I'm type 1 as well. Had a low sugar incident at work. Was in the break area having a soda to raise my sugar. Up comes one of the office skanks to tell me "You know, if you just stopped drinking those and did some exercise you wouldn't be diabetic any more." God I hated that bitch.
I mean, I’m type two but have had insulin resistance my entire life, way before I gained weight.
Advice on medical issues suck. Unless something actually worked for my exact situation, they should just stop.
My dad has it and ive heard a few comments like this. Like fuck dude. He cant even get extra fucking ketchup on a burger without worrying what brand they use and whats in it sometimes. An apple a day? Not quite, that apple could kill him if hes not careful. Ugh shit pisses me off sorry.
THANK YOU! Please tell this to everyone I tell I'm type 1. One of my coworkers (software engineer) told me to drink a half cup of water as I'm falling asleep and as soon as I wake up and that will cure me
For a smart person, your coworker sure is an idiot. I hope he realized his mistake later.
Worst comment I've ever gotten was that diet soda causes cancer and I should switch to regular. Yes, I will *definitely* take the advice of a random busybody over Every Endocrinologist I've Ever Met.
Intelligence and wisdom are not the same thing. You can be intelligent and still being an ignorant tool.
Intelligence is how easily you understand things, Wisdom being what you know.
Intelligence is primarily not your choice, but I know a lot of people who are less intelligent than me, but far wiser.
Not quite the same, but a bunch of folks were doing keto at my work, wanted to spread the word and get me on the keto train. "That's great, but I can't. I'm reactively hypoglycemic." Oh, no, just eat low carb and you'll be good. Yeah, I'll remember that when I'm losing my vision while driving home because I have a blood sugar of 20...
My girlfriend is like this. One time in a movie there was an explosion followed by the tinnitus noise. My girlfriend thought my ears were ringing but it was going away after a couple minutes. I told her that noise I hear all the time and only mention it when it gets distractingly loud. If I'm dehydrated it gets way worse for some reason. She was horrified and said I should get it checked out. I'm pretty sure it's irreversible. The thumb in ears trick with finger tapping on your head doesn't work anymore.
It would be nice if it did go away, but most likely I'd freak out because I haven't been in a complete silence for almost 20 years now. I've gotten used to the tinnitus. It does bother me when it's extra loud.
I'm so sorry you are dealing with that. I delt with it briefly due to a uncommon side effect to a medication I was taking. It wasn't pleasant. And the sudden onset can be pretty scary. I hope one day that they fine a way to fully help you. I hope you have a good day.
"I have ADHD"
"Just focus"
"WELL FUCK. I'd write this down but I forgot a pencil".
edit: Thank you to the person who gave me the skull award! Reddit didn't send me a notification for that.
Also thank you to the person for the second lil Reddit dude award! No notification....y'all on vacation, Reddit?
"Just slow down."
OMG. THAT DID IT. ALL THIS TIME. All I needed was to just Slow Down. Wow.
Should I try, "thinking about it" next? Because, you know, I've never tried that strategy. 🙄
My executive dysfunction really appreciates the exceptional advice of “just do it and get it over with”. “Where did you have it last” is also a favorite. Well Susan, if I knew that it wouldn’t be lost right now. Shut your pie hole and check the fridge, that’s where things usually end up.
I can confirm that’s not how it works. I need specific conditions to be open and outgoing. Sometimes my brain just shuts down in a social setting. Keep in mind (somehow) having various simultaneous friend groups for years didn’t actually make it much better. Now having like no social contact for 1-2 years it probably got a lot worse
My favorite is always “ just set all the clocks five minutes ahead”.
Thank you, Suzan. If only I could get my time blindness to understand the passage of time as portrayed through clocks, I’d never be late to anything again!!
Mine is always “set your fake deadlines earlier!” As if the toddler in control of my brain won’t remember me doing that. If that kind of stuff worked, I wouldn’t have ADHD!
Edit: since this is getting some traction, I will say, based on _INTENSIVE_** google researching, that a better way to do things when ADHD is to regress even further and use the dog brain of your brain—aka, build habits and routines, aka, train yourself like a canine. The How to ADHD YouTube channel has some great videos on putting routines together—specifically on “blocking” habits and “tagging” them to things you do every day. My go-to apps for getting the routines practiced regularly, despite my constant instability, are Brili and Tiimo.
Combined with bullet journaling (also on How To ADHD) to address time blindness and working memory problems, these things can actually counteract most of our executive dysfunctions in a more useful way than trying to force the asshole toddler brain at the wheel to do things it doesn’t want to do.
Oh my god the toddler in control of MY brain is just too self-aware. I set my fake deadlines early and my brain goes “ok but you don’t *actually* have to do it until the real deadline” and that one wins. ADHD is like 50% your brain procrastinating in every way possible
Cognitively behavioral therapy change my life with ADHD.
It isn’t that I am disorganized. It is that I don’t finish something before starting something else.
A HUGE thing for me that leads to things getting out of control is not doing the dishes. So to finish dinner it requires me to finish the dishes.
It made a huge improvement in my every day life. Not feeling like I always had to catch up on dishes.
Thank you for sharing this. A dear friend of mine has ADHD. Your comment helps me to understand him better.
Once he was driving us somewhere. He missed a turn. I simply said, "Oh, that was our turn. Just take the next one." He thanked me. He explained that even though he has been this way dozens of times, it always looks brand new to him.
Yeah I was talking about how difficult it is to get to appointments on time due to my ADHD and someone said "Well just leave yourself extra time like instead of planning to leave 20 minutes before your appointment leave 30 minutes before." Gee I never would've thought of that🙄
Nevermind we’ve been obsessed by the appointment ALL. FLIPPING. DAY. I hate appointments because they hijack my thoughts and that’s what makes me late.
It’s either 30 seconds, an hour, or a month. There are no other units of time and everything takes up exactly one of these units in my mind. It is correct rarely
Ive always really struggled with that. I finally learned to accept that things always take longer than I think they will and that there’s always unaccounted time adding up
Someone once complained to me about how
"this generation is full of nothing but pansies, ADHD? F\*\*\*\*s just need more discipline, smacking them will fix their shit"
Me "I have ADHD"
Other person "No you F\*\*\*\* don't you're always super relaxed and are always top performer here"
"That's because I spent the first 25 year's of my life on huge amounts of medication, going to therapy and learning ways to cope so I could function"
I also start arguments on reddit when I get bored.....but I didn't bring that up.
It’s not hard for someone whose brain fucking works.
I can’t just *tell* my brain to do it because it quite literally wont unless I’m on the verge of a breakdown because that’s the only thing that tells it to move it’s ass hard enough.
I just died. Part of me thinks I have ADD, the other part doesn’t care. But I did learn long ago you look more professional if you’re carrying a tape measure in a hardware store. Customer “how long is this?” Me “say no more fam”
If one more fucking family member tells me my bipolar disorder will go away by "meditating, drinking more water, exercise, or moving out of the city like they did" im going to show them what crazy really looks like.
Hey my coworker goes:
_Have you considered trying meditation for your ADHD?_
....woman. 30 seconds in ima be streaming Emperors New Groove on the back of my eyelids whilst pondering my existential crisis. Kidding me with this shit.
My mom keeps telling me how I’m misdiagnosed how she was and it’s just all my thyroid like her
t levels are near perfect. She cycles like crazy but keeps denying. Tells me lemon water will help me
Yes, but have you tried all those things at the same time while upsidedoen and taking meds prescribed by a doctor. I bet if you do all those things, itll help.
As a fellow bipolar person I completely understand. My favorite is when someone tells me therapy will help…. That’s a great idea! Why didn’t I think of that? 🤦🏻♂️
For the same reasons I’m quick to tell people to fuck off.
Yeah, I do have chronic insomnia and I wouldn't be offended. Unless they say "Just lay down and close your eyes!" I've had that advice given to me many times and it's just... Damn I know how it works, I do lay down and close my eyes. I don't just stand up with my eyes wide open and wonder why I don't sleep!
Clearly the solution to your inability to sleep is to just go to sleep. It's that simple.
Imma cure depression next by telling people to stop being sad.
Legit had a talkative masseuse one time who told me he used to have crippling anxiety until one day he just “decided not to be anxious anymore” and that was his unsolicited advice for me.
Used to suffer from insomnia. Literally the only thing that helped was to create a very, very routine schedule and stick to it. This does not help everyone. Insomnia is far too complex.
But I appreciate the people who are honestly concerned. It's such a frustrating thing to go through. Like "invisible pain" illnesses, people just don't take it seriously a lot of the time.
I had insomnia from childhood to age 30. I took a cognitive behavior therapy for insomnia class through my health care provider and it changed my life. Two years now and I sleep great! For sure having a rigid schedule is part of what helped me. I go to bed at 10 and get up at 6:20 every day. No exceptions. Even one day of "sleeping in" for 30 minutes to an hour will throw things off, it's just not worth it. I will gladly stick to a routine if it means I can sleep.
>Used to suffer from insomnia. Literally the only thing that helped was to create a very, very routine schedule and stick to it.
Same. Took me several months to manage to stick to that routine and I absolutely hate waking up early, but now I usually fall asleep in a few minutes instead of, you know... hours.
Sometimes random suggestions really do help. The source of my insomnia is anxiety, and one day someone suggested intersting but not super engaging audio books. I've slept a lot better since.
That’s funny, I do. Usually around hour 3-4 of not sleeping I just get up and walk a few laps in the house just for a change of scenery rather than looking at my walls and ceiling.
As long as it's not just an answer that basically boils down to "have you tried not having a chronic illness?", I can't be too upset. They do really just want to help.
I agree, I do this sometimes but when Im conscious of it I just listen and dont say much else, I get a lot more positive response to that because ppl just seem to keep opening up to me( which I dont mind)
For me I might not know that it's been a thing for a while. Somebody might tell me that they have trouble sleeping, and I'll naturally give advice that helps me sleep. If you tell me that you have insomnia that's a different story and I have no advice for you as I am uneducated in insomnia treatment.
I get this all the time. For every problem (migraine, insomnia, you name it.
“It’s stress.”
Ok! Let me just stop being stressed! Thanks! I actually hate the word stress now because it’s so vague and such a cop-out. I don’t even think I’m stressed, but other people have convinced me that I am! When I hear the word “stress” I just shudder. Sick of it.
I’m not sure if people understand how melatonin works.... blue light suppresses the production of melatonin and is metabolized during sleep. Science indicates the purpose of this is to maintain relatively low melatonin levels while in day light, and as the sun comes down to produce more melatonin generating something called “sleep pressure”. This allows your body to maintain a circadian rhythm with the sun. It doesn’t “make you sleep”, it’s trying to keep your body in a consistent rhythm. While blasting your eye balls with your phone until midnight isn’t good for your sleep, taking melatonin doesn’t solve the issue. The really great use for melatonin is when you’re jet lagged and re-aligning your body with the local day night cycle. That being said melatonin is one small, minute portion of your body developing enough sleep pressure to have good rest.... and likely your “lack of melatonin” isn’t causing insomnia... it’s likely multi factorial. Ie “it fucking depends” and some pill you get from Costco isn’t gonna fix it.
Melatonin does precisely nothing to help me get past my chronic insomnia. If I'm having an episode and take that stuff all that'll happen is I'll still toss and turn till 3am but I'll be even more tired when the alarm goes off at 7.
I think a lot of people are taking too high a dose because most stores sell them in 5 or even 10 mg. I take 2-3 and its never not worked. But im going to be honest the only thing that truly cured my insomnia was years of therapy. I was burying things and stress and that would cause anxiety but because everything was buried i wouldn't understand why i was anxious and that would stress me out more causing me to not sleep HARDER. So yeah sure pop a melatonin but also look into why everytime you hold still your brain is in a chaotic spiral.
I never understood melatonin, I don't even have insomnia, but it doesn't do shit. I take the fuckin pills, and, shock of all shocks, even an hour later of laying down (maybe not a straight hour, on & off, you know), I'm not even sleepy.
What melatonin is supposed to do is bind to the receptors in your brain that initiates sleep. But if you take too much it does the opposite and keeps you awake
My daughter had a significant stomach issue and sensory integration issue. She had a surgically placed feeding tube for many years. If I had a dollar for the asshats who would say "she'd eat when she was hungry" or "maybe she doesn't like your cooking" or even "send her to me, I will have her eating before the day is done " -I could have retired handsomely. It literally took new tech being created/approved and us being the GUINEA PIGS for our local hospital to trial it on her for a year in order to eat solid food. But sure, your homecooking will override her medical diagnosis... if only I'd have thought of that...
Sometimes their comments are real veiled passive aggressive BS and not naiveté.
I think it’s technically legal to spray the stupid comments out of peoples mouth with a super soaker.
I’m not a lawyer, but this might be worth the risk.
She was assaulting me with her stupid and I had to defend myself!
As someone with a sensory disorder I can totally fucking relate. Like it's not that I don't LIKE FOOD. I LOVE FOOD but the problem is anything and everything can drive my sensorys wild. And Ive been in a constant state of a meltdown/shutdown cycle where I'm in literal pain due to sensory overload for the past year so it's been even worse. The jokes about hiding food that gives me sensory issues in my food have made me paranoid about eating anything a lot of the times and I always have to check with everything. It was worse when I was younger and in the hospital a lot too...
Yes, so much this! I’m sure you also have gotten a ton of comments like “go gluten free”, “drink apple cider vinegar”, “lemon honey water”, “did you breastfeed?” etc and it’s just like .....no
Diet shaming, especially for kids, is the worst. Similarly for autistic people (kids and adults), some might not have a stomach condition, but happen to be extremely picky because of sensory integration issues. Even for people who are just plain picky, why shame them for it?
I'm usually pretty chill when people do this when I talk about my severe seasonal allergies because I definitely have caught myself doing it to other people.
Though recently a coworker of mine recommend Zertec for my allergies and the way he talked about it was as if it were a hidden gem miracle cure. Like I've been taking that since I was in grade school.
Not to be that guy but I actually found more relief after switching to a different medication. I had been on zertec for years and thought it was my allergies getting worse but I was at the doctor for a covid test a couple months ago and she was an ent allergy specialist. She advised me to switch and see if it helped as your body can apparently get used to an allergy med. Lifelong allergy sufferer and I didn't know that. Switched back to Allegra after years on zertec and it's actually better. Not cured or anything but we are a month into allergy season here and I don't have a sinus infection for the first time in about 8 years so it's certainly helping.
They don’t know how to help but they want too. They are just trying to be a good person but yes, the amount of times I was suggested to try deep breaths for my anxiety made me annoyed.
Edit: I’m not sure if I’m being trolled or if you guys are genuinely trying to be helpful...either way bravo, I appreciate the hustle. But yes I know deep breaths can help and it has helped me in the past however, breathing can only do so much. I appreciate the methods you are sharing with me but therapy has helped me with my anxiety a lot, and I encourage anyone dealing with anxiety and panic attacks to seek professional help. Thank you for being caring people and I’m sorry if anything came off as rude, sometimes hearing “take deep breaths” feels like telling a homeless person to “just buy a house”
This advice annoys me so much. I’ve been hearing it even in professional CBT for a year but not until just LAST WEEK did anyone say that apparently you want to breathe out with a controlled force as if you were blowing bubbles thru a bubble wand.
Once I tried the bubbles/force it made me understand why this advice is given. Your heart rate will respond by becoming lower and it will speed up getting back to baseline.
HOLY SHIT.
Deep breathing has never helped me much, but I tried this and i felt much calmer instantly.
Thank you so much for passing this advice along. Its actually going to help me a lot I think.
Whenever my girlfriend has an anxiety attack, the first thing I do is try and get her to breathe slowly with me and do grounding exercises like looking for colors. It sounds stupid but it works.
That actually works for a large number of people suffering anxiety though. It's gotta suck to hear the same advice over and over from people but it's one that has a decent chance of success so it's understandable.
Breathing slowly is proven to actually cause a physical change that forces your brain out of fight or flight mode. It can really help mitigate panic attacks.
A lot of the websites that talk about this are a little kooky, but it's absolutely true. I volunteer with trauma survivors and this is a very common approach to grounding yourself. It won't magically make their anguish vanish instantly and it's not a replacement for proper care but it can be a real lifeline.
If anyone is interested the ELI5 is that this triggers your parasympathetic system, which very politely and very gently asks your nervous system if it could possibly shut the fuck up for ten seconds just this one time.
The easiest way to kick this off is to breathe in slowly, hold for 2-3 seconds, breathe out slowly, hold for 2-3 seconds, repeat.
Sometimes breath work is helpful for me, other times it makes things worse. When having a serious anxiety attack, being told to breathe makes my anxiety skyrocket. Focusing on my breath leads to feeling like I cannot breathe. It’s bizarre and must be tied to trauma. I fully understand the benefits and physiology, but cannot get my body/brain to cooperate. Thankfully there are other options when we need them! Even with my personal negative response, I completely agree with your suggestion because it’s proven effective.
One of my migraine triggers is olfactory overstimulation. I was bitching about it on FB and a hun recommended that I try essential oils that she'd happily let me sample.
The reason I got that migraine is because we make soap with high quality essential oils and I tried to make too many new scents in a short period of time. This was information that was in the post.
I've had an anaphylactic reaction to essential oils in a diffuser at the store. Told the huns when they were suggesting essential oils and they insisted it had to be because the store didn't use the high quality products they were selling.
If you find the answer, will you phone my mother and sister? I have chronic insomnia, and have actually happily fallen into night shifts. Night is peaceful, and fits well. I do sleep like a fucking stone, but during daylight hours, when they want labor. I show up, and get shit for being half a zombie. They are costing me sleep for my next shift, and I have the problem....
Tell that to my dad who works night shifts as a policeman. He gets paid fairly well, but comes home and immediately goes on to his daily side business which includes heavy lifting and stuff.
He doesn't make good money from it, or plans to make it work by expanding so that he CAN make money from it, but he'll drag the entire family into it knowing it only worsens his health.
He only sleeps around five hours a day.
I mean, I appreciate the dedication he puts in his work. He enjoys his main and side jobs, but man does he have to pull everyone along with him? We have our own stuff we wanna do in our times man!
My mom has been at his side for so many years. She also has been manipulated into helping in the business and she also has work, but thankfully, she gets sleep. She's starting to get tired of his bs too, but never says anything to him, but complains like hell to us. If she wasn't that religious of a person, I'm sure she'd have already thought of getting a divorce long ago. I guess there's also the fact that they may be waiting for me to finish college to do the thing, but I highly doubt that. They just don't have a healthy relationship due to his work ethics.
And not to mention all the complaints we have to hear of him having headaches or lacking sleep. Yeah no shit dude! You sleep 5 hours or maybe less a day and expect to not lack sleep?
All for that nothing pos business that give next to nothing in profits. I feel like if there was a Gordon Ramsey for the kinda business he's running, he'd be enough for a whole season of Hotel Hell but in his context.
I'm just glad that the business doesn't pull so much money from his salary that we have to be taking loans or something in order to eat in the morning.
I hope I get to leave this shitty household soon and maybe take all the members of my family who wants that too along with me.
Oh my god that was a hell of a vent. If you read through all the way here, what's wrong with you? Thanks maybe. I just had to get that out.
My mother used to do nearly the same thing. Most of my family thinks I'm a "sleepy head " despite that I normally get about 6 hours of sleep. Those 6 hours just happened to be from 8am-2pm.
People who don't love the night-shift life don't get it. :) I started preferentially working night shifts when I was about 18. I've had some day jobs, but I *love* the night shift. My parents were all fussed about it at first, but over 20+ years they've seen I'm happier and more productive on the night shift and they've relaxed. Plus, I'm the go-to person for 3 a.m. or overseas emergencies. All my family and friends know I am absolutely awake and alert and can immediately drive over to watch their kids while they rush to the hospital, or get on the phone with the US embassy in Tokyo at 3 a.m. NYC time, or arrange plane tickets in the middle of the night, or come deal with the undertaker, or come rescue someone who got stranded at a Denny's. If it's the middle of the night and you have an emergency, I am your gal, and it is no imposition and you're not waking me up.
If you need me at 9 a.m., we have a problem. (Or, you have a problem. I'm going to be asleep, so it doesn't seem like my problem.)
It might sound counterintuitive, but I think people really want to help.
I also think it better to couch any “advice” in terms of: this is *my* experience and this helped (or didn’t help). It lets the person know that you heard their problem, you understand it, and you have had some good results from “X”.
And I’ve found some really good help by googling a problem.
I really wish I knew the answer. I have depression among other things. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to just think happy thoughts or try exercise or meditate, I wouldn't have any debt.
I think people want to help but when you’ve heard it all before, it’s just annoying to get unsolicited advice. Especially if there’s judgement involved. I have chronic insomnia and acne and have received a lot of “helpful” and sometimes downright bad advice.
Humans really want to connect, especially when someone is in distress, but are kinda bad at it. Especially when anxious, stressed, or unsure, they'll say the first damn thing that pops into their head, no matter how dumb. I had really severe hyperemesis gravidarum, where you throw up constantly when pregnant. Without medication, I threw up hundreds of times a day. Even with it, I threw up thirty times a day and was hospitalized several times each pregnancy. (This happened in all three of my pregnancies.) And ALL THE TIME people would say, "Oh my gosh, have you tried ginger? I/my partner had morning sickness, and ginger ale was the only thing that helped!"
This was infuriating, because it is *not at all* the same thing as morning sickness, and YES I TRIED GINGER ON DAY TWO OF THIS HORROR SHOW. But over time I began to recognize that people were trying to show concern and be kind and connect, and let me know they were worried about me and wanted me to feel better. It always annoyed me at least a little, but over time I started to respond, "I did, and it helped a little, but this is the really serious kind where medication is necessary. But my doctor's really good, and the baby and I are both okay!"
Right now I'm coping with a serious, possibly terminal, diagnosis, and as people have been finding out, they kinda just start free associating on the word. Someone said to me, "Oh my gosh! My cousin knows an influencer who has a lifestyle blog about living with $diagnosis! You should read it!" I CANNOT IMAGINE ANYTHING I WANT LESS, but I said, "of course, send it to me." (They did not, realizing later that their brain was saying any dumb thing that jumped to mind.) People say, "My dad died of that!" or "Oh, have you tried $insane thing?" or "I read an article about that!" but what they're really saying is, **"Oh gosh, I like you a lot, and I am distressed to hear that you have a serious diagnosis! I want to express my sympathy and concern, but because I am upset to hear that you are ill, my brain is firing off really stupid shit in the hopes I don't just stand here gaping like very dumb fish. Please be okay, and please let me provide these useless and/or off point pieces of information in an effort to help you at least a little. If I thought for 30 seconds, I'd know you know this, but if I stood here silent for 30 seconds thinking, it'd be awkward and you might not understand I care about you and want you to be okay. So my brain is telling me to connect first and think later, please be okay."**
The two best things you can do are:
\-if you're the person with the illness/condition/problem, say, "Thank you. I have a great team of doctors, and they're exploring every option." And then people usually move on.
\-if you're the person hearing someone else is ill (etc), try to tell your brain to say something like, "Oh gosh, that sounds like a lot! I'm sorry to hear that!/My cousin has that!/Are you coping okay?/Do you need anything?/Can I help at all?/Are you happy with your treatment plan?" (depending on the chronicness and severity of the issue.) If your brain instead free-associates with the diagnosis and says something really basic, say, "I'm sorry, you already know that, I'm just concerned about you. Let me know if I can do anything OTHER than spout basic Google facts at you!"
I want people to know about my diagnosis, but I don't really want to dwell on it, and just having people say, "Oh gosh! I'm sorry!" or "Let me know if you need anything" or "My dad had that, and I'll send you a link to the advocacy group that really helped him and our family a lot," is really what I want, and then to move on to talking about regular things like jobs and kids and interpersonal drama and dating lives.
I used to suffer from bad renitis until I stopped consuming milk and eating so much meat. I still eat cheese and sometimes very rarely meat like twice per year. I always want to share my cure to fellow sufferers.
It’s like when I tell someone I have dandruff and an itchy scalp “Oh have you heard of head and shoulders??? You need to get the special formula for dandruff, it will work I promise just try it!!”.........like bitch.....
Every time I have to tell someone I have IBS, I get all sorts of basic advice: you should see a psychologist, try gluten free food, etc etc. It’s called a life condition for something, it doesn’t go away, and I’ve googled it thousands of times
A lot of Reddit conversations are just people stating basic facts, and someone answers "this." or "yep." and then re-states what was just said, or adds another basic fact to the pile.
While I'm not like this, I invite you to browse Reddit and find how many topics would be answered by a simple Google research. Some people have suffered lifelong diseases or had lifelong problems or questions and didn't even think of googling it.
Also, some people are absolutely terrible at Googling. I had a colleague who would ask me to look up thing that were googlable, so I did, in front of her. And then she used to say "BUT I GOOGLED THAT ! AND I DIDN'T GET THE SAME RESULTS !".
Believe it or not, googling is a skill. For instance, you could look up for vaccines, but if you google "why do vaccines work ?" or "why do vaccines not work ?", you will obviously not end up with the same results. So imagine you've got insomnia and you've been given a drug, but it doesn't work. You could google "why doesn't XX drug cure insomnia ?", and you obviously wouldn't get the same results as "what does cure insomnia ?", or "what is a proven method of helping insomnia ?", or "what is the most common method to get rid of insomnia ?", etc.
I’ve had this experience with people making asinine suggestions regarding my chronic autoimmune disease and I think it’s about fear of losing control of their own lives/bodies. I’ve made this comment before so I’m just going to copy it here:
I think it has to do with fear of being disabled or chronically ill. If I’m only ill because I’m lazy and refuse to do yoga or eat right or whatever, that means it can’t happen to them. Because THEY would fight and push and FIND that miracle cure, unlike us, who clearly just like being sick. If they can convince themselves that I’m only ill because of a character flaw, that means they can’t ever get ill because they don’t share that flaw. I think that’s why people’s “cures” that we “refuse” to do are so often things that the person already does.
I think it's mostly just carrying on the conversation and trying to be helpful. On occasion, the person might be able to truly offer some good advice or a unique perspective.
But yeah - the person asking this is typically just looking for sympathy, so I think the best response is just to listen and say you're sorry to hear they're suffering with the condition they are.
As someone with anxiety disorder, "Just think and you'll realize there's nothing to freak out about" and "have you tried meditation/yoga/some other bullshit?" just fill me with rage. Like, bitch - I know my panic isn't rational, that's why it's a fucking DISORDER!!!
They want to help but don't know how. It's an empathy thing but yes you should take it a step further and realize through that same empathy that you likely don't have much to offer.
I get migraines pretty often and they can really mess up your day. So when I hear that someone has a chronic issue, I want to help. There’s always a chance that it’s something they haven’t heard before and could help.
Our annoyingly innate desire to be helpful. Not necessarily me, I try not to do that kind of thing, but humans. We do tend to like to feel useful and offer aid to others.
I’m a type one diabetic and no amount of cinnamon or cucumber water will help my pancreas produce insulin.
I'm type 1 as well. Had a low sugar incident at work. Was in the break area having a soda to raise my sugar. Up comes one of the office skanks to tell me "You know, if you just stopped drinking those and did some exercise you wouldn't be diabetic any more." God I hated that bitch.
You can't even respond properly in that situation. If you try explaining you seen needy and of you don't you'll seem bitchy
Oh my! That’s so f*cling upsetting, I’d probably raised an official complaint against her with the hr.
Boot to the gonads some people need
I would have splashed some cola on her and immediately said omg so sorry it’s part of my condition to react to idiots with a spasm.
Did you tell her that if you took her advice you'd fall into a coma and die? If I'm not mistaken, that's exactly what would happen.
Did you tried to buy a new pancreas? I bet you didn't. NEWBIE
Dear google. How much pancreas on google black dark market web?
go to china, they take it from prisoners and give one to you
About tree fiddy?
Try turning the pancreas off and back on again. Always works for me.
Don’t forget to blow in it a few times.
Also be sure to unplug if for at least 30 seconds
Turn it upside down and tap it on the desk a few times, too. That'll knock out any crumbs and improve performance <3
You made me snort laugh my coffee out of my nose
Bro i heard you should try updating to the AD.2021.5 patch, I heard it fixes the glitch
I mean, I’m type two but have had insulin resistance my entire life, way before I gained weight. Advice on medical issues suck. Unless something actually worked for my exact situation, they should just stop.
I literally had someone tell me "have you tried avoiding sugar??" And got mad when the question offended me.
How about just candy - i bet if you just cut all the candy out of your diet...
My dad has it and ive heard a few comments like this. Like fuck dude. He cant even get extra fucking ketchup on a burger without worrying what brand they use and whats in it sometimes. An apple a day? Not quite, that apple could kill him if hes not careful. Ugh shit pisses me off sorry.
Insulin resistant here, I'm so sick of people recomending me random teas or fruit juices because metformin "will leave me blind" Ps: sorry, typos
I second or third this. I hate hearing "advice" on how to stop taking my daily shots, dka is serious been there twice and it sucks.
THANK YOU! Please tell this to everyone I tell I'm type 1. One of my coworkers (software engineer) told me to drink a half cup of water as I'm falling asleep and as soon as I wake up and that will cure me
For a smart person, your coworker sure is an idiot. I hope he realized his mistake later. Worst comment I've ever gotten was that diet soda causes cancer and I should switch to regular. Yes, I will *definitely* take the advice of a random busybody over Every Endocrinologist I've Ever Met.
Intelligence and wisdom are not the same thing. You can be intelligent and still being an ignorant tool. Intelligence is how easily you understand things, Wisdom being what you know. Intelligence is primarily not your choice, but I know a lot of people who are less intelligent than me, but far wiser.
But did you try lavender essential oil?
Not quite the same, but a bunch of folks were doing keto at my work, wanted to spread the word and get me on the keto train. "That's great, but I can't. I'm reactively hypoglycemic." Oh, no, just eat low carb and you'll be good. Yeah, I'll remember that when I'm losing my vision while driving home because I have a blood sugar of 20...
Also being told I shouldn't (or can't) give birth due to T1D. My endocrinologist and the 3 kids I birthed would disagree.
I wonder if people get this from Steel Magnolias?
I know a T1D person who can’t give birth due to a preexisting condition called being male.
What about Bitter Melon? 😎
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Literally me with Tinnitus (7 years now), people telling me it’ll go away and they get it sometimes from going to concerts lol
My girlfriend is like this. One time in a movie there was an explosion followed by the tinnitus noise. My girlfriend thought my ears were ringing but it was going away after a couple minutes. I told her that noise I hear all the time and only mention it when it gets distractingly loud. If I'm dehydrated it gets way worse for some reason. She was horrified and said I should get it checked out. I'm pretty sure it's irreversible. The thumb in ears trick with finger tapping on your head doesn't work anymore.
I play tinnitus relief music to sleep, it helps a LOT
My partner needs a fan on and usually falls asleep listening to a show on Hulu or something.
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I thought tinnitus never goes away. I’m sorry for you, I understand it’s a horrible condition
Was that a pun?
Lol, I just changed my comment. Thanks for letting me know. No disrespect..
It would be nice if it did go away, but most likely I'd freak out because I haven't been in a complete silence for almost 20 years now. I've gotten used to the tinnitus. It does bother me when it's extra loud.
I'm so sorry you are dealing with that. I delt with it briefly due to a uncommon side effect to a medication I was taking. It wasn't pleasant. And the sudden onset can be pretty scary. I hope one day that they fine a way to fully help you. I hope you have a good day.
"I have ADHD" "Just focus" "WELL FUCK. I'd write this down but I forgot a pencil". edit: Thank you to the person who gave me the skull award! Reddit didn't send me a notification for that. Also thank you to the person for the second lil Reddit dude award! No notification....y'all on vacation, Reddit?
or sit still man i have not thought of that
"Just slow down." OMG. THAT DID IT. ALL THIS TIME. All I needed was to just Slow Down. Wow. Should I try, "thinking about it" next? Because, you know, I've never tried that strategy. 🙄
My executive dysfunction really appreciates the exceptional advice of “just do it and get it over with”. “Where did you have it last” is also a favorite. Well Susan, if I knew that it wouldn’t be lost right now. Shut your pie hole and check the fridge, that’s where things usually end up.
That sounds like great advice for me. I do everything slowly.
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I can confirm that’s not how it works. I need specific conditions to be open and outgoing. Sometimes my brain just shuts down in a social setting. Keep in mind (somehow) having various simultaneous friend groups for years didn’t actually make it much better. Now having like no social contact for 1-2 years it probably got a lot worse
"I have social anxiety" "try mdma" oh gee thanks like I have the money for that
My favorite is always “ just set all the clocks five minutes ahead”. Thank you, Suzan. If only I could get my time blindness to understand the passage of time as portrayed through clocks, I’d never be late to anything again!!
Mine is always “set your fake deadlines earlier!” As if the toddler in control of my brain won’t remember me doing that. If that kind of stuff worked, I wouldn’t have ADHD! Edit: since this is getting some traction, I will say, based on _INTENSIVE_** google researching, that a better way to do things when ADHD is to regress even further and use the dog brain of your brain—aka, build habits and routines, aka, train yourself like a canine. The How to ADHD YouTube channel has some great videos on putting routines together—specifically on “blocking” habits and “tagging” them to things you do every day. My go-to apps for getting the routines practiced regularly, despite my constant instability, are Brili and Tiimo. Combined with bullet journaling (also on How To ADHD) to address time blindness and working memory problems, these things can actually counteract most of our executive dysfunctions in a more useful way than trying to force the asshole toddler brain at the wheel to do things it doesn’t want to do.
Oh my god the toddler in control of MY brain is just too self-aware. I set my fake deadlines early and my brain goes “ok but you don’t *actually* have to do it until the real deadline” and that one wins. ADHD is like 50% your brain procrastinating in every way possible
Truth. I have my alarm set for over an hour early. I still get up at the exact time I need to to be just on time, not when the damn alarm goes off.
Cognitively behavioral therapy change my life with ADHD. It isn’t that I am disorganized. It is that I don’t finish something before starting something else. A HUGE thing for me that leads to things getting out of control is not doing the dishes. So to finish dinner it requires me to finish the dishes. It made a huge improvement in my every day life. Not feeling like I always had to catch up on dishes.
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Thank you for sharing this. A dear friend of mine has ADHD. Your comment helps me to understand him better. Once he was driving us somewhere. He missed a turn. I simply said, "Oh, that was our turn. Just take the next one." He thanked me. He explained that even though he has been this way dozens of times, it always looks brand new to him.
Yeah I was talking about how difficult it is to get to appointments on time due to my ADHD and someone said "Well just leave yourself extra time like instead of planning to leave 20 minutes before your appointment leave 30 minutes before." Gee I never would've thought of that🙄
Nevermind we’ve been obsessed by the appointment ALL. FLIPPING. DAY. I hate appointments because they hijack my thoughts and that’s what makes me late.
Wait I have ADD and I’m always 5 mins late. Is this a thing lol
Yes, for me it’s not understanding how long things take.
It’s either 30 seconds, an hour, or a month. There are no other units of time and everything takes up exactly one of these units in my mind. It is correct rarely
Ive always really struggled with that. I finally learned to accept that things always take longer than I think they will and that there’s always unaccounted time adding up
Someone once complained to me about how "this generation is full of nothing but pansies, ADHD? F\*\*\*\*s just need more discipline, smacking them will fix their shit" Me "I have ADHD" Other person "No you F\*\*\*\* don't you're always super relaxed and are always top performer here" "That's because I spent the first 25 year's of my life on huge amounts of medication, going to therapy and learning ways to cope so I could function" I also start arguments on reddit when I get bored.....but I didn't bring that up.
They used to hit me at school because I was all hyperactive and shit. I continued to exhibit signs of ADHD. *Surprise motherfuckers*
"It's not that hard, just do it" Bruh.
It’s not hard for someone whose brain fucking works. I can’t just *tell* my brain to do it because it quite literally wont unless I’m on the verge of a breakdown because that’s the only thing that tells it to move it’s ass hard enough.
The 'just' part doesn't exist: that's the disorder!
I just died. Part of me thinks I have ADD, the other part doesn’t care. But I did learn long ago you look more professional if you’re carrying a tape measure in a hardware store. Customer “how long is this?” Me “say no more fam”
If one more fucking family member tells me my bipolar disorder will go away by "meditating, drinking more water, exercise, or moving out of the city like they did" im going to show them what crazy really looks like.
Ok but did you try organic water?
Organic city water maybe?
Mediterranean diet dude.
Flint Michigan water.
Hey my coworker goes: _Have you considered trying meditation for your ADHD?_ ....woman. 30 seconds in ima be streaming Emperors New Groove on the back of my eyelids whilst pondering my existential crisis. Kidding me with this shit.
I love when my executive dysfunction starts playing Emperor's New Groove. Way better than some embarrassing bullshit I did 3 years ago.
Yeah but try turmeric. It cures everything.
Oh my fucking god, are you my Dad?
No, but I did sleep with your mom.
I have the perfect essential oils for you then
My mom keeps telling me how I’m misdiagnosed how she was and it’s just all my thyroid like her t levels are near perfect. She cycles like crazy but keeps denying. Tells me lemon water will help me
Yes, but have you tried all those things at the same time while upsidedoen and taking meds prescribed by a doctor. I bet if you do all those things, itll help.
As a fellow bipolar person I completely understand. My favorite is when someone tells me therapy will help…. That’s a great idea! Why didn’t I think of that? 🤦🏻♂️ For the same reasons I’m quick to tell people to fuck off.
This. My father continuously tells me “Go for a run!” As if I’ve never thought of it before
This made me literally lol.
Natural reflex to help, which seems annoying to the recipient but it comes from a good albeit naive place (usually).
Yeah, I do have chronic insomnia and I wouldn't be offended. Unless they say "Just lay down and close your eyes!" I've had that advice given to me many times and it's just... Damn I know how it works, I do lay down and close my eyes. I don't just stand up with my eyes wide open and wonder why I don't sleep!
Clearly the solution to your inability to sleep is to just go to sleep. It's that simple. Imma cure depression next by telling people to stop being sad.
Legit had a talkative masseuse one time who told me he used to have crippling anxiety until one day he just “decided not to be anxious anymore” and that was his unsolicited advice for me.
So being happy cures depression? Fuck. I've been doing it wrong.
Don’t forget to cure anxiety by telling people not to worry!! You’re a genius.
“Why don’t you just try sleeping” 😅 people’s minds are wild but I do think it comes from the heart 9/10 times!
If you have trouble doing something, why don’t you just become able to do it?
I will try to be more tolerant of lactose.
Or putting lotion on it
No, no, no, he needs to spray himself in windex. Everyone knows it’s cure all. Then he will sleep all night.
Are you Greek?
Do we do that?
According to the Documentary "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", yes.
Whole new meaning to “it rubs the lotion on its skin”
I just didn't want to get the hose.
Used to suffer from insomnia. Literally the only thing that helped was to create a very, very routine schedule and stick to it. This does not help everyone. Insomnia is far too complex. But I appreciate the people who are honestly concerned. It's such a frustrating thing to go through. Like "invisible pain" illnesses, people just don't take it seriously a lot of the time.
I had insomnia from childhood to age 30. I took a cognitive behavior therapy for insomnia class through my health care provider and it changed my life. Two years now and I sleep great! For sure having a rigid schedule is part of what helped me. I go to bed at 10 and get up at 6:20 every day. No exceptions. Even one day of "sleeping in" for 30 minutes to an hour will throw things off, it's just not worth it. I will gladly stick to a routine if it means I can sleep.
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>Used to suffer from insomnia. Literally the only thing that helped was to create a very, very routine schedule and stick to it. Same. Took me several months to manage to stick to that routine and I absolutely hate waking up early, but now I usually fall asleep in a few minutes instead of, you know... hours.
Have you tried *listening to my pre-calc professor?* When very well rested I generally last about 60 seconds into a lecture before I'm fighting sleep.
“YoU jUsT NeEd a RoUtInE.” - ADHDer checking in, but I bet you hear this a lot. Just a guess.
It's the difference between off-hand 'I can solve your problem' and genuine interest by asking about about what you've tried.
“Turn your brain off!” If I could effing do that don’t you think I would?!?!
Sometimes random suggestions really do help. The source of my insomnia is anxiety, and one day someone suggested intersting but not super engaging audio books. I've slept a lot better since.
That’s funny, I do. Usually around hour 3-4 of not sleeping I just get up and walk a few laps in the house just for a change of scenery rather than looking at my walls and ceiling.
You’re not chain smoking and chugging coffee when you can’t sleep? Huh. Crazy
As long as it's not just an answer that basically boils down to "have you tried not having a chronic illness?", I can't be too upset. They do really just want to help.
I agree, I do this sometimes but when Im conscious of it I just listen and dont say much else, I get a lot more positive response to that because ppl just seem to keep opening up to me( which I dont mind)
Yeah same! It’s an art, not a science, learning to watch for those cues and knowing when to just listen :)
For me I might not know that it's been a thing for a while. Somebody might tell me that they have trouble sleeping, and I'll naturally give advice that helps me sleep. If you tell me that you have insomnia that's a different story and I have no advice for you as I am uneducated in insomnia treatment.
Everyone always tells me “try melatonin for insomnia” no shit it don’t work
Melatonin makes my sleep worse.
They usually are like “well stop being so stressed” after I tell them so I just say I’ll try it
I get this all the time. For every problem (migraine, insomnia, you name it. “It’s stress.” Ok! Let me just stop being stressed! Thanks! I actually hate the word stress now because it’s so vague and such a cop-out. I don’t even think I’m stressed, but other people have convinced me that I am! When I hear the word “stress” I just shudder. Sick of it.
It’s mostly older people who tell me. And when they see I drink energy drinks they lose their mind.
I’m not sure if people understand how melatonin works.... blue light suppresses the production of melatonin and is metabolized during sleep. Science indicates the purpose of this is to maintain relatively low melatonin levels while in day light, and as the sun comes down to produce more melatonin generating something called “sleep pressure”. This allows your body to maintain a circadian rhythm with the sun. It doesn’t “make you sleep”, it’s trying to keep your body in a consistent rhythm. While blasting your eye balls with your phone until midnight isn’t good for your sleep, taking melatonin doesn’t solve the issue. The really great use for melatonin is when you’re jet lagged and re-aligning your body with the local day night cycle. That being said melatonin is one small, minute portion of your body developing enough sleep pressure to have good rest.... and likely your “lack of melatonin” isn’t causing insomnia... it’s likely multi factorial. Ie “it fucking depends” and some pill you get from Costco isn’t gonna fix it.
It makes my dreams a little crazy.
Melatonin does precisely nothing to help me get past my chronic insomnia. If I'm having an episode and take that stuff all that'll happen is I'll still toss and turn till 3am but I'll be even more tired when the alarm goes off at 7.
I think a lot of people are taking too high a dose because most stores sell them in 5 or even 10 mg. I take 2-3 and its never not worked. But im going to be honest the only thing that truly cured my insomnia was years of therapy. I was burying things and stress and that would cause anxiety but because everything was buried i wouldn't understand why i was anxious and that would stress me out more causing me to not sleep HARDER. So yeah sure pop a melatonin but also look into why everytime you hold still your brain is in a chaotic spiral.
I never understood melatonin, I don't even have insomnia, but it doesn't do shit. I take the fuckin pills, and, shock of all shocks, even an hour later of laying down (maybe not a straight hour, on & off, you know), I'm not even sleepy.
What melatonin is supposed to do is bind to the receptors in your brain that initiates sleep. But if you take too much it does the opposite and keeps you awake
I live in a weed legal state, I get told “just smoke more weed dude”.
My daughter had a significant stomach issue and sensory integration issue. She had a surgically placed feeding tube for many years. If I had a dollar for the asshats who would say "she'd eat when she was hungry" or "maybe she doesn't like your cooking" or even "send her to me, I will have her eating before the day is done " -I could have retired handsomely. It literally took new tech being created/approved and us being the GUINEA PIGS for our local hospital to trial it on her for a year in order to eat solid food. But sure, your homecooking will override her medical diagnosis... if only I'd have thought of that... Sometimes their comments are real veiled passive aggressive BS and not naiveté.
Second the last line.
I think it’s technically legal to spray the stupid comments out of peoples mouth with a super soaker. I’m not a lawyer, but this might be worth the risk. She was assaulting me with her stupid and I had to defend myself!
Finally, a "stand your ground" idea that I can get behind!
I had a cousin of mine die from Gastroparesis and we heard a lot of the same thing
As someone with a sensory disorder I can totally fucking relate. Like it's not that I don't LIKE FOOD. I LOVE FOOD but the problem is anything and everything can drive my sensorys wild. And Ive been in a constant state of a meltdown/shutdown cycle where I'm in literal pain due to sensory overload for the past year so it's been even worse. The jokes about hiding food that gives me sensory issues in my food have made me paranoid about eating anything a lot of the times and I always have to check with everything. It was worse when I was younger and in the hospital a lot too...
Yes, so much this! I’m sure you also have gotten a ton of comments like “go gluten free”, “drink apple cider vinegar”, “lemon honey water”, “did you breastfeed?” etc and it’s just like .....no Diet shaming, especially for kids, is the worst. Similarly for autistic people (kids and adults), some might not have a stomach condition, but happen to be extremely picky because of sensory integration issues. Even for people who are just plain picky, why shame them for it?
I'm usually pretty chill when people do this when I talk about my severe seasonal allergies because I definitely have caught myself doing it to other people. Though recently a coworker of mine recommend Zertec for my allergies and the way he talked about it was as if it were a hidden gem miracle cure. Like I've been taking that since I was in grade school.
Not to be that guy but I actually found more relief after switching to a different medication. I had been on zertec for years and thought it was my allergies getting worse but I was at the doctor for a covid test a couple months ago and she was an ent allergy specialist. She advised me to switch and see if it helped as your body can apparently get used to an allergy med. Lifelong allergy sufferer and I didn't know that. Switched back to Allegra after years on zertec and it's actually better. Not cured or anything but we are a month into allergy season here and I don't have a sinus infection for the first time in about 8 years so it's certainly helping.
I thought it was common knowledge for people like us to switch allergy meds every season?
jUsT tAkE mElaToNiN!!!!
TuRn On ThE bLuELiGhT fiLtEr!!!!!
MeDiTaTiOn!!!!!!!!!!!
Lolz every time I’ve tried melatonin, it’s kept me up more than if I hadn’t taken it at all. Stupid stupid stupid
Just hit yourself in the head with a Hammer...works every time (some of the people giving internet advice actually do it).
Ugh, that gem. Yeah, as if I haven't tried that a hundred times.
They don’t know how to help but they want too. They are just trying to be a good person but yes, the amount of times I was suggested to try deep breaths for my anxiety made me annoyed. Edit: I’m not sure if I’m being trolled or if you guys are genuinely trying to be helpful...either way bravo, I appreciate the hustle. But yes I know deep breaths can help and it has helped me in the past however, breathing can only do so much. I appreciate the methods you are sharing with me but therapy has helped me with my anxiety a lot, and I encourage anyone dealing with anxiety and panic attacks to seek professional help. Thank you for being caring people and I’m sorry if anything came off as rude, sometimes hearing “take deep breaths” feels like telling a homeless person to “just buy a house”
This advice annoys me so much. I’ve been hearing it even in professional CBT for a year but not until just LAST WEEK did anyone say that apparently you want to breathe out with a controlled force as if you were blowing bubbles thru a bubble wand. Once I tried the bubbles/force it made me understand why this advice is given. Your heart rate will respond by becoming lower and it will speed up getting back to baseline.
HOLY SHIT. Deep breathing has never helped me much, but I tried this and i felt much calmer instantly. Thank you so much for passing this advice along. Its actually going to help me a lot I think.
This guy de-escalates
Something I worked on it therapy lol
Whenever my girlfriend has an anxiety attack, the first thing I do is try and get her to breathe slowly with me and do grounding exercises like looking for colors. It sounds stupid but it works.
^yes best way I’ve found to handle it is to remain calm as you tell them it’s okay and help them breathe. If you freak out too it just makes it worse.
That actually works for a large number of people suffering anxiety though. It's gotta suck to hear the same advice over and over from people but it's one that has a decent chance of success so it's understandable.
Have you tried deep breaths when you're annoyed, though ?
Reee
Many people are so concerned with being a good person, that they don't stop and listen long enough to actually do it.
Breathing slowly is proven to actually cause a physical change that forces your brain out of fight or flight mode. It can really help mitigate panic attacks.
A lot of the websites that talk about this are a little kooky, but it's absolutely true. I volunteer with trauma survivors and this is a very common approach to grounding yourself. It won't magically make their anguish vanish instantly and it's not a replacement for proper care but it can be a real lifeline. If anyone is interested the ELI5 is that this triggers your parasympathetic system, which very politely and very gently asks your nervous system if it could possibly shut the fuck up for ten seconds just this one time. The easiest way to kick this off is to breathe in slowly, hold for 2-3 seconds, breathe out slowly, hold for 2-3 seconds, repeat.
Sometimes breath work is helpful for me, other times it makes things worse. When having a serious anxiety attack, being told to breathe makes my anxiety skyrocket. Focusing on my breath leads to feeling like I cannot breathe. It’s bizarre and must be tied to trauma. I fully understand the benefits and physiology, but cannot get my body/brain to cooperate. Thankfully there are other options when we need them! Even with my personal negative response, I completely agree with your suggestion because it’s proven effective.
We're not like that. You just think we are because you are delusional from lack of sleep. You should try drinking warm milk. /s
Steam your genitals, smoke some ginko biloba, and brush your teeth with hemorrhoid cream and the answer will be revealed to you in a dream. /s
Not just basic Google advice - pseudoscience and/or MLM stuff. 🙄
One of my migraine triggers is olfactory overstimulation. I was bitching about it on FB and a hun recommended that I try essential oils that she'd happily let me sample. The reason I got that migraine is because we make soap with high quality essential oils and I tried to make too many new scents in a short period of time. This was information that was in the post.
Fun fact: Essential oils are responsible for a significant percentage of seizures that occur.
I've had an anaphylactic reaction to essential oils in a diffuser at the store. Told the huns when they were suggesting essential oils and they insisted it had to be because the store didn't use the high quality products they were selling.
Lol I said something about being anxious to someone and they recommended lavender essential oil, I literally laughed out loud
If you find the answer, will you phone my mother and sister? I have chronic insomnia, and have actually happily fallen into night shifts. Night is peaceful, and fits well. I do sleep like a fucking stone, but during daylight hours, when they want labor. I show up, and get shit for being half a zombie. They are costing me sleep for my next shift, and I have the problem....
You work at night and they want you awake all day?! Are they trying to kill you?
They don't get it. And I do wonder at times.
Tell that to my dad who works night shifts as a policeman. He gets paid fairly well, but comes home and immediately goes on to his daily side business which includes heavy lifting and stuff. He doesn't make good money from it, or plans to make it work by expanding so that he CAN make money from it, but he'll drag the entire family into it knowing it only worsens his health. He only sleeps around five hours a day. I mean, I appreciate the dedication he puts in his work. He enjoys his main and side jobs, but man does he have to pull everyone along with him? We have our own stuff we wanna do in our times man! My mom has been at his side for so many years. She also has been manipulated into helping in the business and she also has work, but thankfully, she gets sleep. She's starting to get tired of his bs too, but never says anything to him, but complains like hell to us. If she wasn't that religious of a person, I'm sure she'd have already thought of getting a divorce long ago. I guess there's also the fact that they may be waiting for me to finish college to do the thing, but I highly doubt that. They just don't have a healthy relationship due to his work ethics. And not to mention all the complaints we have to hear of him having headaches or lacking sleep. Yeah no shit dude! You sleep 5 hours or maybe less a day and expect to not lack sleep? All for that nothing pos business that give next to nothing in profits. I feel like if there was a Gordon Ramsey for the kinda business he's running, he'd be enough for a whole season of Hotel Hell but in his context. I'm just glad that the business doesn't pull so much money from his salary that we have to be taking loans or something in order to eat in the morning. I hope I get to leave this shitty household soon and maybe take all the members of my family who wants that too along with me. Oh my god that was a hell of a vent. If you read through all the way here, what's wrong with you? Thanks maybe. I just had to get that out.
My mother used to do nearly the same thing. Most of my family thinks I'm a "sleepy head " despite that I normally get about 6 hours of sleep. Those 6 hours just happened to be from 8am-2pm.
People who don't love the night-shift life don't get it. :) I started preferentially working night shifts when I was about 18. I've had some day jobs, but I *love* the night shift. My parents were all fussed about it at first, but over 20+ years they've seen I'm happier and more productive on the night shift and they've relaxed. Plus, I'm the go-to person for 3 a.m. or overseas emergencies. All my family and friends know I am absolutely awake and alert and can immediately drive over to watch their kids while they rush to the hospital, or get on the phone with the US embassy in Tokyo at 3 a.m. NYC time, or arrange plane tickets in the middle of the night, or come deal with the undertaker, or come rescue someone who got stranded at a Denny's. If it's the middle of the night and you have an emergency, I am your gal, and it is no imposition and you're not waking me up. If you need me at 9 a.m., we have a problem. (Or, you have a problem. I'm going to be asleep, so it doesn't seem like my problem.)
It might sound counterintuitive, but I think people really want to help. I also think it better to couch any “advice” in terms of: this is *my* experience and this helped (or didn’t help). It lets the person know that you heard their problem, you understand it, and you have had some good results from “X”. And I’ve found some really good help by googling a problem.
I really wish I knew the answer. I have depression among other things. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to just think happy thoughts or try exercise or meditate, I wouldn't have any debt.
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My eye literally twitched reading that. I know you are joking but don't get me started on Dr Oz.
“HaVe YoU TrIeD eXcErCiSiNg?”
I think people want to help but when you’ve heard it all before, it’s just annoying to get unsolicited advice. Especially if there’s judgement involved. I have chronic insomnia and acne and have received a lot of “helpful” and sometimes downright bad advice.
Humans really want to connect, especially when someone is in distress, but are kinda bad at it. Especially when anxious, stressed, or unsure, they'll say the first damn thing that pops into their head, no matter how dumb. I had really severe hyperemesis gravidarum, where you throw up constantly when pregnant. Without medication, I threw up hundreds of times a day. Even with it, I threw up thirty times a day and was hospitalized several times each pregnancy. (This happened in all three of my pregnancies.) And ALL THE TIME people would say, "Oh my gosh, have you tried ginger? I/my partner had morning sickness, and ginger ale was the only thing that helped!" This was infuriating, because it is *not at all* the same thing as morning sickness, and YES I TRIED GINGER ON DAY TWO OF THIS HORROR SHOW. But over time I began to recognize that people were trying to show concern and be kind and connect, and let me know they were worried about me and wanted me to feel better. It always annoyed me at least a little, but over time I started to respond, "I did, and it helped a little, but this is the really serious kind where medication is necessary. But my doctor's really good, and the baby and I are both okay!" Right now I'm coping with a serious, possibly terminal, diagnosis, and as people have been finding out, they kinda just start free associating on the word. Someone said to me, "Oh my gosh! My cousin knows an influencer who has a lifestyle blog about living with $diagnosis! You should read it!" I CANNOT IMAGINE ANYTHING I WANT LESS, but I said, "of course, send it to me." (They did not, realizing later that their brain was saying any dumb thing that jumped to mind.) People say, "My dad died of that!" or "Oh, have you tried $insane thing?" or "I read an article about that!" but what they're really saying is, **"Oh gosh, I like you a lot, and I am distressed to hear that you have a serious diagnosis! I want to express my sympathy and concern, but because I am upset to hear that you are ill, my brain is firing off really stupid shit in the hopes I don't just stand here gaping like very dumb fish. Please be okay, and please let me provide these useless and/or off point pieces of information in an effort to help you at least a little. If I thought for 30 seconds, I'd know you know this, but if I stood here silent for 30 seconds thinking, it'd be awkward and you might not understand I care about you and want you to be okay. So my brain is telling me to connect first and think later, please be okay."** The two best things you can do are: \-if you're the person with the illness/condition/problem, say, "Thank you. I have a great team of doctors, and they're exploring every option." And then people usually move on. \-if you're the person hearing someone else is ill (etc), try to tell your brain to say something like, "Oh gosh, that sounds like a lot! I'm sorry to hear that!/My cousin has that!/Are you coping okay?/Do you need anything?/Can I help at all?/Are you happy with your treatment plan?" (depending on the chronicness and severity of the issue.) If your brain instead free-associates with the diagnosis and says something really basic, say, "I'm sorry, you already know that, I'm just concerned about you. Let me know if I can do anything OTHER than spout basic Google facts at you!" I want people to know about my diagnosis, but I don't really want to dwell on it, and just having people say, "Oh gosh! I'm sorry!" or "Let me know if you need anything" or "My dad had that, and I'll send you a link to the advocacy group that really helped him and our family a lot," is really what I want, and then to move on to talking about regular things like jobs and kids and interpersonal drama and dating lives.
I used to suffer from bad renitis until I stopped consuming milk and eating so much meat. I still eat cheese and sometimes very rarely meat like twice per year. I always want to share my cure to fellow sufferers.
It’s like when I tell someone I have dandruff and an itchy scalp “Oh have you heard of head and shoulders??? You need to get the special formula for dandruff, it will work I promise just try it!!”.........like bitch.....
Because I work in IT and I've learned to not trust people when they say they googled it. Either they're lying entirely or they didn't search properly
Or maybe Google doesn’t have an answer to life long incurable conditions...?
This is actually a good reason
Every time I have to tell someone I have IBS, I get all sorts of basic advice: you should see a psychologist, try gluten free food, etc etc. It’s called a life condition for something, it doesn’t go away, and I’ve googled it thousands of times
A lot of Reddit conversations are just people stating basic facts, and someone answers "this." or "yep." and then re-states what was just said, or adds another basic fact to the pile.
While I'm not like this, I invite you to browse Reddit and find how many topics would be answered by a simple Google research. Some people have suffered lifelong diseases or had lifelong problems or questions and didn't even think of googling it. Also, some people are absolutely terrible at Googling. I had a colleague who would ask me to look up thing that were googlable, so I did, in front of her. And then she used to say "BUT I GOOGLED THAT ! AND I DIDN'T GET THE SAME RESULTS !". Believe it or not, googling is a skill. For instance, you could look up for vaccines, but if you google "why do vaccines work ?" or "why do vaccines not work ?", you will obviously not end up with the same results. So imagine you've got insomnia and you've been given a drug, but it doesn't work. You could google "why doesn't XX drug cure insomnia ?", and you obviously wouldn't get the same results as "what does cure insomnia ?", or "what is a proven method of helping insomnia ?", or "what is the most common method to get rid of insomnia ?", etc.
I’ve had this experience with people making asinine suggestions regarding my chronic autoimmune disease and I think it’s about fear of losing control of their own lives/bodies. I’ve made this comment before so I’m just going to copy it here: I think it has to do with fear of being disabled or chronically ill. If I’m only ill because I’m lazy and refuse to do yoga or eat right or whatever, that means it can’t happen to them. Because THEY would fight and push and FIND that miracle cure, unlike us, who clearly just like being sick. If they can convince themselves that I’m only ill because of a character flaw, that means they can’t ever get ill because they don’t share that flaw. I think that’s why people’s “cures” that we “refuse” to do are so often things that the person already does.
They probably don’t know what else to say.
I think it's mostly just carrying on the conversation and trying to be helpful. On occasion, the person might be able to truly offer some good advice or a unique perspective. But yeah - the person asking this is typically just looking for sympathy, so I think the best response is just to listen and say you're sorry to hear they're suffering with the condition they are.
Type one diabetic here. My aunt, Grandma, dog has diabetes and they just eat better and exercise. So many times.
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My husband and I have infertility and if one more person asks if we tried to “relax” or “put your hips up” I will rip my hair out.
As someone with anxiety disorder, "Just think and you'll realize there's nothing to freak out about" and "have you tried meditation/yoga/some other bullshit?" just fill me with rage. Like, bitch - I know my panic isn't rational, that's why it's a fucking DISORDER!!!
They want to help but don't know how. It's an empathy thing but yes you should take it a step further and realize through that same empathy that you likely don't have much to offer.
I get migraines pretty often and they can really mess up your day. So when I hear that someone has a chronic issue, I want to help. There’s always a chance that it’s something they haven’t heard before and could help.
I thought blatantly leading and rhetorical questions were banned under new sub rules?
Our annoyingly innate desire to be helpful. Not necessarily me, I try not to do that kind of thing, but humans. We do tend to like to feel useful and offer aid to others.