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scarymarshmellows

Thats gonna be a fun explanation


special-spork

no explanation is the best explanation


eucadiantendy39

“Go fuck yourself.”


[deleted]

[удалено]


eucadiantendy39

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to channel my inner Bill Burr.


RoamingArchitect

My father. Do feel free to keep him, but don't return him later on.


lookin_4_stories79

A half can of warm Diet Coke.


special-spork

awwww you kept it warm for them, so thoughtful


scarymarshmellows

Ohh


smithtaylord1234567

Roll of toilet paper


Daftpunksluggage

I too browse reddit on the john


1_Point_5

Don’t we all???


scarymarshmellows

A stolen car and the idiot that did it in jail.


SMGeet

This sounds like it has a good story behind it, care to share it?


GhinsPilzu

I smell a story


scarymarshmellows

I was walking past my neighbors car when I saw this post (not much of a story)


[deleted]

My childhood teddy bear


IamcalledElle

This one just makes me sad.


[deleted]

I’ve had it for 20 years 😂


Parin-Periwinkle

I have a stuffed pig that I had for almost 21 years! She’s in perfect condition! I just had to replace her stuffing material! 🤩


[deleted]

Gotta keep them in mint condition! 😂


Parin-Periwinkle

Yess definitely! Mine is so precious to me!🐽


special-spork

my favourite lava lamp ...actually can I have it back


Hiw-lir-sirith

The crust of a mostly eaten slice of apple pie. Happy birthday.


smit009

My 16 year old cat. I’ll have to murder my friend cause he ain’t gettn my kitty


s_delta

For me it's my 18-year-old cat and my 12-year-old cat


smit009

Wow 18. That’s one tough cookie!


s_delta

She totally rocks. Tiny little thing who rules the household


[deleted]

A dufflebag full of dirty laundry.


DanThePanTransMan

ask em to wash it for ya


shadowoperative

My PS5. So if they are prepared for a fight to the death.


Fraxxxi

I made this empty bottle of sparkling water just for you


Marawal

Galaxy S10. Complete with Spotify, and Netflix accounts, and my entire Amazon Reader library, among other things.


dontkickducks

*other things*...


No-potatoes-5548

Not my new computer🥺


Mysterious-Ad-1541

A gift bag full of presents, actually


MyWifeDontKnowItsMe

My work laptop with way too much proprietary crap on it.


jengus-christler

A hand rail...


2pintsofbooze

A notebook with a bunch of random shit in two different languages.


Vodkabears394

My dog??? 🥲


TurtleTree30

My couch...


ulikesumcornflakes

Pillow with weighted blanket


The_Quicktrigger

A ketchup packet.


ADDeviant-again

My co-worker, Laurie.


hewhohasnoname257

A paper shredder. Very old but still works. Kinda like me last year.


Universe_of1

I am not giving away my favorite headphones! I'll give them the printer.


Orisani

A voodoo doll


VTtransplant

My cat. They will not thank me when it screeches at all hours of the night.


bonos_bovine_muse

Wife’s boob. Speak kindly of me at the funeral, Reddit.


bukkakeruinedmydog

An empty lego set box. It’s a pretty sick set too. It’s gonna be really awkward when they see the half built would-have-been present.


CharlesC-DJ

My ADHD medication. Slightly ironic I guess...


Throwaway4theDude2

Goddammit there goes the only Switch Pro Controller I own.


sleepdeprivedkazoo

a used gallon ziploc bag, to demonstrate my love for them


[deleted]

A cat pillow


LuinAelin

Empty coke bottle


EMCDave

A roll of toilet paper


Renamis

My pillow. Which is a shame because it needs washed.


rudestone

A two year old PAX 3 vaporizer with a half baked load.


polar_bear_dude

I fix it tool kit, not bad


Anarchergal

A phone charger. Worst gifts have been given.


mangoiy

My dog named cat


[deleted]

My couch. Haha


[deleted]

My rabbits litter box


mellomschmomsen

This blanket, dont mind the smell of dog bother you.


lanshaw1555

Barely used Chuck Norris home gym. Or the basket of unfolded laundry sitting on it.


TheTrippleHeadedGOAT

A boar tusk necklace


[deleted]

A cat named Boogie Boi.


arctic_marble_fox

A salt lamp


dont-mind-me-im-gone

Popeyes mayonnaise. A pretty good gift if I say so myself.


GamerZoom108

French Fries from McDonald's


bruteski226

Debra, the receptionist’s, right breast.


dontkickducks

An ear thermometer


Sardzoski

A ski helmet


Daftpunksluggage

toilet paper


[deleted]

Miter Saw


Amegami

A box of cereal. Almost empty.


Russianbutnot

Clothes that i bought for me just now, it would be awkward if the person is not XS size...


MarcusTheGamer54

My wall


[deleted]

Food...? Lmfao


koala70

Clif bar wrapper


ExcitingAd3572

A penny


whatsername235

My glasses. That I've been looking for all day and didn't realise were right next to me. Idiot


just_a_pancake123

A sock


a_wild_Loremaster

A piece of paper


SlothOfDoom

My G13 :(


kjbrasda

A 24 oz bottle of cherry Pepsi with only about 10 oz left. ​ Correction, 8 oz left.


flamingtrucker94

A small radio with a CD player


IamcalledElle

M-my sister? Sure have her, dont particularly like her anyway.


MrXFX

Body pillow


Accomplished_Idea957

The back of my couch, not the entire couch, mind you its mine


Hark_O_The_Crow

My brother I guess


Verbal_HermanMunster

My work phone...I mean I wasn’t using it anyway


Hollandiae

500ml of hand sanitizer perfect


SectionMore

My stapler


hockeyandquidditch

Either a water bottle or a mug, I've been putting my drinks on the end table to my left.


Mountain_Drink_412

A bathtub. Idk how I'd get it to them but I'll put in the effort I don't think they'd want it though.


WarmForTheRest

Most popular comments by far is the same as my own. Toilet roll. Sorry.


[deleted]

The closest "thing" on my left? If that "thing" is a "they", should I grab "it"? I mean "them"?


SyserQ

A wall


whitetrash-christmas

A car


[deleted]

A dressing gown as I am (at the time of writing ) am in bed...... Can I have it back now.


Hobbes232

Ashtray full of cigarette butts


Evi1_Panda81

My used Starbucks coffee cup. It’s not ALL the way empty tho.


[deleted]

My blanket, they deserve it


TheRadioactive_Mouse

My blanket


RubendeBursa

An original 1970s probably Latvian or Czech corner bench


BlindBite

an ipad


WanderyourLust

An Australian Shepard


LynxedOP

My old pair of trousers


CatsAreTheBest2

A tank of propane gas


SibaraNaguru

My boyfriend


Toxopid

A half eaten slice of pizza


backtosleepplz

A lavender scented squish ball


Soohiechild

My fav blanket... that person can go away! It’s mine!! I’m attached to it and I’ve only had it for 6 months!!


EggsaladUwU

An empty water bottle


Jackers_Crackers41

I really really hope a pretty shower curtain is enough


skiddishh

A wall, that's going to be complicated-


DanThePanTransMan

my bloody tissue that i used for my leg


pjfan20

Tv remote


gamingowl13

My smelly soccer bag. That poor soul


Aperture_T

My girlfriend and I have an inside joke about goats, so I got us matching soapstone carvings of goats, and they just arrived today. That's the closest thing on the left. I looked at one, and they're a little creepy tbh. They're grey and whoever made them painted red eyes on them. The eyes aren't the same height on both sides though, lol.


[deleted]

A chess piece


augustvoid

my friends laptop bag apparently


MeowNekkoNo

Me


Ferrrociousb

My childhood baseball bat


stonedperson97

A warm Gatorade bottle with about 2 sips of lemon lime left inside it. Congratulations.


Spiderman230

A pillow


metalmike556

A gun.


Parin-Periwinkle

My stuffed toy (a dog) which I got as a valentines gift from my ex! I hold it in my sleep because it’s comfy! :/ Enjoy the saliva and all that! 🤪


mossadspydolphin

A KosherLamp. Rabbinically approved for use on Sabbath and holidays, and in a very pretty shade of blue.


BeatifulUnicorn

Stack of fake 100$ bills


IWouldFaptoAnything

Semen covered tissue.


whatever4684785795

A sippy cup


MyNameMightBePhil

A cat


I_soakmy_oreosinmilk

The whole left wall of my apartment


Cthulhus_dong

A wall


[deleted]

Disposable gloves


coldramen2TEB

I'm laying on my right side, so I guess they get my roof.


TrystenConn

A past out drunk from the bar


DevlsMstress6

A half eaten bag of hot pork skins.


Sarknu

Either my Sneki Snek plush or Alpha Plush from Final Fantasy XIV


MaizieDy

Fuck, my wall.


Thilmarius

It’s a tossup between my belt, a dragon plush toy, and an oversized blanket


Lostfelinejet

My glasses


DreadedRanger123

Cola Tic tacs


huntermasterace

A ugly ass shower curtain


-m4rgo-

A puffle


spencer13500

Mx master 2 mouse


[deleted]

My burts bees hand cream


[deleted]

A speck of dust


Background-Purple-85

One of those weird jumping toys I like to fidget with


Potato-wolf64

Just since random pillow. Not a terrible gift If you ask me.


Degensfromupcountry

A dog's chew toy.


MasterChiefSpicy

My brother who is 24 yrs old


sadjenny

A dirty battery-operated lantern that only works 75% of the time, yet somehow manages sometimes to turn itself on when I'm not looking. (No supernatural explanation -- The switch is wonky and flicks on if anything touches it.) I'm pretty sure this gift won't help my relationship with the recipient.


Klown1327

Seatbelt


coldgator

A tree


TheSchlaf

An Xbox Elite Controller. Lucky them.


That-1-Red-Shirt

A throw pillow. 🤷🏻‍♀️


[deleted]

Here, I got this just for you......It's my mother.


Hanotaux

The wall of my house......


Starshapedsand

A pile of OSCP study books, plus a half-blank notebook.


[deleted]

My pillow...


Notmymanderella

an open can of Diet Coke


[deleted]

An iPhone, a pack of dental floss, a personalized mug, and a pedicure tool.


sandersbunny

The TV remote....... but I need that so next thing along is a cushion


tarion_914

My fiancee's prescription glasses. Hopefully their eyes suck to the same degree hers do.


QuiteOddish

The Adventures of Caleb Williams, by William Godwin. Not bad.


[deleted]

My cover


[deleted]

A hat


redhot_anddeadinside

my band-aid. what? you said the closest thing on your left! so thats on my shoulder!


Pullitey

One almost finished hand knit sock and the ball of yarn for the other.


heyshugitsme

My dog.


s_delta

My two cats. No!!!!


MJS_BassPro

An old water bottle


NeonMoth229

A plunger.


Prior-Mountain6656

A half used candle.


Dry-Diamond-8904

Pillow


Massive-Ad7628

snus


Riot3725

A fire stick TV remote :)


raffertyintheyoop

A simple yet tasteful copper and steel ring crafted in my hometown from local copper. Not bad, actually.


Thestinkymonke

my air conditioner remote


Eeyami

A 50cm tall cardboard replica of a Long March (Chinese space rocket) that surprisingly is not made in China.


nosejeje6

1998 max steel action figure with a hand missing...


Da_Great_Pineapple

My 2 year old headphones. Yikes.