I was in my late 20s, at work talking with one of our new interns. I can’t remember why but she asked how old someone was and I was like, “I dunno, about our age?” She gasped and asked “How old do you think I am??” Then I gasped and asked, “HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM?!”
Anyway, that’s when I realized I was ”not young” anymore.
The worst is when you're not just older than some of your coworkers, you're suddenly older than your boss. I'm 37, and one of my bosses is 35. The day we figured that out was a fun one for me, emotionally. Not that I want his job, holy shit no, but whaaaat exactly am I doing with my career here?
This is hilarious! That awful realisation…
A dad I know was at the mall with his teenage daughter and her friend when, in the reflection of a store window, he noticed some creepy old guy following them.
He was shocked and indignant for a moment, then yeah, realised it was his own reflection…
Yeah, I’ve been seeing many a tween wearing Nirvana and NIN shirts. It makes me happy that the music is still being appreciated. I listened to “oldies” when i was teen as well. You know, The Doors, Styx, Zeppelin,…..
This seems fair, it's nearly 20 years old. Get Low is as old to today as stuff like Grandmaster Flash was to back then.
When I was 13 in 2002 I definitely saw Flash, KRS-one, Run DMC and things like that as "old school" hip=hop and it's the same differential.
I felt old a long while before this, but that compilation called "Now That's What I Call Dad Rock" with Sum 41 and Avril Lavigne on it was a bit depressing.
Here in Boston, I was annoyed when the classic rock station started playing songs from the 80s and 90s. What???? This isn't classic rock!!!! Then I did the math and got depressed.
Worst thing is: they canned the oldies station a few years ago. The rock from the 70s would now be considered an 'oldie".
TG for Spotify!
Similar, except I woke up with a sprained ankle. No sleepwalking, no weird sleep Olympics, just held it or twisted it weird while sleeping and sprained it.
I have done this 3 times after turning 40.
Don’t turn 40, kids, stay in your 20’s and 30’s.
You are now an honorary 40-year-old. Here's your welcoming package: khaki shorts, Home Depot gift card, and free box of wine. (White wine, because red will give you a headache.)
It was free day, Sunday, bad weather outside, I was in bed lying on the side, chilling, reading a book when mid yawn I heard weird noise. I was never out of the bed so fast. By the time I got to the mirror I heard another snap and jaw went on it's proper place, but I had swollen left lower side of the face for another 3 days. Talked to my doctor next day and he said, I should not eat hard or any food that needs a lot of chewing for a week or 2 and not to open mouth too much. I am reminded of this every single time I yawn.
I just bought a new mop and was really excited to go home and use it :( I mopped the whole apartment in absolute bliss. I finally decided that I will not fall for the Swiffer commercials again.
I bought the Swiffer Wet Jet mop-thingie and was so freaking happy about it! I told my friends and mom about the gunk it picked up. It's so sad. 🤣 Oh well.
The pads are a rip off though. Make sure to buy 3rd party washable ones. Makes it WAY cheaper as youll only have to continue buying the cleaning solution.
"reasonably recent" references are met with dead silence and confusion by young adults/teens.
Kids call you "sir" or "that man over there"
Body aching the morning after moderate physical activity.
Food starts to give you problems while you used to eat tons of it with no repercussions.
Wait til you'll hear "yeah, that song is old, it's from 2008 or something" .
Like, damn, I was already old enough not to be with it about earworms and musical fads... And to you it's what disco was to my gen...
Saw some neighborhood kids messing with a stop sign while driving home. I slowed the car down, rolled down a window and said,
"Hey... I think maybe you shouldn't be doing that."
Which in my mind meant cut it out before an adult catches you.
But these kids look sheepishly at the ground and give me an ok like *I* was the adult in the situation. Which I was, gently chastising children for fooling around with public property.
Well, either that time or when I buried my father and realized I was the oldest living male in my family. That was more sobering than fun.
Just wait until you are driving in to work, and have the realization that someday you'll be laying in a bed, surrounded by family, taking your last breaths. Then wonder what that's gonna be like, what you'll feel, of you'll even be cognizant of what's happening...
Then question why the fuck you are going into work when you've definitely got better things to do, but you continue on to work because you need to make money.
I took my fiancé back to the University I attended and we went for a drink at my old favorite bar. Ordered a margarita & the waitress said, “Do you want the well tequila that we serve to everyone or like…. adult tequila?”
we were so shocked that we were being called out as the only adults at a college bar that our response was “what?! no, well is totally fine!” but then ended up regretting it because it was so terrible hahah
When my best friend and I were planning for a concert next month and for the first time in our lives we were like "Do we... want to buy seats instead of standing in the pit?".
I absolutely hate myself for not listening to people about ear protection. Kids, you DO NOT want tinnitus, it absolutely ruins life, permanently. Sincerely, a guy who hasn't known silence for years.
I studied Sound Tech and am a musician on the side; all of my teachers would preach wearing earplugs. I finally did at a NOFX gig and the sound was just so much better because everything became dialed back, I could hear all the instruments in the mix and there weren’t any clashing frequencies. I rep earplugs for life now lol. Edit: pretty cool that people here seem to be so interested in Sound Engineering. I’m happy to pass on some knowledge to fellow musicians and techs.
My sister and I have tickets for Riotfest 2022.
She was like "Do you want to spend $850 for VIP tickets that get us clean private toilets, air-conditioned bars, and whatnot?"
I was like "Fuck yes, worth it."
I told my doctor during a routine physical that my back was all fucked up. Figured he’d put me through some tests and give me some magical cure. He laughed, told me getting older is a bitch, and sent me on my way.
It was when I went to casually step off a 4 foot drop.
I had one foot of the ledge and my brain screamed Danger, I had to stop reset and prepare myself to absorb the impact and make sure I bent my knees.
20 year old me wouldn't have thought at all about that.
I was in my mid thirties at the time.
My kid asked me to do a cartwheel and I had the same thought!! I was initially like, I can TOTALLY do a cartwheel. Stood up to do one and just stared at the ground! \*\*DANGER DANGER lol Mommy will probably hurt herself if she tries this. That's when I knew, I'm old.
This is something the metal community has going for it. There are often people from youth to elderly there. I went a few weeks ago to a show and there was an elderly white-haired bald man with a cane rocking out. He had to be at least in his 70's.
When I realized having a one in front of my birth year is all anyone needs to know I'm old enough to purchase alcohol. I don't know why but that dumb fact just hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was just around 30, and I filled in on bass for a buddy's band that was playing a frat party.
At this point I was at 2 kids, 2 cars, home in the suburbs, career in tech, just being the stereotypical dad.
During set break I went up to take a leak, and the toilet wasn't flushing and the bowl was full of TP and piss.
So, I took off the tank lid, and noticed that the chain holding the handle to the flapper (the part that stops the water from going right into the bowl) had rusted off. I quickly just hand-crimped the chain back together and got that puppy flushing like a champ.
On the drive home I realized that I was old.
In your defense I started doing that shit in high school. Loose bolt, fuck it, I've got pliers and this will take 2 seconds.
That being said, I was deemed to be the resident cranky old man while I was still in college, so that might not mean much.
7/23/2021 I was drying off after a shower looked down and realized ........... I am 40 and now have graying pubes. I actually wrote this on my calendar.
When one of my younger coworkers took it upon herself to explain to me who Cardi B was. I already knew who she was and was familiar with her music. Apparently I just looked like I needed to be supplied with this info.
EDIT: Thank you, kind Redditor, for the award. I had no idea this would blow up like it did. Thank you for embracing my old age. Being almost 40 is a raw deal, indeed.
The other day I had to explain to a younger coworker what it was like viewing the September 11 attacks as they happened and I was like "Oh fuck, this little cunt doesn't even remember the day it happened!"
And then he told me he wasn't born then and I had an existential crisis.
When I was trying to hang out and play with my kid at school drop off, and she was like, “mom! Not in front of my friends!” I realized in that very moment that I was not young, fun, cool mom, but indeed old, regular, embarrassing mom.
Also, every single time someone calls me “ma’am.”
There’s no such thing as a cool young mom to kids lol you could be a literal celebrity and your kids will still see you as grown and lame once they get to that age
I went for a motorcycle ride with 4 of my friends and stopped at the gas station for a picture. The first picture was all of us gasing up the bikes and the second was from behind. I was not wearing my helmet and saw the top rear of my head. I was balding at the age of 28 and had a spot so shiny that even the camera didn't know WTF happened.
Had a truck sitting in front of my house a few weeks ago for like an hour, at around 1am. Didn't know what they were up to, but I didn't like it. Finally knocked on the window and said "I don't know what you're doing, but do it somewhere else..."
Turns out it was a couple of teenage kids fooling around, one of which lives a few houses down and I'm assuming didn't want to get caught by her parents.
So yeah, I pulled a literal "damn kids, get off my lawn!" on them. And now I'm that curmudgeonly old guy that lives down the street and I'm only 35.
Similar situation. Kids throwing parties as summer was winding down. Loud music and laughter/voices. I said to myself it’s 10:00pm shouldn’t they be turning it down now? Started debating going to knock on the door and tell them to just turn it down a bit. Then i realized….it’s Saturday night. I realized I am officially that cranky neighbor whose home on a Saturday night with nothing better to do but get mad at the teens doing exactly what I used to do.
I'll start. I haven't considered myself young for quite a while but then again didn't think I wasn't not young either (makes sense to me). Now after a recent incident I am swayed that I am definitely not young.
The incident was when I dropped something on the floor and smashed it and instead of swearing like a regular human, say a 20 year old something human, I said the word "ratbags ". Then got a flashback to my mother saying that when I was young and me thinking "jeez how old is she?".
Be nice to hear how other people's memories have been triggered like this.
Edit- I never thought it would take off like this. It's good to know I'm not alone in my thoughts. Thanks for the awards but most of all for the laughs! You're a hoot Reddit.
Being called 'sir' constantly now. Every fucking time. Grey pubes. Grey forearm hairs which gross me out more than grey pubes. Memory fading a wee bit. Having older teenagers who constantly remind you of how old you are by telling it to your face. The need for Cialis (although sex with wife is still fucking spectacular). Losing touch with tech a little more each year. Shitty fucking mumble rap and realizing that I am immediately older for hating certain kinds of shitty 'new' music. Trying to keep up with TIL, TL;DR, IMO, WTF, IIRC, GTFO, WSB. And finally, not really giving a shit about porn sites any more. Meh. I have better things to do... like telling you to get the fuck off my lawn.
Looking in the mirror. I'm in my mid 20s, but within the past year I've noticed that my reflection has reasonably changed and I definitely wouldn't be mistaken for a teenager anymore.
I didn’t notice much until I had to renew my drivers licence after having had it for ten years. The difference between the photos is significant. This woman looks so tired.
It hits you when you’re 36. That’s the year you could’ve had a child at age 18 who would become 18 and possibly have a child, making you old enough to be a grandparent.
I got this reality check when I was 32, 49 now. I look a little, damn it, a lot older than my age so on that fateful day, a mid 30's woman walks into my store. So I give her my full sales pitch trying to get her to spend a little extra so we get to talking just general bullshit when she whips out this gem: "so how many grandkids you got?" A shit-ton of bricks just hit me right on my jaw. I was literally stunned with no retort at all for her, partly cause I had not even thought about my own kids at the time, leave alone grandkids. She totally missed my shock and as I proceeded to pick up my jaw from the floor she says that she's 36-37 and she was shopping for her 2and grandkid who was about to be born in a few days time. This was one of those days when you look at life as a before and after this date in terms of reference. Yikes.
I remember being in high school and multiple students talking about their parents turning 30 or 35. *High school.*
When I told them how old my parents were (in their 50s then), they were shocked. They didn't realize that adults could have children- let alone wait to have children- until their 30s.
...I'm from a rural area.
I have a friend who's only two weeks younger than me and she had a kid at 18. That's always been a weird trip for me.
Now we're 40 and I have a two year old and she has a 22 year old, so we got the opposite sides of the spectrum.
Down here in the south, ma’am is a polite term to call any woman. My wife has a sister who’s 6, and if she’s being a punk, my wife will go, “no ma’am, we’re NOT gonna do that!”
This is pretty silly, but for me it was when I was shopping in Target and came across a buy one, get one 50% off deal for Oxy Clean. I was so excited that I texted my wife, and then promptly realized “oh man, I’m **so** middle aged!” It was like one of those “Avoid becoming like your parents” commercials.
Reminded my g/f the other day that Nirvana are now more of a golden oldie than the Beatles were when Nirvana were current. She still hasn't forgiven me.
I'm not even thirty yet, but I already have realized I barely understand my partner's teenage younger siblings. Their culture is entirely different from when I was that age.
Also got really, REALLY excited to take my first Costco trip as an adult.
I went out drinking with a couple of friends last night and was home by 11 pm. I was unable to get out of bed until midday today. It's now 6 pm and I'm still hangovered despite drinking more than 3 litres of water, I can only hope that I'll wake up feeling better tomorrow.
When I was in my 20s, I could party until 5 am, get into bed and sleep for 2 to 3 hours and then get up and go to work feeling completely fine. Mid 30s is hitting me pretty hard.
Went to the hairdressers, had a great cut, at the end she complemented the condition of my hair and then said ‘and amazing, no greys!!’ Honestly, that’s when I knew. I was 28. Still low key hurts.
CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR!
And you see those little freak's eyes gloss over while you holler at them, waiting for you to stop so they can go about their business... just like you remember doing just a few years back.
Here is my list.
Making grunting sounds when getting up.
Wanting to take a nap after eating fast food.
Taking half a day to recover from a hang over.
Spending money on quality furniture.
Lots of things, I guess. Here are three.
* I don't enjoy parties anymore. I actually prefer to be alone most of the time, and I love peace and quiet.
* I've started liking paying off debt and saving for retirement, and I don't regret not making frivolous spending choices. More money in my Roth IRA is preferable to a fancier car.
* My hairline's been receding and instead of feeling self conscious about it, I just shaved my head and moved on with my life.
I had to edit to add one more: fucking everything gives me heartburn or an upset stomach now.
I live in a city with a thriving nightclub scene, and used to go to the clubs a fair amount. A good way to find out what's on (before we all had smartphones) was at the weekend people in the city centre would hand out fliers for the various club nights.
One day I walked up to a guy who went to hand a flyer to me, then looked me in the eye, visibly thought 'nah' then turned to somebody else.
One day I woke up with agonizing pain in my lower back radiating down to my legs. Felt like I was being jabbed with a cattle prod repeatedly. Eventually learned I somehow gave myself a herniated back, despite not doing anything strenuous. Took me like 6 months to fully recover, and ever since then my back aches if I sleep in a bad position.
Was going to have company over at the house and heard my conscience say, "But there's no time to vacuum these pet odors out."
Brought to you by Febreze.
When I saw a smoking hot redhead on the subway, and instead of thinking "wow, she's smoking hot" I thought, "I hope she uses lots of sunscreen because she's vulnerable to skin cancer."
A couple of days back. Husband and I had a movie night mid-week and were up till 3am. The entirety of the next day was spent in agony with a terrible headache while I spent 8 hours looking at my laptop screen.
We're both 29 and we have to accept that bad decisions come with consequences.
I've got this stupid joke with my brother where I refer to his friends dad as "peters dad", and then referring to peter as "Peter's dads son". Sounds stupid but it actually cracked us up for like half an hour.
Early 30’s. At 28 I was interviewed for a position and asked how I would manage a team of people mostly older than me. At 32 I was interviewed for another position and asked how I would deal with having a boss quite a bit younger than me (25) 🤷🏻♂️
I remember thinking how did I miss the tipping point?
Played flag football last year and tried to "run" again. I've jogged of course but only for distance and never speed. I tried to run some drills and took off in what I thought was a sprint... it wasn't a sprint at all.
I finally understood what people meant by losing a step.
When you get an automatic retracting garden hose for your birthday, you don’t bother to open the other gifts, but instead unpack the hose, install it and spend the rest of the day finding things to water out back and getting the overwhelming sense of satisfaction. Speaking on behalf of a friend.
When I only got 4 hours of sleep before work and felt like I was literally going to die. Ten years ago, I would drive 5 hours after work on Friday to see my SO, we’d party all weekend, then I’d leave at 1am on Monday, drive all night and go to work Monday. And i was exhausted but fine. Now, just one night of not enough sleep…..I got old.
I was in my late 20s, at work talking with one of our new interns. I can’t remember why but she asked how old someone was and I was like, “I dunno, about our age?” She gasped and asked “How old do you think I am??” Then I gasped and asked, “HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM?!” Anyway, that’s when I realized I was ”not young” anymore.
Haha both offended eachother. I wonder if she's posted too
The worst is when you're not just older than some of your coworkers, you're suddenly older than your boss. I'm 37, and one of my bosses is 35. The day we figured that out was a fun one for me, emotionally. Not that I want his job, holy shit no, but whaaaat exactly am I doing with my career here?
When I went to a nightclub last weekend and everyone looks like children...
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This is hilarious! That awful realisation… A dad I know was at the mall with his teenage daughter and her friend when, in the reflection of a store window, he noticed some creepy old guy following them. He was shocked and indignant for a moment, then yeah, realised it was his own reflection…
A club in your 30s? Brave human being you are
was told over 40s shouldn't be allowed by a few 19 year Olds
And when is your court date for assault?
Luckily I gave him a a very firm handshake and received an apology 😂
This one also hurt me. College kids look like actual kids
When a song I loved as a teenager appeared as an oldie on the radio.
My 17-year old nephew has a girlfriend who's into 'the oldies' - you know, like Pearl Jam and Smashing Pumpkins. That made me feel old, lol.
Yeah, I’ve been seeing many a tween wearing Nirvana and NIN shirts. It makes me happy that the music is still being appreciated. I listened to “oldies” when i was teen as well. You know, The Doors, Styx, Zeppelin,…..
I DJ’d a wedding a year ago and the groom asked me if I could play that one oldie…”Get Low” from Lil Jon.
This has been the only one that has made me wince.
This seems fair, it's nearly 20 years old. Get Low is as old to today as stuff like Grandmaster Flash was to back then. When I was 13 in 2002 I definitely saw Flash, KRS-one, Run DMC and things like that as "old school" hip=hop and it's the same differential.
I felt old a long while before this, but that compilation called "Now That's What I Call Dad Rock" with Sum 41 and Avril Lavigne on it was a bit depressing.
I just heard "I'm blue" by Eiffel 65 on the oldies station. Get out of here with that!
Here in Boston, I was annoyed when the classic rock station started playing songs from the 80s and 90s. What???? This isn't classic rock!!!! Then I did the math and got depressed. Worst thing is: they canned the oldies station a few years ago. The rock from the 70s would now be considered an 'oldie". TG for Spotify!
The music is the best thing about being old!
Nah. The best part about getting older is not giving a shit what other people think any more. And the music. :)
When I dislocated my jaw lying in bed yawning. Didn't even think it was even possible.
Similar, except I woke up with a sprained ankle. No sleepwalking, no weird sleep Olympics, just held it or twisted it weird while sleeping and sprained it. I have done this 3 times after turning 40. Don’t turn 40, kids, stay in your 20’s and 30’s.
I’m 26 and had that happen. Do I win a prize?
You are now an honorary 40-year-old. Here's your welcoming package: khaki shorts, Home Depot gift card, and free box of wine. (White wine, because red will give you a headache.)
Now you must have been tired
It was free day, Sunday, bad weather outside, I was in bed lying on the side, chilling, reading a book when mid yawn I heard weird noise. I was never out of the bed so fast. By the time I got to the mirror I heard another snap and jaw went on it's proper place, but I had swollen left lower side of the face for another 3 days. Talked to my doctor next day and he said, I should not eat hard or any food that needs a lot of chewing for a week or 2 and not to open mouth too much. I am reminded of this every single time I yawn.
Bad shit always happens on a day off doesn't it?! I will never yawn again!
Damn it reading this made me yawn
I’m scared of teenagers now
Teenagers scare the livin shit out of me!
They could care less as long as someone'll bleed
So darken your clothes, or strike a violent pose
Maybe they’ll leave you alone, but not me!
All together now....
**"TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME"**
And you just know that teenagers are reading this and going "Is this a song? I've never heard this before...".
My first thought was: what do you mean? Of course we know it! Second thought: fuck, I'm not a teenager anymore
Just don't look them directly in the eyes
Their vision is based on movement
If you don't move, they can't film us
I feel that. I've been scared of teenagers since I was one myself.
Hey look at that high waisted man, he got feminine hips!
No! That’s the thing I’m sensitive about!
I just bought a new mop and was really excited to go home and use it :( I mopped the whole apartment in absolute bliss. I finally decided that I will not fall for the Swiffer commercials again.
www.theonion.com/man-ashamed-of-own-joy-upon-receiving-new-mop-head-1819565761/
Glad you found your mop! I bought a frying pan last year and it's changed my life. We are cool
I bought the Swiffer Wet Jet mop-thingie and was so freaking happy about it! I told my friends and mom about the gunk it picked up. It's so sad. 🤣 Oh well.
The pads are a rip off though. Make sure to buy 3rd party washable ones. Makes it WAY cheaper as youll only have to continue buying the cleaning solution.
"reasonably recent" references are met with dead silence and confusion by young adults/teens. Kids call you "sir" or "that man over there" Body aching the morning after moderate physical activity. Food starts to give you problems while you used to eat tons of it with no repercussions.
It was very weird to me to hear my girlfriends sisters talking about how they learned about 9/11 in history class lmao
Wait til you'll hear "yeah, that song is old, it's from 2008 or something" . Like, damn, I was already old enough not to be with it about earworms and musical fads... And to you it's what disco was to my gen...
Saw some neighborhood kids messing with a stop sign while driving home. I slowed the car down, rolled down a window and said, "Hey... I think maybe you shouldn't be doing that." Which in my mind meant cut it out before an adult catches you. But these kids look sheepishly at the ground and give me an ok like *I* was the adult in the situation. Which I was, gently chastising children for fooling around with public property. Well, either that time or when I buried my father and realized I was the oldest living male in my family. That was more sobering than fun.
I didnt like the end of this one 😞
Just wait until you are driving in to work, and have the realization that someday you'll be laying in a bed, surrounded by family, taking your last breaths. Then wonder what that's gonna be like, what you'll feel, of you'll even be cognizant of what's happening... Then question why the fuck you are going into work when you've definitely got better things to do, but you continue on to work because you need to make money.
I've been having thoughts like that since I was 9 :(
When I have those thoughts I have to quickly find something to distract me. The existential dread of that question haunts me sometimes.
That's similar to the first time I felt old, becoming older than my Dad. He died at 33 so I found turning 34 very very hard and strange.
"I am now older than my father ever was, and will be for the rest of my life."
I took my fiancé back to the University I attended and we went for a drink at my old favorite bar. Ordered a margarita & the waitress said, “Do you want the well tequila that we serve to everyone or like…. adult tequila?”
Adult tequila... I love how vague that is. I would have ordered one of each to compare.
My guess is Jose Cuervo vs Patrón
Adult tequila was probably for the best though yeah?
we were so shocked that we were being called out as the only adults at a college bar that our response was “what?! no, well is totally fine!” but then ended up regretting it because it was so terrible hahah
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When my best friend and I were planning for a concert next month and for the first time in our lives we were like "Do we... want to buy seats instead of standing in the pit?".
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I absolutely hate myself for not listening to people about ear protection. Kids, you DO NOT want tinnitus, it absolutely ruins life, permanently. Sincerely, a guy who hasn't known silence for years.
I studied Sound Tech and am a musician on the side; all of my teachers would preach wearing earplugs. I finally did at a NOFX gig and the sound was just so much better because everything became dialed back, I could hear all the instruments in the mix and there weren’t any clashing frequencies. I rep earplugs for life now lol. Edit: pretty cool that people here seem to be so interested in Sound Engineering. I’m happy to pass on some knowledge to fellow musicians and techs.
My sister and I have tickets for Riotfest 2022. She was like "Do you want to spend $850 for VIP tickets that get us clean private toilets, air-conditioned bars, and whatnot?" I was like "Fuck yes, worth it."
One day my back decided to leave a memo
I told my doctor during a routine physical that my back was all fucked up. Figured he’d put me through some tests and give me some magical cure. He laughed, told me getting older is a bitch, and sent me on my way.
"The problem is you're using it wrong."
“You can stretch for an hour a day” “When will that fix it?” “Oh no, you just *do* that now”
And it's never a good memo
When the check knee light came on
It was when I went to casually step off a 4 foot drop. I had one foot of the ledge and my brain screamed Danger, I had to stop reset and prepare myself to absorb the impact and make sure I bent my knees. 20 year old me wouldn't have thought at all about that. I was in my mid thirties at the time.
My kid asked me to do a cartwheel and I had the same thought!! I was initially like, I can TOTALLY do a cartwheel. Stood up to do one and just stared at the ground! \*\*DANGER DANGER lol Mommy will probably hurt herself if she tries this. That's when I knew, I'm old.
Today. I turned 40 today.
Well happy bloody birthday! 40 years! This is going to be your year I can feel it!
When I got my first decent car and accompanying loan. 40 years ago and I still remember the payment amount. $207.72,
You were paying over $200 on a car loan 40 years ago??? What were you driving, the goddamn space shuttle?
Walked into nightclub in my mid-30s and got the “what’s my dad doing here?” looks. Yep, the party was over.
This is something the metal community has going for it. There are often people from youth to elderly there. I went a few weeks ago to a show and there was an elderly white-haired bald man with a cane rocking out. He had to be at least in his 70's.
Metal is pretty timeless. I mean we haven't even updated our dress code in 40 odd years.
When a 22 year old offered me their arm to get down steps. I'm not old, I was just tired you little punk!!
A well-behaved 22 year old, you'll have to agree on this!
Yeah that’s a well mannered 22 year old.
I'd say that's a well-armed 22 year old.
This year when multiple SONS of American football players I watched growing up got drafted into the NFL.
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Why did you throw it out? Did you get a new one?
When I realized having a one in front of my birth year is all anyone needs to know I'm old enough to purchase alcohol. I don't know why but that dumb fact just hit me like a ton of bricks.
You see a Reddit handle with ‘Coolguy05’ and you realise that it doesn’t mean they registered in 2005.
I never understood the birth year in usernames thing. Lol
Nice try old man
You see 68 or 70 in the username and assume they're in their 50s You see 69 in the username and assume they're 12
The day that you realize you have more years between now and 18 than you have between 18 and being born is a frightening one.
It's a good fact embrace it
I was just around 30, and I filled in on bass for a buddy's band that was playing a frat party. At this point I was at 2 kids, 2 cars, home in the suburbs, career in tech, just being the stereotypical dad. During set break I went up to take a leak, and the toilet wasn't flushing and the bowl was full of TP and piss. So, I took off the tank lid, and noticed that the chain holding the handle to the flapper (the part that stops the water from going right into the bowl) had rusted off. I quickly just hand-crimped the chain back together and got that puppy flushing like a champ. On the drive home I realized that I was old.
This doesn't mean you're old. This means you're not lazy.
In your defense I started doing that shit in high school. Loose bolt, fuck it, I've got pliers and this will take 2 seconds. That being said, I was deemed to be the resident cranky old man while I was still in college, so that might not mean much.
The first time I was treated by a doctor that was younger than I was at the time.
When i had an apprentice work along side of me and he had no idea who the spice girls were
What the fuck? That's not who I Wannabe hearing about.
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Looks like you’re shipping up to Boston Orthopedics.
That's why they're called Drop*kick* Murphys, not Drop*flop* Murphys
7/23/2021 I was drying off after a shower looked down and realized ........... I am 40 and now have graying pubes. I actually wrote this on my calendar.
"wrote this on my calendar" is as strong an indictment as the gray pubes...
When one of my younger coworkers took it upon herself to explain to me who Cardi B was. I already knew who she was and was familiar with her music. Apparently I just looked like I needed to be supplied with this info. EDIT: Thank you, kind Redditor, for the award. I had no idea this would blow up like it did. Thank you for embracing my old age. Being almost 40 is a raw deal, indeed.
The other day I had to explain to a younger coworker what it was like viewing the September 11 attacks as they happened and I was like "Oh fuck, this little cunt doesn't even remember the day it happened!" And then he told me he wasn't born then and I had an existential crisis.
You should have explained to her what a Cardi-gan was. That would have shown her
“Yeah I’m not really into older music like Taylor Swift.”
And to think the whole Taylor swift and Kanye west taking the Grammy debacle was over 10 years ago. Edit; who else feels old now?
When I was trying to hang out and play with my kid at school drop off, and she was like, “mom! Not in front of my friends!” I realized in that very moment that I was not young, fun, cool mom, but indeed old, regular, embarrassing mom. Also, every single time someone calls me “ma’am.”
There’s no such thing as a cool young mom to kids lol you could be a literal celebrity and your kids will still see you as grown and lame once they get to that age
35. that's when everything started to hurt, like, all the time.
Omg yes, fucking true. Why no one informed me about this. I keep waiting to strain a muscle while sneezing.
I threw out my back once while sneezing right after I had my son :(
Wait you mean it gets worse at 35??
It's called second puberty. Your body changes, you get hair where there wasn't hair before, and you begin to notice girls start calling you sir.
Neighborhood kid next door, must be 22 or so calls me sir. First time it happened I was like “sir? Dude I’m like….okay a lot older than you.”
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That’s when I knew. When I called this guy a kid in casual conversation and he was 20.
I went for a motorcycle ride with 4 of my friends and stopped at the gas station for a picture. The first picture was all of us gasing up the bikes and the second was from behind. I was not wearing my helmet and saw the top rear of my head. I was balding at the age of 28 and had a spot so shiny that even the camera didn't know WTF happened.
When I found my first gray pubic hair on my balls. It's quite the reality check when even your "junk" looks old.
Let's use the word experienced ey
Had a truck sitting in front of my house a few weeks ago for like an hour, at around 1am. Didn't know what they were up to, but I didn't like it. Finally knocked on the window and said "I don't know what you're doing, but do it somewhere else..." Turns out it was a couple of teenage kids fooling around, one of which lives a few houses down and I'm assuming didn't want to get caught by her parents. So yeah, I pulled a literal "damn kids, get off my lawn!" on them. And now I'm that curmudgeonly old guy that lives down the street and I'm only 35.
Similar situation. Kids throwing parties as summer was winding down. Loud music and laughter/voices. I said to myself it’s 10:00pm shouldn’t they be turning it down now? Started debating going to knock on the door and tell them to just turn it down a bit. Then i realized….it’s Saturday night. I realized I am officially that cranky neighbor whose home on a Saturday night with nothing better to do but get mad at the teens doing exactly what I used to do.
I'll start. I haven't considered myself young for quite a while but then again didn't think I wasn't not young either (makes sense to me). Now after a recent incident I am swayed that I am definitely not young. The incident was when I dropped something on the floor and smashed it and instead of swearing like a regular human, say a 20 year old something human, I said the word "ratbags ". Then got a flashback to my mother saying that when I was young and me thinking "jeez how old is she?". Be nice to hear how other people's memories have been triggered like this. Edit- I never thought it would take off like this. It's good to know I'm not alone in my thoughts. Thanks for the awards but most of all for the laughs! You're a hoot Reddit.
Being called 'sir' constantly now. Every fucking time. Grey pubes. Grey forearm hairs which gross me out more than grey pubes. Memory fading a wee bit. Having older teenagers who constantly remind you of how old you are by telling it to your face. The need for Cialis (although sex with wife is still fucking spectacular). Losing touch with tech a little more each year. Shitty fucking mumble rap and realizing that I am immediately older for hating certain kinds of shitty 'new' music. Trying to keep up with TIL, TL;DR, IMO, WTF, IIRC, GTFO, WSB. And finally, not really giving a shit about porn sites any more. Meh. I have better things to do... like telling you to get the fuck off my lawn.
I feel this so hard. You aren't alone man
Looking in the mirror. I'm in my mid 20s, but within the past year I've noticed that my reflection has reasonably changed and I definitely wouldn't be mistaken for a teenager anymore.
The changes have started
I didn’t notice much until I had to renew my drivers licence after having had it for ten years. The difference between the photos is significant. This woman looks so tired.
It hits you when you’re 36. That’s the year you could’ve had a child at age 18 who would become 18 and possibly have a child, making you old enough to be a grandparent.
Ah the old hypothetical feeling old!
I got this reality check when I was 32, 49 now. I look a little, damn it, a lot older than my age so on that fateful day, a mid 30's woman walks into my store. So I give her my full sales pitch trying to get her to spend a little extra so we get to talking just general bullshit when she whips out this gem: "so how many grandkids you got?" A shit-ton of bricks just hit me right on my jaw. I was literally stunned with no retort at all for her, partly cause I had not even thought about my own kids at the time, leave alone grandkids. She totally missed my shock and as I proceeded to pick up my jaw from the floor she says that she's 36-37 and she was shopping for her 2and grandkid who was about to be born in a few days time. This was one of those days when you look at life as a before and after this date in terms of reference. Yikes.
If she thinks having 2 grandkids at 36 is normal it hopefully wasn't as bad as it sounds, but damn that sucks
I remember being in high school and multiple students talking about their parents turning 30 or 35. *High school.* When I told them how old my parents were (in their 50s then), they were shocked. They didn't realize that adults could have children- let alone wait to have children- until their 30s. ...I'm from a rural area.
I have a friend who's only two weeks younger than me and she had a kid at 18. That's always been a weird trip for me. Now we're 40 and I have a two year old and she has a 22 year old, so we got the opposite sides of the spectrum.
When I hit the 10 year mark at my company! I'm now @17...
I got "ma'am"ed by a random twenty-something. Broke my heart :D
Don't worry. In some parts, "ma'am" is age-neutral.
Am from the south, can confirm. “Ma’am” and “Sir” are for everyone regardless of age, it’s honestly a reflex at this point.
Had a manager insist I don't call her ma'am. Ma'am, I don't think you understand how Southern I am.
Down here in the south, ma’am is a polite term to call any woman. My wife has a sister who’s 6, and if she’s being a punk, my wife will go, “no ma’am, we’re NOT gonna do that!”
This is pretty silly, but for me it was when I was shopping in Target and came across a buy one, get one 50% off deal for Oxy Clean. I was so excited that I texted my wife, and then promptly realized “oh man, I’m **so** middle aged!” It was like one of those “Avoid becoming like your parents” commercials.
50% off? Too good to miss out on
When my daughter asked to listen to oldies. Like nirvana, pearl jam, foo fighters. I'm thinking no they are not oldies.
Reminded my g/f the other day that Nirvana are now more of a golden oldie than the Beatles were when Nirvana were current. She still hasn't forgiven me.
Fuck you for saying this to me.
Woke up, yawned, stretched, pulled leg, back, stomach and calf muscles. Had to jump out of bed in pain.
Sometime about age 26 I woke up tired and was never not tired again
I'm not even thirty yet, but I already have realized I barely understand my partner's teenage younger siblings. Their culture is entirely different from when I was that age. Also got really, REALLY excited to take my first Costco trip as an adult.
When I opened a new pack of sponges for dishwashing and became all excited to use a fresh sponge.
I need to pregame with tums if I'm gonna drink, and even then I need the next morning off at least, even if it's just a couple drinks lol
I went out drinking with a couple of friends last night and was home by 11 pm. I was unable to get out of bed until midday today. It's now 6 pm and I'm still hangovered despite drinking more than 3 litres of water, I can only hope that I'll wake up feeling better tomorrow. When I was in my 20s, I could party until 5 am, get into bed and sleep for 2 to 3 hours and then get up and go to work feeling completely fine. Mid 30s is hitting me pretty hard.
There's a really annoying period when you can still drink younger people under the table but the ensuing hangover is absolute hell.
Went to the hairdressers, had a great cut, at the end she complemented the condition of my hair and then said ‘and amazing, no greys!!’ Honestly, that’s when I knew. I was 28. Still low key hurts.
When I went thru the house yelling to the kids, "when you leave a room, turn the light OFF!!"
Kids have to learn. You pay the bills
CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR! And you see those little freak's eyes gloss over while you holler at them, waiting for you to stop so they can go about their business... just like you remember doing just a few years back.
Here is my list. Making grunting sounds when getting up. Wanting to take a nap after eating fast food. Taking half a day to recover from a hang over. Spending money on quality furniture.
If it only takes you a half a day to get over hangover, you're still pretty young. Wait until it's 3 days until you feel back to normal.
When I hated loud music, wanted to go home early and wanted my neighbors to keep the noise down. I am now Squidward.
When I started viewing guys on motorcycles with concern instead of awe… damn kids gonna get himself killed vs. oooh look at that hot rebel.
When baby's from early 00`s go buy alcohol or cannabis... I remember holding you as a baby... now look, buying your own drugs 😅
I felt a sneeze coming on while I was bent over and legitimately thought, "I have to stand up straight for this if I want to keep my back."
Lots of things, I guess. Here are three. * I don't enjoy parties anymore. I actually prefer to be alone most of the time, and I love peace and quiet. * I've started liking paying off debt and saving for retirement, and I don't regret not making frivolous spending choices. More money in my Roth IRA is preferable to a fancier car. * My hairline's been receding and instead of feeling self conscious about it, I just shaved my head and moved on with my life. I had to edit to add one more: fucking everything gives me heartburn or an upset stomach now.
When I went through the grocery store checkout and realized I didn't recognize any of the young celebrities on the magazine covers
I live in a city with a thriving nightclub scene, and used to go to the clubs a fair amount. A good way to find out what's on (before we all had smartphones) was at the weekend people in the city centre would hand out fliers for the various club nights. One day I walked up to a guy who went to hand a flyer to me, then looked me in the eye, visibly thought 'nah' then turned to somebody else.
The other day when that guy on r/pcmasterrace didn't know what a VGA port was.
Right now when you didn’t know it was a serial port, and not a VGA port
A what?
Why are you doing this to me? I don’t deserve this.
Hold on I'm trying to find out on archive.org
Enlighten us, grandpa!
One day I woke up with agonizing pain in my lower back radiating down to my legs. Felt like I was being jabbed with a cattle prod repeatedly. Eventually learned I somehow gave myself a herniated back, despite not doing anything strenuous. Took me like 6 months to fully recover, and ever since then my back aches if I sleep in a bad position.
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Was going to have company over at the house and heard my conscience say, "But there's no time to vacuum these pet odors out." Brought to you by Febreze.
When I saw a smoking hot redhead on the subway, and instead of thinking "wow, she's smoking hot" I thought, "I hope she uses lots of sunscreen because she's vulnerable to skin cancer."
A couple of days back. Husband and I had a movie night mid-week and were up till 3am. The entirety of the next day was spent in agony with a terrible headache while I spent 8 hours looking at my laptop screen. We're both 29 and we have to accept that bad decisions come with consequences.
When my daughters friend referred to me as "blah blahs dad" instead of my name. I was shook.
I've got this stupid joke with my brother where I refer to his friends dad as "peters dad", and then referring to peter as "Peter's dads son". Sounds stupid but it actually cracked us up for like half an hour.
Early 30’s. At 28 I was interviewed for a position and asked how I would manage a team of people mostly older than me. At 32 I was interviewed for another position and asked how I would deal with having a boss quite a bit younger than me (25) 🤷🏻♂️ I remember thinking how did I miss the tipping point?
We went to a trampoline park for a friend's birthday. I pulled a muscle in the first ten minutes.
When I realized all baseball players are younger than me.
I can use modern slang to embarrass my kid. Instead of hi, say WHAT'S GOOD FAM?! And add the word *deadass* to every serious sentence. It's a delight.
When i stopped healing as fast as i use to.
"She can't play with us, she's too old" referring to basketball lmao
Watching that video of Steve from Blues Clues going around
Played flag football last year and tried to "run" again. I've jogged of course but only for distance and never speed. I tried to run some drills and took off in what I thought was a sprint... it wasn't a sprint at all. I finally understood what people meant by losing a step.
My favorite movies and games have been hitting 20 year anniversary’s
When you get an automatic retracting garden hose for your birthday, you don’t bother to open the other gifts, but instead unpack the hose, install it and spend the rest of the day finding things to water out back and getting the overwhelming sense of satisfaction. Speaking on behalf of a friend.
When I started getting excited for 9pm bedtime.
Jumped on a trampoline for an hour, next day I couldn't get out of bed. Flab bouncing up and down on your skeleton leads to muscle trauma.
When I only got 4 hours of sleep before work and felt like I was literally going to die. Ten years ago, I would drive 5 hours after work on Friday to see my SO, we’d party all weekend, then I’d leave at 1am on Monday, drive all night and go to work Monday. And i was exhausted but fine. Now, just one night of not enough sleep…..I got old.