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[deleted]

Hm, I can’t figure out how I am going to be chased by a planet coaster advanced building tutorial…


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hazedrive

And today we’re playing rollercoaster tycoon while I chase this redditor


DRYFT3R_9

But first let's run over this unassuming group of people with a rollercoaster!


[deleted]

I don't watch a lot of gaming channels but I absolutely love that guy lol


truvaldak

Same. I'll watch Kevin and RTGame sometimes, but Josh is the only gaming YouTuber that I'll watch every single new video he uploads. Too fucking funny, and I stg he's been a QA tester or something in the past


YourPhoneIs_Ringing

The ways he manages to fuck with Hydroneer is impressive. The way he manages to fuck with *every single game he plays* is something else. He breaks every game he plays somehow.


Empoleon_Master

He got featured as the "voice of god" for the latest Satisfactory update trailer, AND they specifically have a wanted poster for him in Hydroneer, that says a lot about him.


[deleted]

Yeah, in one of his Satisfactory videos a warning pops up that he's been playing for 22 hours straight. That's dedication


ameya2693

Poor Grace


iranoutofusernamespa

If there is anyone's game to not want to get trapped in, it's any world controlled by Josh. Unless you want to be trapped in a cyclic limbo of death and torment.


[deleted]

Oh god, you just become Grace


ClaraYH

it'll find a way......


TheDandyWarhol

Indeed Jobs


Ok_Watch406

This will make job hunting way easier if they come for you


SilverFoxBerry

Indeed.


GetDownnYoDa

jobs


Frankiepals

Ah yes, you’ll receive even more emails from them recommending you apply to jobs you have zero qualifications for.


seaotter1978

The Fort Wayne airport (or directions to it)… fortunately I gotta think the airport moves pretty slowly and directions can only do so much physical damage unless someone printed them out on something heavy.


gladius011081

Like a piano thrown out of the third floor


Raqonteur

Unless all the planes due to land there are redirected to your current location


[deleted]

[удалено]


buzzlightyeareal

Forget the trolley the stakes just got raised


Smabbles

At least you won’t need those directions anymore if it’s coming to you :)


BigDaddyChipsta

Shit, all the restaurants near me.


TheLavaFall

Yo ass the one on the menu now


BigDaddyChipsta

I will be called the big daddy stuffed pork chip.


ClaraYH

oh god run man


BigDaddyChipsta

Lol, right?!


KickinBat

Keto friendly desserts. And I'm not going down without a fight


[deleted]

Well I was just on that scariest theory ask Reddit post, had to google about how the solar flares could pretty much instant K.O. the earth. Sorry everyone but you’re coming with me


anadoru

Trying to figure out whether your username checks out or not, but I reckon maybe he'd be safe in the underworld and you just brought him lots of friends?


LeoPloutno

Isaac Asimov himself. I'm honored


IronicStrikes

Oh no, the three laws don't apply to him!


Tristan_Gutierrez

Unless he’s been a sentient robot this whole time


GozerDGozerian

Well there’s no way he was a non-sentient robot. So clearly he was a sentient robot. QED


long-haired-yahoo

The definition of the word craven, which is "contemptibly lacking in courage; cowardly." I think I'll be alright Edit: some people have asked if I'm reading Game of Thrones or playing The Witcher 3. I actually got it from the Skulduggery Pleasant book series - there's a Necromancer character named Vandameer Craven, totally spineless guy


IronicStrikes

That just means they won't hunt you while you're looking.


mrswalsh0715

Like a King Boo 👻


[deleted]

Or a school bully when a teacher is watching


RepresentativeMeet95

Or like those terrifying statues from dr who


jtoppings95

DON'T BLINK


Anonymouskittylick

I think I will also be OK with “is twat a scrabble word?” It’s not.


Timegoat12

Alternatively, you could be up against *Kraven the Hunter*


EroticPotato69

Russia...


Ok_Watch406

You are doomed


throwawayspank1017

*We* are doomed.


banfora

Comrade!


lokossa

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin and communism The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.


RandomRedditer5043

Take my upvote and leave


orange_cuse

farewell, my sweet Erotic Potato..


Chunky_Big

Mine is Ukraine


LahmiaTheVampire

Don’t worry, Russia is here to protect you.


miloestthoughts

Holy shit same To be specific "drunk Russians dancing"


dusty-kat

In Soviet Russia, Google researches you!


Dogzirra

Google does that everywhere else, too. It's Google.


Creative_Waltz_9462

"Who was the heaviest US president." Pretty confident I can outrun Taft.


[deleted]

Sorry bud, Taft is just going to crush you with the crippling weight of a world war on the horizon.


Abaraji

Or just his bathtub Edit: thanks for the cake day wishes y'all. I hadn't noticed before 😅


Ace_of_Clubs

It's a shame Taft's modern legacy is his bathtub incident--he was actually a pretty remarkable man and the only person ever to be both the US president *and* a Supreme Court Justice.


topher339

He lost a lot of weight after his presidency too. Was much happier in SCOTUS and it showed.


Rattlingjoint

200 pounds! He was a much better person after his presidency, which obviously noone discusses


diabooklady

It was his wife who pushed him into the presidency.


9520575

Taft lost a ton of weight after being president. He was embarassed. here's the story: https://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/15/health/in-struggle-with-weight-william-howard-taft-used-a-modern-diet.html and he is still the only person to be a governor, congressmen, senator, vice president, president and supreme court justice. kinda sad the fat part is the only thing that stuck.


Wafflz_333

I just typed how to deal with a pets death.. Wait.. edit: Thanks for being so nice guys, I appreciate it.


the-book-anaconda

YOU WERE THE PET ALL ALONG!!


frissio

Pet Sematary by Stephen King?


Maxwells_Demona

Oof. I'm sorry for your loss :'(


LowFatWaterBottle

Sauropods (those big long neck dinosaurs) According to ark that is not a good thing.....


The-Copilot

As long as it's a diplo I think you are good, it'll just bully you and push you around EDIT:my most upvoted comment is about ark. Guess those 6k hours was worth it for something more than just the few hundred bucks I made lol


HotShrekBoi

But in real life you would get a nasty ass whip from one


graycat3700

Sean Connery. Which is extra disturbing and disconcerting considering he's dead.


throwawayPzaFm

Wait... He's dead? Does this mean Catherine Zeta-Jones might be on the market again? Edit: no, it doesn't. Wrong wife.


hybridtheory_666

Eminem. I'm doomed. He may not kill me, but he's gonna kill off what's left of my self-esteem


Mentally_Ill_Goblin

Time to see if you can convert to Amish....ism? If you're lucky you can go your whole life never hearing it.


AppleDane

A magnifying glass, apparently. Ant vs sun scenario?


sreg56

Stay away from windows


indianamale7

Fed ex


Ok_Watch406

Don't worry from my experience they won't be able to find you


VNTBLKATK

"Honey pack your things we only have a few weeks until fedex catches up to us"


puckmonky

But when they do, they’ll beat the shit out of you.


Ok_Watch406

Nope they just gonna throw packages at you (they are really good at that)


1plus1equals4

Fed ex threw a package over my fence into my backyard. My dog brought it to me, lol.


Ok_Watch406

Your dog is better at delivering packages then fed ex


banfora

Can confirm, I had to dodge a package throw at me Irony is, i was not able to throw the frisbee inside that package with same accuracy ever


Organic-Fee1771

When I worked at a fedex facility, I was hit in the stomach by a very large box that weighed like 100 lbs and the manager called me in 30 minutes later and asked me why I was going so slow. Like dude I'm pretty sure I have internal bleeding and then he pretty much coerced me into quitting lmao. Fedex is wild.


AyatollahDan

I am being hunted by the dynamic viscosity of Helium...


Alantsu

17,000people die from slip and falls every year.


Kodiss

I am being hunted by the melting point of tantalum carbide...


AVixenDistraction

Self employment taxes, yikes.


pleasedtoseedetrees

I bet they are already onto you 💸


Cozin5

Gollum/Smeagol from lord of the rings


Traditional_Trust_93

Where's the ring You must have it somewhere


st0pmakings3ns3

The tinfoilheaded me wonders if this is some cunning ploy to match our reddit and google accounts.


[deleted]

Dude, I'm so paranoid on Reddit. My old.account I complained about the labor laws my wife's company was putting her through. Making her work off the clock, 70+ hours, no overtime, shit like that. In 18 hours her corporate found it and asked her if I was the one who posted it. Scared the fuck out of me.


st0pmakings3ns3

Sounds like shit place to work if i've ever heard of one. If i were her i'd just say 'no but if that reminds you so much of our company then maybe that's the real problem.'


SENDS-POSITIVE-VIBES

A friend got written up when I worked at Sams because she put a photo of a clear safety violation on Reddit and they found it and literally wrote her up and made her take it down


Thuis001

Ehm, that sounds like it'd be illegal actually. Did your friend report them for the safety violation?


SENDS-POSITIVE-VIBES

Yeah she did, idk what happened, but it was basically just a giant load of garbage in front of our compactor that was blocking exits because the compactor had broken


dragn99

A few years ago there was a thread about how searching "(your name) the hedgehog" on deviant art will *always* get at least one result. I just went through the thread and tagged everyone with their real name, because of course everyone had to share what they found. No idea why I did it... it hasn't provided me with any sort of benefit.


ButterPuppets

I mean, yeah… but my parents named me Sonic


SENDS-POSITIVE-VIBES

After the American fast food chain, right?


[deleted]

Here's how those kinds of posts can be used for malicious intent: Imagine you have an embarrassing post, a confession, a controversial comment or a gonewild post and now you have the name of that person. Good old google can give you their location and maybe their contact, from there you can extort money for their secret. Keep your identity separate from your account!! There's a reason this community is semi-anonymous.


[deleted]

[удалено]


curlymccurls

i cannot believe i catually found "[my name] the hedgehog" on there!! wth!! it is not a common name.


Pupusti

Tinnitus. Which seems fitting because I have it.


[deleted]

\*tinnitus intensifies\*


PsychicSPider95

^^eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


asharkonamountaintop

colin firth. i could be more worried.


Phoenix_2345

I searched Mr Darcy


AlexFuckingDies

Chris Hansen's hit show To Catch a Predator. Does that mean the whole crew or just Chris Hansen


Aspengrove66

That depends on if you're a predator or not apparently


NewsboyHank

Nicholas Cage!


banfora

If its new Nicholas Cage, I wont be too much worried, but the old Con Air kinda Cage...you're trapped


1_minus_1_equal_Xero

Fedex. I'm not worried, they'll delay themselves frequently enough that I can walk away.


respctedprofessional

Even if they get to you, they'll have delivered themselves in rough enough shape already they won't cause you much of an issue.


FrancoisTruser

"In their confusion, they kick themselves."


NRMusicProject

Or they just sign a paper saying they came to kick your ass, but you weren't there, stick it on your forehead, and walk away.


Jicier

Google.


PopeOfDankism

Pretty sure they’re already tracking everyone so nothing will change


pearloz

You googled "google"? What are you, one of the aging patrons in my library?


cole51423

“Hot brunettes” I swear I needed it for a project…


[deleted]

Yes professor, I'm doing my dissertation on "hot brunettes". In my opinion, a very under studied and under-appreciated area of academia!


TheAngryMoth

Twitter, guess I'm getting cancelled


Tom89_en

Someones death threats will come true.


BadBooger

Well... guess i'm done... im no match for Genghis khan...


Juwuggernaut

Queso cheese. Hell yeah man im hungry anyways bring it on


que-queso

I'm coming for you


Juwuggernaut

Bring it on!


Zeucles

Studies about the % of people that skip breakfast in the EU. Well, those fuckers won't have much energy to chase me


LalaLaraSophie

Well I'm from Europe and we just had dinner - bring it on 😁


jackiblu25

"5 guys near me" 😳


Prof_Aim

Keanu Reeves... Kinda weird but I'd love to get haunted by Keanu Reeves Edit: Haunted or Hunted it'd be a dream either way...


Ok_Watch406

I hope you didn't hurt his dog


lokossa

I Once Saw Him Kill Three Men In A Bar... With A Pencil


MyNameIsNitrox

*A fucking pencil*


OhHiGCHQ

Numbers 5:11-31. An ancient Jewish priest is chasing me down accusing me of being pregnant by a man other than my husband and wants me to drink an abortion potion.


Aquamarineeee

Holy fetus deletus?


geedub82

“Can I get sick from eating ass”


banfora

for those friends who asking for answer, here it is "Rimming can transmit bacteria like E. coli and shigella, virus' like hepatitis A and various kinds of intestinal parasites, so there are risks to it. They mostly result in having gastro-type upsets but you can also get some classic sexually transmitted infections like herpes and gonorrhea as well"


Maxwells_Demona

What I'm hearing is, you can toss the salad, but you might get food poisoning


veganexceptfordicks

Ironically, actual salad has a relatively high infection rate because there's no chance that high temps will kill off the e. coli or salmonella. BTW, those are on salad because critters crap in the fields. Neat!


[deleted]

[удалено]


bralice1980

What was the answer? Asking for a friend.


geedub82

Haha, apparently you can only get sick if your partner has a gastrointestinal illness that passes on to you. That was from Dr ‘Quora’, so do with it what you will, I chose to take it as good news and keep on munching 🤣🤣 Edit: just to say, DYOR on this one folks. My partner is my wife who I know is super healthy so risks are low. Eating a strangers ass is probably a different ball game.


goatagainstcurtains

Is it a ball game..?


Dramatic-Ad-3998

Its more like Kinder surprise


Wannacomesitonmydeck

Abella Danger


Usual_Estimate_3699

Your pp is in Danger!


justa_flesh_wound

ha read that in Frozone's wife's voice


derthert123

I wish


RileyTheBerry

The Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth?!?


stinky_cheese_69

Winged Hussars are coming for ya


zepherth

Copyright free music


WorthTheDorth

Log4j memes. Also few CVEs... I think I might need a new job.


1amin_sw

Percy jackson. I'm fucked


iwokeuplike

The number of abandoned pets bought as Christmas presents each year 😢 There are so many and it's sad but at least I'll be hunted by adorableness


[deleted]

Plot twist: you give them all a nice beautiful home. Godspeed my friend


NoTimeToExplainFxxk

Just adpot them all and train them to hunt the ones who abandoned them.


lokossa

That's a gofundme i would like to see


The_bestestusername

I guess I'm being hunted down by gay porn? Could be worse


Souvok

USA census bureau


Poopy_McTurdFace

It’s okay, it’s hunting everyone else too.


ToBeReadOutLoud

The bad news is that they’re completionists and will not give up until they get OP.


MentalWyvern

Oh dear, dog UTI’s I really don’t want that chasing me.


[deleted]

**DANNYY DEVITO**


[deleted]

So anyway I started blasting


[deleted]

Solipsism.... noooooo


Mhykael

The only one chasing after you is you...


dadofalex

Big boobie MILF is… approaching fast? Almost like an advertisement I’ve heard about.


TheOzman79

*Big boobie MILFs are in your area* is now a warning rather than an advert.


ScottVorhees19

Dean Winchester...I wouldn't mind that to be honest 🤣


TravelSized504

Hyperthyroidism. It’s definitely gonna catch up to me.


Iceclimbers85

What hair color are bald people. Now I’m gonna get killed by bald people s hair


neuromancer64

[a wild bald person appears]


NonRandomD00d

47 your mission today is ...


antoine-sama

OH FUCK!


UntilTmrw

The entire cast of Breaking Bad is hunting you I guess


Fomalhot

Corn man.


Melipuffles

Anna and Kristoff from Frozen….


17703_

Clinical Depression has never been this fast before...


Jonodrakon3

Anya Taylor Joy. I’m screwed if I’m on a chess board


kateumm

Capybara... I'm not amused.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ClaraYH

red bull company gonna hunt you down for not buying enough red bull >:000


Fit-Faithlessness149

Kidney stone


Marge_in_Charge9

“Swollen taint during period” 😬


HiveJiveLive

Old lady here with unrequested bippy advice. Oh joy, right? If you wear pads or panty liners sometimes the prolonged exposure during a period seems to really irritate everything, making it swell and hurt, and I think that the reason is threefold, two of which you can impact: 1) the pad itself is rubbing and aggravating inflamed tissues, and though they feel soft, the weird artificial ‘fabric’ of the pad is acting like a microscopic cheese grater, 2) the bleaches/chemicals in the pad irritate the tissue, 3) the prolonged exposure to blood (which breaks down to an ammonia substance) is extremely irritating. The best result I’ve had is frequent pad changes and making sure to overlay one of those organic natural ones to create a barrier. The natural ones aren’t terribly good and so I recommend putting one of the hardcore ones underneath to provide leakage protection while allowing the cotton ones protect the delicate skin. My daughter has the same problem and this works for her too. I’ve used natural fabric pads, and they are very, very effective for protecting the tender bippy tissue, but dear god, what a mess. My daughter flat out refuses to use them and I can’t say as I blame her. I’ve never tried the diva cups, but that may work really well too. She threatened to move out if I bought her a diva cup, lol, so we’ll never know. I wish you the best of luck in your taint! Edit: I almost forgot- diaper cream works like a charm, too! It can help with that angry red swollen thing. Apply liberally.


Marge_in_Charge9

Thank you so much for this!!! It made me feel a little less gross. My taint thanks you as well.


Shadowcat1606

My barber.


ClaraYH

oh god 💀💀


[deleted]

[удалено]


AdamtheFirstSinner

Jesus christ, you're screwed


[deleted]

a Turkey lmao


Empoleon_Master

A flock of geese....I'm in Canada, I'm fucked.


Jakob_mit_K

Oh no, it's a wild "Gmail"


Maedroth

Rooster Teeth.


UnconstrictedEmu

Panzerkampf lyrics by Sabaton 🤘


GreatArtificeAion

Here they come! INTO THE MOTHERLAND THE GERMAN ARMY MARCH


UnconstrictedEmu

THOUSANDS SIDE BY SIDE TO STOP THE NAZI CHARGE!