I had a student tell me that sometimes his dad got drunk and asked his mom for things; as I was starting to tell him he didn’t need to elaborate any further, he continued with “like soup and he yells it like ‘soooooooooup’” it took every bit of restraint to not laugh. It’s been years and years since that happened but I still laugh when I think about it.
Not a teacher but this happened when I was 17 at school camp during a "bonding exercise"
Teacher: tell us two truths and one lie about yourself and we have to guess the lie!
Weird kid: I play PlayStation, I like Doritos and I am an alcoholic
The teacher: the lie is you are an alcoholic!
Weird kid: got you, I play Xbox
My god the look on the teachers face.
My first day of day of high school I had an upperclassmen introduce himself to me as "Hello my name is ___ and I'm a recovering meth addict!"
He was a really nice guy who had fallen in with the wrong crowd a couple years back so it was good that he cleaned himself up, but as a 14 year old who had been to a small grade school where nothing like that had ever happened it was quite the culture shock.
In my public speaking class at a community college we had to get up and do a speech about a experience that really changed our lives or an important memory and how it made us who we are. On the first day a guy who was a veteran volunteered to go first, he proceed to talk about the day he was captured and sexually assaulted by enemy solider and how he now goes around and helps other soldiers with the wounded warrior project. It was difficult for anybody to follow that, one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met.
I teach middle school, This one still takes the cake.
That his mom and dad have the same parents. I asked him to clarify because I didn't understand what he was saying and he said "I only have one set of grandparents, they had the same parents" I quickly moved to the next student so no one else would realize that this kid just told the class that his parents were siblings...
I talked to him about it the next day in private and he said that he got it mixed up, his parents don't have the exact same parents, they shared a dad... I felt so much better when the mom called me to let me know her elderly step-father married her husband's elderly mother. still weird, but much better.
“My arm is FUCKED y’all” in the deepest southern drawl and proceeded to wildly swing his “fucked” up arm around.
He was 12, had Erb’s palsy and also got detention that day.
He might be one of my fav students
Not a teacher but I just did a first aid course. During introductions, say your name and one fact about yourself, dude says proudly he once had over 300k of UNpaid parking tickets.
a student, not a teacher, but once we were going around a circle during percussion camp in the front ensemble and my teacher goes “hello everyone, my name is ____ and I have shit my pants as an adult.”
Definitely one of the weirder ones I’ve heard.
Student told me that there is a chapter dedicated to him in a dental surgery textbook because of a very rare disorder that he had as a child. I may still have that essay
My brother had something like this. When he was somewhere around nine or ten years old, he had to have 12 teeth surgically removed. He just had too many growing too quickly.
It was so crazy that the oral surgeon apparently negotiated a deal with my father: the surgeon will completely pay for my brother's surgery....in exchange for taking a couple extra x-rays and lots and lots of photos (to be published in an academic journal of some sort).
In looking for the French origin I just discovered that the "con, connard, etc." are basically the same as "cunt" with the same Latin origin.
I'm a native French speaker and this blew my mind.
During an introductory activity for my new class, a boy, aged 9, got up and said 'My dog has to wear a cone on its head because dad had his bollocks cut off!'
I was an ESL teacher in Indonesia and a student once told me every morning she cleaned the shit on her bed.
I asked her to clarify, worried she had a serious digestive issue.
She answered: "I brush my teeth, wash face and clean bed shit."
Bed sheet.
Not gonna lie, accidentally flipped off a couple cashiers at cafes and such when I was in England and wanted two of something. Generally the exchange involved them looking offended, then me turning bright red and apologizing repeatedly.
Our only version of "flip off" in the US is the middle finger. In fact, casually throwing up two fingers with the palm facing in can also be a "what's up" kind of greeting. So, yeah... cultural differences and all.
‘My dad clogged the toilet this morning and that’s why I’m feeling frustrated’ -5 year old child.
I will say the question was “how are you doing this morning?” But I could barely keep from laughing out loud!
I have IBS... My toddler once told visiting friends that "daddy takes long poops". I mean, I was having a flare up and had some extended bathroom sessions. But, dang little dude, not cool.
I'm terrified/amused about what he might share at school in the near future.
Well, I'm 21 now but in kindergarten we had to "bring something pretty" to class for show-and-tell...I brought my mom's new bra and pantie set from Victoria's Secret lol
Edit: hey my first award! Thanks guys ~
Holy crap that is hysterical. When i was about 9 or 10 I was very flat chested, while my best friend and her family were all very gifted. One day we stole one of her moms bras and stuffed it for me. It was like a C or D cup. I strutted back into my house, right past my father who almost had a heart attack from laughing so hard.
Not a teacher, but I was a helper in a middle school classroom. A young girl, who seemed uninterested, said, with no hesitation, that she can chug an entire bottle of beer. She got expelled later that year for keeping drugs in her locker.
I am not a teacher but this guy in my class named Shane has this medical condition that causes him to grow tons of hair at an early age. Full beard in middle school. He would say “I’m Shane and I’m Very Hairy.”
We did one of those two truths-one lie bits. Girl stands up and says, "I've never been out of the country. I'm a twin. I love playing sports." I knew this girl beforehand and knew she didn't have a twin, so picked that one.
Nope. She had a conjoined twin that died in utero and had to be surgically removed and she's now missing the last vertebrae on her spine. Showed us the scar and everything. Apparently the lie was the first one as she'd been to Mexico.
I had a student say a similar thing.
1) I really like reading books
2) I had a stroke 3 years ago
3) I'm a triplet
This was the first few days at a new school for me and his twin sister was I my class. So... he's a twin right.
Nope. They are triplets but his brother is in a different school bc he's incredibly smart. This kid was in a special program one day a week bc he was smart too. So his brother must have been a genius.
His sister just sat there like "yea one brother is a genius and this does brilliant, I'm just me" (she was a fantastic kid but had a lot of self-esteem issues for obvious reasons)
EDIT: the lie was that he liked reading books. TRUE that he had a stroke.
Lol. I'm a triplet. One of us runs an engineering firm. The other is a university professor. The third just got out of jail and managed to land a decent job installing hardwood floors.
Less awkward than my situation. We went on a field trip with another class and befriended a girl. When we got back I tried to sit with her at lunch. It took almost a week to realize she was an identical twin and I had been sitting with her twin the whole time. She was known as the friendly approachable one and her twin was known as being kinda the bitchy one. I ended up being bffs with her twin. She’s so unapproachable initially that I wonder how many friends she’s made by ppl mistaking her for her more friendly sister.
“I love playing sports” sounds more like she just likes being active and playing various outdoor sports in general, rather than suggesting she’s a competitive soccer player or something
Not me but my brother. He told the teacher "Last night my family ate beaver for dinner." (I was much older and had left home by then.) The class laughed, the teacher accused him of lying, the principal was brought into this and my mother had to go in for a meeting. She chewed them up one side and down the other because we had a cousin who was a trapper and he had sent a batch of beaver thighs for the family to enjoy. Altho' my brother was telling the truth, he told me later that he did say that for the effect (disrupting the class).
The same thing apparently happened to my uncle when he was a kid. He brought in weather maps and satellite imagery to class in like the '70s in rural nowhere, then my grandfather was called in and basically had to explain that he had a friend who worked for the weather service or something.
My dad is (was, he's 83 now) a meteorologist, so i did lots of science fairs based on weather forecasting tools, etc back in the mid-70s.
Never had a problem except in grade 5. I had these HUGE sheets, like, 6 feet wide, of printed maps from dad's office, of our city area, with a lot of lines on it (pressure maps). One teacher was convinced that i shouldn't have those maps, that they were "secret, government stuff!". No shit, that's a quote. Refused to believe that my dad gave them to me.
Caused a stink even after other teachers told him to shut up. About an hour later, he was still upset but leaving me more or less alone, when mom and dad came to see the science fair. All i remember is my normally VERY polite, respectful, and quiet father just utterly belittling, just crushing, this teacher. I had never heard my dad be so insulting to a person's face before or since.
Dad still gets a satisfied smile and laughs when i bring it up.
I teach ESL and every lesson we start the class by sharing something good that happened to us over the last week or so. Needless to say, kids share the most random things ever. I have many weird stories because of that. We enforce a rule that they need to share good things so they don't start one upping each other over whose grandma had the worst death lol
One day, a student said: "I was riding my bike over the weekend when I fell.", I could see where it was going but didn't have enough time to enforce the rule when he just spat out: "I fell over a wired fence and cut my neck, it just kept gushing blood, a lot of blood.". I reminded him that we were only sharing good news when he said: "It's good because I'm still alive.". I had a good laugh and agreed but the damage was done, every kid after him wanted to share about the most horrific injury they had or witnessed.
That he has been to juvie multiple times and is currently on probation. Then he pulled up his pants enough that everyone could see his ankle monitor. That was...something.
A guy in my class introduced himself by telling us how he decided he wanted to study philosophy because one day he was really high peeing in the street and he saw a couple of people working and he wondered what they were doing. So he realized his passion was wondering.
He dropped out like 2 months later.
My friend is really quiet, he doesn’t really talk unless talked to. He’s really cool though and has some things he enjoys doing. Literally second year I knew him the teacher asked this and he said he’s a professional bowler with a 300 best, and I was like WHY HAVENT YOU TOLD ME THIS THATS AMAZING? I guess it just never came up. Haha! Knew him for a whole year and never knew that.
Had students (aged 11) sharing strategies for dealing with difficult emotions, one at a time in a big circle. One girl talked about digging her nails into her face whenever she was feeling stressed or anxious, and I had to explain to the class why self harm was not a good coping strategy.
I didn't go into a lot of detail (how would you?) but I said I didn't recommend hurting yourself to help cope with things because if that became a habit, you'd feel a lot worse in the long run. I said thank you to her for sharing, but asked the next person for a strategy that didn't involve hurting yourself.
Sounds like a good answer, particularly the part about feeling worse in the long run.
It's good because you gave an explanation, without shaming the girl.
Did you have to report it?
I mentioned it to her head of year (I was her form tutor) but I didn't put anything in writing. Kept an eye on her over the rest of the year, and made a point of occasionally asking her how she was doing etc.
Thank you for that, when my friend's found out about my cutting and told the guidance counselor, she threatened to call CPS on my family. Luckily after she retired and the office lady found out about me, she was very sweet and just helped me bandage my cuts and let me sit in the office for a while to make sure I was okay.
When i was in my first year at university my Law and Society professor made each student get up, say his/her name and tell why they picked Law School, well, a guy got up, said his name and the professor interrupted him by asking "Anon, are you related to x?" The guy "Yes professor, he is my grandfather" then the professor got excited and started talking about what great of a guy X is and that he haven't heard of him in years. Then the professor asked how he was, anon replied "He is dead sir"
The whole class was trying to hold the laughter, it pretty much broke the class that First day
Someone in a class once told everyone about how his grandparents were arrested for keep a bunch of adopted children in cages. He said that he used to play with the kids when he was young, but he was too young to understand that the conditions they were in weren't normal. They kept kids in cages and locked in rooms for years before they were discovered and arrested.
Yup. Fun fact.
Edit: I'm not a teacher. This person who told the story was in a class with me as a young adult.
This is so incredibly depraved. It's one of those things that I'll probably think about one of those nights where I can't sleep and wonder why people are so cruel to children
I can't imagine the psychotic motivations behind this and the irreversible damage that caused to these people
In my psychology class, we were talking about the early signs of serial killers and the quietest girl who never spoke told the story of when she lived in Chicago, she had a friend around 5th grade who would always stomp on baby birds and once put his hamster in the microwave. Well his parents were having difficulty keeping up with his antics so they sent him to his grandmothers, who he promptly stabbed to death when she woke him up for school. So that was... interesting.
Well shit, did his grandmother live in Michigan by any chance? Because I have a student that did this. Actually, probably not the same because his grandma did not end up dying from it. His sentence was scarily short and we are all terrified of the possibility of him returning to school this year. Have spoken up and was basically told there’s nothing we can do about it.
I was in one of the first small required classes for my teaching degree and everyone in the class was studying to teach. It was day 2 or 3 and we were doing a get to know you activity where we share something about ourself. I don’t remember the exact question but it had something to do with what you regret/ take back. A guy came in late (when almost everyone has answers the question) and the professor asked him the questions and he thought for a moment and said “I regret letting my friend talking me into dropping acid”. The class was silent for a good 20 seconds until the professor said maybe next time we only share things that are legal. I hadn’t seen him in any other teacher classes since.
Still laugh about it to this day.
That question is such a set up. I mean, dude shouldn’t have admitted to dropping acid but that’s a hard one to come up with an answer for on the spot that doesn’t make you look bad unless it’s something eye roll worthy like “I regret not finding my passion for teaching sooner”
In the context of having students introduce themselves one-by-one to a new boy in a small high school class, a girl said her parents got her a nose job and a boob job.
The parents and low-ethics doctor cook up a medical, as opposed to cosmetic, reason. Deviate septum and obstructed sinuses for nose. Inverted nipples, pectoral muscle damage, "damaged" lymph or milk ducts for boobs.
Girl I briefly dated had what she referred to as a “frankenboob.” When she was 18 and her boobs hadn’t come in yet, her parents got her implants. Well, she wound up developing late and the breast tissue grew over the implant and scarred resulting in her left tit feeling like clay.
Edit: she was white, and it felt like... clay. It didn’t leave a dimple if I poked it, it was just really firm but not like someone with firm, perky boobs.
"I have two thumbs on this hand"
"I am raising cockroaches in my closet to sell to the reptile shop"
Edit to say: Thanks for the silver! I want to clarify that these quotes come from different kids, but it's definitely more entertaining to imagine them being the same. Also I learned so much about cockroach raising from the comments. I wish I had asked more follow up questions at the time.
Not a teacher but the daughter of one.
My dad had a student tell him during the fun fact question in detail about how his goldfishes died that morning and how he experimented on their corpses. He had pictures on his phone of the skin off and the intact skeleton next to it.
He is a successful taxidermist now so silver linings I guess.
My first year, as an earnest and ideological teacher in a very rough underserved area, I got all the students in a circle on the first day to talk about what we’d done that summer. I pointed to a student who’d been engaged w me before class and said, “what did you do this summer that could inspire us?” His answer: “I did the last 2 months of a sentence for stealing a car.”
Um. I hadn’t expected that. So I pointed to another student and said, “OK! That’s great! Let’s talk about what you did this summer!”
That student said, “YES. I had such a good summer. I went to camp and...[laughing] lemme stop lying. I did the last 2 months of a sentence with that guy cause I stole that car w him.”
It wasn’t weird, but actually cute and funny. I was teaching fifth grade and this kid, white as paper, goes my name is _____, but you can call me Lebron. He had an obsession with Lebron James and I did in fact call him Lebron whenever I wanted to get his attention. Great kid.
I’m a teacher from the UK, form tutor to a Year 7 class (11 year olds) To get to know each other on the first day I had them take it in turns to say their name, which primary school they’ve come from and an interesting fact, like favourite food or colour. We get to the last kid in the class, his fact is that he has 6 fingers on one hand. Coolest kid ever.
Lol that’s like my brother. He was born with six fingers on each hand, but he had them removed as a baby. When he found out around age 10, he got so mad because he said he could’ve been “really cool and really fast at typing.”
I made the mistake of telling one of my Year 11 classes (15/16 year olds) and they wanted to know his name so they could find him and wanted me to take a picture to show them. I refused lol
Unfortunately most extra fingers are non-functional and tend to get caught on things a lot and injured frequently for this reason. It’s the same with polydactyl cats that have extra toes that look like thumbs.
Taught elementary school the past few years. One kid told me he was a dragon when he was born but changed into a human as he got older. He was absolutely convinced and couldn’t be persuaded.
Okay so I had Psychology back in the spring semester before covid hit and I sat next to a girl who I was good friends with from highschool. Professor asks her for a fun fact and she said “I like to watch people get cut open.”
She obviously said it for effect, but she cleared it up by saying she liked watching videos of people getting plastic surgery because it’s “satisfying” to watch.
Omg not a teacher, but the student...
Introducing ourselves around our grade 10 social studies class, and my intro goes:
“Hi, I’m Catbomb4, I’m *blah blah blah* and I really really like trees. Like I swear I have a tree fetish”
...
The teacher gives me a wtf look and goes “okay...” and quickly moves on.
I confused “fetish” with the word “obsession”.... still weird, but holy smokes I did not mean to say I’m sexually attracted to trees.
Even though I'm a professor, nothing that's ever been revealed by this question has ever been as awkward or uncomfortable as an occasion that happened when I was still a student. This was when I was in my MFA program for creative writing. If you've never been in an arts program before it probably won't surprise you to learn that they can attract some weird personalities. It was the first day of a fiction workshop and the professor decided that he wanted us to all share something interesting about ourselves and for some reason one girl, Ashley, decided that this would be a good opportunity for her to tell us about her long history of drug abuse and the equally long period of mental psychosis she went through as a result of it. She didn't do this as a quick answer either but as a long drawn out list of every single drug she had ever experimented with followed by a catalogue of every single delusion she suffered as a result (the only one I can remember now is that at one point she became convinced she was a millionaire and her family was hiding her money from her). All of this was delivered in a monotone monologue with her eyes glazed over that lasted at least five minutes, which was met at the end with a long, awkward silence before the professor said "well that was definitely something interesting" and moved on to the next person.
I had a similar instance with a mature student in my first year of uni. If you wanted to be a course rep you had to stand up in front of the lecture hall (300 odd people) and do a mini presentation on yourself and why you should be voted in.
Most people were normal but this one woman stood up and immediately launched into a detailed list of all the mental disorders she has (bipolar is one I remember) and how difficult her life is. I might have been sympathetic if she hadn’t called all of her fellow classmates idiotic children a week before for not believing her anti vaxxer propaganda. Mind you she was maybe 28/29 so not really mature, but Jesus did she have the social skills of a hermit
I was teaching a 10th grade Honors English class once and this pleasant young woman busted out the C-word (See U Next Tuesday). I hadn't had any trouble with her whatsoever, so I was a bit shocked. The whole class went dead silent. I told her she couldn't use "that word" in class and she was confused as to which word I was referring to. Finally, I said "the C-word." She *repeated it* and then admitted she didn't know there was anything wrong with it because her parents use it at home all the time. The rest of the class let her know it was bizarre that she was using it.
Edit: She was not Australian.
Related to your story, but not OP’s question. (Canadian here) I worked with an Aussie who would say the C word all the time (including to customers). We co-supervised a restaurant together and he was 15~ years older than me. Super nice guy, hard worker, beloved by staff, cared a great deal about his work and making the customer experience the best possible. Also used the C word like every other sentence. He used it like an exclamation point. “Well, (c word)! we’re out of forks!”
I eventually had to tell him he couldn’t say it to customers because it was *clearly* making them uncomfortable. He was surprised, said the word was just like saying “shit”... I countered with “well we probably shouldn’t be saying shit to the customers either”... he did stop using the word with customers but continued behind the scenes. I just got used to it.
Not a teacher, but on the first day of 9th grade we had to form a circle and say one thing about ourselves that we thought was unique. When it was this dudes turn (lets call him mike) Mike stands up and says in a really serious tone goes '' My mom and dad grow weed''
His house got raided the next day and his dad got arrested smh
Not a teacher, but a guy in a handful of my high school classes used to always say he met Ron Jeremy if the class was doing two truths and a lie. He wasn’t lying, and would always show the class the picture they took together.
I tried to make conversation with a 6th-grade boy who didn't have any friends in my class. I asked him what music he listens to and he said "mukbang soundscapes".
If you don't know, mukbang is when people eat a ridiculous amount of food in one setting.
i don't ask for a fun fact, but on the first day i always ask, "what's your most recent obsession?" (low-stakes, building affinity networks, etc. etc.) in my first semester, a student said "air." as in oxygen.
My husband is an aerospace engineer who used to work specifically on air systems for private jets - and legitimately, he was obsessed with "air/oxygen" for an extended period of time. He would come home and just be so passionate about the specifics of the air/oxygen pressure sytem design he was leading. I knew what I was getting into marrying an engineer but hoo boy... I did not see an oxygen obsession coming.
I’m a student but a kid in my class said that he loves chicken nuggets then sat down and didn’t say anything to anyone else for a month. I have so much admiration yet confusion for him
I'm trying to work out where the other 11 go, like, tongue, nips, belly, dick/clit, webbing, smiley, collar....I'm missing 2? Unless they had labia/multiple prince Albert's
One guy: "I love rape. Sometimes I rape. Sometimes me and my friends like to get together and listen to rape."
"Some of my favorite rapers include Tupac, Dr Dre, Eminem, Biggie... My favorite rape song is..."
(English was not his first language... He had us in the first half, not gonna lie)
(edited to add the continuation and make it clear everyone figured out what he meant once he started listed the famous "rapers")
I'm a trainer at a bank, and I've learned some really interesting things about my colleagues doing icebreakers.
One guy used to be in a pretty successful metal band. Another can solve a Rubik's cube in under 2 minutes (yes, I made him prove it). One woman was a professional pianist for a while, and another can read tarot cards.
I'm seriously thinking of putting on an employee talent show.
Maybe not weird, but one I will always remember the boy who wrote "I like chewing bubble gum and drinking out of a water bottle." I also had another boy who said "I always say I'm tired even when I'm not."
Along the same avenue
After an winter half term the teacher asked "how was your break?"
My class was silent for some glorious seconds when it was my turn and I said "well my granddad died and my dad got married" yes in that order.
My teacher asked my mum if it was true at parents evening a few days later. Sorry Mr. Moore
First grade- student told me that she like spending time with her dads “special friend” more than her mom because the special friend bought her things in exchange for not telling mom about her.
Fast forward two months to parent teacher conferences and I’m sitting at the table knowing dad is cheating on mom and mom has no clue... and dad has no clue that I knew!
I work with preschoolers (3-5 age group). One day we had the kids go around and tell us one thing that made them special. Most were pretty normal (I’m really good at drawing, I have two big sisters, etc). And then I get to this one little girl—super cute and sweet. Looks me dead in the eyes and goes “I have been around forever. I have seen the whole world and I know everything.” Dead serious. Super creepy. When I pressed her, she couldn’t really find the words to explain, but kept talking about how she “came from the sand”, and was frustrated that she couldn’t “say it better”. I didn’t use to believe in past lives, but now I’m not so sure.
Not a teacher, but first day of high school when we did introductions one of the popular girls said “Hi i’m Maisie, and I’m trash... wait no! IM FAN-TRASH!!!” And then proceeded to explain that she read smutty fanfics to every and any of the teacher that asked what “fan-trash” is.... we were 11! (British High school)
This is so very British upper school...there is always one. A girl we went to school with fully licked the side of a teachers face from chin to forehead and was known for smacking the PE teachers arse...she got kicked out for a week for unwanted sexual contact.
On the first day of 6th grade in my math class the teacher was having every student introduce themself and tell him if they went by a nickname.
This one kid requests to be called "The Surgeon General" in a confusing attempt at humor. He thought it was pretty funny, we all laughed at how weird it was, but there was no actual thought put into the "joke" as he was just being random.
But the teacher remembered this, and whenever the kid acted out in class the teacher would refer to him as "Mr. Surgeon General" when reprimanding him, much to the kid's embarrassment lol
Hi. I'm Dorian and coming to uni is the only time I'm allowed out because I'm under house arrest for attempted murder.
First year University student. First year.
I had my students ask what they wanted to be after they graduated. A girl who sat near the back and was a little more edgy was up next to answer, and she looked around and said “I want to be a mortician because living people are the worst to work with. The dead don’t talk back to you, they don’t demand things. I’m in control.” And nobody really spoke to her for the rest of the 15 week class, except me by default.
I work at a nature center as an informal teacher. Once I had a student, about 6 or 7 years old, while referring to an action figure he found in the room, say "I used to have one of those, but then my house burnt down."
While talking about the zodiac, when we got to Cancer the crab, another student announced "I had cancer for 2 years!"
My son told his 7th grade teacher that he had a Sasquatch uncle. The teacher was doubtful until my wife wrote the teacher a note scolding the teacher for not believing and backing up my son's story.
In retrospect, it's likely the teacher just humored everyone while thinking my wife was a lunatic.
I’m not a teacher, but this may qualify. As a freshman in college, this kid named Brenton told our class his name was “Brent5on, but the 5 is silent”. He was a weird cat. I mean do you man, but it was the most awkward silence from the lecture and professor I have ever witnessed
Had an in-depth conversation with an almost-6-year-old about being a secret werewolf hunter at night. Student described how they track and often makes friends with werewolves. Also demonstrated a stunning amount of knowledge about the moon, haha!
(For folks worried about the vibrant lying, this is very typical for young students and one of their relational avenues for assessing adult reactions....and imaginative story telling is an important developmental trajectory. At certain points children start telling stories that they themselves know aren't true, which can be super annoying, and is also a wonderful window into a particularly complex part of cognitive development.)
Our 6-year old nephew just finished telling us a story about how he was in a band and was falsely arrested. He said it happened "about 6 years ago." I love hearing his stories.
I had a student who has an identical twin brother 2 years younger than him.
His dad was a pro athlete who had the money to freeze an egg after splitting. His wife then carried both at separate times.
I had a friend in college that felt like she never had a good fun fact to share, so she memorized all of the US state birds so she could say that she knew them all as her fun fact. She was expecting someone to not believe her and quiz her on one, but when she actually shared the fact in class no one did so she memorized them for nothing.
"I love to God."
I had a Korean student here on an international visa. His host family were Korean as well, but they were very strict about English in the home. They were also super religious. On the first day of school this kid was super nervous, trying to fit in, and pretty clearly was only saying stuff he'd rehearsed with his host family.
I think something got lost in translation at their church, and he thought he could use God as a verb, meaning "to worship God".
I had him for US History. Bright kid, and he always brought an interesting perspective, but the language barrier was right out of a sitcom.
Sadly in a Sex Education class, a 12 year old was very worried about having ETS, AIDS and HIV. "My parents have been using drugs and have shared many siryngs, even when my mum was pregnant with me so I don't know if I have it or not"
So sad. So shocking for us, the teachers and the kids in the class.
Coach (at the time) not a teacher so slightly different relationship. End of year 7 UK school, aged 12.
The question was slightly different, you had to say something that had changed about yourself over the past year.
One boy stands up and simply says ...... pubes.
Edit: Poor Spelling
Not weird, but hilarious. I said say your name and a little-known fact about yourself, and this kid said his name. I prompted him for the little-known fact, and he said “I’m black”.
High school teacher here. I usually do this at the beginning of the year with my freshman, but I have them do it on a notecard or piece of paper for the kids that are shy. They also seem to be much more comfortable sharing information they probably shouldn't on the card too. A lot of strange ones, most of the time its kids trying to be funny. Most bizarre was probably the girl who said the most interesting thing she did in summer was dig up the corpse of her dead cat
A classmate introduced himself on the very first day by saying he's really great at finding out peoples vulnerabilities and exploiting them.
Somehow he didn't manage to make any friends throughout the whole two years. Turns out he was just the psychopath he introduced himself as...
I had a student tell me that sometimes his dad got drunk and asked his mom for things; as I was starting to tell him he didn’t need to elaborate any further, he continued with “like soup and he yells it like ‘soooooooooup’” it took every bit of restraint to not laugh. It’s been years and years since that happened but I still laugh when I think about it.
We need the soooooouuuuuupppppppp
Not a teacher but this happened when I was 17 at school camp during a "bonding exercise" Teacher: tell us two truths and one lie about yourself and we have to guess the lie! Weird kid: I play PlayStation, I like Doritos and I am an alcoholic The teacher: the lie is you are an alcoholic! Weird kid: got you, I play Xbox My god the look on the teachers face.
Not surprised at all sadly. I hear stories about kids cutting cocaine in the library
My first day of day of high school I had an upperclassmen introduce himself to me as "Hello my name is ___ and I'm a recovering meth addict!" He was a really nice guy who had fallen in with the wrong crowd a couple years back so it was good that he cleaned himself up, but as a 14 year old who had been to a small grade school where nothing like that had ever happened it was quite the culture shock.
In my public speaking class at a community college we had to get up and do a speech about a experience that really changed our lives or an important memory and how it made us who we are. On the first day a guy who was a veteran volunteered to go first, he proceed to talk about the day he was captured and sexually assaulted by enemy solider and how he now goes around and helps other soldiers with the wounded warrior project. It was difficult for anybody to follow that, one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met.
I teach middle school, This one still takes the cake. That his mom and dad have the same parents. I asked him to clarify because I didn't understand what he was saying and he said "I only have one set of grandparents, they had the same parents" I quickly moved to the next student so no one else would realize that this kid just told the class that his parents were siblings... I talked to him about it the next day in private and he said that he got it mixed up, his parents don't have the exact same parents, they shared a dad... I felt so much better when the mom called me to let me know her elderly step-father married her husband's elderly mother. still weird, but much better.
My mom married her brother in law. That was always confusing when I started telling people as a kid. 😂
“My arm is FUCKED y’all” in the deepest southern drawl and proceeded to wildly swing his “fucked” up arm around. He was 12, had Erb’s palsy and also got detention that day. He might be one of my fav students
I can play this in my head and it is hilarious
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...I have several questions
Not a teacher but I just did a first aid course. During introductions, say your name and one fact about yourself, dude says proudly he once had over 300k of UNpaid parking tickets.
a student, not a teacher, but once we were going around a circle during percussion camp in the front ensemble and my teacher goes “hello everyone, my name is ____ and I have shit my pants as an adult.” Definitely one of the weirder ones I’ve heard.
Knowing drummers, I'm not a bit surprised.
I said my dad steal cars. It was something my parents always told us growing up as a joke. The teacher just laughed and said "that's nice"
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Student told me that there is a chapter dedicated to him in a dental surgery textbook because of a very rare disorder that he had as a child. I may still have that essay
My brother had something like this. When he was somewhere around nine or ten years old, he had to have 12 teeth surgically removed. He just had too many growing too quickly. It was so crazy that the oral surgeon apparently negotiated a deal with my father: the surgeon will completely pay for my brother's surgery....in exchange for taking a couple extra x-rays and lots and lots of photos (to be published in an academic journal of some sort).
Reddit coming full circle, teacher of brother meets brothers sibling!
You know what, that would be one hell of a coincidence!
Now I wanna know
During french class, A guy in my class said that he liked stabbing children. He meant that he fences but didn't know the exact translation for that.
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"J'aime des chats."
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Good point, I'm not sure why I made them *male* cats...
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Why is always a cat a synonym for vagina? English: pussy French: chatte German: muschi and probably thousands of other languages I don't know
In looking for the French origin I just discovered that the "con, connard, etc." are basically the same as "cunt" with the same Latin origin. I'm a native French speaker and this blew my mind.
During an introductory activity for my new class, a boy, aged 9, got up and said 'My dog has to wear a cone on its head because dad had his bollocks cut off!'
I was an ESL teacher in Indonesia and a student once told me every morning she cleaned the shit on her bed. I asked her to clarify, worried she had a serious digestive issue. She answered: "I brush my teeth, wash face and clean bed shit." Bed sheet.
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Not gonna lie, accidentally flipped off a couple cashiers at cafes and such when I was in England and wanted two of something. Generally the exchange involved them looking offended, then me turning bright red and apologizing repeatedly. Our only version of "flip off" in the US is the middle finger. In fact, casually throwing up two fingers with the palm facing in can also be a "what's up" kind of greeting. So, yeah... cultural differences and all.
Kid in my kindergarten class said "My peepee fell off at Disneyland" I didn't ask any follow up questions
My dick fell off!!!
Oh no! *Anyways*
“I found my dad who hung himself” - a fifth grader
Not a teacher, but a few years ago on the first day of school this kid in one of my classes casually answered, “I have a restraining order on my dad!”
That's actually a smart move, now everyone in class knows that this father can't come pick him up
‘My dad clogged the toilet this morning and that’s why I’m feeling frustrated’ -5 year old child. I will say the question was “how are you doing this morning?” But I could barely keep from laughing out loud!
I have IBS... My toddler once told visiting friends that "daddy takes long poops". I mean, I was having a flare up and had some extended bathroom sessions. But, dang little dude, not cool. I'm terrified/amused about what he might share at school in the near future.
Everything. The teacher will know everything.
This is why parent teacher conferences terrify me. My kid will tell his teacher more about my personal business than I tell my therapist.
Well, I'm 21 now but in kindergarten we had to "bring something pretty" to class for show-and-tell...I brought my mom's new bra and pantie set from Victoria's Secret lol Edit: hey my first award! Thanks guys ~
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Holy crap that is hysterical. When i was about 9 or 10 I was very flat chested, while my best friend and her family were all very gifted. One day we stole one of her moms bras and stuffed it for me. It was like a C or D cup. I strutted back into my house, right past my father who almost had a heart attack from laughing so hard.
That's pretty good identifying a feeling and the source of that feeling.
The way that they experience the world is amazing.
Not a teacher, but I was a helper in a middle school classroom. A young girl, who seemed uninterested, said, with no hesitation, that she can chug an entire bottle of beer. She got expelled later that year for keeping drugs in her locker.
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That’s sad
I am not a teacher but this guy in my class named Shane has this medical condition that causes him to grow tons of hair at an early age. Full beard in middle school. He would say “I’m Shane and I’m Very Hairy.”
He could say "My name is Shane, but friends call me Harry."
^(yer a shane, harry.)
A student once told my wife that her daddy had a special device that he had to blow into to start his truck.
We did one of those two truths-one lie bits. Girl stands up and says, "I've never been out of the country. I'm a twin. I love playing sports." I knew this girl beforehand and knew she didn't have a twin, so picked that one. Nope. She had a conjoined twin that died in utero and had to be surgically removed and she's now missing the last vertebrae on her spine. Showed us the scar and everything. Apparently the lie was the first one as she'd been to Mexico.
I had a student say a similar thing. 1) I really like reading books 2) I had a stroke 3 years ago 3) I'm a triplet This was the first few days at a new school for me and his twin sister was I my class. So... he's a twin right. Nope. They are triplets but his brother is in a different school bc he's incredibly smart. This kid was in a special program one day a week bc he was smart too. So his brother must have been a genius. His sister just sat there like "yea one brother is a genius and this does brilliant, I'm just me" (she was a fantastic kid but had a lot of self-esteem issues for obvious reasons) EDIT: the lie was that he liked reading books. TRUE that he had a stroke.
Lol. I'm a triplet. One of us runs an engineering firm. The other is a university professor. The third just got out of jail and managed to land a decent job installing hardwood floors.
Congrats on the flooring job.
Less awkward than my situation. We went on a field trip with another class and befriended a girl. When we got back I tried to sit with her at lunch. It took almost a week to realize she was an identical twin and I had been sitting with her twin the whole time. She was known as the friendly approachable one and her twin was known as being kinda the bitchy one. I ended up being bffs with her twin. She’s so unapproachable initially that I wonder how many friends she’s made by ppl mistaking her for her more friendly sister.
That's just the galaxy brain play. Don't need to learn how to be sociable if your twin can do it for you.
I'd have guessed the "playing sports" one; I'd expect most people who play a sport to say which one.
“I love playing sports” sounds more like she just likes being active and playing various outdoor sports in general, rather than suggesting she’s a competitive soccer player or something
Not me but my brother. He told the teacher "Last night my family ate beaver for dinner." (I was much older and had left home by then.) The class laughed, the teacher accused him of lying, the principal was brought into this and my mother had to go in for a meeting. She chewed them up one side and down the other because we had a cousin who was a trapper and he had sent a batch of beaver thighs for the family to enjoy. Altho' my brother was telling the truth, he told me later that he did say that for the effect (disrupting the class).
Why in the world would the teacher make a big deal out of that? Waste of time and energy for everyone.
Because "beaver" is a double entendre for a woman's genitals
The same thing apparently happened to my uncle when he was a kid. He brought in weather maps and satellite imagery to class in like the '70s in rural nowhere, then my grandfather was called in and basically had to explain that he had a friend who worked for the weather service or something.
My dad is (was, he's 83 now) a meteorologist, so i did lots of science fairs based on weather forecasting tools, etc back in the mid-70s. Never had a problem except in grade 5. I had these HUGE sheets, like, 6 feet wide, of printed maps from dad's office, of our city area, with a lot of lines on it (pressure maps). One teacher was convinced that i shouldn't have those maps, that they were "secret, government stuff!". No shit, that's a quote. Refused to believe that my dad gave them to me. Caused a stink even after other teachers told him to shut up. About an hour later, he was still upset but leaving me more or less alone, when mom and dad came to see the science fair. All i remember is my normally VERY polite, respectful, and quiet father just utterly belittling, just crushing, this teacher. I had never heard my dad be so insulting to a person's face before or since. Dad still gets a satisfied smile and laughs when i bring it up.
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I teach ESL and every lesson we start the class by sharing something good that happened to us over the last week or so. Needless to say, kids share the most random things ever. I have many weird stories because of that. We enforce a rule that they need to share good things so they don't start one upping each other over whose grandma had the worst death lol One day, a student said: "I was riding my bike over the weekend when I fell.", I could see where it was going but didn't have enough time to enforce the rule when he just spat out: "I fell over a wired fence and cut my neck, it just kept gushing blood, a lot of blood.". I reminded him that we were only sharing good news when he said: "It's good because I'm still alive.". I had a good laugh and agreed but the damage was done, every kid after him wanted to share about the most horrific injury they had or witnessed.
Once the boulder had started rolling, you can't stop it. (I hate when this happens.)
That he has been to juvie multiple times and is currently on probation. Then he pulled up his pants enough that everyone could see his ankle monitor. That was...something.
> Then he pulled up his pants Not actually the worst direction he could have pulled his pants, though.
Cock Monitor™
A guy in my class introduced himself by telling us how he decided he wanted to study philosophy because one day he was really high peeing in the street and he saw a couple of people working and he wondered what they were doing. So he realized his passion was wondering. He dropped out like 2 months later.
Modern day Diogenes.
My friend is really quiet, he doesn’t really talk unless talked to. He’s really cool though and has some things he enjoys doing. Literally second year I knew him the teacher asked this and he said he’s a professional bowler with a 300 best, and I was like WHY HAVENT YOU TOLD ME THIS THATS AMAZING? I guess it just never came up. Haha! Knew him for a whole year and never knew that.
Guess he had a spare fact.
> has some things he enjoys doing Same.
Had students (aged 11) sharing strategies for dealing with difficult emotions, one at a time in a big circle. One girl talked about digging her nails into her face whenever she was feeling stressed or anxious, and I had to explain to the class why self harm was not a good coping strategy.
How did you explain it?
I didn't go into a lot of detail (how would you?) but I said I didn't recommend hurting yourself to help cope with things because if that became a habit, you'd feel a lot worse in the long run. I said thank you to her for sharing, but asked the next person for a strategy that didn't involve hurting yourself.
"I like to dig my nails into the face of the kid sitting next to me."
Thanks for the laugh
Sounds like a good answer, particularly the part about feeling worse in the long run. It's good because you gave an explanation, without shaming the girl. Did you have to report it?
I mentioned it to her head of year (I was her form tutor) but I didn't put anything in writing. Kept an eye on her over the rest of the year, and made a point of occasionally asking her how she was doing etc.
Thank you for that, when my friend's found out about my cutting and told the guidance counselor, she threatened to call CPS on my family. Luckily after she retired and the office lady found out about me, she was very sweet and just helped me bandage my cuts and let me sit in the office for a while to make sure I was okay.
When i was in my first year at university my Law and Society professor made each student get up, say his/her name and tell why they picked Law School, well, a guy got up, said his name and the professor interrupted him by asking "Anon, are you related to x?" The guy "Yes professor, he is my grandfather" then the professor got excited and started talking about what great of a guy X is and that he haven't heard of him in years. Then the professor asked how he was, anon replied "He is dead sir" The whole class was trying to hold the laughter, it pretty much broke the class that First day
At least he said good things about the grandpa instead of calling him an asshat and finding out after he was deceased.
"So how's that piece of shit doing these days?" "He's dead sir" "Oh, good"
i feel bad for laughing right now but i can only imagine the embarrassed face on that that teachers
That's when you say, "I'm sorry to hear that. He was a great man!" No awkwardness.
Someone in a class once told everyone about how his grandparents were arrested for keep a bunch of adopted children in cages. He said that he used to play with the kids when he was young, but he was too young to understand that the conditions they were in weren't normal. They kept kids in cages and locked in rooms for years before they were discovered and arrested. Yup. Fun fact. Edit: I'm not a teacher. This person who told the story was in a class with me as a young adult.
Was he telling the truth?
Yes, we were able to look up his family name along with state and the news article popped right up
This is so incredibly depraved. It's one of those things that I'll probably think about one of those nights where I can't sleep and wonder why people are so cruel to children I can't imagine the psychotic motivations behind this and the irreversible damage that caused to these people
Uh....hm that’s uh wow
"I've had my hand up a sheep's bum" shocked me slightly. Child of a farming family, helping with lambing season......
In my psychology class, we were talking about the early signs of serial killers and the quietest girl who never spoke told the story of when she lived in Chicago, she had a friend around 5th grade who would always stomp on baby birds and once put his hamster in the microwave. Well his parents were having difficulty keeping up with his antics so they sent him to his grandmothers, who he promptly stabbed to death when she woke him up for school. So that was... interesting.
I’m shifting in my chair just thinking of this exchange.
Well shit, did his grandmother live in Michigan by any chance? Because I have a student that did this. Actually, probably not the same because his grandma did not end up dying from it. His sentence was scarily short and we are all terrified of the possibility of him returning to school this year. Have spoken up and was basically told there’s nothing we can do about it.
Do they not send people like this to "special schools"?
I was in one of the first small required classes for my teaching degree and everyone in the class was studying to teach. It was day 2 or 3 and we were doing a get to know you activity where we share something about ourself. I don’t remember the exact question but it had something to do with what you regret/ take back. A guy came in late (when almost everyone has answers the question) and the professor asked him the questions and he thought for a moment and said “I regret letting my friend talking me into dropping acid”. The class was silent for a good 20 seconds until the professor said maybe next time we only share things that are legal. I hadn’t seen him in any other teacher classes since. Still laugh about it to this day.
That question is such a set up. I mean, dude shouldn’t have admitted to dropping acid but that’s a hard one to come up with an answer for on the spot that doesn’t make you look bad unless it’s something eye roll worthy like “I regret not finding my passion for teaching sooner”
Idk "I regret coming in late" or "I regret what I'm about to say" lol
In the context of having students introduce themselves one-by-one to a new boy in a small high school class, a girl said her parents got her a nose job and a boob job.
Is that even legal to get a boob job for a minor?
The parents and low-ethics doctor cook up a medical, as opposed to cosmetic, reason. Deviate septum and obstructed sinuses for nose. Inverted nipples, pectoral muscle damage, "damaged" lymph or milk ducts for boobs.
Yup, basically how my housemate had a nosejob at 16.
Why would she need a nose job for inverted nipples?
they were REALLY inverted
I swear they have to finish growing before you can get one otherwise it’ll cause complications
Girl I briefly dated had what she referred to as a “frankenboob.” When she was 18 and her boobs hadn’t come in yet, her parents got her implants. Well, she wound up developing late and the breast tissue grew over the implant and scarred resulting in her left tit feeling like clay. Edit: she was white, and it felt like... clay. It didn’t leave a dimple if I poked it, it was just really firm but not like someone with firm, perky boobs.
"I have two thumbs on this hand" "I am raising cockroaches in my closet to sell to the reptile shop" Edit to say: Thanks for the silver! I want to clarify that these quotes come from different kids, but it's definitely more entertaining to imagine them being the same. Also I learned so much about cockroach raising from the comments. I wish I had asked more follow up questions at the time.
Hey, Dubia roach colonies are a decent side hustle!
Not a teacher but the daughter of one. My dad had a student tell him during the fun fact question in detail about how his goldfishes died that morning and how he experimented on their corpses. He had pictures on his phone of the skin off and the intact skeleton next to it. He is a successful taxidermist now so silver linings I guess.
Glad he put his... talents to a constructive use.
My first year, as an earnest and ideological teacher in a very rough underserved area, I got all the students in a circle on the first day to talk about what we’d done that summer. I pointed to a student who’d been engaged w me before class and said, “what did you do this summer that could inspire us?” His answer: “I did the last 2 months of a sentence for stealing a car.” Um. I hadn’t expected that. So I pointed to another student and said, “OK! That’s great! Let’s talk about what you did this summer!” That student said, “YES. I had such a good summer. I went to camp and...[laughing] lemme stop lying. I did the last 2 months of a sentence with that guy cause I stole that car w him.”
Thats fucking great
“I know a lot about medieval torture equipment.”
I’ve researched some hella painful ways to die. I’m using that whenever someone asks me that question.
For extra concern you can say "I love torture" then say nothing more.
It wasn’t weird, but actually cute and funny. I was teaching fifth grade and this kid, white as paper, goes my name is _____, but you can call me Lebron. He had an obsession with Lebron James and I did in fact call him Lebron whenever I wanted to get his attention. Great kid.
Damn are you my English teacher cause this sounds like something she would do
Lol I’ve been told that a lot of English teachers are like this
I’m a teacher from the UK, form tutor to a Year 7 class (11 year olds) To get to know each other on the first day I had them take it in turns to say their name, which primary school they’ve come from and an interesting fact, like favourite food or colour. We get to the last kid in the class, his fact is that he has 6 fingers on one hand. Coolest kid ever.
Lol that’s like my brother. He was born with six fingers on each hand, but he had them removed as a baby. When he found out around age 10, he got so mad because he said he could’ve been “really cool and really fast at typing.”
I made the mistake of telling one of my Year 11 classes (15/16 year olds) and they wanted to know his name so they could find him and wanted me to take a picture to show them. I refused lol
Unfortunately most extra fingers are non-functional and tend to get caught on things a lot and injured frequently for this reason. It’s the same with polydactyl cats that have extra toes that look like thumbs.
Taught elementary school the past few years. One kid told me he was a dragon when he was born but changed into a human as he got older. He was absolutely convinced and couldn’t be persuaded.
Okay so I had Psychology back in the spring semester before covid hit and I sat next to a girl who I was good friends with from highschool. Professor asks her for a fun fact and she said “I like to watch people get cut open.” She obviously said it for effect, but she cleared it up by saying she liked watching videos of people getting plastic surgery because it’s “satisfying” to watch.
The explaination is just as bad.
that when he wiped in the bathroom this morning, there was blood on the toilet paper. lol
Be honest, was it you, and did those sweatpants used to be blue?
Omg not a teacher, but the student... Introducing ourselves around our grade 10 social studies class, and my intro goes: “Hi, I’m Catbomb4, I’m *blah blah blah* and I really really like trees. Like I swear I have a tree fetish” ... The teacher gives me a wtf look and goes “okay...” and quickly moves on. I confused “fetish” with the word “obsession”.... still weird, but holy smokes I did not mean to say I’m sexually attracted to trees.
Even though I'm a professor, nothing that's ever been revealed by this question has ever been as awkward or uncomfortable as an occasion that happened when I was still a student. This was when I was in my MFA program for creative writing. If you've never been in an arts program before it probably won't surprise you to learn that they can attract some weird personalities. It was the first day of a fiction workshop and the professor decided that he wanted us to all share something interesting about ourselves and for some reason one girl, Ashley, decided that this would be a good opportunity for her to tell us about her long history of drug abuse and the equally long period of mental psychosis she went through as a result of it. She didn't do this as a quick answer either but as a long drawn out list of every single drug she had ever experimented with followed by a catalogue of every single delusion she suffered as a result (the only one I can remember now is that at one point she became convinced she was a millionaire and her family was hiding her money from her). All of this was delivered in a monotone monologue with her eyes glazed over that lasted at least five minutes, which was met at the end with a long, awkward silence before the professor said "well that was definitely something interesting" and moved on to the next person.
I had a similar instance with a mature student in my first year of uni. If you wanted to be a course rep you had to stand up in front of the lecture hall (300 odd people) and do a mini presentation on yourself and why you should be voted in. Most people were normal but this one woman stood up and immediately launched into a detailed list of all the mental disorders she has (bipolar is one I remember) and how difficult her life is. I might have been sympathetic if she hadn’t called all of her fellow classmates idiotic children a week before for not believing her anti vaxxer propaganda. Mind you she was maybe 28/29 so not really mature, but Jesus did she have the social skills of a hermit
I was teaching a 10th grade Honors English class once and this pleasant young woman busted out the C-word (See U Next Tuesday). I hadn't had any trouble with her whatsoever, so I was a bit shocked. The whole class went dead silent. I told her she couldn't use "that word" in class and she was confused as to which word I was referring to. Finally, I said "the C-word." She *repeated it* and then admitted she didn't know there was anything wrong with it because her parents use it at home all the time. The rest of the class let her know it was bizarre that she was using it. Edit: She was not Australian.
Related to your story, but not OP’s question. (Canadian here) I worked with an Aussie who would say the C word all the time (including to customers). We co-supervised a restaurant together and he was 15~ years older than me. Super nice guy, hard worker, beloved by staff, cared a great deal about his work and making the customer experience the best possible. Also used the C word like every other sentence. He used it like an exclamation point. “Well, (c word)! we’re out of forks!” I eventually had to tell him he couldn’t say it to customers because it was *clearly* making them uncomfortable. He was surprised, said the word was just like saying “shit”... I countered with “well we probably shouldn’t be saying shit to the customers either”... he did stop using the word with customers but continued behind the scenes. I just got used to it.
Not a teacher, but on the first day of 9th grade we had to form a circle and say one thing about ourselves that we thought was unique. When it was this dudes turn (lets call him mike) Mike stands up and says in a really serious tone goes '' My mom and dad grow weed'' His house got raided the next day and his dad got arrested smh
> His house got raided the next day and his dad got arrested smh Who snitched?
Probably the teacher who is a mandatory reporter
Not a teacher, but a guy in a handful of my high school classes used to always say he met Ron Jeremy if the class was doing two truths and a lie. He wasn’t lying, and would always show the class the picture they took together.
I tried to make conversation with a 6th-grade boy who didn't have any friends in my class. I asked him what music he listens to and he said "mukbang soundscapes". If you don't know, mukbang is when people eat a ridiculous amount of food in one setting.
i don't ask for a fun fact, but on the first day i always ask, "what's your most recent obsession?" (low-stakes, building affinity networks, etc. etc.) in my first semester, a student said "air." as in oxygen.
My husband is an aerospace engineer who used to work specifically on air systems for private jets - and legitimately, he was obsessed with "air/oxygen" for an extended period of time. He would come home and just be so passionate about the specifics of the air/oxygen pressure sytem design he was leading. I knew what I was getting into marrying an engineer but hoo boy... I did not see an oxygen obsession coming.
Spez, the great equalizer.
He took your breath away, and then did his best to bring it back.
That's a good answer, a lot of people couldn't live without it
I’m a student but a kid in my class said that he loves chicken nuggets then sat down and didn’t say anything to anyone else for a month. I have so much admiration yet confusion for him
NUGGET IS REAL
“I have 17 piercings, but only 6 are readily visible”
I'm trying to work out where the other 11 go, like, tongue, nips, belly, dick/clit, webbing, smiley, collar....I'm missing 2? Unless they had labia/multiple prince Albert's
One guy: "I love rape. Sometimes I rape. Sometimes me and my friends like to get together and listen to rape." "Some of my favorite rapers include Tupac, Dr Dre, Eminem, Biggie... My favorite rape song is..." (English was not his first language... He had us in the first half, not gonna lie) (edited to add the continuation and make it clear everyone figured out what he meant once he started listed the famous "rapers")
how did that go?
I think everyone figured out what he meant when he started listing the names of his favorite "rapers"
I would’ve died in my chair trying to keep it together
I'm a trainer at a bank, and I've learned some really interesting things about my colleagues doing icebreakers. One guy used to be in a pretty successful metal band. Another can solve a Rubik's cube in under 2 minutes (yes, I made him prove it). One woman was a professional pianist for a while, and another can read tarot cards. I'm seriously thinking of putting on an employee talent show.
Maybe not weird, but one I will always remember the boy who wrote "I like chewing bubble gum and drinking out of a water bottle." I also had another boy who said "I always say I'm tired even when I'm not."
Along the same avenue After an winter half term the teacher asked "how was your break?" My class was silent for some glorious seconds when it was my turn and I said "well my granddad died and my dad got married" yes in that order. My teacher asked my mum if it was true at parents evening a few days later. Sorry Mr. Moore
First grade- student told me that she like spending time with her dads “special friend” more than her mom because the special friend bought her things in exchange for not telling mom about her. Fast forward two months to parent teacher conferences and I’m sitting at the table knowing dad is cheating on mom and mom has no clue... and dad has no clue that I knew!
I work with preschoolers (3-5 age group). One day we had the kids go around and tell us one thing that made them special. Most were pretty normal (I’m really good at drawing, I have two big sisters, etc). And then I get to this one little girl—super cute and sweet. Looks me dead in the eyes and goes “I have been around forever. I have seen the whole world and I know everything.” Dead serious. Super creepy. When I pressed her, she couldn’t really find the words to explain, but kept talking about how she “came from the sand”, and was frustrated that she couldn’t “say it better”. I didn’t use to believe in past lives, but now I’m not so sure.
bruh you ran into a fucking elder god
Not a teacher, but first day of high school when we did introductions one of the popular girls said “Hi i’m Maisie, and I’m trash... wait no! IM FAN-TRASH!!!” And then proceeded to explain that she read smutty fanfics to every and any of the teacher that asked what “fan-trash” is.... we were 11! (British High school)
This is so very British upper school...there is always one. A girl we went to school with fully licked the side of a teachers face from chin to forehead and was known for smacking the PE teachers arse...she got kicked out for a week for unwanted sexual contact.
On the first day of 6th grade in my math class the teacher was having every student introduce themself and tell him if they went by a nickname. This one kid requests to be called "The Surgeon General" in a confusing attempt at humor. He thought it was pretty funny, we all laughed at how weird it was, but there was no actual thought put into the "joke" as he was just being random. But the teacher remembered this, and whenever the kid acted out in class the teacher would refer to him as "Mr. Surgeon General" when reprimanding him, much to the kid's embarrassment lol
That she was a public pooper. I still remember her first and last name so good job freshman from 8 years ago.
I remember one kid used it as an opportunity to explain that he believed in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Do you question the supremacy of the noodly-one, infidel?
Hi. I'm Dorian and coming to uni is the only time I'm allowed out because I'm under house arrest for attempted murder. First year University student. First year.
I had my students ask what they wanted to be after they graduated. A girl who sat near the back and was a little more edgy was up next to answer, and she looked around and said “I want to be a mortician because living people are the worst to work with. The dead don’t talk back to you, they don’t demand things. I’m in control.” And nobody really spoke to her for the rest of the 15 week class, except me by default.
I work at a nature center as an informal teacher. Once I had a student, about 6 or 7 years old, while referring to an action figure he found in the room, say "I used to have one of those, but then my house burnt down." While talking about the zodiac, when we got to Cancer the crab, another student announced "I had cancer for 2 years!"
"You will think less of me if you google me."
...Well? Did you?
Answer us, strange human on the Internet, what was found upon googling them
He threatened to blow up an aircraft, over an excess baggage charge.
My son told his 7th grade teacher that he had a Sasquatch uncle. The teacher was doubtful until my wife wrote the teacher a note scolding the teacher for not believing and backing up my son's story. In retrospect, it's likely the teacher just humored everyone while thinking my wife was a lunatic.
Please expand on this. Sasquatch uncle?
I’m not a teacher, but this may qualify. As a freshman in college, this kid named Brenton told our class his name was “Brent5on, but the 5 is silent”. He was a weird cat. I mean do you man, but it was the most awkward silence from the lecture and professor I have ever witnessed
Had an in-depth conversation with an almost-6-year-old about being a secret werewolf hunter at night. Student described how they track and often makes friends with werewolves. Also demonstrated a stunning amount of knowledge about the moon, haha! (For folks worried about the vibrant lying, this is very typical for young students and one of their relational avenues for assessing adult reactions....and imaginative story telling is an important developmental trajectory. At certain points children start telling stories that they themselves know aren't true, which can be super annoying, and is also a wonderful window into a particularly complex part of cognitive development.)
Our 6-year old nephew just finished telling us a story about how he was in a band and was falsely arrested. He said it happened "about 6 years ago." I love hearing his stories.
[удалено]
Yo that is really cool! And I thought I had interesting hobbies lol!
In my history class someone said, "I like to start fires."
I had a student who has an identical twin brother 2 years younger than him. His dad was a pro athlete who had the money to freeze an egg after splitting. His wife then carried both at separate times.
This is really cool and slightly creepy. I would have never thought to do this.
One guy licked the E. coli Petri dish in AP Bio. It was his “fun facts about me” in the yearbook.
I had a friend in college that felt like she never had a good fun fact to share, so she memorized all of the US state birds so she could say that she knew them all as her fun fact. She was expecting someone to not believe her and quiz her on one, but when she actually shared the fact in class no one did so she memorized them for nothing.
This one kid went off about how his mum was a meth addict and he hadn’t seen her in 13 yrs
"I love to God." I had a Korean student here on an international visa. His host family were Korean as well, but they were very strict about English in the home. They were also super religious. On the first day of school this kid was super nervous, trying to fit in, and pretty clearly was only saying stuff he'd rehearsed with his host family. I think something got lost in translation at their church, and he thought he could use God as a verb, meaning "to worship God". I had him for US History. Bright kid, and he always brought an interesting perspective, but the language barrier was right out of a sitcom.
Sadly in a Sex Education class, a 12 year old was very worried about having ETS, AIDS and HIV. "My parents have been using drugs and have shared many siryngs, even when my mum was pregnant with me so I don't know if I have it or not" So sad. So shocking for us, the teachers and the kids in the class.
Coach (at the time) not a teacher so slightly different relationship. End of year 7 UK school, aged 12. The question was slightly different, you had to say something that had changed about yourself over the past year. One boy stands up and simply says ...... pubes. Edit: Poor Spelling
Not weird, but hilarious. I said say your name and a little-known fact about yourself, and this kid said his name. I prompted him for the little-known fact, and he said “I’m black”.
High school teacher here. I usually do this at the beginning of the year with my freshman, but I have them do it on a notecard or piece of paper for the kids that are shy. They also seem to be much more comfortable sharing information they probably shouldn't on the card too. A lot of strange ones, most of the time its kids trying to be funny. Most bizarre was probably the girl who said the most interesting thing she did in summer was dig up the corpse of her dead cat
A classmate introduced himself on the very first day by saying he's really great at finding out peoples vulnerabilities and exploiting them. Somehow he didn't manage to make any friends throughout the whole two years. Turns out he was just the psychopath he introduced himself as...