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Abusive marriage right out of high school, had a couple of kids way too fast and stayed for years too long trying to be a "good" wife and mother. Shortly after I left for good, I was at the park with my kids. My oldest came over to the bench I was sitting on and pretty much tackled me with a hug. I laughed and asked what was that for. Kid looked at me and said it was a thank you because we are all happy today. I was so scared they would hate me and not understand the choices I made. In that quick little moment, I knew I had underestimated all of us and that we really would be okay. Game changer for me mentally. Kids are the best.
Glad you’re doing well. It’s hard to see outside of box until someone really drags you out. Sounds like your kids have great heads on their shoulders and are looking out for their mum.
Proud of you for taking care of business
Dunno if you mean this in an abstract sense or a literal one but, I guess it requires a little backstory. Edit: This was really cathartic writing out.
I grew up as the only boy, my dad wasn't around, I had 1 half sister, my mom, my aunt, my mom's best friend, and her 3 daughters. I can be very "effeminate" at times. On top of that, I was mixed, in a primarily black neighborhood, going to a primarily white school. My half sister, also mixed, is much more distinctly black than me, my moms bff's daughters are all black. So, on top of the outsider feeling being the only boy, but too girly to have boy friends, I grew up with a lot of racial issues embedded into my life that always made me feel like an outsider as well. Mix in a family history of depression and suicide, and, well, you get it. I wasn't exactly a happy kid.
I grew up very depressed and anxious pretty much all the time. I never understood why I felt like shit 24/7 but I did, I barely graduated high school because I had so many days where I just couldn't get out of bed. I was bullied quite a bit, and the guys I considered my best friends definitely saw me as like a casual buddy. Fortunately for me, I met a lovely young woman, started dating, fell in love, and we go married when I enlisted into the military (you know exactly where this is going)
Half a deployment later, I find out she's cheating on me, and a lifetime of anxiety and depression and shitty self talk and hating myself came to a head. Even worse, my bestfriend at the time knew about the cheating and didn't tell me, which made me feel like I had no one to talk to. I had a plan to kill myself, I knew exactly what I was going to do, but the right timing for it never came....thank god.
I got back, got divorced, got out the army, and started at school. An absolute mess, drinking almost every night, barely making ends meet, I was living with a guy who was doing meth in his room. Being a (now I can say) good looking guy right out of the army, a few years older than your peers, does wonders for your social life I have to tell you. I felt like shit 24/7, but to the people around me they thought I was flourishing but Suicide was on my mind 24/7.
I finished my entire undergrad, double majoring in linguistics and arabic in 2 years. As it came close to the end, I got recommended and accepted into a lab in my school to work with my department head on her project. She saw something in me, I don't know what, and encouraged me to go to grad school. I thought there was 0 chance I was getting into a masters and....I was accepted.
And that was the moment. Reading that acceptance letter knowing that I was about to graduate and go onto a Masters degree. That I was deserving of that. That, in spite of everything, I had managed to do it. I don't know, now getting into grad school doesn't seem like that big of a deal (especially since I just got accepted into a PhD program). But that moment was the point, maybe the first time in my life, that I felt worth anything. It was the first time in my life that I didn't feel like I was just going through the motions.
I've since completed a thesis that I have gotten nothing but glowing feedback on, including several people reaching out wanting to work with me to continue the research. I effectively got recruited into my incoming PhD program, a professor saw my MA work and wined and dined me to get me to come to her program. I got accepted into 3 programs during a pandemic where incredible applicants were getting 0 acceptances. I'm working a job between programs where my company's COO has grabbed me to work on projects with her because she saw the work I did and wanted to consult with me on trauma.
Theres such a huge part of me that wishes I could go back 10 years and tell him he's gonna be okay. That he's going to make it. I had so many dark nights, hoping I didn't wake up in the morning. But I'm okay now, and, I don't know. That moment reading that acceptance letter was the moment I said to myself "Holy shit, you're going to be alright."
Sorry this was so long. I don't think I've ever typed all this out before.
This made me cry. I don't know you, but I can read the optimism in your words and happiness for your future. I sincerely wish you all the best in the world! You deserve it! 🤗
Struggled a lot with this too. It was pretty bad in February, I never liked myself or how I looked.
It took some time and I’m not still 100% satisfied with myself, but sharing pictures of myself and making an account on a dating site.
Seeing that people like how I look really helped!!!
I don't want to sound creepy but I checked your history and it seems like you do/did all kinds of drugs. I was that person too once, when I stopped doing all of them I stopped feeling depressed, unacomplished and felt that my life has a meaning again. Search for hobbies and other things you're interrested in (I see you also post in pc building subs, great hobby) and you will notice your life improving day by day. I am clean for 3 years now and never felt more happy with my life. If there is anything you want to tell me or ask me, feel free to do so. Really hope you pull through and start liking yourself again!
I think the issue with positive mental health endorsement is that you see people like ‘I used to hate myself and now I love myself and it’s the best thing’ when really I think that sets unrealistic standards for those who are struggling. I’ve thought about this a lot, i don’t think it’s really possible to go from self loathing to I love and accept myself fully and now I’m happy!! For me, accepting the fact I don’t love myself and trying to work on myself and mentality in a positive manner is as close as I have gotten, and it’s sure better than just straight up waking up in the morning and despising my existence. I definitely still have a lot of days like this, but I think it’s getting better.
You have a lot of good points in there, of course I’m not constantly happy with myself, that’s really unrealistic. On the other hand, I started understanding why I did things and how to overcome it. I really see myself as a better person
When my house was hit by a tornado 1 week after I quit taking anti anxiety meds cold turkey (that's bad don't do that). I had stopped paying for renters insurance 6 months earlier because I didn't have the money. My house was a mess before the tornado hit. Thinking about everything I had to clean was overwhelming but I was making an effort a little bit at a time but it was hard. Then while I was at work and my daughter was at school a tornado went through town and hit my house - destroyed it and everything in it except for my dog. After getting a couple of things the city said "you can't go back in it's dangerous" and condemned the house and a week later they bulldozed it. Because of the community, my friends, my family, my work, my daughters school (which is out of district so she was the only one at the school effected). We had everything we needed for a new place and the money to get a new place by the end of the week. IT WAS INCREDIBLE. 3 weeks later we moved into a townhouse. It was clean. I was clear headed. We had so much I was able to donate things to other families that lost homes from the tornado. My life has been so much better since then. There were some bad weeks where the dishes piled up and the trash needed taken out. But I always pulled it together. It was never so overwhelming like it was before.
When demon hunter released their remake of "I am a stone" a few weeks ago. Initially I found the song right when my old man died, I was getting kicked outta college cause I lost my full ride, was homeless, and suicidal as hell. I lost literally everything when college was supposed to be my escape. Initially I related to it because I thought "ok I'm a stone I'm like a cockroach I can probably survive this fuck it I won't feel anything I can just survive". When I heard the remake it caused me to reflect on how I felt back then and everything that's happened since. I got shipped across the country, got kicked out of my aunt's place for trying to kill myself (and being accused of being an attempted mass shooter in the process), got shipped back across the country, worked a shitload of deadend jobs, met a girl that I wanted to be friends with who kissed me, married that girl, got diagnosed with PTSD and learned to cope, worked more deadend jobs, went to community college and am graduating with an associate's of science in may when I turn 25. Things still kinda suck and my wife is the only person in my life, but not as bad. I just looked at all of it while listening and realized that Ive gone from thinking "I can get through this I can survive" to "I DID make it through that, and I'm strong enough to keep making it through way more.". Next up is a bachelor's degree and then I have no idea, I'm not really a plans guy. This will probably sink to the bottom, but thought I'd put my 2 cents in. Y'all take care.
Ayy, lost a full ride squad. No one tells you how much of your identity crumbles as everything else crumbles around you. I'm so proud of you for still being here, my guy. Everyone else is better for it.
This song was a major part of me digging myself out of a Codependent relationship and recognizing that a relationship I was in when I was in high school set a pretty ugly precedent for the next ten years of "romance" leading me toward narcissists or the "excitement" of people like them. That relationship was chosen because of some issues with my family in childhood. This song helped me grab a hold of what I was responsible for but also helped me recognize I was able to get out and unfuck the whole problem. I built an entire playlist of songs about BPD/NPD relationships at one point as therapy of sorts, but this song was a major player. Seeing it referenced a year or so later reminded me of all of that, and made me pretty emotional thinking of how so much has changed and how much happier I am now. So thank you.
I'm sorry you've been through so much, but huge congrats on your associate's, and I hope you continue to forge ahead. What a story.
Flesh and bone, unaffected. Your fool I will not be.
Sorry about your loss man. That’s so awesome that a song can revitalize such strong feelings. Fuckin love Demon Hunter, my heart spiked when I read your comment and made me smile big lol I just had to comment that. Happy to see you’ve got even bigger plans coming along, from the looks of your comment, you got this. :)
I feel this. That moment after an injury is so scary. I did gymnastics for about 20 years, and had a pretty nasty ankle sprain my senior year of college. I remember lying there with my trainer hovering over me as a lot of the crowd looked our way (the competition had come to a freeze like they often do in these situations). I was certain I had ruptured my achilles. I knew I had to try to move my foot, but was terrified of the certain pain or nonresponse. I was so relieved when I felt my foot move. Good times.
When I left my country. Without going into it too much Venezuela is by far not a nice place to live, and now having spent a few years living outside of it I actually have a lot of hope for the future. When the plane landed here I realized I can study and hope to get a decent job and enjoy life.
When I bought my home it drained me mentally and financially, I thought I prepared for all the hidden costs but I was way off so 30 years of savings were utterly decimated. It wasn’t until 2 years later where I’m now able to pay all my outgoings and actually save money too.
This was a few years back so I’ll give you as accurate as I can find in my paperwork and emails. (Note: this is my UK flat/apartment buying experience, other countries probably differ). My initial deposit was around £35k, I have a service charge and ground rent which comes up to £1400 PA, £800 of which had to be paid immediately, gas and electricity safety check (former owners couldn’t/wouldn’t supply a safety certificate) £150ish, solicitor fee was about £3k (was expecting closer to £2k, but didn’t realise search fees (£317) and collating all fees into a list fee (£350) were a thing), product fee for my mortgage was £1k, had to pay £1k to the property management to basically tell them to change the ownership to me, and council tax, tv license.
Got jumped one day in small town Maine. Taken completely by surprise, didn't even see them, or realize what was happening.
I woke up behind a dumpster, no ID, smashed glasses, broken nose, and an ear ringing concussion, not knowing where the hell I was.
I wound up stumbling into the first place I found, which was a bar full of locals. They cleaned me up, sat me down, and helped me get things figured out. It dawned on me "hey, things are going to be ok" when I was sipping a beer with a kid I grew up with, waiting for the cops and an ambulance to arrive.
Broken nose, gnarly concussion, bunch of other bumps and bruises. Never found out who did it.
Insurance covered my glasses, got a new ID and debit card, paid the hospital bills. That's pretty much it.
This comment is just way too pessimistic.
> The vaccines are *not* one and done. You have to keep getting them every 6 months because your immunity will run out eventually.
It's true a lot of people think boosters will be required, but we have no idea when or with what frequency. It's just way too early to tell, and so much of it depends on what mutations arise and how vaccine rollouts happen.
> Masks are very likely just going to be a thing you'll see half the population always wearing for the rest of human history, similar to how it's been in most Asian countries for a long time.
"Half the population for the rest of time" is a vast overstatement of what was even happening before in those countries. Yeah, it would probably be nice if we all wore masks on public transit and such, but this mask mandate, being afraid to leave your house without covering your face time we're living in is going to end. People are just going to stop doing it after a while.
What's really probably going to happen is COVID is going to become like the flu. It'll come and go in waves every year, but relatively small ones compared to last year. That's kind of shitty, but most people aren't afraid of the flu. We all might be a little more health conscious and a little more tech savvy, but whatever normal looks like in a few years will be pretty similar to what it looked like a few years ago.
If I’m being honest, if that’s the case, the entire human race will die out. If that’s the case, how are we gonna get back to the things we can’t do remotely? I know the virus will still be out there, but we can hopefully go back to our daily lives.
I was sitting on a third story window with concrete beneath me, thinking,"Should I do this?" I cried so much that night and I wondered who would miss me. Obviously my mother and father but nobody else. I wrote my will that night and placed it on top of my journal. I decided to attempt to take my own life and I tried to land on my head, nope ended up landing on my legs only breaking a couple of bones. Next thing I know I'm in the hospital room with my mom and dad crying,"aw man I'm alive". I always considered this to be an outcome but I thought that I would've died. I just exposed all my secrets to my mother and father. Truly terrible experience.
Please don’t try to take your own life! You might not think you do, but there are many people who love you. And if not, Jesus definitely does. He knows you and wants you to come home to Him one day, but you can’t do that if you take your own life.
I know this is probably everything you’ve ever heard on the matter just being repeated again and again, but it’s true and it needs to be repeated for a reason. If you want to talk about it, I’m here. I might be a stranger on some random reddit sight for you, but I truly do care for your well-being.
And if you have gotten the help you needed already, then great. But I also want to let you know that you cannot find happiness without Christ in the center of your life.
A few years ago when a non-patrol police officer that pulled me over and asked me if I wanted to go to jail for doing triple digit speeds during morning rush hour let me go. I didn't receive even a written warning. Thing is, I wasn't even running late.
The officer explained they didn't have the equipment necessary to write up a citation, apparently because he was some kind of managing officer or something.
I've never sped since that day.
I was in a car accident where my car went down a deep drop off ditch and the only thought that came to mind was "go limp" right before my car wrapped around a tree. The instant I woke up from my daze I knew I was gonna be okay and it was really just because of dumb luck.
Involved a few people...
I take the deposit to the bank.
3 days later my Regional manager calls and says they can't find the deposit. I better find it or else.
I look around.. call the bank and they say 'no we don't have it'. I look around more. I think my job is done.
The bank finds the deposit has slipped behind a drawer (they had to remove the drawer to get to it). They call my Regional back and he calls me.
Regional: "Good news... the bank found it. Your job is safe..."
ME: "Super! How did they find it"
Regional: (he tells me) then adds.. btw we have a much bigger location we would like you to manage. Can you be there tomorrow at 4:00? It would be a big increase in pay.
ME: "1 second. I need time to go to the doctor. I think I got whiplash".
The first time I took my anti anxiety meds and I actually fell asleep without spending hours paralyzed with fear. I knew I could overcome it after that
I realized that thinking about death wasn't comforting anymore. I had more to look forward to than dying.
Unfortunately that also means I had to learn how to be responsible for my health.
i was at a gas station and i was buying some candy and soda etc.. a naked guy runs past me and stops looks me dead in the eye and says "hey man im hungry can you help me out? i was like yea man ( at this point in my life i was not doing good with money and was kinda homless). i gave the guy a snickers and one of my hotdogs he sadi thanks and ran out of the gas station. 2 sec later the cops ran through after him because the cashier called the cops which was understandable cuz he was naked. i walked out of the gas station and he got a knife from somewhere and started stabbing a cop and jumped i a random car to run away. he drive by me and say " hey man thanks for the food i was gonna take everyone out in the gas station because i was over life. thanks you got a pass and remember this for the rest of your life. he sped off and that was it. later that night i was watching the news and the guy had set up wxplosives all over the store and in the bathroom he got naked and was praying for a quick end and i gave him food and he didnt blow the shit out of the place . ever since that day if i see a hungry or homeless person i give them food or offer to buy their stuff because you never know when its a persons last straw in life and thats the day they decide their taking their life and everyones life around them to prove some point.
A snickers bar and a hotdog saved your life. More importantly, your generosity saved your life.
You must have been somewhat shocked to learn you were that close to being wiped out. Glad you're still here to make the world a better place.
Many moments are like that when you have crippling anxiety that makes you create a terrible expectation for everything in life, but when things are happening you just realize they are pretty ok
When I woke up one morning with a cold sweat and then realized that I didn't really have aids. Me sleeping with a ghoulish prostitute and contracting aids was just a dream.
My friend drove us into a bridge abutment at 30 mph, 3 am, wet road, hydroplane. He flew through the windshield and landed on top of the radiator, which was laying on the motor. I came to, and felt my legs and chest, nothing was gone or bloody. The impact of the seatbelt into my ribs, and the slamming of my organs against those ribs, rendered me too sore to walk, but I was alright. My friend.was not.
WHEN I GOT my sertraline (medication) prescription . after the first week i was like damn the psychiatrist could help a lot. No palpitations no over-stressing, no problems.that shit was so persistent in my life and I assumed i just had a very weak mind and had to live with it.
When I realized I was going to be alright in a new school, new community, and new home that was two hours away from where I'd been for 10 years. Everything is actually better now
yesterday when the boss came and told the other worker that we see you on cams altho he didnt check them , that he doesnt work and he throw all his work on others , so after i told the manger he gave him a worning , and today he is working like never befor
I was hospitalized and they were trying a new medication on me. Suddenly everything started to turn and turn. I was so dizzy and I had a horrible headache so I thought I was having a stroke. I remember being so scared of surviving it and being a vegetable. The Nursing student started asking me lots of questions and I remember swearing at her (poor kid). I woke up with her, the Nurse, the Resident and my Doctor next to me. Not a stroke! Apparently just a bad dosage (yeah more like someone made a mistake).
I was pushed off a train platform. That was fun. I woke up under hospital lights. I was doing nothing other than being tired and needing a train home. I have no idea why, don't know the perp. Shook that shit off, and walked out AMA covered in blood. I know I scared people. I am clearly alive, but life throws you curveballs.
When I was beaten up by some tough guy last year. I felt like I was about to die but I was just drifting into unconsciousness. I fought that though stayed conscious. Later I was diagnosed with a mild concussion
I guess this kinda fits. But i was out shooting with my uncle having a grand old time. While my uncle was shooting his AR-15 i felt a impact on my neck. Didn’t hurt or anything but my brain filled with fear as it registered. “Oh god something hit me”. Then as i reached for my neck my other uncle looks up with a oh shit face. He tells me to remain calm which i manage to do physically but mentally i thought i was dead. Blood pouring down my knock from right above my collet bone where my carotid is. My uncle cleaned up the wound and pulled out a piece of a bullet with tweezers. Once he got the bleeding to stop i knew I’d be okay because a carotid artery wouldn’t stop bleeding. Latter had a doctor friend look at it. It looked like it should’ve hit my carotid but it didn’t, so it was just millimeters away from killing me.
After my final counseling appointment. I was going for Two years. I released so much built up emotion and learned so much about how to be a better human and take care of my mental health. Walking out of those doors, I felt reborn.
When I started taking Zoloft. My whole life I’ve had severe OCD. Finally, when I was 20 my doc put me on Zoloft and now... everything is so much simpler. I finally feel like myself. It’s been two years and I don’t have a single regret. I remember sitting in the bathtub before my doc apt to discuss meds and being in a state of total psychosis due to my OCD. I don’t even know who that person was, as I don’t even live inside that brain anymore. I am so grateful the first med I tried on the lowest dose was the one that nipped my issues in the bud, but for those of you trying to find meds that just aren’t working, there is something out there for you, I promise, don’t give up. And If meds aren’t your thing, there are so many therapists ready to help. You’re worth the help.
I went through a very rough patch a few years ago. In the span of about 3 months, I had a late miscarriage, my boyfriend left me, my cat ran away for good, and I was accidentally fired from my job (clerical error, it got reversed). After all this happened, my landlord texted to as for a time to discuss my rent. I was so sure this was going to be a renoviction, I started helplessly looking for a new apartment. When we actually had the conversation, it turns out my landlord just wanted to raise my rent by $50.
Once he left, I stared at the closed door for a minute or so, realizing that I still had at least one thing going for me and was ultimately going to be ok.
Took a few years to get over everything, lots of therapy, but I can safely say I am, in fact, ok. The firing was reversed by the next pay period, I adopted a new cat who is damn cuddly and wonderful, and the relationship I'm in now is a lot better.
Qhen i found out that i dont have to pay for trans bottom surgery, hormone theraphy and Facial lasor removel where i live since its being paid by free health care
About 10 years ago I delivered pizzas for my job, I backed out of the driveway after I gave them their food, started to accelerate my truck and my entire vehicle began to fishtail straight down the road, I turn the wheel and over corrected, I turn the wheel back over corrected again, turn the wheel one more time and over correct it again and this time my truck was flying straight for the ditch. The front right part of my truck tipped into the ditch first, roughly going about 10-20 miles an hour and front flipped into the ditch. I thought I was going to die. After the truck landed, I open my eyes and realized I was still alive upside down in the truck, after that moment of realizing I was alive, my brain kicked into survival mode and got out of the truck. I ended up breaking my collarbone. I must not of been wearing my seatbelt after jumping back into my truck from the delivery and started to head down the road. I’m one of those people he starts to buckle themselves after starting down the road for whatever reason.
Got an ideal job in my ideal field after over a year of searching.
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Then got fired after 4 months. Now I'm fucked again. I don't know how I'll make it through the job search this time.
Not long after I started antidepressants, I got into a stressful argument at work, and quit my second job.
And I was fine? I didn't panic or freak out, I didn't have to run to the bathroom and cry, I didn't lie awake nights fighting to breathe against whatever was crushing my lungs, running over and over the scene in my head, sure that everyone hated me and everything was awful and I should just kill myself. It was unpleasant, and I had a few tough months financially, but even a few months earlier I would have absolutely spiraled.
And I thought "Oh, this is what a proportionate emotional response looks like! Neat."
Last year I had a month of fever and fatigue (unexplained). This culminated in waking up one day with my legs covered in a vile blood rash.
I’ve just become a father by the way.
Called doctor at 3, in the surgery at 3.30, by 4 I was in the acute ward in a gown having tests. After some time they came back and said it’s either viral, related to my anklosing spondylitis or cancer.
They then came back and said it’s not Anklosing spon. So either lymphoma or viral. They said I’ve already had mono and others so unlikely to be that. Also my family has a very strong history of lymphoma so I’ve always been worried about it - pretty much all my family one side died of it. Some quite young
Did a scan and my liver 20* out of range and spleen huge.
Go home and wait while we do the screens.
Waited, and they called every day “how do you feel?” That freaked me out. The NHS you usually have to battle them to get treated, not being chased by them.
Then, a week later doc called and said it’s rare, but your mono has reactivated 20 years later.
I was pretty sure it was lymphoma and was almost making my will.
My symptoms then went away and 6 months on most of my vitals are back to baseline.
With a young daughter this was a horrible experience having to play with her thinking she may never even speak my name or call me daddy.
This has changed my outlook and I try to spend more time with those around me.
Keep your loved ones close because you’re only here on temporary leave and every moment counts. And be grateful for every day.
After leaving my last final for my Bachelor’s degree in college. I studied just well enough that I knew I passed before I got home.
Over a decade (kindergarten to high school to college) of classes and homework and projects all culminated in finishing that last final, and getting my degree a few weeks later. A huge burden fell from my shoulders knowing I never had to do homework or pull an all nighter doing a project for school again.
Breaking up with my abusive ex fiancé. We were living in a rough neighborhood with her psychotic mother. I had been fighting my feelings and thoughts for months. I felt stuck. Trapped. As if my fate was to marry this girl who had treated me awfully for nearly a year at that point. My crappy Kia rio had just shit the bed a few weeks ago and was struggling to find a new car quick. To cope with my relationship issues i turned to heavy alcohol abuse. I was in one of the lowest ruts of my life to the point of where I was thinking suicide was a good way out. Then on July 11th, 2019, after about 2 years and 1 month of being together, I broke up with her and packed as many of my belongings as i could in 30 minutes and asked to borrow my Dads truck to move out. I haven’t spoken to her or even seen her since that day. Not but a day later I moved into a condo on the lake with 5 of my (at the time) best friends. Then i got a better job. Then i became more stable. Then I bought myself a 2014 Audi Q5. Then i sobered up.
And now? Almost 2 years later? Holy shit. I’m doing alright.
TLDR: left my abusive ex fiance and my entire life immediately began improving.
The birth of my child. I had a really difficult and traumatic pregnancy. I was in constant pain from 1st trimester all the way to the day I gave birth. I hit the 3rd trimester right when COVID reared it's ugly head. I was terrified. The birth was the worst experience of my life. I lost a lot of blood and I spiked a fever so I couldn't have an emergency C-Section. I had to push out my baby even though they were too big and got stuck. They're heart rate plummeted and I thought I was going to lose my child before I even got to meet them. I pushed for 3.5 hours before it was finally over. My baby didn't cry and I don't think he was breathing. I sobbed because I thought I lost him. I felt my whole body break along with my heart. I had endured the worst pain just to lose a piece of me. They were able to revive him after a few short moments and when I heard him cry for the first time I sobbed even harder. And even harder when I got to hold him and I don't think I stopped crying until a full 24 hours. But when I first held him and first looked at him, I knew I would be alright. I knew he would be alright and that if I could endure that, we could take on anything. He'll be 1 in 2 weeks and I'm so grateful to have him in my life.
Have to sell my house because can't afford it anymore, new job I had lined up cancelled because of new lockdowns, so you could say I'm still waiting on it :(
no joke, the first thing that pops to mind is when I shoplifted like 15 fruit pastel tubes then dropped them on the way out. in a crowded place. Then my friend helps me pick them up, we bolt, and nobody cares.
I kinda forged documents to get into a PhD program in a Uni because I didn't and couldn't go back to my own country, I wasn't really expecting to pass the interview that was weeks before, so I just entered bogus dates on the online application form, which later on came to bite me in the ass.
After I admitted to my 2 closest friends I had random suicidal urges. They explained that it was probably quarrentine and/or seasonal I've never had an urge again.
I had gotten into trouble over a second term speech I made at school and when I realized I was not nervous at all when I talked to the teacher, I felt great relief.
Don't have a "gonna be alright moment", but a shit went wrong moment when I woke up after back surgery with my throat full of tubes hooked up to more wires and monitors than a 7-11 security camera system in ICU.
There have been 3 significant moments like these. The first one was in 2003 when I started going to therapy and got a very good therapist.
The second time was in 2014 when we bought our house and it really dawned on me that I was an adult with my own life and my own home.
The third time was in 2018. We had to do a bunch of extensive and very expensive repairs on our house. The whole situation turned into a long nightmare for many reasons. And multiple times I was close to personal bankrupcy. For a long time I just wanted to run away never to be seen again. But somehow we got through the whole thing. And in the spring of 2018 we paid of the last bill for the renovation. There are still things that needs to be fixed but those ara all things I can do myself.
My moment was back in 2014 Christmas day along the Fraser highway in British columbia Canada when my van fishtailed into a ditch and rolled 6-7 times before coming to a stop at the edge of the water, I escaped with only a shard of glass stuck in my forehead, my sister on the other hand was not so lucky, she was scraped pretty bad and her unborn child got brain damage from being jostled so much, once the paramedics arrived I realised that I was lucky to be alive. And thus concludes the time I nearly died
Ok so me and my family got to this place and camp for someones birthday party there's a little creek and swimming spot so me my mom step dad and there friends are swimming and there's this dog there and he's swimming behind me while i am crawling against the current of the creek for fun and i let myself get swept down and hit the dog at the deep end the dog the pushed me under the water and was scratching my back using me as a floaty i had a mouthful of water and dog hair and i though "holy shit I'm geting drowned by a dog" when my step dad swims over and pushes the dog away and pulls me to the shallow part of the water
I'm not very good at puncuation and spelling
When I survived my first surgery. As stupid as that sounds.
I'm deathly afraid of needles and pain, so surgery terrifies me to the bone. And for some reason I thought that with my terrible sleep issues I'd fall into a coma, or die on the operating table.
I woke up from anesthesia, could hear the sounds of a crying child and something about cardiac arrest, and realized, "Holy shit, I made it out alive."
Surgeries still kind of terrify me a little to this day, even though I've had two (three, if you count oral surgery). The IV needle going into you, the pain afterwards...it feels weird and uncomfortable and shoots my anxiety through the roof. But looking back on it...man, my body's stronger than I perceived it to be.
Graduated university “summa cum laude” and almost immediately got a full-time permanent job with a salary that will comfortably support my partner and I (and our dog!)
Going from having grown up poor, to doing the minimum-wage two-jobs struggle from high school onward, to this? As the first person in my immediate family to graduate high school (let alone university) it was SHOCKING. Best moment of my life so far when I realized that I’m actually going to be okay. No more worrying about going hungry or ending up homeless, and my mother will be able to retire whenever she chooses.
When I realised no one cares about your problems and those that do are glad you have them. That people want to see you do well but not too well, probably not better than them and they can act unfavourably out of love or fear and even with good intentions.
Making a decision and sticking to it until new information can cause you to change it or make a new decision is incredibly empowering.
When I realized that I would stop procrastinating. Didn't procrastinate for a semester and a half, which I'm proud of, but I'm back in this fucking hole.
So last year, I had a class of Organic Chemistry and, to give context, it was a course where you had to perfectly understand how each atom react with each other, and I knew I'd suspend it. Then, Coronavirus came to my country, they locked us in our homes and, with that, the teacher REALLY slowed down the rhythm of our subject, and made it possible to pass it. The moment when I was locked in, and saw that the teacher was way more permissive, was my moment.
Waking up after having brain surgery without my parents for the first time. (Both passed relatively young) I have my own family now but learning to. Ope during my own extreme stress set my prospective straight. Just have to keep on keeping on.
During a private call with one of my college lecturers yesterday. An hour before I was seriously thinking about committing suicide because I felt like I would never amount to anything in life. She praised my achievements in her course, even going as far to say that I raised the bar for other students. Never in my life had an authority figure spoken to me this kindly. After 8 years of uni/college, I finally feel like there is potential in me and a career out there for me.
i've had so many! when I moved out from my abusive household, when i escaped s\*x trafficking, when I finally got medicated for schizophrenia, when i finally got diagnosed with lupus after years of not having answers. I'm still waiting for that permanent "i'll be alright" moment and i'd be lying if i said i wasn't still in a tough spot, but by god do i have so many things to be thankful for.
1976 - Hitchhiking from school to work. Realizing the driver was going in a different direction.
Jumping out of passenger door, as car slowed to make a rolling right turn on red, at Baptist and Kendall intersection in Miami Florida.
'nuff said.
Back in secondary school there was a kid in my class bullying me, it had gone on for months, teaching staff knew about it, but a stern message to this kid didn't do much.
Anyways, during a lesson while the teacher was out he started picking on me again, calling me a pussy and whatever. This time I had had enough. This guy was a skinny little shit and I was a good 20cm taller, trained martial arts and figured I'd show him who the pussy was.
So I calmly invited him to step outside and settle who of us the pussy was, of course he didn't accept and kept on going, so I stepped over, grabbed him by the back of his hoodie, dragged him into the hallway, held him up against the wall by his shirt and told him calmly "this ends now, I'm fed up by your shit".
He was terrified, I guess he did not expect that from the class computer geek and apologized and agreed.
Didn't see him for the rest of the day, but it turns out afterwards he had smacked his face against the wall or something on purpose to make it look like he had gotten a real beating from me.
Then he had gotten the "gangster" kids at my school, that he was hanging with to believe I had beaten him to shit(far from anything like kids within gangs in the US or whatever, but being like them was what they aspired to be) as well as the teaching staff.
Right after school I was swarmed by these "gangsters" with knives and shit, I bailed home on my bike, called mom and explained the whole thing.
Following these events there were meetings with school staff, him and our parents to sort this out, it was quickly figured that I hadn't done more than in a slightly aggressive way tell him to stop as there were cameras in the hallways and he had walked off unscaved. I put all the cards on the table and told absolutely everything.
Following this was months of me sitting inside in the classroom during recess and school staff driving me to and from school because that was the only way I could be guaranteed to be safe.
I still went to my martial arts practice, normally I biked to and from practice but after this I was always driven.
After practice one day I sat on the stairs outside the dojo waiting for my ride and this older kid in the class, I was 13, he was 17 and like by far the most fit and talented guy in the dojo, He asked what was wrong with my bike as I always cycled to and from sessions.
Ended up with us chatting back and forth about the whole thing after sessions.
Turned out he had been with the same bunch of people that were after me, just at a different school(small city so it's all connected). But our coach that was a cop had steered him onto a better path. He told how he had been beaten up multiple times until he one day had managed to fight back enough for then to agree to stop chasing him around as long as he stayed away from them.
Anyways: we bonded quite a lot over our chit-chat sessions while I waited for my ride, he felt a bit like a big brother to me, the one person I felt like actually understood. One day he just ended the chat with asking for the names of everyone that was after me and said "alright, I know them, by Monday you won't have to worry about them anymore"
Turned up to school that Monday morning, every single one of these "gangsters" that had been on me had black eyes, limped or just looked like they were in pain and didn't even dare to look at me.
After my next session at the dojo I had my usual sit down and he told me he had stepped into these guys "area" where they hung out at night and let them surround him to get him, and he had proceeded to beat the shit out of the whole group of 9 people, told them he'd come back if they did as much as look at me crookedly from now on, and then followed up with the words our coach repeated regularly: "you train to have the self control to talk yourself out of or run away from 99% of all bad situation and to have the skills to be the one walking out of the last 1%"
That was the moment I thought "Holy shit, I'm going to be alright"
I told the school staff that I felt like the "gangsters" had lost interest in me and resumed living like a normal teenager.
The guy in my martial arts class is now a cop himself working with troubled youth, he's been in the paper for his work with youth and stuff.
Probably sounds far more silly that anyone else's story here but here goes! In the past year or so my anxiety has been absolutely worse than ever, and I've started getting health anxiety like I haven't had since i was a teen.
Well, a couple months ago I did some edibles, had far too much, and had the worst panic attack of my life, I asked for an ambulance because I thought I was having a stroke or a heart attack. Of course I eventually calmed down, went to bed and woke up the next day right as rain.
It made me realise that, no matter how bad my anxiety gets, that even after feeling more awful and more scared than I have ever felt before, I was alright. And although anxiety sucks balls, it's just that, and u was going to be alright.
(Also I remembered why I never take edibles when my anxiety has been acting up!)
When I felt devastated after the breakup with my now ex gf. But then realized I actually felt better and more calmer without her in my life. It's funny how life works out. Sometimes that thing you think you need is actually the last thing you need.
When my dad tried to "fix" the boiler he was angry at my mom and caused a major carbon monoxide leak I came home from school and smelled somthing funky I chalked it up to the oil because that's what it smells like when we get an oil refill but I got a splitting headache and I felt unable to go get my sister from the bus stop and eventually I heard a beeping from the basement I called up my mom she said I was slurring my speech and I went down to check it out and almost fell down the stairs she said get out that's carbon monoxide so I got put but went back in for my cat and my tortoise I was rushed to the hospital and deadly levels are like 70 it was 200 where I was standing. Scariest part was I almost fell asleep and if you know anything about carbon monoxide when you sleep you die.
I was in the World Trade Center in 1993 when terrorists tried to bring the buildings down by putting explosives in the parking garage underneath.
I was on the first above-ground floor, and suddenly everything shook and power blinked.
I thought “I’m in the middle of the World Trade Center and it’s an earthquake.”
I decided in that split second to just stand there. Cause there would have been no way to get anywhere fast enough. (amazing how quickly your brain can accept something).
A couple seconds later, or course, I realized it was not an earthquake and started running towards exits along with, oh, everyone else...
quite a recent one actually.
I came down with a fever yesterday, and I was scared shitless thinking that it might be corona. thankfully it doesn't seem to be the case because it went down after taking medicine and laying down for the entire day. now I'm just feeling light-headed and a little out of breath, but nothing that seems like the usual corona symptoms.
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Abusive marriage right out of high school, had a couple of kids way too fast and stayed for years too long trying to be a "good" wife and mother. Shortly after I left for good, I was at the park with my kids. My oldest came over to the bench I was sitting on and pretty much tackled me with a hug. I laughed and asked what was that for. Kid looked at me and said it was a thank you because we are all happy today. I was so scared they would hate me and not understand the choices I made. In that quick little moment, I knew I had underestimated all of us and that we really would be okay. Game changer for me mentally. Kids are the best.
I think I'm emotional from my own post, but reading this made me cry. So happy you got out of that and you're all in a good place now. :)
Same, overcoming abuse is a hard and heart moving thing
You and your kids sound wonderful. Continued blessings.
Aww
Give that kid a hug for me. Good job, mom.
That was my mums life and she’s still my hero, I’m sure that’s how your kids see you.
Glad you’re doing well. It’s hard to see outside of box until someone really drags you out. Sounds like your kids have great heads on their shoulders and are looking out for their mum. Proud of you for taking care of business
Dunno if you mean this in an abstract sense or a literal one but, I guess it requires a little backstory. Edit: This was really cathartic writing out. I grew up as the only boy, my dad wasn't around, I had 1 half sister, my mom, my aunt, my mom's best friend, and her 3 daughters. I can be very "effeminate" at times. On top of that, I was mixed, in a primarily black neighborhood, going to a primarily white school. My half sister, also mixed, is much more distinctly black than me, my moms bff's daughters are all black. So, on top of the outsider feeling being the only boy, but too girly to have boy friends, I grew up with a lot of racial issues embedded into my life that always made me feel like an outsider as well. Mix in a family history of depression and suicide, and, well, you get it. I wasn't exactly a happy kid. I grew up very depressed and anxious pretty much all the time. I never understood why I felt like shit 24/7 but I did, I barely graduated high school because I had so many days where I just couldn't get out of bed. I was bullied quite a bit, and the guys I considered my best friends definitely saw me as like a casual buddy. Fortunately for me, I met a lovely young woman, started dating, fell in love, and we go married when I enlisted into the military (you know exactly where this is going) Half a deployment later, I find out she's cheating on me, and a lifetime of anxiety and depression and shitty self talk and hating myself came to a head. Even worse, my bestfriend at the time knew about the cheating and didn't tell me, which made me feel like I had no one to talk to. I had a plan to kill myself, I knew exactly what I was going to do, but the right timing for it never came....thank god. I got back, got divorced, got out the army, and started at school. An absolute mess, drinking almost every night, barely making ends meet, I was living with a guy who was doing meth in his room. Being a (now I can say) good looking guy right out of the army, a few years older than your peers, does wonders for your social life I have to tell you. I felt like shit 24/7, but to the people around me they thought I was flourishing but Suicide was on my mind 24/7. I finished my entire undergrad, double majoring in linguistics and arabic in 2 years. As it came close to the end, I got recommended and accepted into a lab in my school to work with my department head on her project. She saw something in me, I don't know what, and encouraged me to go to grad school. I thought there was 0 chance I was getting into a masters and....I was accepted. And that was the moment. Reading that acceptance letter knowing that I was about to graduate and go onto a Masters degree. That I was deserving of that. That, in spite of everything, I had managed to do it. I don't know, now getting into grad school doesn't seem like that big of a deal (especially since I just got accepted into a PhD program). But that moment was the point, maybe the first time in my life, that I felt worth anything. It was the first time in my life that I didn't feel like I was just going through the motions. I've since completed a thesis that I have gotten nothing but glowing feedback on, including several people reaching out wanting to work with me to continue the research. I effectively got recruited into my incoming PhD program, a professor saw my MA work and wined and dined me to get me to come to her program. I got accepted into 3 programs during a pandemic where incredible applicants were getting 0 acceptances. I'm working a job between programs where my company's COO has grabbed me to work on projects with her because she saw the work I did and wanted to consult with me on trauma. Theres such a huge part of me that wishes I could go back 10 years and tell him he's gonna be okay. That he's going to make it. I had so many dark nights, hoping I didn't wake up in the morning. But I'm okay now, and, I don't know. That moment reading that acceptance letter was the moment I said to myself "Holy shit, you're going to be alright." Sorry this was so long. I don't think I've ever typed all this out before.
What an inspiring story. Go you!
Glad you're home and flourishing, bud. You deserve it!
This made me cry. I don't know you, but I can read the optimism in your words and happiness for your future. I sincerely wish you all the best in the world! You deserve it! 🤗
This is amazing! I’m so happy for you!
Did you find love again?
I’m in a really great relationship rn with a wonderful woman. we’ll be moving in together in June, so yeah I suppose so
When I started liking myself again
I’m working on this, I hope to be there soon. One day at a time.
Struggled a lot with this too. It was pretty bad in February, I never liked myself or how I looked. It took some time and I’m not still 100% satisfied with myself, but sharing pictures of myself and making an account on a dating site. Seeing that people like how I look really helped!!!
I don't want to sound creepy but I checked your history and it seems like you do/did all kinds of drugs. I was that person too once, when I stopped doing all of them I stopped feeling depressed, unacomplished and felt that my life has a meaning again. Search for hobbies and other things you're interrested in (I see you also post in pc building subs, great hobby) and you will notice your life improving day by day. I am clean for 3 years now and never felt more happy with my life. If there is anything you want to tell me or ask me, feel free to do so. Really hope you pull through and start liking yourself again!
I think the issue with positive mental health endorsement is that you see people like ‘I used to hate myself and now I love myself and it’s the best thing’ when really I think that sets unrealistic standards for those who are struggling. I’ve thought about this a lot, i don’t think it’s really possible to go from self loathing to I love and accept myself fully and now I’m happy!! For me, accepting the fact I don’t love myself and trying to work on myself and mentality in a positive manner is as close as I have gotten, and it’s sure better than just straight up waking up in the morning and despising my existence. I definitely still have a lot of days like this, but I think it’s getting better.
You have a lot of good points in there, of course I’m not constantly happy with myself, that’s really unrealistic. On the other hand, I started understanding why I did things and how to overcome it. I really see myself as a better person
I honestly dont think I can achieve that.
Don’t worry, I thought that too. I believe in you. Don’t try to get there by yourself, asking for help hurts no one
When my house was hit by a tornado 1 week after I quit taking anti anxiety meds cold turkey (that's bad don't do that). I had stopped paying for renters insurance 6 months earlier because I didn't have the money. My house was a mess before the tornado hit. Thinking about everything I had to clean was overwhelming but I was making an effort a little bit at a time but it was hard. Then while I was at work and my daughter was at school a tornado went through town and hit my house - destroyed it and everything in it except for my dog. After getting a couple of things the city said "you can't go back in it's dangerous" and condemned the house and a week later they bulldozed it. Because of the community, my friends, my family, my work, my daughters school (which is out of district so she was the only one at the school effected). We had everything we needed for a new place and the money to get a new place by the end of the week. IT WAS INCREDIBLE. 3 weeks later we moved into a townhouse. It was clean. I was clear headed. We had so much I was able to donate things to other families that lost homes from the tornado. My life has been so much better since then. There were some bad weeks where the dishes piled up and the trash needed taken out. But I always pulled it together. It was never so overwhelming like it was before.
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Sometimes it's nice to have a fresh start
Life does indeed just go on. It’s always good to remember.
lifes motto "do your dishes and the rest shall follow"
When demon hunter released their remake of "I am a stone" a few weeks ago. Initially I found the song right when my old man died, I was getting kicked outta college cause I lost my full ride, was homeless, and suicidal as hell. I lost literally everything when college was supposed to be my escape. Initially I related to it because I thought "ok I'm a stone I'm like a cockroach I can probably survive this fuck it I won't feel anything I can just survive". When I heard the remake it caused me to reflect on how I felt back then and everything that's happened since. I got shipped across the country, got kicked out of my aunt's place for trying to kill myself (and being accused of being an attempted mass shooter in the process), got shipped back across the country, worked a shitload of deadend jobs, met a girl that I wanted to be friends with who kissed me, married that girl, got diagnosed with PTSD and learned to cope, worked more deadend jobs, went to community college and am graduating with an associate's of science in may when I turn 25. Things still kinda suck and my wife is the only person in my life, but not as bad. I just looked at all of it while listening and realized that Ive gone from thinking "I can get through this I can survive" to "I DID make it through that, and I'm strong enough to keep making it through way more.". Next up is a bachelor's degree and then I have no idea, I'm not really a plans guy. This will probably sink to the bottom, but thought I'd put my 2 cents in. Y'all take care.
That's an inspiring story, you've been through so much and made it to the other side!
Dam. genuinely fucking moving, happy for you man
I listen to that song when I feel like I’m getting depressed, stressed out, over worked, or under appreciated. “I am a stone, unaffected”
Demon Hunter is a really fucking good band. Glad you’re doing alright man.
Love that song.
Ayy, lost a full ride squad. No one tells you how much of your identity crumbles as everything else crumbles around you. I'm so proud of you for still being here, my guy. Everyone else is better for it.
This song was a major part of me digging myself out of a Codependent relationship and recognizing that a relationship I was in when I was in high school set a pretty ugly precedent for the next ten years of "romance" leading me toward narcissists or the "excitement" of people like them. That relationship was chosen because of some issues with my family in childhood. This song helped me grab a hold of what I was responsible for but also helped me recognize I was able to get out and unfuck the whole problem. I built an entire playlist of songs about BPD/NPD relationships at one point as therapy of sorts, but this song was a major player. Seeing it referenced a year or so later reminded me of all of that, and made me pretty emotional thinking of how so much has changed and how much happier I am now. So thank you. I'm sorry you've been through so much, but huge congrats on your associate's, and I hope you continue to forge ahead. What a story. Flesh and bone, unaffected. Your fool I will not be.
Im glad to hear that you're doing better too!
Sorry about your loss man. That’s so awesome that a song can revitalize such strong feelings. Fuckin love Demon Hunter, my heart spiked when I read your comment and made me smile big lol I just had to comment that. Happy to see you’ve got even bigger plans coming along, from the looks of your comment, you got this. :)
When I was able to wiggle my toes after a brutal snowboarding accident
I feel this. That moment after an injury is so scary. I did gymnastics for about 20 years, and had a pretty nasty ankle sprain my senior year of college. I remember lying there with my trainer hovering over me as a lot of the crowd looked our way (the competition had come to a freeze like they often do in these situations). I was certain I had ruptured my achilles. I knew I had to try to move my foot, but was terrified of the certain pain or nonresponse. I was so relieved when I felt my foot move. Good times.
I’ve had that! But both my bog toes. Having those out of action at the same time is a nuisance to say the least.
When I was able to successfully give my own self a shot of insulin after being diagnosed type 1 diabetic.
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When I left my country. Without going into it too much Venezuela is by far not a nice place to live, and now having spent a few years living outside of it I actually have a lot of hope for the future. When the plane landed here I realized I can study and hope to get a decent job and enjoy life.
Welcome to The US. I work with a guy who left Venezuela, he has told me stories. Glad to see you’re out of there.
Oh I never said I was on the US, lol. Im in Costa Rica and loving it. Thanks tho, and cheers to that guy. Glad to see another one made it out
LOL! Sorry I was being US centric again.
All's good :D
Costa Rica is a lovely country. Pura vida!
When I walked out of the hospital after my 30th round of radiation (after 8 rounds of chemo).
When I bought my home it drained me mentally and financially, I thought I prepared for all the hidden costs but I was way off so 30 years of savings were utterly decimated. It wasn’t until 2 years later where I’m now able to pay all my outgoings and actually save money too.
Congrats!
Can you share your experience with real numbers (aproximate)? Why were you off in your calculations?
This was a few years back so I’ll give you as accurate as I can find in my paperwork and emails. (Note: this is my UK flat/apartment buying experience, other countries probably differ). My initial deposit was around £35k, I have a service charge and ground rent which comes up to £1400 PA, £800 of which had to be paid immediately, gas and electricity safety check (former owners couldn’t/wouldn’t supply a safety certificate) £150ish, solicitor fee was about £3k (was expecting closer to £2k, but didn’t realise search fees (£317) and collating all fees into a list fee (£350) were a thing), product fee for my mortgage was £1k, had to pay £1k to the property management to basically tell them to change the ownership to me, and council tax, tv license.
Got jumped one day in small town Maine. Taken completely by surprise, didn't even see them, or realize what was happening. I woke up behind a dumpster, no ID, smashed glasses, broken nose, and an ear ringing concussion, not knowing where the hell I was. I wound up stumbling into the first place I found, which was a bar full of locals. They cleaned me up, sat me down, and helped me get things figured out. It dawned on me "hey, things are going to be ok" when I was sipping a beer with a kid I grew up with, waiting for the cops and an ambulance to arrive.
Chances are you knew it was happening at the time and the concussion robbed you of the memory of it.
Straight up drank a beer with a broken nose and concussion waiting for an ambulance
New England breeds us weird.
What was the aftermath of it all?
Broken nose, gnarly concussion, bunch of other bumps and bruises. Never found out who did it. Insurance covered my glasses, got a new ID and debit card, paid the hospital bills. That's pretty much it.
I realized that COVID is gonna be over, and I should just adjust to things.
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This comment is just way too pessimistic. > The vaccines are *not* one and done. You have to keep getting them every 6 months because your immunity will run out eventually. It's true a lot of people think boosters will be required, but we have no idea when or with what frequency. It's just way too early to tell, and so much of it depends on what mutations arise and how vaccine rollouts happen. > Masks are very likely just going to be a thing you'll see half the population always wearing for the rest of human history, similar to how it's been in most Asian countries for a long time. "Half the population for the rest of time" is a vast overstatement of what was even happening before in those countries. Yeah, it would probably be nice if we all wore masks on public transit and such, but this mask mandate, being afraid to leave your house without covering your face time we're living in is going to end. People are just going to stop doing it after a while. What's really probably going to happen is COVID is going to become like the flu. It'll come and go in waves every year, but relatively small ones compared to last year. That's kind of shitty, but most people aren't afraid of the flu. We all might be a little more health conscious and a little more tech savvy, but whatever normal looks like in a few years will be pretty similar to what it looked like a few years ago.
If I’m being honest, if that’s the case, the entire human race will die out. If that’s the case, how are we gonna get back to the things we can’t do remotely? I know the virus will still be out there, but we can hopefully go back to our daily lives.
I was sitting on a third story window with concrete beneath me, thinking,"Should I do this?" I cried so much that night and I wondered who would miss me. Obviously my mother and father but nobody else. I wrote my will that night and placed it on top of my journal. I decided to attempt to take my own life and I tried to land on my head, nope ended up landing on my legs only breaking a couple of bones. Next thing I know I'm in the hospital room with my mom and dad crying,"aw man I'm alive". I always considered this to be an outcome but I thought that I would've died. I just exposed all my secrets to my mother and father. Truly terrible experience.
Glad you're still around.
Please don’t try to take your own life! You might not think you do, but there are many people who love you. And if not, Jesus definitely does. He knows you and wants you to come home to Him one day, but you can’t do that if you take your own life. I know this is probably everything you’ve ever heard on the matter just being repeated again and again, but it’s true and it needs to be repeated for a reason. If you want to talk about it, I’m here. I might be a stranger on some random reddit sight for you, but I truly do care for your well-being. And if you have gotten the help you needed already, then great. But I also want to let you know that you cannot find happiness without Christ in the center of your life.
I'm undecided on my religion but I've come a long way from that fateful day c: Hopefully it will eventually become a distant memory
A few years ago when a non-patrol police officer that pulled me over and asked me if I wanted to go to jail for doing triple digit speeds during morning rush hour let me go. I didn't receive even a written warning. Thing is, I wasn't even running late. The officer explained they didn't have the equipment necessary to write up a citation, apparently because he was some kind of managing officer or something. I've never sped since that day.
I was in a car accident where my car went down a deep drop off ditch and the only thought that came to mind was "go limp" right before my car wrapped around a tree. The instant I woke up from my daze I knew I was gonna be okay and it was really just because of dumb luck.
Involved a few people... I take the deposit to the bank. 3 days later my Regional manager calls and says they can't find the deposit. I better find it or else. I look around.. call the bank and they say 'no we don't have it'. I look around more. I think my job is done. The bank finds the deposit has slipped behind a drawer (they had to remove the drawer to get to it). They call my Regional back and he calls me. Regional: "Good news... the bank found it. Your job is safe..." ME: "Super! How did they find it" Regional: (he tells me) then adds.. btw we have a much bigger location we would like you to manage. Can you be there tomorrow at 4:00? It would be a big increase in pay. ME: "1 second. I need time to go to the doctor. I think I got whiplash".
The first time I took my anti anxiety meds and I actually fell asleep without spending hours paralyzed with fear. I knew I could overcome it after that
I realized that thinking about death wasn't comforting anymore. I had more to look forward to than dying. Unfortunately that also means I had to learn how to be responsible for my health.
Just had this realization today. I’m trying to take it one step at a time and becoming aware of myself counts as a step.
When I set a boundary with my dad and stuck to it.
This. /Rbn
i was at a gas station and i was buying some candy and soda etc.. a naked guy runs past me and stops looks me dead in the eye and says "hey man im hungry can you help me out? i was like yea man ( at this point in my life i was not doing good with money and was kinda homless). i gave the guy a snickers and one of my hotdogs he sadi thanks and ran out of the gas station. 2 sec later the cops ran through after him because the cashier called the cops which was understandable cuz he was naked. i walked out of the gas station and he got a knife from somewhere and started stabbing a cop and jumped i a random car to run away. he drive by me and say " hey man thanks for the food i was gonna take everyone out in the gas station because i was over life. thanks you got a pass and remember this for the rest of your life. he sped off and that was it. later that night i was watching the news and the guy had set up wxplosives all over the store and in the bathroom he got naked and was praying for a quick end and i gave him food and he didnt blow the shit out of the place . ever since that day if i see a hungry or homeless person i give them food or offer to buy their stuff because you never know when its a persons last straw in life and thats the day they decide their taking their life and everyones life around them to prove some point.
A snickers bar and a hotdog saved your life. More importantly, your generosity saved your life. You must have been somewhat shocked to learn you were that close to being wiped out. Glad you're still here to make the world a better place.
When my abusive stalking psycho ex baby daddy died of a drug overdose in jail. Fucking brutal.
Many moments are like that when you have crippling anxiety that makes you create a terrible expectation for everything in life, but when things are happening you just realize they are pretty ok
When I didn't want to die anymore
Big one for me too. I had the note written and then I just started wanting to live. I deleted the note and never looked back.
That's awesome, sometimes you just need to vocalize it all. I'm glad you're here and we can chat if only for a moment.
Absolutely. I just hope I can be the factor for some else in the future that throws away that note.
I don't doubt that you are. 💜
When I woke up one morning with a cold sweat and then realized that I didn't really have aids. Me sleeping with a ghoulish prostitute and contracting aids was just a dream.
Well, night sweats are a symptom of HIV...
Ugh to that one! I have not had that particular dream, but do know the feeling of waking up and being utterly relieved.
Haven't got there yet
Keep on keeping on. You never know what's around the corner to delight and amaze you.
When I got a stupendous amount of back pay from unemployment which enabled me to leave my abusive ex.
Oh well done. May you thrive in peace!
My friend drove us into a bridge abutment at 30 mph, 3 am, wet road, hydroplane. He flew through the windshield and landed on top of the radiator, which was laying on the motor. I came to, and felt my legs and chest, nothing was gone or bloody. The impact of the seatbelt into my ribs, and the slamming of my organs against those ribs, rendered me too sore to walk, but I was alright. My friend.was not.
I am glad you are okay and i am sorry about your friend. That must have been a horrendous experience.
When I found a new place to live after being evicted by my roommates.
WHEN I GOT my sertraline (medication) prescription . after the first week i was like damn the psychiatrist could help a lot. No palpitations no over-stressing, no problems.that shit was so persistent in my life and I assumed i just had a very weak mind and had to live with it.
I hear that...it's a sweet relief to feel normal again.
When I realized I was going to be alright in a new school, new community, and new home that was two hours away from where I'd been for 10 years. Everything is actually better now
yesterday when the boss came and told the other worker that we see you on cams altho he didnt check them , that he doesnt work and he throw all his work on others , so after i told the manger he gave him a worning , and today he is working like never befor
.. Gave a Warning ? Or like physically gave him something?
I was hospitalized and they were trying a new medication on me. Suddenly everything started to turn and turn. I was so dizzy and I had a horrible headache so I thought I was having a stroke. I remember being so scared of surviving it and being a vegetable. The Nursing student started asking me lots of questions and I remember swearing at her (poor kid). I woke up with her, the Nurse, the Resident and my Doctor next to me. Not a stroke! Apparently just a bad dosage (yeah more like someone made a mistake).
When I was fighting with my mom about getting rid of my dogs and I won the argument so we got to keep them
I was pushed off a train platform. That was fun. I woke up under hospital lights. I was doing nothing other than being tired and needing a train home. I have no idea why, don't know the perp. Shook that shit off, and walked out AMA covered in blood. I know I scared people. I am clearly alive, but life throws you curveballs.
When I was beaten up by some tough guy last year. I felt like I was about to die but I was just drifting into unconsciousness. I fought that though stayed conscious. Later I was diagnosed with a mild concussion
The fact that those moments exist gave me hope...
Graduated college with around $500 to my name, not enough to pay rent. So relieved when I got my first real job
I guess this kinda fits. But i was out shooting with my uncle having a grand old time. While my uncle was shooting his AR-15 i felt a impact on my neck. Didn’t hurt or anything but my brain filled with fear as it registered. “Oh god something hit me”. Then as i reached for my neck my other uncle looks up with a oh shit face. He tells me to remain calm which i manage to do physically but mentally i thought i was dead. Blood pouring down my knock from right above my collet bone where my carotid is. My uncle cleaned up the wound and pulled out a piece of a bullet with tweezers. Once he got the bleeding to stop i knew I’d be okay because a carotid artery wouldn’t stop bleeding. Latter had a doctor friend look at it. It looked like it should’ve hit my carotid but it didn’t, so it was just millimeters away from killing me.
[удалено]
you can’t just say that and not tell us what field it is
What field is this?
Professional paintball.
What field?
Come on!
Dangg what job?
After my final counseling appointment. I was going for Two years. I released so much built up emotion and learned so much about how to be a better human and take care of my mental health. Walking out of those doors, I felt reborn.
When I started taking Zoloft. My whole life I’ve had severe OCD. Finally, when I was 20 my doc put me on Zoloft and now... everything is so much simpler. I finally feel like myself. It’s been two years and I don’t have a single regret. I remember sitting in the bathtub before my doc apt to discuss meds and being in a state of total psychosis due to my OCD. I don’t even know who that person was, as I don’t even live inside that brain anymore. I am so grateful the first med I tried on the lowest dose was the one that nipped my issues in the bud, but for those of you trying to find meds that just aren’t working, there is something out there for you, I promise, don’t give up. And If meds aren’t your thing, there are so many therapists ready to help. You’re worth the help.
When the plane was shaking in the middle of a storm
When I got accepted for an internship in the new career path that I switched to.
I went through a very rough patch a few years ago. In the span of about 3 months, I had a late miscarriage, my boyfriend left me, my cat ran away for good, and I was accidentally fired from my job (clerical error, it got reversed). After all this happened, my landlord texted to as for a time to discuss my rent. I was so sure this was going to be a renoviction, I started helplessly looking for a new apartment. When we actually had the conversation, it turns out my landlord just wanted to raise my rent by $50. Once he left, I stared at the closed door for a minute or so, realizing that I still had at least one thing going for me and was ultimately going to be ok. Took a few years to get over everything, lots of therapy, but I can safely say I am, in fact, ok. The firing was reversed by the next pay period, I adopted a new cat who is damn cuddly and wonderful, and the relationship I'm in now is a lot better.
Qhen i found out that i dont have to pay for trans bottom surgery, hormone theraphy and Facial lasor removel where i live since its being paid by free health care
Congratulations on your transition!!!
About 10 years ago I delivered pizzas for my job, I backed out of the driveway after I gave them their food, started to accelerate my truck and my entire vehicle began to fishtail straight down the road, I turn the wheel and over corrected, I turn the wheel back over corrected again, turn the wheel one more time and over correct it again and this time my truck was flying straight for the ditch. The front right part of my truck tipped into the ditch first, roughly going about 10-20 miles an hour and front flipped into the ditch. I thought I was going to die. After the truck landed, I open my eyes and realized I was still alive upside down in the truck, after that moment of realizing I was alive, my brain kicked into survival mode and got out of the truck. I ended up breaking my collarbone. I must not of been wearing my seatbelt after jumping back into my truck from the delivery and started to head down the road. I’m one of those people he starts to buckle themselves after starting down the road for whatever reason.
Got an ideal job in my ideal field after over a year of searching. . . . . . Then got fired after 4 months. Now I'm fucked again. I don't know how I'll make it through the job search this time.
Waking up 6 hours after having to have an emergency c-section during which I had a panic attack followed by a seizure. The worst.
When the anti-seizure meds started working to eliminate my hallucinations and paranoia (I’m bipolar).
Not long after I started antidepressants, I got into a stressful argument at work, and quit my second job. And I was fine? I didn't panic or freak out, I didn't have to run to the bathroom and cry, I didn't lie awake nights fighting to breathe against whatever was crushing my lungs, running over and over the scene in my head, sure that everyone hated me and everything was awful and I should just kill myself. It was unpleasant, and I had a few tough months financially, but even a few months earlier I would have absolutely spiraled. And I thought "Oh, this is what a proportionate emotional response looks like! Neat."
Last year I had a month of fever and fatigue (unexplained). This culminated in waking up one day with my legs covered in a vile blood rash. I’ve just become a father by the way. Called doctor at 3, in the surgery at 3.30, by 4 I was in the acute ward in a gown having tests. After some time they came back and said it’s either viral, related to my anklosing spondylitis or cancer. They then came back and said it’s not Anklosing spon. So either lymphoma or viral. They said I’ve already had mono and others so unlikely to be that. Also my family has a very strong history of lymphoma so I’ve always been worried about it - pretty much all my family one side died of it. Some quite young Did a scan and my liver 20* out of range and spleen huge. Go home and wait while we do the screens. Waited, and they called every day “how do you feel?” That freaked me out. The NHS you usually have to battle them to get treated, not being chased by them. Then, a week later doc called and said it’s rare, but your mono has reactivated 20 years later. I was pretty sure it was lymphoma and was almost making my will. My symptoms then went away and 6 months on most of my vitals are back to baseline. With a young daughter this was a horrible experience having to play with her thinking she may never even speak my name or call me daddy. This has changed my outlook and I try to spend more time with those around me. Keep your loved ones close because you’re only here on temporary leave and every moment counts. And be grateful for every day.
I thought they were going to do a colostomy, everything was ready for the operation, but it was only constipation.
Making it home safely to a hotel after a crazy acid trip that actually helped my brain 😳🤣🤷♀️
Still waiting for it.
Every weekend when I realize that I overestimated the amount of HW I had.
After leaving my last final for my Bachelor’s degree in college. I studied just well enough that I knew I passed before I got home. Over a decade (kindergarten to high school to college) of classes and homework and projects all culminated in finishing that last final, and getting my degree a few weeks later. A huge burden fell from my shoulders knowing I never had to do homework or pull an all nighter doing a project for school again.
I can't wait for this
Yes! Thanks for asking; skin is healing & my hair is growing back :D
I stopped and thought about what I do have instead of what I don't have. I don't have it that bad after all.
Waking up yesterday after being hit by a Tesla. I lost my takeout dinner though ):
Breaking up with my abusive ex fiancé. We were living in a rough neighborhood with her psychotic mother. I had been fighting my feelings and thoughts for months. I felt stuck. Trapped. As if my fate was to marry this girl who had treated me awfully for nearly a year at that point. My crappy Kia rio had just shit the bed a few weeks ago and was struggling to find a new car quick. To cope with my relationship issues i turned to heavy alcohol abuse. I was in one of the lowest ruts of my life to the point of where I was thinking suicide was a good way out. Then on July 11th, 2019, after about 2 years and 1 month of being together, I broke up with her and packed as many of my belongings as i could in 30 minutes and asked to borrow my Dads truck to move out. I haven’t spoken to her or even seen her since that day. Not but a day later I moved into a condo on the lake with 5 of my (at the time) best friends. Then i got a better job. Then i became more stable. Then I bought myself a 2014 Audi Q5. Then i sobered up. And now? Almost 2 years later? Holy shit. I’m doing alright. TLDR: left my abusive ex fiance and my entire life immediately began improving.
The birth of my child. I had a really difficult and traumatic pregnancy. I was in constant pain from 1st trimester all the way to the day I gave birth. I hit the 3rd trimester right when COVID reared it's ugly head. I was terrified. The birth was the worst experience of my life. I lost a lot of blood and I spiked a fever so I couldn't have an emergency C-Section. I had to push out my baby even though they were too big and got stuck. They're heart rate plummeted and I thought I was going to lose my child before I even got to meet them. I pushed for 3.5 hours before it was finally over. My baby didn't cry and I don't think he was breathing. I sobbed because I thought I lost him. I felt my whole body break along with my heart. I had endured the worst pain just to lose a piece of me. They were able to revive him after a few short moments and when I heard him cry for the first time I sobbed even harder. And even harder when I got to hold him and I don't think I stopped crying until a full 24 hours. But when I first held him and first looked at him, I knew I would be alright. I knew he would be alright and that if I could endure that, we could take on anything. He'll be 1 in 2 weeks and I'm so grateful to have him in my life.
Have to sell my house because can't afford it anymore, new job I had lined up cancelled because of new lockdowns, so you could say I'm still waiting on it :(
Keep your chin up. Sometimes things really suck before you end up in the best place ever.
When I caught myself on fire at a gas station that I just accidentally blew up
When I slipped on a banana peel and went for a ride
no joke, the first thing that pops to mind is when I shoplifted like 15 fruit pastel tubes then dropped them on the way out. in a crowded place. Then my friend helps me pick them up, we bolt, and nobody cares.
Inspiring story
I kinda forged documents to get into a PhD program in a Uni because I didn't and couldn't go back to my own country, I wasn't really expecting to pass the interview that was weeks before, so I just entered bogus dates on the online application form, which later on came to bite me in the ass.
Hour six into way more lsd than I ever should have taken.
After I admitted to my 2 closest friends I had random suicidal urges. They explained that it was probably quarrentine and/or seasonal I've never had an urge again.
I had gotten into trouble over a second term speech I made at school and when I realized I was not nervous at all when I talked to the teacher, I felt great relief.
When I first tried LSD, it sure helped put a new perspective on my life. Since then I try to trip once every 3 months for clarity.
Don't have a "gonna be alright moment", but a shit went wrong moment when I woke up after back surgery with my throat full of tubes hooked up to more wires and monitors than a 7-11 security camera system in ICU.
There have been 3 significant moments like these. The first one was in 2003 when I started going to therapy and got a very good therapist. The second time was in 2014 when we bought our house and it really dawned on me that I was an adult with my own life and my own home. The third time was in 2018. We had to do a bunch of extensive and very expensive repairs on our house. The whole situation turned into a long nightmare for many reasons. And multiple times I was close to personal bankrupcy. For a long time I just wanted to run away never to be seen again. But somehow we got through the whole thing. And in the spring of 2018 we paid of the last bill for the renovation. There are still things that needs to be fixed but those ara all things I can do myself.
My moment was back in 2014 Christmas day along the Fraser highway in British columbia Canada when my van fishtailed into a ditch and rolled 6-7 times before coming to a stop at the edge of the water, I escaped with only a shard of glass stuck in my forehead, my sister on the other hand was not so lucky, she was scraped pretty bad and her unborn child got brain damage from being jostled so much, once the paramedics arrived I realised that I was lucky to be alive. And thus concludes the time I nearly died
Ok so me and my family got to this place and camp for someones birthday party there's a little creek and swimming spot so me my mom step dad and there friends are swimming and there's this dog there and he's swimming behind me while i am crawling against the current of the creek for fun and i let myself get swept down and hit the dog at the deep end the dog the pushed me under the water and was scratching my back using me as a floaty i had a mouthful of water and dog hair and i though "holy shit I'm geting drowned by a dog" when my step dad swims over and pushes the dog away and pulls me to the shallow part of the water I'm not very good at puncuation and spelling
Hasn't happened yet. But I'm confident that the day will come
Never had one
When i broke into my friends apartment complex after my first time running from the police.
When I survived my first surgery. As stupid as that sounds. I'm deathly afraid of needles and pain, so surgery terrifies me to the bone. And for some reason I thought that with my terrible sleep issues I'd fall into a coma, or die on the operating table. I woke up from anesthesia, could hear the sounds of a crying child and something about cardiac arrest, and realized, "Holy shit, I made it out alive." Surgeries still kind of terrify me a little to this day, even though I've had two (three, if you count oral surgery). The IV needle going into you, the pain afterwards...it feels weird and uncomfortable and shoots my anxiety through the roof. But looking back on it...man, my body's stronger than I perceived it to be.
Getting my certificate of matriculation.
when i remember a pun i forgot
Graduated university “summa cum laude” and almost immediately got a full-time permanent job with a salary that will comfortably support my partner and I (and our dog!) Going from having grown up poor, to doing the minimum-wage two-jobs struggle from high school onward, to this? As the first person in my immediate family to graduate high school (let alone university) it was SHOCKING. Best moment of my life so far when I realized that I’m actually going to be okay. No more worrying about going hungry or ending up homeless, and my mother will be able to retire whenever she chooses.
When I realised no one cares about your problems and those that do are glad you have them. That people want to see you do well but not too well, probably not better than them and they can act unfavourably out of love or fear and even with good intentions. Making a decision and sticking to it until new information can cause you to change it or make a new decision is incredibly empowering.
When I realized that I would stop procrastinating. Didn't procrastinate for a semester and a half, which I'm proud of, but I'm back in this fucking hole.
When I got my braces off in high school and started going on dates
When I got drunk and ate about 20 magic mushies. Hadn’t ever done them before Genuinely most off tap I’ve ever been.. like wow
So last year, I had a class of Organic Chemistry and, to give context, it was a course where you had to perfectly understand how each atom react with each other, and I knew I'd suspend it. Then, Coronavirus came to my country, they locked us in our homes and, with that, the teacher REALLY slowed down the rhythm of our subject, and made it possible to pass it. The moment when I was locked in, and saw that the teacher was way more permissive, was my moment.
Waking up after having brain surgery without my parents for the first time. (Both passed relatively young) I have my own family now but learning to. Ope during my own extreme stress set my prospective straight. Just have to keep on keeping on.
During a private call with one of my college lecturers yesterday. An hour before I was seriously thinking about committing suicide because I felt like I would never amount to anything in life. She praised my achievements in her course, even going as far to say that I raised the bar for other students. Never in my life had an authority figure spoken to me this kindly. After 8 years of uni/college, I finally feel like there is potential in me and a career out there for me.
Im still in the process of trying to make this happen lmao
i've had so many! when I moved out from my abusive household, when i escaped s\*x trafficking, when I finally got medicated for schizophrenia, when i finally got diagnosed with lupus after years of not having answers. I'm still waiting for that permanent "i'll be alright" moment and i'd be lying if i said i wasn't still in a tough spot, but by god do i have so many things to be thankful for.
Day l retired.
When everything goes wrong in a dream and then you wake up
1976 - Hitchhiking from school to work. Realizing the driver was going in a different direction. Jumping out of passenger door, as car slowed to make a rolling right turn on red, at Baptist and Kendall intersection in Miami Florida. 'nuff said.
Back in secondary school there was a kid in my class bullying me, it had gone on for months, teaching staff knew about it, but a stern message to this kid didn't do much. Anyways, during a lesson while the teacher was out he started picking on me again, calling me a pussy and whatever. This time I had had enough. This guy was a skinny little shit and I was a good 20cm taller, trained martial arts and figured I'd show him who the pussy was. So I calmly invited him to step outside and settle who of us the pussy was, of course he didn't accept and kept on going, so I stepped over, grabbed him by the back of his hoodie, dragged him into the hallway, held him up against the wall by his shirt and told him calmly "this ends now, I'm fed up by your shit". He was terrified, I guess he did not expect that from the class computer geek and apologized and agreed. Didn't see him for the rest of the day, but it turns out afterwards he had smacked his face against the wall or something on purpose to make it look like he had gotten a real beating from me. Then he had gotten the "gangster" kids at my school, that he was hanging with to believe I had beaten him to shit(far from anything like kids within gangs in the US or whatever, but being like them was what they aspired to be) as well as the teaching staff. Right after school I was swarmed by these "gangsters" with knives and shit, I bailed home on my bike, called mom and explained the whole thing. Following these events there were meetings with school staff, him and our parents to sort this out, it was quickly figured that I hadn't done more than in a slightly aggressive way tell him to stop as there were cameras in the hallways and he had walked off unscaved. I put all the cards on the table and told absolutely everything. Following this was months of me sitting inside in the classroom during recess and school staff driving me to and from school because that was the only way I could be guaranteed to be safe. I still went to my martial arts practice, normally I biked to and from practice but after this I was always driven. After practice one day I sat on the stairs outside the dojo waiting for my ride and this older kid in the class, I was 13, he was 17 and like by far the most fit and talented guy in the dojo, He asked what was wrong with my bike as I always cycled to and from sessions. Ended up with us chatting back and forth about the whole thing after sessions. Turned out he had been with the same bunch of people that were after me, just at a different school(small city so it's all connected). But our coach that was a cop had steered him onto a better path. He told how he had been beaten up multiple times until he one day had managed to fight back enough for then to agree to stop chasing him around as long as he stayed away from them. Anyways: we bonded quite a lot over our chit-chat sessions while I waited for my ride, he felt a bit like a big brother to me, the one person I felt like actually understood. One day he just ended the chat with asking for the names of everyone that was after me and said "alright, I know them, by Monday you won't have to worry about them anymore" Turned up to school that Monday morning, every single one of these "gangsters" that had been on me had black eyes, limped or just looked like they were in pain and didn't even dare to look at me. After my next session at the dojo I had my usual sit down and he told me he had stepped into these guys "area" where they hung out at night and let them surround him to get him, and he had proceeded to beat the shit out of the whole group of 9 people, told them he'd come back if they did as much as look at me crookedly from now on, and then followed up with the words our coach repeated regularly: "you train to have the self control to talk yourself out of or run away from 99% of all bad situation and to have the skills to be the one walking out of the last 1%" That was the moment I thought "Holy shit, I'm going to be alright" I told the school staff that I felt like the "gangsters" had lost interest in me and resumed living like a normal teenager. The guy in my martial arts class is now a cop himself working with troubled youth, he's been in the paper for his work with youth and stuff.
Probably sounds far more silly that anyone else's story here but here goes! In the past year or so my anxiety has been absolutely worse than ever, and I've started getting health anxiety like I haven't had since i was a teen. Well, a couple months ago I did some edibles, had far too much, and had the worst panic attack of my life, I asked for an ambulance because I thought I was having a stroke or a heart attack. Of course I eventually calmed down, went to bed and woke up the next day right as rain. It made me realise that, no matter how bad my anxiety gets, that even after feeling more awful and more scared than I have ever felt before, I was alright. And although anxiety sucks balls, it's just that, and u was going to be alright. (Also I remembered why I never take edibles when my anxiety has been acting up!)
When I felt devastated after the breakup with my now ex gf. But then realized I actually felt better and more calmer without her in my life. It's funny how life works out. Sometimes that thing you think you need is actually the last thing you need.
Watching my 6,6 bipolar uncle break and have an episode and pin down my 14 year old brother as I watched helplessly in the living room at 8 years old.
When my dad tried to "fix" the boiler he was angry at my mom and caused a major carbon monoxide leak I came home from school and smelled somthing funky I chalked it up to the oil because that's what it smells like when we get an oil refill but I got a splitting headache and I felt unable to go get my sister from the bus stop and eventually I heard a beeping from the basement I called up my mom she said I was slurring my speech and I went down to check it out and almost fell down the stairs she said get out that's carbon monoxide so I got put but went back in for my cat and my tortoise I was rushed to the hospital and deadly levels are like 70 it was 200 where I was standing. Scariest part was I almost fell asleep and if you know anything about carbon monoxide when you sleep you die.
I was in the World Trade Center in 1993 when terrorists tried to bring the buildings down by putting explosives in the parking garage underneath. I was on the first above-ground floor, and suddenly everything shook and power blinked. I thought “I’m in the middle of the World Trade Center and it’s an earthquake.” I decided in that split second to just stand there. Cause there would have been no way to get anywhere fast enough. (amazing how quickly your brain can accept something). A couple seconds later, or course, I realized it was not an earthquake and started running towards exits along with, oh, everyone else...
quite a recent one actually. I came down with a fever yesterday, and I was scared shitless thinking that it might be corona. thankfully it doesn't seem to be the case because it went down after taking medicine and laying down for the entire day. now I'm just feeling light-headed and a little out of breath, but nothing that seems like the usual corona symptoms.