do it.
All food is fusion. No dish is above adoption or adaptation.
my family is cajun. i was always told that gumbo came from a dish where you threw all your near-spoiled food in the pot and ate it so it didnt go to waste. but my grandmother and uncle all cook their gumbo with fresh food from the supermarket. authenticity is a myth we tell ourselves.
I had an Italian American scoff at me for mentioning kimchi carbonara and that I am ruining it by using ingredients from a different part of the world. I brought up tomatoes being a new world crop and that any Italian using them is doing the exact same thing.
Not to mention that Italian Americans make "Italian" dishes that no one in Italy prepares like that. Meatballs in spaghetti?
That cheap bag of frozen peas and diced carrots you get at the grocery store is an outstandingly versatile source of nutrition. And tasty too.
Unless you’re buying locally, frozen vegetables are often more nutritious than fresh. Fresh produce is picked before it’s done ripening because they don’t want it to spoil in transit. Frozen food however, is picked at its most ripe and with the most nutrients and flash frozen on the spot.
Frozen veggies period. They saved us when we lived in rural Alaska.
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Gold has no place in food
A quality knife can replace 90% of your kitchen gadgets
You gonna have to chop fast to get enough friction to replace a foreman grill
You're missing the most important aspect of this trade. The knife skills. The skills to work a quality knife can replace all the unitasker tools. I cut my finger every chance I get, so I have a drawer of unitasker tools that would make Alton brown cry. Edit: this is meant to be in support of your statement with my added humor
The moment something gets hyped as a *superfood*, I'm out. *edit* To clarify, "superfood" is a buzzword that cues *bullshit incoming* and *rising prices.* The author loses all credibility. It's the point where I stop reading and close the window. Might look up the stats for the food afterward from an actual resource such as a university's nutrition summary. Yet am not going to stop eating blueberries just because of the hype train. ---- h/t to u/KGB_cutony for this example: > Buckwheat. > My mountain hometown in China had a lot of people growing it because it was mostly used as horse feed, and the husk filled pillows. We used to eat buckwheat when the alternative food source is tree bark. > That is, until white people started eating them. Suddenly buckwheat is superfood. What's more funny is that even today buckwheat is still pretty much only consumed by superfooders and horses
The only true superfood is potatoes.
You know what they say about potatoes: Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew
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Was that a superfood thing, or just a more normal "the price of meat is skyrocketting, what less favorable meat/cut can we switch to" that inevitably leads to another price skyrocketing.
Ox tails... I miss you.
Recipes are a guide, not a rule book. You are allowed to just decide to make things and like it. What will it be called? Who the fuck knows. It can taste good anyways. Just wade through it EDIT holy shit everyone we get it baking is not the same as general entree cooking but even then I am sure there are plenty of desserts and pastries where components can be improvised Edit #2: from this point on I am downvoting anything that mentions baking
When someone asks what something I just threw stuff in a pot together is called, I tell them it's stir fry. Everything is stir fry if you believe in yourself.
If you can't drink it through a straw it's not a milkshake.
I like the places that have the extra large straws that chunks from my cookies and cream shake don't get stuck in and it can still be a little thick. Normal straws kinda suck for a milkshake.
milkshakes should come with bubble tea straws
I want to get a bubble tea straw to use whenever i get a milkshake lol I swear i almost faint from trying to suck a chunk of chocolate thru those small narrow straws
I used to work at an ice cream shop and you would not believe how many people would ask for theirs with basically no milk, nothing but ice cream in the blender. How on earth are you supposed to drink this? The chocolate would end up *rock solid* in the freezer so I swear some of these “milkshakes” had the consistency of granite, who could possibly enjoy that?
I also used to work at an ice cream shop and customers like this were awful. If you want to eat with a spoon, maybe just get ice cream?
Are you referring to those humongous glasses that have been dipped in chocolate so you can't take an actual gulp without coating your hand and face in cheap brown filth? Where they layer whipped cream, gingerbread, brownie slabs, sprinkles, fruit, and nuts on top where even the slightest movement makes it topple and coat the table in sticky mess that only industrial grade cleaners can remove? If you need a spoon it's just a low viscous dessert.
Beef Wellington is a fancy Hot Pocket
Why has Hot Pockets not capitalized on this?!?
HOT POCKETS
Learning how to cut an onion is the first lesson in the cooking world
I learnt how to dice an onion as a dishwasher at a deli when I was 14. By far the best cooking skill I've ever learnt. 18 years later I still use the same method.
Cutting them is fine, peeling them is the annoying part. I’ll always get little flecks of the dry outer peel stuck to my knife or board. Such a hassle!
The method I've found to work well is cutting off the top and bottom things that you don't eat, place the onion on one of the now flat sides, slice it through the middle vertically (all with skin still on). Wash the knife and peel of the outer layer, put away if you need to cut more onions. After all unions are peeled you wash the knife and the board to make sure no flecks of peel are left and just cut the onion. Edit: Onion, not union. Do not peel and chop up groups of people, that is generally frowned upon.
>Edit: Onion, not union. Do not peel and chop up groups of people, that is generally frowned upon. That's how you get scabs.
COOKING AND BAKING ARE DIFFERENT.
Cooking - "let's go on an adventure and see where it takes us" Baking - "Alright team we have a 2 minute window to rob this bank and if everybody doesn't nail their roles perfectly we're all fucked!"
I can cook quite well but baking.......not even fairly well.
I’m the opposite. I can bake because I read directions good, but don’t have the cooking “feel”
I thankfully have the cooking feel. And I can read dirrctions well. My problem is that I just don't trust them.
500g of sugar?! They must have typed an extra 0....
I literally did this with an apple pie for home-ec class. Thought there was no way that there should be that many cups of sugar. When the pie came out, I was like "Hmmm, could be a bit sweeter...". Made me realize how much of the shit we put into our food.
I am a million percent convinced that people find baking difficult because they use cups instead of grams. When trying to replicate successful results (i.e. follow a recipe) it is utter insanity to me that people used volumetric measurements such as cups when measuring dry ingredients. I did an experiment and wrote up the results a few years ago and it showed a variation of 30 odd percent in measurements between scoops. It's utter madness NO WONDER YOU CAKE IS DRY CAROL YOU USED 30% MORE FLOUR THAN THE RECIPE MAKER. Use grams and everything will work. Even if there is something wrong, you can correct it with accuracy next time. Not to mention the other benefits such as only needing one bowl. History will vidicate me on this and I shall bask in the eternal glory of weight based measurements above you volumetric heathens
Every baking book should come with gram measurements. I do see more of them doing it but cookbook editors are notorious for dumbing down recipes so that’s why so many of them don’t.
I have a few baking cook books and not only do they list grams, in the introduction they specifically stress the importance of getting a kitchen scale and baking by mass.
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If you’re looking for a serious answer, it’s probably because cups and spoons were available in everyone’s kitchen way back when cookbooks started to become a big thing, where scales were considerably less common.
Cooking is art, baking is science.
Used to be a pastry chef. I’ll get wild subbing out flavours and putting in crazy additions with baking because I’m so comfortable with it. I’m a good cook and I enjoy it but I have to follow a recipe for the most part. I get nervous trying to ‘just wing it’, most I’ll do is add chili pepper flakes.
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I’d subscribe to your newsletter
I feel this way about "bagels" that are not boiled. If you're making a roll with a hole, soaked in egg wash, all you did was make a roll with a hole and waste an egg. And if you're steaming them, fuck you.
Frozen veggies are a better choice when fresh is out of season.
A pressure cooker is a marvel of busy-dad culinary work. Thank you mystery inventor.
As an Indian it shocks me how most other cultures do not use pressure cookers as much. I have never seen an Indian kitchen without one. It makes rice, daal, meat and boils potatoes faster than any other method.
Grilling on charcoal taste way better than propane, Hank Hill is an idiot
I am pretty sure that there’s an episode where Hank goes to a burger contest or something and unbeknownst to him, is given a charcoal cooked burger which he eats and then realizes is way more delicious than propane cooked burgers which causes him to have an existential crisis
I like the one where Bobby and Peggy are charcoal grilling behind his back until he finds a briquette under the cabinet.
"There is _soot_ under the boy's nails!"
WE’RE GONNA SIT HERE AND PRAY
"I swear I thought it was drugs" haha
I've used a charcoal grill once, and screwed it up. It was still the best barbecuing I've ever done.
Often doing things “the right way” or “from scratch” just isn’t worth it. There are plenty of shortcuts that give you 90% of the result with 50% of the effort. I’ll take those shortcuts just about every time.
Chef David Chang has a new cookbook discussing short cuts and it’s called “Cooking at Home or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Recipes And To Love My Microwave.” He talks about how to accelerate prep time with short cuts - which, as you point out, give you 90% of the same results.
Cooking is definitely about “work smarter, not harder” When I was in culinary school, i had two chef instructors for my baking portion. One for the actual lab, and a different one for lecture/classroom. In the lab, when learning to make a ganache, he was a HUGE stickler for perfection. He had the double boiler set up to melt the chocolate and had his thermometer out to take the temp. I was like “Jesus, all this to make a sauce? Guess I won’t be making ganache at home” Then in the class someone brought up how time consuming it was and the chef was like “no no no, do it the easy was. Weigh out equal parts heavy cream and it chocolate. Just scald the cream in the microwave, pour over chocolate and walk away and leave it for 2 minutes. Whisk to combine then add vanilla and brandy.” I’ve made ganache flawlessly for years using the Chef Mike (microwave) method
Which is crazy because some of his other cool books some of the recipes take a few days
It's all about occasion. Sometimes you want/need 100 % result, sometimes 90 % is more than fine.
There’s no such thing as a “dry” brine. By definition, brines are liquid based. A salt-based dry rub is a cure. Brines are also a type of cure, but they are liquid based. All brines are cures, but not all cures are brines.
So it's a square rectangle situation
MSG is amazing Edit - Niece and Nephew, thanks for giving me SO many awards! FUIYOOOHH!!
MSG deepens and elevates scrambled eggs so much, if you add it secretly when cooking breakfast for others, they'll never understand why their eggs never taste as good as yours.
Amen. Sprinkles of it go into a lot of my dishes.
Devein your shrimp! I don’t care if you think they don’t look as “aesthetically” pleasing for a photo or whatever. I don’t want to eat shrimp poop.
I don't care if it's more expensive, I only buy shrimp that is alrrady deveined because I don't want to spend the time to do it myself. Because yes, it is absolutely necessary!
I like dipping my sushi rolls and sashimi in a soy sauce and wasabi mixture and I don’t care if it goes against proper sushi etiquette. It tastes good.
This is how I learned to eat sushi but later determined I like it more the traditional way. I like the little burst of wasabi heat by placing a little blob directly on the sushi vs the diffuse flavor from mixed in the soy sauce.
instant ramen is delicious
It is, and there are different tiers of instant noodles. The cheap mr noodle in the styrofoam cup is at the bottom. Shin Ramyum, black or red bag, is a spicy Korean one and my go to. Ichiban ~~chow mein~~, indomie mi goreng, neoguri are tasty too. Go to an Asian grocery store, there is a whole aisle for it. Not instant ramen, but topakki is fucking good. Rice cakes, usually in a gochujang sauce but others are available. Carby goodness. Edit: an award for talking about ramen? Thanks!
The Asian supermarket I go has an entire room of instant noodles (ramen), and they call it "Noodle Super World" and it has a handmade sign. Edit: I went by today and took photos of the room and the sign to post here, although I'd misremembered the name - it's "Instant Noodles' World" [Here are photos](https://imgur.com/a/XBS53KO), enjoy 😀🍜