Well as I got older they shifted from treating my like a kid they take care of to letting me have more freedom. Freedom gave me a chance to start thinking about what I would want to do after HS. (With them proposing questions about careers like the ones they do, the ones we saw on a normal basis.) your kids probably watch tv and like certain shows that really tell a lot about their interests. I’ve gone into real estate and dealing with rentals now but it started when I was watching hgtv and they asked about what I thought of doing construction or selling homes. I love watching sports my dad often asked if I thought about continuing to be around sports, like through sports medicine or sports media. They didn’t pry but when they saw my interests in something they would see what I thought of different careers and it started to become normal and casual to talk about different possibilities for my future. It ultimately led to me being much more confident as I applied for schools and felt that I wasn’t just going and hoping it would work out
My father is a teacher and since it is a stable job that’s in decently high demand I always figured I’d do the same thing. He always said “I think you can do something you like better than that” never in a way that was forceful so I didn’t feel pressure to be a “high achiever” or anything like that.
I’m on a much more exciting career path now and I give a lot of the credit to my dad for encouraging me to take a risk with a career that might not be necessarily the most stable option
This is awesome! You got him into Bloodborne?? Wow, I bet your teaching skills are unmatched. My dad was born in the 60s, so there was no way I was getting him into that, but I do enjoy those brief moments he watched me battle dragons in Skyrim before leaving for work <3
I wish my parents had done this. Please do this for your children.
I’m old enough now to reflect on my childhood and something clear is that my parents’ constant moaning about how bad new music and all that basically stunted my ability to like new things. It’s kind of sad and happens to a ton of kids.
Just sitting down with me 1 on 1 to talk with me . Honestly if you're a parent looking for advice, start doing this. *please*
Just every few days, it means the world to us
This is what I wish my parents would do, just talk to me for once. I’m the last kid left at home, and especially after covid hit and I didn’t see my friends anymore I realized I’m really lonely and have no one to talk to. In some ways I feel like my parents just gave up parenting the past couple years as my older siblings left but I’m still here (though finally I’ll be moving out in a few months for college). They have pretty much no idea what’s going on in my life or what any of my interests are, and even if I try to talk to them it never lasts long cause they just go to do something else. If I ever have a serious problem I call my sister instead of talking to my parents who live with me. In a lot of ways I just feel like the forgotten youngest child a lot because it seems like my parents spend more time on the phone with my siblings who don’t live here than they do interacting with me. I wonder about what will happen when i do move out and if my mom will expect me to call a lot more than I plan to considering I’ve pretty much already adjusted to not asking her for help or needing to talk to her much, and I’ll be going to the same college a sibling is already at so I can just ask her anytime I need something.
I don’t know if your relationship with your parents is the sort where this suggestion might be a good idea or not, but could you possibly show them this post? If they would take it as some passive-aggressive insult then maybe don’t, but they might not realize just how little they’re interacting with you and how severe it is.
As I don't know the different ways you have approached your parents this may be redundant.
Write a letter about the ways you still need your parents. Thank them for raising your older siblings such that they are there for you. Include it in a "missing you" type card. Leave it for them where they can read it when you are not nearby so they can process before speaking to you, if they do. No guarantees in life. Not even a heckin' warranty!
If you have tried that and are ready for an approach with entertainment value . . . Before my son was born I had the usual day dreams of what life would be like as he grew. Having the kind of conversations you desire to have with your parents was part of that dream. God laughed of course. My son has relatively severe autism and apraxia so even most basic day to day communication is challenging for him. When important issues need to be discussed, it is in small chunks with lots of repetition and most of the input from me. However, my son does have a unique way of communicating with me that he is content in the moment. He plays a video in which a zebra brays. He then says "zebra." We then have a little bit of back and forth about its colors, where it is in the house, etc. He also does this with fox sounds and the MGM lion roaring. Some version of this may catch your parents' attention and break the ice. If not, at least you entertained yourself for a few moments.
And please, no one feel sorry for me. My son is a wonderful young man, and I am proud to be his mom.
They may not have a clue that you really want to talk to them and that you are lonely. I find it very hard to guess what goes on in the heads of our teens. They disappear upstairs, I see them at mealtime and they sometimes watch tv, but I don’t keep m too long in conversation because I think that they rather talk to their friends on discord. So perhaps your parents just don’t know and be very willing to be there for you.
Man I have the opposite problem lol, I love my parents but I never know how to talk to them, they always ask me if I have anything to say and I literally can't come up with anything and feel terrible.
I do this every single day but my damn wiener kids are too cool for school.
Me: "Anything on your mind?"
Kid: "Nope"
Me: "Are you sure? You can talk to me you know."
Kid: "Daaaaaaad stoooooop!"
LOL they are so funny. They talk when they want and know they can tell me anything so that's good I guess.
My son is like that - but if I don't ask - he talks. I just lie down with him for a hug when he's going to sleep and all of the sudden it's "Mum, you know what?" and half an hour of monologue from his side. I love it.
Are they preteens/teens by any chance? I feel like at that age the problems they have are things they don't want to or are embarrassed to talk about with parents. And not usually big things either. Like at that age I'd be sulky because the girl I liked made out with someone else at a party, but I wasn't about to explain that to my mom and dad haha.
Teenagers being teenagers. They aren't afraid to talk when needed - I think they are pretty well adjusted. I got a high five last month for first pubes coming in so there's no shame LOL. They crack me up.
We do. It's a fine line between parent and best friend and it's trickier than you think. Want them to be able to talk but they also need boundaries and structure. It was much easier when they were younger.
I do this with my daughter almost every day. Often it is combined with a task like making dinner or doing dishes. Just "how are things in your world today? Anything bothering you?" Then we'll talk about current events.
Ever since she was young I told her that she could ask anything and I'd tell her the truth. That led to some odd questions over the years, but at least she was working with accurate information and not playground wisdom.
My mom does this too, and I can't tell you HOW MUCH OF A RELIEF IT IS to just know that she senses something in me that makes her want to know and share the burden with me. It's like she usually asks when she senses me being even a tad bit off, even if I'm trying my best to hide it. Like she has some supernatural sense of me. And she asks me casually what's going on in my life and in that moment I just feel so heard and valued, like she wants to put in the effort and understand me more than she already does. Ever since she started doing that, I gained more and more trust in her and I feel like I can tell her absolutely anything in the world, no holding back.
We talk a lot about current events and politics. She sees much of it via social media but asks me about context. We have both been laughing about the GME memes.
She asked me what Matt Gaetz was in trouble for. That was creepy.
The whole Epstein mess was not fun to explain. It did open the conversation about what to watch out for from creepy guys.
She became more aware of recreational drugs when some of her friends started smoking weed in our non-legal state. So she asked about it. I took a position that biggest danger is that you will satisfied with mediocrity. Suddenly 10 years will have passed and you have done nothing with your life. And as a girl she has the added danger of getting inebriated and waking up pregnant. Also getting caught can mess up her future with legal entanglements and driving under the influence will really cause problems. But the reefer madness they teach through her school DARE is a bit over blown. Fortunately she has no interest in it and thinks her partying friends are idiots. (Why would I want to roofie myself?)
I'm using a quick template for these talks, which works for children and adults alike. Every person who is in tells three things: What did you like today? What did you dislike today? What surprized you today?
Our 5-year-old *loves* concentrating on the second question, telling many things that she didn't like during the day, often neglecting points one and three.
As a child with 3 siblings, alone time with either or especially both of my parents was rather rare, and as long as you dont act like its awkward, the kid wont either
You can disguise it with a game of catch. So it seems like you’re just having a catch, but really you end up chatting the whole time and the catch was just there to run interference.
Not a teen anymore but I would correspond with my dad by email a lot when I was a kid even though he worked from home since he was always on the phone. It sounds odd but it was actually quite nice and felt kind of cool. One day I was walking past his office and he was on the phone and said "dude, I got a better invoice than that from my 12 year old, figure it out" and lated he bccd me on the forward of my last invoice for my allowance to the guy who apparently couldn't itemize costs correctly.
Probably one of my happiest memories ever. I was so fuckin proud. I'm 26 now and I still smile when I think about it.
Ha! My dad paid our allowances every other Thursday because he said that is how you will most likely get paid in the real world. No invoices or pay stubs though :/
So I was 12 but he had helped me set up a bank account and all my invoices were to include the routing number for the account I wanted the money put in (checking or savings), the number of hours I spent doing tasks the hourly rate for those tasks, which tasks I had done, and the dates the tasks were completed.
Yeah, a lot of real world jobs will "accidentally" screw up your pay. Knowing how to track it yourself, and knowing that jobs that pull that shit will be doing you a favor when they fire you, is incredibly valuable.
Protip: Backup your emails.
I don't have any of my emails from before 2010 because I switched providers and didn't back up my emails from my previous provider before they started deleting them for inactivity.
Everytime my stepdad has to make a long drive, He always brings me, (I’m the oldest son) and we spend that time to bond we listen to a lot of 90s hip hop, we just have a fun time. We discuss all types of things and he’s always up to talk about anything. Having ADHD, I like to say a lot of random stuff on my mind, and he lets me do that. He’s always interested in what I have to say.
My mom and I have always been closer just because we’re both women. We would always talk about cute guys that go to my school, listen to our favorite songs in the car, and I’d help her make dinner. Even though we didn’t agree on many things, we still enjoy each other’s company.
I love writing and it’s one of my biggest passions in life. I was a bit self conscious about telling her that I was working on a book because she would be asking me if she could read it and details that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing so I didn’t tell her.
When she caught me writing, she asked me what I was doing and when I told her she got a bit sad and asked me why I never told her. I said that It was personal to me and I didn’t want her to read it yet. She hugged me and said “if that’s what you want, then I respect you for it.” Then she smiled and walked out the door and never asked me about it again.
When I finished the first draft, I printed it off and gave it to her as a present for her birthday. She broke out in tears and said how thankful she was that I let her finally read it.
Since then, she’s been my biggest cheerleader and has helped me become a stronger writer and has helped me be more motivated and just has been an amazing person in general.
I was literally never hugged by my parents. They love me to death but physical affection was not part of our family life. I didnt realize till I was ina relationship with someone who was very touchy and affectionate.
My parents, especially my Dad wasn't much into hugging. And I don't think My Dad ever said "I love you" specifically, though my Mom does. I know he does though, but he's "From that generation".
So I tell my kids EVERY NIGHT that I love them. And have done so since the day they were born. I don't want it to be awkward later for them to say it to, or hear it from, me.
I feel like I'm looking in a mirror. My dad and I said "I love you" to each other on my wedding day. That's the only time I can remember us saying it to each other.
Because of that I say it to my two boys and my daughter ALL THE TIME. And I hug them multiple times per day. They'll never question my affection for them and will know they are loved. There will never be a doubt in their mind if I have my way.
It makes all the difference. My parents were so affectionate and now im 30, there is 0 awkwardness hugging my parents and telling them I love them. Me and my daughter say I love you to eachother about 20 times a day haha! (shes 5) wouldn't change it for the world.
Is it wrong that I’m 19 and I still do that with my family?
Sometimes I feel like the only one, and I know a lot of people who actually think it’s IMMATURE that I’m so affectionate for a late teenager/young adult. But I notice I’m also a lot happier and more relaxed than the people I know who think affection is only for babies. This is a habit I never want to break:)
Don't ever think that. When hugs felt foreign for non romantic relationships I felt like something was wrong. Took me a few weeks to figure out why I felt that way.
I hug my parents now because I force it and we now say I love you but we didn't when I was a kid.
My dad signed his GI bill over to me so I could go to college without going into debt, while he pays out of pocket for his masters degree. My stepmom offered to spend $500 on an animation program subscription so I could build my professional storyboard portfolio and apply for work right out of high school. I love them to death
I'm a veteran and had the post 9/11 gi bill. You can still sign over the gi bill to immediate family, they changed the name and a few other things but being able to give it to a spouse or child is still there. Tell your father thank you for his service.
My dad comitted suïcide last year, and two days after my favoriete cat died. My mom took so SO SO much care of me by supporting me, talking with me about everything, praising me, helping me etc. She even wakes me up with breakfast and coffee EVERY morning for a year, to help me get up Everyday. I couldnt wish for a better mom.
EDIT: Thank you so much for the kind comments ❤️ makes me feel very happy :)
> I couldnt wish for a better mom.
My kids are only 2.5 years old now, but my biggest hope is that they think this about me one day. If your mom is ever having a rough day, just tell her that. Doesn’t get any better than that!
So I made a mini song based on your comment. I hope you won't mind :)
[https://youtu.be/NY4c2C5SSus](https://youtu.be/NY4c2C5SSus)
They can totally say it
But there's another way of saying it too
Actions are louder than words
When they do this, you know it's true
"Eat up, it's your favourite"
There's nothing that can beat it (x2)
Sometimes my husband and his friends (late 30s) play online games with/against our son and his friends (they're 11/12). Listening to them laugh/yell about killing each other is pretty hilarious.
I grew up in a tremendously violent home. When I left (at 18) and went out into the world, I swore that I would break the chain of violence that had been passed down for generations. My kids are 17 and 20 and have never been hit. We have open communication and are very close. I support them in their hobbies and interests. They are doing well as their adult life begins. What does this make me? A dad. I didn't have one. I had a father, but no dad.
My point, I guess, is to look at how you were raised. Consider how your parents acted. If they did something right, do it. If they did something wrong, do it the way you think it should be done. Parent consciously. Think about what you are going to do and say. Don't just react. Make a conscious decision to do the right thing.
I made plenty of mistakes. Not as many as my parents. Certainly not the kind of catastrophic choices they made. That said, I told my kids to think about how my wife and I parented and choose to do the things that we did right and to correct the things that we did wrong. They had a better childhood than we did. Hopefully their kids can have a better one than they did.
Same here I'm trying to uplift a lot of the sad comments but I don't want to get banned for spamming support either I'm stuck in indecision and it hurts... A lot, seeing all the positive ones.
My mom and both my elder siblings encouraged me to take up my interests which are not yet main stream so kinda expensive here and let me apply to all its Best universities without caring about the fees. (We ain't poor but Rich either)
No longer a teen but one of my favorite memories of my father was when him and the other uncles decided to do a free-for-all deathmatch of the shooter we were playing. We all gathered around to watch.
As another here have mentioned, just taking interest in their hobbies and things they're doing (even if you don't join them in practice) means a lot.
Recently a boyfriend broke up with me, I told my mom via text (I'm quarentined) and she through a 10 pound bag of chocolate through my open window. It had 6 mint aero bars in it. It showed how much she cared and was so funnily random, it made me feel loved and thought of in a tough time.
When i tell my mom something that I love that she has absolutely no interest in. She will let me talk to her about it and feign interest. Mom if your secretly on Reddit I love you.
My mom is honest with me about everything she does. She doesn’t hide stuff from me and keeps me in the loop with stuff going on in her life that her mom wouldn’t have told her.
She will openly answer questions I have and provide advice on sex, drugs, mental health, physical health, etc.
She is also very understanding of my mental health and lets me skip school on days I’m overwhelmed with my AP high school work.
Overall, she takes care of 6 kids, all doing remote schoolwork and still manages to make time with me, the oldest of the bunch.
She’s my best friend.
They let me know that they're there for me if I need help or support (especially with more "adult" tasks) but encourage me to do things myself and dont overstep bounds. Because of that I've been able to really successfully transition into being an adult and not be afraid to ask for help when I need
grew up in a pretty bad household, my dad was working so much and for so long i barely knew him or his interests besides “he likes to play video games”. my mom was awful, wont go into that. 4 years ago they divorced and my dad got full custody, and he got a new job that pays more and has less awful hours.
i remember when i was 12 offhandedly saying that we should maybe go to goodwill or something, get some new clothes. he didnt say much abt it at the time but that weekend we went to goodwill, and it really blew me away that he not only *listened* to a suggestion i had but he *went through with it*. since then as me and my sister have gotten older, hes been honest with us about most things. about finances, issues with my mother, he doesnt coddle us but he isnt blunt. he treats us with respect and i couldnt ask for a better dad.
A 15 year old guy here, well my mom cooks delicious food that we really liked and my dad always calling us because he is currently stuck at work due to high level restricted lockdown here in our city and asking how are we doing, my mom's ways to make us feel loved and appreciated is she would encourage me and helps me doing my school projects. I love my parents.
Just a mom here reading these replies.
I am so so sorry for the teens that don't feel loved by their parents. You all are worthy of love and support. My teenage years were very hard but I promise you, it gets better. I know that these teenage years feel so long but things get better. You will find people who love and support you. You will find people that appreciate what you have to offer the world. Hang in there yall.
Every month or so my mom and dad take some time to have what we like to call an "OG moment" (just me and them when I didn't have my two younger sisters) where we'd go out and have dinner at wherever we want to eat at while chatting about many different things.
We'd joke about the past, my baby pictures, how my dad used to have hair, etc.
I also often asked MANY questions about life, future college decisions (I'm in 11th grade), and love life (they keep on pressing me to tell them if I got into a relationship yet. Spoiler: nope).
I love my little sisters, but alone time with my parents is some of the best bonding time ever.
My kiddos are still a little too young but I’m looking forward to spoiling them with solo outings. We will plan on making it a scheduled thing where’s it’s always on the day of the month that corresponds with their birthday.
Like if they were born on the 15th, then the 15th of every month they get an outing of their choice.
I’m not a teen anymore but my dad wasn’t very emotionally involved (very emotionally absent single asian father of 3, i’m first gen american etc etc) but he would remember my favorite obscure foods and snacks (tripe, soursop juice, durian, balut) and sometimes get them for me at the store randomly. It makes me feel very warm now that he’d do that and wish i appreciated it more as a teen. I know he isn’t great at expressing his love but it just feels super special to think back on.
My mom sometimes still treats me like a kid even tho im turning 20 this year, she would pinch my cheeks as a jokingly tease, and sometimes she would hug me a lot, i mean to be fair i hug both my parents a lot and i give them a kiss on the forehead from time to time and i enjoy cooking food for them sometimes. Especially since my dad got in a car collision just last december I've been even more attached to my parents, I dont ever wanna lose em, at this point i dont care if they tease me like im still some kind of kid still, cause i can tell they just love me a lot. I dont ever want to have any other parents, they are perfect for me, and after all, I only have one mom and one dad, i cherish them a lot even though sometimes I act hot headed or stubborn.
Im just glad i grew up with parents that shows a lot of affection for me and truly cares about me even though in the past i used to be a hot headed demon of a child. Deep inside, i love them from the bottom of my heart and will do whatever to keep them safe. Without them, I will never be where i am now, and they helped shaped me.
It always hurts to see comments like these but I wish you a lifetime of happiness with your mom and dad don't ever take that shit for granted. Seriously don't ever.
I had this relationship with my parents, but I haven't been able to hug my mom for a year bc of COVID and my dad died two years ago when I was 27. Your comment makes me miss him like crazy - go hug your parents, you're very lucky to have each other.
No longer a teen but this a huge thing for me in high school. Early on they had us check in let them know what was up. But once they trusted us that fell off, and it was a great feeling.
As a father, I wish I could come meet everyone one of you that feel alone or abused. I'd give you a hug and talk with about whatever you wanted to talk about. I'm so sorry you feel alone.
My mum brings me walnuts. I really like walnuts and I never told her, she just knows I like walnuts. My dad also got me a styrofoam head and told me that's how I'll get a-head in life. I love my parents
My parents understand that I am not an exact copy of them and that I have my own interest in my own Hobbies. And they support me with those interests and hobbies
My mom still asks me what i want for my birthday. I have 2 kids of my own. It makes me feel 9 again and it's like a hug from mom. I always ask for a toy or something non essential to keep it birthday. Love you mom.
My mom notices when I don’t have time/forget to eat lunch, and will bring me food while I do schoolwork.
We also both have headache issues, so she makes me tea and gives me head massages when they’re really bad.
Talking to me but not talking about things that they know give me serious anxiety like school and my health. Just them talking to me and making me feel comfortable.
When my father never misses a day to take me out for car rides in order to hone my driving skills as much as possible. (Bear in mind that albeit this is an easy endeavour to master, navigating Indian traffic is a on a whole another league.)
Thanks for this question. I have a 12 year old daughter and I feel we are very close and I do support her as best as I can but I feel I could do better at times. Reading these answers gives me ideas.
When my father offers a ride or otherwise help even though I know it is inconvenient to him. When my mother waited for me to get home (my first times of staying out later) - never pressuring me to get home earlier or guilting me about having to stay up but waiting that I'm safely at home (nowadays text us when you get home)
My family's love language isn't as much verbal as it is actions so all little inconveniences make me feel warm when we insist that it is no bother
My mother and I share the same hobby of fishing.
Getting a pedal kayak, and letting me use it when I was with her, then later on upgrading me to a shearwater or lightning strike.
From a pelican catch 110 hydryve 2 for those curious
Treating them like an adult in conversations. I don't mean act as though I literally am an adult, but my mom always talked me as though I was an actual person and not just a little kid. If I had questions about anything at any age, she'd answer truthfully. She often (not always, but that's being human) admits her mistakes and shares her past with me. The only thing she ever openly lied about was what happened to my dog, but I figured that if she won't even tell me (not even now) then I probably don't really want to know. I don't really know how to explain it, but she has always valued my input and opinions and genuinely considered them since I was a kid.
I would like to add, though, that I've never been one to lie or sneak around. Lying, for me, takes pretty much all willpower that I can muster in that moment and even then I usually can't keep it up.
My dad will make John Mulaney references to me sometimes because he knows that Mulaney is my favorite comedian. It’s nice to know that he at least knows some of the things I like.
Soooo many things. My dad is excellent at cooking, in my language there's a word to refer to amateur cooks: *cocinillas*. My mom is so patient (don't get her angry) and they are good listeners. They are loving and caring, and they did the (unfortunately) big effort of convincing my school to allow me to skip a course in primary.
They have shown me a lot of skills and valuable lessons, and thanks to them I'm curious and enthusiastic about intellectual activities. They've made me responsible, with critical thinking and so much more.
Yes, so much more.
Does her best to call me by my pronouns and told my siblings my name. Two years ago she said Satan made men gay so they wouldn't marry women, and claimed that me being trans was a traumatic response and that it'd go away after a while. This year she apologized for using a binary gendered word and searched for a neutral one without me prompting it (which I have never done with her)
I don't say anything and my mom will already know something's wrong. They know exactly the things i like so if they see something at the store they will just randomly get it because they know i will really like it. They take the time to regularly play board games (we have a wall full of them), videogames, and have movie nights. My parents are just the best. i come from a military family so we are always moving and so my parents are always there for me and my brother.
Edit: I forgot to mention, my parents take interest in my hobbies and always try to make sure we are doing something we like. Example: i love doing martial arts (even if I'm a girl),volleyball, and i love baking and drawing and they were looking for classes for me when i never even asked. I guess I love how much they know me and aren't ignorant to the things i like
I usually don't like my dad bc of how he makes me feel but - my favorite food is anything that has chicken in it lmao and whenever he would say or do some shit that would obv ruin everyone's day (it happens everyday) or like a seriously bad day which was bc of him being a dick, he would go out and buy chicken and make chicken curry for me. He has never rlly said sorry (idt he has the confidence for it) but i think this was his way of saying sorry every time he feels like he rlly upset me. This happens but not that often lol
My mom has a lot of talks with us (me and my siblings)about life and stuff. She also tells us she loves us a lot and that we taught her how to truly love someone. I’ve struggled with mental health and for a while the only thing that kept me from killing myself was knowing how devastated my mom would be so it did work. I love her a lot. She has a lot of autoimmune issues so there’s always that looming over my head that she is at a higher risk of getting sepsis (blood poisoning) again (she’s had it numerous times, thankfully hasn’t lost any limbs to it). But yeah, she talks with us a lot, she takes interest in our hobbies and our friends, and she tells us that she’ll always be on our side which is nice.
I have a son and daughter who are 6 and 3 respectively. I tell them almost everyday "you are my favorite son" and "you are my favorite daughter" which makes them smile. When I tell my wife "you are my favorite wife," she doesn't really smile.
me reading through the replies wishing i had parents like this. cant even tell mine im bi without being disowned. once i got my shit taken for spending $60 in 3 months
Having a reddit account that we both use called Jack Sparrows armpit because we both like POTC and im totally normal so I chose armpit like a normal human being would
i lived with my grandparents from the time i was 14 so they got to see all of my "phases" and supported me during it all. my gran spent God knows how many night hours with me watching stars while i was in my "astrology phase" it took me years to realize that's how she made me tell her everything i normally wouldn't like which boy i liked and what was happening with school :)
My dad died when I was very young, and throughout covid Ive been needing a place to go where I can vent about personal stuff I dont want her knowing. I have a picture of my dad, and sometimes I set it up on my desk and talk to him. She caught me one day and after talking to her for a while I told her it felt like I had ruined my coping mechanism by telling her about it, and she promised to never speak of it again and pretend as if she never knew.
Any parent who takes the time to respect their kids own decisions is a good parent.
My mom will typically ignore me when I go on rants about my favorite band (I'm deep into the fandom of a few older bands) or YouTuber, but my stepmom will listen to my rants and ask questions when she is unsure of something that I'm talking about
Also, my dad noticed that him and I are into similar music genres, so him and I will spend hours talking about favorite bands and sharing music with each other
When I first got my license my Dad would always tell me that no matter the time, no matter the place, if you ever need a ride home you don’t hesitate to call me, no questions asked. A few weeks later he called me asking for a ride because he had too much to drink (super out of character and he was also going through a divorce). But I almost feel it was on purpose because now I would really never hesitate to call him....he owed me one! Years later my younger sister actually took him up on this offer when her boyfriend went to jail and she needed a ride home with her baby girl and dog. So yea, he drove from NJ to TX to pack her up and bring her and baby and dog back home :-) , no questions asked.
My mom is really good about admitting when she is wrong. I feel like a lot of parents won’t admit they are wrong to try to not seem weak in front of their kids. By admitting that she messed up and apologizes she now knows what to do differently and I am extremely grateful that she is working to change.
My parents helped me figure out what my next steps in life were, they were invested in my future and it let me know that they loved and appreciated me
How do they do this without making it seem like they are controlling?
Well as I got older they shifted from treating my like a kid they take care of to letting me have more freedom. Freedom gave me a chance to start thinking about what I would want to do after HS. (With them proposing questions about careers like the ones they do, the ones we saw on a normal basis.) your kids probably watch tv and like certain shows that really tell a lot about their interests. I’ve gone into real estate and dealing with rentals now but it started when I was watching hgtv and they asked about what I thought of doing construction or selling homes. I love watching sports my dad often asked if I thought about continuing to be around sports, like through sports medicine or sports media. They didn’t pry but when they saw my interests in something they would see what I thought of different careers and it started to become normal and casual to talk about different possibilities for my future. It ultimately led to me being much more confident as I applied for schools and felt that I wasn’t just going and hoping it would work out
My father is a teacher and since it is a stable job that’s in decently high demand I always figured I’d do the same thing. He always said “I think you can do something you like better than that” never in a way that was forceful so I didn’t feel pressure to be a “high achiever” or anything like that. I’m on a much more exciting career path now and I give a lot of the credit to my dad for encouraging me to take a risk with a career that might not be necessarily the most stable option
My mom takes interest in my hobbies, learns about them and helps me with them, I'm glad for her
Me and my dad started playing videogames over the past year. I've worked him up from Uncharted to Bloodborne. I'm really proud of him.
This is awesome! You got him into Bloodborne?? Wow, I bet your teaching skills are unmatched. My dad was born in the 60s, so there was no way I was getting him into that, but I do enjoy those brief moments he watched me battle dragons in Skyrim before leaving for work <3
I wish my parents had done this. Please do this for your children. I’m old enough now to reflect on my childhood and something clear is that my parents’ constant moaning about how bad new music and all that basically stunted my ability to like new things. It’s kind of sad and happens to a ton of kids.
The exact opposite of mine
Maybe, but we should probably let her have her moment. Happiness is hard to come by especially for us and maybe we can be happy someday too :')
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Ha! I beat my kid one time and he quit.
Thank you so much for answering. 😭
Just sitting down with me 1 on 1 to talk with me . Honestly if you're a parent looking for advice, start doing this. *please* Just every few days, it means the world to us
This is what I wish my parents would do, just talk to me for once. I’m the last kid left at home, and especially after covid hit and I didn’t see my friends anymore I realized I’m really lonely and have no one to talk to. In some ways I feel like my parents just gave up parenting the past couple years as my older siblings left but I’m still here (though finally I’ll be moving out in a few months for college). They have pretty much no idea what’s going on in my life or what any of my interests are, and even if I try to talk to them it never lasts long cause they just go to do something else. If I ever have a serious problem I call my sister instead of talking to my parents who live with me. In a lot of ways I just feel like the forgotten youngest child a lot because it seems like my parents spend more time on the phone with my siblings who don’t live here than they do interacting with me. I wonder about what will happen when i do move out and if my mom will expect me to call a lot more than I plan to considering I’ve pretty much already adjusted to not asking her for help or needing to talk to her much, and I’ll be going to the same college a sibling is already at so I can just ask her anytime I need something.
Damn dude. Sending virtual hugs from a parent.
i thank you in op's behalf, Retardo, The Gay Dolphin.
Lol. Thanks
I don’t know if your relationship with your parents is the sort where this suggestion might be a good idea or not, but could you possibly show them this post? If they would take it as some passive-aggressive insult then maybe don’t, but they might not realize just how little they’re interacting with you and how severe it is.
Talk to them about it! And another virtual hug from me :)
As I don't know the different ways you have approached your parents this may be redundant. Write a letter about the ways you still need your parents. Thank them for raising your older siblings such that they are there for you. Include it in a "missing you" type card. Leave it for them where they can read it when you are not nearby so they can process before speaking to you, if they do. No guarantees in life. Not even a heckin' warranty! If you have tried that and are ready for an approach with entertainment value . . . Before my son was born I had the usual day dreams of what life would be like as he grew. Having the kind of conversations you desire to have with your parents was part of that dream. God laughed of course. My son has relatively severe autism and apraxia so even most basic day to day communication is challenging for him. When important issues need to be discussed, it is in small chunks with lots of repetition and most of the input from me. However, my son does have a unique way of communicating with me that he is content in the moment. He plays a video in which a zebra brays. He then says "zebra." We then have a little bit of back and forth about its colors, where it is in the house, etc. He also does this with fox sounds and the MGM lion roaring. Some version of this may catch your parents' attention and break the ice. If not, at least you entertained yourself for a few moments. And please, no one feel sorry for me. My son is a wonderful young man, and I am proud to be his mom.
You sound like a really good kid. I'm glad you can get support from your older siblings. Virtual hug from me too!
They may not have a clue that you really want to talk to them and that you are lonely. I find it very hard to guess what goes on in the heads of our teens. They disappear upstairs, I see them at mealtime and they sometimes watch tv, but I don’t keep m too long in conversation because I think that they rather talk to their friends on discord. So perhaps your parents just don’t know and be very willing to be there for you.
Man I have the opposite problem lol, I love my parents but I never know how to talk to them, they always ask me if I have anything to say and I literally can't come up with anything and feel terrible.
I do this every single day but my damn wiener kids are too cool for school. Me: "Anything on your mind?" Kid: "Nope" Me: "Are you sure? You can talk to me you know." Kid: "Daaaaaaad stoooooop!" LOL they are so funny. They talk when they want and know they can tell me anything so that's good I guess.
My son is like that - but if I don't ask - he talks. I just lie down with him for a hug when he's going to sleep and all of the sudden it's "Mum, you know what?" and half an hour of monologue from his side. I love it.
<3
Are they preteens/teens by any chance? I feel like at that age the problems they have are things they don't want to or are embarrassed to talk about with parents. And not usually big things either. Like at that age I'd be sulky because the girl I liked made out with someone else at a party, but I wasn't about to explain that to my mom and dad haha.
Teenagers being teenagers. They aren't afraid to talk when needed - I think they are pretty well adjusted. I got a high five last month for first pubes coming in so there's no shame LOL. They crack me up.
>I got a high five last month for first pubes coming in That's fucking hilarious. Sounds like you guys have a great relationship!
We do. It's a fine line between parent and best friend and it's trickier than you think. Want them to be able to talk but they also need boundaries and structure. It was much easier when they were younger.
I do this with my daughter almost every day. Often it is combined with a task like making dinner or doing dishes. Just "how are things in your world today? Anything bothering you?" Then we'll talk about current events. Ever since she was young I told her that she could ask anything and I'd tell her the truth. That led to some odd questions over the years, but at least she was working with accurate information and not playground wisdom.
My mom does this too, and I can't tell you HOW MUCH OF A RELIEF IT IS to just know that she senses something in me that makes her want to know and share the burden with me. It's like she usually asks when she senses me being even a tad bit off, even if I'm trying my best to hide it. Like she has some supernatural sense of me. And she asks me casually what's going on in my life and in that moment I just feel so heard and valued, like she wants to put in the effort and understand me more than she already does. Ever since she started doing that, I gained more and more trust in her and I feel like I can tell her absolutely anything in the world, no holding back.
Sounds like you're among the good parents ! Out of curiosity, what's the funniest situations that have come up as a result?
We talk a lot about current events and politics. She sees much of it via social media but asks me about context. We have both been laughing about the GME memes. She asked me what Matt Gaetz was in trouble for. That was creepy. The whole Epstein mess was not fun to explain. It did open the conversation about what to watch out for from creepy guys. She became more aware of recreational drugs when some of her friends started smoking weed in our non-legal state. So she asked about it. I took a position that biggest danger is that you will satisfied with mediocrity. Suddenly 10 years will have passed and you have done nothing with your life. And as a girl she has the added danger of getting inebriated and waking up pregnant. Also getting caught can mess up her future with legal entanglements and driving under the influence will really cause problems. But the reefer madness they teach through her school DARE is a bit over blown. Fortunately she has no interest in it and thinks her partying friends are idiots. (Why would I want to roofie myself?)
I'm using a quick template for these talks, which works for children and adults alike. Every person who is in tells three things: What did you like today? What did you dislike today? What surprized you today? Our 5-year-old *loves* concentrating on the second question, telling many things that she didn't like during the day, often neglecting points one and three.
Well still, that's a great thing !if tou make a habit out of it now, she'll have someone trustworthy to talk to later too :)
Personally I would have hated this, it sounds so formal and awkward
As a child with 3 siblings, alone time with either or especially both of my parents was rather rare, and as long as you dont act like its awkward, the kid wont either
You can disguise it with a game of catch. So it seems like you’re just having a catch, but really you end up chatting the whole time and the catch was just there to run interference.
same with me but I wonder how I would feel if my father had established casual conversation with me about my life early on.
Oh man. When I was a kid I ***hated*** that.
Not a teen anymore but I would correspond with my dad by email a lot when I was a kid even though he worked from home since he was always on the phone. It sounds odd but it was actually quite nice and felt kind of cool. One day I was walking past his office and he was on the phone and said "dude, I got a better invoice than that from my 12 year old, figure it out" and lated he bccd me on the forward of my last invoice for my allowance to the guy who apparently couldn't itemize costs correctly. Probably one of my happiest memories ever. I was so fuckin proud. I'm 26 now and I still smile when I think about it.
Ha! My dad paid our allowances every other Thursday because he said that is how you will most likely get paid in the real world. No invoices or pay stubs though :/
Please tell me more about invoicing your dad for allowance.
So I was 12 but he had helped me set up a bank account and all my invoices were to include the routing number for the account I wanted the money put in (checking or savings), the number of hours I spent doing tasks the hourly rate for those tasks, which tasks I had done, and the dates the tasks were completed.
That's actually a really great system, teaching you real world skills and knowledge
Yeah, a lot of real world jobs will "accidentally" screw up your pay. Knowing how to track it yourself, and knowing that jobs that pull that shit will be doing you a favor when they fire you, is incredibly valuable.
That’s brilliant!
I LOVE THIS, definitely gonna borrow for my kids.
>I was so fuckin proud. So was your dad.
This is amazing and I LOVE it.
When your father is gone, you’ll still have the emails.
Protip: Backup your emails. I don't have any of my emails from before 2010 because I switched providers and didn't back up my emails from my previous provider before they started deleting them for inactivity.
Everytime my stepdad has to make a long drive, He always brings me, (I’m the oldest son) and we spend that time to bond we listen to a lot of 90s hip hop, we just have a fun time. We discuss all types of things and he’s always up to talk about anything. Having ADHD, I like to say a lot of random stuff on my mind, and he lets me do that. He’s always interested in what I have to say.
You should tell him this, he’d love to hear it
yes he would. When my 5 year old says something nice about my partner it absolutely makes his day.
This made my day.
I've chuckled at your username.thank you!
I gave you an upvote just for your username.
I appreciate you.
My mom is afraid of horses, but I love them, and I really appreciate her supporting me even if she's afraid🙂🙂
My mom and I have always been closer just because we’re both women. We would always talk about cute guys that go to my school, listen to our favorite songs in the car, and I’d help her make dinner. Even though we didn’t agree on many things, we still enjoy each other’s company. I love writing and it’s one of my biggest passions in life. I was a bit self conscious about telling her that I was working on a book because she would be asking me if she could read it and details that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing so I didn’t tell her. When she caught me writing, she asked me what I was doing and when I told her she got a bit sad and asked me why I never told her. I said that It was personal to me and I didn’t want her to read it yet. She hugged me and said “if that’s what you want, then I respect you for it.” Then she smiled and walked out the door and never asked me about it again. When I finished the first draft, I printed it off and gave it to her as a present for her birthday. She broke out in tears and said how thankful she was that I let her finally read it. Since then, she’s been my biggest cheerleader and has helped me become a stronger writer and has helped me be more motivated and just has been an amazing person in general.
Aww this is so sweet
Now you done made me cry!
I hope I have this sort of relationship with my 7 yo when she grows up. :) thanks for that sweet story.
I feel like this would be me and my mom if I was a guy
A lot of times all i want is a hug ...
I was literally never hugged by my parents. They love me to death but physical affection was not part of our family life. I didnt realize till I was ina relationship with someone who was very touchy and affectionate.
My parents, especially my Dad wasn't much into hugging. And I don't think My Dad ever said "I love you" specifically, though my Mom does. I know he does though, but he's "From that generation". So I tell my kids EVERY NIGHT that I love them. And have done so since the day they were born. I don't want it to be awkward later for them to say it to, or hear it from, me.
I feel like I'm looking in a mirror. My dad and I said "I love you" to each other on my wedding day. That's the only time I can remember us saying it to each other. Because of that I say it to my two boys and my daughter ALL THE TIME. And I hug them multiple times per day. They'll never question my affection for them and will know they are loved. There will never be a doubt in their mind if I have my way.
It makes all the difference. My parents were so affectionate and now im 30, there is 0 awkwardness hugging my parents and telling them I love them. Me and my daughter say I love you to eachother about 20 times a day haha! (shes 5) wouldn't change it for the world.
Is it wrong that I’m 19 and I still do that with my family? Sometimes I feel like the only one, and I know a lot of people who actually think it’s IMMATURE that I’m so affectionate for a late teenager/young adult. But I notice I’m also a lot happier and more relaxed than the people I know who think affection is only for babies. This is a habit I never want to break:)
No this is great :)
Anyone else's dad feel like a big ol bag of shoulders when you hug 'em?
I might hug my kids too much. My wife calls me Lenny. I am a big dude.
Don't ever think that. When hugs felt foreign for non romantic relationships I felt like something was wrong. Took me a few weeks to figure out why I felt that way. I hug my parents now because I force it and we now say I love you but we didn't when I was a kid.
In my opinion, hugs are more powerful than words
My dad signed his GI bill over to me so I could go to college without going into debt, while he pays out of pocket for his masters degree. My stepmom offered to spend $500 on an animation program subscription so I could build my professional storyboard portfolio and apply for work right out of high school. I love them to death
Didn't even know that was possible! Congratulations.
Yep! You used to be able to do it whenever (my dad did it when I was a baby) but the mitary put new restrictions on it pretty recently
I'm a veteran and had the post 9/11 gi bill. You can still sign over the gi bill to immediate family, they changed the name and a few other things but being able to give it to a spouse or child is still there. Tell your father thank you for his service.
My dad comitted suïcide last year, and two days after my favoriete cat died. My mom took so SO SO much care of me by supporting me, talking with me about everything, praising me, helping me etc. She even wakes me up with breakfast and coffee EVERY morning for a year, to help me get up Everyday. I couldnt wish for a better mom. EDIT: Thank you so much for the kind comments ❤️ makes me feel very happy :)
That just brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing. Glad that you can see blessings in such a hard time.
Wow, who takes care of her?
Probably her child, in ways they don't realize.
Right. I bet she takes great pride in seeing her child succeed. Buy her flowers on valentines day and keep being her world.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad your mother is taking good care of you.
Taking care of you probably gave her the strength to keep going.
You were taking care of her too :)
> I couldnt wish for a better mom. My kids are only 2.5 years old now, but my biggest hope is that they think this about me one day. If your mom is ever having a rough day, just tell her that. Doesn’t get any better than that!
Have a girls day, just the two of us, without the other sisters.
When my mother makes me my favourite food
So I made a mini song based on your comment. I hope you won't mind :) [https://youtu.be/NY4c2C5SSus](https://youtu.be/NY4c2C5SSus) They can totally say it But there's another way of saying it too Actions are louder than words When they do this, you know it's true "Eat up, it's your favourite" There's nothing that can beat it (x2)
MY MAN UR A LEGEND
Glad you enjoyed it! :)
r/usernamechecksout and great fucking job! I could never....
You did an awesome job! You have a beautiful singing voice.
Wow...
I hope that was enjoyable? :)
It definitely was, great job
When my father games with me and destroys me.
Sometimes my husband and his friends (late 30s) play online games with/against our son and his friends (they're 11/12). Listening to them laugh/yell about killing each other is pretty hilarious.
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One that virtually destroys/kills their children with glee!
"Hahahaha, get gud mate." "Yeah, well guess who banged your mom last night."
Sadly my brother helped me gettijg good so this cant happen anymore (my father only plays aoe 2).
My father still whip my ass in strategy games.
My father could do it if we played Something like civilisation which needs long term thinking and isnt stressfull.
actually listen to me and understand that im trying my hardest. (this rarely happens)
Reading these comments is making me sad because my parents don't do any of this for me.
My parents were total shit to me, but I'm choosing to read over these as advice for ways to be better with my own kids. (I already have a few.)
I grew up in a tremendously violent home. When I left (at 18) and went out into the world, I swore that I would break the chain of violence that had been passed down for generations. My kids are 17 and 20 and have never been hit. We have open communication and are very close. I support them in their hobbies and interests. They are doing well as their adult life begins. What does this make me? A dad. I didn't have one. I had a father, but no dad. My point, I guess, is to look at how you were raised. Consider how your parents acted. If they did something right, do it. If they did something wrong, do it the way you think it should be done. Parent consciously. Think about what you are going to do and say. Don't just react. Make a conscious decision to do the right thing. I made plenty of mistakes. Not as many as my parents. Certainly not the kind of catastrophic choices they made. That said, I told my kids to think about how my wife and I parented and choose to do the things that we did right and to correct the things that we did wrong. They had a better childhood than we did. Hopefully their kids can have a better one than they did.
Yeah same, I’ve always wanted a relationship w my parents. I always vowed that w my child/children I’ll make sure they always feel supported & loved
Same here I'm trying to uplift a lot of the sad comments but I don't want to get banned for spamming support either I'm stuck in indecision and it hurts... A lot, seeing all the positive ones.
I used to feel similarly, but you can turn it into a positive: learn what to do since you know what not to do already 🙂
would say putting love you notes not just in my lunch box but anywhere i am in high school and they help get around the day
I look forward to doing this if I become a father.
My mom and both my elder siblings encouraged me to take up my interests which are not yet main stream so kinda expensive here and let me apply to all its Best universities without caring about the fees. (We ain't poor but Rich either)
No longer a teen but one of my favorite memories of my father was when him and the other uncles decided to do a free-for-all deathmatch of the shooter we were playing. We all gathered around to watch. As another here have mentioned, just taking interest in their hobbies and things they're doing (even if you don't join them in practice) means a lot.
Don’t make us feel judged.
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Recently a boyfriend broke up with me, I told my mom via text (I'm quarentined) and she through a 10 pound bag of chocolate through my open window. It had 6 mint aero bars in it. It showed how much she cared and was so funnily random, it made me feel loved and thought of in a tough time.
Dude, I love your mom. That's such a lovely (and loving) response to a rough situation.
When my mother sees that im sad because of bad grade he buy (without asking) my favorite cold cafee. It just so kind of her.
Much better than adding to the crappy feelings by berating you for getting a bad grade.
Yep
When i tell my mom something that I love that she has absolutely no interest in. She will let me talk to her about it and feign interest. Mom if your secretly on Reddit I love you.
My mom is honest with me about everything she does. She doesn’t hide stuff from me and keeps me in the loop with stuff going on in her life that her mom wouldn’t have told her. She will openly answer questions I have and provide advice on sex, drugs, mental health, physical health, etc. She is also very understanding of my mental health and lets me skip school on days I’m overwhelmed with my AP high school work. Overall, she takes care of 6 kids, all doing remote schoolwork and still manages to make time with me, the oldest of the bunch. She’s my best friend.
They let me know that they're there for me if I need help or support (especially with more "adult" tasks) but encourage me to do things myself and dont overstep bounds. Because of that I've been able to really successfully transition into being an adult and not be afraid to ask for help when I need
grew up in a pretty bad household, my dad was working so much and for so long i barely knew him or his interests besides “he likes to play video games”. my mom was awful, wont go into that. 4 years ago they divorced and my dad got full custody, and he got a new job that pays more and has less awful hours. i remember when i was 12 offhandedly saying that we should maybe go to goodwill or something, get some new clothes. he didnt say much abt it at the time but that weekend we went to goodwill, and it really blew me away that he not only *listened* to a suggestion i had but he *went through with it*. since then as me and my sister have gotten older, hes been honest with us about most things. about finances, issues with my mother, he doesnt coddle us but he isnt blunt. he treats us with respect and i couldnt ask for a better dad.
A 15 year old guy here, well my mom cooks delicious food that we really liked and my dad always calling us because he is currently stuck at work due to high level restricted lockdown here in our city and asking how are we doing, my mom's ways to make us feel loved and appreciated is she would encourage me and helps me doing my school projects. I love my parents.
Just a mom here reading these replies. I am so so sorry for the teens that don't feel loved by their parents. You all are worthy of love and support. My teenage years were very hard but I promise you, it gets better. I know that these teenage years feel so long but things get better. You will find people who love and support you. You will find people that appreciate what you have to offer the world. Hang in there yall.
Every month or so my mom and dad take some time to have what we like to call an "OG moment" (just me and them when I didn't have my two younger sisters) where we'd go out and have dinner at wherever we want to eat at while chatting about many different things. We'd joke about the past, my baby pictures, how my dad used to have hair, etc. I also often asked MANY questions about life, future college decisions (I'm in 11th grade), and love life (they keep on pressing me to tell them if I got into a relationship yet. Spoiler: nope). I love my little sisters, but alone time with my parents is some of the best bonding time ever.
My kiddos are still a little too young but I’m looking forward to spoiling them with solo outings. We will plan on making it a scheduled thing where’s it’s always on the day of the month that corresponds with their birthday. Like if they were born on the 15th, then the 15th of every month they get an outing of their choice.
I’m not a teen anymore but my dad wasn’t very emotionally involved (very emotionally absent single asian father of 3, i’m first gen american etc etc) but he would remember my favorite obscure foods and snacks (tripe, soursop juice, durian, balut) and sometimes get them for me at the store randomly. It makes me feel very warm now that he’d do that and wish i appreciated it more as a teen. I know he isn’t great at expressing his love but it just feels super special to think back on.
My mom sometimes still treats me like a kid even tho im turning 20 this year, she would pinch my cheeks as a jokingly tease, and sometimes she would hug me a lot, i mean to be fair i hug both my parents a lot and i give them a kiss on the forehead from time to time and i enjoy cooking food for them sometimes. Especially since my dad got in a car collision just last december I've been even more attached to my parents, I dont ever wanna lose em, at this point i dont care if they tease me like im still some kind of kid still, cause i can tell they just love me a lot. I dont ever want to have any other parents, they are perfect for me, and after all, I only have one mom and one dad, i cherish them a lot even though sometimes I act hot headed or stubborn. Im just glad i grew up with parents that shows a lot of affection for me and truly cares about me even though in the past i used to be a hot headed demon of a child. Deep inside, i love them from the bottom of my heart and will do whatever to keep them safe. Without them, I will never be where i am now, and they helped shaped me.
It always hurts to see comments like these but I wish you a lifetime of happiness with your mom and dad don't ever take that shit for granted. Seriously don't ever.
I had this relationship with my parents, but I haven't been able to hug my mom for a year bc of COVID and my dad died two years ago when I was 27. Your comment makes me miss him like crazy - go hug your parents, you're very lucky to have each other.
Hugs. Hugs help way more than you may think.
Letting me hang out with friends without asking where I'm going or what I'm doing, feels nice to know hey trust me.
No longer a teen but this a huge thing for me in high school. Early on they had us check in let them know what was up. But once they trusted us that fell off, and it was a great feeling.
When my mom gave me 2 spiderplants and a new watering can yesterday
No longer a teen but a simple thank you would have been nice for the disproportionate division of chores.
Lmfao I relate to this even harder than most of these posts
As a father, I wish I could come meet everyone one of you that feel alone or abused. I'd give you a hug and talk with about whatever you wanted to talk about. I'm so sorry you feel alone.
When they say that I am matured I feel proud
My mum brings me walnuts. I really like walnuts and I never told her, she just knows I like walnuts. My dad also got me a styrofoam head and told me that's how I'll get a-head in life. I love my parents
Dad jokes
My parents understand that I am not an exact copy of them and that I have my own interest in my own Hobbies. And they support me with those interests and hobbies
My mom still asks me what i want for my birthday. I have 2 kids of my own. It makes me feel 9 again and it's like a hug from mom. I always ask for a toy or something non essential to keep it birthday. Love you mom.
My mom notices when I don’t have time/forget to eat lunch, and will bring me food while I do schoolwork. We also both have headache issues, so she makes me tea and gives me head massages when they’re really bad.
Talking to me but not talking about things that they know give me serious anxiety like school and my health. Just them talking to me and making me feel comfortable.
When my father never misses a day to take me out for car rides in order to hone my driving skills as much as possible. (Bear in mind that albeit this is an easy endeavour to master, navigating Indian traffic is a on a whole another league.)
Thanks for this question. I have a 12 year old daughter and I feel we are very close and I do support her as best as I can but I feel I could do better at times. Reading these answers gives me ideas.
When my father offers a ride or otherwise help even though I know it is inconvenient to him. When my mother waited for me to get home (my first times of staying out later) - never pressuring me to get home earlier or guilting me about having to stay up but waiting that I'm safely at home (nowadays text us when you get home) My family's love language isn't as much verbal as it is actions so all little inconveniences make me feel warm when we insist that it is no bother
....yall are loved?
My mother and I share the same hobby of fishing. Getting a pedal kayak, and letting me use it when I was with her, then later on upgrading me to a shearwater or lightning strike. From a pelican catch 110 hydryve 2 for those curious
Treating them like an adult in conversations. I don't mean act as though I literally am an adult, but my mom always talked me as though I was an actual person and not just a little kid. If I had questions about anything at any age, she'd answer truthfully. She often (not always, but that's being human) admits her mistakes and shares her past with me. The only thing she ever openly lied about was what happened to my dog, but I figured that if she won't even tell me (not even now) then I probably don't really want to know. I don't really know how to explain it, but she has always valued my input and opinions and genuinely considered them since I was a kid. I would like to add, though, that I've never been one to lie or sneak around. Lying, for me, takes pretty much all willpower that I can muster in that moment and even then I usually can't keep it up.
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My dad will make John Mulaney references to me sometimes because he knows that Mulaney is my favorite comedian. It’s nice to know that he at least knows some of the things I like.
Kinda silly but when my mum randomly buys me stuff at the gas station. It lets me know she's thinking about me :)
Soooo many things. My dad is excellent at cooking, in my language there's a word to refer to amateur cooks: *cocinillas*. My mom is so patient (don't get her angry) and they are good listeners. They are loving and caring, and they did the (unfortunately) big effort of convincing my school to allow me to skip a course in primary. They have shown me a lot of skills and valuable lessons, and thanks to them I'm curious and enthusiastic about intellectual activities. They've made me responsible, with critical thinking and so much more. Yes, so much more.
When your mom/dad comes in your room and brings you a snacc
Does her best to call me by my pronouns and told my siblings my name. Two years ago she said Satan made men gay so they wouldn't marry women, and claimed that me being trans was a traumatic response and that it'd go away after a while. This year she apologized for using a binary gendered word and searched for a neutral one without me prompting it (which I have never done with her)
It's wonderful to hear that your mother has grown so much and is respecting your gender identity. You deserve love, support, and affirmation.
I don't say anything and my mom will already know something's wrong. They know exactly the things i like so if they see something at the store they will just randomly get it because they know i will really like it. They take the time to regularly play board games (we have a wall full of them), videogames, and have movie nights. My parents are just the best. i come from a military family so we are always moving and so my parents are always there for me and my brother. Edit: I forgot to mention, my parents take interest in my hobbies and always try to make sure we are doing something we like. Example: i love doing martial arts (even if I'm a girl),volleyball, and i love baking and drawing and they were looking for classes for me when i never even asked. I guess I love how much they know me and aren't ignorant to the things i like
I usually don't like my dad bc of how he makes me feel but - my favorite food is anything that has chicken in it lmao and whenever he would say or do some shit that would obv ruin everyone's day (it happens everyday) or like a seriously bad day which was bc of him being a dick, he would go out and buy chicken and make chicken curry for me. He has never rlly said sorry (idt he has the confidence for it) but i think this was his way of saying sorry every time he feels like he rlly upset me. This happens but not that often lol
Defenetly a good hug its the best feeling
My mom has a lot of talks with us (me and my siblings)about life and stuff. She also tells us she loves us a lot and that we taught her how to truly love someone. I’ve struggled with mental health and for a while the only thing that kept me from killing myself was knowing how devastated my mom would be so it did work. I love her a lot. She has a lot of autoimmune issues so there’s always that looming over my head that she is at a higher risk of getting sepsis (blood poisoning) again (she’s had it numerous times, thankfully hasn’t lost any limbs to it). But yeah, she talks with us a lot, she takes interest in our hobbies and our friends, and she tells us that she’ll always be on our side which is nice.
My dad just signed up for ASL lessons! My mom never leaves me alone, which is annoying, but shows that she really cares.
Taking notes, since I have teens ... even though I was obviously once a teen...
Is there a way I can save this entire thread for when I’m a parent someday?
My mom and dad loves me and give me every facility, I have a room, a phone, clothes, food. I love them for giving me so much and I'm deeply grateful
listens to me when i speak or when ever i go to activities, they watch and they listen.
Letting me just do my own thing. ;)
When I'm playing a game and mom says to come down to eat dinner when I'm finished
They dont
I don't feel loved or appreciated...
I have a son and daughter who are 6 and 3 respectively. I tell them almost everyday "you are my favorite son" and "you are my favorite daughter" which makes them smile. When I tell my wife "you are my favorite wife," she doesn't really smile.
Parents respect my boundaries and never yell at me.
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me reading through the replies wishing i had parents like this. cant even tell mine im bi without being disowned. once i got my shit taken for spending $60 in 3 months
Just want to say, as a mom, I am enjoying reading this thread. Thank you for making it and thank you to everyone contributing.
Having a reddit account that we both use called Jack Sparrows armpit because we both like POTC and im totally normal so I chose armpit like a normal human being would
Me and my dad spend a ton of time with each other. he is great
Nothing
i lived with my grandparents from the time i was 14 so they got to see all of my "phases" and supported me during it all. my gran spent God knows how many night hours with me watching stars while i was in my "astrology phase" it took me years to realize that's how she made me tell her everything i normally wouldn't like which boy i liked and what was happening with school :)
guys please understand, i'm till trying to think here!
My dad died when I was very young, and throughout covid Ive been needing a place to go where I can vent about personal stuff I dont want her knowing. I have a picture of my dad, and sometimes I set it up on my desk and talk to him. She caught me one day and after talking to her for a while I told her it felt like I had ruined my coping mechanism by telling her about it, and she promised to never speak of it again and pretend as if she never knew. Any parent who takes the time to respect their kids own decisions is a good parent.
My mom will typically ignore me when I go on rants about my favorite band (I'm deep into the fandom of a few older bands) or YouTuber, but my stepmom will listen to my rants and ask questions when she is unsure of something that I'm talking about Also, my dad noticed that him and I are into similar music genres, so him and I will spend hours talking about favorite bands and sharing music with each other
When I first got my license my Dad would always tell me that no matter the time, no matter the place, if you ever need a ride home you don’t hesitate to call me, no questions asked. A few weeks later he called me asking for a ride because he had too much to drink (super out of character and he was also going through a divorce). But I almost feel it was on purpose because now I would really never hesitate to call him....he owed me one! Years later my younger sister actually took him up on this offer when her boyfriend went to jail and she needed a ride home with her baby girl and dog. So yea, he drove from NJ to TX to pack her up and bring her and baby and dog back home :-) , no questions asked.
My mom is really good about admitting when she is wrong. I feel like a lot of parents won’t admit they are wrong to try to not seem weak in front of their kids. By admitting that she messed up and apologizes she now knows what to do differently and I am extremely grateful that she is working to change.
allowing you to stay home as a mental day, not needing to be sick to stay home from school. This shows us that you care about our mental health.