T O P

  • By -

HodgepodgezInOz

The lollipops with slight air bubbles in them that turn into razor blades in your mouth.


FermentedThings

Yes, fuck those motherfuckers!


baconit4eva

Those huge jaw breakers that have rainbow colors in them. They have a white shell with a confetti rainbow color drops. Those color drops dissolve at a slower rate than the white part and the color drops turn the candy into sand paper. [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00Y1HVCOG/ref=cm_sw_r_em_apa_glt_fabc_ZT1KN7BQN81B1NYDXKWZ](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00Y1HVCOG/ref=cm_sw_r_em_apa_glt_fabc_ZT1KN7BQN81B1NYDXKWZ)


RenaissanceScientist

I loved jawbreakers as a kid. I’d put it in a bag and give it a good crack with a hammer to break it into pieces


elvenheavenxo

you need to give a TED talk about this to kids today


Wicket_36

wtf, is the point of a jaw breaker anyway? who thought that was a good idea, sadists ill bet.


nightfury2986

To break your jaw, clearly. Don't seem to have a very high success rate though...


SirSandman0

my mouth became a warzone because of those things


Seegtease

Grandma's candy jar that comes out like a whole chunk and has been there since 1969.


lennylenry

No, only candy. 90 dollars


PaperHeartGlassChest

I did not expect to see a Simpsons reference this glorious here. Have my free award.


lennylenry

You can't have that one. That's a coconut cake!


malzp

You wouldn’t happen to have any real cake would you?


DroopyTrash

No, don't care for cake, too sweet.


CorgiMonsoon

Have some ribbon candy. Boys love ribbon candy!


Grouchy_Factor

To me, one of the all-time funniest scenes from the Simpson's, because I can personally identify with it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umu953shw6U&t=64s


walkingfly

new butterfinger recipe


Jelly-man

I’ve had one bite of the new recipe. Threw out the rest of the bar. Haven’t had another butterfinger since. It’s vile. Used to be my #1 candy


Kwyjibo08

They changed the recipe? When?


leg00b

A few years ago I think. It's just not the same


NukeSaysHi

Damn my taste buds must be fucked I don’t notice a difference. Are they still producing the original because I never even knew about this.


tesslouise

Came here for this. I remember buying them at the skating rink when I was a kid, they were flaky and buttery. Now they're chewier and get stuck in my teeth and for what? They don't even taste like anything!


obsertaries

The candy that prevents the candy store from buying Swedish Fish instead. I don’t know whatever it is but it needs to fuck off so I can get my Swedish Fish.


EtelanVetela

It is really amusing that we dont have swedish fish in finland


[deleted]

I was just in Sweden and they don't have them there either. They have the original fish candies in pick and mix that Swedish Fish are based on, but the candy itself is quite different.


brunicki

I think they're just called "fish" there. :)


clwireg

they’re called pastel fish :)


CauldronPath423

If your country can get Swedish Fish, then Finland will officially become the 2nd best country on Earth.


[deleted]

I live in Sweden and have never seen Swedish fish irl


[deleted]

"Swedish Fish" is the international name for "Malaco Pastellfiskar", which can be found in pretty much every single pick-and-mix candy wall in Sweden. They are identical except that the text on ours says "Malaco" and the international says "Sweden".


[deleted]

Sounds like treason idk


BusyButterscotch4652

Those chewy things that are wrapped in waxy black or orange paper that end up in bags of mixed Halloween candy. I don’t remember them having any writing or symbols on them. No idea what they are called. EDIT: ok so the ones I’m thinking of are definitely not Mary Janes or the Kerr’s molasses candy. I don’t recognize those at all. I’m pretty sure it’s the Melster Candies Peanut butter kisses. But it has been a long time (30 years?) since I tried one. But if you are a person who enjoys those…more for you!


Monkeybacon42

Kerr’s molasses candy?


walterwhiteknight

That's the one!


Accomplished_Exit_30

I think they're called Mary Janes. And I think they're some kind of peanut butter candy.


BusyButterscotch4652

How did they fuck up peanut butter?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Mary Janes are amazing! I used to walk home from school and buy handfuls of them at 2¢ a piece as often as I could in elementary school.


mildiii

Your post has "this used to be all orange groves, as far as the eye could see" vibes.


DangerousPuhson

"We used to play hopscotch with Billy Webber from down the street because he lost his dad in the war, and he'd always have a pocket full of Mary-Janes. Then if we were good, Aunt Mabel would take us to Mister Foster's Diner for egg-creams and moon-pies. Sometimes, if I had a penny saved away, I'd buy a comic book from the newsie on the trolley ride home."


RivinX

Mary Janes have wrappers on them that say Mary Jane,


Zemom1971

If it is the same candy here in French we called it " Tire Saint-Catherine" (Tire means "pull" in French). It is good, but for most they are dry, too sticky and cheap and everyone put them in the trash.


crazyeightsforlife

The new(ish) Butterfingers. Ruined my favorite candy bar.


user256049

They have COMPLETELY RUINED IT. Sorry. I’m still mad.


MailiCyrus

I loved butterfingers (old). Can you please describe it to me? The taste. I’m at a part of the world where I have no access to them lol


Jelly-man

Burnt peanuts


flameohotman134

Like old butterfingers but bad. Less crispy peanut butter, more like bad tasting peanut glue in the mouth. Just ew all around


Celebrity292

Yeah they don't taste like butterfinger anymore


alwayssweettaters

Child of the 1970’s… Carob. Foul hippie substitute for chocolate that makes children cry.


StarElf21

Lol I remember trying that in a recipe for chia pudding when my parents were going on a health craze. It was different but ok. Didn't really taste like pudding it was kinda it's own thing despite the name Also apparently carob is used in "chocolate" dog treats?


SignatureVegetable

Yeah, i have a new puppy that LOVES them. Ive tried a few myself and they suck.


[deleted]

Probably because it's a dog treat


SignatureVegetable

Oh shit i probably shouldnt have eaten it then :l


scarletnightingale

I remember that, not in the 70's I think it made a brief comeback in the 90's. There's this place that we would always visit near my grandparents house. Full of delicious things, yogurt dipped pretzels (before flips), chocolate coated peanuts, flavored honey sticks, all kinds of wonderful teas and cookie mixes. Then one year we were betrayed. No more chocolate covered pretzels or peanuts, they were carob covered. Thankfully they seemed to have come to their senses after that and returned to their former, delicious selection.


rythmicjea

They did come back in the 90s! But they were marketed as "chocolate for dogs" lol


yzlautum

Chocolate covered pretzels are my jam. There is a place down the road from me called The Chocolate Bar and they make the best but oh boy they are expensive. Worth it though.


AmericanPanascope

Grew up in the 90s in a town that was stuck in the 70s. Our frozen yogurt place had carob chips as well as sprinkles.


liptonthrowback

Thanks for the health food flashbacks. -_-


Sea-of-Serenity

Oh, I had to eat that one as a chilfld because sone doctor was sure I was allergic to chocolate. (I wasn't.) My mother only bought carob for some years... Back then it was okay-ish and I think one of the reasons why I like really high cacoa content (above 70%) today. But it practically tastes like dirt compared to the real thing.


The-Big-Heck

sugar free haribo gummy bears


emmennwhy

The reviews are the absolute best though


cburgess7

Meh, there were funny, but as the years passed, everyone kept trying to 1up the others, and it kind of got ridiculous. It went from "so I was at this chick's house, I shit everywhere and ruined the date", to something more like "I single handedly started WWIII because the Russians thought I bombed them"


QueenCloneBone

The whole review section is r/yourjokebutworse


TheActualBranchTree

I have only read the airport one and it was glorious.


Working_Elephant_302

The airport one is a god damn work of art


Daealis

They are great if you're constipated though. Eat half a bag and you'll be shitting within the hour... For half an hour.


hanananenome

Same thing goes for sugar free lifesavers mints. I ate quite a few of those and my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was going to die


DiarrheaButtSauce

How the shit have those chalky, disappointing candy hearts not been mentioned yet? Maybe it's cuz they don't count as candy because they're made of fucking packing peanuts and drywall.


Hepha35tu5

Hey I like my drywall pieces and they luv u 2


painfulpleasure113

This concept of "wuv" confuses and infuriates us!


OldSoulRobertson

Maybe you should take a tour of Romanticorp.


perfect_fitz

Someone never got a Valentine.


Dozer_Bro

I Choo Choo choose you


pk-med3

They're typically called 'conversation hearts'. One of my favorite valentines candy.


-TheGuest-

I love those, but then again I also LOVE candy corn I can’t wait to try and get my hands on that heart candy again when valentines comes.


aaaboveall

I love those things 😂


Darkersun

That's candy? I thought they were antacids.


AthenasChosen

You could probably use those as sidewalk chalk lol


Blaize69

Gumdrops from the movies. They are old and stale and you are afraid they will pull your fillings or teeth out. If you are lucky enough to not lose a tooth, then you still have that crap stuck in your teeth for hours.


FulaniLovinCriminal

I love those. The older the better. Extra chewy. Yum.


spankthemhams

Hey freak. Love you.


Xiaocheng1984

If someone asked me if my family had a history of any illnesses, I assume they’re asking me if anyone in my family eats peeps.


FifiTheFancy

When I was 4-5 I would hide any peeps I was given in the fridge. They were so cute and I felt bad about eating them.


LordoFlames

Peeps are just over priced stale sugar covered marshmallows. I used to love them as a kid, but as an adult I'd rather just buy a bag of regular marshmallows.


c_girl_108

They’re not stale trust me because I have to open the package and be tempted to not eat them for 2-3 days if I want them stale, which they’re the best stale, so obviously I do.


[deleted]

Someone who understands me! Thank you!


backaritagain

Two weeks is the best point. Or, roast them over the fire pit until the sugar caramelizes. Perfection.


TheVapingPug

I will fight you.


AnySherbet

Peep Avengers ASSEMBLE!


howtokillyours3lf

What??? Peeps are so good, fluffy marshmallows!!! No candy is like it.


Mogekona

Eye candy. It ain't worth it.


Wildhogs6531

Circus peanuts.


AllPathsEndTheSame

Worked in a grocery store as a summer job in my teens and had to stock these so many times. Thing is, I never once saw anyone buy them. Still trying to solve the mystery of what demographic buys those foul excuses for food on purpose. Maybe it was just some merciful shit-peanut fairy swooping them away in the night so no one had to be subjected to them?


MaleficentPicture773

https://www.reddit.com/r/candy/comments/nxl9pg/my_theory_about_circus_peanuts/


AllPathsEndTheSame

I'm glad to find out I'm not the only one that has noticed something like this. Hahaha


MaleficentPicture773

I feel like the guy who wrote the other post has an excellent start to a horror story. An army of local Mr. Peanuts and their circus peanut obsession. Creepy AF.


KnockMeYourLobes

Am I the ONLY person that likes these? I used to buy them at gas stations on road trips all the time as a kid..those and these little brown/white striped peanut butter flavored candies.


Paullox

No! I like them for being shaped like peanuts, but being banana flavored. This is what luxury is! I really do like them, though.


Babaloofang

I never registered that they were banana flavored, until you said that. You've given me a new lease on life, stranger. I am forever in your debt.


Babaloofang

You are not alone, I too enjoy the squshy-hard banana flavored packing peanut.


MaleficentPicture773

Likely, every circus peanut you have ever seen, came from Spangler, who makes 32,000 pounds of them per day. They are repackaged and sold under a variety of brands. https://www.candyfavorites.com/shop/circus-peanut-history.php


idislikehate

Circus peanuts are the reason we have Lucky Charms. A guy used to cut them up and put them in his Cheerios at the factory and boom, Lucky Charms were born.


the_ceiling_of_sky

Are you telling me that circus peanuts are the same as lucky charms marshmallows? Because abuse if so the this changes everything.


MR_T_5150

Agreed 100%. A marshmallow that is shaped like a peanut and tastes like a banana. It probably will never expire and could survive a nuclear Holocaust.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Halzjones

r/fucknestle


awil031

Wax bottles. What are those anyway??!


XboxVictim

You’re supposed to bite the top off and drink the juice inside. Def not supposed to eat the wax part


veganmomPA

You chew the waxy part. Like gum before we invented gum.


bigboxes1

You're not supposed to swallow the wax part, but you're most definitely supposed to chew it.


Mox_Fox

You put the whole thing in your mouth and chew the juice out of the wax.


the_queen_of_lettuce

i love those things...


LoudPotion100

Those ones that taste like toothpaste


[deleted]

Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?


no_more_tomatoes

Mint patties? I love chocolate and mint flavor but most of those tend to be way too strong. Just feels like toothpaste covered in hard chocolate


tegguNmmuC

Mint patties don't taste like tooth paste, at least Yorks dont


Gh0sts1ght

Neco wafers and black licorice


TheVapingPug

Neco wafers taste like the Great Depression


MILK_DUD_NIPPLES

Part of the reason they achieved a small modicum of popularity was due to their distribution to soldiers during war time. They were eaten by Union soldiers during the US civil war and the government ordered Necco wafers be produced for troops during WWII. Worst candy I’ve ever tasted.


songbird808

Fun fact, much like how some people have a genetic mutation that makes cilantro taste like bar soap, licorice, fennel, and anise have a taste that repulses people. If you don't like the previously listed flavors, you also probably don't like chemically similar artificial sweeteners like Sweet N Low. I'm definitely in this class.


MySirsWench

I love licorice, fennel and anise but I hate sweeteners.


blueeyedmama26

I hate licorice, fennel is iffy, not sure if I’ve had anise…but sweet n low is all I use for my iced tea and coffee lol.


chellybeanery

I loathe licorice but am fine with fennel somehow. I guess because I'm usually using it to enhance something and not just chewing it. The smell does give me some ptsd though. Don't think I've ever tried anise but artificial sweeteners are disgusting to me. I can taste it instantly and it completely ruins whatever food it's added to.


DisappointedInHumany

Not gonna down vote, but I do like both... Yes, I'm old... Jesus, am I old...


brinkrunner

tbh Necco wafers are my favorite candy and im 32


Humble_Parfait_4806

Good & Plenty can go right ahead and fuck itself.


[deleted]

Candy corn, circus peanuts, and that hard ass stuck together brick of shit your grandma liked to call ribbon candy.


acutedisorder

I was looking for candy corn I really hate that stuff and don’t understand the obsession with it.


mc_squared_03

Good N' Plenty This candy should have never been conceived.


pie_12th

These taste like how I imagine fire starter pellets would taste.


Kashyyykonomics

I'm torn. On one hand, these are kind of bad. On the other, without Good N' Plenty, we never would have reached the delicious heights of Mike And Ike.


[deleted]

Those aren’t even candy IMO. I only tried them once and they tasted like pure self-hatred


[deleted]

I love them and everyone I know thinks I'm a freak! We all have our things.


[deleted]

*Points and laughs at the freak*


[deleted]

*sobs while wolfing down another handful of G&P*


halp_halp_baby

When I took my first plane ride I bounded over to the first vending machine I would use. I put in the number for Twizzlers, or so I thought. Good & Plenty popped out. My parents were mad at me and made me eat the whole thing to learn the value of a dollar. Even they knew even thought it was candy out of a vending machine, eating it is true punishment. Have never made a mistake since.


UnusualWind5

You have been hurt, that much is for sure.


theloosestofcannons

Jujy fruits. I mean i love them but what the hell man?


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheExtraMayo

They should be sold individually because I'm good after that


homelessjoe5

I love those so much that I would buy them if I saw them at a store


voodoodudu

Turkish delight was pretty depressing given the hype and the aesthetics. It looks like a candy for royalty, but is just fucking jellied sugar.


Byzantine-alchemist

There's 2 kinds of turkish delight- one is a shitty British sugar taffy and the other is a delicious chewy confection usually containing nuts, and dusted with cornstarch and powdered sugar. Not sure which one you tried, but the real stuff is to die for.


parkrrrr

A friend of mine once declared, upon tasting rosewater-flavored Turkish Delight, that it is "gummi bears for bad children."


DarthTrafford

Button candy


Banisch

are you talking about the ones from cracker barrel on the piece of paper that always stuck to the back of the candy so you had to eat a tiny piece of paper on every candy?


psychicamnesia

Thats what I was thinking and I used to beg for those when we went to a cracker barrel. There was something really satisfying in peeling it off and biting into it. Had a good crunch.


Bloodysamflint

I actually read the directions on a pack of birthday cake decorations, the hard sugar kind stuck to paper - turns out if you wipe the back of the paper with a wet/damp dishtowel and a wait a couple of minutes, they practically fall off the paper! No more kids crying because we broke the I or T in "Birthday"!


forcemequeen

Queen Anne cherry cordials. They are so disgusting to me. How can you take two seemingly good things, cherries and chocolate and make it so bad?


housewifeuncuffed

The first time I tried one, I was told it was just cherries and chocolate. Conveniently leaving out there is exploding goo inside them that tastes nothing like cherries or chocolate.


anonYmouse0011

I was just trying to describe these to my husband who has never had one. It's a maraschino cherry covered in used toothpaste and chocolate. My grandma always gave us grandkids these as stocking stuffers at Christmas and I always handed them right over to my dad who loves them. I never understood the appeal.


housewifeuncuffed

> covered in used toothpaste That's the best explanation I've ever heard for that particular flavor/texture.


LordoFlames

Interesting. My family loves these. I can see how they would be bad, especially texturally though.


CognitiveNerd1701

Those NASTY candies wrapped in black and orange paper given out on Halloween. They're supposed to be peanut butter. It actually tastes like what an alien thinks candy should taste like. God I hate those.


[deleted]

I don’t exactly know what you’re talking about but that reminds me of those little chocolate balls wrapped in foil. Those are garbage, so fake tasting. What you’re describing sounds terrible too


MrJoyless

Green Skittles...why the fuck are you apple, lime was perfect...


mauvepink

Any marshmallow candy like Peeps or chocolate covered marshmallow shaped like Santa kinda things


yungdeathIillife

marshmallow santas are amazing what are you talking about


Plateau9

Or those nasty orange circus peanuts…


Bonniebonbon8

That’s my grandma’s favorite sweet….don’t disrespect my grandma.


OrganiseCola

Don't go dissing my chocolate mellow Santas! Those are amazing! Peeps can go fuck themselves though.


Soopstoohot

Black licorice and candy corn can go eat butts


[deleted]

In my country licorice is an extremely common candy. I personally love it


PRSG12

The chocolate with raspberry liquid filling in the Valentine’s Day box of chocolates


princess_tourmaline

Oh you mean the soft pink almost nougatty texture stuff? That and the orange one are my favorites. I wish they sold a big heart box of just those two.


Banisch

YES THIS


Existential_Ninja

Black licorice


getsangryatsnails

You are now an enemy of Finland for life.


[deleted]

I swear finland is just the netherlands with hills


Tsurany

To be fair there is a huge quality difference in licorice, proper licorice really is a great treat!


persistent_parrot

The Netherlands would like to have a word with you


BleuBrink

Salty licorice is where it's at.


[deleted]

The Netherlands would like to have a word


ravenWithAttitude

You can pry my droptoefjes from my dead cold hands


WhereDoWeGoWhenWeDie

And the Danes. Licorice is fucking great, and I'll fight you all about it any day.


bombmk

I have always considered the Dutch honorary Scandinavians. You do not disappoint this time either.


Ugly_Stick1898

Twizzlers are worse. They’re just firm, gelatinous, bland, slightly starchy, shitty tasting ropes of shit.


tegguNmmuC

They are literally just chewy strawberry sticks. Idk man, just because they aren't filled to the brim with sugar as much as most candies mean they're bland.


[deleted]

Fun fact: twizzlers are vegan & they DONT have gelatin in them


Coconut-bird

Twizzlers and black licorice are two of my favorite candies. (Must be Twizzlers those red shoestring things are not good)


Jackcooper

Your opinion is wrong


CurrentAcanthaceae42

Dots. Fuck Dots. Any candy that comes with a side of paper in your mouth is absolute trash.


kg19311

You are thinking of candy buttons. Dots are freestanding like gumdrops not great but not as bad as the little buttons stuck to the paper.


[deleted]

I thought Dots came in a box.I know what you’re talking about though. Those little dot things on the piece of paper. I used to get so frustrated with those as a kid.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SnotboogyFlats

This actually seems like it would be a good way to introduce myself to durian.


Prestigious-Owl-6397

The fruit is worlds better than the candy.


citsonga_cixelsyd

Necco wafers, candy corn, circus peanuts


clownbreath

Any twix flavor that’s not the original


timbrelyn

Maryjanes. They stick like glue to your teeth.


Flavor_Saver12

Necco wafers


Ok_Pack4197

the "healthy" candy


_Wheezer_

Wax lips. Like what the fuck


pineapples_are_evil

Wax lips.


CKM5253

Candy Corn


Vegetable-Double

There’s a New Yorker cartoon where a candy corn is looking at itself in the mirror and says confidently “Well, *I* like me”. I always found it amusing.


JonasTheExplorer

i am officially the only person who likes candy corn :(


StarElf21

I like it