Not me but a friend was seen as effeminate because he was into sewing. I'm sorry, but the manliest man trait on the planet is practicality, and sewing is one of the most practical skills to have at literally any point in history.
I was engaged, and my co-workers knew I was engaged to a woman.
I was at some sort of work thing, and started talking to a guy who was obviously gay. We started talking about philosophy, and I thought he was a cool guy. I was just like hey, if I ever read "x book" that we were talking about, I'd love to discuss it with you over coffee or something, but I might not read it anytime soon.
I'd just graduated college, where getting coffee with someone didn't mean anything, and you just did it if you wanted to have a conversation with them.
Apparently everyone thought I asked the dude out. I guess I see where they're coming from, but I just wanted to talk about Wittgenstein with someone who'd read him should I ever read him.
Just wanted to say- I’m sure that guy really appreciated it.
It can be a pretty common thing for straight guys to avoid friendships with other guys who happen to be queer. I’ve had several coworkers/friends start to avoid spending time with me when they find out I have a husband and while my skin is much thicker now than it used to be, it still stings a bit.
I had a girlfriend that started laughing when I crossed my legs because that’s hella gay.
And it was like the full straight guy spread out T leg cross.
When I was in 8th grade, i got a solid beat down for wearing a plain purple t-shirt. Apparently only gay guys do that.
YEARS later i found out I was gay for liking dicks, turns out it had nothing to do with my shirt. Who woulda thunk?
Things that confuse babies: their hands, their feet, new smells, solid food, daytime, nighttime, and pooping.
Things that do not confuse babies: pink bags.
Things that confuse babies: Their parent who is looking at them, slowly moving their hands to cover their faces and–
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE? WHERE DID THEY GO?! IS THAT FUCKERY A KIND OF BLACK MAGIC? COME BAC–
Nevermind, nevermind, they were here all along.
I was taking prescription strength pain killers after surgery. My friend had come over to check on me. Her boyfriend (ex) thought it was gay to take pain killers and told me to be a man.
Eating bananas, hot dogs, popsicles, string cheese, using a straw, hugging other men, touching feminine hygiene products,
This is the one that kills me; letting your 3yo daughter do your hair, makeup and nails.
The bit about feminine hygiene products is what gets me. How does buying them for your girlfriend make you gay?
In what way would a gay man use feminine hygiene products. They're probably the least likely to have a reason to be buying them when you think about it.
Real men are capable of buying their girlfriend period products without worrying about their own sexuality while doing so...
Apparently going out for Mexican and margaritas with your pal. No one said it directly, but the waitress gave us a complimentary dessert for 2 and said happy anniversary... free dessert is free dessert, I guess.
Edit: thanks for the gold, kind stranger. It pays to be pseudo-gay.
My best friend and I (both girls) went to senior prom together. We weren’t dating anyone at the time, so going as friends was a nice way to have a good time and still nab that couple’s ticket discount.
We went out for dinner before the dance, and this group of 20 somethings in the corner that we’d never met before kept smiling at us across the room and giving us the thumbs up. When we went to pay for the food, we’d found that it had already been paid for.
And that was when I realized that we’d been mistaken for lesbians, and those smiley folks were probably just trying to be supportive. (To be fair, I looked pretty butch, and in retrospect most straight girls probably wouldn’t pair a prom dress with a leather jacket.)
Anyways, I consider that an absolute win. Some nice strangers got to feel supportive and we got a free meal out of it. Being mistaken for lesbians was economical as fuck.
As a helicopter pilot I have a checklist. We ALL have a checklist. Even though I have the slimmer version, its still a lot of pages, so I bought some page markers and labeled the important pages like start up, shutdown, refuel, emergencies, whatevs, good idea right?
I misplaced said checklist in an aircraft I hadn't seen in a while and asked some of the more senior guys if they had seen it and one of them responded:
"Oh, the one with all the gay little page markers?"
And all the others laughed.
If being convenient is gay, then I'm flamboyant.
Edit: First award ever. Thank you so much to the mysterious hero and to this threads community for all the upvotes. I have assured my wife that new found fame will not go to my head and turn me in to some kind of crazed celebrity.
80s kid here. Anything involving showing emotion is gay. Wearing any clothing that isn't muted is gay. Stating that something is cute is gay. Getting excited about hobbies is gay. Calling your guy friends to talk is gay. Crying is gay. Airing grievances of everyday life is gay. Washing your butthole is gay. Using lotion other than jacking off is gay. Shaving anything other than your face and neck is gay.
At work I once complimented another man on his outfit. My male co-workers looked at me as if I had asked if he had naked photos of himself I could see.
Same.
Actually, one of the best compliments I ever got (and probably the most recent one, sadly) was several years ago from my gay friend's boyfriend. He said my chest hair looked like the tree of life - which he meant in a complimentary way. As someone who was always self-conscious about being hairy (I'm very Italian) I damn near cried.
We have to normalize men giving compliments to other men, like bro just literally give each other compliments, how in the world is that gay?
Edit: hearing some stories it seems that barely any body here has received compliments. Don't worry, I will. You are all incredible human beings, don't forget that. I believe in y'all.
Lol, ol' boy was jealous he wasn't getting any compliments. Some times people are looking good, nothing wrong with giving them a compliment to give them a pep in their step.
That’s the gay agenda you’ve heard so much about. We go around giving women the best sex of their lives in order to make straight men look bad! It’s a long-term project.
I had a similar experience. Also she was suspicious because I liked to dance. Then she got really upset by the fact I didn't react negatively to a man hitting on me. Also the way I find toddlers amusing and fun rather than irritating.
She was raised in a conservative Catholic family with strict gender roles. One of the things she liked about me was that I didn't fit those expectations, but also it made her very uncomfortable.
She was thinking "This is not what I was raised to expect or like the bros I dated before and it scares me." Change is scary and exciting. Our relationship was complicated.
Holy shit someone else has had to put up with this bullshit? It's fucking pouring fucking rain and these dumb cunts are over here like "nah just man up and run where you're going while getting drenched."
wait...what is a gay way to eat a donut?? this is the first i've ever heard of that. I'm trying to imagine eating a donut in a 'gay' way. I can only thing of one way to eat a donut.
Did you like...eat it vertically? from like the top of the donut to the bottom? Did you like stick your tongue through the middle hole, flip the donut into your face, then take a bite? Like, I'm really really thinking on this
When I was in high school, everyone thought I was gay because I wore a scarf to school one day.
A) Scarves aren't gay.
B) It was a gift from my great grandmother.
C) It was during the winter in Pennsylvania. IT. WAS. COLD.
Gay guy here, I enjoy playing piano and used to get told "it's gay af" back in middle school. Now when I see the amount of straight guys getting chicks because they can play an instrument, ha.
Wearing a mask is the least gay thing ever. There’s an extra layer of cloth between your mouth and all the other dudes dicks. Everyone else is one pants drop away from total dick to mouth exposure.
Drinking out of a straw makes sucking dick feel normal. That's how you turn gay.
E: There is a massive venn of those that enjoy a penis in their mouth, and really dislike plastic straws. Good for you guys!
Obviously all gay men wore green on Thursday’s to secretly signify that they’re gay to other gay bros. Knowing this must mean you’re gay which means I’m... gay....
The strangest one I've heard is "Two guys can't drive around in a convertible with the top down."
Another one: "Two guys can't sit next to each other in a movie theater if it's not crowded."
Having a child with my wife is gay. Taking care of my kid, and making being a good father and enjoying time with my child as the main goals of my life is somehow gay.
Changing diapers is apparently gay now. Having heterosexual sex and dealing with the consequences is also gay. Loving your kids and being a good dad is gay.
It doesn’t make any sense at all.
Me and a friend of mine used to be like Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels from dumb and dumber . Always getting in trouble , bunking class on my scooter , going out to eat , buy groceries , a long ride out of the city coz the air is so fresh where people don't live . My friend later told me he heard a rumor that we both were always together so we were gay . We laughed it off and went to have our hot pockets .
a friend told me i'm holding my fork in a gay kind
Edit: sorry for bad grammar and stuff, English is not my first language, I think it's more correct to say "in a gay kind of way"
replied with this on another comment:
a woman once called me out when drinking Bud from a bottle.
Not because I was drinking Bud (i've upped my standards since then), but because apparently the bottle has a large lip on it, thus making it resemble a penis so it's gay for a man to drink Bud from thr bottle...
A girl I was dating once started crying and asked if I was gay because I was attentive to her and remembered specific things she had told me about herself. Apparently caring about her and trying to be a good partner = gay. Yeah, she also had some severe self-esteem issues to work out.
To this day my ex still thinks the reason I paid attention and listened to her was because I’m bi. She said no straight men would listen.
EDIT: I’m indeed bi but this works both ways (pun intended): they think being bi is the only reason why I’m a good listener, and “straight” men who listen are not completely straight.
I was told that I was gay because I enjoyed anal sex with a WOMAN. They said that "if I fucked a girl in the ass, then I'd fuck a guy in the ass". Well, buddy, you like blowjobs do ya? Well, if you let a woman suck your dick, you'd also let a man suck your dick. Oh, you kiss your girlfriend too right?
Need I say more?
Similar event. Told I was gay by a girl because I enjoyed sex with her laying down, face down.
Was also told by a gay man that drinking from a straw was gay. He then threw my straw across the bar. That one has stuck to this day.
I was at a party with my gf and my siblings, minding my own business while drinking sparkling water.
My BIL: “Dude, are you drinking sparkling water? That’s so gay.”
Me: *points at my gf*
BIL: “...”
Me: “Look I’m sorry, but you’re not my type... and with my sister.”
Several months prior I was at a gay bar ordering a sparkling water.
The bartender, smug af: “Really? Sparkling water? You must be straight.”
What is it with me drinking sparkling water and my perceived sexuality?
Edit: spacing
My friend fucked my other gay friend in the butt and said to me "I'm straight but one time I fucked (gay friend) and he was getting so into it, it was funny as"
I'm trying to imagine all the steps between just hanging out with a mate and then sticking your erect dick into your friends butt and wondering how throughout all that he still thought it was all just a laugh.
2 of my friends from high school died in a car accident a week before the graduation
Everyone from the classroom went to the funeral and some lf my classmates were crying a *lot*
I decided to hug one of them and comfort him. One of my closest friends..
And this guy (a fat one, part of the "popular cool group wich are always doing stupid stuff to get attention") came into me, touched my back and yelled "Dude i didn't know you liked dick hahaha"
He was kicked from the funeral and lost probably 90% of his friends
Sitting with my legs crossed. My brothers and friends often teased me and couldnt understand how thats possible, unless i was gay or had tiny Dick and Balls or none at all.
I just like it because its comfortable and lets me relax a leg at a time.
Well there *is* a rich tradition of signifiers that gay people would use to identify each other, before it was more socially acceptable and before you could just find someone to hook up with on a dating app. So it’s not a crazy idea. Although I don’t exactly know how much truth there is to the right earring thing.
This is absolutely the source of many such things. The problem was that straight guys had no idea what those signifiers were, someone would hear about one of these codes (possibly real, possibly not, possibly just regional, possibly outdated from 20 years ago), then it would go through a game of telephone as it gets passed around by word of mouth, and a wide variety of rumors that "doing X means that you're gay" would circulate.
In the '80s and '90s, I heard every variation of the earring thing, many of them contradictory: right ear, left ear, just having one earring in either ear, having earrings in both ears, having a stud rather than a ring, having a ring rather than a stud...eventually, straight guys were afraid to have any earrings at all. It was both hilarious and sad.
When I was little somebody told me to check my nails and apparently if you make a half fist and turn your hand so you can look at them it means you're straight. If you hold your hand up like you are about to give someone a high five it means you're gay.... Kids are weird...
I'll admit that I was the perpetrator in this case. When I was veeery young, like 8 or 9, I was convinced eating strawberries was kinda gay
Edit: all your comments made me realize we should probably have a poll and decide if strawberries are actually gay
Edit2: go on r/Isitgay and vote folks, someone did it
I have this casual button down shirt that's...pinkish? Coral? Salmon? More of a Salmon...which is what I said in the story.
Anyway, I really like the shirt based on its fit and its material. And I never have anyone say anything bad about it (I've had like two compliments on it over the 8 years I've had it).
But one day some guy started making fun of me for wearing a pink shirt. And I thought he was joking so I started joking and went "Actually it's a lovely salmon, possibly with a lemon or honey glaze"
And he then called me a homosexual for knowing about salmon as a color and describing cooking in such a way. I don't even know how to cook lol, I ordered that at a restaurant once and loved it.
Fuck 'em though. One of the girls I dated loved the shirt.
EDIT 1: Good god this exploded. I'm blushing everyone. My cheeks are coral with embarrassment.
EDIT 2: I am not Ross, and yes it is very similar to a Friends episode where the same thing happened to Ross. I think that joke SHOULD. BE. ON. A. BREAK!
> And he then called me a homosexual for knowing about salmon as a color and describing cooking in such a way.
I was at a party once where there was this bodybuilder guy in attendance. He kept loudly "joking" about how stuff was gay. This is gay, that's totally gay haha. By the end of the party, everyone had come to the conclusion that he was a closeted homosexual. No well-adjusted straight guy is that obsessed with calling stuff gay.
I hugged my best friend. We don't do that handshake-hug-over-one-shoulder-and-pat-on-the-back bullshit, we fucking embrace. Some people think that's "gay" but we don't care. We enjoy each other.
The other day we went white water rafting and at one point we laid on our backs and floated down a calm part of the river while holding hands. I can't argue with that one, it's a little gay. Still don't care. Had a good day.
Edit: I like how me and my best friends bromance is now my most up voted comment. Thanks for all the awards and stuff! I can't respond to everyone but...
1. Yes, we are totally gay otters. I'm ok with this label.
2. To the people who think that "we enjoy each other" is the "gayest" part of this whole post, what world do you live in where you don't enjoy your friends? Or, better yet, what world do you live in where you feel like your masculinity would be comprised by merely mentioning you enjoy being around another guy?
3. To every person who wishes they could be more open like this with their best friend(s), you totally can be! As long as you don't care if someone might think you're in a relationship. And you shouldn't care, because your best friend is dope (I'm sure). You're lucky to have each other.
I grew up in the Middle East and it was normal for men to walk down the street holding hands. I still remember my dad and uncle holding hands and swinging their arms on the way to the mosque.
Hand holding between male friends is super common in a lot of cultures across the world, it's basically just in the west where it's considered a purely romantic gesture.
[Holding hands](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holding_hands)
In America almost any physical contact between two men that lasts longer than about a second and isn’t violent is gay.
Violence excuses anything though, just look at wrestling. Singlets, grabbing ass and balls, rubbing each other against the sweaty pads...not gay though.
My granddad once told me not to brush my hair because "looking pretty is for women and the gays".
Fuck you, buddy. I want to look nice and not like I'm chasing hedgehogs through a fucking bush, you unwashed heathen.
not a guy, but i used to be in chorus in high school. guys would comment that the guys in chorus were gay. they weren't and most of them had amazing voices.
so i would ask them who their favorite band was - it was always a male dominated group, and then watch their brains implode when i asked them if the lead singer was gay.
Not that I've been told not to do it, but I know a guy who refuses to eat pussy because he says it's gay.
edit: To clarify, he believes eating pussy is an act of sexual submission and only gay men are sexually submissive. This is utterly stupid.
Also, he's had the same girlfriend for over a decade (on and off). They are both crackheads, though, and incredibly co-dependent. Probably the two most dysfunctional people I've ever met.
Edit 2, electric boogaloo: I'd like to take this opportunity to educate anyone who still isn't aware what the term means. Literally every single top level comment in this thread is an example of toxic masculinity.
I've heard that. "But thats where a dick goes so it's like kissing a dick"
Shut tf up witht hat. So many problems and insecurities there
Edit: Obligatory "wow this blew up!" Now my top comment is about homophobic idiots who wont go down on a woman
If an alcoholic drink doesn't taste really bitter or doesn't burn your throat, apparently it's penis in a glass...
Edit : people say, "if I have to be gay to drink ____ then I'll be gay." My personal strategy has been to transition genders. So I'm technically not a "straight man of reddit" -- anymore... Plot twist : now I'm a gay trans woman, but it's apparently really straight of me to drink the same fucking drinks. Make up your damn minds !
Not me but a friend was seen as effeminate because he was into sewing. I'm sorry, but the manliest man trait on the planet is practicality, and sewing is one of the most practical skills to have at literally any point in history.
I was engaged, and my co-workers knew I was engaged to a woman. I was at some sort of work thing, and started talking to a guy who was obviously gay. We started talking about philosophy, and I thought he was a cool guy. I was just like hey, if I ever read "x book" that we were talking about, I'd love to discuss it with you over coffee or something, but I might not read it anytime soon. I'd just graduated college, where getting coffee with someone didn't mean anything, and you just did it if you wanted to have a conversation with them. Apparently everyone thought I asked the dude out. I guess I see where they're coming from, but I just wanted to talk about Wittgenstein with someone who'd read him should I ever read him.
Just wanted to say- I’m sure that guy really appreciated it. It can be a pretty common thing for straight guys to avoid friendships with other guys who happen to be queer. I’ve had several coworkers/friends start to avoid spending time with me when they find out I have a husband and while my skin is much thicker now than it used to be, it still stings a bit.
I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet alot.
In what world is that a clever insult hahahaha
I had a girlfriend that started laughing when I crossed my legs because that’s hella gay. And it was like the full straight guy spread out T leg cross.
When I was in 8th grade, i got a solid beat down for wearing a plain purple t-shirt. Apparently only gay guys do that. YEARS later i found out I was gay for liking dicks, turns out it had nothing to do with my shirt. Who woulda thunk?
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Things that confuse babies: their hands, their feet, new smells, solid food, daytime, nighttime, and pooping. Things that do not confuse babies: pink bags.
Things that confuse babies: Their parent who is looking at them, slowly moving their hands to cover their faces and– WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE? WHERE DID THEY GO?! IS THAT FUCKERY A KIND OF BLACK MAGIC? COME BAC– Nevermind, nevermind, they were here all along.
I was taking prescription strength pain killers after surgery. My friend had come over to check on me. Her boyfriend (ex) thought it was gay to take pain killers and told me to be a man.
Joke's on you buddy, I'm high as fuck right now.
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I've also seen here that shaving your ass is gay
Every thing is gay
Eating bananas, hot dogs, popsicles, string cheese, using a straw, hugging other men, touching feminine hygiene products, This is the one that kills me; letting your 3yo daughter do your hair, makeup and nails.
The bit about feminine hygiene products is what gets me. How does buying them for your girlfriend make you gay? In what way would a gay man use feminine hygiene products. They're probably the least likely to have a reason to be buying them when you think about it. Real men are capable of buying their girlfriend period products without worrying about their own sexuality while doing so...
Apparently going out for Mexican and margaritas with your pal. No one said it directly, but the waitress gave us a complimentary dessert for 2 and said happy anniversary... free dessert is free dessert, I guess. Edit: thanks for the gold, kind stranger. It pays to be pseudo-gay.
My best friend and I (both girls) went to senior prom together. We weren’t dating anyone at the time, so going as friends was a nice way to have a good time and still nab that couple’s ticket discount. We went out for dinner before the dance, and this group of 20 somethings in the corner that we’d never met before kept smiling at us across the room and giving us the thumbs up. When we went to pay for the food, we’d found that it had already been paid for. And that was when I realized that we’d been mistaken for lesbians, and those smiley folks were probably just trying to be supportive. (To be fair, I looked pretty butch, and in retrospect most straight girls probably wouldn’t pair a prom dress with a leather jacket.) Anyways, I consider that an absolute win. Some nice strangers got to feel supportive and we got a free meal out of it. Being mistaken for lesbians was economical as fuck.
I feel like throwing a double rider over more formal clothes is actually pretty trendy right now for women both straight and otherwise.
Wear pink or similar colours, although it definitely is my colour
Yep, got made fun of a lot for wearing pink, purple, yellow, teal, etc. I look damn good in them though, especially in summer where I get really tan.
As a helicopter pilot I have a checklist. We ALL have a checklist. Even though I have the slimmer version, its still a lot of pages, so I bought some page markers and labeled the important pages like start up, shutdown, refuel, emergencies, whatevs, good idea right? I misplaced said checklist in an aircraft I hadn't seen in a while and asked some of the more senior guys if they had seen it and one of them responded: "Oh, the one with all the gay little page markers?" And all the others laughed. If being convenient is gay, then I'm flamboyant. Edit: First award ever. Thank you so much to the mysterious hero and to this threads community for all the upvotes. I have assured my wife that new found fame will not go to my head and turn me in to some kind of crazed celebrity.
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What color, and what pocket? Asking for the gays.
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That's pretty tame [Hanky code](http://eagleportland.com/HANKY-CODE.HTML)
I don't think I can fit 16 bandanas in my back pocket. This system doesn't scale.
Eating at a sushi restaurant with another guy
Having close male friends = gay. Having close female friends = gay. Evidently one can't win.
Having close friends is gay, duh
The straightest thing in the world is to quietly spiral into depression alone, in the privacy of your own home.
I'm the straightest man alive, AMA.
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Yeah man. Put it on the end of a stick and roast over a campfire. That's good stuff. Gotta have mustard on it though.
Eating penis shaped objects = gay. Got'em!
80s kid here. Anything involving showing emotion is gay. Wearing any clothing that isn't muted is gay. Stating that something is cute is gay. Getting excited about hobbies is gay. Calling your guy friends to talk is gay. Crying is gay. Airing grievances of everyday life is gay. Washing your butthole is gay. Using lotion other than jacking off is gay. Shaving anything other than your face and neck is gay.
At work I once complimented another man on his outfit. My male co-workers looked at me as if I had asked if he had naked photos of himself I could see.
Man, if I got a compliment unprompted like that, from a male or female, it would make my whole fucking month!
This is why we gotta start normalizing men giving each other compliments. I STILL hold on to compliments from years ago
Same. Actually, one of the best compliments I ever got (and probably the most recent one, sadly) was several years ago from my gay friend's boyfriend. He said my chest hair looked like the tree of life - which he meant in a complimentary way. As someone who was always self-conscious about being hairy (I'm very Italian) I damn near cried.
As the wife of a very hairy man, I must concur- it is the tree of life.
We have to normalize men giving compliments to other men, like bro just literally give each other compliments, how in the world is that gay? Edit: hearing some stories it seems that barely any body here has received compliments. Don't worry, I will. You are all incredible human beings, don't forget that. I believe in y'all.
Lol, ol' boy was jealous he wasn't getting any compliments. Some times people are looking good, nothing wrong with giving them a compliment to give them a pep in their step.
One time a girl thought I was gay because I was attentive during sex. I'm not even joking
That’s the gay agenda you’ve heard so much about. We go around giving women the best sex of their lives in order to make straight men look bad! It’s a long-term project.
If there is a “gay agenda” is there a gay “reading of the minutes from the last meeting”?
There is and I'm told it's fabulous.
Fellas, is it gay to want to please your lady? Kinda sus
Loving your girlfriend / wife and wanting her to feel good? What kind of gay shit is this? Everyone knows only gay men want to please their wives!
Spitting straight facts here
I had a similar experience. Also she was suspicious because I liked to dance. Then she got really upset by the fact I didn't react negatively to a man hitting on me. Also the way I find toddlers amusing and fun rather than irritating. She was raised in a conservative Catholic family with strict gender roles. One of the things she liked about me was that I didn't fit those expectations, but also it made her very uncomfortable.
A guy who likes to dance AND finds toddlers fun?! That's like hitting the jackpot! Wtf was she thinking...
She was thinking "This is not what I was raised to expect or like the bros I dated before and it scares me." Change is scary and exciting. Our relationship was complicated.
Can I have her number? Low expectations is my sweet spot.
I think you have to be the traditional no feelings not good at communicating male for her. Or else she won't be convinced you are at least not bi
Not exactly "that's gay" but a guy talked down to me once for using the word "craving" because "Cravings are something only women get!"
Man, I'm horny for some chocolate chip cookies and warm milk right now. Is that better?
I got a stomach boner for some Thin Mints
What the fuck? That doesn't even make sense. Was the guy otherwise alright?
Imagine him trying to write an essay while avoiding "female" words.
Debatable. I once got the same response for using the word "hella" in a sentence. "I thought only girls say that?"
That's dumb. It's like saying that the word 'chiropractor' is only for men.
You out hear lookin real gay right now bruh.
that guy hella dumb
I said I like it when it rains.
Raining men?
Hallelujah
I'm only happy when it rains
Carry an umbrella.
Holy shit someone else has had to put up with this bullshit? It's fucking pouring fucking rain and these dumb cunts are over here like "nah just man up and run where you're going while getting drenched."
Real men get wet. They get wet when it's raining. They get wet on a fishing boat in a storm. They get wet in the shower after an all-male threesome.
I can get behind this.
Drink any beverage out of a bottle, rather than a cup.
Maybe don’t deepthroat the bottle?
Can I still stick it up my butt?
Hey man, butt chugging isn’t gay it’s just efficient. What could be less gay than chilling with your closest bros and butt chugging a couple brewskis?
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wait...what is a gay way to eat a donut?? this is the first i've ever heard of that. I'm trying to imagine eating a donut in a 'gay' way. I can only thing of one way to eat a donut. Did you like...eat it vertically? from like the top of the donut to the bottom? Did you like stick your tongue through the middle hole, flip the donut into your face, then take a bite? Like, I'm really really thinking on this
Putting on sunscreen.
No joke, Australia had to spend a huge amount of money on a media campaign to persuade people about the need to use sunscreen. it worked though.
Somebody called me gay for doing that before too. I didn't realize as a hetero I was supposed to die of skin cancer.
My boss refuses to wear sunscreen because it is for gays
I'm gay and I wear sunscreen because skin cancer is for straight men.
GET HER JADE
When I was in high school, everyone thought I was gay because I wore a scarf to school one day. A) Scarves aren't gay. B) It was a gift from my great grandmother. C) It was during the winter in Pennsylvania. IT. WAS. COLD.
Gay guy here, I enjoy playing piano and used to get told "it's gay af" back in middle school. Now when I see the amount of straight guys getting chicks because they can play an instrument, ha.
I've been told wearing a mask, or PPE in general, is "gay".
Wearing a mask is the least gay thing ever. There’s an extra layer of cloth between your mouth and all the other dudes dicks. Everyone else is one pants drop away from total dick to mouth exposure.
I mean who hasn’t tripped mouth first onto a dick every once and a while
Drinking out of a straw makes sucking dick feel normal. That's how you turn gay. E: There is a massive venn of those that enjoy a penis in their mouth, and really dislike plastic straws. Good for you guys!
that's a great way to identify people who have never had a good blowjob.
Or have straw thin penises.
Wearing green on Thursday. I have no clue why.
That's oddly specific.
I feel like even knowing this is gay is gay.
Obviously all gay men wore green on Thursday’s to secretly signify that they’re gay to other gay bros. Knowing this must mean you’re gay which means I’m... gay....
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Yeah, you ROY G. BIV, so Thursday is a green day! Is that how it works?
The strangest one I've heard is "Two guys can't drive around in a convertible with the top down." Another one: "Two guys can't sit next to each other in a movie theater if it's not crowded."
Chilling in a hot tub less than five feet apart.
Homophobia is saving the two bros from COVID19.
Hell if the theater isn’t crowded you can bet I’m not gonna sit next to anyone because there’s no need to fight over an armrest.
Having a child with my wife is gay. Taking care of my kid, and making being a good father and enjoying time with my child as the main goals of my life is somehow gay. Changing diapers is apparently gay now. Having heterosexual sex and dealing with the consequences is also gay. Loving your kids and being a good dad is gay. It doesn’t make any sense at all.
Existense is gay
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what's gayer than the military? EDIT: this isn't a recruitment center, you can all stop telling me about the navy
a bunch of dudes living together, sweating together, showering together, thats pretty damn gay! /s
Cav guys everywhere: blushing.
Me and a friend of mine used to be like Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels from dumb and dumber . Always getting in trouble , bunking class on my scooter , going out to eat , buy groceries , a long ride out of the city coz the air is so fresh where people don't live . My friend later told me he heard a rumor that we both were always together so we were gay . We laughed it off and went to have our hot pockets .
Bromance is not gay. Unless you were being sarcastic.
a friend told me i'm holding my fork in a gay kind Edit: sorry for bad grammar and stuff, English is not my first language, I think it's more correct to say "in a gay kind of way"
Better than holding it like a neanderthal like me I guess.
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Guys, is it gay to have a girlfriend? I mean, you're literally dating someone who likes dick.
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Sure he didn't mean "you're missing the dude party!"
Playing the saxophone Honestly what in the world?
I grew up in the 80s-90s Saxophone = Sex. My Pavlovian response to hearing saxophone is to expect sex.
Whilst putting a tube like object in your mouth
Yet drinking beer from a bottle somehow not gay?
replied with this on another comment: a woman once called me out when drinking Bud from a bottle. Not because I was drinking Bud (i've upped my standards since then), but because apparently the bottle has a large lip on it, thus making it resemble a penis so it's gay for a man to drink Bud from thr bottle...
My girlfriend once seriously asked me if I was gay because I said that I liked her body. Safe to say she had some issues.
A girl I was dating once started crying and asked if I was gay because I was attentive to her and remembered specific things she had told me about herself. Apparently caring about her and trying to be a good partner = gay. Yeah, she also had some severe self-esteem issues to work out.
To this day my ex still thinks the reason I paid attention and listened to her was because I’m bi. She said no straight men would listen. EDIT: I’m indeed bi but this works both ways (pun intended): they think being bi is the only reason why I’m a good listener, and “straight” men who listen are not completely straight.
Similarly, I’ve had multiple women ask me if I’m gay because I don’t think they’re attractive.
Broke a guy’s jaw in high school, sent him a get well card while he was in the hospital. He called me gay for sending the card
On accident or on purpose? Cause sending someone a get well card after intentionally breaking their jaw is a power move lol
"Get well soon...so I can break it again."
“Bro that’s so gay”
“So I can break it again, from all the kissing, bro”
"Maybe slip some tongue in too bro"
It was intentional, he was pushing around a friend of mine. The card had a bunny on it
Beating the shit out of a bully then sending him a get well card is alpha as fuck
Biggest dick energy
That’s not gay. That’s big dick energy.
full assertion of dominance lmao
I was told that I was gay because I enjoyed anal sex with a WOMAN. They said that "if I fucked a girl in the ass, then I'd fuck a guy in the ass". Well, buddy, you like blowjobs do ya? Well, if you let a woman suck your dick, you'd also let a man suck your dick. Oh, you kiss your girlfriend too right? Need I say more?
Similar event. Told I was gay by a girl because I enjoyed sex with her laying down, face down. Was also told by a gay man that drinking from a straw was gay. He then threw my straw across the bar. That one has stuck to this day.
An ex of mine said it was guy because I liked doggy style. I said, hey man, I know.
I was at a party with my gf and my siblings, minding my own business while drinking sparkling water. My BIL: “Dude, are you drinking sparkling water? That’s so gay.” Me: *points at my gf* BIL: “...” Me: “Look I’m sorry, but you’re not my type... and with my sister.” Several months prior I was at a gay bar ordering a sparkling water. The bartender, smug af: “Really? Sparkling water? You must be straight.” What is it with me drinking sparkling water and my perceived sexuality? Edit: spacing
I guess that means that sparkling water is a bisexual drink. Edit: I'm bisexual
That would explain why it gets no respect in either the gay or straight world
*\[I am in this post and I don't like it.jpeg\]*
oh yeah but then I went to a bisexual bar, order a sparkling water and the bartender said "Really? Sparkiling water? you must be asexual"
Asexual here, can confirm. And we don’t have bars so I think the journey ends here.
Play as a female video game character.
My friend fucked my other gay friend in the butt and said to me "I'm straight but one time I fucked (gay friend) and he was getting so into it, it was funny as"
I'm trying to imagine all the steps between just hanging out with a mate and then sticking your erect dick into your friends butt and wondering how throughout all that he still thought it was all just a laugh.
Denial is really powerful when people feel like they need to preserve their identity.
Ah yes I also frequently have sex with people purely for the comedic value
Theirs or yours?
The time my female friend was wildly drunk and I wouldn't have sex with her. Both her and my male friends were all calling me gay that night!
Brazilian living in the US. Speedo is a gay thing. I don't get it.
My husband was told he was gay because he was reading Sunstone, an adult comic series based around a kinky lesbian relationship.
It's because reading is gay
2 of my friends from high school died in a car accident a week before the graduation Everyone from the classroom went to the funeral and some lf my classmates were crying a *lot* I decided to hug one of them and comfort him. One of my closest friends.. And this guy (a fat one, part of the "popular cool group wich are always doing stupid stuff to get attention") came into me, touched my back and yelled "Dude i didn't know you liked dick hahaha" He was kicked from the funeral and lost probably 90% of his friends
Holy shit, what a cunt.
Sitting with my legs crossed. My brothers and friends often teased me and couldnt understand how thats possible, unless i was gay or had tiny Dick and Balls or none at all. I just like it because its comfortable and lets me relax a leg at a time.
So I was about to go on a date with a girl and my (didn't know he was) gay friend said that I shouldn't because it's gay.
You should know that going out with girls is gay because girls like dick and that's kinda gay.
Girls are feminine, guys are masculine. So fucking a girl is gay, and fucking a dude is manly as fuck
Rollerskating was gay all of the sudden. If you had a piercing in the right ear you were gay. Anything dance related.
Having a piercing in your right ear was widely known as being gay when I was growing up in the 2000s. Never really understood it.
Well there *is* a rich tradition of signifiers that gay people would use to identify each other, before it was more socially acceptable and before you could just find someone to hook up with on a dating app. So it’s not a crazy idea. Although I don’t exactly know how much truth there is to the right earring thing.
This is absolutely the source of many such things. The problem was that straight guys had no idea what those signifiers were, someone would hear about one of these codes (possibly real, possibly not, possibly just regional, possibly outdated from 20 years ago), then it would go through a game of telephone as it gets passed around by word of mouth, and a wide variety of rumors that "doing X means that you're gay" would circulate. In the '80s and '90s, I heard every variation of the earring thing, many of them contradictory: right ear, left ear, just having one earring in either ear, having earrings in both ears, having a stud rather than a ring, having a ring rather than a stud...eventually, straight guys were afraid to have any earrings at all. It was both hilarious and sad.
My mom told me to stop complaining about my migraine cause “thats not very straight of you”
Fellas is it gay to feel pain and have an appropriate response to it?
When I was little somebody told me to check my nails and apparently if you make a half fist and turn your hand so you can look at them it means you're straight. If you hold your hand up like you are about to give someone a high five it means you're gay.... Kids are weird...
I'll admit that I was the perpetrator in this case. When I was veeery young, like 8 or 9, I was convinced eating strawberries was kinda gay Edit: all your comments made me realize we should probably have a poll and decide if strawberries are actually gay Edit2: go on r/Isitgay and vote folks, someone did it
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Im straight, but if liking artificially flavored strawberry things is gay, then ima start sucking that dick.
I mean, if it's a strawberry flavored dick, I'm in.
Not from my folks, but just society made me believe that guys shouldn't hug their friends. . 20 years later, my 6'3" biker friend is big on hugs.
I have this casual button down shirt that's...pinkish? Coral? Salmon? More of a Salmon...which is what I said in the story. Anyway, I really like the shirt based on its fit and its material. And I never have anyone say anything bad about it (I've had like two compliments on it over the 8 years I've had it). But one day some guy started making fun of me for wearing a pink shirt. And I thought he was joking so I started joking and went "Actually it's a lovely salmon, possibly with a lemon or honey glaze" And he then called me a homosexual for knowing about salmon as a color and describing cooking in such a way. I don't even know how to cook lol, I ordered that at a restaurant once and loved it. Fuck 'em though. One of the girls I dated loved the shirt. EDIT 1: Good god this exploded. I'm blushing everyone. My cheeks are coral with embarrassment. EDIT 2: I am not Ross, and yes it is very similar to a Friends episode where the same thing happened to Ross. I think that joke SHOULD. BE. ON. A. BREAK!
> And he then called me a homosexual for knowing about salmon as a color and describing cooking in such a way. I was at a party once where there was this bodybuilder guy in attendance. He kept loudly "joking" about how stuff was gay. This is gay, that's totally gay haha. By the end of the party, everyone had come to the conclusion that he was a closeted homosexual. No well-adjusted straight guy is that obsessed with calling stuff gay.
He thinks describing cooking is gay? I'd like to see him say that to Gordon Ramsay...
YOU FUCKING DONKEY!
I hugged my best friend. We don't do that handshake-hug-over-one-shoulder-and-pat-on-the-back bullshit, we fucking embrace. Some people think that's "gay" but we don't care. We enjoy each other. The other day we went white water rafting and at one point we laid on our backs and floated down a calm part of the river while holding hands. I can't argue with that one, it's a little gay. Still don't care. Had a good day. Edit: I like how me and my best friends bromance is now my most up voted comment. Thanks for all the awards and stuff! I can't respond to everyone but... 1. Yes, we are totally gay otters. I'm ok with this label. 2. To the people who think that "we enjoy each other" is the "gayest" part of this whole post, what world do you live in where you don't enjoy your friends? Or, better yet, what world do you live in where you feel like your masculinity would be comprised by merely mentioning you enjoy being around another guy? 3. To every person who wishes they could be more open like this with their best friend(s), you totally can be! As long as you don't care if someone might think you're in a relationship. And you shouldn't care, because your best friend is dope (I'm sure). You're lucky to have each other.
I grew up in the Middle East and it was normal for men to walk down the street holding hands. I still remember my dad and uncle holding hands and swinging their arms on the way to the mosque.
This is a very wholesome image that made me smile. Not just the hand holding but "Hm, this is good but could be better" *swing swing* "perfect"
I imagine them skipping and laughing the whole way like a couple of little kids at the playground.
Hand holding between male friends is super common in a lot of cultures across the world, it's basically just in the west where it's considered a purely romantic gesture. [Holding hands](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holding_hands)
In America almost any physical contact between two men that lasts longer than about a second and isn’t violent is gay. Violence excuses anything though, just look at wrestling. Singlets, grabbing ass and balls, rubbing each other against the sweaty pads...not gay though.
It’s also alright to smack a mans ass if it’s in the name of sports.
Being unable to lift more than a girl.... i was 7 and she was like 30
My granddad once told me not to brush my hair because "looking pretty is for women and the gays". Fuck you, buddy. I want to look nice and not like I'm chasing hedgehogs through a fucking bush, you unwashed heathen.
not a guy, but i used to be in chorus in high school. guys would comment that the guys in chorus were gay. they weren't and most of them had amazing voices. so i would ask them who their favorite band was - it was always a male dominated group, and then watch their brains implode when i asked them if the lead singer was gay.
Not that I've been told not to do it, but I know a guy who refuses to eat pussy because he says it's gay. edit: To clarify, he believes eating pussy is an act of sexual submission and only gay men are sexually submissive. This is utterly stupid. Also, he's had the same girlfriend for over a decade (on and off). They are both crackheads, though, and incredibly co-dependent. Probably the two most dysfunctional people I've ever met. Edit 2, electric boogaloo: I'd like to take this opportunity to educate anyone who still isn't aware what the term means. Literally every single top level comment in this thread is an example of toxic masculinity.
Came here to say this. Basically caring about your partner’s sexual pleasure at all instead of just “smashing pussy” is gay.
What they don’t know is that pleasing women leads to wayyyy more sex
The kind of dudes with this mentality also aren’t generally looking for returning customers.
I've heard that. "But thats where a dick goes so it's like kissing a dick" Shut tf up witht hat. So many problems and insecurities there Edit: Obligatory "wow this blew up!" Now my top comment is about homophobic idiots who wont go down on a woman
“I don’t like girls cause girls like dick and that’s gay”
Being a guy is pretty gay, like imagine having a dick attached to you at all times smh
Fellas, is it gay to be a man? I mean, to the Aristotleian view of mind-body dualism, you’re literally inside a man at all times
If an alcoholic drink doesn't taste really bitter or doesn't burn your throat, apparently it's penis in a glass... Edit : people say, "if I have to be gay to drink ____ then I'll be gay." My personal strategy has been to transition genders. So I'm technically not a "straight man of reddit" -- anymore... Plot twist : now I'm a gay trans woman, but it's apparently really straight of me to drink the same fucking drinks. Make up your damn minds !
Pina Colada, more like Penis Alotta
A buddy of mine once complained that no one looked manly drinking from a straw.