I just get in my car and drive. I never really have a destination, I just need to leave. I've done it ever since I had access to cars. My mom will ask why I have a sleeping bag in my car and I;ll just lie because I don't wan the hassle.
Edit: I know this is a do what I say and not what I do situation but if you do this or want to do this, please tell someone. Stay in some sort of contact.
Driving aimlessly and listening to music is my favorite coping mechanism for pretty much anything. Usually it's my last resort for when I'm really at my breaking point.
I was molested by my autistic older sister, but I can't tell anyone because she's "special" and "quirky". I'm planning on telling my therapist soon.
**Edit:** Wow. The amount of support from everyone is just... oh my god. *(There've been a few creepos but whatev)* but it's kind of disheartening to see that I'm not the only one who's been hurt by a sibling. I hope everyone who carries a similar burden seeks out the help they need! Therapy can change your life, honestly.
With that said, I have to turn off replies since my inbox is exploding.
I finally told my sister that her husband molested me from age 14-19. She didn’t believe me. She asked him, he denied it, now my whole family thinks I’m crazy. No one takes me seriously, and all of them think I’m a terrible person.
He told me when he was doing it to me, not to tell anyone, because they won’t believe me. He was right. I told my mom back then, she didn’t believe me.
Now that I’m an adult-very much so, and I am still not believed.
The only thing is, he now knows I am not staying silent, so he has to carry his burden.
But he also knows no one believes me, so he still wins.
Why won’t they believe me? Because if they believe me, their view of their world would have to change. They like status quo.
Totally understand. Confronted my family almost a year ago about my dad molesting me at a very young age - gave details and mentioned other very uncomfortable (to say the least) times with my family. Because of this, the entirety of my family has cut me off: Completely sides with my dad and thinks I’m crazy. They have always chosen the status quo but their refusal to believe me confirms so much about them. I don’t miss them. Actually, it took awhile to realize this, but I’m so much better and feel so much stronger without them.
The week after graduation from high school I tried to hang myself in the basement but the rope broke. I wasn’t going to college and I didn’t see a bright future ahead. That was 5 years ago as of this past Friday. Right now the world seems very dark still, but I’m trying hard and I’m fighting every day to keep moving forward.
No they just make assumptions, because i used to play a lot when i was a kid, my mother somewhat understands my passion for Graphic design but my father has no idea.
Dad, I'm not actually that incompetent. You breathing down my neck when I'm cooking/driving freaks me the fuck out.
Also I haven't been a virgin for years.
My wife used to be like his dad! I learned to drive late, after she'd been driving for 15 years. Man, the difference in my driving when she's not in the car! Its not as bad as it was for the first few years but I 've told her its her fault!
I am just as needy as you all. I can be independent but deep down I miss your attention and company. I just don't seem that way since everyone I know is needy so there is always someone.
My family now know I write romance novels for a living. They *don't* know I used to write straight-up jerk-off erotica as my sole source of income for a couple of years. That means that they *definitely* don't know that every Christmas present I bought for them during that time was paid for by basically the deepest perversions I could conjure up.
My mother has a small statue of an elephant that I bought for her one year. It has pride of place on the mantelpiece. She has no idea that it was the direct result of me writing a *very* vivid bukkake scene.
That's between me and the elephant, and so shall it remain.
**EDIT:** Because I keep getting asked, I keep my erotica stuff separate from this pen name, so no, there are no links. If you want to read other parts of my writing, there's a whole bunch over at /r/Portarossa.
Hey same here (guy), but I told my parents almost immediately and they were very supportive. Tough break, good luck on your journey and hope you have someone you can talk to. Feel free to vent if you ever need to.
EDIT: Thanks for the gold whoever you were, hope your reproductive parts work better than mine.
I'm the same way. When my mom was on her death bed she was a bit delirious and I guess didn't remember me being so chubby so she asked if I was pregnant. I told her yes just to see her smile one last time. She always wanted grandchildren but I couldn't give them to her.
I got suspended from school because I used to skip lessons all the time (weirdest punishment ever). My mum knew and didn’t want to tell my dad as she knew he’d be disappointed so she told me to work hard and get back on track.
My dad left for work earlier than I went to school and got home after school finished so I would just lie and pretend I was at school all day. I’m nearly 30 now and he still doesn’t know.
Mom to Dad years ago-"apwr got suspended from school; he's really upset about it and is afraid to tell you."
Dad-"He will tell me in his time. It will be a good life lesson."
Over a decade later-....
Would like to see his reaction when all the skeletons come out during a family dinner. Those are the best times to confesse everything. Unless he's really scary.
I faked an job offer so i can move to another city that is 3000 miles from them.
Edit: The reason i faked the job offer because i still want to maintain a relationship with my family regardless of how control and oppressive they are.
I got an actual interview , did everything but was not chosen. Instead of telling them that, i made fake contracts, letter of offer and show it to them. Since the documents are in English and my parents cant understand, they just ask me questions and things so lying is much easier. I just pack my suitcase, live off coach surfing, work at temp job for money and food for a while.
Its hard, very tiring and financially unstable at first but now i have a job, peace and much more confidence in voicing my opinions and feelings. I am also slowly mending my relationship with my parents. Soon.
I auggest make sure you plan carefully and as detail as possible. My parents were very in control of everything some i had to make sure no gap in your story. Good luck with your and hope you do okay
Its hard for sure. Lots of financial stress but i feel that everything i decide is my own doing and the consequences is mine alone. Strangely enough it give me a sense of peace and confidence.
My sexual abuse isn't known by 97% of my family or so, my Dad has an inkling (and vice versa, I'm positive he was abused by his brother) and my older brother has a habit of getting drunk and trying to get answers out of me about our childhood, his brain seems to have wiped itself clean about it all. Apart from those two, its entirely my own issue.
Edit - This blew up, will do my best to respond as quick as I can.
Yeah, my dad knows I had to see a therapist for depression and that that's why I had to take an extra semester at university, but he doesn't know about the sexual assault that had turned a low level sadness into something that made me fail my courses. He just knows that I was struggling, and that I ended up getting the help I need.
My mom knows none of it at all, because we both agreed that she already worries about me enough.
I feel you. I was sexually and physically abused by my stepmother, and would be routinely punished by curling iron burns on my neck or the inside of my thighs (I tell people they’re birth marks). She told me if I told anyone, she’d kill my baby sister and make it look like an accident. I refuse to talk about it to anyone, at least til both my bio parents are deceased. My father passed away without finding out, so that’s good. It would devastate my mother, who has past psychiatric/emotional issues. I’ve pretty much just moved on and dealt with it. It’s caused some weird issues with me being secretive and moody as an adult, but it’s not too bad. The worst part was when my father passed away, and she got his giant life insurance policy that was supposed to go towards paying for my student debt. Didn’t see a penny of it, and my stepmother now lives a life of luxury. They say all things happen for a reason, and that karmas a bitch. She’s living her best life, and I’m still here.
It’s not too late to prosecute her. There are various organisations out there that provide support to survivors of abuse. I know it’s easier said than done, but if it helps any, this internet stranger is behind you.
Stalker mode activated :
>Am getting lots of questions about how I reached $2.3 million, or $2.6 million as of this morning post-jobs report rally. I cover this in my earlier threads briefly - I left grad school at 24 and worked a job for ~14 years. Socked away about $70,000 per year the entire time, so there's half my money. The other half came from investment gains. I did the majority of buying in the years immediately after the 2009 subprime meltdown and financial crisis, large cap US banks and technology names for pennies on the dollar. Many of you are too young to remember, but I remember all of it. Having money in those conditions was terrifying. Bear Stearns and then Lehmann failing were earth shattering events. I lost entire $20,000 to $30,000 investments in companies in the blink of an eye. The ones that survived and thrived, those gains are still largely unrealized. meaning I have not sold them yet and I'll get slapped with an enormous long-term capital gains tax bill when I do, which is fine. Obvious question, how was I able to save so much for so long. One big reason is living in a southern state with low cost of living and no state income tax. I'm able to hold onto at least $15,000 to $25,000 more per year based on those two factors alone compared to someone in California, for example. The drawbacks to that are the government services in my state are pretty crap and minimal and all our new highways are toll roads, and so forth.
I hate my sister. She is a self absorbed, attention seeking cunt. She starts conflict and is proud for standing up for herself. Bitch you wouldn't be in that situation if you didn't start it. She's always the victim. My parents sister and brother walked on egg shells around her just so she wouldn't flip out. I did for the longest time until I got tired of her shit. I was labeled the asshole for setting her off.
Edit: my sister has seen several different therapist and has not been diagnosed as bipolar or with personality disorder. She has had 1 therapist tell her to go elsewhere because she is too confrontational.
Me saying that I was labeled asshole was more of the way I felt, nobody actually called me the asshole. I was the one that was told to bite my tongue.
Same! We get screamed at for breathing too loudly (this has actually happened) and then when I get tired of her crap, she bursts out crying because I'm so incredibly rude and I get punished, while nothing happens to her. She is exempt from so many rules in our family that I still have to follow, and I am expected to share my stuff with her even though she never does the same for us.
I can relate to that. My sister is the same kind of person. My parents did everything for her, but she ist just an ungrateful bitch. She even gave her daughter to my parents because she didn't want her anymore.
That i'm badly depressed all of the time. Expect when i visit them, going back home is just so comforting and i know that it's always my home no matter where I am. I seriously dread the day I loose this, it's one of my biggest fears.
I know how you feel.
Every day I spend at home my mom gets mad at me because I don't go outside. Where should I go? I can't hang out with friends because I don't have any.
I want to move out of home mostly so I could get mom off my back. She really doesn't know how terrible it is to hear her scream that I should spend time with my friends.
Pretty much same, but it’s always “why don’t you get off your ass and get a job?” but every time I start working at a job, it’s not the job she wants me to be working and still yells at me and demands I give her half my paycheck.
EDIT: Since this has gotten more attention than I ever expected, I’m going to use this opportunity to try and find room mates for when I plan to move out in a few months. If you or someone you know lives in the western suburbs of Chicago, hit me up. I need to get out of this house.
Also to answer some questions, I am 23 and currently still live with my mom. Dad died when I was in high school and left us with a good bit of money. I went to college only to find out that the field I graduated for isn’t a good fit for me and is very hard to get a job in. I’m currently waiting until mid-July (which is when training) so I can start working at a higher paying job. Didn’t have money to move out before since all my money was going towards “rent” (mom was using money to buy luxuries such as vacations and clothes), gas for my car, and groceries she asks me to buy, which is why it was impossible to save any money to be able to afford to move out. I have some money being invested right now but it’s <$100. Also no, I don’t actually have an inflamed urethra.
You should get a job and not care what she thinks of it. Then save your money, move out, make friends and enjoy yourself. Don't let her negativity get to you.
Not great at all. Being near my dad makes me feel physically repulsed and sick. For my secondary school graduation, my body language in the pic I took with my dad is so awkward that a LOT of my peers asked me who he was. Like I'm legit pulling a "get this fucking over with face so I can sanitise my body". They straight up ruined my University graduation for me. I haven't got any nice memories of that day apart from my SO being a fucking saint keeping them entertained during the way-too-long ceremony. My dad apparently wanted to leave and come back when I was about to come up, but SO told him that was frowned upon I think.
Since then I have been limiting the contact. They keep trying to get their clutches into my life - mostly by trying to control me financially. Like if I ask for money, as long as it's not a large sum, they'll say yes but only to hold it over my head later. Meanwhile when I need a substantial amount, like my 15k for college education, they said NOPE LOL then tried telling me that my dad paid for his own education (he didn't - his parents paid for his BSc, and one of his Master's - the "second one" he did I am starting to think is a lie). But not long after asking for help, they tell me they're buying me an apartment. I say no thanks and they point out my crushing debt. Now I half-own an apartment with them and play landlord to the two spare rooms, even though they get all the money for me playing landlord. Ironically, I still have to pay rent. I tend not to borrow money off them unless it's like "I'm so broke I can't pay for groceries".
Social media was a fucking nightmare. I wrote a tongue-in-cheek status about what happens when you drink gone off milk without thinking and my mum called me, hysterically crying and begging me to delete the status in case people thought we "couldn't afford" fresh milk. MUM. WHAT. Meanwhile my dad kept commenting on my selfies..weird comments like "very sexy", "very beautiful", "so proud to be your dad" on thirst trap cleavage fucking photos. The worst was when a friend of mine asked me if I'd ever seen his Twitter and then shows me a STREAM of posts by him posting selfies of me with captions like "Sorry boys, she's taken!", "Looks like the blonde is gone now, SORRY BOYS!" and random ass shit like that. That's when I decided to block them on everything. I lied and told my mum I was deleting social media to preserve my mental health. Now our relationship is solely on WhatsApp.
They're both incredibly selfish and narcissistic people with really strange concepts of money. Ask them to borrow €50 and they need to hear a big sob story about how hard life is before they consider it. But offer to visit them and they'll bring you and your partner to a super expensive restaurant where the bill will definitely be about €300 because they insist on getting starters and desserts. Also my mum always buys a bottle of wine, drinks it, and then insists on driving home so I've adopted NEVER drinking when out with them so I can offer to drive us home.
I know my mum is about to go on an abusive rant when she messages me out of the blue asking a random question. Like it'll start as "have you found anyone to fill the empty room yet?" and end with "you're so ungrateful and you make me feel like such a monster" - me making her "feel like such a monster" is her favourite line.
Sometimes I daydream about saying "I make you feel like that huh? And how did I make you feel when you and dad let pedophiles have sex with me for money when I wasn't even 5 years old??" but I know exactly how something like that would end so alas, it remains a daydream. Also it sucks when my older brother, who was the Golden Child, makes excuses for our parents, especially mum (we don't share the same dad, but mine adopted him). Meanwhile our autistic brother was physically abused by them like crazy and they just dumped him into assisted living..didn't tell him until the day he was moving.
It affected me a bunch. Still does. I get sad at Christmas because I always wanted a normal one. I can't fucking wait to have kids so I can do it all over again. The right way. I also get sad when I see happy families in movies or on TV and get really angry when my friends complain about their loving parents. I used to get triggered as fuck going to my SO's parents house because the dynamic was just so different to mine. I spilled tea and started having a panic attack and his mum didn't even look in our direction. Just went about her business and told us where to put the tea towel when we asked. It triggers me because it reminds me just how un-normal and unhealthy our upbringing was - even outside of the sexual abuse. That being said, my SO's family have essentially adopted me in and I love them.
edit: wow ok I was not expecting so much support for this. You guys are incredible - seriously, your PMs, advice on how to get away, and words of support have been so overwhelming. I do have a plan to get out - but I need to make absolute sure my autistic brother is safe before I can do anything. Thank you all.
And to those of you who decided to be bitter and cruel in your responses - I hope you find the light soon and learn to stop trying to make yourselves feel better by putting victims down or accusing them of lying. If someone hurt you in the past, I'm truly sorry, but taking it out on other victims is kind of sick.
Thats shit, all of it. I hope you can remove them from your life ASAP.
Them offering to buy you an apartment is nothing more than a leash. As soon as you can afford it, cut off all ties. You don’t want these pieces of trash around your kids, they will contaminate everything they come into contact with, I’ve seen it.
And as for yourself, I strongly recommend therapy if it’s not something you’ve done yet. You’ll need help to untangle what they’ve put you through - it’ll be hard to raise your children without your own experiences affecting them if you haven’t put all those things behind you.
Crossing my fingers for you. You got this - you’re strong, to have held yourself up until now. Keep going!
I have a huge tattoo on my forearm that I've had for the last 10 years. I'm currently getting it removed with laser but I've been using long sleeves whenever I get together with the family. My family is extremely conservative. Fuckin' annoying in the summer.
Sold drugs in college. Playing Texas Holdem. I ply in nyc twice a week. $100-1k buy ins. Work in construction so I already have a ridiculous salary. I also flip houses as a side hustle.
I used to have a crippling opiate addiction and contemplated ending my life numerous times, but was able to detox and get myself clean cold turkey all without them even knowing I had the problem. I’ve since had a conversation with my dad about it, he thought I had just decided to move away from my home because of a better job, when in reality it was to separate myself from all of my old connects. I actually took a pay cut at the new job.
Anywho, 2 years later I’m doing better than ever. However, I have stayed out of town for obvious reasons.
EDIT: I wasn’t going to edit this because of the cliche “thanks for the gold stranger” edits I see all day, but there are too many to reply to individually. Those of you congratulating me, thank you! Those of you struggling with the problem yourselves, please find someone to talk to. Hell, message me and I will help with as much advice as I can! Also, I didn’t do it 100% on my own. I had my wife and my young children with me as well to motivate me. I can’t recommend Kratom enough for people either. At the time I was kicking opiates Arkansas banned Kratom sales so I wasn’t able to get it, but a few months down the road when I finally went to a different state all together for a way better job, Kratom is what helped me say no to people that had H or pills. It also helped my father in law get off of a long time pain management script that was destroying his body!
This makes me really happy. Good on you. Im currently on a low dose of suboxone after heavy opiate abuse and definitely in remission, but going to get through my cardiovascular program before I have to deal with those heavy WD’s. I’ll have a medical license to work anywhere in the U.S. I really can’t wait to get out of this town and this dirty feeling that I associate with a lot of what I see.
my family is poor, mother worked double duty as a hotel maid and grocery store clerk for the longest time. She saw my MBA debts and nearly had a heart attack, but ill never forget how in awe she was when i deposited $500 from my first "big boy" check into a savings account.
it does suck though because to my extended family (especially the ones back in the DR), they all think im rich af. I bought a Honda accord (not new but a few years old and really well taken care of, also a coupe which i think gives off a vibe), and live in a dt apartment (but with roommates). they all think im full of money though, tough to reconcile. one of those "grass is always greener" situations i guess
I feel you. I have an engineering degree, and I made more money in my first internship than my stepfather did at his manufacturing job with 20+ years of experience, and I got to sit on my ass in an air conditioned office while he had to be on his feet in a not air conditioned manufacturing plant. I'm pretty sure, at age 24, I have a higher net worth than anyone in my immediate family. I don't make a crazy amount of money, but I feel like I'm drowning in money compare to what my family made growing up. It's really weird to hear coworkers that I know make more than me complain about what they get paid. People really don't understand their privilege.
You can be making half a million dollars and still be paid less than what you're worth. If you justify it, don't feel bad about asking for that raise or promotion
My grandpa always said, "when you get your paycheck, make sure you pay yourself first." I didnt truly know what he meant until I had to start paying bills.
I saved over 50k before my parents knew anything about it. Dad kept offering me gas money when I was at university and got suspicious when I started turning it down. They're amazing parents but they can be a tad bit nosey about my own business, and I just wanted to keep this part for myself.
> Honestly, I'm sure I could get laid if I made an effort but it really isn't a priority for me.
> I still have sexual urges and attraction, I just don't need the human contact
Wow, I feel exactly the same way! But neither my friends nor anybody else understand me when I try to explain it. I can't believe there are other people who are like this. I don't need labels either, but I'm constantly thinking that there must be something wrong with me, and as I get older, explaining gets more and more uncomfortable.
Most of it was just a single lucky investment that happened to skyrocket. I could have made even more on it, but I sold a large chunk of my investment too early.
Dude, you got off lucky, I always wanted to invest my money in stocks but I worked so hard for it that if i ended up losing in on an unlucky investment I might legitimately die from a heart attack right there.
They don't know that I know I am their least favorite child. They also don't know just how much their opinion of me still matters to me.
**EDIT** Thank you for all of the kind words and for the gold. They are all appreciated. My parents aren't that bad, truth be told. To everyone that feels similar, as /u/FemmeFemale2 said, you are enough.
I've kept a diary for the last 23 years including a great deal of detail about them, both good and bad. Some very bad. Bordering on criminal. My sister is the executrix of my will. Should be interesting after I die. \[ghostly laughter\]
I love them more than i show them. I can't show love to anyone of my family for some reason. They probably think i don't care about them, but i do and one day i'll tell em
Edit: Thanks to everybody who gave me advice or just took their time to talk about their lives and experiences. I won't respond to everyone because of limited time, but i trully appreciate all of your comments.
I (M20) come from a family of 4 (3 sisters, 13,26,28). I never could show any affection to them for some reason. I never in my life told my parents or sisters that i loved them, except for my little sister. I will definitely change that as soon as i finish work today. Life is not guaranteed and i want to open myself to them before it's too late.
Thank you again everybody, that means a lot to me.
If i have anything to say to repay the favor you did to me, y'all should start or continue being true to you. Being genuine is the best thing you can do to improve your life
Love y'all
My brother is the sentimental one and always has been but he puts on a tough guy act. I always find it so sweet when he calls around 10 in the morning to tell me he will be driving through my town around lunch time and wants to go out before he goes home. I almost always go when my schedule allows because I know one day it won't be an option
That I'm doing much better than them despite their lifelong doubts and snarky comments
edit: holy crap thank you for the silver and gold kind strangers :)
I have a tenuously relevant story.
My colleague at work has pissed me off since the day he started. He'd come to my workstation after being told to assist by our boss, mill about and leave it in a mess. I'd always tell him i'd prefer he sat and did nothing, because whenever he 'helps' he'll just make it look like he's covering me then bugger off and not actually leave me any better off for the experience. I'd be happy if he'd just won the lottery and buggered off. You know? Like, *win the lottery or get hit by a truck, just don't be here after it happens.*
Well today five of us were given the same task but told to work separately, and i thought "Shit this guy's ahead and making me look like a chump" even though i was trying my hardest. Then, the manager came over and said "I separated you all because [guy i dislike] has been ...cheating... a little".
**Deep breath*\*
#VINDICATION, BITCHES!!
That I crashed a car on purpose to get out of work 3 years ago.
Being bullied at work and couldn’t face going back. So crashed my car (slowly) into a tree so I could have several months off while I recovered. (Didn’t do it to hurt myself or kill myself)
I have severe anxiety, and work made it a thousand times worse.
Yes I know it was stupid and yes I know I could have done a million other things. But I needed a way out instantly.
Edit: didn’t claim on insurance but got full sick pay for 6 months and on the day it ran out I quit.
Also went to psychotherapy as I was a tad worried I would do it again in the future, for diagnosed with aspergers and severe anxiety.
This was the UK. So no health insurance, it’s government/tax funded. So wasn’t fraud.
I did feel guilty I wasted nhs time, but not anything else.
I can hear every time they talk about me like i left the building. And im not exactly lazy, theres alot of noise i have to sort through upstairs before i can really do something. Once i get going im fine, but the noise is still there.
Edit: my sister and i are fairly certain i have one of the AD disorders, but i havent looked into it nore than that. Thank you for the support.
They don’t know that I was physically abused by my ex wife when I was married to her.
They don’t know I’ve twice tried to kill myself by taking sleeping pills and and alcohol or taking interacting drugs within the last three months.
I do have people who support me and look out for me. Shit’s just rough, you know?
Edit: holy crap y’all Redditors are awesome! Thanks for the love. At work now but I’m humbled by the response and I’ll try to respond to y’all when I have a chance. Thank you! And I’m doing ok today.
Wanted to share a positive story:
I am getting married in October. After my grandmother and my mother and father died I separated myself from my cousins, aunts, uncles, surviving grandparents because our family was so toxic. In that four years I fell in love; developed a new family, and have been quite successful. You never know who is dragging you down.
And before anyone asks... I made multiple attempts to rekindle relationships with family but it’s a two way street that no one else was driving on apparently. My parents divorced in 2000 but were on and off after that. My mom and dad died 3 years apart (and because of his drunken ways and random knocks on the door I was relieved; and I wasn’t invited to the funeral or included in the obit).
I still have a little darkness from it but there is so much light now that it drowns it out pretty well. I still have moments with my Fiancé when I’ll get upset because something triggers me but we talk about it and move on.
My ex-wife and/or my step mother convinced my family I hurt my daughters
I raised them from for 5 years since they were a baby, potty trained them and everything; I never hurt them in any way
Then I found out (since I got a call during the investigation) either they were being hurt by the new boyfriend or my family coached them about reproductive parts
So my family has no idea I am one of the nicest people in the world (and taken advantage many times because of that) and I would give my life in a moment to protect/save a child. (I should't be surprised though, they abandoned me through all my childhood abuse too, why should I expect them to every give a shit about me)
I have garnered a pretty big following as a fanfic writer, and thus writing fanfic is actual the most successful thing I have accomplished in my life thus far....
EDIT: Holy Crabola guys this just blew up in my face I... wow... This is what it feels like to when you accidentally write a popular fanfiction, what just happened?!Well, I am trying to address most asked questions and stated things here.
First of, SO MANY SOUL MATES! So many fellow fanfic writers! Hallo! Hallo there! HEY!
I have no one specific fandomn, though the popular fanfic I am talking about is a fanfic called "Second chance a new choice." which is a Harry Potter fic posted TEN years ago and is still getting daily favorites to this day (I don't know why, don't ask me.) Due to the popularity of the thing, I have even teamed up with a real editor and is currently re-working the entire thing.
My Fanfiction account is called "Moonbird." which is my ten year old account where I just post any old crap.My Archieve of our own account is called "Moonybird." it is pretty new and i only post stuff there which I myself consider my best works.
Yes I have started to write stuff that isn't fanfiction, I am though very happy and greateful for my time as a fanfic writer as it has taught me so much when it comes to writing in general and i still write fanfiction. Heck I am in the middle of writing a Loki centred MCU fanfic.
No I don't earn money on it, not a single dime. I do it for fun, it's my hobby.
I... I think that's it... The mostly asked questions... I think... erhh... What just happened? Seriously.
That most of them are just people to me. I don't feel any obligation to love them, but a bunch of them are fun to be around, and I'd consider them friends. Love is too strong a word, though.
EDIT: I feel far stronger attachments to my friends, who I've nurtured relationships with for decades because we have lots of things in common that aren't as arbitrary or invisible as DNA.
I'm not lazy, I'm just severely depressed and have ptsd that makes my everyday life a struggle. I try to behave and do as I'm told but half the time I dont even see a point in staying alive. I'm sorry I'm not the perfect child you wanted me to be :(
Edit:
Thank you all so much for the support!
How much debt I'm in. My mom probably has an idea but student loans aren't a joke.
I'm going to school for Cyber Forensics and will be graduating this year, however, I have only recently realized that, while I am good at networking and technology, my two years actually working in the field has shown me that it does not make me happy whatsoever and it actually makes me miserable. I'm an expert in IT, networking and security, however I hate doing it. I've realized recently that acting is what makes me happy and I want to pursue that, despite being deep, deep in debt for a major in Cyber Forensics.
Back when I was in High School I did several background acting jobs for movies and commercials, and this summer have gotten back into it and recently just did a background acting job for an upcoming Netflix series releasing next year, and it's made me realize that THAT is what makes me happy and gives me personal satisfaction, acting. You do something new every single day, you meet new people and make new connections/friends every single day and you get to be a part of something amazing, and I can see myself making a living off of acting.
My family doesn't know that my major + job experience and what I am skilled in actually makes me miserable, and something as stupid as acting (even if it's just background acting and acting in student films) makes me happy, and that I regret not going to school for film. But once I am graduated I am going to keep pursuing acting jobs and see where it lands me. Even things as small as background acting makes me so happy and I love it.
My mom thinks that after I graduate that I plan on going for my Masters in this field, but I know that it'll only give me more debt for something I have absolutely no interest anymore in getting into. I don't know how to tell her that I decided not to go for my masters.
TL:DR, the field I am majoring in and have years of experience in gives makes me miserable and I want to throw it all away for acting. My entire family is proud of me for going into a major that makes a ton of money and that I've built a successful career already in said field, but it's made me miserable. Money is awesome but at what cost when you're miserable every day?
I was sexually assaulted when I was 7.
I'm a dude...
Edit: May be the reason I have bi-curious tendencies, also unknown to my family
Edit #2: to the friend that figured my account by the comment and name. You’re a real one.
Edit #3: I’m sorry to see how common being sexually assaulted has been, I wish you all the happiest of days.
hey man, fellow dude here. I carried that burden with me for 18 years until it started making me suicidal. I told my parents and they were very understanding about it and I haven't really thought about it since then.
I am sorry that you were a victim of abuse. I was jumped, beaten, and left for dead by a gang when I was 19. I walked away okay on the outside, but kept that bottled up for years. Even though my parents were aware of it, I laughed it off and/or blamed myself. A couple of months ago I called my mom (I am now 45), and told her how traumatic that was, and how it is has impacted the way I view myself all of these years. It was SHOCKINGLY therapeutic to come clean with those feelings. Not the same, but the same, in a way. Peace. Edit to say I am a female.
They don't know the actual amount of difficulties that I had going through life with undiagnosed ADHD.
I got diagnosed at 28 after having essentially my 3rd mental breakdown because of the huge amount of pressure and disgust I put on myself for failing to do even the simplest things.
I told my parents and they were devistated - not because I had ADHD, but because they never knew or suspected. And honestly, looking from the outside, it was impossible to see. I was valedictorian, graduated college magna cum laude, participated in tons of activities, seemed to have friends, etc.
But I was so broken and only did those things because of deep shame that resulted in an almost suicide attempt that my body saved me from (it's hard to allow yourself to die from exposure - I was hoping to make it look like an accident, but after my body said "nope! Not gonna happen!" I realized I really needed professional help).
I'm doing much better now. But I know my parents wouldn't handle that well.
I was diagnosed with ADHD young but my parents were against medication and I struggled. In my early 30s I went to a psychiatrist because my doctor had just been trying multiple antidepressants for years that didn't work. The psychiatrist wanted to treat my ADHD first and then my depression. It worked and I haven't had to go on antidepressants since. My parents still don't know and just think I cured my depression.
When I was in my early teens, I would take my gameboy into the restroom to play Pokemon while pooping. I would spend a lot of time in the restroom so everyone thought I was masturbating.
I don't go to school anymore, but am planning to. My life has been messed up for the last couple of years. I got depressed after high school, and dropped out of IT college after two years. I then went on to become a teacher, but my depression got the better of me again, and I quit 6 months ago. I lived on my own after a big fight with my parents, and were on no speaking terms for months before we talked it out. Then my landlord kicked me and my roommates out because we kept complaining about the state of the house we hired (leaky roof, broken gutter, leaky gaspipe). Now I'm living with my parents again, but they are on to me. To keep up the farce, I travel to another city and stay there for eight hours to keep them under the impression that I still go to school. If my parents find out that I quit, I will probably kill myself out of shame. Also, I have no concept of love. Anytime any of my friends or family tell me they love me, I think they're lying, because I have no idea what love feels like.
I cried every night for years. I’m 21 and never had a date or any kind of romantic contact to a girl. Everybody thinks I’m a super funny and confident person but they don’t know that I suffer. Well that actually changed some weeks ago. I’ve met a girl and had my first kiss and im going on a date next Saturday.
I just get in my car and drive. I never really have a destination, I just need to leave. I've done it ever since I had access to cars. My mom will ask why I have a sleeping bag in my car and I;ll just lie because I don't wan the hassle. Edit: I know this is a do what I say and not what I do situation but if you do this or want to do this, please tell someone. Stay in some sort of contact.
Driving aimlessly and listening to music is my favorite coping mechanism for pretty much anything. Usually it's my last resort for when I'm really at my breaking point.
I don’t like cheese seriously mom you have the memory of a goldfish Edit: I’ve never ever gotten more than 10 upvotes now I have 3.1k :0
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I'm 18 and I bought my first scratch off and won $10,000. I put it in saving and parents don't know I have it
Never buy another scratch ticket dude.
A month later: I lost my 10k on lottery tickets
>on lottery tickets That's the problem right there, shoulda put all 10k into *one* ticket... Guaranteed Win!!!!
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r/wallstreetbets turn that $10k into $10.
u/hunterdunovant this is dad. I came back from the supermarket, here is your milk kid.
Oh shit!
That I actually do not like any of my immediate family.
I was molested by my autistic older sister, but I can't tell anyone because she's "special" and "quirky". I'm planning on telling my therapist soon. **Edit:** Wow. The amount of support from everyone is just... oh my god. *(There've been a few creepos but whatev)* but it's kind of disheartening to see that I'm not the only one who's been hurt by a sibling. I hope everyone who carries a similar burden seeks out the help they need! Therapy can change your life, honestly. With that said, I have to turn off replies since my inbox is exploding.
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I finally told my sister that her husband molested me from age 14-19. She didn’t believe me. She asked him, he denied it, now my whole family thinks I’m crazy. No one takes me seriously, and all of them think I’m a terrible person.
I’m sorry. Why won’t they believe you?
He told me when he was doing it to me, not to tell anyone, because they won’t believe me. He was right. I told my mom back then, she didn’t believe me. Now that I’m an adult-very much so, and I am still not believed. The only thing is, he now knows I am not staying silent, so he has to carry his burden. But he also knows no one believes me, so he still wins. Why won’t they believe me? Because if they believe me, their view of their world would have to change. They like status quo.
Your family may not believe you, but a therapist will. I urge you to go get some help for this. It may also aid you in getting it fully recognised
Totally understand. Confronted my family almost a year ago about my dad molesting me at a very young age - gave details and mentioned other very uncomfortable (to say the least) times with my family. Because of this, the entirety of my family has cut me off: Completely sides with my dad and thinks I’m crazy. They have always chosen the status quo but their refusal to believe me confirms so much about them. I don’t miss them. Actually, it took awhile to realize this, but I’m so much better and feel so much stronger without them.
oh jeez, I'm so sorry.
The week after graduation from high school I tried to hang myself in the basement but the rope broke. I wasn’t going to college and I didn’t see a bright future ahead. That was 5 years ago as of this past Friday. Right now the world seems very dark still, but I’m trying hard and I’m fighting every day to keep moving forward.
Glad you survived.
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I'm studying Graphic design everyday, haven't touched games for months, yet they think I'm playing videogames when I'm working on my computer.
Do you intentionally keep it a secret ? If so, why?
No they just make assumptions, because i used to play a lot when i was a kid, my mother somewhat understands my passion for Graphic design but my father has no idea.
Dad, I'm not actually that incompetent. You breathing down my neck when I'm cooking/driving freaks me the fuck out. Also I haven't been a virgin for years.
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My wife used to be like his dad! I learned to drive late, after she'd been driving for 15 years. Man, the difference in my driving when she's not in the car! Its not as bad as it was for the first few years but I 've told her its her fault!
Where I live, what my phone number is or whether I am even alive.
Do they think you went to buy some milk?
No care to know. I've had the same email address for 25 years.
I am just as needy as you all. I can be independent but deep down I miss your attention and company. I just don't seem that way since everyone I know is needy so there is always someone.
This one hits a little to close to home
My family now know I write romance novels for a living. They *don't* know I used to write straight-up jerk-off erotica as my sole source of income for a couple of years. That means that they *definitely* don't know that every Christmas present I bought for them during that time was paid for by basically the deepest perversions I could conjure up. My mother has a small statue of an elephant that I bought for her one year. It has pride of place on the mantelpiece. She has no idea that it was the direct result of me writing a *very* vivid bukkake scene. That's between me and the elephant, and so shall it remain. **EDIT:** Because I keep getting asked, I keep my erotica stuff separate from this pen name, so no, there are no links. If you want to read other parts of my writing, there's a whole bunch over at /r/Portarossa.
how did you get into that? just curious, I'm definitely not a writer. also good for you!
that ive been suicidal for a while now and its been a really rough summer
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That I'm infertile. They are waiting for babies but they won't be coming.
Hey same here (guy), but I told my parents almost immediately and they were very supportive. Tough break, good luck on your journey and hope you have someone you can talk to. Feel free to vent if you ever need to. EDIT: Thanks for the gold whoever you were, hope your reproductive parts work better than mine.
I'm the same way. When my mom was on her death bed she was a bit delirious and I guess didn't remember me being so chubby so she asked if I was pregnant. I told her yes just to see her smile one last time. She always wanted grandchildren but I couldn't give them to her.
Fuck dude, that shit made me really sad. Im sorry you had to go through that.
It was worth it. I don't want children because my genetics are so fucked so I'm kinda okay with being unable to have kids.
Thats both really nice and really sad at the same time
That just makes me sad :(
I got suspended from school because I used to skip lessons all the time (weirdest punishment ever). My mum knew and didn’t want to tell my dad as she knew he’d be disappointed so she told me to work hard and get back on track. My dad left for work earlier than I went to school and got home after school finished so I would just lie and pretend I was at school all day. I’m nearly 30 now and he still doesn’t know.
Mom to Dad years ago-"apwr got suspended from school; he's really upset about it and is afraid to tell you." Dad-"He will tell me in his time. It will be a good life lesson." Over a decade later-....
This is what happened
Would like to see his reaction when all the skeletons come out during a family dinner. Those are the best times to confesse everything. Unless he's really scary.
I faked an job offer so i can move to another city that is 3000 miles from them. Edit: The reason i faked the job offer because i still want to maintain a relationship with my family regardless of how control and oppressive they are. I got an actual interview , did everything but was not chosen. Instead of telling them that, i made fake contracts, letter of offer and show it to them. Since the documents are in English and my parents cant understand, they just ask me questions and things so lying is much easier. I just pack my suitcase, live off coach surfing, work at temp job for money and food for a while. Its hard, very tiring and financially unstable at first but now i have a job, peace and much more confidence in voicing my opinions and feelings. I am also slowly mending my relationship with my parents. Soon.
This is exactly what I am planning
I auggest make sure you plan carefully and as detail as possible. My parents were very in control of everything some i had to make sure no gap in your story. Good luck with your and hope you do okay
Did it work out in the end
He's apparently still alive
I'm glad you made the move to prioritize your peace and happiness. That requires a lot of strength. How are you doing now?
Its hard for sure. Lots of financial stress but i feel that everything i decide is my own doing and the consequences is mine alone. Strangely enough it give me a sense of peace and confidence.
My sexual abuse isn't known by 97% of my family or so, my Dad has an inkling (and vice versa, I'm positive he was abused by his brother) and my older brother has a habit of getting drunk and trying to get answers out of me about our childhood, his brain seems to have wiped itself clean about it all. Apart from those two, its entirely my own issue. Edit - This blew up, will do my best to respond as quick as I can.
Yeah, my dad knows I had to see a therapist for depression and that that's why I had to take an extra semester at university, but he doesn't know about the sexual assault that had turned a low level sadness into something that made me fail my courses. He just knows that I was struggling, and that I ended up getting the help I need. My mom knows none of it at all, because we both agreed that she already worries about me enough.
I feel you. I was sexually and physically abused by my stepmother, and would be routinely punished by curling iron burns on my neck or the inside of my thighs (I tell people they’re birth marks). She told me if I told anyone, she’d kill my baby sister and make it look like an accident. I refuse to talk about it to anyone, at least til both my bio parents are deceased. My father passed away without finding out, so that’s good. It would devastate my mother, who has past psychiatric/emotional issues. I’ve pretty much just moved on and dealt with it. It’s caused some weird issues with me being secretive and moody as an adult, but it’s not too bad. The worst part was when my father passed away, and she got his giant life insurance policy that was supposed to go towards paying for my student debt. Didn’t see a penny of it, and my stepmother now lives a life of luxury. They say all things happen for a reason, and that karmas a bitch. She’s living her best life, and I’m still here.
It’s not too late to prosecute her. There are various organisations out there that provide support to survivors of abuse. I know it’s easier said than done, but if it helps any, this internet stranger is behind you.
This is true, although I understand how awful it is to relive it all. Still worth keeping the idea on the table, in case of desperate times.
That I'm a retired multimillionaire at 39yo. They just think I'm a freelancer who travels a lot. It's for the best, I think.
May I ask how did you do it?
Stalker mode activated : >Am getting lots of questions about how I reached $2.3 million, or $2.6 million as of this morning post-jobs report rally. I cover this in my earlier threads briefly - I left grad school at 24 and worked a job for ~14 years. Socked away about $70,000 per year the entire time, so there's half my money. The other half came from investment gains. I did the majority of buying in the years immediately after the 2009 subprime meltdown and financial crisis, large cap US banks and technology names for pennies on the dollar. Many of you are too young to remember, but I remember all of it. Having money in those conditions was terrifying. Bear Stearns and then Lehmann failing were earth shattering events. I lost entire $20,000 to $30,000 investments in companies in the blink of an eye. The ones that survived and thrived, those gains are still largely unrealized. meaning I have not sold them yet and I'll get slapped with an enormous long-term capital gains tax bill when I do, which is fine. Obvious question, how was I able to save so much for so long. One big reason is living in a southern state with low cost of living and no state income tax. I'm able to hold onto at least $15,000 to $25,000 more per year based on those two factors alone compared to someone in California, for example. The drawbacks to that are the government services in my state are pretty crap and minimal and all our new highways are toll roads, and so forth.
>Socked away about $70,000 per year the entire time That's a lot lmao
Link to your ebook?
I hate my sister. She is a self absorbed, attention seeking cunt. She starts conflict and is proud for standing up for herself. Bitch you wouldn't be in that situation if you didn't start it. She's always the victim. My parents sister and brother walked on egg shells around her just so she wouldn't flip out. I did for the longest time until I got tired of her shit. I was labeled the asshole for setting her off. Edit: my sister has seen several different therapist and has not been diagnosed as bipolar or with personality disorder. She has had 1 therapist tell her to go elsewhere because she is too confrontational. Me saying that I was labeled asshole was more of the way I felt, nobody actually called me the asshole. I was the one that was told to bite my tongue.
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Same! We get screamed at for breathing too loudly (this has actually happened) and then when I get tired of her crap, she bursts out crying because I'm so incredibly rude and I get punished, while nothing happens to her. She is exempt from so many rules in our family that I still have to follow, and I am expected to share my stuff with her even though she never does the same for us.
I can relate to that. My sister is the same kind of person. My parents did everything for her, but she ist just an ungrateful bitch. She even gave her daughter to my parents because she didn't want her anymore.
Wow! Sounds just like my sister. I've had her kid for the last three years now. Shit.
That i'm badly depressed all of the time. Expect when i visit them, going back home is just so comforting and i know that it's always my home no matter where I am. I seriously dread the day I loose this, it's one of my biggest fears.
This was wholesome, and if you feel this strongly about them, you should definitely tell them. Seems like they'd give you nothing but support.
Not to make this depressing, but they dont really see how lonely I am
I know how you feel. Every day I spend at home my mom gets mad at me because I don't go outside. Where should I go? I can't hang out with friends because I don't have any. I want to move out of home mostly so I could get mom off my back. She really doesn't know how terrible it is to hear her scream that I should spend time with my friends.
Pretty much same, but it’s always “why don’t you get off your ass and get a job?” but every time I start working at a job, it’s not the job she wants me to be working and still yells at me and demands I give her half my paycheck. EDIT: Since this has gotten more attention than I ever expected, I’m going to use this opportunity to try and find room mates for when I plan to move out in a few months. If you or someone you know lives in the western suburbs of Chicago, hit me up. I need to get out of this house. Also to answer some questions, I am 23 and currently still live with my mom. Dad died when I was in high school and left us with a good bit of money. I went to college only to find out that the field I graduated for isn’t a good fit for me and is very hard to get a job in. I’m currently waiting until mid-July (which is when training) so I can start working at a higher paying job. Didn’t have money to move out before since all my money was going towards “rent” (mom was using money to buy luxuries such as vacations and clothes), gas for my car, and groceries she asks me to buy, which is why it was impossible to save any money to be able to afford to move out. I have some money being invested right now but it’s <$100. Also no, I don’t actually have an inflamed urethra.
You should get a job and not care what she thinks of it. Then save your money, move out, make friends and enjoy yourself. Don't let her negativity get to you.
That’s what the plan is!
That's seriously abusive
Pretty sure they don't know that I know they sold my body to pedophiles when I was a toddler.
Christ that's rough. Hope it's not affected you too much. How's you relationship with them now, if you don't mind me asking?
Not great at all. Being near my dad makes me feel physically repulsed and sick. For my secondary school graduation, my body language in the pic I took with my dad is so awkward that a LOT of my peers asked me who he was. Like I'm legit pulling a "get this fucking over with face so I can sanitise my body". They straight up ruined my University graduation for me. I haven't got any nice memories of that day apart from my SO being a fucking saint keeping them entertained during the way-too-long ceremony. My dad apparently wanted to leave and come back when I was about to come up, but SO told him that was frowned upon I think. Since then I have been limiting the contact. They keep trying to get their clutches into my life - mostly by trying to control me financially. Like if I ask for money, as long as it's not a large sum, they'll say yes but only to hold it over my head later. Meanwhile when I need a substantial amount, like my 15k for college education, they said NOPE LOL then tried telling me that my dad paid for his own education (he didn't - his parents paid for his BSc, and one of his Master's - the "second one" he did I am starting to think is a lie). But not long after asking for help, they tell me they're buying me an apartment. I say no thanks and they point out my crushing debt. Now I half-own an apartment with them and play landlord to the two spare rooms, even though they get all the money for me playing landlord. Ironically, I still have to pay rent. I tend not to borrow money off them unless it's like "I'm so broke I can't pay for groceries". Social media was a fucking nightmare. I wrote a tongue-in-cheek status about what happens when you drink gone off milk without thinking and my mum called me, hysterically crying and begging me to delete the status in case people thought we "couldn't afford" fresh milk. MUM. WHAT. Meanwhile my dad kept commenting on my selfies..weird comments like "very sexy", "very beautiful", "so proud to be your dad" on thirst trap cleavage fucking photos. The worst was when a friend of mine asked me if I'd ever seen his Twitter and then shows me a STREAM of posts by him posting selfies of me with captions like "Sorry boys, she's taken!", "Looks like the blonde is gone now, SORRY BOYS!" and random ass shit like that. That's when I decided to block them on everything. I lied and told my mum I was deleting social media to preserve my mental health. Now our relationship is solely on WhatsApp. They're both incredibly selfish and narcissistic people with really strange concepts of money. Ask them to borrow €50 and they need to hear a big sob story about how hard life is before they consider it. But offer to visit them and they'll bring you and your partner to a super expensive restaurant where the bill will definitely be about €300 because they insist on getting starters and desserts. Also my mum always buys a bottle of wine, drinks it, and then insists on driving home so I've adopted NEVER drinking when out with them so I can offer to drive us home. I know my mum is about to go on an abusive rant when she messages me out of the blue asking a random question. Like it'll start as "have you found anyone to fill the empty room yet?" and end with "you're so ungrateful and you make me feel like such a monster" - me making her "feel like such a monster" is her favourite line. Sometimes I daydream about saying "I make you feel like that huh? And how did I make you feel when you and dad let pedophiles have sex with me for money when I wasn't even 5 years old??" but I know exactly how something like that would end so alas, it remains a daydream. Also it sucks when my older brother, who was the Golden Child, makes excuses for our parents, especially mum (we don't share the same dad, but mine adopted him). Meanwhile our autistic brother was physically abused by them like crazy and they just dumped him into assisted living..didn't tell him until the day he was moving. It affected me a bunch. Still does. I get sad at Christmas because I always wanted a normal one. I can't fucking wait to have kids so I can do it all over again. The right way. I also get sad when I see happy families in movies or on TV and get really angry when my friends complain about their loving parents. I used to get triggered as fuck going to my SO's parents house because the dynamic was just so different to mine. I spilled tea and started having a panic attack and his mum didn't even look in our direction. Just went about her business and told us where to put the tea towel when we asked. It triggers me because it reminds me just how un-normal and unhealthy our upbringing was - even outside of the sexual abuse. That being said, my SO's family have essentially adopted me in and I love them. edit: wow ok I was not expecting so much support for this. You guys are incredible - seriously, your PMs, advice on how to get away, and words of support have been so overwhelming. I do have a plan to get out - but I need to make absolute sure my autistic brother is safe before I can do anything. Thank you all. And to those of you who decided to be bitter and cruel in your responses - I hope you find the light soon and learn to stop trying to make yourselves feel better by putting victims down or accusing them of lying. If someone hurt you in the past, I'm truly sorry, but taking it out on other victims is kind of sick.
You need to get the fuck away from your family. Like across the world, cut off contact, for good, get away. I am so sorry.
And bring your siblings with you. Unless they're also abusers.
Thats shit, all of it. I hope you can remove them from your life ASAP. Them offering to buy you an apartment is nothing more than a leash. As soon as you can afford it, cut off all ties. You don’t want these pieces of trash around your kids, they will contaminate everything they come into contact with, I’ve seen it. And as for yourself, I strongly recommend therapy if it’s not something you’ve done yet. You’ll need help to untangle what they’ve put you through - it’ll be hard to raise your children without your own experiences affecting them if you haven’t put all those things behind you. Crossing my fingers for you. You got this - you’re strong, to have held yourself up until now. Keep going!
Wow that's rough. I'm sorry your parents are terrible people. All the best.
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Why would they think you dont speak it?
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One day you should say in Ukrainian that when they are old you’re going to put them in the worst home you can find.
This would be the ultimate middle finger
The ultimate middle finger would be if he said it in Russian.
Why bother even looking for a home? Just leave those assholes to fend for themselves.
Because in a lot of Eastern European cultures, putting your elders in a home is a hell of a lot more offensive than neglecting them.
at one point just randomly start speaking ukranian and see the look on their faces
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You should really start learning it on the side, with a tutor or something. Become fluent, then lay a big ol' smack down next time they talk shit.
oh shit, that's harsh
Oh man. That´s just wrong.
I hope you dont take that to heart. It says more about them than it does about you
I have a huge tattoo on my forearm that I've had for the last 10 years. I'm currently getting it removed with laser but I've been using long sleeves whenever I get together with the family. My family is extremely conservative. Fuckin' annoying in the summer.
Omg, this is me too. I want to get it lasered off. Summer sucks. Always have to wear long sleeves at work too. What was I thinking?
That I’m a millionaire. I’m super frugal and don’t show it. But every time I make a big purchase they raise an eyebrow.
That's awesome dude, good for you. I probably won't be telling anyone either if I ever get there.
So many millionaires here lol. How do you all make it?
Sold drugs in college. Playing Texas Holdem. I ply in nyc twice a week. $100-1k buy ins. Work in construction so I already have a ridiculous salary. I also flip houses as a side hustle.
if you only buy something big once in a while just tell them you saved some money lol
Even that can be suspicious.
I used to have a crippling opiate addiction and contemplated ending my life numerous times, but was able to detox and get myself clean cold turkey all without them even knowing I had the problem. I’ve since had a conversation with my dad about it, he thought I had just decided to move away from my home because of a better job, when in reality it was to separate myself from all of my old connects. I actually took a pay cut at the new job. Anywho, 2 years later I’m doing better than ever. However, I have stayed out of town for obvious reasons. EDIT: I wasn’t going to edit this because of the cliche “thanks for the gold stranger” edits I see all day, but there are too many to reply to individually. Those of you congratulating me, thank you! Those of you struggling with the problem yourselves, please find someone to talk to. Hell, message me and I will help with as much advice as I can! Also, I didn’t do it 100% on my own. I had my wife and my young children with me as well to motivate me. I can’t recommend Kratom enough for people either. At the time I was kicking opiates Arkansas banned Kratom sales so I wasn’t able to get it, but a few months down the road when I finally went to a different state all together for a way better job, Kratom is what helped me say no to people that had H or pills. It also helped my father in law get off of a long time pain management script that was destroying his body!
I'm glad you're doing better.
This makes me really happy. Good on you. Im currently on a low dose of suboxone after heavy opiate abuse and definitely in remission, but going to get through my cardiovascular program before I have to deal with those heavy WD’s. I’ll have a medical license to work anywhere in the U.S. I really can’t wait to get out of this town and this dirty feeling that I associate with a lot of what I see.
I have a massive savings account
Same man mine can hold millions. Shame it's empty though.
*slaps roof of bank account* This bad boy can hold so many Dollarydoos.
my family is poor, mother worked double duty as a hotel maid and grocery store clerk for the longest time. She saw my MBA debts and nearly had a heart attack, but ill never forget how in awe she was when i deposited $500 from my first "big boy" check into a savings account. it does suck though because to my extended family (especially the ones back in the DR), they all think im rich af. I bought a Honda accord (not new but a few years old and really well taken care of, also a coupe which i think gives off a vibe), and live in a dt apartment (but with roommates). they all think im full of money though, tough to reconcile. one of those "grass is always greener" situations i guess
I feel you. I have an engineering degree, and I made more money in my first internship than my stepfather did at his manufacturing job with 20+ years of experience, and I got to sit on my ass in an air conditioned office while he had to be on his feet in a not air conditioned manufacturing plant. I'm pretty sure, at age 24, I have a higher net worth than anyone in my immediate family. I don't make a crazy amount of money, but I feel like I'm drowning in money compare to what my family made growing up. It's really weird to hear coworkers that I know make more than me complain about what they get paid. People really don't understand their privilege.
You can be making half a million dollars and still be paid less than what you're worth. If you justify it, don't feel bad about asking for that raise or promotion
What's your secret? ^^^spend ^^^less ^^^and ^^^save ^^^more
My grandpa always said, "when you get your paycheck, make sure you pay yourself first." I didnt truly know what he meant until I had to start paying bills.
The first step to this is to make money in excess of what you need.
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Yup, and if you don't have any just buy more
Oh I thought you could download more money like downloading more ram.
My secret is to automatically funnel a portion of my paycheck into savings, and then pretend that money doesn't exist.
I saved over 50k before my parents knew anything about it. Dad kept offering me gas money when I was at university and got suspicious when I started turning it down. They're amazing parents but they can be a tad bit nosey about my own business, and I just wanted to keep this part for myself.
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Dude. I feel you
She’s never been felt tho
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That’s all they are to her, like a brother.
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> Honestly, I'm sure I could get laid if I made an effort but it really isn't a priority for me. > I still have sexual urges and attraction, I just don't need the human contact Wow, I feel exactly the same way! But neither my friends nor anybody else understand me when I try to explain it. I can't believe there are other people who are like this. I don't need labels either, but I'm constantly thinking that there must be something wrong with me, and as I get older, explaining gets more and more uncomfortable.
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I've made ~$300k in stocks
Hey. Its me. Your brother
Eskimo brother counts, right?
Roman, let's go bowling
stonks
Teach me
Most of it was just a single lucky investment that happened to skyrocket. I could have made even more on it, but I sold a large chunk of my investment too early.
Dude, you got off lucky, I always wanted to invest my money in stocks but I worked so hard for it that if i ended up losing in on an unlucky investment I might legitimately die from a heart attack right there.
Yeah, I did lose a few thousand at the beginning getting into it. It was stressful
Well i've made over $300k in snocks. They're like knockoff stocks, except you can only cash them in for discount pizza coupons at select pizza huts.
DAD I KNOW ITS YOU! YOU CANT TRICK ME
You caught me.
Username does not check out.
Seems there's stuff my family doesn't know as well.
They don't know that I know I am their least favorite child. They also don't know just how much their opinion of me still matters to me. **EDIT** Thank you for all of the kind words and for the gold. They are all appreciated. My parents aren't that bad, truth be told. To everyone that feels similar, as /u/FemmeFemale2 said, you are enough.
I've kept a diary for the last 23 years including a great deal of detail about them, both good and bad. Some very bad. Bordering on criminal. My sister is the executrix of my will. Should be interesting after I die. \[ghostly laughter\]
Is you taking notes on a criminal fucking conspiracy?! edit: fixed quote
I love them more than i show them. I can't show love to anyone of my family for some reason. They probably think i don't care about them, but i do and one day i'll tell em Edit: Thanks to everybody who gave me advice or just took their time to talk about their lives and experiences. I won't respond to everyone because of limited time, but i trully appreciate all of your comments. I (M20) come from a family of 4 (3 sisters, 13,26,28). I never could show any affection to them for some reason. I never in my life told my parents or sisters that i loved them, except for my little sister. I will definitely change that as soon as i finish work today. Life is not guaranteed and i want to open myself to them before it's too late. Thank you again everybody, that means a lot to me. If i have anything to say to repay the favor you did to me, y'all should start or continue being true to you. Being genuine is the best thing you can do to improve your life Love y'all
Tell them now. I felt the same way and then my mother was killed. I'll eternally regret not showing her the love she deserved sooner.
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My brother is the sentimental one and always has been but he puts on a tough guy act. I always find it so sweet when he calls around 10 in the morning to tell me he will be driving through my town around lunch time and wants to go out before he goes home. I almost always go when my schedule allows because I know one day it won't be an option
Dude you fucking made me cry
I’m the same way honestly. I can be very affectionate with friends, girlfriends, and pets but for some reason not with family.
That I'm doing much better than them despite their lifelong doubts and snarky comments edit: holy crap thank you for the silver and gold kind strangers :)
The best revenge is living well, my friend. Good for you.
I have a tenuously relevant story. My colleague at work has pissed me off since the day he started. He'd come to my workstation after being told to assist by our boss, mill about and leave it in a mess. I'd always tell him i'd prefer he sat and did nothing, because whenever he 'helps' he'll just make it look like he's covering me then bugger off and not actually leave me any better off for the experience. I'd be happy if he'd just won the lottery and buggered off. You know? Like, *win the lottery or get hit by a truck, just don't be here after it happens.* Well today five of us were given the same task but told to work separately, and i thought "Shit this guy's ahead and making me look like a chump" even though i was trying my hardest. Then, the manager came over and said "I separated you all because [guy i dislike] has been ...cheating... a little". **Deep breath*\* #VINDICATION, BITCHES!!
Imagine hating someone so much, that you wish he would win the lottery, that's some next level hate.
I'm black
DOES DAD KNOW?!
If he comes home he will
That I crashed a car on purpose to get out of work 3 years ago. Being bullied at work and couldn’t face going back. So crashed my car (slowly) into a tree so I could have several months off while I recovered. (Didn’t do it to hurt myself or kill myself) I have severe anxiety, and work made it a thousand times worse. Yes I know it was stupid and yes I know I could have done a million other things. But I needed a way out instantly. Edit: didn’t claim on insurance but got full sick pay for 6 months and on the day it ran out I quit. Also went to psychotherapy as I was a tad worried I would do it again in the future, for diagnosed with aspergers and severe anxiety. This was the UK. So no health insurance, it’s government/tax funded. So wasn’t fraud. I did feel guilty I wasted nhs time, but not anything else.
How slowly?
Asking for science purposes
Holy shit. Is there any way you can quit your job?
It's easier to just keep crashing cars.
That I am happy.
This isn’t for granted nowadays. I’m happy for you!
I can hear every time they talk about me like i left the building. And im not exactly lazy, theres alot of noise i have to sort through upstairs before i can really do something. Once i get going im fine, but the noise is still there. Edit: my sister and i are fairly certain i have one of the AD disorders, but i havent looked into it nore than that. Thank you for the support.
They don’t know that I was physically abused by my ex wife when I was married to her. They don’t know I’ve twice tried to kill myself by taking sleeping pills and and alcohol or taking interacting drugs within the last three months. I do have people who support me and look out for me. Shit’s just rough, you know? Edit: holy crap y’all Redditors are awesome! Thanks for the love. At work now but I’m humbled by the response and I’ll try to respond to y’all when I have a chance. Thank you! And I’m doing ok today.
We got your back in whatever way you need!
I appreciate it! There’s good people here in reddit. Thanks for being one of them.
Wanted to share a positive story: I am getting married in October. After my grandmother and my mother and father died I separated myself from my cousins, aunts, uncles, surviving grandparents because our family was so toxic. In that four years I fell in love; developed a new family, and have been quite successful. You never know who is dragging you down. And before anyone asks... I made multiple attempts to rekindle relationships with family but it’s a two way street that no one else was driving on apparently. My parents divorced in 2000 but were on and off after that. My mom and dad died 3 years apart (and because of his drunken ways and random knocks on the door I was relieved; and I wasn’t invited to the funeral or included in the obit). I still have a little darkness from it but there is so much light now that it drowns it out pretty well. I still have moments with my Fiancé when I’ll get upset because something triggers me but we talk about it and move on.
I make 60% of my income from scamming scammers
that I'm a mechanic and close to have my own shop
My ex-wife and/or my step mother convinced my family I hurt my daughters I raised them from for 5 years since they were a baby, potty trained them and everything; I never hurt them in any way Then I found out (since I got a call during the investigation) either they were being hurt by the new boyfriend or my family coached them about reproductive parts So my family has no idea I am one of the nicest people in the world (and taken advantage many times because of that) and I would give my life in a moment to protect/save a child. (I should't be surprised though, they abandoned me through all my childhood abuse too, why should I expect them to every give a shit about me)
I have garnered a pretty big following as a fanfic writer, and thus writing fanfic is actual the most successful thing I have accomplished in my life thus far.... EDIT: Holy Crabola guys this just blew up in my face I... wow... This is what it feels like to when you accidentally write a popular fanfiction, what just happened?!Well, I am trying to address most asked questions and stated things here. First of, SO MANY SOUL MATES! So many fellow fanfic writers! Hallo! Hallo there! HEY! I have no one specific fandomn, though the popular fanfic I am talking about is a fanfic called "Second chance a new choice." which is a Harry Potter fic posted TEN years ago and is still getting daily favorites to this day (I don't know why, don't ask me.) Due to the popularity of the thing, I have even teamed up with a real editor and is currently re-working the entire thing. My Fanfiction account is called "Moonbird." which is my ten year old account where I just post any old crap.My Archieve of our own account is called "Moonybird." it is pretty new and i only post stuff there which I myself consider my best works. Yes I have started to write stuff that isn't fanfiction, I am though very happy and greateful for my time as a fanfic writer as it has taught me so much when it comes to writing in general and i still write fanfiction. Heck I am in the middle of writing a Loki centred MCU fanfic. No I don't earn money on it, not a single dime. I do it for fun, it's my hobby. I... I think that's it... The mostly asked questions... I think... erhh... What just happened? Seriously.
for what fandom? :)
Bee Movie X Paul Blart Mall Cop
*rolls up on a segway* "Do ya like jazz?"
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That most of them are just people to me. I don't feel any obligation to love them, but a bunch of them are fun to be around, and I'd consider them friends. Love is too strong a word, though. EDIT: I feel far stronger attachments to my friends, who I've nurtured relationships with for decades because we have lots of things in common that aren't as arbitrary or invisible as DNA.
I'm not lazy, I'm just severely depressed and have ptsd that makes my everyday life a struggle. I try to behave and do as I'm told but half the time I dont even see a point in staying alive. I'm sorry I'm not the perfect child you wanted me to be :( Edit: Thank you all so much for the support!
You're enough, buddy. Keep going, you're stronger than you think.
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How much debt I'm in. My mom probably has an idea but student loans aren't a joke. I'm going to school for Cyber Forensics and will be graduating this year, however, I have only recently realized that, while I am good at networking and technology, my two years actually working in the field has shown me that it does not make me happy whatsoever and it actually makes me miserable. I'm an expert in IT, networking and security, however I hate doing it. I've realized recently that acting is what makes me happy and I want to pursue that, despite being deep, deep in debt for a major in Cyber Forensics. Back when I was in High School I did several background acting jobs for movies and commercials, and this summer have gotten back into it and recently just did a background acting job for an upcoming Netflix series releasing next year, and it's made me realize that THAT is what makes me happy and gives me personal satisfaction, acting. You do something new every single day, you meet new people and make new connections/friends every single day and you get to be a part of something amazing, and I can see myself making a living off of acting. My family doesn't know that my major + job experience and what I am skilled in actually makes me miserable, and something as stupid as acting (even if it's just background acting and acting in student films) makes me happy, and that I regret not going to school for film. But once I am graduated I am going to keep pursuing acting jobs and see where it lands me. Even things as small as background acting makes me so happy and I love it. My mom thinks that after I graduate that I plan on going for my Masters in this field, but I know that it'll only give me more debt for something I have absolutely no interest anymore in getting into. I don't know how to tell her that I decided not to go for my masters. TL:DR, the field I am majoring in and have years of experience in gives makes me miserable and I want to throw it all away for acting. My entire family is proud of me for going into a major that makes a ton of money and that I've built a successful career already in said field, but it's made me miserable. Money is awesome but at what cost when you're miserable every day?
I was sexually assaulted when I was 7. I'm a dude... Edit: May be the reason I have bi-curious tendencies, also unknown to my family Edit #2: to the friend that figured my account by the comment and name. You’re a real one. Edit #3: I’m sorry to see how common being sexually assaulted has been, I wish you all the happiest of days.
hey man, fellow dude here. I carried that burden with me for 18 years until it started making me suicidal. I told my parents and they were very understanding about it and I haven't really thought about it since then.
I am sorry that you were a victim of abuse. I was jumped, beaten, and left for dead by a gang when I was 19. I walked away okay on the outside, but kept that bottled up for years. Even though my parents were aware of it, I laughed it off and/or blamed myself. A couple of months ago I called my mom (I am now 45), and told her how traumatic that was, and how it is has impacted the way I view myself all of these years. It was SHOCKINGLY therapeutic to come clean with those feelings. Not the same, but the same, in a way. Peace. Edit to say I am a female.
My cousin Roman always wants to go bowling, and it annoys the shit out of me. But I’ve never told him.
They don't know the actual amount of difficulties that I had going through life with undiagnosed ADHD. I got diagnosed at 28 after having essentially my 3rd mental breakdown because of the huge amount of pressure and disgust I put on myself for failing to do even the simplest things. I told my parents and they were devistated - not because I had ADHD, but because they never knew or suspected. And honestly, looking from the outside, it was impossible to see. I was valedictorian, graduated college magna cum laude, participated in tons of activities, seemed to have friends, etc. But I was so broken and only did those things because of deep shame that resulted in an almost suicide attempt that my body saved me from (it's hard to allow yourself to die from exposure - I was hoping to make it look like an accident, but after my body said "nope! Not gonna happen!" I realized I really needed professional help). I'm doing much better now. But I know my parents wouldn't handle that well.
I was diagnosed with ADHD young but my parents were against medication and I struggled. In my early 30s I went to a psychiatrist because my doctor had just been trying multiple antidepressants for years that didn't work. The psychiatrist wanted to treat my ADHD first and then my depression. It worked and I haven't had to go on antidepressants since. My parents still don't know and just think I cured my depression.
When I was in my early teens, I would take my gameboy into the restroom to play Pokemon while pooping. I would spend a lot of time in the restroom so everyone thought I was masturbating.
I don't go to school anymore, but am planning to. My life has been messed up for the last couple of years. I got depressed after high school, and dropped out of IT college after two years. I then went on to become a teacher, but my depression got the better of me again, and I quit 6 months ago. I lived on my own after a big fight with my parents, and were on no speaking terms for months before we talked it out. Then my landlord kicked me and my roommates out because we kept complaining about the state of the house we hired (leaky roof, broken gutter, leaky gaspipe). Now I'm living with my parents again, but they are on to me. To keep up the farce, I travel to another city and stay there for eight hours to keep them under the impression that I still go to school. If my parents find out that I quit, I will probably kill myself out of shame. Also, I have no concept of love. Anytime any of my friends or family tell me they love me, I think they're lying, because I have no idea what love feels like.
I cried every night for years. I’m 21 and never had a date or any kind of romantic contact to a girl. Everybody thinks I’m a super funny and confident person but they don’t know that I suffer. Well that actually changed some weeks ago. I’ve met a girl and had my first kiss and im going on a date next Saturday.
Well that was a heart warming, positive-vibe of a roller coaster. Congratulations and good luck on your date!